The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Lewis Schaffer

Episode Date: September 16, 2022

Lewis Schaffer is an American comedian and broadcaster, based in Nunhead, south-east London, where he moved in 2000.

This is Live from the Table, recorded at the world-famous Comedy Cellar, coming at you on SiriusXM 99. Raw Dog! And on the Laugh Button Podcast Network, Dan Aderman here. And with me, Noam Dorman, the owner, the proprietor of the world-famous Comedy Cellar. Hello, Daniel. He didn't set out to be a comedy club owner, and yet he became the most successful one in the world. But that's a story for another day.

We have Periel Ashenbrand with us, our producer. But again, Noam has an issue with that title. She doesn't feel that Periel is a producer. In reality, he's not convinced that she's actually producing anything. But that rather she just books guests and gets water. Louis Schaefer is with us. She doesn't even get water, right? No, I don't know.

A very special guest, Louis Schaefer, a legend, a comedy seller legend. Louis Schaefer, yay! Yay, yay. He's been on the show before, but I don't think he's been on in person before. No, I was in person. I was in person. The last time I was here, five years ago. Yeah, the last time you were in town.

That was a long time ago. I didn't make a good impression back then. Talk closer to the five years ago. I didn't make a good impression back then. Talk closer to the mic, Lewis. We'll probably repeat some of the same stories. They bear repeating. Lewis Shaver, he lives in England now. He works at Nunhead American Radio, which is... You call it working.

And on the Resonance FM out of London. Yes. And a commentator on GB News TV in Britain. What's GB News TV in Britain? GB News is like the new Fox Broadcasting. It's an actual thing. It's a right-wing, basically.

But they try to be more moderate. It's a right-wing thing. You're a pretty right-wing guy. I have become writer and writer and writer of the wing. But I don't want to get... You always were more than I was. I would say this. Whatever can get a laugh, I would get it.

If people believe something, I'm going to say that they're wrong. I'm a contrarian with a base line. I don't know if I'm right-wing. Let me tell you something more. You have to be nice to me. Okay? Because the Germans are coming. Okay?

Yeah. You think they're not coming? You think they're not going to be invading you guys again over Europe? You think that they're going to let this shit go? No, they've got to make... And I'll tell you, the French, they hate your fucking guts. They hate your fucking guts. Right? Then you know that. Okay? Why do they hate your guts? I'll show you how much they hate your fucking guts. Right? Then you know that. Why do they hate your guts?

I'll show you how much they hate your guts. Because they're willing to hang with the Germans over you. Over you. Every few years the Germans come in and beat the shit out of them. And they still would rather hang out with the Germans than me. They still would rather hang out with the Germans. And still would rather hang out with the Germans. And why did you want to join? Why did you want to join the EU?

There's only one reason why. You don't even know, sir. I'm gonna tell you why. I'm gonna tell you why. Because the French and the Germans didn't want you. That's why. They didn't want you. They didn't want you.

But because you're British, and not used to having any affection from your family, because your mothers didn't love you, anybody who pays any kind of attention, even negative attention, when I say you're shit, you love it. You love it because it's something. It is something.

It is some kind of human emotion directed your way. And just please pay attention to me. That's why after the show you're going to go and you're going to spank each other's motherfucking bottoms. And you're going to think that's what love is. It's being abused. It's being abused. You, sir, freak of diabetes. You freak of it. I don't know. I, you know, I don't believe in reek of it. I don't know. I don't believe in the COVID.

Sorry. I don't believe in the COVID. Oh, my God. Are you crazy? Yeah. I don't believe in COVID. I'll tell you. Go step in.

What do you mean you don't believe in COVID? You said you had it twice. I said I had what they would diagnose as COVID. What they would diagnose as COVID. What would you diagnose it as? I would diagnose it as a bit of natural group hysteria. That's not what I would think it was. Check, please.

I read it to Greg Rugell on the way here. I told him this. And he said, oh, you're right wing. I didn't say anything about anything. He said, I'll tell you something. But even right wing people, like Governor DeSantis, doesn't believe it's a fraud. He just believes that we overreact to it in some way.

And he's, you know, in retrospect, which is the key, he might be correct in certain ways, certain things that we did. But very few people say that it doesn't exist. I mean, they can identify. There's a test that shows a positive or negative for it. You can't test for hysteria. That test is

based on DNA testing that was done like 20 years ago. Just to put this in perspective, Louis Schaefer also believes the Earth is how old, Louis? 300 million years old? I believe the Earth is basically in its form is only a few thousand years old.

I'm getting Noam's expression on his face. Well, you know what I'm thinking about? And this is such a profound, profound, profound lesson. And it's very hard for me to learn. I don't think I can ever learn it or internalize it. Lewis is a very bright guy. If you were to give him an IQ test, he would definitely score in the top 10% at least. Sure, wouldn't be off the charts, but it would be respectable. It could be higher, it could be top

5%, not top 1% maybe, but maybe. No, no. I remember years ago, Lewis, we were talking about like geography of New York, and Lewis drew me on the table a perfect map of Manhattan Island going into the Bronx, where the bridges were, the shape of them. This was like, you know,

I remember when, just as a digression, when Bill Clinton was negotiating with the Arabs and the Jews, Clinton drew maps of the West Bank, and people were talking about it. Oh, my God, this guy's a genius. He's drawing these maps. Louis Schaeffer did that, and he wasn't even preparing for a meeting. So the guy's very, very bright. So my point is that very, very, very bright people can be totally out to lunch on some stuff. The guy's very, very bright. So my point is that very, very, very bright people. Can be.

Can be totally out to lunch on some stuff. Of course. And they ingeniously know how to bob and weave so you can't pin them down, you know? Oh, you can pin me down. But, I mean, Lewis, this is crazy talk. I'd go even further than this. Please do. I am 96% sure that I do not believe in viruses as a causal agent of many diseases.

I mean, I'm not sure about all diseases, but AIDS. I don't believe in AIDS. So how do the AIDS drugs work? The AIDS drugs do... Well, a lot of those AIDS drugs don't believe in AIDS. So how do the AIDS drugs work? The AIDS drugs do... Well, a lot of those AIDS drugs don't work. I mean, the reason why people died so much with AIDS... Can we not discuss this? I'll discuss it.

With AIDS, okay? Is the reason people died so much back in the day is they started to give people AZT, which killed people. Okay, maybe some... I don't think about that. I don't think that's true. But now, today,

people live with AIDS when they used to die, and that's, the difference is the drugs, no? People who don't take the drugs continue to die. No, because there is no such thing as AIDS. I know so many people

who died of AIDS. I mean, like, so many people who are dear to me, how can you say it's not true? And so do I. That doesn't mean they didn't die. That doesn't mean they didn't die horrible deaths and we should feel sorry for them and love those people.

I'm the same age as you. I mean, I'm older than you. I remember all these people who died. So what did they die of? They died of hysteria at the time, which told people they were going to die, number one. They said, you've got AIDS, you're going to die. What about Kaposi's sarcoma all over their faces?

Kaposi's sarcoma, there's something called, this is a comedy show. Oh, this is funny. But Kaposi's, can I say thank you for calling me really intelligent? I don't agree with you, but I'll say thank you. I'll say thank you for calling me really intelligent. I don't agree with you, but I'll say thank you. I'll say thank you. Is that carposis sarcoma is, it's called terrain syndrome, which is the opposite of germ syndrome, which is people under stress, people who are being malnourished,

people who are living horrible lives. Bad things happen to their bodies. They break out in rashes. They break out in ulcers. And then what they do is they look at the ulcer and they say, oh, this is a virus that's in the ulcer. It must have caused it. When the truth is, they were just unhelped.

Can you say something that they would allow on Twitter, please? Say one thing that we need. I would like to, even though we've done this before, I would like to just give a brief history of Louis Shaver's association with the comedy. Your wife left you, right? Yeah. I have no idea why. Everybody, your father left me, too.

Louis Shaver. Can I just say this, Dad? Go ahead. Is that whatever I say, it's no taking away from the humanity of the people who have suffered during the COVID crisis. Oh, I get it. I'm not taking it that way. Okay. I don't want people listening and thinking, oh, he doesn't care,

he doesn't care about AIDS. So let it be said that Louis Schaefer might be a nutter, but he's not without empathy. Exactly. Louis Schaefer... Thank you, Dan.

Louis Schaefer was my first friend in comedy, my first friend in stand-up comedy. Oh, I love that. Awards and all, I accept him. Is that why we keep

having him on? Yes, because... That's not even a joke. We know that. And then he came to the Comedy Cellar and he started, on his own initiative, bringing people into the Comedy Cellar. He would go on the street and harass people

and bring them in. Beautiful people, come to the Comedy Cellar. We've got a great show. Nobody asked him to do this. He just started doing it because he's a little, you know, he's out there. And he would bring people in. And your father, Manny, at the time, the Comedy Cellar wasn't what it is today. They were literally sometimes completely empty rooms, sometimes half full.

So Louis Schaefer, him bringing people in from off the street was a very necessary thing. He turned the club around. My father always said so. Louis Schaefer turned the club around. But it was something that could be turned around. It was a ship in the water. It had everything. And it would have turned around.

I hate to say this, but it would have turned around eventually. Maybe, maybe not. Well, I think so. You don't know that. Of course I don't know that for sure. But anyway, so Louis Schaefer became so valuable that Manny let him emcee every show during the week. And in between emceeing, he'd go on stage, he'd do his shtick, he'd bring out the comics, and he'd run outside and go, beautiful people, we got a beautiful show coming. Beautiful black man.

He would go to black people and say, beautiful black man. You're so chocolatey black man. Now he doesn't believe in race. Well, we'll get to that later. And his whole shtick was that he wasn't gay, but was he gay? I'm not gay, but make me an offer. But he was so annoying, ultimately, that Manny had to get rid of him. It went to his head.

But Lewis has acknowledged that and apologized and done a mea culpa. Yeah, it it went to my head it went it didn't i tell you what i thought i thought what i i thought i thought i was uh i was i wasn't uh like your father said to me he said everyone is replaceable even me he said that all right and that what I thought. I thought I wasn't replaceable. It's the same thing. It's like my my thinking is my thinking about these AIDS thing or COVID thing. I'm just like, I just get in my head and this is what I'm thinking. And sometimes I'm right. And sometimes I'm too right. Now, I'm going to tell my kids and among the various wisdom, I'm going to leave them with that. When your boss says to you that everyone's replaceable, it's probably time to pull back. That's probably a hint

that you're not long for this job. There's a message there. Well, Paul McCartney wasn't replaceable. Pete Best was. And maybe Ringo was, arguably. I mean, you don't think without Ringo... George was probably replaceable.

Yeah, George was. But the point is... Maybe, maybe, maybe. I said it to my wife, you know, when my wife said to me, I'm divorcing you. I didn't really believe her, really. So Louis Schaefer, he got a job around the corner at the other comedy club, which was called the Boston Comedy Club, even though it was located in New York,

which some people find amusing. And he met a woman and after three months, like you barely knew this woman woman and you decided I'm going to get married and move to England. Well, you know what? What possessed you to get married to a woman you barely knew and moved to England? Because I was one of those people, you know, most comedians are trying to get, you know, they're trying to get a girl through comedy. And I just, I'm one of those people who couldn't get a girl through comedy. I wasn't, I didn't know. And she, she had sex with me the first night that i met her and i thought she loved me and i didn't realize what english women were you know she i think english

women are whores is that what you're trying to say my kids might listen girls have sex on the first night it's not i was i'm old school i'm like 90 years old you know what i mean i'm old school i don't know i just thought she loved me and loved me. She promised to give me money in Britain. I needed a plan B. I was at the Boston Comedy Club and I didn't know where to go. We were doing okay there, but I didn't know where to go next. Well, that is interesting because he was not able to turn

the Boston Comedy Club around. That's not true. You did turn it around? Yes. It was quite busy. We had three shows. We weren't successful. I remember, I hear the last time I told a story about how your father used to drive by on the way from Ardsley. He would drive by down West 3rd Street next to the Boston Comedy Club. And I'd be outside, you know, hustling for customers.

And he would say to me, he'd say to me, Lewis, Lewis, look, I've gotten a new car. It's a Lexus. And he'd drive on. And then the next time he came by, he says, Lewis, Lewis, we've added a third show on Saturday. And then he would drive by. He said, Lewis, Lewis, do you know who was here last night at the comedy cellar? Jerry Seinfeld.

And I thought to myself, Jews do drive-by gloatings. My father was so funny. Yeah. I mean, while we're telling stories, I've told this story before, but I never get used to it. When he was dying of, I don't know if you've heard it, when he was dying of cancer, he went to get radiation treatment. And radiation treatment is in the, I don't know if you believe in that or not, but anyway. I don't believe in it. I don't know if you believe in that or not. I don't believe it. I don't believe it.

Why would you do something that causes cancer with cancer? Fair enough. But it didn't work out. And it makes your last days miserable. So the radiation is in the basement of the hospital. Yeah. And apparently it takes a lot out of you. So after the radiation, he was like this,

like slumped over in the wheelchair, barely conscious. And we wheel him out, and we're in an elevator, and there's two women, Muslim women with burqas on. And my father, somehow he looks up, and he looks at the two women with burqas, and then my father, somehow he looks up and he looks at the tomb with burqas and then he turns to me and he goes, where are the other 70? I mean,

you can't, like, he did that. Passed out from radiation. First class joke. Where are the other 70? You know, and I mean, you know, this was... And then immediately slumped over again. This was a real talent. Yeah. And he died

very young. He was young. Relatively young. Well, 72, which if I were 20, I would have said that's... He had a, you know, he... He had a long life, but as you get older, you realize it's not that long. It's earlier than life expectancy would be for a 70-year-old.

You know, your life expectancy always goes off into the future. Goes into the future as you get to a certain age. With the average age of a man is like 70. Look, he was in good, like, up until the last three months, he was in good shape. He was in very good shape, yeah. And so nobody would have expected it. Well, what was his diet?

Let's talk about that. Bad diet, bad diet. No, you tell me what was a bad diet, because sometimes I think a bad diet could be a good diet. Alcohol and beef. No, that's half a bad diet. So it's the alcohol. Did he smoke cigarettes back in the day? He smoked a lot when he was younger.

Then he smoked weed when he was older, so I don't know. Yeah, so there you go. I mean, but the alcohol is a thing. No, he wasn't a heavy drinker. But whatever it is, so what else was it? It was probably the smoking when he was young. Also, sometimes cancer gets you. And again, maybe Louis Shaver disagrees.

But sometimes cancer will get you despite your best efforts. You know what? That's what they're selling us on. I don't believe in that. I don't believe it. I think that there are three things, four things that we have to watch out for, which is the food that we're eating, getting enough sun, reducing stress, and sleep. Those are the main things.

And, yeah, you can get it. Let's say you got all those things. I agree with all those things. Yeah, you might be nutritionally deficient. You have not enough magnesium or whatever. Well, you might agree with the notion that we need to watch what we eat, but you probably disagree with Lewis's particular diet. Are you saying, Lewis, that you don't believe cigarettes cause lung cancer?

I do believe that. No, I do believe that they cause lung cancer. What am I, an idiot? And I do believe that. I do believe that. And I believe alcohol is very bad for you. But I also think... At all?

Even in very small... Was there alcohol involved in that woman sleeping with you on her first date? Of course there was. She's English. Like any alcohol? Or you're saying like in moderation these things are okay? No. Any alcohol is bad for you. A glass of wine, they say, might be good for you. We didn't bring Louis Schaefer

on to discuss things that he has no competence on. I mean, we could talk about space exploration, too, but you know. The problem is, Dan. I bring Louis Schaefer on to talk about Louis Schaefer. Go ahead, go ahead. And you have to

start with... With diet. No, no, no. I never see Dan laugh so hard to the point where he is almost crying. Where he has told now, I've heard it at least twice, the Louis Schaeffer story.

And the Rick Crome song. The Rick Crome song, which I've probably told before, but I'll do it again. Is Rick Crome, our own Rick Crome, very talented comedian slash songwriter, whatever. He wrote a theme song for Louis Schaeffer when Louis Schaeffer was the emcee here. There was actually an opening theme song when Louis came on the. He wrote a theme song for Louis Schaefer when Louis Schaefer was the emcee here.

There was actually an opening theme song when Louis came on the stage and a closing theme song when Louis got off the stage. So the opening theme song was like, well, they were similar, I guess, but it was like, Louis Schaefer, Louis Schaefer, let's all give a cheer.

Clear the way for Louis Schaefer. Louis Schaefer's here And then And then The closing theme song was You know something about Let the love flow Yeah

Louis Schaefer He's not really gay Yeah because his whole act Was how he wasn't gay With a wink and a nod Turns out he really wasn't gay As far as we know But anyway

Well well well Too early to tell So there was One time Where Louis Schaefer He's on the stage And he's bombing Like

Which was his want Horrifically Want But more so than usual He's just So there was one time where Louis Schaefer, and he's bombing, like, terrifically. But more so than usual, they hated him. They detested him. And then after his set, they cue the song. Because that was the standing ovation. They do the song. So after he finishes annoying them for ten minutes, he goes, Hey, let the love flow. And it's long. to do the song. So after he finishes annoying them for 10 minutes, he goes, da-da-da-da-da-da,

hey, let the love flow. And it's long. And Esty comes down. I've never heard Esty this, this, this, you know,

frantic before. He goes, turn it off! Turn it off! Esty hated Louis. Hated me. She still hates me. I saw her the other day.

She hates me. Esty does not forgive. She doesn't forgive. Oh my God. She's like, sorry, she's like a Palestinian. She still hates me. I saw her the other day. She hates me. She does not forgive. She doesn't forgive. Oh, my God. She's like, sorry. She's like a Palestinian. She's a Palestinian related to Israel. So, anyway.

Now, Rick Rome. Can I just say something? Rick Rome is, this is typical of Louis Schaefer, ungrateful. I basically stopped him from working for a bit while I was doing my thing. And he wrote a song for me. He's the loveliest guy in the world. It's just, you know, I think what's happened is I've reached the age of 65. I look amazing.

And I realize I am psychologically deficient. You know what I mean? Do you go to therapy? I don't go to therapy. realize I am psychologically deficient. You know what I mean? It's like, do you have, you go to therapy? I don't go to therapy. What I do is I take online computer tests, which tell me that I'm like 99. I'm the highest percentage narcissistic, the highest percentage psychopathic, the highest percentage, uh, uh, paranoid. I've got like a, let's take them one at a time. You're narciss narcissist. Now, do you have good relations with your kids? I do.

No, you don't. I do. I mean, I really wish the kids were here. The kids are downstairs. They seem to be very fun to be with. But usually, narcissists are not able to maintain good relationships with their children. I'll tell you what I think it is. I think I'm a narcissist.

And so when I take these tests, I think I'm all these horrible things that I am. Right? When in reality, I'm not as bad as I think that I am. Well, you named your kids Carnegie and Columbus. Yeah. Which I don't know if you necessarily were thinking of them at the time. Yeah. Because, first of all, the name Columbus is now, you might as well have named him Hitler or something. I mean, Columbus is now like public enemy number one. He didn't know that at the time. Because, first of all, the name Columbus is now, you might as well have named him Hitler

or something. I mean, Columbus is now like public enemy number one. He didn't know that at the time. I didn't know that at the time, but it was only 20 years ago. I should have known. I should have known. And the other kid is Carnegie, who was a steel baron, which I guess is okay. Yeah.

I mean, he's not as bad as Columbus. But anyway. He's a library in most places. That's what he is. They seem very, very sweet and well-adjusted, frankly. But anyway. He's a library in most places. They seem very, very sweet and well-adjusted, frankly. They do. I mean, if you're going to judge a man by his children...

Sorry, go ahead. You have to give Lewis some credit. I mean, he's called Trump a narcissist, convincingly called Trump a narcissist. But when I did some research at the time into what are the actual symptoms of narcissism, one of the things it says

is that they very rarely are able to have good relationships with their children. And so it was interesting to me that Trump actually, except for Tiffany, who knows what's up with that, seems to have a lot of loyalty from his children. Yeah. Which, I mean, cynical people say, oh, because of his money, blah, blah, blah. But it's not that easy, you know?

Like, it makes me think that there's some side of him which is we don't understand. For instance, Ronald Reagan did not have good relationships with his children. No. And Lewis's children, he brought them to America because they've literally never seen the country. Columbus was here when he was very little. Carnegie's never been here. And so Lewis brought them here to see. And you brought them.

How did it go today with your sister, Emily? You saw them. This is the first time they've met their Aunt Emily. And I bring this up because Lewis and Emily, I think, are estranged. I mean, they're sisters. We're not really estranged. But when was the last time you spoke to your sister before arranging for this meeting? I don't really speak to my sister that much.

I mean, she's my sister. Would she call you a narcissist? I tell you, I speak to my sister so infrequently. She might. I wouldn't call myself a narcissist. I would call myself a person who thinks they're a narcissist. That's another category of what kind of person thinks they're a narcissist. I think that I'm paranoid.

I think I'm all the crazy. Well, you're not normal. There's no doubt there. What are you paranoid about? That's coming from Dan. Yeah. I'm paranoid that people are, not that they're out to get me, but they hate me. They hate me.

Well. I don't even know. Can we change the subject? I don't think people hate you. I never knew anybody hated you. You really irked my father. But he never hated you.

But Esty did. Esty hated him because he was... Because I basically usurped her responsibility. You did it without any attempt to be diplomatic or to put her at ease. Right, right.

And I didn't, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying I don't have any of the social graces that I need to have. But you seem to be willing to take responsibility and sort of, you seem sort of apologetic. It's all part of this kind of act. No, I think no, that's not. When you talk that way, it kind of like, it's diabolical. It could be, it could be that. But you know what? No, I think no. When you talk that way, it kind of like it's diabolical. It could be. It could be that. But you know what? No, I actually do believe it.

But is that going to mean I'm going to not have... He's quite aware that he can soften it by pretending to be introspective to people. But actually, it's all part of the narcissism. I don't agree with that, no. I do not agree with that. I think that is one thing that people could do

and you could perceive me as doing this. I actually, if I had to go, listen, between you and me and Esty, I mean, you know, I'd like Esty to like me for the sake of coming back to the place here, to being welcomed at least. Forget about this place exists. I don't want anybody hating me.

I think that's true. You know, I don't hate you. My father doesn't hate you. Esty doesn't hate you. No, I... She resents you. She resents me. I don't like the idea that I'm in a room

with somebody who doesn't like me, whoever it is. Well, look, I mean, I wish that... You know, not everybody is able to let bygones be bygones. And the flip side of Esty not letting bygones be bygones, which is hard for her, is that she's fiercely loyal. Yeah. is beyond question bleeds not just comedy seller but Dwarven really

loyalty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you made her uneasy and that was a dark period for her. Yes, which is... And she can't... It's visceral to her.

We're talking about this but I don't think anybody's said exactly what Lewis did. As Lewis was so lauded for turning the place around, and my father was gushing around, whoever it is, Esty felt, I don't know this, but I think that Lewis might have designs at replacing her. Yeah, which was not the case. Well, I don't know, but what Esty should have known,

she probably knew it intellectually, but it's so hard. My father would have never in a million years done that, no matter whatever, no matter what. When my father was sick in the hospital, one of the last sentences he said was to make sure I look after Esty. He did not Louis.

Yeah. But, you know, people get paranoid or worry, you know. Yes, this is the point I'm making. Back to me. I don't want people to dislike me. I would say that that's true. Nobody wants anybody to dislike them. No, but I don't want Esty to look at me and to say,

I don't like the idea that I made Esty uncomfortable. My job in this world is to bring love. I ran into Greg Rogel out in the street. I said to him, he spoke about COVID. I said, I don't believe in COVID. He got all upset. He got all upset with me and he walked away. It's hard to get Rogel upset.

Is it real? Is that true? He's being sarcastic. He got all upset. But in this case, I don't blame him for getting upset. I wouldn't get upset, but it's kind of absurd. Yeah, it's absurd, but he got upset. He said, you know what, you're like a Trump or whatever it is, and the answer's, you know, I'm not even talking to you over this.

And so I had feelings. Are you vaccinated? No. But you know that's an inflammatory thing to say. I mean, you know that's going to rile people up. Well, that's all right. You can say what you want. No, of course.

But to then be, I mean, surprised that somebody's going to get upset, like, seems... Well, first of all, it's Louis Schaefer. And you've got to understand that it's just crazy old Louis Schaefer. Yeah, it's because... So, I mean, how would you be upset by what Louis Schaefer is saying? Because it's on my mind. On my mind is COVID. You mentioned COVID.

I'm going to think about COVID. I'm not vaccinated. I'm not vaccinated. Louis Schaefer is saying. Because it's on my mind. On my mind is COVID. You mentioned COVID. I'm going to think about COVID. I'm not vaccinated. I'm not vaccinated. Louis Schaefer. Is that should I not be here if I'm not vaccinated? It doesn't matter anymore. The variants go right through the vaccine. Unless Nicole has an issue with it.

I mean, you should worry because you could die, but I don't think it matters anymore in terms of protecting against the vaccine. Louis Schaefer. Now, you moved to England. but I don't think it matters anymore in terms of protecting against infection. Louis Schaefer, now you moved to England, you had two sons and you kind of had to stay in England because you had your sons. But your sons are now grown men.

Grown beautiful men. Beautiful boys. Not gay. You don't have to be in England anymore. You can come back to the land of your birth, the land that you love. I could do it. Maybe more often I could do it.

I'm doing quite well there in a weird kind of way because I'm making films. I'm in films. Well, he's doing background work. What was this fantastic show? You found a bunch of letters from your mother. What was it? That was the thing. My mother, when I moved there, my mother was writing me lonely letters.

I miss you every, you know. And it was like just too much. I couldn't do anything about it because I was battling with the mother of my children. And we had two kids. It was one of the worst times I'd ever been through, ever.

It was like I was on, it was on, it was, if you list the 10 things that causes stress in life, that causes death, I had like nine of them. Okay, so what happened with the letters? You did a show based on them? So I did a show. So my mother wrote letters.

I never opened the letters. I couldn't do it. Every night he would open a letter that his mother sent him on stage. And then so in Edinburgh, if you've ever gone, you should go to the Edinburgh Festival. It's the most amazing comedy experience. People do shows. They do our shows and a different show every year. And there are 22 shows a month in the month.

And I would read a different letter and then just talk about this letter. Some of them had like, you know, your father, you know, he's a horrible man. And then she included a picture of a knife. Then one time she sent me a letter that was meant for her rabbi. Like a six-page letter for her rabbi. Sent it to the wrong person? Sent it to the wrong person.

And it was just, it was brilliant. This is what I'm trying to do in my comedy life. I'm trying to do something different every single year, every single different time. You know, and that's... Albert, you've got to take the cajon too, okay? Yeah, go ahead. I think if I had stayed here,

I would have been doing the same thing. I would be perfecting the same thing. Would you still be the not gay guy? I wouldn't be the not gay guy. I'm not the not gay guy in London. Right, but you told me that you don't think that the Not Gay Act would have worked in London. It wouldn't have worked. Let me just give you an example of one of Lewis's jokes so you understand what I mean by the not gay guy.

Because it was not gay with a wink and a nod. He would say, like, I'm not gay. I want to be gay. You know why? Men. That was probably. Right. So, you know, that's his whole thing.

Is he gay? Is he not gay? I mean, it's brilliant because it's like with the COVID thing, whatever I believe. Does he really believe in a virus not being a virus? Does he really not believe in it? Does he really believe in it? But you went to England and you abandoned the not gay thing. Because English people are not religious people.

In this country, the gay thing... I don't know how it would be even now, but the gay thing 20 years ago was like, ooh, like tickly it was tickly to people there they didn't care and also they saw it as kind of some kind of attack on gay they didn't see it as an attack but it was like like the same thing with with racial jokes in britain they don't racial there's no if you're not if you point somebody out for being different, they don't want to know that they're different. People don't want to be different.

They want to be whatever, I'm the same as you. Everybody wants to be the same as you. That's healthy. It's different. It's a bit boring because people are different. What about Jews? They like a good Jewish joke, right? They like a good Jewish joke in context they like a good jewish joke in context

of like these are jewish jokes there's like comedians that go on and they have like entire shows where they just tell jewish jokes that audience is prepared to hear jewish do you think god know him that in 2022 lewis is not gay act would have the same resonance or would people immediately feel uneasy because he's any any time you talk about being gay or not being gay, part of the gag was is that there was almost, in a way it was, I want to say homophobic, but the idea that you're using being gay as a punchline and something maybe that's not gay,

but sir, meet me in the bathroom. These were his jokes. I'm going to say the obvious. Harrison Greenbaum stole his act. No, he did not. I mean, not literally, but he's basically, and I don't mean he stole it, but he's basically been doing the Harrison Greenbaum

not gay thing for a while, and it does work because now Lewis... No, but it's very, very different because Harrison doesn't do that kind of material where he says he's not gay and then says something where he's completely gay. Like, I'm not gay, sir.

I'll see you in the bathroom after the show. Yeah, he doesn't do that. But his gimmick, not his gimmick, but for a while, I haven't seen his act in a while, but for a while he was doing this, basically playing off the fact

that he was perceived as probably being gay. Well, in that sense, it's similar. Now, Lewis, I was going to say, Lewis has blossomed into a more masculine aura. So I don't think it would work simply because he just doesn't... He doesn't seem as gay anymore. He doesn't seem as gay. He had the

blazer and he really seemed gay. My father was convinced he was gay. My father died convinced of Lewis being gay. His last words, Lewis Schaefer. It's Lewis Schaefer gays. It was a little more bawdy than that. But the other thing is, especially to the younger generation,

is nobody really cares that much if you're gay or not gay anymore. Oh, they care. No, it's much more fluid. They don't care in the sense that they don't like them. No, no, no, no. They don't care. The idea of a guy't like them. No, they don't care. The idea of a guy that seems gay but is denying he's gay is still kind of funny.

That's very funny. That's very, very funny. What I thought was funny about it was it was folded. It was like, not gay, gay, folded, not gay. The audience is like, their brain has exploded. I hope when it worked and when I was getting better at it, I wasn't a

comedian for very long at the time. I'd only started. You didn't start with an IK act. You started with a regular act. Yeah, because I didn't know. I didn't say this. And I morphed into it. Anyway, the point is... Because people were telling you, Louis, you're gay. It was funny. It was funny. But if I had... Because I've gotten more... Because I had two kids

and I've gotten more masculine in a weird kind of way, is that if I have to pretend that I'm gay in order for that to work, do I have to like shave extra hard? Do I have to flounce around? And I guess we shouldn't imply that gay men are not masculine. I mean, this is a minefield, but let's get to the retrograde ejaculation. Oh God. So this is a real phenomenon.

What is that? Well, it's a men, they ejaculate backwards into their kidneys or something, right? I don't know. I don't know. I haven't. Why are we bringing that up with Louis Schaaf? Why are you interested? Oh, Louis Schaaf, you have that or you're just joking?

He believes in that. I believe it. I don't even believe in that because I do. It's probably what I that. I don't even believe in that because it's probably what I have. I don't know. You mean it's not coming out? Is there like a sucking sound? No. Here's what happened to me.

I was very unhealthy five years ago and I changed my diet completely. And I stopped eating all vegetables, all grains, all... You stopped eating vegetables. You're doing the opposite of what they tell you to do. I'm doing basically what Jordan Peterson... And eating all red meat, pretty much. I'm eating red meat. I eat only...

I eat a pound and a half of red meat a day. I eat five to eight to ten eggs a day. I eat fish and I eat... I drink milk and I have cheese. And I don't eat any vegetables. And ever since that happened, that's why I think I look pretty good for a man my age. Because of that. And all

the problems that I had went away. You still have very high blood pressure. I still have high blood pressure. But that's a symptom. But Louis Schaefer doesn't believe in high blood pressure, but he doesn't think it's an issue. Why? It's not a disease, high blood pressure. It's either a symptom. But Louis Schaefer doesn't believe in high blood pressure. He believes in high blood pressure, but he doesn't think it's an issue. Why? It's not a disease, high blood pressure.

It's either a symptom or it's a mitigating factor for other things. So everything got better except you developed this retrograde ejaculation. Including rock hard. I am now rock hard. Why are you looking at me when you say that? As we speak, you're rock hard. And you get rock hard. I don't want to say because Periola and I have just met for the first time.

But she's a married woman. Dan, looking at Dan, getting rock hard. So I'm rock hard. And it doesn't quite work, the other thing. It's not quite as juicy. Why are you talking? Did you not used to get rock hard? I did not. No. There was a time I did

not get as rock hard as I do now. And now eating a more meat diet, my testosterone levels are high and I'm rock hard. But you can't come? Well, I mean, let's just call a spade a spade. What is the stance you guys are doing? I can come. I can come. But it's not... I don't think anybody was being ambiguous

Yeah I mean you guys really We just wanted to say calm We said ejaculate retrograde We're not being ambiguous What it is with me Nobody was trying to hide what we were saying I haven't had a chance to work on any of the jokes Maybe Dan and I can work on some jokes that go with this thing

But When you cum it goes into your bladder, and then you pee it out. And then you pee it out. Right. Right. And so, but it doesn't only, nothing, stuff comes out. It's just not quite the porn star ejaculation that women love. You don't get a full

helping. No, you don't get a full... That we've been trained to believe women enjoy. To believe. Oh, they'll enjoy it. Believe. But I do have, I do cum very, and I do have, I do come very, and I do have a very rock hard... Well, this is a good... Do you take Viagra?

Have you taken any of those pills? In the past, I took some Viagra and I don't need it now. You believe in Viagra? Viagra increases the nitrous oxide. I believe in chemicals. Chemicals do things to the body.

I'm not totally... Lewis, are you still taking your blood pressure meds or you've abandoned your blood pressure? I've abandoned my blood pressure. I might take them again. I don't know. The problem is, this is, listen to me, Noam. We just want to make clear that we believe

that high blood pressure is a bad thing and people should be taking their blood pressure medication as directed. But I will also say this, and remember, I'm not a doctor for the people out there. I'm not a comedian either with this kind of show, but You're just a rock-hard

regular guy. I am so You could ask Perry, or she just met me, I'm a vigorous handsome older man. Here's the point about high blood pressure. High blood pressure isn't a disease, okay? What high blood pressure. High blood pressure isn't a disease.

What high blood pressure is, it is a symptom of other problems that we have. It is possible to be healthy and have super high blood pressure. So it's not a causal thing. It's associated with people doing all sorts of bad things happening to them. But I have high blood pressure, but a theory that I prescribe to is I've got extremely low heart rate, like athlete heart rate. It's considered actually a problem. I've had it been investigated.

My heart rate is under 50 consistently. So I've got high blood pressure of 160, but I've got... So together, those two numbers mean, in my mind, it might be a problem, but because I don't trust doctors, I don't think they know what the hell they're doing, I need to be proven wrong. So Louis Shaver believes because his, he believes his low pulse offsets his high blood pressure, which I don't believe is remotely valid. Well, you can Google that. It's called a double product. If anybody's listening to this, it's called a double product.

It's been disproven and also slightly proven. And what happens is with most people, most people, do you know what your blood pressure is? I don't know. 110, 120. It's normal. Whatever it is. But like most people who have high blood pressure, they go take pills,

and they lower their blood pressure, but their heart rate is high. So if you've got a heart rate that's, let's say, 80 beats a minute, and you go to the doctor, the doctor won't say that that's a problem because it's within the range between 60 and 100. Where are you in phrenology?

When you see people. I'll answer it seriously. I have a sense that you would have an opinion on this. I mean, what's happened today with the shape of people's skulls is because people are not their they're mouth breathers, which is one of the worst things you can do. You're breathing air through the lungs. It's not getting filtered by the nose. Your nose regulates your blood pressure. It's basically when you breathe through the mouth, you're telling the body it's an emergency, like when you're running. Okay, phrenology.

So a person, it's not exactly the shape of the people's skulls, but it is a shape of their jawline, is that what happens is when people breathe through the mouth, it affects their jawline, and they become mouth breathers, and they're, you know, they're intelligent. Well, phrenology is the... Is the shape of the brain. The size of the brain affects the brain. The size of the brain. The shape of the skull. Intelligence. And this is something I supposedly debunked.

But I've done some reading about it and there are serious people who say no, no, no, there is some correlation between having a big brain and being smarter. Having a big brain and having a big skull? You can look at somebody's skull and say that they have a big brain? The human brain skull? Like you can look at somebody's skull and say that they have a big brain? I'm not sure.

The human brain has actually gotten smaller, I believe, since Cro-Magnon. That's not to say that people with small brains can't be geniuses. It just means on average. Hasn't the human brain gotten smaller since Cro-Magnon? I think so. So the size is one factor, but there's also other... That is true. The human brain, since we started to become plant eaters during the...

Lewis is bringing it back to plant. Lewis is anti-plant. You can look up the Egyptians who were major plant eaters, and they were the first peoples that had recognized heart disease, that wrote about heart disease that wrote about right heart disease because they were they ate grain and gray and heart and so Jordan Peterson thinks that this is too much you know I took a Ritalin I'm so I'm so tired from the jetlag yeah when did you get back from Greece yesterday my band convinced me it's Ritalin or Adderall wanted to take this pill.

Is it a prescription pill? It's a prescription pill, yeah. But you don't have a prescription? No. So should you be talking about this? Oh, yeah. They're going to lock me up. And it's a pretty interesting feeling.

I know people that swear by Adderall. They say it really focuses them until it doesn't. But at least initially, when they're not used to it... We used to snort that in college before tests to study. You want to know the truth about that? I have a very good friend in London who is the founder of three billion dollar companies.

Super successful man. His name is David Tabazel. Brilliant. And he was a psychologist and he did research, I don't know whether he's at Harvard or MIT, where he tested all the different psychoactive drugs for which ones work. And he said of the 30 that he tested, Ritalin was the best one. It made you feel the best, but also with the least side effects not that I'm recommending that

on the air because I don't take any drugs like that Louis Schaefer can I interrupt you? yeah go ahead I want to talk about Louis Schaefer and it becomes Louis Schaefer's opinion on drugs but you want to know something that's living in the past I think people are getting an idea of how

mental Louis Schaeffer is from this conversation. But you are right. The brain has gotten smaller. So Louis Schaeffer, your future is in England? I thought for sure that when your kids got older and you were no longer duty-bound

to stay in England. And they seem to like America, by the way. Perhaps they would... Well, one likes America very much, and the other one is a little bit like... The little one wants to live here forever, he said. How old are they? 19 and 21. Now, do they know about your pro-Trump sympathies

and everything? They don't like that, right? You would actually vote for Trump again? Against Biden? I mean, that's not... Even Democrats would vote for Trump because? Against Biden? I mean, that's not... Even Democrats would vote for Trump, because most Democrats don't want Biden. I don't like Trump. I didn't like him when he lived here. I'm not a Trump person.

I'm not a handgun person. You know what I mean? I'm not one of those people. I know that. No, we're the same people. Basically, me, you, and Dan, and... You know what I mean? Don't lump me in with you guys. Well, I am a middle-class New York Jew from Great Neck. And I'm incredibly left wing orientation.

This country needed Donald Trump. Do they need him now? No, it's time. We've got other choices that are available. So when you say this country needed him, I mean, I would say that if he had made good on a lot of what he said, yes, we did need him,

but he didn't make good on almost anything that he said. I don't know if that's true. He didn't make good on a lot of what he said. And he also put the country through tremendous turmoil for four years. Now, to be fair, some of that was reacting to this Russia thing, which was, you know.

A lie. Yeah, by all indications, it was a lie. And I'll tell you this. Sometimes I had something going on personally. I've made a comment like this before, but every so often I have something personal, like a personal thing I'm dealing with at work. Yeah. And where I think somebody's treating me wrongly, very unfairly, taking advantage of me. And I'm going to tell you something.

It possesses me and it makes it very, very hard for me to focus on anything else, to relax, to do my job well. And I do have some sympathy for the idea that Trump being falsely accused all that time of being like an agent for Putin and having them trying to get it like this possessed him in a way, which was human. It's very difficult to give anything human to somebody you despise like Trump, but there was something to that. I felt that way about Kavanaugh when they were accusing him of being a gang rapist. It was just totally untrue, right?

And the guy fucking flipped his lens, and now he doesn't have the disposition to be... You try being called a gang rapist on television in front of the whole world. You can't win either way in this situation. You know what? These people are so disgusting. But having said that,

he put the country through... I mean, the January 6th thing was just crazy. I mean, these people are appalling. They're just horrible for so many reasons. Why did we need Trump? Wasn't there some other person who actually deserved to be there who wasn't just like

a petulant child? No. No, we needed a petulant child. We needed someone to go in and to say, you know, we had... This country's a disaster. It isn't a disaster. Yes, it is. You know what your son said to me? He was absolutely apoplectic at the state of New York.

He said, I cannot believe. Well, that's not Trump. No, no, no, it's not. It's not. New York's had 100 years of Democratic. It's not. Except for Giuliani. New York's a mess, too.

The city's a shit show. So who said this, Kanye or Columbus? The younger one. Columbus. I just's a shit show. So what did who said this? Carnegie or Columbus? The younger one. Columbus. I just got back from Greece. The tall one is the younger one. I was talking to people in Greece. How often do you work? They say we work 10, 12 hours a day, sometimes 7

days a week. How much money do you make? $800 a month. Now, certain costs of living are cheaper there, but a lot of items just have a world price. I mean, you know, certain things cost what they cost in dollars, even when you make $800 a month. Americans have so little perspective

on how fucking lucky we are in this country because we focus on emotional issues. The country, you know country does have its problems, but the country is not horrible. It's just not. The country is in a very dark place. The country is very divided. I've lived in a lot of different places in this world,

and so that's not lost on me, and I'm not taking those freedoms, well, now with women lack thereof for granted. Actually I want to hear Louis Schaefer's opinion on Roe v. Wade because that is something I've never literally never discussed. I've discussed all this other shit with Louis meat eating, his blood pressure

all the other things. I have never discussed abortion with Louis Schaefer Never came up with it. I think it's pretty predictable Well what would you predict his opinion is? He believes a fetus is alive at conception. That doesn't mean what your opinion is going to be about abortion. Let's find out. Drum roll, please.

What I think is we have a system that's out there that the goal is to enable women. We've got a divided mindset. On one hand, we want women to work because it helps our economy. And women getting pregnant is bad for working. So we need women to be able to have abortions, to be able to stop working, to be able to continue to work. On the other hand, our population is going through the floor, literally going through the floor. This is not my opinion.

Our native population. I mean, our world population. Even with immigration, we're struggling to keep above 2.0. Most of the countries in the world are below replacement values. Yeah. And China has eliminated abortion because they've come out and said, we need more people. What you're describing is fascist. Right. What you're saying is that I don't care whether it's alive or not.

I think women shouldn't be allowed to have an abortion because we need the people. Yeah, that's what China is saying. But that's not what Louis Schaeffer is saying. But that's not what I'm saying. Say what you're saying. What I'm saying is I'd like the 200 pounds back that I spent on getting that girl to have an abortion back in 19...

Are you in favor of abortion? I think in the current system that we have, I'm in favor of abortion. Okay. But do I think it's current system that we have, I'm in favor of abortion. Okay. But do I think it's a horrible thing as a person who's had an abortion? Who's impregnated a woman who had an abortion. Right.

Who was asked to pay for it, and every single day. Anti, I mean, A-N-T-E, retrograde. Yeah, before it, when it was capable. But every single day, I think about that child. And as a man, so I can understand how women are very, what's the word, where you're very conflicted about it. Not periel. Not periel. Don't do that. Don'tiel. Not Periel. So I tell her, you know,

don't do that. Don't put words in my mouth. You're not conflicted about the right to abortion? I'm not conflicted about... being conflicted

about the right to an abortion and being conflicted when the time comes to make a decision for themselves to have an abortion. I don't think

she's conflicted. I don't mean that as an insult. But, you know, I... Can I just make myself clear on this subject? Because I've never... I haven't had a chance to think of it. But, you know, I... Can I just make myself clear on this subject? Because I've never...

I haven't had a chance to think about it. Quick, quick, quick. Quick. Because that's all we think about here. Yeah. I think what happened was right, that the states should have decided on this back in 1970, whenever it was done.

That's what Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, yeah. Right, right. The states. Because it was like, you've what Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, yeah. Right, the States, because it was like, you've got three children, right? And one I raised that's not my biological child. Okay, four. Two children are

fighting, and they're going to work it out. But you come in and you say, no, that truck belongs to Roger and not this, whatever it is. And suddenly, it's like the one who has the kid, the one who has the toy, has the toy, they're happy. The one who doesn't have the toy is unhappy.

I did a lot of thinking about abortion. That's the issue. I ran this by Dershowitz on this show, and then I ran it by Neil Katyal. This is my theory that in the first two months, as I do more research about it,

it becomes very difficult to see the pro-life movement as anything but religious. I think prior to heartbeat and brainwaves, brainwaves is the big one, and the feeling of pain. Those who say that life begins on conception are 100% of those people are probably religious. Almost 100%.

I don't think any – You're looking at it. You're looking at it. So wait. So I actually think that the court – I don't think they argued this. I think the court could decide that the woman has a right to choose in the first two months. Based on the establishment. Based on the establishment clause.

And so I said this to Neil Katyal, and he was so taken with it, he wrote me an email. Well, I tweeted that. By the way, I tweeted that. Before you think that you're the only one, I said, does everybody that believes that life begins upon conception do so for religious reasons? And if so, is there an establishment clause issue? Go ahead. So good.

So anyway, and he suggested that I write an op-ed. Because no one thinks he's the only one that has these thoughts. Go ahead. So good. So anyway, and he suggested that I write an op-ed. Because Noam thinks he's the only one that has these thoughts. Go ahead. Well, actually, I'm not saying I'm the only one, but I thought the whole thing through.

There's an intermediate scrutiny. The establishment clause, by the way, means that the government has no right to establish a religion. So if everybody that supports abortion,

I'd rather everybody that believes that life begins upon conception, abortion should be illegal from the moment of conception is doing so for religious reasons. Is that an establishment of religion? But I would say that once there is brain activity and the fetus can feel pain, I think you're right.

I think it's something in a democracy that people have to decide as a democratic process. Wow. Wow. What about action? Had the Supreme Court done what you're suggesting? I wish they hadn't overruled it. I'll take the expediency, but if you had... I mean, one thing we've

noticed with this whole Roe v. Wade thing is that very few people have written articles defending Roe v. Wade. They essentially complain about the results. No, but I just ask you, if the Supreme Court had decided to go that route, the Supreme Court said in Roe v. Wade, up to three months, you'd have a right

to an abortion. What date should they have chosen? Because you're still running into the same problem. They should have chosen the best estimate of when brain activity and pain is felt. Okay, and what about all of these mitigating factors that come

into play, right? Because there are a lot of them. And for example, rape, incest, the health... Wait, wait, wait. I'm going to answer you. Wait, but I'm not finished. First of all, I'm not finished. But just take a pause there for a second, because there's something that always bothers me about this.

We've talked many times about abortion. We talk about what about the seventh month, eighth month, and you always say to me there's so few abortions that's true how much rape and incest abortions are there a lot actually no no no actually there are incest abortions and in fact there was just a case

very recently of the 10 year old girl who was raped if you're right about that they actually think it might not have happened but there are the Washington Post did a fact check on that story 10-year-old girl who was raped. If you're right about that, they actually think it might not have happened. But there are. What do you mean? No, I haven't read it. The Washington Post did a fact check on that story. There were two stories. There was the child abuse pediatrician.

But there are a certain number of abortions of people, young children. Of course there are. And there's a certain number of late-term abortions. It's a very tiny number. Yes, that's right. But what bugs me about you is that I'm fine discussing the tiny numbers,

but if you're going to discuss the tiny numbers, then you also have to answer the question on tiny numbers on the other side, which you refuse to do. No, I don't. I think that a woman should be in charge of making decisions about her own body full fucking stop.

Right, but that's not a legal argument. Well, I'm not an attorney, so I'm comfortable with that. When you have a fetus that feels pain, let's say let's say we all we all stipulate it feels pain to say that. The concept that as a legal matter judges that and in democracy, we can't say, well, it feels pain, so we're going to make laws about this. I mean, that's just your opinion. It's just not a legal argument. I mean, I get it.

You can have that opinion, but I don't see how a Supreme Court justice... I mean, given the fact that the Supreme Court justices who have overturned Roe v. Wade are, like, completely religious, I don't really think that's that reasonable, and that's the basis on which they overturned it. You're not... We need to move on because this is, this is nonsense.

Well, we're almost done now. Why is that nonsense? Because it's not the basis on which they overturned it. Is that not true? Are they not religious? I don't know if they're religious or not, but it's not the basis on which they overturned it. Yeah, that is. They think that abortion is wrong.

Well, it probably, it might well have entered into their, it may not have been the reason that they stipulated the opinion, but that doesn't mean it didn't influence them. Of course it did. In other words, these people are pro-life. I don't, we have no idea. We don't know, but we know that many pro-lifers are religious. Yes, we do, but the point is that the

legal reasoning of like, Akhil Amar, and these various liberal law professors have also— Everybody knows Roe v. Wade was a bullshit decision. You went to law school. It was almost uniformly considered a bullshit decision. I don't think we discussed it back then, but it was a while ago. I'm with Noam.

Plenty of non-religious people, plenty of pro-life people have said Roe vs. Wade, pro-choice people have said Roe vs. Wade doesn't hold up. They literally made it up. We need to get Dershowitz on here. He agrees. He on our show, he said that Roe vs. Wade wasn't right. But he also said that precedent

should take precedent. What he said was that they could dial it back to the Mississippi law, which was 14 weeks, and they should wait. There was no live case or controversy that entitled them

to overturn Roe v. Wade. That was his opinion. But he also feels the precedent should be respected. And six weeks is outrageous. Six weeks? I mean, that is just... Eight weeks. No, no, no. Six weeks.

The Ohio case, there were two little girls... With Mississippi law, the Dobbs case was 14 weeks. Yes, but I'm talking about in many states now, it's six weeks. Yeah, well, let's see... And I don't appreciate being called... I mean, don't dismiss what I'm saying as nonsense, especially when it's not. Well, he believes it to be nonsense. It is nonsense. I'll tell you what, I'm being... But you certainly have a right to defend... I'm trying to rile you up, obviously, but, especially when it's not. Well, he believes it to be nonsense. It is nonsense.

I'm trying to rile you up, obviously. Well, it's working. Because if we're going to discuss Roe versus Wade, we're discussing the law. If you want to discuss what you think abortion policy should be, that's fine. You can say all those things.

But judges have to be judged on whether or not their rationale holds up to a kind of scrutiny based on the Constitution. And that's an analysis which basically you ought to say, you know what? I don't fucking know whether Roe vs.

Wade was right or not. How do I know? I'm not a lawyer. I never read those decisions. That's what many people should say. Rather than saying Roe v. Wade was correct. They don't know whether it was correct or not. I could give you any decision or something you agree with

as a correct decision. That's not the way it works. That's not what I said, though. What I said was is that the Supreme Court judges that overturned Roe v. Wade did so because they're Christian pro-lifers. They're pro-life.

What's your evidence for that? Because I've read about it. Hold on. Let's move on. Can I just say this? I want to say this. I have to go play. Is that at the end of the day, this is not what we should be discussing.

We should be discussing why we feel the need for women to have, for one group of people to be given a clear path to work. Why is working so important and who benefits from women working?

And the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, why is there a culture of women being independent

and working at the expense? They want to work. No, but it's not that they want to work. No, they want to work. What are we, like cattle? What kind of a crazy point is this? I mean, nobody talks about men like this. Because nobody wants to work.

Well, no. You have to work. Two things. First of all, just so you know, if I would vote on an abortion policy in New York, I would be pro-choice. I mean, just to be very clear. And you want to know something? Pro-choice up to which month? Nine, ten.

No, not nine months. Okay. Definitely not. I'm with you. I would be pro-choice too. But who benefits from an abortion policy? Who benefits from women working? The richest people.

It doubles the workplace. It destroys family. It creates independence. And it's leading to the death of the humans on this planet. Not by abortion, but by people not having children. Well, you know what? Lewis does say something that I have to go, but that does, has come into my mind. Like, a lot of jobs are wonderful.

Comedians have jobs. A lot of people have. Not a lot. There's a certain percentage of jobs that people would do for free. And if you work at the comedy cell, you pretty much are. I'm kidding. But most jobs

are not like that. And most jobs, people look forward to the weekend. And it has struck me as like pulled the wool over our eyes that so many women, and men by the way, but so many women

feel that they're going to get more satisfaction out of life by doing these shitty jobs that are meaningless than the natural beautiful gratification of raising a family. Now it's true, you can't stay home all day long, then the natural, beautiful gratification of raising a family. Now, it's true, you can't stay home all day long. You go crazy.

Maybe part of the reason to have a job is just to get out of the house. But in general, I do think of that. Like, if I had to work the jobs that many people who work for me have to do, I would totally stay home and raise the kids. In a heartbeat. Like, I would totally stay home and raise the kids. Yeah. In a heartbeat.

Like, I would have to get up and go to work and, you know, and do that. Like, when you're younger, your weight table is just really your social life. It's not really the work. It's because you want to. But once you get older, or working, there's a million jobs that people do.

Like, why would they want to do these jobs when they can be home with their beautiful kids? I don't get that. And the powers that be, whoever they are, without being a conspiracy theory... Well, part of the reason is they want independence. They don't want to be dependent and feel dependent.

Finish your thought. The powers that be. The powers that be are basically controlling... I believe as a father with two children, that women are happier when they're taking care of children. I mean, yes, they want choice to go do other things, but having children is a beautiful thing.

You can be happy without children, but what they're doing is nobody wants to kill children. Nobody wants to kill fetuses. Nobody wants to abort a baby. Nobody wants to abort a fetus, whatever it is, whatever you want to kill children. Nobody wants to kill fetuses. Nobody wants to abort a baby. Okay? Nobody wants to abort a fetus. Whatever it is. Whatever you want to call it.

I worry there's a lot of social pressure. Listen, you would think just naturally, evolutionarily, that you'd be right. That since women have the children, that they would be overpowered with the urge to raise them. When you see a dog that has puppies, you try to get anywhere near those puppies, the mother is totally possessed with the fulfillment of raising those puppies, right? So women have these same instincts. So you would think, naturally, that that would be the case.

However, there's a lot of social pressures that countervail and I worry, you you know maybe make women feel i don't know perry if you've experienced i mean this i for ivy it's just so beyond it's like first of all you're pursuing careers that you like you're pursuing comedy and stuff like that you're in the first category that has nothing to do with first of all women get abortions for all sorts of reasons what he's saying is that there's something kind of gone wrong in a society where so many women prefer

work to raising children. We are talking about abortion because Lewis is implying that if our culture were different, there'd be less of a you and a cry to have abortions. But you know what the thing is that's so problematic here is that nobody has these conversations about men.

Like, why can't women want to have children or not and also want to have a career? I said about men, too, but the difference is that women have the children. Right. And so the onus, most of it usually, is on us to do most of the work while you guys get to go out and gallivant. Remember Camille Paglia said, yes,

nature is an oppressor. That's what she said. It's not men who are the oppressor. Nature is the oppressor. And as we've discussed many times, you know, I was never planning on having kids or any of those things. And my career really did.

Who has to go out and do the hand-to-hand combat to fight wars? Men. Is that oppression against men? I mean, probably. Of course it's not, because only men can do that. No, but I don't think that that's true. Oh, come on, come on.

Don't be ridiculous now. I'm not being ridiculous. Why is only men can do hand-to-hand combat? You know, the only reason men need to do that is because of other men. So it's kind of like... There were more wars in Great Britain when there were female heads of state

than... I mean, war is part of the human... The Holocaust. I mean, whatever it is. When a Jewish man had to defend his family. The point is that there are things that men do, the fallen men, because of their size and strength. It's not a question.

But many of those things are only because other men make them do it. For whatever reason. No. But anyway. With me, Dan, I took care of the kids. And did I get any respect for it? No. I would love to.

You know, I'd love to take care of my kids. I don't even want to work. I want to stay home with my kids. Yeah. Well, I don't have kids and I don't want to work either. But we can't do that. I'd love to know what Nicole thinks about this, but I know that she...

She's definitely not sleeping. My sense is that Nicole is just shaking her head and has been for the past 20 minutes. This abortion conversation... I can't see her behind me. People have to understand, as Akhil Amar said on that Barry Weiss podcast, everybody should listen to that interview. I've sentenced you like six times.

I know you won't listen to it, Barry. I don't like you pick fights it, Barry. But he said essentially— I don't like you pick fights with me over email. He said that—he was responding specifically to Bret Stephens' column about abortion, but he's speaking generally, too. He said that, you know, Bret Stephens is not burdened, he said, he's not burdened with a legal education. Yeah. And it's true that when you've had a legal education, you understand that there's specific analysis that has to go on by the Supreme Court justices that they take an oath to do. And that can lead to decisions which are really upsetting. But I don't believe the Supreme Court just, I believe that they were hoping to

chomping at the bit to overturn Roe from the get-go, and they were sort of legislating from the bench, as was the Supreme Court judges that enacted Roe. They were both legislating from the bench. I was going to say about that, we've got to go. So, you're touching on an interesting issue,

which is that when somebody has a stake in something, like they believe that life begins at conception, they're religious or whatever it is, that you can use that to attack their reasoning. This is, I think, a deeply flawed logic. The fact is that, yes— So I'd have to read the opinion and see if their reasoning holds up. The fact is that, yes, somebody's bias can lead them to whatever it is. But in the end, okay, Martin Luther King— But no, here's the thing.

Hold on. Martin Luther King cared deeply about his people, right? Martin Luther King was a black man. That is not an attack on Martin Luther King's arguments about civil rights. But no, here's the difference. The Supreme Court had the option to just, to believe that Roe was wrongly decided, but to decide to uphold precedent. No, they can't do that.

Yeah, but they do it all the time. No, they can't. Precedent has importance, too. They've been through this, what the star decides is, and what type of precedents are to be overturned. But when you're dealing with something as serious as murder, where you have majorities in states

believe that murder is going on, and some states going to six months, seven months, Supreme Court, if they agree that this might be murder they're going to say to themselves listen, I'm not standing by it's like Dred Scott, you can stand by Dred Scott you can stand by Plessy vs. Ferguson the reason that people

the reason people didn't stand by precedent on Dred Scott because people understood that this was too serious if this decision is wrong we don't stand on precedent on decisions that could be that serious. And they turned this issue over to democracy. That's what they

did. But don't they believe it's murder based on their religious beliefs? I'm coming. They believe that, well, they might personally believe that. Right, and that's what I'm saying. But they believe, and I believe they're on strong ground, that the Constitution is silent on the issue of abortion.

And what about the issue of capital punishment? How come most of the people who don't believe in abortion are really proponents of capital punishment? I don't know if that's true or not. It is true. You don't know that that's true, but the reason it would be true is because there's no conflict between thinking that murderers should be executed and innocent lives should be saved.

I don't even understand why. I thought we were just against murder, quote unquote. It's not murder when you kill a... That's not considered murder. Well, given the... Murder is the unlawful taking of a life. So the immoral taking of a life. Okay.

Thank you, everybody. No one has to go. Unfortunately, we do have to, uh, we do have to end because no one has to play music. It is music night as we have every Monday night.

Uh, we're recording this on Monday. Uh, is there's music at the olive tree cafe. If you live in New York, please come by. We have music. And of course our, uh, our,, our menu, our Olive Tree menu,

which features wonderful dishes from the Middle East as well as American Bistro-style fare. Can I say something to you, David? Yes. I love you. And I've loved you since I met you okay thank you Louis unfortunately I have no love to give but rest assured if I had any to give I would come your way

I don't need that kind of love but I take the love and I want to say thank you I was going to say thank you to Noam he had to run out but we thank Noam Dorman proprietor of the Comedy Cellar and I want to thank, can I thank Periel, too, who I

who I'm quite fond of. Everybody likes Periel, even if they disagree with her vehemently or vehemently. You know what, it's the passion that I like. I like the passion. I think I don't even think she's wrong. I think they're a bigger, this abortion thing, is that they're a bigger,

it's a bigger. Okay, just to summarize Lewis' beliefs on abortion, he believes it's culture. We live in a culture where women are encouraged to work, and that's part of the reason why so many people are pro-choice. I don't know if that holds any water, but that seems to be what Lewis believes. I think it's also that they don't want more children. They think there's enough children, And they don't need to raise children in any Western country. They're being raised for us. They just can import them

fully formed from some other country. Again, I don't know what Nicole is thinking, but my guess is she's thinking, who the hell is this guy? But I accept him warts and all. I always have. Again, thank you.

Periel Ashenbrand. Gnomes foil. And that's half the fun, I think. Louis Schaefer. How are you? I mean, Gnome is such a personality. He's such a personality. I mean, it's like the battle with Gnome over ideas and he's just like

his father in many many ways well he's quite like his father he's quite like his father he's very strong sorry for interrupting you Dan and I don't think I gave you enough paid enough attention to you during this show Rogel just texted me he said I haven't seen Lewis in years and after five minutes I had enough

in any case Rogel just texted me. He said, I haven't seen Lewis in years, and after five minutes, I had enough. In any case, Rogel is very, very... Anybody that he even remotely... has even the slightest whiff of being a Trump supporter, even if they're not, Rogel has no tolerance for that. Thank you, everybody. Podcast at ComedyCellar.com. Comments and suggestions and

constructive criticism are welcome or just say hello. Once again, we thank our magician of audio from the great city of Binghamton, New York, home of the Binghamton Chickpeas. I don't know.

What's your local team there? Well, it was the Beesons. That was our hockey team. Beesons. That was our hockey team. Beesons. And Bee Mets. Now they're the Rumble Ponies. Home of the Rumble Ponies. That's amazing, Nicole. Also, Rod Serling, I believe, grew up there from

the Twilight Zone. I'm not sure. What river is it on? The Anatomy? The Binghamton? No, the Susquehanna. Am I right? Yes. Louis Shaver knows everything. Thank you so much, everybody. We'll The Binghamton? No, the Susquehanna. Am I right? Yes. Louis Schaefer knows everything. Thank you so much, everybody. We'll see you next time on Live from the Table.