The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Kyle Dunnigan, Dov Davidoff, and Joe Machi

Episode Date: February 23, 2018

Kyle Dunnigan is a Los Angeles-based standup comedian. He may be seen performing at the Comedy Cellar - Las Vegas's opening night. Dov Davidoff and Joe Machi are New York City-based standup comedians. They may be seen performing regularly at the Comedy Cellar.

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Okay, this is The Comedy Cellar Show on Sirius XM 99, Raw Doggy! Coming to you from the back table at The Comedy Cellar, the voice you're hearing is Dan Natterman, which means, of course, as is so often the case, no informant is not here. I believe he is on vacation in Miami, Florida, with the wife and kids. The million-dollar question is, is he even needed to run the Comedy Cellar? And it's looking more and more like he is not, because the place is running very well without him.

Just fine. We have with us Dove Davidoff, a regular here at the Comedy Cellar Show. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. And a not so regular, but always happy to have him with us, Kyle Dunnigan. Yes, sir. He's in from Los Angeles. The West Coast.

And Stephen Calabria, our producer, is sitting here. And he's a guest, but, you know, Stephen's like, he's the producer, he's a guest, but he chimes in, but he's not official, but he's here. Thank you for that introduction, Dan. Kyle, welcome. Good to be here. Kyle lives in Los Angeles. I've been to his house, by the way. It's quite beautiful.

It's on a hill overlooking the Sunbeams. Yes, you have been there, yes. We've pitched some shows to Howie Mandel. Yes, we did. Kyle, you're in New York. Of course, we have a lot of comics that live in L.A. They come to New York, whether to film a movie, whether it's a new series they're working on. Kyle, what're in New York. Of course, we have a lot of comics that live in L.A. They come to New York, whether to film a movie, whether it's a new series they're working on.

Kyle, what brings you here? Visiting Mother. That's not quite as exciting. I had a meeting at HBO, actually. Oh, did you? Yes. What kind of meeting? It was for like a special, like an hour special meeting.

Why here, Kyle? I don't know. Why not in Santa Monica where HBO has an office? Oh, really? Yeah. They didn't tell me that. That's odd.

I was in Baltimore doing some shows. You ever go to Magoobie's? No, I don't go to Magoobie's. Well, you know, it's not a bad... The ergonomically,

the room is actually kind of... The sound's nice. Yes. It's just in the middle of this not nice place. It's one of those weekends where you're stuck. Kyle, I don't know if you know this.

I don't really do clubs anymore. Not for him. Why not? It's not for me. He doesn't like it. I respect that. I get so depressed. And thankfully, as our listeners know as I talk about it, I've been doing more corporates

as well as the occasional synagogue. Well, good. And Jewish Community Center. I don't believe you. Because it pays the same money and it's one show. And I don't love that either, by the way. Let's be very clear. I've had enough.

Yes. I've had enough. But unfortunately, I... Would you be happy doing the gig if it were a lot more money in a theater? Or it's just the money and... Well, it's for... Thank you. I appreciate it. You have to go to these towns and spend a lot of time there.

Oftentimes... Right, but in the case of the gigs that you do, that would be no longer than if you had to go to somewhere and do a theater in a town where there was a motel 6. I also get very anxious when I perform. The truth is, I've never loved doing stand-up comedy. I see, I see. You're like Woody Allen. I want to back you up on, I want to second that.

You know you don't love it? I'm not sure what we're doing, what this is. Well, I thought that I would get a sitcom or something of that nature early when I was starting. Right. And, of course, it didn't work out that way. When we started, that was the big thing. You did stand-up to get your sitcom.

Yes. Certainly, a lot of people were getting those. Everybody got them except for us. It was like the tulip craze of the 17th century. Yes. It's exactly like that. It really was a run when, in fact, it wasn't sustainable for us. It was like the tulip craze of the 17th century. Yes. It's exactly like that. It really was a run when, in fact, it wasn't sustainable for anybody, and there were only five of them that ever really worked

for a long period of time. I mean, the whole idea is they're throwing out deals with the – the strategy was that they're going to invest in somebody and that they're going to turn into Seinfeld, right? Right. I mean, that was the whole idea. So you go to Montreal, if you have a nice smile and seven funny minutes,

they give you a deal. But the deals not only didn't work out, they never worked out, with the exception of very, very few. But that's us looking... So the whole model was essentially a bit folded. But that was us looking at it from the inside. From the outside, before I started doing comedy,

I saw comics, I saw Seinfeld, I saw Rose. I saw Seinfeld. Yes. I saw Roseanne Barr. Yeah. I saw Tim Allen. They were doing stand-up. They were getting sitcoms. The sitcoms went on to become YouTube.

Well, there were a lot of big deals in there, too, that you forget about, like Justin McKinney. Who was that girl? She had my period boobs. Who was that? That's Sue Costello.

Yes, yes, yes. Half a million dollars. Yeah. But they got a lot of money. I remember Chicken got like a... They started calling it Chicken Money. Yes. They gave him a half a million dollars.

That's right. He had like five minutes of Missouri. That's right. But now to segue into somebody for whom miracles did happen, Amy Schumer is tied to not. One of our very own, whether that's marriage is marriage or a legitimate love story, I don't know. I didn't know anything about it. Who's she married to?

She married a chef. Oh, wow. Now, chefs, I don't know if you know this about chefs. They're crazier than comics. Is that the case? And they carry knives. There you go. Okay, all right.

No, well, we all wish her the best. We certainly do. Now, Kyle, you were at the wedding. Is that correct? Yeah. I don't want to get too into celebrity gossip, and I know Dove doesn't like it. You love it. I happen to like it.

Well, no, you do. Don't let me. You know, it's your show. Well, I'll tell you this. Well, I get it. And certainly the people out there like it. It is my show, but Dove looks at me with that condescending like, No, no, no, but we're not having a conversation.

Kirk a guard in this kind of girl. No, no, no, if we're having a conversation at a dinner table, I could care less about that culture. I didn't grow up with it, and I don't much care about it. But it's completely apropos if you're talking to an audience out there that's listening to a show about, you know, comedy in that world. I'll tell you this. I saw

The Vows. Going by The Vows. It's legit. It's legit. Okay. Seems like a very nice guy. Seems like they really Had you met him before? I never met him before. I met him here briefly at the Comedy Cellar. He was sitting with her.

Did you pick up a vibe? I didn't get a vibe one way or the other. I'm always skeptical about Hollywood marriages, and Amy now is a Hollywood persona. Yes. And so one has to wonder whether this is going to last for any legitimate length of time. Do we have any statistics on that, Kyle?

The idea of Hollywood relationships relative to any relationship being that divorce rates are 50% in the first place? I think they're a lot worse in Hollywood. Worse for Hollywood marriages. Do we know this, though? Yes. You think so? What happened to the...

Did we lose something? I always wonder. You know how Gladwell writes those books where all of the underlying data can often be surprising, right? Hold on. I just want to see if we lost something on the... For God's sake, man! Can I get... We need Gnome. I guess we do need Gnome.

Why do you think we lost something? Well, because it was going all the way over here, I thought, and now it was... Dan, if the audience at home, Dan, is referring to colors on the screen that apparently indicate something about... Dan, it's still going. It's just moving really slowly. You know nothing about

tech. Have we been going for only seven minutes? Yes. Seems like longer. You beast. What time is it? It is 6.52, so we're exactly seven minutes. Okay, so like I said, everything running to plan. By the way, Kyle,

apropos of the Schumer, I believe his name is Fisher. Yeah. And it was pointed out on Twitter that her name would be Amy Fisher if she kept his name, if she takes his name. Which, for those of our younger audience members, that was the Long Island Lolita accused of shooting her 30-something boyfriend's wife at the age of 16. Anyway, one question I did have with regard to Amy's wedding is, was she registered anywhere at that level? And plus it was a last minute wedding. No, it was no gifts.

You want to donate to charity. That's the classy way to do it if you already have a lot of money. Yeah, I just wondered at that level of income, does she really need your salad bowl? And so I was wondering about that. So you said she'd just donate. Just donate. Yeah, no gifts.

Okay. Which is nice. Open bar, free food, no gifts. That's nice. And you brought your girlfriend? I believe you.

No, she's in Vegas. She couldn't make it. She got, it was on a Tuesday. She's got her doctor stuff. Oh, she's a physician, your girl? Well, she's in rotation

right now. I don't get paid yet. Okay. What does rotation mean? It's like every month you go to a different thing. Like, you'll be OB-GYN one month, and the next month you do, like, trauma surgery. So you get a sense of what you want to focus on.

Every doctor does that? Yeah, it's part of, like, med school. And then there's residency for three years where you get paid, but not a ton. By the way, speaking of Las Vegas, the announcement was made. It's official, ladies and gentlemen. Of course, our listeners knew already.

Our listeners are always the first to know. Does Kyle know? I'm on the first weekend. Not only does Kyle know, he's on opening weekend. Las Vegas Comedy Cellar has been officially announced. April 5th at the Rio Hotel. We will bring the Comedy Cellar, not to the West Coast, but to the West. To the Great West.

I'm going back to doing the road stuff. I'm doing this. Here's what I think bothers me about it. About the road or about Las Vegas? This past weekend, oh, the road. The road, the real road. You're in Baltimore, yeah. In back me up, you feel this way.

You're alone for 23 hours, and then there's too much attention on you for an hour. Yeah, there's a room full of attention for an hour. You just go and you yell at people, and then you leave. I just leave. What you're referring to, I think, is a cognitive dissonance. A kind of, you'll have an experience, and then the idea that you go from alone to in a room full of people, it's dissonant. Your psychology needs time to adjust. There is no transition period. Yeah, there's probably that.

And it's also like you never really connect with people. I'm not positive I'm using dissonance in the right context, but I think I am. I believe you. Yeah. And, you know, you're just going up there telling them a monologue and you're not even really interacting too much. That's right. It's lonely. Well, Kyle, it is lonely,

but that's not my main issue. My main issue is the anxiety. Really? Yes, it is. The anxiety of performing on stage. It's funny because you're so good. Yeah, he's so funny.

Thank you, Kyle. I'm not going to disagree with you. And plus, it's not like you rely on performance so much. You're material. So what you're saying is I'm basically, what you're saying is I'm basically a wooden stool up there. You're not needed. Hit play and get off stage, man.

Some people like a Dane Cook can't go up there depressed. But you could, I think, and still do well. Well, you know, I can't phone it in. I mean, I thought that, like, I'll just talk and I won't worry so much about it. But the truth is, I have to be present mentally. You know, it's even my act, which is relatively low energy. Kyle, I very

much experience, I relate to that, your experience. I mean, the downside of being alone for 23 hours, and then for one hour there's a lot of attention, and then you're alone again. Right. Right? So you're alone, there's a lead up, and then some thing, and then immediately you're back to being alone in a hotel room. Are you someone who talks to people afterward?

I just wrote a book about it. The memoir I just wrote has a lot of that in it. And then what happens in that moment, we all have those little sort of dark vacuum spaces that lead to whether it's fucking food or drugs or weird relationships. And it's exacerbated in that moment when you get off stage and you have all of that energy and you've been alone. And you don't want to really continue to be alone, but there's no way to not be alone without being with a whole group of people that you don't know. And a weird interaction. In a very weird interaction. They look at you like you're different.

Yeah, it's a whole thing. You're going to keep entertaining them. Kyle, by the way, you do music in your act a lot. Sometimes I do. Do you do it when you're at Magoobie's? They set up a piano for you? Yes. Magoobie's got me a piano.

Okay. Kyle has a lot of music. So let's contrast with Vegas. A lot of what is intriguing to comedians about the Vegas room is it's not the typical format. You're out there with four. There's three other comedians plus the MC. Well, you knew that. No, I didn't.

Well, you're only doing like 20 minutes. Oh, great. Per show. Yeah. And then, so that cuts the anxiety, at least for me. And then you're going to be with, now, I'll tell you who you're going to be. Why don't you do some shows with me out there? Why don't you come out there when I'm coming?

Well, we have to talk to Esty. I want to go out there with my card counting team. I told Noam if he sends me to Vegas, he's got to send me out there with the card counting team. Now, can you count? I can count cards. Okay. But only the basic one. There's more complicated ones that I don't know.

Well, I don't necessarily need you out there if you're going to fuck it up. Yeah, that's right. Could it be hotter in here? Yeah, it's very hot. But Kyle, so I don't know. Do you know even who you're performing with? No. Well, I'm going to tell you right now.

This could be it. Now, you talk about good radio. Kyle right now is going to be informed who he's going to be performing with, and we'll see if he's happy about it. Do you know where I'm going in the lineup? That I don't know. That I don't know. But the emcee is Mark Cohen, our dear old friend Mark Cohen,

who is house emceeing out there. I'm so glad he got that job. It's good for him because... He's got a daughter out there. He's got a daughter out there. Nice. Okay, so you'll be out there with Moe Hammer. Do you know Moe?

No. Moe Hammer is a Palestinian Muslim Arabic... I know Kyle's cringing, but he's one of the good ones. He is a comedian, but he lives in Texas. Well, he doesn't live in Texas. I think he grew up in Texas. He lives here, but I think he grew up... Yeah, But he lives in Texas Well he doesn't live in Texas I think he grew up in Texas He lives here But I think he grew up

Yeah he grew up in Texas Yeah yeah I believe in Houston Very nice guy Yeah Good dude Opens for Chappelle He opens for Chappelle

Okay Yeah And brings a Slightly different point of view Than you might otherwise have You know In Las Vegas He talks a bit about being Being Muslim In today's America slightly different point of view than you might otherwise have in Las Vegas.

He talks a bit about being Muslim in today's America. So he'll be there with you. Jessica Curzon. Oh, I love her. Jessica Curzon. Jessica's great. And Nate McIntosh, a very high-energy Canadian. Do you know Nate McIntosh? I don't know him.

I don't know him. Nate work here? No, everyone works here. They're flying out? They're flying out. I'm just going to drive. Okay, so that's one of the advantages of using an L.A. comedian is they can drive. Whereas the New York comedians, it costs a little bit of money.

But also to communicate a bit about the model that the seller is using. I mean, that's, I think, what ideally will be the competitive advantage is that they'll put on a show with headliners. And they'll have four of them as opposed to your local emcee and a kind of traditional middle and 45-minute headliner thing. I like that better. Well, I think it works for the audience. And it definitely works for the comedians. It definitely works for the comedians. And it definitely works for the audience if it's sustainable financially,

because the model requires that. Traditional headliner models are all about money. They only want to pay one guy that wants to come out and do comedy, so you have to do 45 minutes. In this case, you're getting four people that could have done 45, theoretically, and they're doing less than half that. Right, but you still have to pay them decently because they're giving up a whole weekend. But that's what I'm questioning about the model and whether or not, you know, are these things sustainable? And listen, I hope it's a big hit. All will be known in time.

All will be known in time. Dan, did you say I don't want to do it? No, I didn't say that at all. I never say that about anything that I don't do. Well, you don't do clubs. No, you do say that about certain things you don't do. I told Noam this, except for clubs. I told Noam. Yeah, there are many things, actually.

Except for 100 clubs. I told Noam that I would like to do a podcast out there opening weekend. He said, great. And he said, yeah, well, you know, and then he asked Liz to ask Esty,

but I think it was already booked by then. Well... But, I mean, I told Noam I'm happy to go out there anyway if he'd pay Aaron Hotel to do a podcast. Yeah. You know, but we don't have to, but I'm willing to do out there anyway if he'd pay Aaron Hotel to do a podcast. Yeah.

But we don't have to, but I'm willing to do that. You can have some of my time, too, if you want. Well, that's not necessary. Well, if you want to. All right. No, I don't need that. I'm just saying I would go out there and do a podcast. Dove.

Yes, man. Dove Davidoff. Yes. Any news? So much news. Any news on the baby? This is something we've talked about. Dove is... No, no, no. We Davidoff. Yes. Any news? So much news. Any news on the baby? This is something we've talked about. No, no, no.

We're not far along enough in the process right now for news. But certainly, you know, the IVF, the implantation, then there's got to be a test and all of that. But we're far enough so that there'll be news at some point. Doug has 10 embryos on ice. On ice, man. They're on ice. They're on ice. They're on ice. I've got a weak motility.

Are they five boys and five girls? Oh, I don't know the answer to that. I just know that they took the healthiest eggs and the healthiest sperm, and then they pair them to create an embryo. And so the ratio of males and females. But there's ten embryos on ice. Ten embryos on ice. And they will.

Yeah, I don't think you know the sex till... Well, they can. I think they can. They can know the sex. If you want a boy or a girl, you can have that implanted. Wow. Yeah, and they can, I think, take it a bit further than that as well. Well, I don't think they can do that.

I mean, they can take it as a boy or a girl. If you're looking for a concert pianist, they can't help you. That you just have to hope for. If you want to weed out hacks, you can ask them to take a look. No, I don't know. I think you're playing God, and I can't approve. I totally agree. Yeah, yeah, I totally agree.

I don't think he's playing God, but what is interesting, what strikes me, is how much it costs and what a pain in the ass it is to create this kid that, let's face it, we don't need in this world. We don't need him. We'll muddle through without him somehow. We don't need him. Wait a minute. I'm kidding, of course, about you playing God. No, no, no. By the way,

with the embryos, although if you continue to take it further through genetic testing, you can play God for a bit. I think you can isolate for certain types of eye and hair color. Yeah, you can do that, I suppose. Well, I know that when we do genetic testing, you can play God for a bit. I think you can isolate for certain types of eye and hair color. Yeah, you can do that, I suppose. Well, I know that when we do genetic testing, which normal situations don't do,

they're able to determine whether or not you have a recessive gene, and I have one, and the likelihood of there being a problem. So you're weeding things out. You're screening for certain deficiencies. Kyle, do you seriously have an issue with this, or are you just being facetious? No, I don't have an issue. I'm all for completely genetically engineering children. And I'm for, like, you can only have one kid.

Oh, me too. Me too. I think that's a great idea. I don't know why people have a... I mean... Politically, I don't know why that's such a... I know why it's a hot-button thing with religion and all, but it seems like so many of our problems are also inextricably linked to the idea

that there are too many fucking people. Yeah. You know? Whether it's global warming or starvation. I mean, if there were fewer people, then the problems would be a bit easier to tackle, wouldn't they? Well, I can't speak to that. Why can't you? Well, you know, because I can't.

Because it sounds like a complicated issue. But I do know that they're always talking about how our economy needs more people in it. Economically, well, that's one of the reasons why we have so many immigrants. And also in Western Europe where they have to have immigrants because people there's just the economy requires, a modern economy requires a certain amount of people.

You need balance and the earth can only take so many people. Eventually, we're going to have to do that. It does seem as though we're headed in that direction. Well, I don't know if we'll eventually have to do it or not. Well, China did it.

What was their experience of that model, using that model? I don't know. And that's why next week we're going to have on Xing Laoping from the University

of Wanshu will be here to discuss demographic developments in modern China. And you'll certainly want to stick around for that discussion. But no, it is,

I just do find it interesting that people want kids this badly that they're willing to put themselves through this what seems like a horrific process. It's an unbelievably ironic thing. And people don't speak well. Do you do a bit about that? Yeah, well, about marriage.

People don't speak well about kids. Well, I have a bit about marriage. It's the same thing. I ask people about having kids, and I think about your joke because it does... They like their kids

more than being married, generally speaking, when I hear people speaking about that experience. Well, they love their kids, but are we really hearing about the day-to-day kind of experience

of having all of that added responsibility? Noam seems to love it. Noam seems to love it. Yeah, Noam does. Noam does. Noam does. But Noam had him when he was older.

I don't know how that factors into it. Less energy. Yeah, yeah. Well, and also just wanting to run around less and having experience more, and maybe you feel like you're giving up less. I don't know. I think also it depends on your wife, if she's home or she's really busy. If you can afford a nanny, that probably is.

Yeah. If I don't have a nanny and I'm an only father and I have a kid, that would not be good. So you don't, in your mind, you're not Kyle thinking in terms of kids? No, I would have a kid. I would. Okay. If it was, you know, with someone that wanted to have a kid. Now, without revealing ages, Kyle's about my age.

He's not a spring chicken necessarily. So he's yet another comedian. Looks very young. We both look in our 20s. Well, I wouldn't go that far. But Kyle's one of the, you know, in comedy, we do, there's a lot more older, non-married, non-kid-having people in the general population. Well, that's, what is that? They call it that anecdotal, your experience.

And I would imagine that's right. Well, my experience in comedy is pretty, I think, accurate is that? They call it that anecdotal, your experience. And I would imagine that's right. Well, my experience in comedy is pretty, I think, accurate in that regard. Why do you think that is? Well, I think we're immature people. I can speak for myself. I don't want to grow up. I'm trying to keep this kid thing going. Yeah, that's pretty good.

And that's for me. Now, I can't speak for why you don't have kids or a wife at this late stage. But that's not what he asked you to do. He asked you to speak in general. Well, that's hard for me to do. I think we're just a broken people and I think that... I could contextualize this a bit. Broken people have kids all the time.

Arguably more so. That's an interesting point. Maybe we're selfish people? Yeah, there's more here. There's more here that you are not looking at. Well, do you have any theories? Sure. Yeah, the idea that, one,

that you're going somewhere at night to do this thing that you're very connected to, I think is a traditional kind of model for a life is if you get up early, you go to a job of sorts, and then you return home. If you have a life that takes place after 9 p.m., and then you go on and off the road, and then there are stability issues and financials. It's like all of the data. It sort of adds up to a kind of...

I'll add to that. Yeah. On top of that, I think there's... Imagine if I had a nine-to-five job. I was coming home, and then I think at a certain point... And your culture, the people you're around,

the guys I grew up with, they all come home at six o'clock, and they have a kind of a culture that speaks to family and solidity. That's right. And I think also there's an element of... I think I'd be bored. Like, now what do I do?

I have no... Sure. I just have this day job. I want a family. Yes. I think there's a lot of that. I think most people aren't doing something that they were really passionate about and took a lot of risks to get into for the most part.

I don't want to oversimplify. We're saying we're kind of married to our career. Well, think about a musician's life. Think about, I mean, these lives that don't seem to lend themselves toward sustainable family solidity. I think musicians are more likely to have kids, though, often maybe with, you know, somebody they meet on the road or a... I don't know about that.

I don't know. I mean, I would have to, you know, source information, but yeah, I mean, I don't know. Is that true? Kim Jong-un is coming next week. Who's coming next week? I forgot his name, but he's from the University of Wangchus. The Wangchus. He's giving us statistics.

By the way, Dove came up, as he sometimes does, in therapy today. Yeah. I was saying to my therapy, I said, what do you make of

this Dove Davidoff guy? I didn't have anything to talk about. The truth is, I don't have much to talk about today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I mean...

What did he say? I said, here's a guy, and I was talking about this with Russ Maneve also. I said, here's a guy that was the biggest booty hound on two feet when I met him in the late 90s. Oh, yeah. I mean, here's a guy, and I was talking about this with Russ Maneve also. I said, here's a guy that was the biggest booty hound on two feet when I met him in the late 90s. I mean, this guy, he was ill.

He was ill. He was a lot of fun, but he was like a drug addict that's so much fun to hang out with, but they're addicted. I mean, the shit he would pull, the moves he would pull, and now he has been, according to him, and I believe when he says it,

monogamous for two years. Yeah, since before the marriage. And I've never seen a transition like that. Nobody has. Nobody has seen that. I've never seen anything like it. It's never been done. Now, Doug will tell you,

he's been in therapy. Therapy's not working for anybody else. No, I think you're right. My therapist said he thinks you've got a physical illness. No, I think therapy's just a component of a kind of larger realization or a maturity kind of arc. In reading the tea leaves, I mean, I used to have a joke about it. I wouldn't do the joke, but the premise, the idea was that I was worried that if I didn't, you know, buckle down, that I would end up outside of the comedy store in L.A.

And it would be, I'd have an open shirt on with a gold chain and it would be raining. And then across the street and it would be raining, and then across the street it would be sunny, and I would see my ex-girlfriend with a husband and two kids, and they're eating ice cream. That explains why you want to be monogamous. Well, that's the first step is a conceptualization of what you think might be a better fit. And then you try to backtrack from there. So there's an idea or an objective

and then you figure out the steps needed to take. But here's the thing. I understand perfectly well why you would strive to be monogamous, why you don't want to be the old guy at the comedy store with a ponytail still trying to pick up babes and texting, hey girl,

sup, at 60 years old, sup. I get that. I get that. What I don't get is how you have, if you were coming in every day and saying, fucking amen, I got to drop a cream, as you used to say all the time. But I can't because I don't want to be that old guy at the comedy store. Then I would say, all right, he's wrestling.

But I don't even see you wrestling. Well, because I think that part. It seems like you're zipping. Because the downside. You're zipping into the tulips. I visualize. Not visualize. I don't know what the fuck it's called. But if you isolate something in your mind, and it's so clearly, the tea leaves are, that's going to lead to bad stuff.

If you talk to somebody who's been through rehab, right? I mean, what you're referring to is the potential to relapse or whatever. But if you've been through rehab enough and your life got dark enough, then at some point

you go, listen, this shit equals death. And if I continue to engage in whatever late night pursuit or hang out

after midnight, the likelihood of fucking up is getting higher. And so you begin to remove yourself from every situation that presents a kind of a liability of sorts.

Do you find yourself using strategies to avoid Yes, I get out of situations. So how do you do that? I move, baby. I got feet. That's how I do it. My feet. But in other words, whereas before, after a show, you might hang out.

Oh yeah, I used to. Absolutely. That was part of the upside. That's part of what's made the road more difficult is that there's less incentive. You're in a relationship. That used to be at least the possibility would get you through certain parts of the set or going to the club.

But then that, for me, led to wanting to hang out and drink. I've never been a big drinker, but after a show, if you're hanging around with a bunch of strangers, what makes it easier is if you start drinking, it reduces all of that friction and the awkwardness. You know what I mean? Right. When you drink alcohol. That becomes a slippery slope kind of experience. You drink and then that begets another drink

and then the morning becomes later and later and then your life sort of turns into that comedian late night. I know those lives and I thought, it's not for me. I don't want to live that life. It sounds not unlike ice cream or something where you just, when you're younger, you could always just get ice cream and then you realize it's unhealthy and you need some broccoli.

And you can't metabolize it as well anymore. You're not digesting dairy well. I think that's very reasonable. Well, you know, you lost me because I'm lactose intolerant. At about 35, it kicked in. And what can I tell you? Coconut ice cream. Pardon?

Coconut ice cream. Well, Ben Jerry's is I tell you? Coconut ice cream. Pardon? Coconut ice cream. Well, Ben Jerry's is doing wonderful things with vegan ice cream. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, using an almond milk base. And it's quite good. They don't pay me, by the way, for that plug. I just believe in the product. So, Dove, now after a show here at the Comedy Cellar,

before you might I remember in the old days you'd say Dan let's let's go outside after the show here at the Comedy Cellar if you've never been here

after the show is over some girls come upstairs to the bar area most go right outside into the they're ejected

right out into the ether into the ether and we used to hang out in the ether after the show. And then whoever was around and looked like they were, you know, hanging, hanging, either hanging around or looking like they wanted to go out after the show. I mean, there was a much higher probability after being on stage of meeting one of these people. And for any number of reasons.

So you go outside, you hang out, you see two girls that are unaccompanied. Absolutely. You say, how you doing? Hey, you give your best to Moan. I don't say it quite like the Moan from Best Dr. Rickman High. out, you see two girls that are unaccompanied, and you say, how you doing? Hey, you give your best to the moon. I don't say it quite like the moon from Best Time to Richmond High. Isn't this great? Yeah, isn't this great?

Put on side two of Led Zeppelin 3. No, yeah, I mean, my version of that, yeah, sure. And then you have something to do, right? So you have all of that energy. What was your version? I forgot. You know, I didn't have a version. There was no specific line. I think they came up to you and said you were funny, and you were like to do, right? So you have all of that energy. What was your version? I forgot. You know, I didn't have a version. There was no specific line.

I think they came up to you and said you were funny, and you were like, oh, thanks. Yeah, you know, I have a wounded kind of thing. So where's your boyfriend? Oh, was that one of your lines? I heard him once say. Do you have a line? No, I heard him once say to a girl, where's your boyfriend? No, I didn't have a line. And she said, I don't have one.

And he said, right answer. And he took her hand, and they were out of there. I'm telling you. No, I didn't have a line. And she said, I don't have one. And he said, right answer. Then he took her hand and they were out of there. I'm telling you, if I'm, as I sit here, my hand to God, this is the truth,

he grabbed her hand, he said, right answer, grabbed her hand and they were out the door. Out the door. What happened after that, I don't know,

but one can imagine. Yeah, but it wasn't a result of having a good line. Out the door. Out the door. What happened after that, I don't know, but one can imagine. Yeah, but it wasn't a result of having a good line. Out the door. Or necessarily a great rep. I think the kinds of women that were at all drawn to me were already, the screening process that had already taken place before I've said anything, is that they're unhealthy people. But you knew, you looked in her eyes and I guess you just knew.

Of course I knew. You knew. I knew. How does a pig know that there's a truffle in the ground? It's a pig, boy. That's what that snout is for. And that's how it evolved over millions and millions of years. I never did that well.

But, yeah, I do feel a little bit of a loss of that. Of course. But you must feel it more acutely. Well, that was my thing. That was a bit of a, you know, that was how I got high to some degree. But you try to think of what you do have, which is so much as we've talked. So rich. So deep.

So sustainable. So rich and so wonderful to have someone that you love. So sweet. Whether or not you have any sexual attraction for them anymore, I don't know. I would argue that pessimism is a good quality to have if you want to stay in a marriage and faithful. Right, as long as it's not too pessimistic.

You can go, oh, that's not going to work out, and you go home. Yes. But if you're optimistic, oh, I could make this happen. Right, but you don't want to bring that pessimism

into your relationship because then all of the... That's true. I think what you might be getting at is there's something to be said for the complete, being completely out of the game. That is to say, if you think you've got a Chinaman's chance. A Chinaman's chance, yeah. I hate to use that. But I would never say that in front of Dr. Wang Xia.

We'll be on next guest. Not going to say that next week. That's right. No, if you think you have the slightest chance, then you might still be out there hunting, hunting. Well, no, not if you think you have a chance, because you do have a chance. But some people might have no chance whatsoever,

and they're like, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, perhaps, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. I always thought that if that demographic, let's say that were represented by the people that end up, a lot of the Comic-Con people, and I've heard people make fun of other people for being super into gaming and things like that. Yeah. And usually the context in which they're made fun of is that, well, they're not going to get laid doing that. in a promiscuous way any more productive or... Satisfying. Satisfying or increase

the likelihood of happiness than playing games or Dungeons & Dragons or anything else. I mean, qualitatively, I was one superior to the other. It's all a fantasy game. I mean, one actually is...

One you end up with a wizard and the other one's a bro. So that's a little bit different. These Comic-Con people might be happier than everybody else. Absolutely it might be. And by the way, there's a bro. So that's a little bit different. These Comic-Con people might be happier than everybody else. Absolutely. And by the way, there's a lot of banging going on at Comic-Con. Don't kid yourself.

Know that, but don't kid yourself. Do not kid yourself. I mean, it's costumed oftentimes, you know. But, Dove, so you're saying that going out and banging everyone is overrated. It doesn't provide you with the... Well, I think a philosopher coined the term, you know, the law of diminishing returns as a function of how we operate. And so it's culture and brain chemistry and all of that. But if you combine it, how could you possibly experience the same upside, right?

Well, Dan, it seems like every time you bring up Dove from the old days, you always comment on how good he was with women. So it sounds like something that you really admire. Well, admire. You know, it was a spectacle. It was interesting. It was fun to watch. Excuse me for a moment. Dove has a phone call.

Not sure who it is. But did I admire it it would it would come in handy I suppose if I had had some of those skills but mostly it was just

something to see there was always a show would you have become such good friends with Dove if he wasn't so good with women no no it's nothing to do with that

he's an interesting person and he's fun he's fun I didn't know he was like that when I met him I was shocked the first time I saw him in that stale like holy this guy's no. I didn't know he was like that when I met him. I was shocked the first time I saw him

in that state. I was like, holy, this guy's no joke. I didn't, you know, I had no idea to be, you know, first when I met him that he was like that to be honest. Then I saw him when he was in that zone. I'm like, this guy, that was a part of him I didn't know about. So no, that wasn't the

reason. But it was always interesting to watch. Don't you have a little fear if someone likes your show and they come up to you after? If you start hitting on them, they may be like, hey, no, I just liked you. I thought you were fun. Now they're creeped out. Right. So now, whereas before you had a fan that admired you, now you have somebody that thinks you're a creep.

Yeah, yeah. You're exactly right. Now, not every comic, I think, deals with that. But I feel that very, very strongly. I couldn't agree with you more. I'd rather have, you know, I do enjoy having people that admire me and like me, and I don't want to ruin it by trying to have sex with them, but that's why I don't hit on them very hard after the show.

I wait for them to come to me if they make obvious, if they're obviously interested, then I might move in that direction. But I don't, and Dove was very good at just knowing, I think, from looking into somebody's eyes. And just knowing. But I couldn't agree with you more.

I don't, I'm not a very aggressive after shows. And I have the numbers to prove, my numbers are very low. My numbers are very low. My numbers are very low. You have numbers to prove it. I have the numbers. I have the documentation to prove it.

I don't know if you want to reveal your number. Oh, I really didn't do that well on the road. I think I... I just overall, your number, your number overall, be it the road, be it wherever. I mean, what's good? What's appropriate? There's no good, there's no bad.

It's whatever is... I think seven is average. No. Seven among men, I think, is average. Total in lifetime? Yeah. If not, lower. What?

No. Well, you can look at our researcher slash producer. For single people, it's got to be. Well, I'm about 28, 29. That's a pretty modest number, I think, for somebody of my vintage, shall we say. Huh? Sounds pretty solid. Well, yours, I would imagine, is higher than that.

What is that, one a year for you? I guess if you average it out, sure. No, one a year since I started? Yeah. About? Yeah. Ish? Are you higher than that? Yeah, I'm a little higher than that. Okay, I a year since I started? Yeah. About? Yeah. Ish? Yeah.

Are you higher than that? Yeah, I'm a little higher than that. Okay, I thought you might be. Kyle? But I'll tell you, up to like 27, I think I was five. No, I was at zero up until 20. Well, I was a prostitute, but zero without paying for it up until 27. Wow.

Which is a pretty shocking statistic. By the way, I think I asked you this already. Did you see Black Panther by any chance? No. I did want to discuss it because everybody's talking about this movie. It's funny how we found the four people in Manhattan who haven't seen it. Well, no, I think most white people probably haven't seen it yet. Must have.

Must have. It's gone in huge numbers. Yeah, but that's true. It's not all black people that are counting for those numbers. I'm just curious to see. It's a crazy phenomenon. Yeah, I'm going to see it. Are you going to see it with whom?

Are you going to see your girlfriend? Probably see it with Mother this weekend. You're going to bring your mother to Black Panther? That seems like an odd choice. It's a superhero movie. In Westport, Connecticut. Don't put me in Wilton. One thing about seeing Black Panther in Westport, Connecticut,

there'll be seats available. If you really want to see Black Panther, you go to the Magic Johnson Theater. It's white. It's so white, it's white. Westport, Connecticut. We're talking about Black Panther. Dub, I know you have not seen it. No, I haven't seen it, nor will I. I'm. We're talking about Black Panther. Dub, I know you have not seen it, unless you saw it.

No, I haven't seen it, nor will I. I mean, I don't like, I'm not a big fan of superhero movies. I'm not going to go see this one just because he's black. I'm not a fan either of superhero movies, but this is a cultural event. You want to go?

You want to go see it? Are you asking me out? I, you know, well, you know, I think of myself as a monogamous man. You know, I don't know. I'm not really into seeing it, to tell you the truth. It's just a cultural event or not.

I'm interested in seeing it for my reasons are twofold. Number one is... Brokeback Mountain was a cultural event, and I didn't go see that. I saw it, and I enjoyed it. Well, that's not my point. But there's two reasons I want to see Black Panther. Number one is it is everybody's talking about it. Number two is it's hard to fill up an hour of podcast time,

but I figure if I can talk about Black Panther, that might be an interesting angle. It certainly could, and it's probably a higher probability of leading to material.

There's a lot of racial stuff underneath and cultural stuff, and you know, it could be fun. I think it could be an interesting discussion. Steven, is it possible maybe you find somebody

that's seen Black Panther? Just ask around the restaurant. Well, no, in terms of the comedians or maybe even the waitstaff. Well, I would imagine a lot of them have seen Black Panther. Jamie, have you seen Black Panther? Jamie, have you seen Black Panther? That's our new waitress, Jamie.

Hello, Jamie. Have you seen Black Panther? You have seen it? Would you mind sitting down for just a couple of minutes? I know you're busy. This is Jamie. She's a brand new waitress. Just hired her.

She's been here for six days. Don't feel pressured, by the way, if you don't want to be on our podcast. That's okay. Someone just needs wine right now. Yeah, just go closer to the mic. Just make sure you speak into the mic. This is Jamie, everybody. Hello.

A brand new waitress. A week old. A week old, yeah. And whether she'll last here, I don't know. But as I do know, well, the waitresses there either tend to leave quickly or they're here for 30 years. Or they're around for a waitress. Yeah, yeah. Which way it's going to break with Jamie?

I don't know. Where are you from originally? Arizona. Arizona. She seems like a nice girl. Everybody likes her. We all like her in Arizona. I've noticed she's been talking to us.

Wonderful people from Arizona. Anyway, you saw Black Panther. I did. With whom? Yes, I saw. My boyfriend. With your boyfriend. Okay.

And he is white? Very much so. Okay. All right. That's a great first question. Okay. And he is white? Very much so. Okay. Am I right? That's a great first question. Well, only because... And where'd you see it? Here in Manhattan?

Yeah, Times Square. And what was the composition of the theater as best as you can recall in the night in question? That question actually lends itself to sort of Dan wondering why anybody would go see that movie unless the women were black. No, not at all. But I know that it's popular in that community. As it is in the white community.

But I think it's more popular in the black community. I think that's not a crazy statement. I don't think it's crazy at all. I back it up entirely. So what was the composition of the theater in your recollection? There was a lot of black people. That's what you're asking. What part of town did you see it in?

It was Times Square. Oh, well, there's a lot of black people that see Superheroes in Times Square anyway, so I don't know that that's the best place to control for what the racial makeup was. I think if you went to see Superman, there were a lot of black people in the theater. You're saying if I went to see Remains of the Day in Times Square. No, sir. No, sir. I'm saying if you went to see a Marvel film, then yes.

Absolutely. Okay, anyway, so did you enjoy the film? I did. Did you? I don't want to admit it, but I fell asleep in it. Sounds like you were worth it. Sounds like you enjoyed it, yeah. Loved it.

Great movie. But yeah, I fell asleep. Well, you were very tired. You were so tired, in fact, that it overcame your absolute love of the movie. Apparently, she just flew in from Hong Kong and she was jet lagged. Oh, wow. Is that true? No, I made that up because that's the only answer. Oh, I see the way she...

I did not admit it. I was going to sit here and lie and say that I knew parts of it. I couldn't even tell you. In between dreams... Dan brings up a good point. If you loved it, how do you fall... I don't think I. I couldn't even tell you. In between dreams. Dan brings up a good point. If you loved it, how do you fall? I don't think I've ever

fallen asleep in a movie I was really enjoying. I fell asleep in one I like. I guess I loved the soundtrack. I woke up for a lot of the music. Okay. And that woke me up. But also their costumes

were amazing. Yeah, she didn't love the film. She didn't like the film. She loved the production and the music. The costumes, music. No, the music was wonderful. Yeah, yeah. She likes it the same way She didn't like the film. She loved the production and the music. She liked the costumes, music. No, the music was wonderful. Yeah, yeah.

She likes it the same way that people like cats on Broadway. Okay, so you're not a huge fan of Black Panther. I didn't say that. I just fell asleep. I'd have to re-watch it. But I just... You're a racist. You didn't like the movie.

Do you feel like she's afraid? You'll get back to us when you've seen the movie. And it was nice. But no, Jamie, thank you so much for stopping in and talking to us. And please, there's a customer there who's just dropped

out of thirst. She needs that wine. But thank you so much. That's Jamie, everybody from the great state of Arizona. She's just dropped out of thirst. We are the Comedy Cellar Podcast,

but we often delve into what's going on in the world. And I don't think one can avoid this week the huge news, the overwhelming news, the tragic news of what went on in Florida with the shooting at Parkland, at the high school in Parkland, Florida, and now here we are again as we've been so many times after

a shooting. What is there to say at this point, unless it's a conversation about gun controls or so many times after a shooting. Yeah. You know, wondering... Well, what is there to say at this point, unless it's a conversation about gun control? Is there anything we have to add to the conversation? Yes, there is. What? Gun control.

Oh, yeah, no, I'm saying... Yeah, so that's what the conversation is. What do you think the big... I mean, I can imagine if you're in Alaska or you hunt, you want a gun. But there seems to be extra fervor to have... Part of the narrative. It's like a two-door car. There's something about this country and the genesis of this country that seems that people are so...

What is that? They've internalized a love of guns. I remember I had guns as a kid. They were around and we really enjoyed them. And shooting at things. This whole thing with assault rifles is a natural extension of loving guns. People are curious about machine guns. They pay.

They rent them to shoot them. But as a country, why do we? I just don't imagine forefathers who had to put in powder and a musket to shoot one bullet. Well, here's the thing. It would be like, hey, we wanted you guys to have assault rifles. That's what's used as like, hey, the forefathers wanted us to do this. Yes.

But they wouldn't be at all able to imagine what they were talking about. Well, the context is so different. The forefathers were talking about, they were worried about tyranny of the majority, right? The tyranny of the mob. The tyranny of the mob. No, but also the government

because you come from an aristocracy in England and you were worried about people leveraging their political power and to keep them honest, you too should be armed. It was a bootstrap philosophy. But if that were the case, if the objective

were to be able to oppose the military, then we would have to arm the citizenry with F-15s and tanks. We no longer have it. I have two points. Number one is whether defense against tyranny was in the minds of the founding fathers when they drafted the Second Amendment, I don't think is necessarily 100% clear, but it is an oft-chated reason for the Second Amendment. That is to say, in case the government becomes tyrannical,

you have a defense. And I don't dismiss that out of hand. Well, I will dismiss that out of hand because we no longer can defeat the government. There's no way we have 15. I don't agree. You don't agree. No, because very often, especially in a guerrilla

war situation, a far lesser armed group can, in fact, stymie a far greater superior force, as we saw in Vietnam. Now, certainly, as we saw and see in Afghanistan, you know, if the government was sufficiently motivated, perhaps, and they brought out all the stops and were willing to suffer severe losses. Right. They might be able to bring the people to heel.

But, you know, you'd have to be very, very, very, very, very motivated to contain a population with guns that does not wish to be contained. Yeah. And, furthermore... I haven't heard that before. I think that makes sense, too. Well, I've heard it before. Even a government with nuclear weapons... Well, you nuke a country,

then you have nothing to rule over. Yeah. The wasteland and robots. Yeah, you'd be nuking yourself. You know, and... You get them in one state. And I think that the... And that state is Connecticut. And to demonstrate that it works,

I think, you know, That state is Connecticut. And to demonstrate that it works, I think, is the fact that very few people are talking about confiscating weapons. Why? Is that rhetorical? Rhetorical, but you can answer it anyway. Because then they could shoot you if you try to get in. Exactly. No, no, that's not why. No, no, that's not why.

It's because of the political will and the lobbyists and the power that gun owners have in this country. Yeah, but part of that power is because... Nobody's talking about limiting children either or having people test to become a competent father or mother. It's not because people don't think it. It's only because they know that it's so unachievable. They haven't sort of suggested that as a potential reality. A lot of people are suggesting to follow the Australian motto

which involved a buyback. I don't think it was confiscation. I think it was a buyback. They do that in certain communities here. Many times they'll advertise the idea that in poorer communities with a lot of violence they'll say you bring in a rifle, it's accident. If you bring in a pistol, it's twice as much as a... Right, I do want to address Kyle's point about...

Address, address. What is it about America and how much we love our guns, and we do. But I don't really know... In other words, I know a lot of people I see on Twitter and I see on Facebook, and of course the NRA talks about the Second Amendment and how important it is. I'm not sure exactly what percentage of the population feels as strongly as some of the loudest members of the NRA that you hear. I mean, it could well be that 70% of our population are gung-ho Second Amendment people. It could well be that 10%.

I don't know. I'm sure there are analytics on this. Yeah, but I haven't seen it. I've seen it. The Second Amendment, like we brought up before, it's not even what they're – they're going by a rule when there was no assault rifles. Yes, I know, I know, I know. I think they've hijacked the Second Amendment when we need... We have amendments because things change like the weapons.

They're different now. So you're suggesting... There's a reason that a 200-year-old book would have clauses. I mean, rather, a document that may not work in whatever our world is right now. In the year 2017 with the internet. You're suggesting we all...

You're suggesting we all get together and amend the Second Amendment. That's why we have amendments. I understand that, but it could well be that if we took a vote and decided what the Second Amendment should read, I don't know what it would say. In other words, if you asked every American what should the Second Amendment, if you had to craft from scratch a Second Amendment, ask every American, you have to drop a Second Amendment from scratch.

We don't have one. You never need... I don't know that they wouldn't say exactly what they... When do you need an automatic or a semi-automatic weapon? These deer can be very violent and... Kyle has to go on stage. All right. When do you need one?

You know, we probably don't need... An assault rifle? You don you need one? You know, we probably don't need, well. An assault rifle? You don't need one, but unless you're getting into this notion of tyranny of the government or a foreign invasion. The point has also been made that if a foreign power invades America, an armed population would be a nice addition to what the military already has. And in which case, you know, a semi-automatic rifle might come in handy. Okay, but if that were the case, then why stop at an AR-15, which is a semi-auto? Why not go right full M4, whatever the automatic version is? And why stop there?

Why don't we get rocket launchers? I mean, why isn't everything legal? I mean, again, if you're going to— You're exactly right. Yeah, I mean, the philosophy or the premise for the amendment. again, if you're going to... You're exactly right. Yeah, I mean, if the philosophy or the premise for the amendment... So what I think is what we need to do is follows. We need to revisit the Second Amendment. Yeah.

We need to have a country... By the way, what was there before there was an amendment? So if it was the Second Amendment... Well, because it was the Bill of Rights that came immediately. Okay, so soon after that, there was an amendment that said you have the right. Yeah, but the Bill of Rights came, like, right then. I see. Okay. Okay. I'm not familiar the Bill of Rights came, like, right then. I see. Okay.

Okay. I'm not familiar. I'm not a constitutional scholar, you understand. When they drafted the Constitution. Prior to that, it was English common law, which I don't know what that said. Hmm. Yeah. Which also, I think, gave you a right to bear arms.

Well, back then, you needed it to survive if you were hunting. You know, I mean, you know, it was more of a survival necessity. Right. I suppose so. But anyway, my suggestion is, is we all get together and and discuss and discuss the Second Amendment, what it should read. Because it's very ambiguous and nobody can seem to... Nobody seems to know what the intent of the founders was. There's a lot of controversy.

Isn't that a lot of what is being debated or what they're arguing about? The NRA is saying that we should experience this literally, right? I mean... Yes. You know, and just no difference in how everybody's interpreting the Bible. They're trying to use it for whatever their argument is. Even they would... I mean, even they allow for the fact that

fully automatic weapons are illegal. Well, they allow for it because they know that they couldn't get it passed. I don't know that they allow for it philosophically. Joe Mackey is here. Joe Mackey, one night on. Joe Mackey, you did not see. So sweet.

We're getting bogged down into gun control. I don't know if we're saying anything that hasn't already been said a billion times. We're not. We're not. Let's move on. But Joe Mackey has not seen Black Panther. I have not seen Black Panther. If anybody had seen it, we thought it might have been you.

I thought that you would have seen it. Shoo-in. He was a shoo-in for a guy that might have seen it. The superhero movies are getting worse and worse and worse. They're a racist. Because nobody gets hurt, so there's no consequences in them. But there never has been. That's why I can't get invested in the characters because they have got these 20-minute fight scenes for the international market.

I think you're 100% right. Where they're just fighting. They're fighting, fighting, fighting. Those fight scenes are not just for the international market. They're for right here% right. Where they're just fighting. They're fighting, fighting, fighting. Those fight scenes are not just for the international market. They're for right here in the good old USA. Okay, well, I... You know the demographic you're dealing with in this country? That's what they're for.

Don't insult our listeners. I like a little bit of romance. I like a little bit of drama. I like to... Someone's got to die in each show. I 100% agree. If I don't believe that the character has stakes, it's very hard for me to just watch somebody.

If they're shooting, they just shot you a thousand times. You didn't die. Yeah, they just threw you into a building, and the building fell apart. Yeah, so it's a music video after a while. Yeah, Iron Man is stronger than the building. Now, Joseph, but what about because Black Panther is such a cultural phenomenon,

aren't you at least curious? I know you're a curious person. I am. Sexually and otherwise. You're so funny, Dan. Sexually and otherwise. I'll just go sit over at the other table and finish my water. No, I'm curious what it's about.

I don't... It wasn't one of those movies I have to see in the theater. You know? Well, well, well. What's a movie that you have to see in the theater if it's not an action movie?

Gone with the Wind is the answer to that question. Metropolis. Do you honestly think that a movie is going to help or hurt this country? I just don't... I'm skeptical.

Well, that is interesting. Why has this movie become such a cultural phenomenon? We know why. I'll tell you one thing. These Jews are smart. They're good. They're good, boy. They say, you know, how much money we can make with a Hollywood

production. You take the temperature of the people. You take the temperature of the people and you say that the black community needs you. Well, you know what preceded this is, you know, with the power of these black shows that caught on. There's a demographic that's filled with millions and millions of people that don't have a black superhero to go buy a ticket on, there's a demographic that's filled with millions and millions of people

that don't have a black superhero to go buy a ticket to. It's a pretty obvious business model. Everyone rips on Tyler Perry, but he's giving clean, black, black character-based

family entertainment that there's a market for. Listen, there's no doubt about that. There's a big market for it, and that's why it's being given. I mean, at some point, you're going to see,

you know, Lolita Perez, the flying Latin, you know, circus something. I mean, at some point you're going to see, you know, Lolita Perez, the flying Latin circus or something. They'll come up with that ethnicity. As I understand it... From what little I know about this movie is the black community Wakanda that's in the film becomes

powerful and rich because of some metal. Who does? The Wakanda. Who's Wakanda? Boy, you really are out of it, aren't you? Wakanda is the kingdom... Do you know The Wakanda. Who's Wakanda? Boy, you really are out of it, aren't you? Wakanda is the kingdom. Do you know what Wakanda is? Is that the metal that they find in the earlier movie to make the shield for

Captain America? What movie? What earlier movie was there? There was a Black Panther before this? No, I don't think so. I'm thinking of... I'm getting my super... I'm thinking of X-Men. That's embarrassing. What happens

in Wakandu? I think there's an asteroid that hits with a special metal that allows them to be rich. What? I don't know. A metal? That was raised by a Jewish guy.

Let's say there was a meteor and it was made of gold and then you found the meteor, and then you get the... It was made of some super metal that could do super shit. Oh, I see. Okay, so the metal was part of the superpower. So in other words, Wakanda became rich not because of the genius of its inhabitants, but because of this metal, at least according to what I've read, which... With Saudi Arabia.

Right. So that's not exactly an empowering message, if that's the message. No, but the fact that there's a film at all that is a black protagonist is a cultural talking point. Right, but I thought that... It's like a black Barbie or somebody else. You feel represented. Plus, third world cultures have historically been ones that export their minerals and their mineral wealth out to Western countries or China with little financial benefit. No, no. They've had tremendous financial

benefit for the few. What you mean is there's not a tremendous benefit for the people that it never trickles down to. Right. Son of a bitches! Can we switch gears here a second? Of course. They talked about... Go ahead, Mackie. They said 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, but there's been like 10 movies that have come

out in the last couple of years. Who said that? I think the movie comes out. Nothing's ever gone that hot. What gets 100%? They figured out that if they stack the deck on Rotten Tomatoes before it comes out, it gets such a big, like, ooh, it's 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. It must be really good. But they did that with Star Wars.

Yeah, but I've known that. Anytime it didn't come out, it's often at 100%. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I think, aren't people hip to that? They still believe it's on a bill. Maybe they are. They still use it to sell the movie.

And I'm like, well, this can't be real. Really? Yeah. Because nothing... Well, it doesn't seem honest, 100%. You can't get 100% to think the Earth is round. It's so true. So, yeah, there's no way that 100% think...

That's funny. That could be a good premise. That's a good bit. Write that down. Well, I've got my notebook right here. Yeah, you can't get 100% able to present the paper. Literally, they agree on the earth. I just watched a Vice special where they have these conferences

where they get all the people together that don't believe that the earth is round. They believe it's flat. Have you seen it? Check it out on Vice. It's interesting. Do they believe it, or are they just trying to be like, you know? I don't know, but I'm sure some of them believe it. Are they trying to get attention?

I'll tell you who's not trying to get attention. These group stalker people. Look that up on Vice as well. They're convinced that other people. What's interesting about this is you can't prove to these people that they're crazy because they find all of this other like-minded community on the Internet. It's called gang stalking. So you believe that you have tinfoil in your head and that you're being followed,

and it's either the CIA or some group of spacemen, whoever, and they're stalking until you believe that you have tinfoil in your head and that you're being followed and that's either the CIA or some group of spacemen or whoever. That's crazy. And they're stalking you and then I find you on the internet and you go, I'm being stalked too. And now we affirm each other's paranoia and they're having such a tough time trying to get the people to mitigating their obsession. Do you know how vast conspiracy would have to be to say that the Earth was flat and we're like,

no, we've got to keep the people thinking it's round for whatever benefit there is to that. Yeah, exactly. That's right. Every astronaut, remember, the Earth, the Earth's round.

Well, these people are not big fans of logic. That's true. But I'm not convinced that most of these people sincerely believe the Earth is flat. Oh, yes. I think they just think

it's a fun thing. Okay, what about the gang stalkers? Well, I don't know anything about that. I'll have to research that, and I'll get back to you on that. You've got to research this. This is good. You'll enjoy that. Next week, if we have time after.

They're convinced. They're convinced. We're talking about people that are living on the streets sometimes. They're convinced. And then they go on the internet. It's a wild game out there. That is interesting. A lot of people with mental illness.

But you brought up the idea, Dan. You brought up the idea. I didn't joke, I think. People are involved. Whatever strange proclivity you had at some point in your life, before the internet, you had to go ask around. Yes, I did have that joke. I don't use it anymore.

It's a funny idea. I had a joke about how if you wanted an Asian woman to pee on you, you had to go on the street and say, hey, do you happen to know anybody? And with the gang stalking, you can now find other people to affirm your crazy experience. Maybe I should bring that joke back. Maybe you should bring it back. The problem is I'm doing a lot of corporate, so you've got to be clean.

No, no, but that's clean enough for corporate. It's kind of cute. You could change that, too. It doesn't have to be an Asian woman to pee on you. Why not? Because that's a little strong for a corporate audience. Oh, I see what you're saying. But the Asian's strong, not the pee.

Just find a woman to pee on you. Both the Asian and the pee are strong. Really? For a corporate audience, I believe so. You could dress up a golden shower bit under the best of circumstances. I don't see why not. Is that Forte? That's Forte.

Forte. Have you seen Forte? Forte. Have you seen Black Panther? Have you seen the Panther. Forte. Have you seen Forte? Forte. Have you seen Black Panther? Have you seen the Panther, Forte? Have you seen Black Panther? Could you just sit down and talk briefly with us, if you wouldn't mind, on our podcast? This is Forte.

He's a musician, I guess. Hey, what's up, guys? Right, Forte? Yeah. He works next door to the Cafe Noir. He works at the cafe Noir. How did you feel about the movie, Forte? We haven't seen it.

Oh, I loved it. Oh, yeah? Really good? Visually, I thought the acting was amazing. Yeah? I thought the idea of the story you are. The one next door. Now, how did you feel about the movie, Forte? We haven't seen it. Oh, I loved it. Oh, yeah? Really good? Visually, I thought the acting was amazing. Yeah? I thought the idea of the story was good.

And it held up? It held up. The superhero, it held up? A lot better. Cool. But the question I have is, as a black person, did you find it empowering

or a good message? Which everybody seems to be talking about. There was a good message. What was the message? Yeah, it was basically like, put our differences aside. You know, you had five different tribes in the movie. No, we don't know about it.

We don't know about it. No spoilers. And, you know, they had their conflict, but at the end they knew how to resolve the issues without taking it too far. There was one brother that he just wanted to take it very far. Yeah. So the message is we should all get along.

Yeah. Well, that's a good is we should all get along. Yeah. Well, that's a good message. I can get behind that message. Yeah, but the cultural talking point that you're referring to is the idea of a black superhero. But why do you think it's resonating so much in the black community? Why wouldn't it? I was born in 1975. I don't remember a black superhero.

If you look towards WWF wrestling, remember they had the Junkyard Dog. Yeah, I remember the Junkyard Dog. J-Y-D. Booker T. All this. Nothing really to inspire. When you let your imagination run through with it, it's a good thing to see. It was a more positive aspect to see in the community than what you regularly used to see.

Makes perfect sense. Okay. And you seen it once so far? Are you going to see it again? I'm going to go back and see it. I saw it last night. 3D. $21.

Great experience. Popcorn, $9. That's an expensive night. I mean, you're paying for these new plush seats that were climbed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's worth it, though. Those plush seats are nice. There's the popcorn that's expensive, but the seats are worth it.

Yeah, it was definitely a good experience. I recommend everybody should see it. All right. Yeah, don't think too much about politics when you go see it. Be a kid again. Have an imagination. Dove's kid days are well behind him. He's got no sense of wonder.

He's got no sense of wonder. But I still have a little bit. And I know Joe has quite a bit. Oh, lots of dreams still to be dreamt. I still want the golden ticket. There you go, the golden ticket. That's a reference, of course, to the chocolate factory. Charlie Wonka.

Willy Wonka. Thank you, Forte. Dan, pleasure. Good to see you. Finally, we found somebody that saw Black Panther. I guess that's it. We were out of time Thank you Get his book

And Joe Mackey stopped in Thank you You're a man of character Find him on the social media He's a social media darling At Joe Mackey I guess M-A-C-H-I on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. M-A-C-H-I.

And Kyle left because he's performing. So, and Stephen Calabria, any final words? Thank you very much. All right, everybody. We'll see you next time on The Comedy Show Show.