The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Music & Comedy

Episode Date: August 6, 2021

Isabel Hagen is a stand up comedian who’s been featured on the Tonight Show and the Just For Laughs festival, and a classical violist who went to Juilliard.

This is Live from the Table, the official podcast of New York's world-famous comedy cellar, coming at you on SiriusXM 99 Raw Dog and on the Laugh Button Podcast Network. Dan Aderman coming at you. We got Noam Dorman here, owner of the world-famous comedy seller. Periel Ashenbrand is with us. And we have Isabel Hagen will be joining us in a bit. She is a comic and a violist. But we'll talk with her later.

The big news this week is Dan Aderman's book is out. Woo-hoo! Iris Spiro Before COVID. COVID went live. Where are our cameras? Can we see them in monitor? Here, we can see them? This is Dan Aderman's book.

Go ahead. That's my book, Iris Spiro Before COVID. It's been out for about a week and a half. It's available on Amazon, either as a paperback or an e-book. And if you have a Kindle, you can get a free sample. You have nothing to lose, people, by downloading. I think they give you three chapters. Read the quotes on the back.

Well, the quotes on the back. Are impressive. You can read the quotes on the back. Read the quotes on the back. How annoyingly good is this book? The always funny Dan Natterman wrote a great novel full of surprises jim gaffigan for dan natterman to take a novel about a neurotic comedian and his fear of success is so out of his wheelhouse it's mind-blowing i'm kind of torn i think this book could sell millions of copies but the potential adverse

effects on dan may not be worth it how Howie Mandel. Dan brings his uniquely hilarious point of view to every page of this novel. I didn't want it to end. Ophira Eisenberg. Hey, why didn't you ask me for a quote? I know, why didn't you ask me for a quote? Well, it's not too late. I can always change it, but by the way, of those three quotes, I'm pretty sure Ophira's the only one

that actually read it, but I can't say, you know, as far as the other two are concerned uh they may or may not have i just don't know first of all jim gaffigan is a pretty devout catholic so you don't think he would lie i don't think and he because he he didn't he didn't word it in a with plausible deniability he said uh a great novel full of surprises as if he uh yeah that's true i mean a lot a lot of times when you read uh the blurbs on a book especially a blurb written a book written by a comic a lot of times it'll be like you know so and so is the funniest guy i know yeah like tom papa's book like the blurbs and

tom papa right it won't actually rent reference the book itself so i don't know uh aphira did tell me she read it and very much enjoyed it the other two just sent me the blurb and i really just don't know it looks like it's very big type with small words. I think she... I'm kidding. You think I'd be able to make it? Well, I actually redid the font. The font, I have a new font.

That's an old version. The new font... Yeah, I don't like this font at all. The new font looks a little bit more classically like a novel that you would normally see. So there's a new font. Anyway... What are these dashes? That's dialogue.

Right. Don't you put quotation marks? You don't have to. Let me see. First of all. I don't think I've ever seen dashes. Is that like a script? No, no, no.

That's a very common way of doing it. How come I've never seen that before? No, it's not a very common way of doing it. Yeah, it's a pretty common way of doing it. I've never seen that. Okay. I've read more than one book in my life

and I've never seen it done like this. Well, I have. You're okay. And, you know, you don't need to disparage the book. I'm not disparaging the book.

I'm not disparaging the book. You're a trendsetter. Nobody cares. Nobody's going to buy the book or not buy the book because of the way you do your hand-made quotes. As far as Howie Mandel's quote

about selling a million copies, we're a little far from the a million at this point. We're at about 80. Well, listen, famous people sometimes only sell 5,000, so 80 is pretty good. Well, 80 in a week and a half is okay. I don't know how many of those are people I know personally.

Probably about half. I'll be doing some marketing. You have to go on a book tour, or you have to go on like a sort of book tour or you have to bring it with you when you go do your shows. We're sending out an email this week. Can't you give me a little blurb, a little something to send in the email

and I'll take a graphic off Amazon and I'll promote your book on our tour. Okay, I'll send you. Oh, that's so nice. That's very nice. Well, you didn't let me finish. And take 25%! No, yeah, we can do that.

Okay, great. I'll send you that information. I'm also... I was on Jim Norton's podcast. I don't know, you know, how much mileage I got out of that. It's really hard to say because, you know, the sales coming in,

in dribs and drabs, and I don't know how much of it is attributable to my facebook posts or doing jim's show how do we get you on rogan we probably don't get me on road why don't say that you could probably get on road i mean ari you always undersell yourself ari shafir does rogan a lot i suppose i could talk to him but yeah i doubt very highly i just don't know rogan you know if rogan read the i don't know if rogan reads books but if he gave him a copy and he read it and he liked it that was right but let's face it people to read a book is a big deal i mean look how long it's taken you to read my book uh you know books and you're friends with perry

ellen you haven't i'm going to read your book the point is, it takes a long time to read. Or not at all. Or not at all. Even the people that are friends of mine that said, I can't wait to read it. I have trouble getting to emails. You know what? People make time for the things that they want to do. Absolutely. Gilbert, I'll bet you

could go on Gilbert's podcast. Great Big Colossal? Yeah. I mean bet you could go on Gilbert's podcast. Great Big Colossal? Yeah. Well, I mean, I could try. Yeah. He tends to have famous guests that are 80 years old and more. Does Howie Mandel have a podcast? Yeah, I'm doing his next week. He said, we don't have a date, but he said I could do it.

That's amazing. Let's get to the real heart of the matter, Dan, here. Okay. My colonoscopy? Oh, you had it? I had it. I want to hear about that, here. Okay. My colonoscopy? Is this, oh, did you have it? I had it. I want to hear about that, too. Okay.

Is this book good for a movie? I think it's good for a movie or a Netflix series, yeah. I mean, I wrote it half with that in mind, because that's the only way to make any money. Yeah, well, that's what I was getting at. Yeah. So you must have a master plan here. So you got to get it in your hands. You got to get it to Judd Apatow.

Judd, you listen to this podcast. Maybe your next star vehicle will be Dan Natterman's book. Well, he's certainly welcome to get a coffee at half off. A coffee at half off. I'm kidding. I'd be happy to send it to him.

No, I haven't. I'll contact him. I just wanted to make sure it's good first before I start sending it to people that might judge me. And you look very handsome in this picture, don't you? That's Lamar Garfinkle took that picture. I want to go on record here is that I've been saying for a while- Use your regular voice.

That Dan is, it's Philip Roth meets Jonathan Ames. I know who Philip Roth is. Who's the other person? Jonathan Ames. I know who Philip Roth is. Who's the other person? Jonathan Ames. He's a more current. Never heard of him. Well, that's... Is it like Banksy?

But Perrielle hasn't read it either. But I've read enough of it. That's your shortcoming that you haven't heard of Jonathan. Not mine. Mike, do you know who Jonathan Ames is? All right, I'm with the regular people. What is it? Okay, Dan, do you know who Jonathan Ames is? I right, I'm with the regular people. What is it? Okay, Dan, do you know who Jonathan Ames is?

I know who he is. Who is he? Oh, okay. He's an author. He wrote The Extra Man. That was turned into a novel. And was turned into a movie with Kevin Kline, I believe. It was like a small movie, but nonetheless.

And a television show With Ted Danson And Zach Galifianakis The good plays? No Okay So what else are you getting to? Oh see Now that it's a real thing

He moves on How was the colonoscopy? I'll tell you The doctor was very impressed With my colon I'm not gonna lie There were no polyps Thank God

Because I don't want to You have to go back In like three years right five years I had a small polyp what do they do not the last time

the time prior they stick a thing up your butt yeah they stick a thing I mean you're asleep for it they put you on propofol they can keep you awake

if you prefer periosteum I think I think they can actually I don't if you'd if you'd prefer but they and the doctor was also the doctor was also impressed if you'd prefer.

And the doctor was also impressed with my prep, so I don't mean to, again, I don't mean to brag, but he was very impressed that I had cleaned, because you have to clean yourself out down there. Like you have to wipe your butt? No, no, you have to take a special solution, which is disgusting and horrifying, and then you get diarrhea for like hours.

It's a horrific process. So the, and apparently that, the PrEP is really the key because there are a lot of people who actually get colon cancer and die in close proximity to their last colonoscopy

where they were given all clear. Yeah. And that's attributed mostly, as I've heard, to bad prep. The doctor just can't see all that shit down there. Ew! Well, doesn't the doctor tell you,

look, you didn't do a good job, we gotta redo this? Yeah, I would think you're right, that there's something, I mean, I heard this from a doctor, so they didn't concentrate on the fact that that's no excuse. The doctor should say, you know what, it's not cleaning up,

you're gonna have to come back another day. But sometimes they don't do that. How come I don't have to do a colonoscopy? Well, you do. At 50, they recommend it. You don't have, nobody has to do it, but at 50, they recommend it. Now, you're not 50, so.

No, I'm not. So they don't. Not yet. Unless you have family history, in which case you should do it more frequently. I do wonder whether they can find residue of bodily fluid in there i mean like semen like semen did they find any for you not after the prep not unless you deposited there

after the prep well you never know just one before you go a little you know a little send off i mean you're actually you're actually right because if it if listen i i'm not did they find that for either one of you guys? I'm not gay and there's nothing wrong with it. And I don't want to have anal sex with a man. But if I were, I would want to do it after he prepped. Yes, that's the best time to do it. That would be the time to do it.

A lot of gay guys do use enemas before they have sex. How do you know this? Because I have a lot of gay guy friends, and we talk about sex. Dov and I were joking that if they could find that, then afterwards you get the bill. It's like, okay, that's $10,000 for the colonoscopy, and $200,000 not to tell your wife what you've been doing. So the good news is I'm not going to do that on stage.

I do have a couple of colonoscopy jokes, though, that I did come up with that I'll test out tonight. So I know that colonoscopy is kind of a well-worn topic in stand-up, but there's always room to do it. There's always room to do it better, hopefully. Why aren't you going to do that one on stage?

That was funny. Well, I might, I might. I just think semen, whenever we get into bodily fluids, and that's an extra layer of dirty. There's like dirty, and then there's bodily fluid. Right, that's my area. I might. I just think semen, whenever we get into bodily fluids, that's an extra layer of dirty. There's dirty and then there's bodily fluids. Right. That's my area.

You know what I mean? And then you can't make fun of anything gay anymore. And also, yeah, it's gay. So, you know. You can only punch. It then becomes problematic. Punch up. Don't you know punch up?

I've abandoned my, I mean, speaking of jokes you can't do, I've abandoned my joke about George Washington saying, I abandoned it. I tried it one more time. I think you were even in the room, and it was like, I got nothing. I said, okay, that's it. I'm not doing it again. Yeah, he talked about it. You want to tell the joke?

I'll tell the joke. I've talked about it before, but just if you haven't listened, I had a joke about how you go back in time and you say to George Washington, hey, George Washington, I'm from the future. And believe it or not, by 2050, white people will be a minority of the US population. And Washington would be like, really, we're going to have that many slaves and white people? And so anyway. And it has killed, but it's also just got nothing

and it's not worth the 50% of the time it's got nothing. Well, I mean, it's a really interesting subject because the joke is obviously not anti-black or pro-slavery or anything like that. It's making fun of the fact that George Washington wouldn't be able to conceive of something so different from what he knew. But the subject has become so risky that nobody even knows what they can or can't laugh at anymore. Very few people have confidence in their own take on things, and so they just seize up, right? That's what happens.

It's not just that they don't laugh, but there's the occasional almost an audible gasp, and so I said, it's just not worth it for the times that it does get laughs. I can't take the risk, you know?

I mean, maybe if I were a famous comic and into controversy, I don't know, but I'm, you know, I just, not worth it to me, so fuck it. Maybe people would say, you know, there's something to this, that we're just too casual with the concept of slavery.

In other words, you wouldn't joke about Jews being in the concentration camps or burning. Maybe you would. Burning the ovens. But when you do, you realize that you're joking about something horrible. But we sort of just talk about slavery sometimes without fully thinking about what we're talking about. We're talking about. Like how, how, you know, we're talking about something so awful.

Yeah. I mean, I guess, I guess. And, and, um, you know,

I, I'm willing to follow the audience's lead. If they're not into the joke, then I won't do it. I mean, I'm not, I, you know,

I mean, my, my, I don't think I'm saying anything wrong, but if it's going to upset people, then obviously I'm not in the business of upsetting people, you know, I'm not, so I'll just not, not do the joke, but what I'm saying anything wrong, but if it's going to upset people, then obviously I'm not in the business of upsetting people. So I'll just not do the joke. What I'm saying is... I know what you're saying. Even if you said something about

the Holocaust that wasn't directly defending it, just bringing it up. And if you're not Jewish, and I'm not black, then it might be... And now, Jim Norton told... I don't want to tell Jim Norton's joke, so I guess... It's a damn good joke by the way about the Olympics

but he references Germany he doesn't say the Holocaust but he references Germany and it's very funny well isn't that movie funny thing on the way to the forum

is that the movie and there's slaves in that movie they depict slaves and they're like comical well that might be was there a mustel or whatever it is

you know whatever go ahead I mean that was a different time there was also Blazing Saddles which you know

Slaves and Blazing Saddles no there weren't but they like they use the n-word a lot and they talk about rape you know

and it's a comedy and I don't know if you remember that scene yeah yeah I do I have a really I know this is gonna come as a great shock

to you but I have a really funny I'm already shocked I have a really, I know this is going to come as a great shock to you, but I have a really funny. I'm already shocked. I have a really funny and smart joke about rape. And I noticed that every single time I say the word rape on stage, the audience sort of seizes up. And Lenny Marcus told me that I should try changing it to sexual assault in the same. Well, if it works, that would be a little better. What's the joke?

No, I'm not going to tell it on here. Why not? Because I don't want to. Because I don't want you to tell me it's not funny. Come to a show and you can see it. I guess I'll never know. But it really did make a difference. I think that when

I said sexual assault and it was like, people didn't get so freaked out and they were able to actually. Yeah. Well, you know, I know I'm going to get in trouble for saying this, but you, but you have a little bit of that thing that some,

not all, not all, but some female comics have. Here we go. Not in a while. You know what? Forget it. No, no, no.

No, no. Go ahead. You have some of that thing that some people have, not even female comics, where you lean into the vulgarity of the thing. And what Lenny was saying is that's not what's actually funny about the joke. So you don't need to do that. Okay. So number one, you have an aversion to vulgarity to begin with.

You don't like things that are vulgar. Yeah, I don't. The word vulgar has a pejorative meaning to be. You're not supposed to like things that are vulgar, but go ahead. Well, I mean. You don't like things that are obscene. Yeah, I don't like. I don't like people You don't like dirty.

I don't like people talking about taking shits, and I especially don't like, I can't help it, I'm a sexist. What do you want, Mike? I don't like to see pretty girls talking about their shit. I don't like it. Right, but-

And you know what? I represent 99% of people in the world when I say that, even though they won't admit it. Nobody likes to hear that. No, no, no, that's not- I. Nobody likes to hear that. No, no, that's not. I don't want to hear Mary Tyler Moore, you know, saying I just had diarrhea on the Mary Tyler Moore show.

But it's okay. It's okay to have, you know, like, I don't know, Bobby Kelly talk about it. That doesn't bother you at all. I wouldn't, no, I don't like it when Bobby Kelly talks about it, but. But you're more accepting of it.

It goes down easier, yeah, because he's a gross dude, you know. Here's the thing. I don't think that. Right, Dan? You agree with me? Well, I'll say this. I don't mind necessarily when an attractive woman talks about shitting. It's just it's going to make her less attractive to me, but it might still make me laugh.

It's not necessarily. Go ahead. I've got news for you guys. I don't think that we're trying to make you be attracted to me, but it might still make me laugh. I've got news for you guys. I don't think that we're trying to make you be attracted to us when we're talking about that. That's fine. I'm just saying what my reaction is. But the point is that I don't think that's why. I don't think

that it's about leaning into the vulgarity of it. Well, you won't tell us the joke, so we can't joke. So Perrielle did have a funny routine about having to do a proctological exam during COVID and she had to put her ass up against the- How do you know that, Joe? We saw it.

We saw it. I watched one of your shows one time. Yeah, we watched this. I'm Not Okay. What's the name of your show? Oh, We're Not Okay. We're Not Okay. Yeah, no, that was Jessica and Rachel's, but yeah.

You did it on that. Yeah, yeah, but I do it in real life. It's funnier in real life. That's actually life that's actually that's funny like thank god that happened to you but that doesn't

gross you out she's talking about spreading her butt in front of a camera on zoom no it doesn't gross me out the same way I have to say

it doesn't because because it's and there was there was like a a hemorrhoid in there too I think yeah well that's right if she started describing

the hemorrhoid I wouldn't like that but the fact is that she was, she's describing a real life incident and actually she's a little bit shy about it because it actually happened to her. So that the combination of a little bit of shyness in the delivery and the fact that it's real,

it's not like just a contrived reason to talk about disgusting things. Like it's not for shock value. Right. It's actually real. a contrived reason to talk about discussing things. Like it's not, it's not for shock value. Right. It's actually real. I totally agree with that. When you say you don't like vulgarity,

you don't like just, or obscenity coming from women or, or, or men, you don't love it either. I don't, I don't love it either, but that's not vulgar.

That actually, that's like real thing. Well, it's, it's whatever it is. Rape thing's a real thing too. I mean, people,

shitting's a real thing too. I mean, you know, all these things are real. But what about Norton's act? I haven't seen his latest stroke of genius act. I'm hearing that it's the greatest thing ever. Well, he talks about his love of trans women, and it's just so refreshing because you just don't,

that's a perspective you just never, I've literally never heard from any comic ever in the history of comedy, so for that reason, it's good. He's also a brilliant comic. Yeah, he's a great comic, but in addition to that, you're hearing something, you know, you're hearing something you just literally have never heard

before, and in honesty, that's quite refreshing, so, you know. I'm so glad that's why I, you know, I enjoy it. Like, because I don't watch comedy much anymore, but I have, you know, run down to see Jim. Now I might get tired of it, but the past couple of times I very much enjoyed hearing him,

you know, it was particularly that topic. But. Where is our violist? She's coming soon. Are you that bored of talking to us? You have six more minutes of just us. You think you can handle it? Well, let's talk about... What about the Olympics with

Simone Biles? Oh. I don't know anything about that. Oh my god, go please. Well, Simone Biles, she's a gymnast. She's 21, which is pretty old for a female gymnast. I'm shocked she's still doing it, but I mean, that's like the equivalent of an 80-year-old comedian. Dan, yeah, female gymnast it but um i mean that's like you know the equivalent of a of a an 80 year old comedian

dan uh um yeah i female um gymnast age and decay and performance is a social construct go ahead but it has nothing to do with that she she's considered one of the greatest ever if not the greatest ever and she dropped out of the olympics she said she's having i don't know precisely a lot of pressure mentally she got to say i gotta take she said i gotta concentrate on my mental health so i'm dropping out and a lot of people said oh you're a quit and i don't know a lot people on twitter say a lot of things so some people are saying oh you know she's a quitter she you know she she uh she turned her back on her country she's supposed to be there representing us and now she's saying you know i quit um and again i don't know how many people really think that it's supposed to be there representing us, and now she's saying, you know, I quit. And again, I don't know how many people really think that.

It's hard to believe it's that huge a number that are that ridiculous, but some people are saying that. And obviously, and of course, people are defending Simone Biles, and many are praising her for shining a spotlight on depression and whatever mental issue. Is she depressed? I don't know what mental issue she has specifically, but bravo to her, people are saying, and I would agree, for acknowledging that there's nothing shameful about having psychological issues, and if you

have to drop out, you have to drop out. So is that a reasonable summary of the kind of violence? Yeah, it is, but I think that also... Didn't she also have some physical problems? Yeah, I think so. But that's not what people seem to be concentrating on. People are forgiving of injury, but when you say it's too

much pressure, I'm too anxious, or whatever it is, then people tend to be less forgiving about it. You're not going to like this at all, but it's also because she's a young, black woman. Why don't I like that? Well, because you always say that I make everything about... Oh, you say that people are being hard on her because she's a black woman. Why don't I like that? Well, because you always say that I make everything about like...

Oh, you say that people are being hard on her because she's a black woman? Yes, and girls and... There's our guest. Could be, could be. It is... Simone Biles doesn't own... It doesn't owe anybody shit. I mean, it's outrageous that people have the audacity to even mutter a fucking word.

Yeah, I agree. It's her decision, whatever. I mean, I don't care if she quit because she just felt like quitting. I don't care why she quit. I mean, this girl has broken literally every single Olympic record as a female gymnast, I think in like the history of gymnastics.

No, no, listen. You would have to presume that winning a gold medal in the Olympics is a lifelong dream of someone who goes, I think she's already done that into that, but, but all right,

but still, this is, this, this is, this is the Madison square garden. This is it. Right. So you got to,

hi. So you have to presume that if she, um, if she didn't want to follow through with that, you have to presume that she had a reason which was compelling in some way. It wasn't like... But having said that,

if she did back out, you have to presume it's a reason that's not casual. But even if it were casual, it's her decision. No, but if it is casual, no, I would say no because there's, there's tremendous amount of resources and time and you take up a spot on a

team that would have been filled by someone else. Okay. Okay. And, and people depend on you and people, your team depends on you for team medals. There's, you don't,

you don't take a spot on the Olympic team. Okay. All right. I changed my mind. Well, I don't know. That's not, but I, but I, but I totally don't think I changed my mind. No, that's not. But I totally don't think

I would say that. Why would anybody do that? Nobody would do that. Anyway, Isabel Hagen, ladies and gentlemen, is with us. She is a, hello, Isabel.

It's been a long time. I saw you actually a couple weeks ago here. Yeah, we've sort of been floating around each other. Isabel Hagen is not just, she's a comedian. I've never,

I think I did see you once a couple years ago at the skank fest or some Brooklyn thing with skanks there was a skank related it was a skank related event out in Brooklyn and I recall being impressed by Isabel's act but it was a couple years ago

I'm sure it's better now but in any case she's also a well I don't recall exactly precisely but some people get worse let's not deny it some people have gotten worse many people do people get worse there's an arc yeah but not young people like isabel at her age she's still going up you could at 40 you might start to decline if you just say fuck it and you give up i saw him i saw young paul mccartney when he was with the Beatles, but I'm sure he's even better now. Music and comedy are

different in that regard. Anyway, Isabel knows both worlds because not only is she a comedian, she is a concert violist. I am, yes. I rarely hear it put that way. A concert violist. Well, are you not a concert violist? No, I guess I am. I play concerts and I'm concert violist. Well, are you not a concert violist? No, I guess I am.

I play concerts and I'm a violist. Are you in an orchestra? I'm not in a regular orchestra. I'm a violist for hire. So I sub in like when the Lion King is happening, I sub in the Lion King. I get hired out for different tours with different artists and things. The thing about the viola does not match stand-up comedy at all.

Because a person who wants to be a star, they want to be first violin. The first violin, that is the ego spot. The violist is a supporting player. How did you get into viola? That's not the personality type

of a star. Right. Well, yeah, I've thought about it. I started violin when I was five, and then I switched to viola when I was 10, but not because I didn't want to be a star, just because I had a crush on a guy who played the viola, and I wanted to be just like him. And actually, because not a lot of people my age played the viola,

I was suddenly in high demand. So I think in a way I was kind of a star as a violist. There you go. It makes sense. But I liked being a team player. But then, yeah, comedy, it's a whole different thing, I was suddenly in high demand. So I think in a way I was kind of a star as a violist. There you go. It makes sense. But I liked being a team player. But then, yeah, comedy, it's a whole different thing. I guess I decided I wanted to be up front. For the idiots and the ignorant among us, what is the difference between a viola and a violin, precisely? I guess we'll hear the difference when you play it. Yeah, maybe. The viola is a little little bigger but you still play it just like a violin

it's lower is it lower yeah it's in between a dg is a violin and an adgc is a viola right yes and you play the mandolin right you say it's the same and so the cello so you'd go via the mandola you don't play them okay i do you do you have your mandola uh not with me but i have a gibson mandola and do it did you know that there's a there's? Not with me, but I have a Gibson mandola. Mandola. Did you know that there's a mandolin equivalent to every, there's a mandola, a mandocello, and a mando bass, and there's whole mandolin orchestras that play all the instruments of the... So you would say it's the violins are the highest, then you got viola, then the cello, and then the bass.

The viola is the middle child. Okay. the highest, then you got viola, then the cello, and then the bass. The viola's the middle child. But I would wonder about a mando bass because the double strings, but it's so big. I think it's single string. Okay. That's a good question. At what point does it just become a bass? Steel strings, like the... It's like piano strings, kind of.

Right. I don't know. We can look it up. Go ahead. I have no idea what you guys are talking about That's usually on any subject So do we want to hear So before we get to Because I think you're going to play a little bit for us Oh yeah I'll play

So this is what a mando bass looks like Well anyway let's not go too Why does he have to always go so deep Into the weeds of it Do you stand up and play it? No I it? Do you stand up and play it? No, I don't think you stand up and play it. You pick it, I think. So if you could be a star in the world of classical music

or in the world of comedy, and you can only be a star in one of those worlds. Oh, no. I'm sorry. This is the mandolin. Look at that. I'm sorry. Look at this.

Look at this. That is a huge instrument. That looks like a balalaika. Look at it. It's a huge A-style mandolin. It's a Komodo violin. Play it sideways. And there's a woman playing it.

Go ahead. You could be a world-famous classical violist, assuming there is such a thing. There are. There are a few. Okay. Or you could be a world-famous comic, and you can only pick one because... Comic. You a few. Okay. Or you could be a world-famous comic, and you can only pick one because... Comic.

You pick comic. Okay. Comic is your... So you say comedy is a love, is your first love, or has become your first love. Your first love was Viola, but comedy came along and stole you away. It did, yeah. Viola is like that long marriage you have, and it's love-hate. It's not exciting anymore.

It's not... No, no. And comedy is like mistress have you heard of the uh violist evan wilson no oh okay did you make that up no i went i went to summer camp with evan wilson but then he became a very important violist he i think was first violist for the los angeles one quick question yeah before we get to the viola performance. Why is it that there's such a thing as a world-famous violinist who doesn't write music but is only world-famous because they play violin. There's people that are only world-famous because they play piano,

even though they don't write anything or they don't have any hits, quote-unquote. But there's no world-f famous guitarist that's only world famous because they play guitar of course there is classical guitar players I mean other than Django Reinhardt there's tons of them Wes Montgomery

but that's not associated with a group that has hit songs I think it's probably just because there's so many famous guitar players who are like pop guitarists that they distract from the classical where there's like no pop, like violists. So the only ones we look at are the ones who are like playing other people's music.

Is Yasha Haifetz and that crowd so far, and it's a yo-yo mino, you don't play those instruments, but it's in the same family. Are those guys just that good or it is a lot of marketing and PR and bullshit like it is in every other field? They are that good. There are probably other people who are that good who don't have attention. The great Jewish classical musicians,

especially the Russian ones, that's it. That's the gold standard. Oh my God. Am I lying? I don't know. Heifetz and Horowitz on the piano, Rubenstein, Itzhak Perlman, all of them.

You play the guitar, don't you? I don't want to say anything about Dan's question. Just to be clear, in classical music, you don't, you play the notes on the page. So you become famous as a virtuoso interpreter of classical music.

These other guitars, like Django Reinhardt, they may not write songs, but it's jazz, so they're still creative. They're still writing. They're improvising. So the analog to what you're describing with her would be like Andrei Segovia or Julian Bremer, one of these famous classical guitarists.

But there are many famous classical guitarists, right? Yeah, I couldn't tell you any of their names. But the average person, when you say great guitarist, the average person is going to say Eddie Van Halen. They're going to say Those are rock stars. Because those are the famous ones, I guess.

Do you play the guitar? Don't you play the guitar? Yes, I do. So why did you say you play the mandolin because he plays a mandolin too well she i mean do you see like you just met me do you see what i go through is that the dumbest question you've no it's not the dumbest question you said she said i play the viola and you said i play the mandolin like i'm assuming that if you play an instrument like you're you have everybody has like their instrument. Well,

some people play more than one instrument. Like, uh, your thing is the viola. I play the viola. I could also play the violin. I don't really play the violin, but I could,

cause it's so similar. And she probably plays some piano. But I know I actually am very bad at piano, but most people also play. She doesn't play piano. I'm hilariously inept. Most musicians play piano. But I'm the exception. Yeah. Most string players also can play a little piano. I can play piano. I'm hilariously inept. Most musicians play piano. But I'm the exception, yeah.

Most string players also can play a little piano. I can play piano. So, no, why don't we hear a little bit of Isabel on the viola? I should have brought my guitar. Don't you have a guitar? We'd have to plug it in. I don't think we have any legit acoustics here. I don't have the combination.

Do you know how to get in there? Yeah, I do. Open it for me and then she can take her viola out. And Dan will have to talk. Everybody's got an assignment. It was not a dumb question. By the way, Isabel.

How can I play the mandolin and play the guitar? It wasn't how can you play the mandolin. That wasn't what I said. We don't pay our guests, but we do give you the gift of literature. I've written a book.

If you would like a free copy, there's one right over there. I can give you one. I am going to tell you something amazing about this. We're on YouTube, right? It looks just like a violin. It's a little bit bigger. She has a bow there. Show them your bow.

You know, Dan, that doesn't look like a high-tech piece of anything, right? No. Some bows can cost tens of thousands of dollars. Am I right? Yeah. Tens of thousands of dollars for a bow. My bow is not that expensive, but they can be. I have actually a hilariously cheap bow. A lot of my fellow musicians laugh when I tell them how cheap it is.

How cheap is it? It's like 400 bucks. But even 400 bucks. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't sound that cheap. Now, what's the difference with the very expensive one? What is that made out of? Wood and horsehair. But I mean, like, it's like, it's cheaply made.

There's like, a lot of bow makers are like, that's their specialty. They just make the bow. So it's like this very intense craftsmanship. I think this is probably like, I don't know who made this bow. Some, maybe it's like this very intense craftsmanship i think this is probably like i don't know who made this bow some maybe it's like factory made it's like all crooked does it sound different when you arguably i i've been using this since i was 15 and it's been fine and i'm just comfortable with it you have harry potter and the wands yeah yeah someone someone referred to the bow as the wand recently on another podcast, and I thought that was hilarious. Anyway, here's Isabelle in her Walmart bow.

Am I playing into this microphone? I don't know. How do we do this? No, I'm getting his. I think just play, and it should. Oh, he's getting his guitar. Yeah, but you can put, before he gets here, if you want. All right, tell me how this sounds.

All right, go ahead. Sounds good already. You're tuning, right? No, this is an original piece. That's a Korean song called Tuning. I can play you some Bach. Give me your A string. Okay.

You're like, all right, that's enough viola. So is there a song where the viola is, or a piece where the viola is the front and center? Never. It's never front and center?

What I was going to play was one of the Bach cello suites, which violas steal and play. Oh, okay. Go ahead and play it. This is Bach. Wait, Will... No, what's his name?

Wilhelm... Johann... Johann Sebastian Bach. Johann Sebastian Bach, the courant, or part of it. I don't know how long you want me to play

from the first cello suite. Okay, for the first cello suite. Here on Rado. Yay! That was amazing. Imagine with a good bowl how that would have sounded. I wouldn't rise in it either. How do you play this? Oh, yeah.

That smoke on the water? I got it. See, that's the thing about a viola. If it was like a violin, she could play like, you know, Tardos or something like, one of these, like, or, you know, like...

Can you play it? Can you play it? Yeah. Can you play it? Hold on, hold on. I can fake it. This is an electric guitar, but it makes a little noise.

Okay. Let me just... Okay. This is an electric guitar, but it makes a little noise. One, two, three, four. I don't know this at all. I'm making it up. Yeah, I can't do any more. You dig it. What is this that you're playing? Exactly.

It's a famous, very famous violin solo. But every instrument kind of plays it. What about Ode to Joy? Can you do some Ode to Joy? For sure. Play some Ode to Joy? Can you do some Ode to Joy? Oh, sure. Play some Ode to Joy if you wouldn't mind. This is Beethoven's Ode to Joy. Amazing. What was that?

That's it. Go ahead. Give her another one, Dan. Well, I don't know much classical music, but... That's it. That's what I'm saying. It looks jumpscare-y. There's a great video on YouTube. It's a flash mob kind of Ode to Joy.

Have you seen that? No. They're just on some street. I guess it's in Vienna or somewhere. It's like one guy playing like a lone violinist. And then everybody else comes out and it's like bassoons come out. And like somebody rolls out a timpani and starts. And then there's a whole chorus comes out and goes, you know, whatever.

The schlieb and lag and he, whatever that shit is. This is how disrespected the viola is. Like in Peter and the Wolf, there's no viola. There's no character for the viola, right? Really? You're right. Yeah, I've played Peter and the Wolf, but we don't. We're just the strings are Peter.

Peter, yeah. Yeah. I mean, subbing in for the Lion King seems like a pretty huge deal. So is that your day job, as it were? Kind of. Is music. Yeah, it's how I make most of my money. It's how you make most of your money.

Yeah. Are you making money in stand-up these days? I'm just starting to. I mean, I'm in a weird spot where I, like, the day before the shutdown, I did the Tonight Show and was about to, you know, try to... Oh, with Fallon? Yeah, do more gigs.

And then, you know, I did it on March 11th, 2020. So it was like the last show with a live audience. I like telling people I went to Juilliard because they act impressed. And then I act modest. And I love that. They're like, whoa, Juilliard. I'm like, eh, it's nothing.

They're like, wow, humble and talented. I'm like, yes. I am perfect. It's annoying when sometimes someone hasn't heard of Juilliard. Because then I just have to politely explain to them that it's a big deal. They're like, oh, what's Juilliard? I'm like, oh, it's just, you know, one of the best music schools.

They're like, oh, music? My niece plays violin. I'm like, yeah, she wouldn't get in. And then that was my last performance for months. I tried to get on, I tried to get on Fallon, but the guy that books it, was it Michael Cox or something? He said, I gotta send him in. Did he do this to you? I don't know. Maybe it's just me. He said, I gotta send him the very

five minutes, the exact five minutes that I want to do him in. Did he do this to you? I don't know. Maybe it's just me. He said, I got to send him the very five minutes, the exact five minutes that I want to do on this show. No more, no less. Just send me a DVD or a video file of the five minutes precisely that you're going to do on this show. And I'm like, you know, I know. What do you mean, no? I'll tell you why I know.

Because I don't want to send you the exact. What if you don't like one of the jokes and I got to send another tape? How about I send you seven or eight minutes and you pick the stuff that you think is best for the Tonight Show? It just took me to send you five minutes. If you don't like one joke, that means I got to send you another tape, which tells me you probably don't want me on the show anyway. You're just trying to make it difficult.

How would you extrapolate that from that? Because nobody else does it that way and it doesn't make logical sense to do it that way. Isabel, I know he's probably a friend of yours because he used you but but did you have to submit the exact five minutes that you were going to do just go on record saying i love michael cox and you don't have to say anything bad about michael cox um i i don't know what i did you know i did an audition showcase for the show so i did the five minutes on a showcase and they approved that five minutes. And that was that. So it's pretty much the same thing.

So it was like a tape, but live. But did you do only five minutes? Yes. Okay, okay, okay. So he does that with everybody. But he did... It wasn't just that. He did ask me to change one thing,

but I didn't have to send a new tape. That's normal. That's normal. But in other words, my feeling was this. If I got to send in the five minutes and you don't like one or two my feeling was this. If I got to send in the five minutes and you don't like one or two of the jokes, that means I got to send in another five minutes.

And it seems like it's just annoying. Or maybe they would like your five minutes and you'd be a household name. No, because you don't become a household name from Fallon. Why don't you just send in five minutes? Clearly. Because I just got the sense that they weren't going to use me anyway. Mental gymnastics. No, no, no. I think, it's not like... Because I just got the sense that they weren't going to use me anyway.

God, mental gymnastics. No, no, no. I think it's valid. This is why you have no love life. It's like, she's not going to date me anyway. Just ask her out. Just send in the five minutes. It's probably fucking brilliant.

I'd rather just send in seven minutes to another talk show, and they can say, here are the five minutes we like. My feeling was, is that he didn't really want to use me. I know the, because I know people that have done it. He, you know, and, and he, I don't know anybody that's just sent in a tape to Michael Cox that Michael didn't even know from a hole in the wall and got booked. The people that I know that got booked, got booked because Michael liked them or he saw him somewhere.

Well, maybe he liked you. Maybe he saw you somewhere. He didn't because when my manager called him up, he's like, oh, I don't really know him, but I haven't sent five minutes. Sent five minutes. Sounds like you would have gotten booked. No, I don't think so. Why bother even trying?

I have a question for Isabel. I can do other shows that are maybe not as high profile as Fallon, but close enough. And so I just do those. It is amazing how the Tonight Show went from being really the Mount Everest of show business kind of to just a generic another talk show, no better or worse than a million others, right? It is a sad decline.

Well, look, nothing. I mean, the past, you know, is in the past. And the whole world's been upended by, I mean, you can go on Rover. All right, not sad, but stark. Nobody saw that coming. No, nobody saw it. Nobody saw it. You know, Instagram stars coming either, or YouTube stars.

But did you get anything, Isabel, from The Tonight Show in particular? I mean, it must have raised your profile somewhat anyway. I got, you know, I got a few new followers and then COVID. So nothing. But then, you know, now I'm like working the road, headlining a little bit. Oh, you're headlining. A little bit. So I think that, I think having the name, it's like, you know, it's the same thing like

going to Juilliard. It's sort of having like a good housekeeping seal of approval. It doesn't actually, you know, who actually saw the set. But people are like, oh, well, it's something. We can put that on the- Are you mostly opening or are you most, now you're mostly opening for people? I assume you've only been doing this, what, five years or so?

Six years. Look, I can tell you, not until after 10 years was I exclusively headlining and maybe even a little bit beyond that. So I would assume that you're mostly opening, but I could be wrong. It's not that I'm not exclusively headlining and maybe even a little bit beyond that. So I would assume that you're mostly opening, but I could be wrong. It's not that I'm not. I'm not exclusively headlining, but I'm just waiting for that person to have me open for them.

So until then, if I get a headlining gig, I'll do that myself. But it's not like I'm above opening for sure. I definitely would love to open. Do you have any Henny Youngman or Jack like integration of your viola into the act? You do? I do. I do. Did you do that on Tonight Show?

No, I only, I do it not that often. I only do it like for like the last few minutes if I'm headlining or something as kind of a little encore because I'm very nervous about them becoming too connected with each other. Like when I started out, I wanted to keep them very separate. I wanted to know I could just do comedy. This is typical of comedians, but I just want to

let you know the comedy seller is different than the other comedy clubs because we're not highbrow and we like gimmicks. Gimmicks is the wrong word. We don't actually consider them to be gimmicks. If you can do something like that that other people can't do, don't let them brow beat you into keeping out of your act.

You can do it. It's funny. You think the audience says, oh, that was just too entertaining. It was too interesting and unusual and something I'd never seen before. I really wish she'd just tell some boring white person clever lines. What I think she's getting at is that she doesn't want to be... I wish we could just have some nice

misdirect. Cut this entertainment. I want wry observations. What I think she's getting at, Noam, is she doesn't want to be in a position where she shows up without the viola and they're like, where the fuck's the viola? Exactly. Why don't you get in a position where they want you to show up, alright? Like this show.

This is very rare. Normally I would have said I'm definitely not bringing my viola, but Can you play the violin solo from Dust in the Wind? I don't know it. Can she play that by ear? I thought you might know that. Don't you guys get it? She's saying she doesn't

want to play the viola. She just wants to talk about She definitely could play Pachelbel's Canon. Well, that's a great one. Do you want to do some Pachelbel's Canon? I don't even know.

What key is it in? But like there's Okay. Go ahead. We'll do some Pachelbel and then we don't even know what key is it in. But like there's Okay. Go ahead. We'll do some Pachelbel and then we'll continue with my interrogation. Right like that?

Okay. Two, three, four. © transcript Emily Beynon ¶¶ I'll join on whistling. That's amazing. Well, there's a reason. I realized we were available for private parties, for weddings. There's a reason that song's been a hit for 200 years. You know what? I couldn't figure out why your name sounded so familiar, and then

I just figured it out. Hagen does. You ran that set at my show at West Side. Yes, I did right before COVID. You have a show at another comedy club? So the question then... Right? Yes. Yes, thank you for having me on.

Of course, of course. That was for Fallon, right? Yes. That's right. The question is, do you think you're ready to audition for The Cellar? And weird. You don't want to just ask people. Basically, Noam will just go online and look you up. No, I want you to send me the exact five minutes of the comic book. Obviously. Yeah, I mean, but you've got to bring your Viola. I refuse.

The thing is, I think what she's trying to avoid is some comics, if they don't have their, whatever it is, you know, people don't want them on the stage. And so she doesn't want to be beholden to the viola. Yeah, basically, I got tired of lugging the thing around. And so I started stand up so I didn't have to bring it. So now I have to bring it again. And I'm like, well, this is the reason I. Well, thank you for bringing it.

I'm kidding. They were hawking me. And no one will take any opportunity to talk about music instead of comedy. Well, that mandolin viola thing was pretty good we did, right? That was great. That was great content. It was great. I can't wait to put a clip of that. The Comedy Cellar is actually, really does, I think, I wouldn't say, no, I would say unique

among all the clubs in New York. I mean, I don't, look, I don't know what all the clubs do, but in actively seeking out new people, I don't know that the other clubs are actively seeking out anybody. I think they're just hanging out, and if you beg enough and you hang out enough, they might let you

audition or send a tape. Why is that? That's ridiculous. If it ain't broke, you know? Well, it is broke because... You guys really are interested in the artists. No. Yeah. They're interested in having a good show and they have a lot of repeat business,

so they need new people. I mean, there's only so much people can hear my uncle joke again and again. I love your uncle joke. It's a great joke. It's a great joke, your uncle joke. We've had this conversation many times, and I always feel like I'm putting,

that people don't understand it, but people always think that because we do a good job at the Comedy Cellar, it betrays some sort of deep care about comedy and artistry and stuff like that. And the thing is, of course, I mean, I'm a musician myself. Of course, I value artistry and all that stuff. You can put the viola away.

Oh, great. Thank you, Dan. But it's a business. And I would think you don't need to value artistry or comedy in order to understand that you have to have the best comedy in the world on your stage. It's like, I don't need to love pizza,

but if I'm going to have a pizzeria, you better goddamn know I'm going to, that pizza is, I'm going to put all my effort into making sure I have the very best pizza I can have. Oh, you must really love pizza. No,

I'm a, I'm in business. But there are some people, but there are some club owners, and in particular, the stand is in this category, where the owners started off as comedy fans. And so to them, there's a particular meaningfulness. This is not the case with the comedy cell. This is not the case with, I think, most clubs.

Well, maybe Gotham, Chris Mazzilli, rather, was a comic, so he might have had a certain affection for the art form. But most of the clubs were just, these were businessmen trying to make money, and so they weren't necessarily. I mean, like, we do, except that, okay, so how do I explain this? Why do the clubs that are run by people

who have been comedians and who care about comedy so much, apparently, why do they have check spots? And why does the club that doesn't care that much like that? Why do I have the sense to say, no, I have performers on my stage. I'm not going to hand out checks while they're performing. It's very classy. I'm saying like-

Yeah, I can't understand. I don't know why. I guess it's just they- No, you're right. Yes, because- You're right. I think it's insane to me to be giving out checks while somebody's on stage.

But that's what I'm trying to say. It's because you think about the artist. No, it's bad for business. I don't know. I think that you really take... You think the show doesn't suffer when the last comic is trying to talk over people. Who had the tuna salad?

Disgusting. It's actually awful. No way to do a show. Who had the tuna salad? Like, you know, this is disgusting. It's actually awful. No way to do a show. It's horrible. So I mean, like, again, I'm not saying I don't care about comedy. I'm just saying, like, that is not what you're seeing. You're a perfectionist and you really pay attention to the details.

He's trying to make money is what he's trying to tell you. You keep fighting him. You're fighting him tooth and nail on this. Yeah, of course I'm trying to make money. But it's not just money. It's like you're doing something, do it right. No, yeah. I mean, what's his face was asking me, not like somehow like I don't know why he's asking me this.

Kyle, what makes the seller like the best? Kyle who? Kyle Smith. Kyle Smith. Who's that? The author of the national review we had two weeks ago. Oh, okay. Oh, okay.

I mean, I should have just said he's just trying to run a business. Well, you know, because it reminds me of... I'm like, Noam really cares about the comedians and he puts the comedians first and he cares about the sound

and he cares about the seating and he pays attention to the details. Yeah, yeah. I should have... That was the wrong answer. That's the right answer but the wrong motivation. So, but it's not money.

So, you do something, you do something right. So, when I was a kid... Oh, how should I should we so when i was being to play in the band in the wah i would get really mad when the musicians wouldn't play well even if we were playing something funny or light-hearted or whimsical or just or spontaneous like like don't let's not bullshit around here like yeah and it'd be like and everything always because you know you're trying to make money blah blah i say no because when i would grow up like i'd play with my father he played guitar too and we play in the living room if i didn't take it seriously he'd get furious at me

just like oh just forget it we're not we're not playing today it was just the two of us it's like you just do it you know you just do it right that's all if you care about money enough and you care about artistry enough you actually get the same result it turns out yes that's interesting that's good. That's true. You do have to have, you have to have a certain kind of, for lack of a better word,

sophistication. You have to be able to understand what's going on. But it is caring about details. And, you know, some people really don't give a shit. They don't give a shit what it sounds like. They don't give a shit what it looks like.

I think it's also an intelligence. Some people have no idea why their show's not good. They don't have the wherewithal to say, oh, it's the sound. It's because the music from the bar is bleeding in and it's ruining the, you know. You must be very

sensitive to that as a musician. You notice. Yeah, I mean, I think it drives most comics crazy, though, when you can hear the music. It just ruins. If I could make you a star in comedy with a snap of my finger and the only price to pay would be give up music, would you take it? When you say give up music, do you mean give up? You can listen to music.

I can listen to it? Oh, sure. You can listen all day long. What's a star in comedy? Well, what's a star in comedy? How much am I making? Dan Netterman. Sarah Silverman or higher?

I mean, whatever you want. Whatever you want. I mean, probably, yeah. So I just can never pick up an instrument again. You pick it up, you can't play it? Yeah, yes. You would take that, wow. I think, I don't know.

I might feel differently tomorrow, but, you know, today. I didn't think it was a Twilight Zone episode like this, wasn't there? And also, somebody you don't know will die. That was a Twilight Zone episode like this, wasn't there? And also, somebody you don't know will die. That was a Twilight Zone. In that case, I'd take Dan Madiman level out. That was a movie, The Box or whatever. No, that's a Twilight Zone.

That's like the only episode of the Twilight Zone I ever saw as a kid, and it freaked me out so much. Which one is that? And someone you don't know will die. You get a million dollars. You press this button. And if you press the button, you get a million dollars or whatever the money was. But somebody you don't know will die.

So the guy, him and his wife all night long, they're debating. Okay, they press the button. The guy comes over with the money. And he takes the box back. What are you doing with the box? Oh, we're going to reprogram it and give it to somebody else, but it'll be somebody you don't even know. Get it.

He'll probably die. Because now he's going to die when the next guy. I have goosebumps. That episode haunts me. I swear to God, that's awful. I really think you should send in those five minutes and I think that you concocted a story

that does not exist in reality. I mean, I think it's like, first of all, the five minutes are probably hysterical. It's very annoying to make a tape that's precisely... I assume he's not going to time it with an

atomic clock, but to get it to five minutes... Because there's other shows, Perry. If there was no other show, I would do it. five minutes... Can you believe what I have to put up with? No, because there's other shows, Perry. If there was no other show, I would do it. But there's other shows, so I ended up doing TBS. I ended up doing Conan. This was... I mean, it doesn't really...

But how annoying, really, on a scale from one to ten, how... Very, very, very, very annoying. To make those tapes is... I hate making tapes for talk shows. It is the worst. Now you're making it even more difficult. Just take videos of yours that you already have and edit them into a five minute thing and do those jokes. Well, because most of the jokes are jokes that by the very nature of doing a talk show, they want jokes you haven't done in another talk show.

So I don't have the tape handy. So I got to do it. So you're going to make it difficult. I'll just do Cohen. I mean, if doing the Tonight Show meant what it used to mean, then I would go through those hoops. But since it doesn't, I'll just do Conan or

Colbert or whatever other show. What's that? Too late for Conan. Conan is gone, but there's Corden, there's Myers, there's Colbert. Except for the Insult Dog Triumph, I don't think you know. Except for the insult dog, Triumph. I don't think I ever saw anything on the Conan O'Brien show.

I liked him. He's a pleasant enough guy, but I never understood, how did he do so well for so long? That's a terrible thing to say. I'm sorry I said that. I barely ever watch it. Okay, what I'm saying is, I get Johnny Carson. It's about the guests.

The guests are good, and Triumph was amazing. Triumph was amazing, right? So Johnny Carson was phenomenal, right? Like, obviously, Johnny Carson was... And then David Letterman, especially when he first came on the scene, this was something fresh and amazing. And he was funny, and he was alpha male,

and he was cool, and he was original. I mean, it was, you know... And Dan has to go, we can wind up. And other than those two guys, nobody ever really made that much of an impact on me. Now, Conan was a funny guy. A $15 bag. But as a host, like, I don't know. I never fell in love with Conan.

I mean, I don't know. That's a bad now because the truth is I've never watched almost any of these shows. I'm afraid Conan O'Brien might hear that I actually said this. I really feel bad. He doesn't give a shit about me, but I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings anyway. I feel bad that I said it.

How can we never feel bad when you say things like that to me? Well, you're here to defend yourself. Anyway, folks, you want to wrap it up or you guys can continue. I guess all I'm saying is that, aside from, people think,

say he's brilliant. I don't, I'm not familiar with his work. I really don't know, but people say he's incredible. He's very, very funny. He's very, very talented. I just,

I don't think I ever got him as like the, I didn't get Leno either, by the way. It wasn't like none of these guys. How come you don't feel bad if Leno hears that? You're going to hurt his feelings. Mike Douglas.

And now we're going back. You have a spot. You're going to be late. I have a spot, but do you want to wrap it up, Noam? Thank you very much. That was really fun. You should come on Monday nights. We play music in the Owl Tree. Oh, fun. And bring your viola. All right. But doesn't she have to come

to rehearsal first? Or can she just show up? She's got it together. She can just sit show up she's got it together she can just sit she's got it together wow Dan's book is called no obligation my book Iris Spiro Before COVID

available on Amazon buy it and thank you and podcast at comedyseller.com for questions, comments, and suggestions goodnight everybody goodnight everybody

sorry Conan