The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Mike Cannon

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

Mike Cannon is a comedian, podcaster and actor. His newest special is called Mike Cannon's Huge Mistake. He is a regular at The Comedy Cellar.   

Wait, hold on. This is live from the table, recorded at the world famous comedy cellar coming at you on Sirius XM 99 Raw Dog. And on the Laugh Button Podcast Network, we have with us Perry Alashian-Brandt coming with us via Zoom from Tel Aviv, Israel, or somewhere thereabout.

I'm not sure if it's Tel Aviv or Bat Yam or some other place in that vicinity. But welcome, Periel, via Zoom. Thank you. Noam is not here. Why? He left us a rather ambiguous message saying something came up. He saw the guest. Now, for Noam to miss a podcast a podcast that something need not be of great

significance uh if he misses he's not in town correct so he would have been zooming in uh is he still in maine he wasn't here on last night for music night or rather on on monday night for music night i thought he was back by now but in any case if alan dershowitz were here my suspicion is that he would have made it but i can't say that for certain uh the he may be something important might have come up we have with us also one just doesn't know with him we also have with us comedy seller regular he's an actor and a podcaster and a comedian mike cannon is his name thanks for having me father above all and other and husband okay okay uh we can get into that uh if you wish uh and he's a relatively young guy in his uh in his early 30s or so um which by

comedian standards to have a kid is i think pretty young. Anyway, he has he's he's he's also not only does he have kids, but he also has recently given birth to a special comedy special called Mike's Huge Mistake. It's a crowd work special. That's right. Yeah. Out August 17th on my YouTube, YouTube dot com slash my canon comedy. Crowd work, of course, is a term we use in the comedy business, meaning you talk to the crowd. That's probably evident, but I'm not sure what's evident and what's not anymore, because I've been doing this so long that I don't know. Like when years ago, somebody said to me, I got to do a spot and I didn't know what he was talking about. And spot is the term that we use for a set on stage.

Yeah. And I didn't know what set meant either, by the way, at that time. So I try to keep in mind that people might not know the terms that we use. But crowd work is fairly self-explanatory. You talk to the crowd. Yeah. On an edible. So there's a, you know, crowd work specials. I think everybody knows what it is now because it's also the popular popularized form of posting stand up now on social media. It's like it doesn't burn material. People like it at spur of the moment. It looks like a magic trick. So I think a lot of people are kind of familiar with that. But yeah, I took some edibles to set the special apart from all the other ones being released about one hundred and fifty

milligrams and then performed one hour of of crowd work. No jokes. Just going one hour in one shot. Or was it edited together all in one shot? So straight up the same show, one show, one shot, 150 millis. But that is an insane amount. For some people, it is. And for me, it is like that's a lot for me. But other people are like, you're you're a pussy a pussy well i don't know what that what 100 and whatever that milligram is that you stated i'm not sure what that is but if perriel says there's a lot then i guess it's a lot no no it's not just like a lot like 20 milligram edibles is like will fuck you up like 150 milligrams but mike is obviously an experienced marijuana user yeah for sure uh So that makes a difference. Well, and the fact that he was able to get up and do an hour of standup

says to me that it wasn't a crippling amount of of of marijuana. No, but I think I think I'm always wondering because it it also like 150 is kind of a different measure. Well, have you watched the special? It could have been drooling for an hour and you didn't know. I bought a beanbag chair just for the special, just in case I wanted to lay down and like relax.

And where did you do it here at the Comedy Cell? No, I did it at a New York Comedy Club on 24th Street. It's very small, very compact. It felt like a sleepover. You know, it was it was more like a more like a fun hang where everybody was also high, which was fun. No, does not mind, by the way. Not that you are concerned about this necessarily, but promoting other clubs.

No, I'm so confident in the dominance of the comedy that you are free to to promote and and and talk up another comedy. Totally different part of town, too. They respect the comedy. But even if it weren't the comedy seller, it's so dominant. Yeah, that no, I'm really at this point is not too terribly concerned. It's a juggernaut. They respect the comedy. But even if it weren't the comedy seller, it's so dominant. Yeah. That no, I'm really at this point is not too terribly concerned. It's a juggernaut. It is a juggernaut. But which is as a comic.

And I've said this before. Sometimes we like to perform at other clubs. We feel less pressure. I think. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's part of it. I mean, here you really want to like you want to show out because there's so many great comics.

The shows are always packed the audiences are like as as big of comedy fans as i think you get in the city because a lot of them are like tourist destinations people want to try on comedy for the first time they're in new york they feel like it's something to do that's like geographically significant to the city so in other clubs it can get kind of muddled with people that have never experienced comedy before. And so it's a it's a terrible experience. But here it's I mean, everybody's here on purpose. What where can we see the Mike's huge mistake? So, yeah, that's at YouTube dot com slash Mike Cannon comedy. Also, I released an hour special earlier this year in May called Mike White Privilege Homeless. And that's a full hour of curated material that I was. Why do you call it white privilege homeless?

Because it it's the tag of a joke that I really like. And it's also the it defined me for about 14 months. My family and I, we we moved out of the city during the pandemic and we lived at my in-laws like giant ass house right outside of the city. And so we were basically homeless, but in a very well homeless in the best possible way. Exactly. Yeah. However, I did take quite an ear beating on like QAnon stuff. So, you know, everything everything kind of comes with its benefits and cons, I suppose. That that it does. You don't have anybody in your life like that.

Nobody just absolutely unloads their conspiracies all over um no not really i if they do i mean i have people uh that are um you know anti-vax or or global warming skeptics not full-on queuing on people and i usually tell them we can't talk about this right you know we'll talk about anything else but we're not gonna talk about this i think i have i i mean i make just so much eye contact with people that anybody that like latches on is immediately in like they just see that they have a target acquired. And I hosted a conspiracy theory podcast for three years. So I'm into like I'm into it. I like it. I like the story and stuff like that.

Obviously, it's changed over time, but I no longer want to participate in the conversation. But people find me. They just know. This hour special. I mean, you know, it's hard over an entire hour to do crowd work. And I assume when you told me you did a crowd work special that it was edited from various, but you said you did it all in one shot.

So certainly the muse is not going to be there for an hour. I mean, there's going to be moments where it's like, or maybe not. Maybe you're on fire the whole hour. Here's the thing. So I I did not plan to do an hour. I went in there just like maybe this will be a 20 minute thing. This will be a fun, like kind of short video, short, special, easily digestible. I'll be on an edible. If it goes well, great. If I make a fool out of myself, that's also kind of comedy. So why not put it out? And then it was on 420. I promoted it. So it was my listeners and followers and stuff that showed up. They were also on edibles. And it was just a like really nice symbiotic wave that we rode together.

So there are moments for sure where I hiccup and nearly fold in on myself and die. But there for the most part, it's like a pretty, pretty nice wave. Now, when you do crowd work, do you do the standard? Where are you from? I'm from, you know, say Louisville. Oh, what do you do in Louisville? Sure. And you keep asking questions until something hits you.

Yeah, I think I mean, that's obviously what you that's the go to. That's like the baseline of everything. But in this in particular, and I think that's what edibles helped make it, is that we got into some pretty weird areas pretty quickly. I mean, I found out, you know, if people were like pro or anti dolphin, you know, I don't know. We're just discussing the fabric of reality. Now, I know that America is very divided. I didn't know the dolphins were controversial. That's right.

But we had a woman scream out. She's very anti dolphin. She would not pay any money to ride them at a resort. She thinks that's offensive. And well, she might be anti dolphins being used for entertainment. You'd think. But she said she's anti the animal dolphins. You know, people have said they they rape. Is that that's right? I don't know if this is true. They also take psychedelics or they have, but not they didn't choose to. But scientists were testing acid or LSD on dolphins since they're the closest brain to us. Well, I didn't know that.

Yeah. Since Noam's not here, we would have discussed Trump's, you know, whatever's going on with him. They've they've raided Mar-a-Lago, but I know so little about that. And Noam's not here. So I guess we'll we'll we'll pass on that. But I do want to don't want to just speculate. I really have no idea what's going on. I just I just assume Noam is going to be here and that he would take us through it step by step. So that because I you know, that's how I get a lot of my news from Noam.

I just know that they they they they raided his Mar-a-Lago. They said he took documents from the White House, which he's not authorized to do. And well, I guess they're off. And I don't know what to be on them. Right. Well, I don't know. I don't think so. I think there's just some law where you certain things you can't take out of the way. I mean, you probably take pens and towels, but but not whether documents.

Yeah, not that. um i don't know unless perry now perry has been in israel so she's a little out of the loop are they still shooting over there perry oh um no there's a ceasefire thank god they called a ceasefire about 24 hours ago so and you were there during the whole thing, though. Yes, I was. One might conjure up some sort of theory as to why the fighting started just as Periel was arriving.

But we'll leave that for listeners to speculate. But you were there during the thick of the rocket exchanges. Correct. I was actually about to do a spot at a comedy club in tel aviv and i was 10 minutes away from the club when like we got a bunch of phone calls because the alarms go off when missiles are coming toward the respective city. So I actually turned the car around and drove back to where, like where I'm staying. Do you have like a bomb shelter there?

There are bomb shelters in every, every, like every house has a bomb shelter here. Every restaurant, every store, every building has a bomb shelter. And so when you hear the alarm you're supposed to have, depending on where you are, if you're down south, closer to Gaza, you could have like five seconds. I mean, they were sleeping in the bomb shelters there for days. I'm a little bit further North. Tel Aviv is further North. So we had like a minute and a half to get into the bomb shelters. Once the missiles are coming. You missed, you missed your show. I missed that. Most importantly, I didn't do my spot. They gave you the light early.

Yeah. I mean, it was terrifying. Although I mean, I didn't do my spot. They gave you the light early. Yeah. I mean, it was terrifying. Although, I mean, I'll have a, I'm doing the show on Friday, so that'll be fun again. Although the guy who does it, who was nice enough to invite me, told me that I should come anyway, because it's just a fact of life here. And if everybody turned around and went home, nobody would ever do anything. Well, the good news is if, I mean, I don't know if it's good news,

but I mean, you could get some interesting social media posts out of it. I mean, if a bomb goes off and you're on stage and... Well, yeah, I mean... I mean, it's all about the clicks. Yeah, you just got to get them captured. I mean, it's insane about all about the clicks yeah you just gotta get a caption and i mean it's insane it's really insane it's like it's true though because people are just like continuing to eat their falafel i was like under the table just like terrified there's a robust english-speaking comedy scene in tel av Well, you would know better than I would.

You were just here. I know, but you're there. And I'm asking a question to which I know the answer, but that's sometimes what we do in the podcasting business. I didn't know that. It seems that there is a robust English speaking comedy scene here. It seems that even the very famous Israeli comedians are very eager to do time in English, much like perhaps you, Dan, are always eager to do time in French.

Actually, I stopped doing comedy in French because it made me sick to my stomach with anxiety. But I might do it. I might go to Montreal and record a set because I haven't done it in a while. And, you know, I might do that. That would be great. Yeah, you know, I've done it before, but it's been a few years because truly I'm so anxious. I'm anxious before a set in English.

So one can imagine. Do you have to immerse yourself in the language for like a set amount of time before you do that? I've sort of self-immersed to maintain my level of french i've been maintaining it now for many years by reading in french by watching tv if there's a audio track in french for a netflix movie or like i watched squid games in french for example um they had a french yeah uh you know so so I as much as possible and if I meet

and if I meet a French person and they're willing to talk to me in French because oftentimes they're trying to practice their English then I will do that so I'm always you know trying to maintain

my level of French it's not native level by any means you know what I'm going to do when I come back nope I'm going to find a nice French girl

who's cute and then she's going to be psyched to chat with you. OK, fine. I won't I won't protest that. I'll bet you won't. Is that your type? Would you if you were? Well, if well, it's just an added bonus. I mean, if they can speak French, why not? You know, like they say, it's just as added bonus. I mean, if they can speak French, why not? You know, like they say, it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man. It's just as easy to fall in love with a French speaker as a non-French speaker. I don't know why that never occurred to me. You obviously need a French girlfriend. Well, it's an added bonus.

Do you like that? It's an added bonus to to assuming that they wanted to speak to me in French. Because like I said, I have a terrible problem with French people that want to speak English. Because they want to improve their English. So it becomes a sort of a battle. And at some point you have to say, look, I mean, you're nice and all, but if we're not going to speak French, then, you know, then we got to just go our separate ways here. Only you could take the prospect of like having like a hot French girlfriend and like her not wanting to talk to you in French becomes like. That's a big issue is any language learner knows and any and we're going to have a language learning expert on next week, I believe. And I look forward to that. And we're going to talk about all about language acquisition.

So the best case scenario is a woman that is from here that is also trying to keep up her French. Now, if she's from here, that means she's not a native French speaker. And that doesn't do me a whole lot of good. Yeah. Well, maybe from the I don't know. Never mind. I just got myself dizzy. No, we need somebody who doesn't speak English at all. Yeah.

Or who doesn't speak at all. Well, that doesn't do me any good in terms of my listening comprehension. So I'll be doing I mean, it's I think the crowd ostensibly speaks some Hebrew, too. So I'll be doing it part in English, part in Hebrew. Wow. It's like Spanglish. Well, then post it on social media because that's all that could be something interesting. Yeah, I think so. I mean, I think I get to have like a pretty interesting perspective. But comics from other countries do think that English is.

The only language in which to do comic like, you know, in France, there's like a friend, Gad, who came here. Remember him? Yeah. And he thought that, well, I'm a star in France, but unless I do comedy in English, I haven't really hit the pinnacle. So that's not uncommon. You're saying about Israeli comics. I want to do comedy in English. It's perceived as the language of comedy. Yeah.

Well, we invented it, right? Yeah, I believe that's that is something we invented that in the musical comedy and the music, you know, the Broadway musical. Those are American inventions. No kidding. And Laffy Taffy. Is that true? I think so. I think we actually can kind of like opera is a european art form but i believe the musical the broadway musical style i believe is an american thing i was talking about laffy taffy oh i i just threw that in there

i'm assuming that sounds it just sounds very american um so you know, they have all sorts of edibles now that look exactly like Laffy Taffy's or Tootsie Rolls or things of that nature. Tootsie Rolls I never got into. That's to me. Other than being brown, it has nothing to do with chocolate. And I don't know what the hell it is. You don't think. Oh, man, I guess it's like it's not exactly chocolate. I think it was originally like a chocolate substitute during the war when they were rationing chocolate.

I think so. I think I read that somewhere. And I mean, you talk about, you know, a swing and a miss. And somehow that awful candy is still around. Can I give you an underrated chocolate chewable candy? Rolos. Oh, I like. I don't know.

I feel like I feel like they're not properly rated. You never hear somebody. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you're right. David Tell doesn't talk about it on stage. That's how you know it's underrated. But that would be something that'd be right up his alley. How would you like a rollout? You know, that's just a word that he would.

If were it more in the public consciousness, it would be a word that I would think he would use. I mean, you should get him a pack of rolls and you might. But I just don't think he perceives it as sufficiently well known like Jolly Ranchers is something he very much discusses that's a punchline of his in more than one joke well then it's

our job to build the buzz of Rolo's I was at monkey box is something that I'm sure he's must have integrated into his act I don at monkeypox is something that I'm sure he's must have integrated into his act. I don't want to talk about that. Talk about what monkeypox. Yeah. Well, before we get to monkeypox, I don't have too much to say,

but I do want to talk about something that was affected me more than I would have would have a guest. And I think that's true for a lot of people. That is the death of Olivia Newton-John. Who I be, Sandy. Pardon? I said, all right. Sandy.

Yes, Sandy Olsen from the movie Grease. That is correct. Michael. Sandra Dee. No, not Sandra Dee. Sandra Dee. She was Sandy. Sandra.

Sandra Dee. Look at me. I'm saying I know. But that's because they were they were oh was that sandra d is like somebody else and they were like comparing her sandra d was a virtuous woman who was a prude and they were yeah i think so sandra d was like some 50s uh icon or something known for period i'm not so sure about that but i've been misinforming people for years well that's okay i mean i'm sure you're missing performing people about other things too yeah a lot but uh olivia newton john age of 73 which if i were 20 i would have said

well she had a good run but being a bit north of 20 it seems almost young to me to be honest with you i think that gnome's father was the same age actually when he died yeah um uh the cancer would not leave this poor woman alone. 30 years, right? She got it in 1992. And then I think she was in remission and then it came back. And then I don't know if there was a remission or a partial remission. And then it came back again a couple of years ago and in a far more severe form, I think. Yeah.

But and that's what ultimately got her but um i i feel very saddened about it i think i i think it it's um affected people more than like i said i would have imagined especially for a woman that really hasn't been really in the public eye for a long time greece was 19. Why are you so upset about this? Well, it's not like I'm just completely bereft. I mean, I mean, I'm functioning. It's just I

find it very of all the celebrity deaths and, you know, whether it's Prince or Bowie or whoever we've had over the years over the past. Neil Peart. I don't know. I'm just coming up with.

Well, I'm just trying to just came to mind. Yeah, I get the celebrities that have died, you know, over the past few years. This one was the most upsetting. Why? Well, I think it's because of a few reasons. Number one, it's. She just seemed like a really decent woman

and by all accounts and by all evidence was just as nice as her character in the movie Grease. Okay, I never saw the movie Grease, but I mean that just seems like an insane thing to say. What's insane to say?

I mean, I don't know. I'm sure David Bowie was really nice also. I'm sure he was. And by all accounts, was a good man. But the sweetness of a first of all, she's a woman. And I think that the natural protective instinct of a man. Yeah, it takes hold. I like to see him get picked off and uh well once again uh mike's huge mistake available on youtube um she just like there's something about a sweet woman i think that's going to tug the heartstrings a little bit more than david bowie not that the loss of david Bowie wasn't tragic and sad. Can I tell you why? But she seems like a mommy. You know, she seems like a mommy. Yeah, I don't

see. Weirdly enough, she looks my mother and her have very similar features. They kind of look alike. My mother was at a try. Is that a track? My mom's a dime, dude. You love her. But yeah, they kind of look like and that made threw me into an existential you know vortex of considering my mother's mortality so that's more or less why I got really sad about it I wasn't even sad about Olivia Newton-John I was more sad about my mom who kind of looks like her well perhaps I'm sad about just mortality in general, but, but right. I figured these are, you know, when, when somebody dies in there and they're older than you, but like, it's not, they're not ridiculously old.

That obviously reminds us all of, of the minefield that we're walking through in life, you know, but, but and also, yeah, Greece was a movie that, you know, it was a big part of my childhood and a very iconic. Right, so this literally has nothing to do with her. Does it ever? Does it ever, really? You know, somebody dies, it's always about you.

But no, but she also, no, I do feel a certain sympathy because she just seemed like a great lady. And because, as I i said this cancer just would not leave her alone for the past 30 years of her life it was stalking her at every turn and was it well it was there it was there it was it came back twice and i assume it was she probably had to get tested all the time you know know, even when she was in remission, it's part of your life and it's there. And, you know, I don't know this for sure. I like this side of you, Dan.

I like seeing how much of a soft spot you have for Olivia Newton-John. This has nothing to do with the way it has to do with Olivia Newton-John and other things as well. Imagine if she spoke French, you'd be beside. Well, I don't know if she didn't speak french she probably didn't because australians like americans usually don't speak anything other than english as per the joke in my act that is true um that's a good joke thank you you're a good comedian man thank you uh nicole do you have any thoughts about olivia newton john you're very you're much younger than than uh than i am but um

and i don't know that you know greece yeah i don't have like a deep personal connection to it my mom was very obsessed with greece so it was my personal mission to never watch it um but yeah i don't really feel a personal connection other than like the cancer like you mentioned i've lost people to cancer so it's really tough to hear she struggled for so long that's very sweet thank you um nicole that was well put do you know who would be my olivia newton john i think kate winslet i think that would be my she went if she went because listen i don't have an everyday love connection with kate winslet but she's somebody who has left an indelible impression in my life through one major movie, Titanic. That's a big movie in my life.

But then also, you know, several other things outside of that. And I feel like she is kept in my consciousness. So that would be a hurt. That would that would ruffle me. You know, what has she done besides Titanic of note? I know she's I know she's done a lot of stuff. Revolutionary Road made me and my girlfriend at the time. Now, wife, get into a near relationship ending fight on the sidewalk after seeing that movie.

It is like the absolute perfect showcase for a dysfunctional couple, a couple that should not be together. And it will drive anybody to fight. I didn't see the movie, so I can't. It's good. Oh, man, it really closes with a harsh homemade abortion too but otherwise wow yeah yeah really good movie well maybe i'll have to check it out uh does it is it available in french i believe so we you know when i when i well on netflix i i look at the audio track and i most movies are

available in spanish a relatively small number are available in French. So it's nice to find. Why don't you, I mean, maybe you have, maybe you're a, maybe you're, I can watch it in English as well,

but why don't you just watch French film? Cause they suck. No, they don't. They're awful. It's boring. What about Audrey tattoo or what? And don't recommend Call My Agent either.

I'm going to throw something. I don't know what that is. That's a series in a French series on Netflix that actually Todd Barry likes it. And a couple of people tell me how much they like it. I didn't really like it at all. I'm exaggerating in terms of my antipathy for it. But I don't really like it that much. Do you know what it sounds like though?

It sounds like there's a market open for a good French show. And it sounds like a writer of, of your standards could make that. Well, maybe the French like the shows that they have. I just don't. Yeah. And I don't think there's a market for people that are, that are French, you know, speakers of French as a second language to practice. I'm not going to make a movie just for them. Now, do you like,

are you a big fan of France? I mean, have you spent a lot of time in Paris? Yeah, I've spent time in Paris. Also, the Paris Hotel is where I did America's Got Talent, but aside from that, yes, I've been to Paris a few times.

I don't love it. It smells weird. No, it doesn't. It does not smell weird. Isn't it weird you did America's Got Talent in the Paris hotel? It's weird, isn't it? That's actually interesting.

I mean, that feels like the universe talking. Right? Yeah, for sure. But first of all, you live in a fucking cesspool of New York City. Maybe I'm just used to it. No, Paris is the architecture is beautiful. I just I don't love France. There's nothing I you know, people make that mistake all the time.

They call me a Francophile, but I know I just think it's cool to speak a second language. And I had a French because I have bad memories of Spanish because of Mrs. Cahill in high school. And. You know, and I was at your Spanish. That was my junior year Spanish teacher. And why do you have bad memories of? You know, I know I didn't like I in high school, I didn't have any interest in foreign languages.

And that interest came in later life. So I was I hated that. I hated just I hated the class. OK, because I probably would have hated any class. I don't mean to dump on Mrs. Cahill. I just thought it was funny. She's probably with Olivia Newton-John. Yes.

No, she was very young at that time. She was in her 20s, I think, at the time. So she was a young teacher. But yeah, so and I have some family connection to French because my parents are Montrealers. They're not French speakers, but they're born and raised in Montreal. So I do have some childhood memories of seeing signs in French. I mean, I don't know. That's like being a Notre Dame fan because you're Irish. I get it. You know, there was some connection. So the question is, why didn't

you take French in high school? Because everyone said Spanish was easy. Right. And it's not, by the way, I think it's probably harder. It's probably harder. And it's it's certainly no easy. I also took French all through high school, so I'm with you. You're saying I took German. That's harder than. Yeah, that is harder than both Spanish. But I know I quite I think quite a bit. I cheated my entire way through it because I was an idiot where I, again, was faced with the same decision. What do you choose?

And we had one of those like in fifth grade, we had to choose what we would take from middle school. So they would present the languages in Spanish class that their presentation French did their presentation. And then German, they had like three kids in the class. They're a failing, you know, failing part of the educational thing. So they had to get some kids in. And so they took out like puppets.

They did this entire show. And I fell hook, line and sinker and immediately signed up. And I don't remember shit. Yeah, it's much harder. You can't speak German. They're very, very minimally. I can say the gates means like what's up or how are you

escape me that means I'm good means do you play soccer our mine and that means my nose hurts baby which means attention baby I think that's right attention probably

should what's that the SS Which means attention, baby, I think. That's right. Knocked on attention. Probably. Schutzstaffel. What's that? That's the SS. Oh, I thought that's protective guard in German is the Schutzstaffel. And that's what the SS is. You get there. Entschuldigung, bitte.

Genetik in Frau. Oh, wow. That's what is that? You're probably the best German speaker here. That was good. I just have a good accent. Unless Nicole is hiding something, you know, she might be. Excuse me, please. My good lady.

Nice. That's interesting. Nice. It's funny because anytime there's a German audience member, I'll throw out like the gates or something like that. And so few people know German as just even like a passive language that they are immediately like fans forever they they love it it's a me it's awesome yeah germans like we all know a little bit of spanish and maybe a little bit of french and other than other than uh scheidenfrud we don't know much german it's a horrible sounding language well i don't think necessarily so i think it can

nicole by the way you find this this discussion engaging i do do you really the only german that i ever learned was what's that dog shit nice i think unless that's just a total lie oh yeah it sounds right i took it in middle school so i learned dubish full as well and that means you are gay. Well, if this conversation is full, full is gay? So I think it's S-C-H-W-U with an umlaut L. Without the umlaut, it probably

means something else. It's umlaut? Umlaut or umlaut? Umlaut. No, I know, but is it umlaut or umlaut? I think it's got a T at the end. If you're enjoying this discussion, join us next time. For the next week, we have an expert in language acquisition.

Now, that's a guest no more. She's not on the next week. Stop saying that. But whenever she's on. Okay. It's coming, it's coming. Right, it's on. Okay. It's coming. It's coming. Right. It's coming. Any thoughts on the break?

How come you didn't, yeah. Wait. I'm sorry. How come you didn't even check in on me when we were in the middle of a war? I thought I would at least get like a fucking WhatsApp. Well, look, let's face it. How many casualties were there among among israelis how many i don't know but i think you'll find that there were zero no that's not true there were people

in the south that were killed number one and that's not the point you don't just need to check on me to see if i'm alive look you're being inconsistent but you have a better chance of dying crossing the street in new york city and i don't check on you on in on you when you're here. First of all, if we're going to look at the statistics, it's like these people on Facebook that check in safe from fucking some some something that, you know, there was a car accident in L.A. And I'm checking in safe. Motherfucker, I know you're safe. I also don't care. That is another thing thing you could just text

your parent you know if you're if you have a better chance of of if you're over 50 you have a better chance of dying of a heart attack yeah but you're not checking in safe from that no um that's sort of what i'm getting at here is that i knew you were okay i was freaking out i was not okay is my and if you weren okay. I was freaking out. I was not okay. And if you weren't okay, I'd assume I'd have heard news. Well, I'm telling you I was not okay. I would have heard something like hey, Perrie, I can't make it

for the next every podcast. It was terrifying. I'm not kidding. It's really fucking crazy. Well, we're glad that you are safe. Thank you. And'm not kidding. It's really fucking crazy. Well, we're glad that you are safe. Thank you. And you look good. Thank you.

You look great. Any thoughts on the breakup? Bringing things back to the comedy world and I don't know if anybody has any thoughts about this, but apparently Pete Davidson, Kim Kardashian no longer a couple. I can't believe it.

Apparently their schedules were, I don't know exactly what happened, but they have broken up. I like the idea of covering pop culture on the podcast. And I would say the most sort of, first of all, I read that Kanye West put on his Instagram that Pete Davidson or Skeet Davidson or whatever the hell he calls him was dead at age 28. And Kim Kardashian became incensed. Because, I mean, Kanye was really like her like kanye's a wacky dude yeah i i mean i read that pete had to get like said he went went into therapy or something for he probably did he

was like totally fucking harassing them it was insane nobody should be able to behave like that it's like grow up it was horrible i mean i don't know kim or pete personally but it seems like completely you know i think we've discussed this before what is what it what does pete have that makes so many women go crazy a huge thick dick well probably yes that is most of it i think but how much how important is that he he's young he's funny he he is cool he's very cool in the way he presents himself he just has uh he just has a thing that i think women are attracted to kind of a uh you know a non-chalantness that kind of like that character that he does on snl that was his name chad or something i think so yeah okay okay okay

you know that character yeah i think less the less is more sort of thing, you know, and people, women especially love broken people. They love to try to fix things. And they despite, you know, whatever he's got going on, they'll always try to put that person together. And I suppose once he got Ariana Grande or whoever, he's immediately jumped level. He jumped so many levels. He's going to need trauma therapy to try to get back with a normal person. Well, I don't know that he's going to be getting back with a normal person. Now, I think it's going to continue doing what he's doing. Nicole, do you have any thoughts on that? And again, I know, Nicole, I hate to press upon you

because I know you prefer to be quiet behind your screens. But you're a young woman, single or not single, but not married. Do you have any thoughts on Pete Davidson, what his appeal might be? I think like completely what Mike said is correct, but it's not for me. You don't like big dicks. Yeah, for sure. The rest of it, not really.

But he is a sweet person. It's just like, you know, I think it's just like the hot girl seal of approval. And now once he's got Ari, once he got Ariana, then he was sort of approved. And now everybody wants to know what's how do you get Ariana? What's he got? And so I want to.

Yes. And I think that like people think that it's unique to think that he's hot. Yeah. I would also love to just see him like wrist deep in Oprah next. Just and I wouldn't I wouldn't put it past him. Yeah. Where do you think that the answer that you're looking for is that. And he should do that. What the French call a je ne sais quoi. Right. Okay, but that doesn't get us anywhere.

Well, I mean... That literally means I don't know what. No, it means that like certain... A certain something that you can't put your finger on. You can't articulate. But I'm trying to put my finger on. But you can't. I mean, there's not like a reason.

Like lots of guys have big dicks yeah yeah i mean i don't know if you're being serious michael do you think the big dick is really that important i think that's definitely part of it i mean that doesn't hurt in terms of room for him got divorced and was immediately like yeah i want to get filled up who am i going to look to and then she's oh that's right that little skinny kid on SNL I met last week. He's not really that thin. He's pretty in pretty good shape. I mean, he's in awful shape. He looks like an emaciated, like I'm not saying that in a bad way.

I'd fuck him, but I'm just saying he's not jacked. No, but he's in good shape. He's not jacked. He's got human tarantula body. He's very long. Which I think women like a lanky guy yeah and it's certainly better than dad bod i think that's that's absolutely true although some women really

like dad but yeah they like to like need the the stomach like a cat with a soft blanket oh i'll tell you i i mean of all people now pete's one of those guys that i knew before you know there's several people that I knew before they were anything. Kevin Hart, Amy Schumer, Pete Davidson is one of them. And I'll tell you, he would have been I just of all the people that I would have never predicted. He's at the top of my list of people. I just would. I was really never would have like Kevin Hart in terms of being successful in terms of being where they are, where they are now.

I saw that coming. You know, the truth is you can't really predict any of. Yeah, but I don't I don't believe you can predict it. No, I'm always says he saw Jon Stewart and he knew that Jon. I said, no, you didn't know. You didn't know that. You didn't know. Maybe you thought and you probably thought that about 10 other people that you forgot

that didn't go anywhere. I don't think it's I think very few people are predictable. But I think of those that did succeed, I of the people, if I had to make a list of who's the most likely a Pete would not have been very high on that list. He would have made mine. I started with Pete. So I kind of saw the early trajectory and people being interested in him from a young age. Also, his story, as tragic as it is, is a perfectly packageable story to sell. It's it's

it's the most New York story of all time. So it makes sense that he's on the most New York comedy show and has since risen to fame because he's the face of a generation to which you can. You brought this up. You said people were interested in him. And that's something that you can't you can't see that that you can see. If people, you know, there's certain comics that very quickly attract interest from. I'll tell you something. And that you can see. And that was the case with Jon Stewart. That was the case with Zach Galifianakis. Che, too. Che. People really love.

As far as just somebody that's so funny that they're going to make it. I just think there's a lot of very funny people, and some of them don't. It's not just funny. I think that what Mike's saying is really true. There's a real vulnerability about Pete that I think is very compelling. So not just to women, but to... Yeah, in general. is very compelling. You know, his, so not, but not just,

not just to women, but to, to yeah. In general, I think an artist as a, yes, this is a generation of sad boys and Pete's a public sad boy. So it helps to have somebody of his prominence out there talking about

being sad. People relate to that. And also his struggles with mental illness. He's been so open about those i think that you know it's i think it's a lot of things and i think what you're saying about new york is super true but also what he got on snl now a lot of people get on snl and and you don't hear from them yeah um but pete got an snl and in part because i think of his relationships with women he became sure famous not just for what he did, was doing on SNL, but because he was he dated Ariana.

So all that contributed. Yeah. Yeah, it definitely helped out. That's for sure. Well, dating Ariana, I think, pushed him into like just like the stratosphere of fame. Right. Yeah, it must be a little bit weird from a comedian's perspective. And granted, I don't know how much he's performing or touring, but to be famous for

obviously he's on SNL, that's a certain level of fame. But then he gets elevated by Ariana and Kim Kardashian. So technically, some of their fans, a lot of their fans, are then going to come and see him live. So he basically has to perform for like 14 year old girls sometimes.

Is that what happened? I mean, is that what happened when he went on the road? I don't know. That's what I'm that's what I'm. Yeah, I wonder, you know, I don't know. But I think you're quite right as to where does he go from here? And the answer is Oprah. I believe you're correct.

Yeah. Or Michelle Obama. I was going to say Michelle Obama. And Barack like finds him in bed together that would be the best and then barack starts coming at him like kanye style barack was disheveled ripping cigs just furious barack is tweeting about pete um yeah that would take it to another level. But I mean, Kanye West wrote a song about him. Yeah.

Like, that's insane. Yeah, it kind of feels hard to comprehend what that must feel like, because it feels like such a ridiculous joke from the outside. But I'm assuming having that much attention on you and all that negative light and certainly fans of Kanye coming after you in probably pretty violent verbal ways. That's got to be real weird, but it is objectively funny from the outside. Social media bullying is obviously a thing and it's obviously

horrible. Kanye's so aggressive too. Especially when your fans, if Kanye's fans are coming at Pete as well, then it can become overwhelming. And I bet that's what's happening. I bet he gets. But I think I would imagine his fans know that he's like they got to even know that Kanye's out of line here. No, I mean, you know, everybody has some pretty intense fans. You know, it depends. And Kanye has a lot of fans.

So that means more of them are are probably mentally unwell people that are willing to do his bidding there's you know there's there's a lot of that i mean dave chappelle even got on stage at the cellar and was just like i told kanye to you know what and or somebody spoke to kanye about like chilling out or something and he was like there was nothing i could do. You know, he's going to stop when he's going to stop. So weird. Dude,

you have four kids at home. Like, I mean, he, he's when he goes home, he doesn't see any of those kids. He's on a ranch in Wyoming. He's like,

he's seen his kids like four times. He forgets their names. Oh, I hope not. Speaking of kids, I mean, it's as good a segue as I'm going to come up with. Sorry. Mike Cannon in his intro said that one of his most important roles is that of a father. Yeah, I got one kid, one three year old son. What's his name?

Crew. He was named after a 1986 BMX biking movie, Rad. that of a father yeah i got one kid one three-year-old son and what's his name crew he was named after a 1986 bmx biking movie rad okay there's a movie that not a whole lot of people saw no i bet not but the people that have seen it will remember that i like it forever like it is a communal thing if you like that movie it's a very tight-knit group of people it's like a cult thing yeah a little bit um and and you're a young guy now 37 i guess it's not that young but it seems young yeah but so you had the baby at 34 i mean and how long you've been married um that's a great question um 2016 i think so six years it'll be six years and i mean i asked the same question we had mike feeney on and he's like you know he's young a little bit younger than you but in that area and he's married 2016, I think so. Six years. It'll be six years. And I asked the same question we had Mike Feeney on. And he's, you know, he's young, a little bit younger than you,

but in that area and he's married. And we we asked him why did he you know, a lot of comics, I suppose they feel like, well, if they ever get famous, then they're going to there's going to be a festival of vagina. Sure. I've had my festival. And so you're saying you've already had your fest. It was a real fire fest. But yeah, I definitely you know saying you've already had your fest it was a real fire fest but uh yeah i i definitely you know i've i've had my fun and uh who knows if i get famous maybe my wife and i'll work out something open but in the meantime it uh it seems like she's the only person i would marry

i'm an anti-marriage guy deep down i think the institution itself is limiting and dog shit but um for the most part she is the only person that i would i would uh not for the most part, she is the only person that I would I would not for the most part for the all part. She's the only person that I would make that commitment for. Where'd you meet her? I met her on the blacktop where we lined up to get on the bus when we were 10 years old. Yeah, on the black side of our elementary school. Yeah, blacktop's a word that I haven't used probably since elementary school. Yeah, that's sort of like a kid word, isn't it? I think so. But it's also I mean, maybe if you had the you don't see many blacktop basketball courts

anymore. They're all made out of almost like the tennis court. But I would call it asphalt nowadays. But I remember as a kid, I remember using the term blacktop now. So either that was a term that's fallen out of fashion or it's a term that is mostly associated with like childhood. It might be. Yeah, I guess so. What is wrong with you? Who gives a shit? He's known his wife since he was 10. Hey, hey, hey, some of us are interested in words and the origin of language and the evolution of language.

OK, as we were talking about earlier. Yeah. And they find this interesting. And if you don't, that's fine. You can just sit back and you can just sit back and be quiet at this point in my life when i was 10 years old and i met my wife i believe i owned a pair of british knight blacktop sneakers weirdly enough because that was the name of the of the sneaker british knights blacktop did you as a child did you hear the term blacktop ever, Nicole? Yeah, definitely. And in adulthood, do you still use it? No, I haven't heard. So it might be a kid's term.

I don't know. Anyway, you met her on the blacktop. Sure did. She was wearing a Charlotte's Hornet starter jacket. This was in what part of the country? Rockland County, New York, right outside the city. So so you know her as a as a as a child yeah and then we then so i met her in fifth grade we quote unquote dated we were a couple you know in elementary school meaning we hugged and said hello to each other there was no real eye contact no nudity not yet and uh then sixth grade she

actually moved into the house next door to me. And we met each other for a long time. This is some Jane Austen shit. Yeah, I love this story so much. We've each dated other people. So it's not psychotic. When when was when did you first really start dating? So we I mean, our longest tenure that we dated, dated, you know, and in middle school, real day like we kissed in seventh grade and we dated for like eight months of the school year. And then we did it again in eighth grade, dated again in ninth and tenth. We had sex in tenth grade.

So I suppose that's when things got to be really bizarre to have sex with someone you knew as it would you say eight years old? I can still freshly remember her 15 year old vagina. Oh, my God. I'll be darned. But we're not going to get into that. I mean, it's my memory. Yeah. And you're entitled to it. Yeah, that's right. It's also my child dick. But but you're not entitled to be turned on by.

No, I didn't tell you. I didn't say if I was. And to and to jerk off to that memory, that would be now. I mean, anytime it passes in my head, I kick it out. That is not today but that is just but you met it with how old did you say eight ten and that is just really really i don't think i've ever heard of such a thing yeah to be married to somebody you knew we're lucky she's cool as shit man we really get along still we uh we have sex a lot still which is great and uh we we're good parents together we're a good team. We also part of why

we got along so well growing up. She's a really excellent basketball player and I was a good basketball player growing up. So her myself and my friend Timmy, we would we lived in like basically a three house triangle and we would hang out every single day and we would hoop hard and we beat the shit out of her on the basketball court and really made her work for it. And she was awesome in high school because of it. I'm going to take credit. Now, that's an interesting story. Do you bring that to the stage at all? There's got to be some jokes in there.

I mean, I've had like my first hour is a lot of like about how we met and stuff like that. And then it's since progressed. And I talk about the current stuff. But yeah, I mean, it's it's pretty wild. I'd imagine there's got to be some jokes in in in in the fact that you are married to a woman you knew and has a tenure that you dated in fifth grade. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I do have a new one. I watched the movie Titanic on mushrooms and it it reminded me that that was like my first date with my wife is going to see the movie Titanic in the movie theater. And that was 1997. I believe it was. Yeah. Yeah. That that's something that's why kate winslet means a lot to me so by yeah that recall was impressive to dan that you knew in 1997 i think well i could be wrong but

i think you're right i think i'm correct i'm good with dates yeah and also top gun maverick just unseated titanic as the seventh largest grossing domestic movie ever wow and i think i think deservedly so i thought it was a lot of fun it was awesome i mean that's how it was good you know the thing about titanic is i thought the story of titanic is such an incredible story anyway that you know once they start fictionalizing it it kind of seemed to be a little cheesy to me i mean i guess maverick is cheesy but you expect that but titanic is such an unbelievable story yeah i really like billy zane though man his performance in that movie like breathes life into me i wish i could be that rich pompous and just as big of a douche as he was it feels free it looks freeing

you know well he was a good character yeah yeah and he's not he's done he was not sympathetic not much since then either he had to do and he was he's like all right i've made my point yeah yeah one there was one particular um scene where if i had a gun i might have shot the screen where where the the preacher or whatever he is, he's saying, though, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death and DiCaprio says, hey, can you walk a little faster through that valley of the shadow of death? Remember that? Yeah, I do. And it's like, come on, man. You didn't like that. No, I was stupid. You thought he was disrespecting. I thought it was just ridiculous. I thought they probably paid

a guy one hundred grand like some some script doctor to punch that probably, you know, it was probably punched it up. They paid him. It's like, we need, we need some laughs in here. Yeah.

You know, there's not, there's no laughs in this thing. So they, they, they just seem ridiculous. And, and I mean,

I don't know. I thought it was silly, but again, there's a lot of silliness to that. Again, the Titanic story is such an incredible, yeah. Unbelievable story that it just it's almost like you can't outdo the actual story.

Yeah. You're trying to improve upon what's already like the greatest story ever. It's also weird that they spend about three hours forcing you to empathize with this woman in Rose. And then the last hour, or not the last last hour but the last bit kind of like makes her wholly unlikable like as her older self she is the worst version worst human being of all time she dies on the ship before she does so she throws a priceless

jewelry into the ocean her fucking daughter is on the ship with her she could have easily like enjoyed that financial windfall she dies on the ship next to pictures and also only her the pictures are didn't she have another husband yeah yeah so so she completely forgot about him precisely and then she met up with leo in heaven and met up with leo in heaven and the husband's in heaven like hey what the fuck yeah where's my where's my lady you know um yeah so i agree with Yeah. You know, also some of the lines that are real, like when Guggenheim says where that gets into a tuxedo to go down with the ship and says we're dressed, we're prepared to go down like gentlemen.

I knew that line anyway, because that's like a very famous line that somehow in the movie it didn't in my head. It was already like so much better. You know, it's just again, when they when you're trying to recreate something that's kind of mythic, it would be like having a scene where Lincoln is doing the Gettysburg Address, which I don't know that he did in the movie Lincoln. What did he do? No, I'm not sure. But it's like it's it's hard to it wouldn't outdo what's in my head of lincoln doing anyway you get the idea or maybe you don't get the idea because i didn't explain it well i thought it was beautifully put um so so but anyway maverick if maverick is indeed the number one grossing movie i say deservedly so that thing was so much fun was it was it art was it cinematic yes yes it was i mean in terms i don't know stunts by a 60 year old man has there ever been a more impressive thing i i was joking and i'm sure other people have this take but if there was a scientology booth

outside of my movie theater i would have i would have been yeah if it's good enough for it yeah if it's good enough for Tom. I mean, in Mission Impossible, he's leaping off the top of fucking skyscrapers, snapping his leg, and then coming back six months later to redo the stunt. The guy is out of his mind,

just hyper-focused, and I'm just completely on board with his issues. Can I voice an unpopular opinion here? I cannot stand Tom Cruise.

I can't even look at him. You are entitled to that opinion, but now you have to defend it. Briefly. I think that um i mean maybe to present the other side of what mike is suggesting i find him so just i i think he's like a psycho well yeah of course yes yes but in like but that's what i was just saying he's

what i know but not in and not in a sexy way i I mean, I think the whole Scientology thing... No one's asking you to be attracted to him. We're asking you to enjoy the action. No, I think he's... It's like I look at him and I think he's creepy. Like, I think he's, like, scary. Yeah. He has, like, no soul.

Well, I don't know if he has a soul or he doesn't. He does have a very steely focus. Like you can't tell if he's actually warm blooded. But I totally I totally understand that the, you know, Scientology in and of itself is, you know, they certainly got their blemishes. I won't get into it because my law team is not strong. But yeah, otherwise, I just like the movies he made. But but but but that movie is such a good time. So much fun.

I didn't see it. That's an American movie. That's the kind of movies we make in this country. Right. Nondescript enemy. Yes. Great. Yeah.

The enemy didn't know who it was. They had somehow a fucking desert and snow in the same country. Pretty cool. But. Yes. Yeah. somehow a fucking desert and snow in the same country pretty cool but yeah by the way I watched Boogie Nights again recently on Netflix I've only seen the last scene oh yeah

that one that's one of my favorites Boogie Nights I haven't seen that I'll watch it it's the best it's got the it's got my top that's one of my favorites. Boogie Nights. I haven't seen that. I'll watch it. It's the best. It's got the best. It's got my top three. I don't know which one is one,

two or three, but it's got a top three cocaine scene in a movie for me. And that's when they go to rob the dude with the open. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, you mean Alfa Molina? Yes.

And he's throwing the M eighties and he's got the little like boy kind of running. I mean, I don't mean to overanalyze it. I don't think they were M eighties. I think they were just firecrackers,analyze it. I don't think they were M-80s. I think they were just firecrackers. Firecrackers. I don't think they were M-80s, but that would be fair. I don't think anybody would light an M-80 in the house. Somebody on a massive amount of cocaine. Yeah, maybe he would.

But I will say, as somebody who has gotten past that part of my life, but has done a fair amount of cocaine, that one scene where just they settle in on Mark Wahlberg's eyes and hold it on his long ass stare for a solid 90 uninterrupted seconds that is the most accurate cocaine portrayal i've ever seen in film wow yeah well my experience with cocaine is far more

limited than yours so i can't speak to that directly but that was obviously a great scene and um the actor that played you know the guy that got shot that was obviously a great scene and um the actor that played you know the guy that got shot that was like no jane yeah that was an amazing awesome that was an absolutely insane performance yeah um and he's done i guess other things since he was in hung he did punisher which is also okay that's kind of an underrated good comic book movie john travolta speaking of scientology kind of comes in and shits the bed as the as the villain. But other than that, that movie is pretty damn good. Just to just to put a bow on this whole episode, Travolta.

Oh, and Olivia Newton-John. Oh, look at that. Yeah, Travolta. And by the way, I got nothing bad to say about Travolta. I really like that guy. I think he's he's a good dude. Of course, I don't know that for sure, but he did have some kind words to say about Olivia Newton, John, saying that he will. I didn't know there were such good friends, you know, since Greece, but apparently they are.

There were and said that I'll always be your your your your Danny and your your John or something like that. Danny being his character, of course, in the movie Grease will end there, I suppose. Once again, my biggest my huge mistake. Yeah, Mike Cannon's huge mistake out. That's August 17th, 9 p.m. It starts streaming on YouTube dot com slash Mike Cannon comedy. It will then be up and available forever. And my hour white privilege homeless that I released this past May is up there.

My special before that, my life begins is up there. Everything. I got a ton of stuff up on YouTube and we have a podcast on this very network called Here's a Scenario. And I know that you work with Nicole very closely. She's she directed and edited my cannons. Huge mistake. The special. She's an insanely talented filmmaker and is going to do huge.

Well, I've always said good things about Nicole. I call her the. Sultan of the soundboard. I think are some words to that effect. The diva of decibels.'s what i call it but but apparently sound is not her only game no also site video is also her thing as well uh as long as we're going to plug my book iris spiro before covet a novel is available on amazon and by the way if you have kindle there's

free chapters available as a free sample perriel's books on my knees as well as the only bush i trust is my own also available on amazon and also free samples i assume are available on kindle because that's what they do perriel we'll see you back in the United States when? In the beginning of September. Okay, so it'll be a few weeks. Anyway, stay safe in Israel. Thank you. Thank you, everybody, for coming.

And we'll see you next time on Live from the Table. Bye-bye. Stay safe, Perrielle. Bye-bye.