The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Matt Friend

Episode Date: February 10, 2023

Matthew Friend is a comedian and impressionist who has appeared on The Howard Stern Show, the Today Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live and many others. His repertoire includes more than 250 impressions ranging from Rami Malek to Timothee Chalamet. He has over 1,000,000 followers on TikTok, Snap, Instagram, Facebook, and across all socials.

This is Live from the Table, a Comedy Cellar-affiliated podcast. Coming at you on SiriusXM 99. Rawdog! And the Laugh Button Podcast Network. Dan Natterman here. Along with Noam Dorman, owner of the world-famous and ever-expanding Comedy Cellar. Perel Ashenbrand is here. She is the producer. Hello.

Although others might quarrel with that designation. We have Nicole Lyons behind the scenes doing our sound. Producer. Hello. Although others might quarrel with that designation. We have Nicole Lyons behind the scenes doing our sound. And that's all agreed upon, right? Nobody questions Nicole. It's just Perry Elle that we question. Well, Nicole clearly is the sound person. And she does the video.

So she's very shy. But how do you do, Nicole? I'm doing great. How are you? All right. That's as much excitement. Total unanimity on Nicole. For her, that's very shy. But how do you do, Nicole? I'm doing great. How are you? All right. That's as much excitement. Total unanimity on Nicole. For her, that's very exciting. And we have with us Matt Friend.

Hello. Well, if you haven't heard of Matt Friend, I think you probably will at some point. He's a comedian. He's an impressionist. He's been on The Howard Stern Show, The Today Show, The Jimmy Kimmel Live Show, many others. He does 250 impressions ranging from Rami Malek to Timothee Chalamet. Impressionist. He's been on The Howard Stern Show, The Today Show, The Jimmy Kimmel Live Show, many others. He does 250 impressions ranging from Rami Malek to Timothee Chalamet. I don't know what he sounds like.

And his favorite impression at the moment is Jennifer Coolidge, I suppose, according to what I've read in his bio that Perrielle sent me. And he is sort of a, he sometimes breaks into impressions for no reason. Like a tick. Like a tick. So just bear that in mind. How do you do, Matthew? I am thrilled to be here. Thanks for having me. Great to be with you guys. Excited to be here. Who's that? I have no idea.

I think that's him. People think, I actually have a bit about this. People think I'm always telling a joke or doing a voice or a bit and I'm just this is what I sound like. Your voice is already halfway to how it's done it's resting broadcaster voice i can't help it it's it's a serious problem yeah yes and um matt is you you had just mentioned to me the name matt friend just two weeks ago no Matt... Yeah, we were going through the... Well, I don't know how much detail to give on this. I was annoyed that

Tyler Fisher was doing very, very well at all the clubs, and I was annoyed that we didn't know about him at a time when he probably should have been working here. So I was trying to figure out what's going wrong in my organization that

we're not on top of knowing who's working in town. And I said, you think the Yankees don't know who's great in the minor leagues? They always know who's great in the minor leagues. They know who they are in high school, right? So I started going through the lineups of some other clubs and I started putting it to the table

like, what about this person? What about that person? And I said, who's this Matt Friend guy? Turns out I knew who Matt Friend was, but I didn't realize. Who's this Matt Friend guy? But this is interesting. They're like, oh, he's an impressionist. I'm like, what's wrong with an impressionist? But impressionists don't get much respect.

And Natterman spoke up for you. What did I say? I forgot. I think I said, well, he's an extremely good impressionist. I truthfully said I've never seen him do stand up but do you remember

this conversation yeah of course I do I didn't know I brought it up I said you fucking snobs who cares people love impressionists but what's your feeling

about that impressionists don't get respect you know well first of all I started out I sound a little like Johnny Carson

but go ahead it's very good to be here thank you very much on the program is your dear friend of mine, Mr. Dan Netterman. Okay, I'm going to... That's not his best name.

Okay, stop it. No, you know, it's very interesting. I started out doing impressions when I was like a little kid and I grew up like Austin Powers. How old? I was four years old when I watched Austin Powers and that's what got me obsessed with comedy.

And then I started doing that and the Mike Myers characters. And then it evolved to when I started doing stand-up especially throughout the past year and a half where an act is built and it's not just the voices so now it's a lot of crowd work and then a lot of just things unrelated to the voices but they're definitely inevitably a part of the act and it's not just the voices now though i'm kind of analyzing things whether it's a politics or whatever uh and i'm not why don't the other comedians respect impressionists? As another comedian, I could address that.

No, you're not the guest. No, no. I think maybe sometimes comedians will, sometimes it can be hacky, maybe, an impression, like the way you said it, oh, this is Robert De Niro on an airplane or something. I love Robert De Niro on an airplane. No, but I think maybe sometimes comedians were in an age where you're expected to talk more and more about yourself.

Audiences want to know who the real person is. No, no, no, stop there. No, comedians, you're right. Maybe they're jealous. Fuck it. They don't have the talent. They're jealous fucks. The first part of your sentence was correct.

The comedians expect you to talk about yourself. Yeah. Audiences don't expect that. They don't care. I agree. Audiences just want to be entertained. The thing is also comedians intimidate

I reject the premise that comedians are snobs about impressionists however. Wasn't there a thing that like people hated, people were mad at Jimmy Fallon when he was starting because he was doing these impressions and comedians were like jealous or whatever. I don't know I read that. I don't know. He was doing impressions of

other comedians. I do that too. Which might have No but I don't know. I mean it is interesting. I don't know. i don't know i read i don't know he was doing impressions of other comedians i do that to you might have no but but i don't know i mean it is interesting i don't know i don't know why they i'm not so sure fuck them i'm having a good time out here i'm not so sure the comedians are snobs about it however it's not enough to do impressions yeah that's right it's not you have to do enough for what for to kill i've seen people just go on stage and just do impressions but if there's no context to it yeah you know, you're going to say, here's, as he said, just a, here's an arrow on an airplane. Well, you know, that'll only get you so far. It's funnier if you can, like, analyze things as a person or whatever. I think if you do a joke about Trump and then you bring in the Trump impression, for example.

But, yeah, yeah, the Trump one, but some of them, like. Like, I did a joke about Chris Rock. Yeah. Yeah, the Trump one, but some of them... Like I did a joke about Chris Rock, what he should have done when he got smacked by Will Smith. And I did a very poor impression of Chris Rock. I thought it would have been great if he just knocked Will Smith out and said, Now, where was I? But it would have been a lot more effective if I had a good impression. The thing is for me too though

of Chris Rock you should write for him I mean for me too like I look at like Rich Little like when he was young you know Rich Little like yeah he hasn't dated well

yeah exactly yeah but then what I try to do is and what I'm the work I'm doing is work if you want to call that sound so the work I'm doing I go for vocal and physical accuracy, and then I try to add my own comedic spin on it.

I'm very inspired by Carvey and Phil Hartman and guys like that, Bill Hader. So it's vocal, physical, mixed with my own comedy in there. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to do. Well, now, why do you... Now, I wouldn't say it's jealousy. Yeah, that's...

But again, I don't know that the premise is correct. I don't know what it jealousy. Yeah, that's, yeah. But again, I don't know that the premise is correct. I don't know what it is. That's the reverse. I think they just don't respect, they don't respect guitar acts. They don't respect impressionists. They don't respect prop acts. Frankie Pace was this brilliant prop act years ago who was the first comedian on SNL. You know, I mean, nobody killed hard of the Frankie Pace.

The comedians just hated him. That's interesting. But, you know, back in the day, the comedians, I've told this story before. I went to see Eddie Murphy's movie Raw at the time when it came out. It was like 88 or something. Yeah.

And I remember I came to the comedian. I think it was Alan Havey was at the bar and some other comedians. I'm like, I just saw Raw. It was so great. And they're like, oh, that's awful. Eddie Murphy, he's derivative. He's not funny. Jim Carrey, too. When he was

starting out doing those impressions, he'd be like Sammy Davis Jr. in L.A., like the Comedy Store or whatever. Wouldn't he do that? He would do a whole act like that? His whole Carson set was impressions. Just to make my point, it's very time and place so that all the comedians at that time thought eddie murphy was it was just i was embarrassed yeah i never i never shared it again that i thought this movie was so great but now another generation has

come up and this is one of the classic movies in their you know influences in in their wanting to be comedians. Yeah. So obviously the comedians in those days were just wrong. Right. And, but it's very powerful in all the comedians feel some way. But I would just. And they're assholes.

Yeah. But, but once again, I'm not hearing what you're describing. I'm not hearing, first of all, Daryl Hammond, who's a largely impression based comedian. I never heard a bad word said about him around here. I mean, who else does impression? Well, maybe you did, but I'm not hearing that. Is there something I need to know? I haven't been given all this negative feedback yet.

It's just Matt. I'm not hearing Melissa Villasenor. It's just me, apparently. Melissa Villasenor is also impression-heavy. I never heard anyone say a bad word about her. I mean, I think if you're an unfunny impressionist, maybe then they would insult you. Well, go on and be funny then. That's what you have to do.

Just be funny. I just don't. I'm not. Like, you're describing this snobbishness that I'm not hearing. Oh, I've heard it. You're right that Daryl Hammond gets respect. Daryl's a more complex performer. Yeah, but you're right.

It does impressions, but you're right, he does impressions, but you're right, it's not a hard and fast rule, but you have to win people over. Yeah. Because I think impressions can be hacky, and if you're a great impressionist, it's certainly a valuable skill, but you have to bring more to it. I agree. I agree. I mean, unless that's all you want to do as a voice actor or something, but think as a comedian, like building out a set, it's a whole other thing, like talking to a crowd as yourself. I think it just adds a whole other layer. And that's what I'm doing right now. And so now you mentioned Matt as a possible person to work here. Have you investigated that? Have you looked at his? You have not. Not yet. I have. I've asked people to do that. So now at four years old, you were able to do, were you a musical child? I loved music.

I'm playing guitar now, but yeah, yeah. But I wasn't doing lessons or anything as a kid. Were you able to sing in tune? Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, yeah. And how come you never played music? I don't know.

I just never really did. It's weird. I wish I did. Do you think the talents are related i think so yeah but but as i said last time i think on the last episode you know i think some people just they pick up that guitar they sit down at that piano and it's just clicks and and they keep at it yeah that's how i am kind of with voice. You know, I just, I mean, I don't think I was an untalented. I took piano lessons.

I don't think I was, I was no prodigy, but I don't think I was untalented. I think with enough hours, I could have become a pretty respectable player. It just didn't click. The desire, the love, the passion. Now, no one will say, well, if you were better at it, you'd have had more passion. And that's probably. No, I wouldn't say that. That's probably partially true. But it's also true that some people, that was a lousy impression of me. Well, it wasn't an impression, but, but, um, I think some people just, you,

you picked up that guitar and you never put it down. Yeah. You know, and I don't think that's just because you were good at it. I think there's more to it than that. I think some people just have a love and a passion for it. I think it's more to it than that. I think some people just have a love and a passion for it. I think it's probably you're born with it, but I don't know what it is. You know, I mean, they say Hendrix used to sit on the toilet bowl and play guitar whilst he was on the toilet because he didn't want to be away from his guitar.

You know, Steve Vai used to have it by his bed. I mean, people that have that kind of love for it. Do you have a notebook by your bed? I don't know know but i don't write shit down i don't write my jokes down but yeah what do you do then they're in my head all right good for you that's impressive honestly well yeah there's a famous seinfeld episode where he wakes up and writes the thing and he can't read it the next day well anything i come up with while i'm half asleep unlike paul mccartney who wrote yesterday, well, asleep. Purported. Anything I come up with, sleep, doesn't work.

All right. For some reason. I guess once I'm asleep, I think it's good, and then I wake up. So at four years old, you're able to do Austin Powers. Yeah. How long was that your only impression, or did you quickly start adding to it? I was doing Dr. Evil, and then I would do my parents' friends, and then my grandparents, and then my uncle friends and then my grandparents and my uncle and

then teachers and it just kind of gradually increased and then I just started watching movies and shows and then kind of just started happening what year were you born 98 so this is early 2000 yeah so at that age but YouTube started around 2005 yeah so I grew up with YouTube right so that age it was already that you somebody have seen this young, precocious impressionist and put him on YouTube and got attention from you. Did that happen to you? I wasn't on Ellen as a seven-year-old, no. So no, I was starting to do sketches and stuff and uploading it a little bit on YouTube, yeah.

But what happened? It's still freezing in here, by the way. Dan. Well, I'm just saying it's freezing, and I'd like to rectify. But can't be rectified. Yeah. Wait, go ahead, yeah. Did your parents look at you at some point

and were like, holy shit, this kid... Like, this isn't just, like, this, like, cute, funny thing, but he's, like, actually wildly talented and we need to do something about it? His parents don't respect impression. No, they... My dad, they're the comedians you were talking about. They're just in the Highly talented

My son's a hack Yeah, they tell me I'm worthless And a sack of shit They're like, go do real stand-up Yeah, no, I mean No, they're very supportive Yeah, and lucky to have that Like, upbringing I'm just very Do they see very supportive. Yeah. And lucky to have that like upbringing.

I'm just very. No, but I'm I'm talking about like when they see it when I was like a kid, like say you got to go do this. Not necessarily. No, not like I was a kid like pushing me into it kind of happened organically. I went to school in New York to college out here and I just started kind of figuring out and doing it. Where'd you go to college?

NYU. NYU. So you were just having like a lot of fun doing it all growing up. Yeah. I mean, I never really thought about it in terms of like... I mean, I always had an idea that it might be something I wanted to do. But then it got very... Like in college, I would say I really started to begin thinking about this as a career.

And then the pandemic hit. And that's when things started to get a little crazy on social media. Can you do me? Can you do... Yeah, I know. I was just hearing you guys in my head and I think I can do you guys. I'm working on you guys.

You can do Noam? I think I can do Noam. I'm not interested in that. I don't care. The problem is it's in my head, so whether you're interested or not, it's going to happen. It's just going to happen.

Noam is... I never thought of Noam. Don't make it Jewy. I never thought of Noam as having a voice. We all know I'm going to make it a hacky, Jewy impression that all the comedians will hate. We all know I'm going to make it a hacky, Jewy impression that all the comedians will hate. That's what I'm going to do.

But do Natterman. Keep talking. Go ahead. What am I, a fucking stripper here going to throw singles at me? I mean, we do want to get you into some impressions. People are probably listening to this. Yeah, they're like, what's he going to do?

But before we do that, let's get hacky here. How hard is it? So I think about musical. Some people, they have perfect pitch. They instantly be able to play something. yeah so let's get hacky here how hard is it so like i think about musical like some people like you know they have perfect pitch they instantly be able to play something some people have to work on it figure it out but in the end the performance could be better than the person with perfect pitch but how easy it is it for you to do an impression i just add one thing we had

daryl hammond on years ago and he talked about really working hard to get a new voice, like recording it, trying it again and again. I think he described many weeks or months to get a voice down, whereas somebody like Godfrey, literally you could just ask him, do somebody, and he could have never done it before, and he'll just access it in his brain and come out with a top 5% impression of that person. He's remarkable. Yeah.

So which are you? Well, it's funny you mention, by the way, Daryl Hammond, I was just on stage with him last week. We did like a dueling Trump thing. I'd never met him before. It was really fun. He's amazing. I think usually I can get them pretty quickly and I'm very up to date with what's happening like pop culture, politics, and

actors and stuff like that. Sometimes it can take like a day, sometimes a couple weeks. But there's another aspect to it, right, which is currently with Daryl Hammond, is that it's also a matter of focusing on some aspect of that person which somehow can be funny and exaggerating it into a caricature.

Exactly. I think that's what makes Daryl kind of brilliant. Yeah, like we were talking about Rich Little earlier, he would just do like the exact carbon copy of The Voice. He wouldn't really add much to it. And then guys like Carvey and Hammond would add some version of it that made it really... Like when I do Mitch McConnell, I have a... Go ahead. How are you doing, Mitch?

Yeah, I'll put these in. Why are you guys kicking Ilhan Omar out of the... I do this. Well, listen, Yash. It is great to be here right now with the comedy seller. And what I say is, scoobity-boop-boop, scoobity-doo, yes.

It is great to be here, yes. He doesn't say scoobity-boop-boop, scoobity-doo, but it's a noise. It's like when Harvey used to say, knock on deck. I don't think that George Floyd ever said knock on deck. I love doing impressions where everybody tries to do it and then i skewer them in the voice

like everybody tries to do this okay noam knows it right and they fail like dogs they just can't do it a lot of people try to speak like me but they fail okay a lot of comedians come in they do their own version and frankly it's disgusting what they do. I'm very offended by it. And you're not smiling. Excuse me. Look at him laughing like a dog, right? They're an intimidating crowd.

He's like Simon Cowell. He has a lot of the power. He can say, next comedian, you're fired. You're not going to Hollywood. But he's a smart guy. He knows what he's doing, right? Excuse me. Look, I walk into the studio.

They say, how does it feel being a hecky piece of shit? Comedians don't respect you. I say to them, go fuck yourself. That's what I say to those comedians, right? That's good. The side eye just that was very subtle. Thank you very much. And then I'm working on the future.

I have Ron DeSantis down. Do you even know what he sounds like? Not really. The governor of Florida. He's like not really the governor of florida he's over here in the back of the throat so when he runs for president i'm good for the next four to eight years whatever happens just copies trump exactly physically and vocally it's frightening actually some way ahead i don't know i just i'm listening to shit like austin butler i did he just won the globe for elvis well how important is it for you to do an impression that other people don't do?

Because Trump, obviously, a lot of people do. It doesn't matter. I don't care. I just want to sound like the person. You think some people are so overdone that it's like, you know what? I can do them well, but it's just that impression is in and of itself too overdone. I'm not going to go there. Maybe Walken might be

in that category. There are some that I call airplane food impressions. It's like being a stand-up comedian talking about airplane food like christopher walk-in uh and deniro yeah like those like it's like my favorite can you can you i gotta work on that oh come on i know i know best you're talking about kirk i know i'm shot no but but uh i know i mean i think if i can i don't see a problem with it if i can be very vocally perfect like why not or if you can do it in a in a joke in a newer way because it is so overdone yeah but a lot of the ones i'm doing are no one's really doing i noticed this about trump yeah what years ago would you notice tell me what you know

i woke up let's see what he noticed he's still talking like a dog go ahead i woke up uh with the tv playing in the background that's kind of of half asleep. And Trump was talking. And for somebody to hit me, people are going to get mad. People got mad when I said this years ago. It was before he was even fully exposed as Trump. He has a very, I'm trying to get it out. He has like a beautiful vocal quality. He really does.

No, no. There's something raspy. Like if he were a singer, you would think, oh, yeah, I expect you to have that. He has all kind of the quality of his voice, if you could separate it from the horrible things he says, he has the quality of a voice you could imagine having a very pretty singing voice. Am I wrong? You know,

that's so interesting, because remember when Obama sang Amazing Grace? Now I kind of want to do Trump singing Amazing Grace. That's just so fascinating, actually. And Obama sang Marvin Gaye. Now that was a fun moment. He comes out, he's like, Amazing Grace.

Now that was fun. I love the comedy cellar, everybody. Come on now. Now that is good. The interesting thing about that, Noam, is that Trump is the last person in the world I would ever think would sing. He just seems like a guy that just doesn't sing.

Well, I happen to know what he would sing. Yeah, what would he sing? Go ahead. This is true because just by coincidence, I ran into Michael Cohen in a restaurant. He was just talking about my impression on a podcast the other day. Michael Cohen? He was like, all the people do Mr. Trump, but there's one kid who's fucking amazing at it. I was like fucking dying. It was hilarious.

And he says that Trump loves Neil Young. And he dragged everybody in his staff to see Neil Young. Old man, look at my life. He was singing Hardcore. 24 and there's like so much more, right? There's a lot more. That is hilarious. Can you imagine Trump if he loved Neil Young?

Trump and Neil Young. All the acts where Trump would be in love with. That's weird. He loves Neil Young. Who would you expect? I expect him to be like a Sinatra guy. I mean, a little. Yeah, there's a very great story.

I would probably expect Sinatra. Trump detailed how Sinatra, I think maybe it was Carson, was such a drunk. I think he had some argument with him years ago. It'd be great if Kanye, maybe that would make sense these days. He might support him. Because it's semi? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, Kanye supported him, went to the Oval Office with the red hat.

You never know. All right, what else, Dan? Yeah, go ahead. It's a great show here. Having fun. You do Howard Stern. I think I met you when I met you. He's famous for Howardard i do he's by the way we have just watching

watching us uh off mic is this guy named barrett letty who's a friend of matt and i yes i first met them on clubhouse remember clubhouse that that social media that that was sort of hot during the pandemic and they were doing a Robin Quivers and Howard Stern thing together. Yeah. So that's how I... Let's hear it. Let's hear it.

Well, if Barrett wants to... I mean, Barrett's just... I don't know if Barrett wants to... Yeah, take the mic. We'll do a little bit of this, Ryan. This is going to be great. So I'm doing the Comedy Cellar podcast. Now, Robin, how are you doing?

Oh, hi, Howard. So let me ask you a question, Ryan. Who do you have to fuck to get on stage at this fucking comedy club? It's fucking driving me crazy. What do you have to do? It's fucking crazy, right? Tell me. I don't know if you have to fuck anyone, Howard.

You don't think so? So you don't think I have to fuck home to make this happen? Tell me. Tell me, Robin. Give me a laugh right now. Tell me. Now, Robin, let me ask you something, right? Do you think that I've been... First of all, are you masturbating?

Oh, absolutely. Babysitter porn, right? Are you? Gnome likes babysitter porn, doesn't he? Look at him laughing, right? Now, do you think he's a little intimidating, or is it just me? Oh, he is. Right. You think so? I think so. I know. Now, give me one.

Hey, now. He can't do it, Robin. Come on. Robin, one last question. What do you think about the Bruce Springsteen interview? You like that? I thought it was wonderful. I think everything you do is wonderful.

Robin Quivert, everybody. We love you. That was amazing. Barrett Letty. He's unbelievable. He's a voiceover artist. He's amazing. He's not a comic.

I love Barrett. That was so fucking good. I love Barrett That was so fucking good I love Barrett It's so wild seeing him Oh my god Didn't you also do something With Letterman Or was it Letterman

With Letterman Yeah I was walking down the street I've been basically meeting A lot of the people I do impressions of You do Letterman No no

I was walking down the street Last week And I ran in And David Letterman Was on, I was walking down the street last week and I ran in and David Letterman was on the sidewalk just walking in like Soho. Oh, I think I saw you posted that. I went up to him and we talked for a few minutes and I told him I'd do a Howard impression.

I don't do him, unfortunately. I did it and we did a little video. I said, what's with the beard? It's just fucking, it's disgusting. And then I posted a video and then the next morning, Howard's on the air and he goes, I get a text last night, weirdest thing, from David Letterman, that he ran into Matt

Friend. And I'm like, who the fuck is Matt? Oh, it's the guy who does the impression of me. Like, Howard's pretending he doesn't know. It was amazing. It was surreal. Yeah. I like this self-protective Howard's pretending he doesn't know Well, I've been on

so frequently, I talked to him on the air for like 20 minutes, like 4 days before that happened Believe me, he could I mean, not that forgettable, just like you get older and you meet people We had a discussion, I think two weeks ago, I think you asked me somebody asked, somebody said

how come so-and-so didn't get on SNL? They're great impressionists and I made the said, well, how come so-and-so didn't get on SNL? There's great impressionists. And I made the point, well, SNL only hires, first of all, SNL doesn't only hire impressionists. And then when they do, they might be looking for a woman. They might be looking for a Latino or a Latina. It wasn't me who said that that person should have gotten on SNL. But there was a conversation. It was Rich.

Aronovich? Yeah, wasn't that the conversation we had with Rich? About... We might have been. I don't remember. But anyway, but of course a lot of people... Daryl Hammond, it was always his dream to be on SNL. Is that your number one dream? Daryl Hammond was. I know. And it was his dream.

Are you saying Rich Aronovich? And he pulled it off. Aronovich was... No, he was asking about somebody else. I think Kyle Dunnigan. He said, why didn't Kyle Dunnigan... Because he does great impressions, too. He's amazing. I said, why didn't he get on SNL? I was, no, he was asking about somebody else why somebody else, I think Kyle Dunnigan he said, why didn't Kyle Dunnigan, because he does great impressions too, I said, why didn't he get an S&L I said, well, because S&L again, they don't only hire impressionists and they don't hire, they can only hire a few people

a season. But Kyle's not just an impressionist Kyle would have been perfect impressionist He would have been, but yeah, he would have been, I mean, but you know they can't hire everybody that would be, so would have Godfrey so would Godfrey have been perfect? So not everybody can get SNL, even those people that would be perfect for it. Elon Gole would have been good on it, too.

Tyler says. So, Matthew, what about you and SNL? Is that your number one goal, A goal, you don't give a shit? I mean, I would say as a kid i was always a big goal uh of mine and like my my old youtube channel was called matter day night live like in high like years ago not years ago like earlier like a couple years ago but um now i mean i'm just kind of doing my thing like if things happen it happens i can't be married to something if i have zero control over it so now i'm just performing and making things happen and

doing voiceover and if it happens, it happens. I would love it. There's so many other avenues, especially nowadays, especially with social media. I think somebody like you, you are doing well on social media but a guy like you could really, I think,

expand. I mean, thank you. I don't know how necessary it is. As Trump says, we'll you. So, I mean, I don't know how necessary it is. As Trump says, we'll see what happens, right? So, I don't know. There's more outlets for a guy like you. But now what I'm doing now

is just, like, performing nightly and doing a lot of voiceover stuff and just content. Now, here's a question. Yeah. You're able to imitate Obama because Obama's...

I see where this is going. Go ahead. Answer it. Let's see what you got. Come on now. Come on now. How are you? Because it's not stereotypically black.

Let's see. Yeah, yeah. But it's not a good time to be imitating, doing impressions of people of color, is it? My thinking is, first of all, it depends on the context. Like, if you're going to be paid as a voiceover actor, you shouldn't do that as a white guy doing some other role, as we've seen what's happened

throughout the past few years, in my opinion. But I think if you're doing it in a comedy act, if it's vocally accurate, I think it's fine. If I sound exactly like Obama or something, I'm not saying to take it to another level of... Daryl used to do Al Sharpton. He did it on stage. It was hysterical.

And he did Jesse Jackson, I believe. I don't think he did that. Yeah, but in those days, it was funnier because of white guys doing it. Yeah, I mean. Well, he still, last time I saw him here, he might be grandfathered. You're talking about a guy who does a spot-on impression, though. Like, it's perfect, you know? Yeah.

So I think it's fine. It's fine. In that case, yeah. It's fine until somebody decides that it's not. Yeah, well, stay with anything. And there'll be no warning when they decide. I think it's fine. It's fine. I don't know. In that case, yeah. It's fine until somebody decides that it's not. Yeah. We'll stay with anything. And there'll be no warning when they decide. I mean, if you're going to take it to another level and add a costume, I would not suggest

that. That would not be a good idea. Now, I've been watching this show on Apple TV, The Therapist Next Door. Yeah. I haven't seen it yet. Are you Jewish? I am, yeah. Oh, good.

I mean, he doesn't scream it. Well, let's talk a little more. I'm wondering if your mother was a convert. No, and I'm a full Jew, man. Okay, okay. Don't get me. So this show is pretty good. Yeah.

Paul Rudd, who is Jewish, plays the therapist. Yeah. But then Will Ferrell plays the other guy who's supposed to be Jewish. Right. And first of all, what happened to all this issue about you're's supposed to be Jewish. Right. And first of all, you know, you're like, what happened to all this issue about you're not supposed to play somebody? And both of them, I blame the script, they throw in so many Jewish references

into every scene. No Jewish people talk this way. Like Harry Enten, our friend, who's like the Jewish guy I know, wouldn't have this many Jewish references in a conversation. Like what? Just like a Meshuggah. Just like things I don't even know. Just like every toast is Jewish.

And it's not L'chaim Jewish. It's just obviously they're just trying to throw Jewish reference. And I wouldn't say I was offended by it. I'm not offended by it, but it kind of irked me. Like,

what the fuck are they doing here? Like, so, and I began to realize how, you know, these things bother

other people. Again, I wasn't offended by it. I mostly thought this is just bad writing. Like, you know, this is just not well done. Um, but in some way, whether you intellectually don't agree with it and think it's

ridiculous, this whole cultural thing of not, these people shouldn't be doing other people. It begins to seep in. Now you see this big Gy, Will Ferrell, doing this big Jewish guy, making all these Jewish references. I'm like, what the fuck? I mean, Bradley Cooper is playing, what's his name?

The fucking Leonard... Leonard Bernstein? Leonard Bernstein, yeah. Is he Jewish? I don't think he is, no. No, no, no, Cooper, Cooper. Yeah, Bernstein, that'd be a shock. You't think he is, no. No, no, no. Cooper, Cooper. Yeah, Bernstein. That'd be a shock.

You heard it here first, folks. On Sirius XM, Bernstein is not a Jew. The most, I think, miscasting of a Jew is Rutger Hauer in Escape from Sobibor. Actually, you're wrong. It's actually George Santos is probably the biggest miscasting as a Jew in history, honestly. It's amazing. I would give it to Rutger Hauer Who's the most Gentile looking man of all time

You think so? Rutger Hauer, yes And second prize goes to James Spader in Ice House, what was the name of that movie? No, White How about Brosnahan, Mrs. Maisel She's not a Jew

Yeah, that's incredible I mean, that's incredible. Right? But again. I mean, that's unbelievable, isn't it? Yeah, she's incredible. But she doesn't look that ridiculous. It's not Rutger Hauer-level Gentile. It is quite shallow.

There's so much sugar in every five seconds. It's quite shallow of the writers, who I think the writers are Jewish, too, to think that the essence of portraying a Jew is in the word choice. It's much more subtle than that. It's part of it, but it's not the whole thing. Subtle manipulation of the media. I mean, thank God that Jerry Seinfeld used lots of Yiddish phrases on Seinfeld, or America would have never known he was Jew-y.

You get my point? Seinfeld's obviously... So it's bad writing. He's obviously Jewish. There's no Jewish stuff coming out of his mouth. There's been a lot of blowback about that Jonah Hill's film that just... I just saw a video about that.

I saw You People. I watched it too. What's the blowback? The Netflix show called You People. Or as You People. I watched it, too. What's the blowback? The Netflix show called You People. Yeah. Whereas Archie Bunker said, You People are You People. Yous People. Anyway, go ahead, Perrie.

Go ahead. No, no, you go ahead. Please take it. What's the blowback? Is that they're really relying on all of these Jewish tropes and black tropes, and it like sort of pandering to the lowest common denominator. I mean, pretty much exactly what you were saying. Didn't he write the movie too? Jonah wrote it with

a black guy. I don't know who. I forgot the guy's name. Noam? I'm kidding. Yeah, go ahead. I had, by accident with Judd Apatow, I was here and I sat down with him and he was here with a friend. I sat down with him, had lunch with him, and it was like 45 minutes before I realized it was Jonah Hill. Just talking to this guy.

When was this? This is five years ago before COVID. But he'd lost so much weight, and I hadn't realized he'd lost all that, and dyed his hair. And then somehow it just occurred to me who it was. That doesn't surprise me at all. You didn't even know who Stephen Merchant was.

That's such a distinctive looking guy too. Stephen? I mean forget even what he looks like. Anyway, what do you think of the blowback for you people? I thought I really enjoyed the movie. I thought it was

fun and I thought Eddie Murphy was just phenomenal and I mean it Murphy was just phenomenal. I mean, it's like, okay. Sam Jay, isn't that right? Sam Jay has a very big role. She's a podcast host. Andrew Schultz was in it. He had a small part.

I thought it was great. I mean, you know, it was like a movie. It's like, I don't... I watched it with a French audio track, so I didn't necessarily get the full... In other words, I don't know how they were speaking, so whether they were

speaking in stereotypically Jewish and black ways, I didn't get that from the French. Wait a second. Wait, wait. Why? Because he likes to do that to test himself. He also likes to sprinkle into conversations to show off that he speaks French. No. Do you? Yes. Do I like to sprinkle it conversations to show off that he speaks French. No. Do you? Yes.

Do I like to sprinkle it in or do I speak French? I watch. You know, there's a lot of blowback against comedians who speak French. It's like the new impressions. I watch. People are mad at comedians who do that. If I'm going to watch something and there's a French audio track available, I'm going to watch it with the French audio track. So do you watch like Squid Game with the French audio track in addition to the... Yes.

You're kidding. Yeah, I watch... Are you fucking kidding? Are you serious? I'm serious So do you watch Squid Game with the French audio track in addition to the... You're kidding. Are you fucking kidding? Are you serious? I'm serious. Do you watch porn in French? No, no, that I do not watch in French. But that's an idea because there's some vocabulary. Well, but it's a vocabulary that I wouldn't necessarily get in other... But they don't shave their legs. That's a stereotype that dates.

The French hairy stereotype. Okay, fascinating. The French hairy stereotype. Okay, fascinating. The French hairy stereotype dates from like the 60s. It's not true at all anymore. Can I just say, by the way, this podcast so far has just been great. I mean, it has been vastly different than I expected. What did you expect? You know, I did not expect to be talking about the shaved legs of French people and you people.

Let's keep going. Actually, we're not just getting started. We're winding down. Wait, I just want to say one thing because Dan has brought this up so many times. Yeah, go ahead. Dan was very disappointed to find out by a reputable source that my Hebrew— Well, no, I don't know if it's a reputable source. It's a biased source.

It's your husband. Dan always tells me that my Hebrew... Well, no, I don't know if it's a reputable source. It's a biased source. It's your husband. Dan always tells me that my Hebrew... There's no way I speak... I actually speak... He's like, maybe it's decent. Right? Is that true? Well, how do you...

Your Hebrew? Yeah. That's probably decent, but I think you're probably missing a lot of vocabulary. Yeah. Because you don't use it, you know, on that regular debate. Like, alright, let me ask you this. No, but I do, but, no, no, no, but

wait a second, but then we sat down with Guy and he asked Guy how's her Hebrew? And what did he say? He said your reading was... She's not authorized to change topics. I didn't change topics. Let alone bring up such a boring topic as her Hebrew. Oh my God. First of all,

that's so rude and I did not change topics. But fine, up such a boring topic as her Hebrew. Oh, my God. First of all, that's so rude, and I did not change topics. But fine. Go right ahead. Do you know how to say underwear in Hebrew? Yes. You know? How do you say the brakes failed on my car, and I collided into the guardrail?

I don't know how to say that. All right. There you go. So I'm saying you're missing a lot of vocabulary. There you go. Your Hebrew is probably decent for getting around town. No, it's better. But, you know, if you had to do your act in Hebrew, for example, you know, you might not find it.

Say this. That's much too big for me. Get out of here, soldier. I would never want to bore, God forbid, bore Noam. Okay, anyway. Yeah, your husband, when I hear you talking to him in Hebrew, you go back and forth between English and Hebrew, so I don't get the impression that you have all the vocabulary there.

Now, what about the anti-Semitic Jewish comedian we had on a couple weeks ago? Jonathan Randall. Jonathan Randall. So, since, and by the way, I would still. I'm not saying he's anti-Semitic, but he's very anti-Israel. I was purposely being provocative, but he sounded so reasonable here in the podcast discussing the Arab-Israeli conflict and all that. Just because he was talking to you. And then he left and he just went on a screed, just a fucking screed about this.

There's no way he believes in any of the things he said to sound reasonable on the show. Would you agree with that? He is no fan of the Jews. Well, he's no fan of Israel. I think he may well be a fan. You should have had him on at the same time as me, honestly. No, he did write something that was like particularly...

What do you expect from Israelis? Israelis are known for being liars or something. He said that? That duplicity. I'm gonna... I'll quote it. No, you can't. But I'm just... What made me think of it is like, is it because he's intimidated because it's mean?

He doesn't want to speak frankly because he's afraid that... Yeah, I already told you that. Yeah, so that's not good. Yeah, for sure, though. 100%. That's why. You hit the nail on the head. He was 100% afraid.

So fair enough. No question. Now, what are your views on Israel? Careful. So fair enough. No question. Now, what are your views on Israel? So is your larger point here that nobody should be afraid to speak freely in front of you because you do not take it? You do not book comics on the basis of their political beliefs? That's not my larger point, but that's what popped into my head when he's talking about being intimidated. Oh, we're joking around. My larger point is—

Well, you do have a presence. It's a fact. It bothered me. It bothered me that he would... I mean, he doesn't realize it bothered me more than if he had expressed his sincere beliefs about his...

His lying, kind of altering his views in front of him. Yeah, I don't want to use the word lying, but yeah. But changing his view for you, yeah. But it might not have been changing his views for you. It might have just been that

people don't like confrontation sometimes. when they're when they're in the presence of people with different views they just they just don't want to get into it well hey but you know who really doesn't like you know who really loves his confrontation is rallies i'm kidding that was so so and i got some hint of it some hint of it at the very end when i when he says i believe in a two-state solution he says and, and I said, Oh my God. And I said, well, okay. I said, would you tweet out that, you know, as much as critical as I am about Israel, I'm still a Zionist. Yeah. And he says, no, I wouldn't use that. I wouldn't say I'm a Zionist. I'm like, why? And he

acknowledges Zionist means the belief that the Jews should have a homeland in Israel. He says, yes, but, you know, it's a controversial word. So I would never use it. Did you make him elaborate on that? Yeah, we did. And I kind of, do you remember that? And I'm like, well, yeah, but they, just because it's controversial to them, you're going to tailor it.

You know that they're not right. That's not what it means. And you're allowing that view to metastasize by then allowing it to jump to people who supposedly do support a two-state solution. Now, you're afraid to say yours, but he wouldn't say it, and that was a clue. Well, anyways, you can see him taping his hour special for Netflix

at the Comedy Cellar next week. No, I don't care about that. Listen, as a good Jew, what's my prime directive? Is for the Comedy Cellar to be a successful business. I don't care about his personal views in terms of whether or not he goes on stage. I don't like that he said that. And I enjoy having more of them.

Maybe he thought you did, though. That's why he was probably altering his view. Because he's an anti-seller. Well, on a related note to business, you told me something, Noam, before the show regarding last week. He can't control himself, yeah. Last week, Noam mentioned that the Comedy Cellar will likely be or may be expanding. Noam is looking at a property in the area to open up a new club in this area. Oh, wow.

But it wasn't 100%. Noam put a bid on a property and we talked about this already. I don't think we talked about that. Yes, we did. Yes, we did. Yes, we absolutely did. Sorry, let me just go on TikTok live here. Say it again.

We did absolutely using the same terminology. Sorry, one more time. Exactly how you said it before. Okay, three. And we'll pan over to him in a second. All right. We used exactly the same terminology on a previous podcast. And I'm here to announce it today.

This is so exciting. If you wish for me not to discuss it we can we can trim trim it out we can trim it out we didn't trim it up let's not discuss it all right back to me let's go well we did discuss it so no nicole back me up do you recall that i feel like we did we did not to stir the wow absolutely not to stir it's too late nicole and you said and you said pot stirring and you said pot I don't recall exactly what you said, but you said it's a possibility.

Well, congratulations if it happens. I don't know. It's exciting. I had another thought today. Okay, he doesn't want to talk. Totally unrelated. Because look at the tape. We did discuss it. So, you know how... I kind of said before that really smart people can kind of come up with arguments

and somehow only a smart person would ever make such ridiculous arguments. Periel does this from time to time. Or she repeats them anyway. But do you believe there's anything that there's actually any objective morality

or ethics. Like, I feel like smart people have convinced, I'm talking about the smartest people have convinced themselves, come up with all kinds of rationalizations that there is some objective morality in the world. The whole subject of ethics is somehow something that is objectively true.

And I think that's just ridiculous. There's no objective morality in the world. There's like game theory, like this works better if you don't kill me, I don't kill you. That makes sense. But I think that we have a natural sense of guilt about things, also probably

for good evolutionary reasons, and we just yearn to rationalize this guilt we feel when we do things quote-unquote wrong. And this becomes philosophy, Plato, Socrates, like they come up with all this amazing rationale of why there is objective

Well I think there is, first of all There's no objective ethics in the animal kingdom I think there is We're animals like the rest of them I think inflicting pain for no reason you couldn't make any argument that that was anything other than immoral.

Immoral? Who says? If you're causing pain for no reason, nobody benefits, and somebody suffers. If you didn't have a conscience, you would never come up with that moral... And I'm not sure what you're getting at.

I'm saying like, in the animal... And Matt is really flummoxed at why we're talking about this. In the animal kingdom, I don't know if they kill for no reason. They don't know what the reason is, but they inflict pain on each other. They maim each other. Well, because... They eat each other.

Yeah, because they eat to survive. Well, sometimes they kill and don't eat it. Is the animal kingdom an analogy for comedians? Yes. I don't know. Maybe I'm missing it. So if comedians were animals, what animal would they be?

Or would they all vary? Hyenas. Does it depend on the comedian? You think they'd all be hyenas? No, maybe, but they could maybe depend on the comedian. I mean, you could do it either way, right? It would be fun to assign an animal. That would be fun. That would be a fun exercise. Are you saying I should eat you, Dan?

That would be the moral thing to do. Oh, boy. I'm saying animals eat to survive, and they go by instinct, so there's no moral issue there. What started me thinking about this was this concept of... Try to relate it to something.

...of vegans. They think it's immoral to eat animals. Some are just grossed out by it, really disgusted by the idea. Are you reading my mind? Because there's this friend of mine that's been harassing me to watch The Game Changers. It's okay. You can say it's the guy who hates Jews who was on the show last week.

Who's a vegan, who's been harassing me to watch The Game Changers, which is a documentary about veganism making the point that not only is being a vegan a more ethical choice which i think you have it's hard to argue that although maybe you could but that it's also basically can make you stronger healthier um it just has all kinds of health benefits and of course it's better for the environment so anyway i watched the the documentary and then i watched some other things debunking some of the things that were said in The Game Changers, or refuting some of the things that were said in The Game Changers. And then she starts yelling at me, you're a brainwashed idiot, as vegans will often do, because many of them are basically lunatics. Although I applaud their desire to spare animal suffering, they're also lunatics in many cases.

So anyway, it's just interesting that you're bringing up veganism when I just got harassed. I love how we get from, is there a basic form of ethics and morality to vegans? No one brought up veganism. So I'm just saying, well, it. No one brought up veganism. So I'm just saying, well, it's interesting you brought up veganism because just today I was in an argument with this person who doesn't want to speak to me anymore because I

don't accept everything that was said in the game changers at, at face value. Wait, so you watched it? I watched the game. Okay. And then you said you didn't agree. I didn't agree or disagree because I'm not a,

I'm not a nutritionist. So I went online and I looked up the game changers, and there were people refuting many of the things that were said. In other words, vegans will tell you that not only is being vegan ethical, but many of them will say it's the healthiest diet. And many people say you can have a diet with meat in it that's just as healthy. So game changers is to vegans what you people is to Jews is what you're saying. That's basically what I'm saying.

There you go. All right. Everybody's refuting what's happening here. And this person won people is to Jews is what you're saying. That's basically what I'm saying. There you go. All right. Everybody's refuting what's happening here. And this person won't talk to you. Threading the needle. This person's saying, talk to me when you, and she sent me more videos to watch. Oh, my God. I mean, it's like, really?

Jesus Christ. Yeah. So anyway. Wow. So I'm tempted to be a vegan. It kills me to see these animals. Don't get me wrong. But I'm saying that that feeling I have is not rational.

It doesn't come from the. Which animals do you feel the most bad for? Chicken or cow? What makes you more... You'd have to go with cow. Yeah. Pigs, pigs. I love the Louis C.K. chicken bit when he hosted SNL.

You know that one, like the racist chicken? And he goes, chicken, their murder rate is 1,000%. Existence! Such a good bit. I never thought of chickens the same way again. The way he bobs his head. It's so fucking funny. Can you do Louie? Again, here's the community to do.

I could do... I do Sebastian. I do Gaffigan. I can do a little right now. You want me to do a little? Gaffigan? Yeah, Gaffigan's fun. I just do... The way to do Gaffigan is just to question everything around you with a childlike wonder, and then just sound like you've been out of breath for 10 minutes I mean I don't even understand what we're

doing here why do we eat guacamole with tortilla chips and not a spoon seems like a healthier choice I just feel like why do cicadas come every 17 years feels a little weirdly spaced I want a hot pocket.

Okay, you're scaring me, but you're fun. I just feel like we're having fun here. And Sebastian? What's up, everybody? It's Sebastian Maniscalco. Happy to be here on the show. Different modes to the Sebastian. There's podcast Sebastian, more deep, talking about things, having fun.

Then there's the high pitch. What? I don't want to be here, bored, taking a picture. What are we doing? And then there's Sam Morrell. I'm working on Sam Morrell. It's like, yeah, my babysitter. My babysitter molested me when I was

five. I don't even know. The worst job is it's cop. I don't even know. You know what the worst job is? It's cop. I don't even know what the writing is around it. It's just fun to speak like a very deep voice. And then Norman, yeah, it was fun. I was doing it before. Just, hey, good to be here. What are we doing? Look at the Jews. And then we're going to

Anthony Jezelnik like, you know, I was dating this girl. She had a pet parakeet. The thing would never shut up. The bird was cool, though. Is that a real Jesselny? Yes, it is. Anthony?

Anthony Jesselny. So, working on some of the comedian impressions. And your favorite one right now? Well, do we want to... Okay. No, please. Your show. My favorite one?

Out of all of them? Out of every one I do? Well, yeah. You sent it to me. We're all over the place, but Noam did bring up veganism, which is a rich topic. And maybe I'm wrong about ethics. I don't know whether he wants to pursue it or wants to not pursue it. Ethics are interesting.

Well, what would Peter Singer say? I don't know. I mean, he believes that you should create the maximum goodness. The only argument in favor of meat eating that I have heard that may or may not have validity is that these animals, most of them would not exist if we did not eat them. Most cows are raised to be eaten. If we did not eat these cows, they wouldn't exist at all. So we're giving them. It's a pretty good argument. to be eaten. If we did not eat these cows, they wouldn't exist at all. It's a pretty good argument.

We're giving them life, even though it's a short life. Didn't God intend for humans to eat these? If we're going to get into God, then that's a whole other thing. But not the way the meat industry is run. Okay, but just assuming they're treated well. But they're not. Assuming they are,

is it ethical? But they're not. Assuming they are, is it ethical? But they're not. Go ahead, Seth. Is it ethical to kill a creature that wouldn't have existed otherwise? Italians eat fucking cows. I'm just going like, Jesus Christ. I don't know, Dan. I think that, like I said, a lot of this is, it makes us feel bad and we try to create a rationale, a weighty

rationale why it's wrong, quote unquote wrong, but the fact is it makes us feel bad and sociopaths don't feel bad, you know. Guess where there will be the best meat products in all of New York? At the Comedy Cellar when they expand to their additional locations.

I'm kidding! We can cut it! Come on! I did ask you, Noam, about getting beyond. Did you guys know, by the way, that the Cellar's expanding? Sorry. Go ahead. Continue. Let's just sprinkle it in to make the edit impossible. There we go. Cellar's expanding!

Cellar's expanding! Bought properties! Go ahead. Sorry. Continue. We can do it. It'd just be a much... Do what? Oh, the comedy is expanding? No. In other words, we can cut it all out. It'd just have to really be a wide cut. Yeah, it would be a wide cut. It'd just be like Matt Friendcast

just like one minute of the episode. Go ahead, Dan. Will there be Beyond Burgers? I mentioned Beyond Burgers. We got an email this week from somebody who wants vegan choices beyond and impossible. Who sent the email? You're kidding, right? You're fucking with me?

I'm not kidding. Who sent this? Just like a random fan of the Comedy Cellar? Yeah, we send out customer satisfaction emails. Yeah. Yeah. So somebody said we want vegan choices. What conversation did you and I have last week?

I don't recall. So, no. Perrielle's a vegan and wants more vegan choices. I conversation did you and I have last week? I don't recall. Periel's a vegan and wants more vegan choices. I'm not a vegan. He's a pescatarian. Let me ask you this as a pescatarian. Hold on. I asked the customer the same question I asked you. I said, but we don't have a meat-free grill.

Yeah, and what did they say? And I said, that's okay. And what did you say to them? And what did you say to them? I said, well, it's okay for you, but I would still be worried about some customer freaking out because we didn't make it clear to them.

And then I got to depend on the waitress to make sure that they told the customer, the perhaps drunk customer, you know, we make this on a meat grill. I'm just worried about it because we're not dealing with reasonable people. We're dealing with vegans. Can you bring this

customer onto this podcast? Because when I said that, I was like, it doesn't matter. You can just make a little asterisk on the menu and you're like, you don't know anything. Oh my god. Sounds reasonable to me. Wow. You're a pescatarian. That's me. Wow. Periol, you're a pescetarian. I am.

That's amazing. Fish is the only animal product that you eat. And shellfish. Is it because you believe fish don't have a consciousness, that they don't feel pain? Is this an ethical decision? It is an ethical decision. That's exactly my point.

Because it doesn't feel bad about the fish. No, no, no, that's not true. They're not alive. It's, it's not. Look, plants are alive. I mean, do you want me to answer? Yes, I do. I do. I don't know about no one. He doesn't. Okay. Go ahead. I do. I do. Perio. And then I have a question for you. It's not. Pull. It's keep talking. Pull. Go ahead. Go ahead, Perio. My biggest problem is really with the meat industry in America. It's not so much the eating of the animals, which I in and of itself don't love. But I think if there were a more ethical and less toxic and disgusting way that the animals were treated, I probably wouldn't have such strong feelings against the eating of meat. But they raise fish in the farms, right?

One fish on top of another. Okay, well, I'm not fucking perfect. Let me ask you this, Perrielle. Yeah. If the only way to avoid a terrible migraine once a month was to eat meat, would you eat meat? That's what my husband asks me about blowjobs. All right.

Yes, I probably, yeah, I'm sure I would. Okay. What about once a year? A terrible migraine that lays you up all day long. Yes. You would eat meat to avoid. All year for the one, to avoid the once a year. Oh. Would you eat meat all year to avoid one horrific

migraine? Yes. One for a 24-hour period? Yes. Okay. So, so, so, you're committed. Very dedicated. Yes. One for 24 hour period. Yes. Okay. So, so, so you're dedicated. Your commitment, your commitment to sparing animals suffering is, is I would suggest quite limited.

Well, I would, I would suggest that if you do read Peter Singer's philosophy is that it's your responsibility as a human being to reduce suffering as much as you can. As much as you can. Well, you can. When his mother was sick, he took all the resources for his mother. Remember that?

Yes. Wait a second. Hypocrite. As long as it doesn't cause you to suffer more. Yeah. That's Singer's philosophy. So you're saying one day a year of migraine is more suffering than all the animals that you've eaten. Wait, you're saying eat meat

once a year to avoid? No, I'm saying you eat meat all year. Oh, like, no, no, I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. I thought you meant would I eat meat once to avoid one terrible, yeah, no, I wouldn't do that. Now, what do you think it's worse? People who eat meat are impressionists. If you had to pick

one. Well, how about an impressionist who eats meat? My impression of Here's my impression. An impression is to eat meat. My impression of Pacino eating meat. Medium well. And that's, I wouldn't cut that one from the act. Anyways. Barrett led. You know what?

Your choice was medium well was the wrong one. What was I said? It had to be like really raw. Oh, yeah. Or very well. What are you going to do? Medium well is in the middle. It's like, it doesn't match the.

Yeah, medium well. I take a flamethrower to this party. I want it well done. Take a flamethrower. This cow has got a great ass. Barrett Letty. Much better, Dan. Barrett Letty, you are somebody that's been watching the podcast

for the past hour. What are your thoughts? You can come to the microphone, by the way. Because we like. This is like asking Randall about Israel. Go ahead. What are your thoughts? You can come to the microphone, by the way. Because we like... This is like asking Randall about Israel. Go ahead, what are your thoughts? Speak freely. Speak freely.

And you can do it as Gilbert Godfrey. Oh, okay. Oh, great. Well, I hate the Jews just as much as anyone else. I mean, fuck them. And so I was fisting my wife the other day, and my son starts fingering my daughter's ass. What did you ask me?

Oh, I said, what are your thoughts on this show? Oh, it sucked. No, it's been great. Yeah, Gilbert, it's been great to be with you. Oh, it sucked. No, it's been great. It's been excellent. Yeah, it's been... Gilbert, it's been great to be with you. Oh, yeah. Sorry, you're dead. Me too. Yeah, hard to make money when you're dead.

Gilbert Gottfried. But you save a lot of money. Back from the dead. You save a lot of money, Gilbert, when you're dead. Absolutely. Just ask Johnny Carson. I'm sure you do. Yeah.

Oh, my God. All right. Anything else you want to talk about? Anything on the news? Well, Tyree Nichols. I mean, that would be a very, very odd discussion to have after a Gilbert impression. Well, I don't like to talk about these subjects without having some person of color at the table, so maybe if you

wouldn't mind speaking to the black person. This should just be called Try to Get Him Cancelled, brought to you by The Comedy Cellar. And Sirius XM. Yeah, just, I mean, don't lay it on too heavy. We'll cut it out and nobody will know. The only way I'll do it,

I could just be talking about the Comedy Cellar expanding in that voice the whole time. Do you want to go in? Did you guys know that the Comedy Cellar is expanding? Oh, they're on a heater now? Oh, thank you very much. But it's good for Nicole. That's fantastic.

Thank you so much. Does this have to be on air, the heater? Yeah. What a guy. Thank you so much. I didn't expect it now. Thank you so much. Please text Tony. Tell him to thank you. I. Please text Tony. Tell him to thank you.

I can't do that. Tell him to thank you. Where, Matthew, are you doing stand-up in the city? Tony's amazing. Currently, I'm at The Stand a lot. We can cut that out, too. Yes. What's it like at The Stand?

They put me up. It's great. Is The Stand, Noam, the club that you feel is your biggest competitor? Is that Daniel Day-Lewis? I was just watching a Daniel Day-Lewis interview of,

oh my God, just him talking about his process. He's a mind-fucking guy. What if he ever did stand-up? Who's the best dramatic actor you think that's ever done comedy? Is there one that comes to mind? Done stand-up comedy? That's done stand-up comedy, yeah. I guess Robin Williams.

Yeah, Robin Williams. Jim Carrey, maybe? Robin Williams is better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Both comedy and acting. Do you think he's the best, like single-handedly? It's the best that anybody's mentioned. I guess Eddie Murphy.

Stand-up comics go. Bill Murray didn't do stand-up. Stand-up comics go. Do you think that it's easier for... Do you think that dramatic actors are better at being comedic?

Or do you think that a comedic actor could be better at being dramatic? Do you think it do you think that a comedic actor could be better at being dramatic? Say it again? Do you think it's more likely that a dramatic actor could be successful in comedies? No. Not stand-up.

Or do you think that a comedic actor could be better as a dramatic? Much more likely. Yeah, that's what I think, too. And, you know, things have... I'm trying to think of examples of comedic actors that have done well. They're more versatile, yeah.

Have done well. I'm sure there are. I just... Nothing is leaping more versatile. Have done well. I'm sure there are. I just, nothing is leaping to mind. Bruce Willis. Anyways, where am I getting up in the city? No,

but I asked you. Let's just list all the places that are not the cellar. Well, I asked you, is to stand your competitor in your mind, your biggest competitor.

I have a competition. So when you, so when, I can't stand to see anyone else succeed. Yeah. All right. Now we're all,

can you do that scene from There Will Be Blood? I need to do it. You're giving me homework. I'm going to do this. So Daniel Day-Lewis says that he has a competition and he can't stand to see it. Well, this is interesting. So I have a little bit of that.

I can't stand to see anyone else succeed, at least in the same industry. But is the stand our main competitor? I don't know. I don't know. Well, because you said to me the other day, these are the people that are working at the stand our main competitor? I don't know. I don't know. Well, because you said to me the other day, look, these are the people that are working at the stand. Should they be working here?

You didn't say, you know, that you... Well, the truth is that Caroline's is out of business. It's closed. Gotham, inexplicably, doesn't even list their lineup. Yeah, they don't really... Which it just says the Gotham All-Stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever that means. And then I didn't check New York Comedy Club,

which I think is actually, I think, you know, despite what I said about, you know, not liking to see people do well, I think they're doing a good job over there. I think they have made a lot of progress in a short time, becoming a name club that is doing a good job. They're aggressive in marketing. They get good acts.

I went there one night and I saw a good show, so I think they're pretty good. I was just listening to Jon Stewart when we were talking about his days. Don't tell me to talk about the stand. No, no, at the Cellar. At the Cellar. No, no, no, no.

He was talking about how much he loves the stand. No, no, he was talking about the Cellar and just his early days getting up there. It was great. Did you hear any of it? Are you going to do an impression of it? No. I'm just telling you.

It was a great listen, honestly. It was fantastic. No, I haven't heard it, but I love John. Yeah. I would. I would. Yeah. That thing is a fire hazard, I fear.

You're up at the cellar, right? No. Oh. No, she's not. All right. So anyway. I'm just doing a podcast. We've got to wrap it up. So I think The Stand is

I think, this is what I think about The Stand. I think The Stand does a better job than I do of knowing who the up-and-coming comics are. I think we don't do as well at that as we used to and as we should.

So I do take the stand's lineup seriously. I don't think it's an amateurish job that they're doing. And if somebody's performing at the stand, I want to take notice of it. Have you discovered somebody other than Tyler Fisher, is there somebody that was working the stand and you discovered them and said, holy shit, you know, this is a, what a find. No. Well then, then so, so that kind of contradicts your previous statement that they're doing a better job.

No, because I don't know who's, I don't know who's, who's there. If, listen, there's two ways to look at it. I can say to myself, you know what? There was one person working at the stand who would have been killing at the cellar and son of a gun. I, that, that, that person was introduced to me by a friend of a friend. It was Tyler Fisher. Or I could say to myself, if Tyler Fisher exists,

it's likely there's other people out there that exist. But have you looked at the stands lineup and then done the research? Hey, I'm on this podcast right now. You guys are starting to do that. It's very surprising for you to say that because there has been such a, I mean, flood, I guess, would be the right word.

Inundation. Infestation. Infestation. Careful. Deluge. Of new comedians here that, no, I was kidding about infestation.

Now we're investing. Look, from my point of view, it's a zero-sum game there's x number of shows and the more somebody else gets the less i get but really i had no idea that that didn't come through but go ahead but but the fact of the matter is there is a ton of new comedians at work here it seems like you are redoubling retripling if that's a word your efforts to get more than ever before uh there is just you know i've been coming here a long time and i've never seen this many new comics here at the comedy cellar so it seems like you're

it seems like you're really really really making an effort to to find new people and to bring new people in so it surprised me for you to say that the stand's not doing, is doing a better job at that. Maybe they are, but it seems like you guys are really, really, really making an effort these days. I don't know the answer to all those things. All I know is there was this comedian, Tyler Fish. Well, you got one, yeah. Yeah, and he's destroying, he's killing in his spots in the cellar.

And he was available two years ago. And I didn't know about him. And the only reason I found out about him was because, like I said, a friend says, you know, you should really, and I didn't take it seriously.

No, you can, I meet, can I bring Tyler down to meet you? I'm like, all right. And I didn't want to say no, because it's a friend.

And I met him. He says, you'll check out my tape. I said, sure enough. He's funny. What the fuck? But why didn't you take it seriously then?

I mean, it sounds like... Because what we... Well, because stupid me, I thought to myself, if this guy was great, wouldn't I have heard about it from somebody else besides this friend of mine who's not even in the comedy business?

I heard it from somebody who doesn't even exist in the comedy world. She just happened to know him because she's involved in politics and he did some viral clip that was coincided with her harmonies with her political beliefs,

that kind of thing. It was a total coincidence. And I'm like, well, that's a wake-up call to me. That's all. Well, okay, but that's one example. I still think the comedy star is probably doing a good job I don't think there's too many people That you don't know about

That are slipping through the cracks But I don't know that for sure Well, hopefully I don't, folks Right? China Now, Matthew has a huge How big is your TikTok following at this time? I've crossed socials almost over a million followers.

How many on TikTok? Almost 800,000. 800,000. Noam? What's mine? To what extent does this influence your decision to make Matt the face of the comedy cellar? Oh, boy. To make the new logo of the comedy cellar Matt Friend's face?

No, it doesn't influence my decision. I mean, it influences my analysis only in the sense that if somebody got a million followers on TikTok or, you know, across social media, including TikTok, then there's a better likelihood that there might be really great. Like, at some point, you can't get a million followers unless you're pleasing them in some way. But it wouldn't, if I saw you and you didn't do well. There's also an element of, like, I'm doing TikTok, but I'm also performing because there's a lot of TikTok people that say they're comedians,

but they've never done stand-up before. It's a whole other thing. How many on Instagram? Almost 150,000. I would never put you on because I thought that your TikTok following would be good for drawing customers unless I thought you deserved it.

Is your TikTok following filling rooms for you? Yes, it's starting to, yeah. It is. So at 800,000, it's starting to. No, it is. I'm going to other cities now. I was at the Miami Improv headlining there. I'm going to Horror Comedy Club.

I'm going to, sorry to mention all these other places. Noam doesn't. We'll bleep them out. Noam doesn't. I'm headlining the Punchline Philly. I'm going to the Kennedy Center in March. The Kennedy Center? I'm doing like an hour thing there, yeah,

for this entertainment series in March. Now, when you put your name on the lineup in the stand, and we should probably wrap this up. Yeah, sorry, we're talking about all this. Thanks for having me, by the way, guys. Our pleasure. Thanks for coming. When you put your name on the lineup in the stand, does that sell tickets for them?

I mean, I've been running through it. I've been doing multiple hour-long shows there, and I've been selling those out in their room. And then I did the New York Comedy Festival and sold that out. I think it does, because whenever I'm in the lineup there, I'm getting lots of messages from people coming to see you. How many women are sending you titty shots in your DM?

It's not just women, right, Dan? That's true. By the way, your voice is finally in here. I might just use it for like a fucking voiceover audition. Jesus Christ, you're like a fucking 1930s cartoon. However, I think it happened. A lot of women, a lot of titty shots. I don't know.

Not really. No one's sending me fucking pictures of their tits. Well, I'm surprised to hear that because you're a young looking guy. And if you've got all those followers, there would have to be some titty shots in those DMs. By the way, Comedy Cellar is expanding. Go ahead, sir. When you do the stand, you do one of these headline shows. They let you keep the door?

When I was doing that, yeah, there was like a split. Yeah, like a 70-30, I think. Why don't we take 70? The wheels are turning. Noam, what are you thinking? What are you thinking, Neil? Noam, the wheels are turning. No, just think. Why don't we take 70-30? The wheels are turning, Noam. What are you thinking? What are you thinking, Neil? The wheels are turning. No, just nothing.

The wheels aren't turning. It was funny. When I transferred to NYU, I went to Tufts for a year. I transferred to NYU in 2018. Noam went to Tufts. Did you? Yeah. That's right.

Do you know Hank Azaria at all? I don't know. I don't know. Are you the same? How old are you? Can I ask? I was class of 84. My dad was... Do you know any guy I was class of 84. My dad was...

You don't think I am Bill Friend? No. My dad was 80... I think my dad was like 83 or something. That's so weird. Anyways... I had a very small group of friends at college. I didn't like Tufts at all.

I didn't like it either. I transferred. That's as I said. But when I... That is hilarious. Yeah, no, but I went to NYU. I had a great time, but I didn't like Tufts. I had a great time.

I had a great group of friends. I'm still friends with them. I had fun there. I went to school with Tracy Chapman. I knew her. Did you? Tracy Chapman? Wait a second.

She's got a fast car. Can you imitate her? Isn't Tracy Chapman now married to Bruce? Isn't Tracy Chapman gay? No, that's something else. Now, you had a bad time at Tufts. Yeah. Did you have a good time at NYU, or was it just you all along?

No, I loved NYU. No, I was brought up because the first time I got to NYU here, I was waiting outside to try to get tickets at the Village Underground. They wouldn't let me in because I was like 19 or whatever, but then I remember Amy Schumer walked by, and she was buying a sombrero. A little store nearby. Waited for the living costs. This is great.

I was in Miller, and then I was in Carmichael for a semester. I was in Miller Hall until my first year. That's so weird. Nobody had a worse time at college than I did. But I don't mean to one-up you. Okay, we got to go. Well, first of all, let's just end with the Tufts fight song. What is it?

Let's give a reasonable closure to the podcast. Do things professionally. We've got to get a picture, too. I want to thank you guys. I think that's the right use of the word, closure. Barrett, we might grab a picture of us, by the way. We would like to thank Matt Friend for coming. Hopefully, he'll be working here.

I think he will be. How bad could he be? His impressions are good. I'm sure he's decent. Well, actually, people are saying I'm better than decent, but you can say it. I have a lot of confidence. Stand-up's not that hard anyway. It's hard.

I have a lot of confidence. And we destroy. That's what we do. We kill. I'm not going out there to not make people fucking laugh. Matt will be working here, if not probably this year, but if not in 2024. Trump is really a motherfucker, right? Thank you for doing that.

You're the one who said you wanted to wrap this up. Now just saying like you're opening up a whole new topic that persona no I know it's so weird it's so rich and huge I know but you you got to have a very specific take on it that's what you have to do because you said earlier it's so overdone people try to do it Baldwin does it fails like a dog and that a dog. You got to be very specific. And I, Amanda, like... Overdone, like the way Pacino likes his burger. I do different bits on the Trump thing. I do Trump...

I did a bit of... I don't want to get back into Trump. I'm just saying that... We're going to wrap this up. We're going to do it professionally. You know, this phrase that's overused, a force of nature, like certain people who just, like, defy the suit generis. Like, Trump is just such a unique human persona.

It's also just wild, like... Like Hitler. You were talking about morals and ethics earlier. It's like everyone, especially in the comedy world, when they do something wrong, they're blacklisted for a certain... Trump has never, he's always been able to go unscathed to anything. Like, Billy Bush's career

he got fucked. And then Trump just becomes, that blows my mind out of that whole thing. And I think that way when I watch old Hitler movies. Old Hitler? I thought you meant Hitler was a director. Hitler made movies? And I say to myself, maybe it's just because I don't live in that time

that this was somehow, oh there's another little screaming guy. Like maybe this was like a typical persona for that time. But it seems like. The screaming guy was a typical German person. I'm just saying. Everyone in Germany was screaming in the 40s. Or.

He didn't always scream, of course. There is one recording of him on a train, which I was talking with Barrett about before the show, where he's actually talking like a normal human being. But like Gilbert Godfrey, he's mainly known for screaming. But anyway, or this guy came up with this larger-than-life personality that you would think, if he tried it out, like, Adolph, people are going to think that's ridiculous. Adolph, cut back this. Adolph, just chill a little bit.

You can do what you want, but I advise i advise against i love the idea that adolf that he was like rehearsing this persona he was no no but like the idea that like that his friends that just ate off like a little lower on the volume no i know what i'm doing i know what i'm doing i'm gonna be considered one of the great orators of all time apparently he used to in front of the mirror he used to rehearse uh his gestures and his movements and studied that. It is interesting. Do you think his friends called him Hitler or Adolf? Do you think they were on a first, like his close friends?

I think they called him A.H. Okay, on that note. What was the guy's name of the guy who was anti-Israel again? Randall. They called him Randall, actually. Good night, everybody. And the amazing Jonathan. Thank you, Matt Friend.

Thanks for having me. Who can be found on TikTok? Add yourself. He's got 800,000 followers. Maybe you'll be 100,000 in a month. Yeah, I'm also on Truth Social and Parler. You can find me there. The alt-right loves me. At the Matt Friend.

There we go. Thank you, Barrett Letty. Barrett Letty for lending your voice. Robin Quivers and Gilbert Godfrey were as good as I've heard. Do you do Tucker Carlson? I do. I actually just did Tucker on Colbert.

I did like a voiceover. Shut up. Obey. Good evening and welcome to Tucker Carlson tonight. Many people are saying that Joe Biden is a lizard. Yeah, it's a crazy laugh there. Yeah. is a lizard. Yeah, it's a crazy laugh there. Yeah, he's a frightening guy. I also do Chris Wallace, which is

so niche. Stay tuned for next time, Matt. In 2028, when I'm finally allowed to perform in the cellar, I will do my Chris Wallace. Welcome back to Who's Talking with Chris Wallace. Sorry, go ahead. Finish the show. Let's end this. Bye. Bye. Okay, I guess we'll be before. Welcome back to Who's Talking with Chris Wallace. Sorry, go ahead.

Finish the show. Let's end this. Bye. Bye. Okay, I guess we'll just end it like that.