The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Krystyna Hutchinson, Nathan Macintosh, and Kevin Brennan

Episode Date: October 1, 2018

Krystyna Hutchinson is a standup comedian and co-host of the podcast, "Guys We Fucked." Nathan Macintosh is a standup comedian who has appeared on Conan and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.  Kevin Brennan is a standup comedian and host of the podcast, "Burning Bridges."

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to The Comedy Cellar show here on Sirius XM, Channel 99. We're here at the back table of The Comedy Cellar. My name is Noam Dorman. I'm the owner of The Comedy Cellar. I'm here with my very good friend and regular co-host, Mr. Dan Natterman. How do you do, Noam? Very well, Dan. You want to introduce the guest? Well, first of all, Noam, I wanted to say I'm a little out of sorts tonight because I just found out that the movie Life is Beautiful, remember that movie? Roberto Bonini came out 21 years ago. Feeling old?

Well, at the time, it's scary how fast the time goes. It's frightening and the end is near. With that, let me introduce our guests. Christina Hutchinson. Hi. She is the co-host of the ever-popular Guys We Fuck podcast. It's the anti-slut-shaming podcast. If you're into slut-shaming, don't bother listening, because that's not what they do.

Well, you should listen, because then you get a lesson. Yes, that's true. And the intros fall off from here. I don't have anything that big to... Well, go ahead, Dan. I don't know what you were going to say. All the way from the great city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, where Titanic survivors are buried.

Yeah, true? Yes. Not all of them. Some of the ones, they didn't find them all. They found certain ones. Yeah, it's like 15 people off the side of a highway that they buried somewhere. You don't bury survivors, do you, Dan? Did I say survivors?

I think so, yeah. What I meant. Good catch. That's a good catch. Well, even all the survivors are dead by now. Yeah. And they're all buried in Halifax. And they're buried somewhere, but not in Halifax.

Moving back to Halifax. No, that's where they buried the- all buried in Halifax. And they're buried somewhere, but not in Halifax. We'll go back to Halifax. No, that's where they buried the... Put me in Halifax. Those who died that tragic night in 1912. Many of them are buried in Halifax. And also noteworthy for Nate

McIntosh, comedian who is a relatively recent edition of the Comedy Cellar, and he's been killing it on stage. Hey, thanks, man. Yay. There is some debate as to whether you're a redhead or not.

There's no debate, Dan. I tend to say that you are not. Who's debating? Yeah, I know. He's a redhead. It looks blonde to me. Really? Yeah, it's red, Dan.

I don't know why you got to do this. Well, that's, we'll agree to disagree. But he says there's some debate. It means that he isn't biased. The one topic they didn't want to talk about. We've got a hell of a show today. Of course, we're going to get to, hopefully we'll have time to get to Kavanaugh on the latest.

With that, last time we had Janine Garofalo on, and although it was entertaining, we didn't really get to discuss it, but she kind of took over the conversation. So hopefully we'll get to that today. But first we want to talk to Christina Hutchinson of Guys We Fucked fame, and because a couple of weeks ago, Noam, you can introduce

it with the... So how did it start? So when Christina was on, she had a boyfriend. Yes. And we had an argument about male and female sexuality, and I was saying, you know, the troglodyte that I am, that men and women are different, and that the evidence was, like, you look at a back page or Craigslist, it's just ad and ad and ad for men to find

female prostitutes or gay men to find male prostitutes, whatever it is. But there seems to be no demand out there, believe me, supply and demand for women or marginal. She said, that's not true. Men and women are the same, blah, blah, blah. And I said, well, how about you go to a prostitute? And she said, I would, but I have a boyfriend. Then...

You thought that was a line, didn't you? Yes, I did. So then her boyfriend dropped her. Uh-huh. No, I dropped him. That's not what I heard. There's some debate about that. There's a little debate about that.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I was like, oh, no, no, I'll set that straight. I'll set that straight right now. It's like two days after I broke up with him. Yeah, so we had a show and we picked out a nice prostitute, like Tony Banderas looking prostitute.

Carlos. Can I ask, so when you say that men and women are the same and that there's how many male comedians are there compared to, I mean comedians, prostitutes compared to female prostitutes? I mean, those numbers can't be equal. There's definitely more female prostitutes.

Yeah. Was there like five guys that you could choose from? How many were there to choose from? Oh, no, there was like 12. 12. In this city. Yeah, we don't know if they all existed. Well, yeah, because Carlos was traveling for the summer.

Yeah, all these online profiles. So then, now if it had been Dan, and not only any prostitute, we're going to go to the Tiffany website of prostitutes, $1,000 and up prostitutes, Dan would have probably taken one that night. So just for the record, it took Christina like two months to follow through on this. Yes. Even if you subtract the days she had her period and didn't want to go through it. Well, that was a big day.

That was a big five days. So clearly, even though she talks a good game, that eagerness was not the male sexuality in play. A man would have literally like, how about tonight, right? But, God bless her, she did go through with it. And not only did she go through with it, but she ended up with a

strapping African-American fellow. Is that correct? That is. So when I called, I was going to ask for Carlos because I had picked him after looking at all of them on the website. I was told Carlos was traveling for the summer, so I felt on the spot. So I looked at everybody, and I'm like, well, this guy's the hottest. What was his name?

I think they gave me the name Justin, but then when he came over, he gave me a different name, which I'm assuming is his real name, which I won't disclose in case. Wait, you saw Justin's picture prior to Justin showing up? Right, but on the phone with the company. The woman answered the phone, and there was a baby crying in the background. That was Justin's baby. Yeah, maybe. It possibly was. And I was like, oh, girl, you can call me back later if you want.

It's okay. She's like, no, no, no, no, no. See, a man wouldn't do that either. A man would be like, can you quiet the baby down? I'm trying to get a hooker here, for God's sake. I know. I was very polite about it. But this gentleman was available, and I was very nervous. Do you remember his resume, by the way?

His resume? No, I don't. Was he anywhere near as good looking as Carlos? Yes, he was very good looking. Do you remember the name of the website? His resume? No, I don't. Was he anywhere near as good-looking as Carlos? Yes, he was very good-looking. Do you remember the name of the website? It's Cowboys for Angels. Can you look up Justin Cowboys for Angels? I believe it was Justin. If you bring up the website and the New York people,

I'll be able to pick them out of the lineup. So, you know, they get falsely accused. So, go ahead. Go ahead. So, what happened with... So, I got him for three hours. Jesus. Well, because I gotta get to know the person And maybe that's a female thing Another huge difference

You will go right into the fucking 100% if I know a hooker it's gonna be a problem Nate McIntosh have you had Sex in exchange for money No I haven't but if I was going to do it I don't want to know your real names I don't want to know oh I have this many No't want to know, oh, I have this many kids. No, no, no.

Come in. Dick hard. Let's do this and then leave. That's it. Dick hard. Wow. Yeah, I'm hard. You know what I mean?

Richard hard. Well, you seem very passionate for a man that's never done it. Yeah, but I'm saying if I was going to do it. If I did kill Nicole. If I killed Nicole, yes. You would never kill Nicole. You don't have it in you. No, and so I asked the woman on the phone,

like, what do people normally do with the escorts, they're called, because that's how they get around the legal loophole. And she goes, you can do whatever you want. Is that him? Oh, wait, no, that's not him. The other guy. Hold on. Oh, okay, yeah.

Okay, so his name was Justin. Justin. That's him. Can you click on Justin? He looked like that. He was gorgeous. I opened the door, so I had to Justin. That's him. Can you click on Justin? He looked like that. He was gorgeous. I opened the door, so I had to give $200 up front because I wasn't paying for sex.

I was paying for his companionship, as per the email. Should I read this now? We looked up Justin. Absolutely. Another hot male escort has joined the elite Cowboy Angels crew in New York City. Justin is a funny, intelligent, and caring hunk. True? Very true.

Who enjoys sharing an exciting night out in the city with a special someone. Which was me that night. This native New Yorker, tough guy, prides himself on his strong qualities

of loyalty and passion, making it easy for any woman to love spending quality alone time with him. Growing up amidst the rich culture of the Big Apple, in addition to being

a deep connection and respect, have paved a way for his ability to make any woman he spends... It just goes on and on. You don't have to read the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. It just goes on and on. Can we go to the one other difference here?

Again, if you're looking for a hooker, there's not going to be any of this. It's going to be like, tits, this, ass, this. She will suck your dick. Yeah. Yeah. That's really the question.

Guys don't need that. I mean, truly, I didn't need that bio either. I didn't even read it. Does he have the measurements? At the end, is it like six foot two? Do they have measurements on the chicks? Yeah. Really?

Women will put up like, you know. You know a lot about this. Hey, man, I shop around. You would think, you know. I window shop. I window shop. Never bought, apparently. Never buy.

That's what we said. So he walks in, and I was like, hey. And he's like, hey. I'm like, you're really cute. Was that a bar? No, he came to my house. Oh, my God. That's scary.

He must have been very excited to see you because I imagine most women that use this service are not as attractive as you are. I asked him. Well, I asked him. I said, how many times do you want to have sex with the person that you come over, like, are you nervous that you're not going to be attracted to them? And he said 80-20. 80% of the time he is attracted to them and they do have sex.

Yeah, so he came over and I told him I'd never done this before. I was fucking terrified. Were you trembling a little bit? A little bit, yeah. I don't think he could tell. And then, so we went, I got a recommendation for a bar from my friend who's a chef. And we went. I got us an Uber.

And we went, had three drinks. And I was like, do you like to smoke weed? And he's like, yeah. And so we went back to my place to smoke weed. He tried to teach me how to do a French inhale. And in trying to learn, I ended up smoking an entire joint. What was the conversation like at the bar? Slow down.

So I was asking him, how long has he been doing this? He said a couple years. Does he like it? He does, he has like a side job. Like real estate is his side job.

His main job. Yes, his main job. But I mean, he gets paid well. And, but I was asking, I was trying to get down

to like, is any, you know, were your parents cool? Like, was anything ever traumatic happening to you? And he goes, no, not really. I'm like, wow, that's nice.

I was trying to get some depth. Now, does he have his hands on you? Does he stroke you? We were sitting next to each other at the bar. And he had his hand on my leg the last half. And he was really hot. I was nervous that I was going to be not attracted to him once I got to know him. Because it takes a lot for me to be attracted to a person.

Yeah, I met your boyfriend. Go ahead. Well, again, another thing a guy would never say. I was nervous about not being attracted to him. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I would never say that. I did meet your boyfriend and I liked him. So that was just a joke that had nothing to do with him.

Oh, I don't care. I care. You felt bad about it, huh? Yeah, yeah. You felt the stung after you was just a joke that had nothing to do with him. Oh, I don't care. I care. You felt bad about it, huh? Yeah, yeah. You felt the stung after you said it? I didn't mean to hurt his feelings. I wasn't really meant about him. But go ahead.

He's fine. This was a big, hunky guy. You're probably used to dating more bookish intellectuals. Yes, I am. And so I got to say, it was nice walking around with that arm candy. That felt real good. Really? That was real fun.

That was like a wormy improv guy. Yeah, exactly. I've never dated an arm candy kind of guy. Or I've never been with an arm candy. That felt real good. That was real fun. It was like a wormy improv guy. Exactly. I've never dated an arm candy kind of guy. Or I've never been with an arm candy kind of guy. This was your first black lover, right? Yes, it was. Wow. Was that nervous? Did that make you nervous, too?

No. I talked about it on my podcast because I thought I was going to do the Cellar podcast a while ago, but it got bumped because stuff happened. And when I talked about it, I didn't mention the race of the person because I didn't think it really mattered. He was just hot. He's a hot guy. We were talking and I felt the conversation kind of like, okay,

well, I really got nothing else. We went back to my place, smoked weed. I asked him if he liked comedy. He said he loved Dave Chappelle. I put on one of Chappelle's Netflix specials Oh brother Why do you cater to this guy? He's supposed to cater to you

I know This is ridiculous I know that but Well then he started Massaging my feet And I was like You don't gotta do that It's okay

Oh really? Yeah And then I asked him I was like So How many times How often do you have sex With the person that

That calls you Or that spends time with you And he goes He said 8 out of 10 times And I said When you do have sex with the person that calls you or that spends time with you? And he goes, he said eight out of ten times. And I said, when you do have sex, how does it go? What does the woman say? Do you hit on her or does she hit on you? And she goes, I hit on her.

And I realized I was sitting all the way across the room from him in my living room, and I was like, I don't know why I'm very far away. Because he's like, yeah, you can get closer. You could sit next to me. I'm like, yeah, I could. And then, yeah. And then I took my pants off and he went to town.

Wait, you didn't make out with him? I don't... My friend asked me that. I don't think we did make out. We must have at the beginning, but then there was one point... You don't remember? I don't remember that part because that wasn't the part that stuck out at all. But you've got to remember the first kiss with somebody. I guess I did. I think I all. But you've got to remember the first kiss with somebody.

I guess I did. I think I did. I was nervous. I'm a window shopper. I've never been, right? But it almost seems like this is the exact same thing except you paid him instead of him paying you. But it's the same, like, you're still in the same position. I don't know if I'm going to do this. But he's like, I'll fuck you. I'll fuck you right now. Here I am. But he wasn't acting all desperate.

He wasn't acting any, like, desperately. No, no, but he didn't come in desperate He wasn't acting any Like desperately or anything No no but he didn't come in going We're just gonna hang out He's like I'm fucking this woman I'm not wasting my time Yeah so Wait you pulled off your pants

And your shirt was still on Yeah for a second Yes I mean you can't pull off Both at once Unless you're wearing one piece Right okay okay Fair enough

You know logistics Do you ask him to do things Are you like No I was like yeah You know whatever you wanna do I kinda went with the flow And then Doesn't the shirt usually

Come off first He brought Well the shirt usually come off first? He brought, well, he took his shirt off first. So when you say go to town, you mean oral sex? No, fingers. Fingers. And then all the clothes came off. So he had a condom that was in like a special case. You know how you have like cigarette cases?

Like a guy who shows up to a pool? Yeah, and I go, you are a pro. You are a pro. This is very exciting. Case for a pool cue, you know? Yeah, exactly. That's kind of what it felt like. It was retractable.

And then he... What kind of case was it? It was like a square. It looked like a square cigarette case, but it just had condoms in it. Oh, well, okay. I was going to ask how many there were, but there was more than one.

I think it had two in it. Two in them. What kind of condoms? going to ask how many there were, but there was more than one. I think it had two in it. Two in them. What kind of... What do the pros use? Trojan XX. I'm always interested in the equipment that the pros use, you know. The XL Trojan ones. What are they batting with over there? Yeah, yeah. XL. And then there was a point where he said, grab onto my neck. What does XL

stand for? Extra large. I thought so. Go ahead. Oh, you never bought XL now? Extra liberal. Extra liberal. And extra large. And then he goes, put your hands around? No. Extra liberal. Extra liberal. And extra large. And then he goes, put your hands around my neck. And I was like, okay. And then I'm sitting on the couch at this point.

He's hovering over me. And he goes, hold on. And he fucking picks me up. And then we have sex. And he does all the work. Wait, wait, wait. He's standing? He was standing.

He bent over. He goes, hold on to my neck. Grab on to my neck and hold on. And I was like, okay. And then he just walked around my living room and just bounced me. As it was happening, I said to him, this is great. This is wonderful, and you're very good at this. What were you trying to make this man soft the whole time?

This is great. This is a great experience. Do you choose when he comes or does he like, I'm going to come? Well, he never came. I did. And then I was tired. How did you come? With no fingers? Just from intercourse? Well, fingers and then intercourse. Because you told me you could not come just from intercourse.

I did. This is his first time. Yeah. I have when there's a vibrator involved. But that's not just from intercourse. Right. But this, yes. This guy was good at his job. And this is just the first time it occurred to you that this was the first time you would ever come just from intercourse when you told us on this podcast. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, I never thought about that. What is with women? I was so fucking nervous. I understand that, but you would think that's a momentous thing. Yeah, I guess. I have come from intercourse when there's a vibrator involved. I didn't think it was. I mean, it was a triumph.

Yeah, that isn't just intercourse. I feel like the biggest triumph was that I was fucking a hooker. I mean, that felt like the biggest triumph. But he didn't come. He didn't come at all. No, but I didn't. But I. So afterwards, when I was done.

You're wearing a condom. How could he come? That's true. You probably don't wear them. After. I grew up in the 70s, baby. Go ahead. Go ahead. That's the flower child. Pretty condom. Pretty seat belt. after I grew up in the 70s baby go ahead go ahead

that's the flower child pretty condom pretty seat belt I thought to myself you know normally at this point I'd feel obligated to blow them

but I was tired and I was like you could go obligated that's why you girls do that you're obligated of course

I also like the fact that right away okay because I'm assuming there'd be women that would think men are just treating hookers badly. This guy, you go, hey, man, thanks for making me cum.

Now get out. This is exactly the same type of thing. I know, but this is exactly what the reverse is. The man cums aren't seen well. Men and women are more similar. Well, he was being paid. Well, there was a moment before he left. That's his reward.

After I was good, he was on the couch and he started he was like massaging my foot again and then he started just licking my toes which no one's ever done before and I was like, oh, you got a foot fetish or he goes, no. I'm like, all right, you don't have to do that. I was like, you know, it felt weird.

It felt weird. And then I... How long from start to finish was this? Probably 25 minutes. 25 minutes of walking around your apartment bumping you up and down? Yeah. And how long from start to finish was this? Probably 25 minutes. 25 minutes of walking around your apartment, bumping you up and down? Yeah. And you can't blow them. That's a good workout. I mean, it's not that I couldn't. I just chose not to.

Just ridiculous. 25 minutes? Hey, I paid for that. Well, you paid for it. You never laid down on the bed or? No, didn't do the bed. Just the couch. Just 25 minutes walking around.

Mostly walking around, yeah. Doesn't that put a lot of pressure? To me, it's in great shape. Mostly walking around, yeah. Doesn't that put a lot of pressure? This man's in great shape. He's in phenomenal shape. And I was just so in awe that he was able to do that. No guy's ever done that. For 25 minutes? They don't offer that class at Equinox.

No, they do not. I can't lift my kid. They should, though. I can't lift my kid from my bed to his bed when I get home from work. Oh, no. You've got to go to the gym, man. I do. And I said, yeah, I kept saying, like, yeah, man, you're a pro.

You are very good at this. And I kept telling him he should teach a class because he's very good at sex. He probably was ready to come so many times. And then these weird things were being thrown at his head. I just kept complimenting him. He got uncomfortable. Just keep talking to me. Yeah.

He was probably like, shut up. But he couldn't say that because I was paying him. I'm going to come. I'm going to come. And you're like, you should teach a class. He's like, for fuck's sake, I was going to come. He hates school. No, he was probably like, shut up, but he couldn't say that because I was paying him. I'm going to come, I'm going to come, and you're like, you should teach a class. He's like, for fuck's sake, I was going to come. He hates school. No, he loves school.

You've had such a wonderful experience with this man. Is there any talk of seeing him again? No, I don't. He said at the end, he goes, if you ever wanted to request me again, I'd love to see you. And I was like, oh, that's nice, but I don't know if I would do it again. Well, why not? It sounds like you had the best sex of your life. It wasn't the best sex of my life.

Well, it was good in any case. It was emotionally very safe sex. Just because there was just nothing on the line. And that's the only time I've ever done that in my life. What if he offered you, he said, you know what? I had such a good time. I'm going to give you the next one for free. Here's my number.

Oh, 100%. You would call him again. Yeah. But he didn't have my number. He didn't have any of my info. Which I kind of liked. I liked that. So he, when he left, so he left.

And then I got a knock on my door 10 minutes later, and I realized that the envelope of money that I gave him fell out of his pocket while we were messing around, and it was underneath my couch. He goes, I left the envelope of money, and then we had to look for it for like five minutes. It was very awkward. And then he was like straightening up my pillows. I'm like, you don't have to do that.

It's okay. Don't worry about it. And yeah, and then he left. Man, I walked with a pep in my step for the next week. 25 minutes walking around the living room. It's a lot. It bugs me. It's a big living room. It bugs me. A very big living room.

He did a lot of laps. I feel bad that this man didn't come. I don't know him, but I mean, my God. I don't feel bad at all. I paid for it. I love this. I love that. That's the first time in my life that I didn't feel bad. It just goes to show that once you're paying for it, nobody gives a fuck. No one gives a fuck. And he was so nice about it.

You fuck him in the mouth. You throw him out your window. Nobody cares. Normally, if it was a guy that I wasn't paying, he probably would have been like, what the fuck? You're not going to blow me or something. And that actually did happen a week later with a guy. A guy says, what the fuck?

You're not going to blow me? Not what the fuck, but like, please blow me, baby. It's the only time. You know, like, I can only come if you blow me. I've heard that line a lot of times. I've never with a guy. A guy says, what the fuck, you're not going to blow me? Not what the fuck, but like, please blow me, baby. It's the only time, you know, like, I can only come if you blow me. I've heard that line a lot of times. I've never met that guy either.

It's not that brilliant. The cum is stuck inside. You have to get it out or I'll die. I would never use that phraseology, please blow me. Well, that's good. What would you say, Dan? May you blow me?

I would say, well, I just wouldn't use the term, please blow me. We get that, but what would you say, Dan? May you blow me? I would say, well, I just wouldn't use the term please blow me. We get that, but what would you say? No please? If you wanted a blowjob and you were naked with a girl, what would you say? I probably would say, could you suck it? Could you suck it? That's way worse now.

That's way worse. Dan, that's a lot worse. She would have been like, bye. Oh, Dan. Dan. Unless you were paying her. It all depends on the interaction. If we've been just talking dirty and being nasty the whole time.

And you didn't have sex. Yeah, but you're not owed a blowjob. I didn't say. I would never say. Unless we had established a certain dominating role play, then I would not order her to do anything. Oh, but a blowjob isn't dom or sub. No, I wouldn't order her to do anything. But a blowjob isn't dom or sub. No, I wouldn't order her to do something

unless I felt we had that vibe where we were talking that way to each other. Right, and you were more a dom person. We were just having that in that situation. In that context. I'm not here to judge. I just do what I do. It was

crazy for me, though, to say you could go, and he had that moment in his head, like, oh, you're not going to judge. I just do what I do. It was crazy for me, though, to say, like, okay, you could go. And he had that moment in his head, like, oh, you're not going to blow me. Oh, he did. I saw a flicker in his eye. According to Christine's interpretation of the moment, which could be erroneous. Well, there's no way he just leaves going, yeah, yeah, I'll keep this cum. Like, he wants to give her the cum. Nobody fucks not wanting to cum.

Am I wrong? Have you ever fucked and then not cum? Yes. How was it? It's terrible. Did you go jerk off in the bathroom afterwards? Yeah. So there you go. Yeah, I know, but I mean, he's an adult man for God's sake. He's working hard.

Yeah, but I didn't know him shit. You put $1,000 in my pocket. I'll happily go jerk off somewhere else. Yeah. I guess $1,000, yeah. That's the attitude he had and I was like, bless you. You are an amazing person. It was very empowering, I gotta yeah. That's the attitude he had, and I was like, bless you. You are an amazing person. It was very empowering, I got to say. I might do it again just because it felt so good.

It felt badass. Now, you call yourselves the anti-slut-shaming podcast. We've struck a blow today here on this podcast against slut-shaming, I think, and I hope. Why? How? Because we have empowered women's sexuality by highlighting Christina Hutchinson's taking her sexuality in hand and doing her thing and getting off on her terms

and having no apologies for it. Damn straight. But still at the same time, kind of demonstrating that men and women are not the same. Of course we're not the same. Because although you had this pleasant experience with a prostitute, you're not. I might do it again. You might do it. You might not.

I'm off dating now. I'm not dating anybody. There's two questions in regards to that. Number one, the fact is certain elements of your interaction would probably not occur with a male getting a prostitute. Certainly not. Three hours. I don't want three hours. Second question is, is Christina Hutchinson, does she represent the average female?

I think I do. So let me ask you this question. If I put $10,000 in a bank account somewhere and gave you an ATM card, but you could only use that money for sexual gratification. That sounds great. How long... I'd orchestrate a gangbang, probably. How long do you really get gangbanged?

Probably, yeah. Because that sounds great. You don't need any money to do that. Yes, but to get quality people, you do. I think you have that I hired, quality man. Why did it take you two months to go through? Because I was nervous and also I was sad with the breakup. Getting out of a seven-year relationship, that was rough.

That's when a man does go to a prostitute. I was sleeping with somebody at the time of those two months, and I felt very satisfied, and I didn't feel that. And the person I was sleeping with ended up thinking that was really hot, that I was going to do this. And so I was like, okay, yeah. No man would be moved by anything you're saying. I want to disagree with something Nate McIntosh.

What am I saying? Wait, no man would be moved by what? They wouldn't care if they were seeing someone else at the time. They wouldn't care if they felt calm. And you're right. They would go through that $10,000 in 10 days. I'd feel real weird about it. I would.

I wouldn't be able to have sex with a woman who was only there for money and I know that sounds strange. Really? I'd love to be the guy that could do it because that's where you get like, I don't think I could.

I'd love to. What do you need to have sex with somebody? Like, what do you need for you? An emotional connection? I can't just pay somebody and then they sit there and then I fuck them.

I know that sounds weird. It's kind of a hot part of it. Yeah, but you're, the man is, as stupid as it sounds, the man's still sort of in control in that situation. He's a giant man with huge legs. If he wanted to break you out,

he could fucking kill you right there in the room and then walk away. Go back to Cowboys and be like, I don't know what happened to her. I mean, I'm not that weak. I can stand a chance. I don't know. Having sex with a woman who doesn't want to be there,

I just, I don't know. He wanted to be there, but he acted like he wanted to be there, and maybe that was because that's his job. No, no, no, I'm not I don't know. I couldn't do it. He wanted to be there, but he acted like he wanted to be there, and maybe that was because he was, that's his job. No, no, no, I'm not talking about your situation. I'm saying, if I called, I'm assuming,

because the hooker that I would get. I think the hooker would act like she wanted to be there. Yeah, but I know the act. I don't want to, I don't want the act. You're funny. Suspension of disbelief, Nate.

Yeah, but I mean, I'm going to get like a hooker hooker, like giant ass, big tits, covered in oil. That woman's going to come in, and I'm going to be like, she doesn't want to be here. You know what I mean?

Oh, so you get in your head. I don't get in my head at all. Yeah, 100%. I have found it. Oh, see, I don't, yeah, I haveits, covered in oil. That woman's going to come in and I'm going to be like, she doesn't want to be here. You know what I mean? Oh, so you get in your head. I don't get in my head at all. Yeah, 100%. I have found it. Oh, see, I have very high self-esteem. I have found it unsatisfying in the few times I've done it. Pay for sex? Yes, with the exception of women that I know from regular life,

and this has only happened once. With a woman that I know from regular life who wanted to make some extra cash, and I found that. She goes, I'll fuck you, but you got to pay me? Well, no, she didn't quite say it that way. Suck it, damn it. And we didn't have sex. Well, you can come over here and suck this.

It was an oral sex situation. Suck it, damn it. For $500. No, it wasn't quite like that, but it was a woman I knew from regular life that wanted to make some extra money. And I thought that was... I do want to disagree with something

that Nate said a little bit earlier. He said that Christina doesn't need money to orchestrate a gangbang. Doesn't? No, I do. No, you don't. Say, for example... I'm not interested in orchestrating one for free. Define gangbang, because that sounds rapey.

Four or five guys. That's not rapey if it's what you want. Most guys have sex with you at the same time. Rape is non-consensual. This is weird. I forgot the word rape. How did rape get thrown around in here? Gangbang is usually used for a non-consensual thing This is weird. I thought of the word rape. How did rape get thrown around in here? No, gang bang is usually

used for a non-consensual thing. No, that's gang raped. No, gang bang is not non-consensual. Gang rape is non-consensual. But the point is that many men, myself included, don't want to have sex in the presence of other men.

So if Christina hypothetically wanted to orchestrate a gang bang with me involved in it, it would cost her money if she wanted other men in the room. Phew. Okay. How much money? $10,000.

You would suck all my budget out. I see I can't do that. That's an odd choice of words. But I don't want men that I know either in the room if possible. Sure, I get it. I would charge, Christina, like I charge my comedy clients. I would say,

what day of the week? Because weekends are more... I'm at the cellar on the weekend and I make money in other ways. And you probably want to do it at night because gangbang during the day, it's just like, keep it in the mood.

A coffee gangbang is very weird. Do I have to travel if I was in the area on a weekday and I liked the people I was working? See, I'm already very dry. Dan, can we go back to this real quick? So you have paid a woman to a prostitute, right? I have on several occasions, but not a ton, but enough. Was it nice?

No, but you said those experiences were not as good as with the person that you knew. They're not as good as with, they weren't very exciting because the person that I knew I felt actually was turned on by the experience. Yes, and that you knew. They're not as good as with, they're not, they weren't very exciting because the person that I knew I felt actually was turned on by the experience. Yes. And that's important. I could be wrong.

Yes. But the women that I paid straight out, I felt were just doing a job. That's what I'm, yeah. And that you can, I'm sure a lot of sex workers can give that vibe.

And if you're having a shitty day and you gotta go to work anyway, that's gotta suck. Also, I just thought it was exciting that a woman that's not a regular girl was doing this. That added a lot of titillation. What's interesting is that the way she did it, where you go out to a bar first and you get to know each other a little bit,

that little extra couple hours, I think that probably does drastically change the experience. Yeah, that acted as foreplay for me. I was supposed to just walk in and do it. In the business, they call that the girlfriend experience. You couldn't do that. Go straight into fucking? No. I'd have to be masturbating

for an hour up until he came. There's another difference between the male and female. You needed that. You need to be comfortable. There is a difference. I might need to take a hooker to a bar. I don't think I could. Do we have to have a beta male for this conversation? need to take a hooker to a bar. I don't think I could just, you know what I mean? I think I need to go right away.

Do we have to have a beta male for this conversation, Stephen? Can we get a real man to have? Have you ever hired a sex worker? No, no. Can I get a cappuccino, please? We'll just go to one movie, right? Buy groceries. And then a whole day, 10 a.m., we pick each other up, go to Costco, get some furniture.

Well, he did say That women will hire him To just run errands with him That's funny I'm like I get it He's so hot I get it Can somebody ask

The $64,000 question How big 64 Oh no But that's a good one Go ahead ask that one It was a great It was the perfect

Large dick I don't know What's the perfect Large dick in your estimation Biggest you've ever seen That's pretty big No because the one time I almost had a one night stand in my whole life, the guy's dick was way too...

It was just cartoonishly large. And I left. I was like, yeah, I gotta go. Oh, that poor guy. Yeah, poor him. But he probably has run into that a lot. I don't really feel bad for him. Why don't you feel bad for him? Because I didn't have any empathy for him that night. I get that. Why are you so mean? I'm not mean. I just didn't feel bad for him. Why don't you feel bad for him? Because I didn't have any empathy for him that night.

I get that. Why are you so mean? I'm not mean. I just didn't feel bad for him. Is it mean to not feel bad for somebody? Well, this guy never fucks except for fucking cars and horses. Maybe he doesn't want to.

Maybe. I mean, it's just an awful way to live. He fucks tires. Yeah, he fucks tires. Construction sites. Those concrete tunnels that they put on the ground. Now, Nathan, you were recently accused of being a beta male on this show in front of the American public. Oh, I guess I was.

Yeah, yeah. Right before he ordered a cappuccino. Wow. So, I mean, it evens out. It really evened out right there. That's cold. Do you have, without getting into exact figures, do you have a robust number of women? No, I was going to say a robust number of women

on your sheet, on your conquest list. I've been in a relationship for a thousand years, so I don't. I do not. She's the only one? There's a different scale

for redheads anyway. No, I'm not a psycho. I'm not going to date the first person I've ever had sex with for fuck's sake. I mean, good for you. Yeah, nor should you.

Those people are evil. They should be locked in cages. Those people have their head up their own ass and they don't know what they're doing. It should be illegal to marry the first person that you have sex with. I agree. I do think that. I don't good for you. Yeah, those people are evil. It should be locked in cages. Those people have their head up their own ass and they don't know what they're doing. It should be illegal to marry the first person that you have sex with. I agree.

I do think that. I don't agree with that. Noam, do you want to seg into Kavanaugh or into... I'm just saying we only have an hour, unfortunately, so there's a lot going on with that. I just want to make you aware that we're halfway through the podcast. Okay, our producer, Stephen,

he always looks at me and then expects me to read lips. I don't know what the hell he's saying. Well, I have a question. Yes. Actually, two quick questions for you. For me? Yeah, for you. Okay, our producer, Stephen, he always looks at me and then expects me to read lips. I don't know what the hell he's saying. Well, I have a question. Yes. Actually, two quick questions for you. So, number one. For me? Yeah, for you.

Ooh, I would. So, okay, number one, do you have any sort of moral problem with people using prostitutes? You're talking to Nate McIntosh? No, I'm talking to Noam Dorman. I, well, this is going to be a sexist answer.

I don't have any, I don't have any moral problem with the male prostitute. I do worry about the female prostitute being taken advantage of because she's in dire straits in her life. And that has and does currently happen. Do you want it to be legalized? I think it should be legal. It should be legal. Absolutely.

But even then, there is something. I mean, yeah, I do. And then, of course, the extreme is the sex trade. But even without that, you know, there's something. And then, you know, when you talk to, you hear prostitutes interviewing and stuff, the high rate of having traumatic childhood experiences, whatever it is, and it's just kind of like this is just a continuation of that trajectory. There's something that bothers me about it. What's the percentage of, did you look up a stat?

Yeah, 60 points. No, I don't know. I was like, yeah, you're full share, right? No, I've read these things. You've heard? I've seen interviews with prostitutes. I've read about them. We had a stripper on the show last week, and she was talking about these experiences. There's probably less female Justins than there are...

A hundred percent. Exactly. But who hasn't had a traumatic childhood? Well, that's interesting. Justin. He just told you, for God's sake. Justin is one person that hasn't. His life is amazing.

He had a good childhood. He's making $800 a night to pound a woman. But what is sexist about it is that it all presumes that allowing somebody to penetrate you for money is worth more, essentially, than a man who just goes and banks some girl. And we don't see that as something tragic like he's a real estate guy and he's on the side. Oh, cool, dude. You get some extra money, you know? Yeah, yeah. I knew a guy who was a male prostitute. And he was just like, yeah,

make some extra money. It was awesome. Well, that's also society's fucking double standard bullshit of like no one gives him shit for being a sex worker.

No, it's not a good shit. Maybe it's maybe double standard. Maybe it's in our in our DNA. I don't know. I just related to that.

So second question, would your reaction be any different if your son came home and told you that he got a prostitute versus your daughter? Here we go. My daughter had the nerve to come home

and tell me she got a prostitute. Why would she tell you? She'd tell her mom. Did you tell your mom? She'd probably tell no one. No, I didn't tell... No. She probably would not tell anybody. She'd probably tell her friends. No one has made it clear many times on this program that my daughter shall never have sex. His daughter... friends. Noam has made it clear many times on this program that his daughter

does not accept his daughter as a potentially sexual being. No dad does though, right? My dad didn't give a shit. But he didn't look at you as a sexual He wasn't like, get out there and fuck. No, because he didn't do that to my brother either.

But he was like, you know, fucking be safe. That's all he said. He said the exact same thing to my brother. But you have a tighter hold on mentally, on your daughter being a sexual person. No, rationally, I understand. She's a human being. Why is that? I'm not a crazy person.

She's a human being and she's also Hispanic. You know, there's something else. That doesn't matter, but okay. I don't know what that means, Dan, but she happens to be Jewish, too. What does that mean? Well, they have a certain, shall we say, joie de vivre. You got to protect your daughter from him. Jesus Christ, Dan.

I think that's racist. Don't invite Dan to your kid's 18th birthday party. But, you know, when you have a daughter, first of all, there's such a purity of childhood before they have any concept of sexuality or sex at all. And it's just tragic, I think, for the whole human race that that ever ends. But you see, it's more tragic for you when it ends for your daughter, not your son. Well, listen, women on the whole have a lot more emotional scars from various sexual experiences.

Just how we get treated in life. Yeah, I mean, it is the beginning of an aspect of the world which is going to be bittersweet for her very likely. Where that's not the case for men. For men, this is just like awesome, and it stays awesome,

unless you find yourself in some ridiculous situation. She's going to get people to her on the street as she walks. Yeah, but just whatever. You know, women, you're going to have bad sexual experiences, rough sexual experiences, sexual experiences. But as a man, have you ever had a bad sexual experience? Nothing that didn't roll right off my back. Yeah, because you're, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're like, she's going to a bad sexual experience? Nothing that didn't roll right off my back.

But she's going to have somebody who she thought cared about her, who didn't actually care about her. All these kinds of things. I don't want my daughter to ever suffer from these things. But I don't know. I don't know. What about your son? He could suffer?

I'm saying not in the same way. Not in the same way. Yeah. Not in the same way. Yeah. I think, though, I mean, obviously there are way fewer male victims of sexual assault, but there are a lot. And I feel like if it happens to a male, they're less encouraged to talk about it than a female. I don't just mean outright sexual criminal assault. Right.

I just mean the normal everyday guys are creeps. Head games and stuff. Yeah, head games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. mean the normal everyday guys are creeps. Head games. I mean, I've had, we've all probably had women just start crying during sex. Really? Yeah, very emotional. Wait, have you all had a woman cry during

sex for you? That's never happened for me. Not like during sex, but I have had a woman cry. Cry after sex? No, not after. No, not after. You know, whatever. In intimate moments, somebody remembers something and their fucking boyfriend did a goddamn thing. And then, you know what I mean?

And they cry? I've seen people get upset. I've seen women get extremely emotional. I've seen people get upset. A woman's also punched my dick one time, too. That did happen. Punched your dick? Punched it.

Hard or soft? It wasn't good. And then she said, do you have a condom? No, it was your dick hard or soft. It was your dick hard or soft. Oh, my dick was rock hard, madam. Yeah, rock hard. And she fucking just hit it. Why? And then she said, do you have a condom? No, it was your dick hard or soft. It was your dick hard or soft. Oh, my dick was rock hard, madam. Yeah, rock hard. Yeah.

And she fucking like just hit it. Why? And she's like, do you have a condom? I guess that was one of her moves. Like, hey, champ, let's fuck. That was one of her. Yeah, she punched it and said, do you have a condom? And I was like, we can't do this.

And she left. In a huff. She might have not been a straight woman. She was a straight woman who's a psycho. You know, there's a lot of women, too, that have no idea what the fuck's going on in a bedroom as well. You know, like a lot of women have no the fuck idea what the fuck's going on in a bedroom as well, you know? Like, a lot of women have no the fuck idea what the fuck's going on in there.

Right, but that's not a psycho, though. A psycho is... I call you a psycho. If you don't know how to work a dick, you're a psycho. I know how to work a dick. No, you're a psycho. If you don't know how to jerk a dick, you're a psycho. You should walk into the woods and never talk to anybody again. But now you're an alpha male.

Where's my cappuccino? If you don't know how to jerk a dick up and down. I'm not emasculated from it. No, no, no. Oh, funny. If you don't know how to jerk a dick up and down, you should walk into the woods and never talk to anybody again. It's not that hard to do. Am I wrong?

It's not a hard thing to do. I'm not touching this. No, don't. I know what you're going to say. No, no, no. So I'm thinking of if men don't know how to work a vagina, which most men don't. That's different. Because the dick is right.

The instructions are right there on the fucking dick. It doesn't have to do anything. Up, down, move away. Put your mouth on it or don't and leave. The vagina's inside. Everything's in there. You don't have to go into a dick. You don't have to go into a dick, so I'm saying.

You don't have to go into a vagina. It's called a clit. It's called a clit, Nate. But that's not obvious. How is that not obvious? Go online. Google something. What about the 90s, bro?

How would I know what to do with a dick? Steve Jobs. When they designed the iPad, he says, like, there should be no instruction manual. It should be totally obvious. Yes. The penis is the perfect nature, perfect iPad, okay? You don't need to know anything. Exactly.

Wow, that's why you guys are all high and mighty, huh? Because you're like, the blue bird's right on the dick. The vagina needs a manual. Exactly. It's not exactly self-instructive. No, I mean,

that's a good analogy, right? I have been with men who truly are atrocious Of working around a vagina And that You should go in the fucking woods And not come out To know what the fuck you're doing

That's what I'm saying That's why I was trying to figure out How I felt about what you were saying Because how I feel about men Who truly just They don't even bother to learn Bothering to learn is a different thing And that's a little

And I take pride with How I can Do what I can do with a penis If you give him $800 He'll pay attention I will But you never do what I can do with a penis. If you give him $800, he'll pay attention. But you never not knew what to do with a dick, right? There was never a time when you were like, what is this? The first time when I was 15, I didn't really know. I thought a blowjob was going.

I mean, that might be true. I was 14 the first time I got blown, and it was just a lot of licking. Yeah. Like a lollipop. But you were like, okay. I was like, weird. First of all, even just the blowing is not that bad.

It's not. We will not. I'll deal with that. It's a party. Not be so upset. That's what's so annoying about men. A fucking breeze could go by and you get a fucking erection.

Well, if a woman's holding your dick and blowing on it, yeah, I'm hard. That's really not that bad. I really admire how easy it is for you. I think that's amazing. But here's the other thing, and this is a tried observation.

I hope it never goes away. This is a tried observation, but the fact is that what worked on one woman doesn't work on the next woman, doesn this is a tried observation. I hope it never goes away. This is a tried observation, but the fact is that what worked on one woman doesn't work on the next woman, doesn't work on the next woman, doesn't work on the next woman. That's true,

but some guys don't like getting blown. What? So then you jerk it. I've met a bunch of them. But also, no one's going to jerk a guy off the way he jerks him off. I hate to say it,

but if you've met a fair amount of guys who don't like getting blown, with all due respect, you might be doing a poor job of it. Can we ask Diva why he doesn't like getting blown. With all due respect, you might be doing a poor job of it. Can we ask David why he doesn't like to get blown? Hey, thank you.

Why do you not like it? Sometimes you don't like it. Because there are so many people who are just not good at it. They suck at it. So what does it mean

when a girl sucks at blowing you, what about it sucks? Why does that have to be a girl? I'm sorry. If a man is blowing you, why does it suck when it does suck? If be a girl? I'm sorry. If a man is blowing you, why does it suck when it does suck?

If it's toothy. It's usually too much teeth. That I would think is obvious. Don't use your fucking teeth. Okay, now we're in obvious territory. Now we're back to obvious territory. I was trying to discover how I felt in a visceral reaction to what you said, but I knew that I didn't really think that visceral reaction

isn't actually how I feel. You don't grab too hard. You don't bite it hard like a psycho. You know what I mean? But you've got to twist. You've got to use lube. You don't have to twist. You don't have to use lube. I mean, it's better if you know tricks.

Maybe he wants to come on. No, I don't want to talk about it twice. What? I'm just making one more last call for Kavanaugh, and I won't say it again. What do you want to talk about Kavanaugh? You guys have opinions on Kavanaugh? Dan, you must have opinions. You don't want to talk about something unless you have something to say.

Explosive, obviously. Now, tomorrow, is Ford testifying tomorrow? This is Wednesday night that we're recording this. But today, young lady... No, Thursday she testified. Friday. They changed it? I think so.

She's supposed to testify on Thursday, and they're supposed to vote on Friday. It's Friday. They changed it? I think so. She's supposed to testify on Thursday, and they're supposed to vote on Friday. But an explosive new development came out just today that this young lady named Julie Sweatman claims that she witnessed gang rape taking place at several parties, that Kavanaugh was at those parties, and furthermore, she witnessed Kavanaugh waiting in line. Wow. Waiting in line to have sex with a woman. With a ticket? Did they give you a ticket for that? I don't believe so. Yeah, like the deli at waiting in line. Wow. Waiting in line to have sex with a woman. With a ticket? Did they give you a ticket for that?

I don't believe so. Yeah, like the deli at the grocery store. Yeah, exactly. To have sex with a young lady in a room at a party. And this was non-consensual. And this was my, well, she claimed to, first of all, if a line of guys are waiting to have sex with a woman, it's not likely consensual, obviously. Unless she paid all the men, which obviously wasn't the case.

Yes. Thank you. It probably was not the case. But this was Michael Avenatti's client. You know Michael Avenatti from the Stormy Daniels. He's Stormy Daniels' lawyer. But anyway. So, the question is, now Noam has been, thus far, up until now, an advocate of, we want

due process. We want to hear all sides, and we want, I don't know what standard of proof Noam was advocating, but we want some standard of proof before we dispose of Kavanaugh. I don't know if these new allegations have changed your mind, Noam, or if they do anything to your initial opinion? Well, yeah, each new allegation makes it look more likely that he's done something. I would say already, I think it's pretty clear that he's lying when he describes his choir boy going to church on Sunday childhood so if you want to use

that that probably is grounds to to not confirm him as these other allegations you know you one just wishes that that there was something which each one of them seems to be like designed by a clever

law school professor as a hypothetical so you could so you could come on either side of them. Reconstructed memories, can't remember. This is not the kind of stuff that makes anybody feel, okay, I'm sure that I... Like, she's going to parties where there's a lot of... Where it's common that men are gangbanging women. Raping. Gang raping. I've never been in one. What do you mean?

That's what they describe. These parties were known for this. So I saw somebody online ask a question like, well, why would you keep going to a party? And I'm like, I don't know. Because if you were sexually assaulted and you feel the need to take back your power, you probably want to feel in some control of a situation any way you know how. And at that time when she was raped,

no one was talking about sexual assault. No, but yes, you could be right, but most, I believe... I know a lot of rape victims who have gone out with their rapist afterwards. Not immediately, but in the future, yeah. Alright, so maybe you're right. In an attempt to regain control.

So, but... I feel like I know a lot. But that's a discussion that should be had. That's why I say it's a good hypothetical because that's one answer. But it's also, someone else could say, well, yeah, if these parties were known that everybody's getting raped and drinks being spiked, maybe people wouldn't go. Or maybe more people, like if I went to parties like this in high school, and I knew about this, and this was in the news now, I would call up the paper and say,

no, this is true, those parties were real. It's weird that... But if you call, I mean, can you remain anonymous if you call and you request that? I wouldn't want to remain anonymous. There would have to be some men that knew about a rape party who were not cool with a rape party. Yeah, so it sounds like you have to assume that it's such... Yeah, but coming forward is admitting that you were cool with it for a second. There's such a horrible comment on the human race, if this is all true,

that this number of people presumably know about this and are ready to keep quiet about it. The most horrible. That doesn't shock me at all. But I come from a position where I hear, I get very at length, very detailed recollections of people's rapes in my email. I am Jewish. I don't know how the Goyim behave. I'm just saying from my point of view, this is, this is, it's so disturbing. Like I started to say, it's like the scene of Rosemary's Baby.

Josie Rosemary's Baby? Yes. Where they're all actually part of the Devil Wars and they rape her. It's like, it's so fucking horrifying. Yeah. But I wish that in these situations, though. But I'm not saying I don't believe it at all.

I'm not saying that at all. But I wish that mostly men would just listen and just take everything in instead of... No, no. I totally reject that. We are not going to have a special standard for one single crime

coming out of one single mouth. That's insanity. What do you mean, one single mouth? In other words, we have to treat this accusation of a crime... Right.

I understand that. That doesn't mean you can't ask the woman questions. Like a crime. Period. End of story. But the burden of proof for sexual assault is... On the woman who claims it.

And that is the unfortunate fact. Look, I would say this anyway, but the fact is we've had prominent... You can't say anything... I think most people, the overwhelming majority of anybody who claims that somebody victimized them in some way are telling the truth. And that applies to sexual assault as well.

Nevertheless, we have had very, very prominent cases like in Duke or University of Virginia or Tawana Brawley, and I've known one where it wasn't true. Right. So you have to treat it. Three to ten percent. Yeah. But that's the same as a robbery. That's right. That's my point. That's the same as a robbery. That's right. That's my point.

That's the same exact false reporting stat. So I wouldn't bring into the discussion the nature of the crime. I think we should treat it like a crime. When people say, men should listen to what you're doing, it's saying, no, no, this is different. You have to treat, now this is a special standard. And then the problem with that is that it creates a moral hazard. Right, I see what you're saying.

Because once an evil person realizes, ah, they're actually, as long as I say it, they won't even ask me tough questions, then people who are inclined to really do horrible things, the Tawana Brawleys of the world, then they will really come out. Right, right, right. I think I'm more reacting to, I've been following a lot of Republican politicians on Twitter that truly can't get their head around why a person wouldn't say anything sooner. Oh, that's disgusting when they say that. I'm like, fuck you. Well, Trump said that. A lot of people.

Listen, Donald, don't help. Lindsey Graham had a very long thread about it. I'm like, dude, come on. No, no, Lindsey Graham didn't. Well, maybe I didn't read it, but I thought Lindsey Graham was. I read it on the Cabway here. He just tweeted it. I thought they twisted it a little bit against him,

but Trump was just atrocious on this. Just fucking atrocious. And he's setting a shit example for the way these things are handled. We totally know that people don't come forward. Okay. Hey. Turn Kevin's headphones down. So Kevin Brennan is here.

Kevin Brennan was just the subject of a Forbes know. Kevin Brennan was just the subject of a Forbes magazine article. Burning Bridges. It's about time, right? It's about time. Burning Bridges is... It would be Burning Bridges for you. How to make money from Burning Bridges. How to run a business. How to run a business from Burning Bridges. So what's it like to be the talk of the town, Kevin?

It's amazing. Thanks for having me on. What do you think about Kavanaugh? Kavanaugh? I think he did what a lot of people did in the 70s and 80s. We partied. Raped? Raped. We did a little mis- No, I don't know.

Listen. I don't even- I didn't keep a sex diary when I was in my high school and college years. I don't even know how this guy had a fucking diary. You know what I mean? He was like, I'll show you my diary and what I did that week. Who fucking did that? You know what I mean? He keeps a, I'll show you my diary and what I did that week. Like, who fucking did that? You know what I mean? He keeps a calendar?

He had a calendar that had... Like, did you? Do you have calendars? I know a girl who had that. I know a girl who did that. I had a girlfriend one time. She kept a calendar. Like, she had diary after diary. She had a little code. It's fun to look back as you progress, you know? From high school and college.

The whole thing seems a little... If you had to vote, if you were a senator, God forbid, would you vote to confirm him or not? I'd vote to... I don't know. If I was... If I had a lot of bitches sending me emails... No, I'm just kidding. I burn bridges. Tough room?

You do, you do. I burn bridges. No, I just had some phlegm in my throat. No, but I think at this point, it doesn't look good for him. I mean, even if he becomes like... It's true. Even if he gets passed, he's going to be like... It's like Judge...

What's his name? Thomas. Much worse. Much worse. No, but this guy's like forever. He's known for that. He's not known for anything but that. Nobody knows what he did on Supreme Court.

So he's known for what he did with the fucking Coke can. And he's going to be known for what he did in high school. Do we want the Supreme Court tainted by this kind of scandal, I think, is what Kevin is getting at. Can't they find anybody who doesn't do this shit? Like, they couldn't find... There's not a white dude that didn't fucking rape? That Trump knows? I don't know.

No, no, that's not fair. Trump didn't even know this guy. Like, they can't find a fucking jurist that hasn't raped or fucking pillaged? A bus driver? He can't just get a regular human being to do this job? Like, hey, did you rape anybody in high school or college? Should be the first question now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, he wouldn't know this would come up? Like, I wouldn't run for, I wouldn't let myself be nominated because I know I got some fucking skeletons. By the way, that's an argument people make that Kavanaugh didn't do it because they said, well, he knew that this would be investigated. How many people have run for something and have done terrible things?

Yeah, well, I'm just saying that's an argument I've heard. That he shouldn't have ran? That he probably didn't do it because he had to have known that things would come up if he put himself in this situation. If I was guilty,

I would do the thing that people wouldn't think I would do because I was guilty. Double reverse psychology. Exactly. What I think Kavanaugh ought to do, because I think everybody's correct here, I think if I were him

and I was innocent, but a patriot, I would go to the hearing, I would clear my name as best I can, and then I would resign for the good of the court. I would go to the hearing I would clear my name as best I can and then I would resign for the good of the court I would say

fuck all of you I would say suck my big black dick and then walk off I'd say if I was innocent I'd say you don't deserve me

as a Supreme Court judge you can all fuck yourselves I'd probably be pretty defensive if I was innocent too it's not good for the institution and the mob is real and we do not good for the institution and the mob is real

and we do need credibility for the court. And like my father used to say, don't burn down a house, get rid of the cockroaches. That's a solid quote. Yeah, it is not best for the country for him to be on the court, even if he's innocent.

But I hate that we have pressure to give up our principles and procedures. I don't want that to happen. So if I try to split the difference, I think he should insist on the principles and then he should step down. This is not good for the court.

He can't step down. It's too late to step down. I feel like his pride's in the way and he won't even though he knows he should. I don't think he will either, but he should. He should. He's not one of those good politicians that would do that. I don't presume he'd be innocent. How great a job is Supreme Court justice anyway?

I guess it's prestigious. It's the most prestigious job. It's a job for life. Aren't we the only country who appoints lifetime appointees for Supreme Court? I would take it for the health care. It's like hosting the Tonight Show for a comedian. It's like, you know, it's like this is... You do it until you don't want to anymore.

I don't know if it pays that well, and then you can't do other shit. No, it pays well. Like hosting the Tonight Show. Doesn't it pay like $250,000? $250,000 a year? Which isn't that much. It's okay. But then you can do speaking, you can get extra money.

Maybe that's why Kavanaugh's not giving up. But then you can do speaking. You can get extra money. Can you speak? Maybe that's why Kavanaugh's not giving up. He really wants those speaking engagements. Can you speak while you're on the Supreme Court? Yes. You can, yeah.

Yeah, Ruth has. Oh, I didn't know that. So I guess you can make some extra coin. It's not about the money. That is the high... If you're an intellectual... If you're a lawyer

with an intellectual band and you're a judge, this is the highest achievement of your life. It's a good gig. It's a great gig. That's what I say. The Tonight Show for comedians. Except better.

The Tonight Show, you can get fired. Ask Conan O'Brien. Oh, yeah. Is he the only one fired? As far as I'm concerned, I think they could just flip a coin on the Supreme Court. Country probably wouldn't be any better or worse. But they're just making shit up anyway. Well, he's just going to replace that guy, if he does, with somebody who's going to vote the same way.

Well, no. He's replacing Kennedy. And Kennedy voted for gay marriage and stuff. If Kavanaugh were on the court, they probably would not have approved the gay marriage. When they do the hearing as a goof, he should just wear a white hood just as a goof. LOL. Oh, no one's got a sense of humor anymore.

We can't joke in here anymore? We can't have a good time? So it was a pretty good interview in Forbes, by the way. Did you read Kevin's interview in Forbes? I think I read it at Skim. You were mean to Lenny. Can you stop being mean to Lenny, a quote in there. I think I read it. Skim. You were mean to Lenny. Can you stop being mean to Lenny, please? He's burning bridges.

Making money. He said I moved on without him. He quit. Just for the record, he quit. I don't want to fire anybody. Everybody quits. Do you drive them to quit, though? A little bit.

Because you're too much of a pussy to fire them? No, it's just part of the show. It's like a burning Bridges kind of show. People quit and they get mad or whatever. I never fire anybody. How did that Forbes article come about? He always wanted to interview me and then he was working at the

Chicago Tribune, but I know nobody reads the Chicago Tribune. Then he was like, I'm doing it. Then he did a Forbes interview. He said he now works for Forbes and then he wanted to ask me about Jim Norton. So it's kind of a cross-interview thing. What did he ask you about Jim Norton? Because he was doing an article about Jim Norton and their contract.

So he asked me some questions about that. And then he asked me my own stuff. But I guess he was a fan of Miserlo's company. So he's been hanging out. You guys got into trouble, right? Did you already talk about that? Oh, what happened with you? You don't even know?

With the guys we talked? I think we're running out of time. That was a bigger story than my Forbes article. Unfortunately, your Forbes article deserved more attention. I don't want to talk about it. Christina, you guys said something about black men or something. Yeah, Corinna made comments about the type of black guys that like her back in 2014. We had received emails from a few listeners who were disappointed with the way that we kind of blew it off and the way we talked.

Oh, because you like a guy with a hood kind of vibe or something. I think the exact quote that Corinnaza was a thug black guy. So in other words, Jordan Carlos need not apply. Yeah. Correct. Or Justin. I mean, he was pretty straight-laced. Yeah, Justin doesn't apply either.

I don't use that vernacular, so I don't know. But a blogger had tweeted me on a Monday night about it. She isolated the clip, and she was very angry and I was getting bombarded on Twitter. And I tried to very, as kindly as I could, explain. I understand. I was being very PC about it. I was like, I understand. I can't imagine how disappointed you were

when you heard that. I'm really sorry. We did address this because it was back in 2014. Is it the word thug or just the sentiment? A white person should not be talking about how black a black person can be. That's not our business. I thought you were talking about what kind of personality she was attracted to. Yeah, or what kind of guys are attracted to her.

But it's like, you know. Well, somebody says I'm like a nerdy Jewish guy. I can't speak for Chris. But why did it come up now? Why did it come up now? Because this British blogger seemed to want to bring it up and not listen to me. She dug for the part where we said it, but she didn't dig for the part where we addressed it and apologized about it and talked about it. So, yeah, the news picked it up.

So, can we all, like, one by one, we all begin to agree that even if people say the wrong thing. How do you know you're saying the wrong thing unless you fucking say it? Yeah, that's right. We have to stop trying to end people's fucking careers and lives. I mean. Every single thing this fucking mob on Twitter can identify that somebody said wrong. There's no middle ground, though. There's no middle ground.

Who wants to live this way? I would love a world where I could say, yeah, the type of words that we're using were insensitive, but we've moved on from that. We've already addressed it. The show's called Guys We Fucked. So it's like, I mean, come on, man. I mean, you shouldn't go there for your politically correct way. Was the person who complained black?

Yeah. Because I would say, I don't want to get in trouble, but if you describe somebody black as a thug, that's insensitive. Yes, I agree. But it doesn't sound like she was using it that way. She was using it in the way that she hears it. I think any way a white person uses it is insensitive in this day and age. Black women can say a guy's

thug, right, and it's fine? But see, you hear songs like Thug Life and this and that, you hear it used to describe a certain vibe. So my thing on race issues, though, what's the word she should have used? I don't know. I can't give you that answer because I'm a white person.

My feelings don't matter in that. But anybody who wants to say that you said something wrong, they do have the obligation to say, this is how you could have expressed it. Right. Is that unreasonable? It seemed like a, only a cry for attention from her part,

because if she actually wanted to have a conversation about it, she would have reached out to us privately. I don't think she did. Obviously the intention wasn't racist, was it? No. She's like a left wing... Of course not. But the thing is if we say something... Look, if I say

something that's... If I or Corinne say something that's racially insensitive and a black person comes to me and says, I was really fucking disappointed with the way you talked about that, I'm going to listen. Of course, you should. I don't think it's weak to apologize. I don't think it's weak

to listen. I think that that is important to me personally. There's a lot of people that, there's a lot of women who would say that most men are evil, right? Men should be fucking

eradicated and killed. There's some women. I mean, and that's bullshit. On Twitter, for sure. On Twitter it is true. Oh, on Twitter, there's a bunch of them. When you come across somebody that says

all men should be killed, you should say, yes, except for Justin, who fucked me for 25 minutes. He didn't even come. He didn't even wince when I said you can go. He did not even come and he left my apartment and I never heard from him again. They should replace those

Confederate statues with a statue of Justin. Yes, Robert E. Justin. This guy's a hero. He's a wonderful man. So anyway, I mean, listen, I think you should apologize if you said something wrong. On the other hand, I think more people should be willing to. We already fucking did, though. I think more people should be willing to.

I think that every time somebody does apologize, when they know they're just saying it because they have to, it's kind of blood in the water that encourages more people to put more people up against the wall. Even if you mean it sincerely, though, you're still going to get it. And there's something better about saying, listen, I understand how you feel, and this is why I thought what I said was okay. Right. No one wants to listen, though, on the internet. Yeah, that's right. No one wants to listen on the internet.

They just want to yell. Get off Twitter. They'll dig for the clip where you said it. Oh, I have on the Internet. Yeah, that's right. No one wants to listen on the Internet. They just want to yell. Get off Twitter. They'll dig for the clip where you said it. Oh, I have. Get off Twitter. Yeah, and I encourage that woman to as well. Kevin, you live on Twitter. Yeah, I do.

Kevin is great at Twitter. But you're a bomb door. I just moved in. I love your tweets. I just moved in. Anyway, and I love it. Yeah, you throw bombs, but it's great. No, but it's like, listen, I don't, I'm not even, I just try to, I don't do politics,

but it's just like, it just seems like people, the only thing that gets me mad is that as a white man, is that, you know, like black people can do whatever they want. That's not true. Judge and jury. Judge and jury. Judge and jury. You're like, what, like,

like, like if you said, what's the, what's the equivalent of, of thug life for, for like a white dude? I mean,

black people can say whatever they want about white people and we have to go, uh-huh. But if you look about everyday life though, black people cannot

because they're getting unjustly punished for shit. And that's why I was like, you know, listen, when somebody fucking. To answer your question, the equivalent insult would be frat boy entitled. Redneck. Or redneck. Listen, it's a total, in my opinion, it's a total double standard. It's a double standard.

But can it be a double standard, though, if white people never get punished in the way by society or by the law unjustly that black people do? Listen, it's a mess because I mean I say bad words on my show just because they say you can't say them. Well, that's your job as a comic. No, no, no. I say words people go like, oh, that's wrong. Because it's like you can't – if it's in a rap song, then nobody can say it except. You're talking about the N-word? Yeah.

You can't say the N-word. You can't say that. No, I do it. But if it's in a rap, listen to my show. You shouldn't. But if it's in a rap song, who can say it? The record company executives, they know who's buying rap music. White kids.

Yeah, they know who's going to want to say it. It's a rule that I will gladly play along with, though. I don't care. So these girls get into trouble? These girls get into trouble? Is that about my N-word? Kevin's tweet, Cosby still has a better chance of getting a Netflix special than I do. That's probably true, Kevin.

That's totally true. That's a great tweet. I'm going to retweet that. No, but anyway, so they know what's going on, and then they basically bait these kids into saying the N-word, and they get into trouble, and it's in a fucking lyric, so it's just ridiculous. I just, I have no

I'm just saying, they know what they're doing. They're not innocent. They're not innocent. It's just ridiculous that you can, that there's like this double standard, like, we have to apologize for everything that you ever fucking say, and it's fucking ridiculous. Kevin, just don't say the N-word. Just don't say the N-word. It's not this double standard. We have to apologize for everything that you ever fucking say. And it's fucking ridiculous. Kevin, just don't say the N-word.

Just don't say the N-word. It's not that hard. No, I'm going to. It's easy. It's one rule. I gladly don't say it. Bill Maher couldn't even obey. There's one rule.

One rule. Who can't say it? Who can say it? Black people. Black people. And sometimes Puerto Ricans. Sometimes Puerto Ricans. Just not white people.

What if you're half black? Yes. Yes, of course you could say it. And what if you're Puerto Rican? Sometimes Puerto Rican. Just not white people. What if you're half black? Yes. Yes, of course you could say that. And what if you're Puerto Rican? Oh, yeah, you get a pass. If you come from like Bushwick or something, you can get away with it, yeah. Okay, no, they're not getting away with it. Asian kids, everyone's saying it, except for white dudes.

Asian kids do say it. That makes me feel weird. Except for white people. So, like, we're saying it like we want. But I'm okay not saying it. I'm not. So we want to jump in a pool, too. And they're like, you can't swim because, you know.

Why do you want to say it so bad? Just because I can't. I understand the resentment. It's not resentment. It's just idiocy that they put out these records. You don't want to call somebody it. You don't want to call somebody the N-word. What do you mean?

You won't be able to use it in a conversation, use a song lyric, whatever it is Describe it You don't want to actually call somebody No I'm not quoting song lyrics When I say it Well give us a sentence That you would like to say

That you can't Good one Hey I was at No no no no My heart's beating like yours did When you met the prostitute I'm nervous No I would never say it

I'm kidding The whole thing's a joke I would never say it Yeah alright So You really would get in trouble though right Even if I didn't say it You could'm kidding. The whole thing's a joke. I would never say it. Yeah, all right. You really would get in trouble, though, right? Even if I didn't say it. You could get in trouble just for what you said now.

Wow, I didn't even say it. It doesn't matter. You applied it. So you can't apply it either. You're pointing at all our heads and the listeners' heads. I guess that's my point. So Kanye West can say it. Yes, because he's black.

But then they take it out of the song. They still know he's saying it. And it's still okay. Like, all I did was, I didn't even say it. And you guys are like, it's bad. It's not bad. How does society suppress you in any way? Because you're a white guy? And that's why you can't say it.

No, it's just, it's idiocy. It's just idiocy. And in this climate of, like, political correctness, it's mind-boggling. Yeah, but that word is not, it's not even a political correct thing. But then you donboggling. That word is not even a political correct thing. No, but don't use it in songs is my point. Don't use it in songs. Don't put it out there because people quote... I don't listen to songs, but all the kids

are listening, and they quote the songs they fucking hear. Is that right? You used to listen to music, and you would quote the fucking lyrics. A football disclaimer for this episode. I'm a gigantic Beyonce fan, and then she said the N-word in her songs. When I go to her concert, I don't say that word when I'm singing out loud in the song. How about when you sing Home Alone?

Just you alone singing the song. I have before. Alone in the song. To myself. That's bad. That is terrible. It is. I'm sorry I know you.

So you say the N-word at home in a song? A few times if I'm singing alone by myself. I mean, I'm not. But I don't say it to another person or out loud to people because that's wrong. I listen to a ton of rap music. I don't say it. Home alone, shower, car alone. I don't.

Personally, I don't. I have said it. I don't even listen to rap music. I'm not drinking any chances. But it's not, you know, I don't do it now. What do you mean you don't do it now? Well, you don't do it now?

Even by myself. That's how scarred I've been by the media. Well, I'm very thug, so you know how I roll. You're not allowed to say that, Kevin. I'm supposed to tell you that. I'm legally obligated to tell you you can't say that. You're seeing a great talk in here, you know? Why did nothing happen? say that, Kevin. I'm supposed to tell you that. I'm legally obligated to tell you you can't say that. Christina, great talking to you,

you know? Why did nothing happen? Nothing happened. Can I be honest? To you. We've had so many, so much controversy here. I just like,

and some of it couldn't be avoided. I just don't want any self-inflicted wounds. Like, you know, we got in trouble this weekend because Aziz came. I thought the Aziz thing

was done. Like, it's like. Did he come on the podcast? Oh, he was there. I was there. That would get in trouble. Just like, he come on the podcast? Oh he was there I was there That would get in trouble Just like They make a fuss

About everything They just make a fuss About everything Yeah they just gotta Come on guys Just cut out From everything Cut out what I just said too

Okay Oh pussy Just cut out When I got here Can I just do my plugs And you cut out Since I You can cut out

Since I got here If you really The sound bite of how I Sing all the lyrics If you really want to hear The n-word If you want a little vicarious N-word,

go ahead. Plug it. I was going to say a club called N-words. Go ahead. No, I'm mad at bananas. I don't even... Bananas.

Is that true? Yeah, that's nothing to do with... No. That's nothing to do with anything. It's not a euphemism for anything.

It's just called bananas. Just coincidentally. Bananas and Hasbro Cards. It's not chocolate bananas. It's just a euphemism for anything. It's just called bananas. Just coincidentally. Bananas and Hasbro Cards. Not the chocolate bananas. Just bananas. No. You're going to have to take that out. You guys just stop talking.

I can't say that. I can't say that. October 5th, I think. Someone will say you can't. I think that's all right. This episode ended in about 35 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're good.

I'm not with Kevin. I didn't know if I want to plug. I actually believe in being sensitive, extremely sensitive to people. Yeah, but you're a businessman. You're a businessman. No, in my personal life too.

What I don't believe in... That's your morals. What I don't believe in is judging somebody even when you are absolutely... When it's absolutely obvious that their intentions were otherwise.

I don't believe in that and that's what happens. And no one wants to pay. And that offends me no end. Yeah. That happens with who? It happens all the time. In the media.

With Kavanaugh? With Kavanaugh, you mean? No, no. No, that was earned. No, no. Like somebody got fired for using the N-word, but he was using it because he was describing that he thought it was insensitive to you. Like, you know, somebody's quoting something or somebody says something.

A professor says something from Huckleberry Finn. And, you know, this kind of crazy or somebody says something, a professor says something from Huckleberry Finn and, you know, this kind of craziness. But that's how Papa John's got, Papa John got quoted. He said that word? Yeah, he said that word.

No, but he was an idiot. Why didn't he say it? He was saying that people, some people use the word, but he said the word. Yeah, he was saying people shouldn't use the word, but he said the word.

Oh, really? Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah, he's like the Thomas Mann alive. Papa. But I don't, I never liked, when Lisa Lampan? Yeah, that kind of thing. Papa. Idiot. I never liked when Lisa Lampanelli used to perform here years ago. I didn't like it either. And she used to do a lot of racial humor. It always made me uncomfortable.

I don't really like that stuff. I don't really like that stuff. Comedy that makes me uncomfortable, I relish in that. I actually kind of appreciate that. You know, but... I don't mind all racial humor. I don't mind all racial humor. I minded that brand. When you're not hitting the joke.

But the punchline really was like a nasty stereotype. That's gross. It wasn't like a funny joke. It was just mean. It's uncomfortable for everybody. That I don't like. We're finished here.

It may be finished. Yes, we are fine. Yeah, I don't like that either. Okay. We're finished here. It may be finished altogether. Yes, we are. It's the last episode of Life from the Table. I'll make better points. He invited himself now. What kind of question is that? I always make better points on the way home, on the subway. I'm like, I should have said that. There's a word for that in French.

L'escalier. Spirit of the stairway. Spirit of the stairway, yeah. Okay, good night, everybody. Later.