The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - New York City, the Royals and Andrew Yang

Episode Date: April 15, 2021

Mayoral candidate, Andrew Yang, joins us!  Andrew Yang is a NYC public school parent, business owner, and activist. He is running for mayor to help the city recover, after having successfully running a top education company, a non-profit recognized by President Obama, and building an anti-poverty movement during his presidential campaign.

recording this is live from the table the official podcast of new york's world famous comedy seller now reopen with shows seven nights a week we're coming at you on sirius xm 99 raw dog and on the laugh button podcast network this is dan natterman co-host of live from the table i'm with noam dorman owner of the uh the world famous comedy seller and also co-host of live from the table and our producer periel ashen brand what a show we have tonight we have uh mayoral candidate andrew yang will be joining us a little bit later uh but right now we have some things to discuss uh big news in the comedy world or at least in the comedy seller world number one uh comedy seller vegas will be reopening this week. So all you Vegas listeners,

check the website for showtimes and tickets. Also, Noam, what I noticed is that, what's this Mint Comedy? You've been streaming shows from the, is it from the Village Underground? Yeah, that's our friend Mustafa, who used to be Chappelle's manager, is still kind of like Dave's right-hand man.

He has a startup company where they're trying to start doing live streaming from comedy clubs all over America, I think, not just us. And, you know, he's a friend, so I'm trying to help him. So you can, if you can, you can, if you can't come to New York and see the show in person, you can stream the show. Which shows can you stream? Is this up and running?

Is what's going on? Well, it's only live. And I, and I think there's another show. I don't know when the next show is, but it's only live and there, the shows are watermarked.

So if somebody were to try to record it, it actually has the, the account name of the person who recorded it would show up. So hopefully comedians will feel pretty secure in doing material that way. And also if there's real money, the comedians can make significantly more money. Well, I'm just looking at the website, mintcomedy.com, $7.99 per show. Watch live watch live raw uncut stand-up comedy from the world's top clubs that would of course include your club noam now um 7.99 per show are you charging mustafa you know the jew and the needs to know all the details um and are you giving him the room for

free and who's keeping the money and can comedians benefit from this financially uh yes yes and yes uh he's getting the room for free uh he he's keeping all the money and he's paying the comedians i think they're already paying them like 200 a spot just to do these pilot shows on on top of the regular spot pay wow that's pretty good yeah so um all right uh and and as far as the regular spot pay is concerned, and again, this is nobody business, but I'm asking anyway, because we here at Live From The Table are an open book. Are you paying the same money that you were paying

before the pandemic, even though it's only one third capacity? No, we're paying less, a lot less. Paying like, I think we're paying $50 a spot or $55 a spot, but every night, weekdays and weekends. We have no choices. We only have 40 seats and something like that,

and we have to close by 1030. So I think everybody understands. But as soon as we can bring in more money, we'll go back to our regular rates. I mean, I've said this to you in the past. Even going back to the infamous comedy union strike that we had years ago, comics are generally not unreasonable. I mean, we understand that you're making significantly less money.

In fact, you just spent a year making no money at all. So did we, obviously. But I think comedians are quite understanding. Comics are generally reasonable. They're generally smarter than average. They're generally more, more logical than average. On the other hand, they also do sell themselves short because there's, there's very few, there's very, there's, you could totally conceive of club owners selling, selling the spots to the

comedians. You know, comedians are dying to perform. If, if I have a crowded room, a full room and you, you're a standup comic. And if I said, listen, I want 20 bucks and you can perform in front of that full room, a lot of comics would pay the 20 bucks, right? So you have this weird bargaining power where actually you're going to get paid. But the truth is that the club owner could probably even sell you the spot. Forget about paying you the spot. I mean, I've often said that there should be a class at Harvard Business School on the economics of comedy clubs. It's like a weird dynamic where it's like, we need you and you need us. And it's kind of, I think that's called a bilateral monopoly in economics.

I don't know if I'm using the term correctly. But we see that playing out because the big stars work for free. The bigger the star, the less you pay them at your club, essentially. Because they don't need the money, but they do need to get on stage and test their new jokes. Yeah, you're right. And I mean, we pay well. I don't take that, what I just said, that doesn't enter into my thinking

when I set the price of what to pay the comics. But I do notice the comics working for less money than they could get in other rooms, sizable rooms. And I'm like, what the hell? Like, why don't they pay the comics more sometimes? Anyway. By the way, a bilateral monopoly exists when a market has only one supplier and one buyer.

Well, that's not quite the situation, but I think there are similar elements. Anyway, I get an email. Noam sends emails every now and again where he gets hopping mad about one particular issue or another and he was upset because john oliver the the talk show i don't watch john oliver i don't watch him but but uh but noam i guess he read so prince philip died you know the uh the with the group of edinburgh and um the you know queen elizabeth's husband and apparently john oliver said yeah it's a real tragedy unless you knew unless you knew the guy

or unless unless you knew something about him so anyway noam got all bent out of shape about that and sent me and periel an email saying uh would he say when eddie murphy dies would he say would he say the same thing because eddie murphy once faggot, you know, in his act. The problem with those emails is that you can't write back without just getting fucking eviscerated. Yeah, that's the way I like to keep it. So Prince Philip, you know, Prince Philip, I didn't know anything about Prince Philip until a week ago, but he made some Asian eye shape joke in 1986 or something like that. Right. And, you know, and John Oliver is just, you know, John Oliver didn't mention it, but the articles about it,

like this was part of the case against Prince Philip. This is a man who lived through the war against Japan. Now we all know the way it was perfectly acceptable to talk about the Japanese when they were the enemy. And the Japanese had a special, they lived in infamy because they attacked Pearl Harbor, which was the most outrageous of all the chapters in American history prior to 9-11. Was he making that comment about Chinese people or Japanese? Well, that's a good point. He's making it about Chinese people. But I'm just saying like this, and that's absolutely a fair point,

but that he was making this kind of like cultural acceptance of this kind of joke. And I was going to say, and this is the same time when Jerry Lewis would make what are today obviously offensive caricatures of Asians and Bucktooth and Don Rickles would do such things. So I'm not defending any of this, but to hold this against this 99 year old man or, and comments like this from 40 years ago. And then, yeah. So, so if that's the standard, then fine.

So what are we going to do about the comics that made much more recent jokes and much more harsh jokes about homosexuality, right? It's just such a pick it, you know, when it's convenient type of standard. And that's what I'm reacting to. And this kind of, this whole kind of smug type of humor was just, and I like John Oliver, you know, I feel bad saying this, but just this kind of smug kind of humor. I mean, he's kind of very smug anyway, John Oliver, isn't he? I don't know much about him, but whenever I hear him, he seems to be preaching. Yeah. But I don't mind a good smug joke if it holds, you know what I mean? Like if he really exposes something and he's, and in that smug joke joke he's making a point and he's ready

to enforce that point or bring that point to bear wherever it rears its ugly head, I can respect that. Some people do deserve to be derided. But this really struck me as

just a total criticism of convenience. And there's so many more recent examples of people he would never come at like that. And when these people die, he would never make such remarks about them. Now, you know, having said that, he's British and maybe Prince Philip was a real prick. And maybe I just don't get the whole Prince Philip thing. So that's why it was an email rather than something that I brought up on the show. But I appreciate, Dan, that you just bring up any private email that I sent to you on the

show. Well, before the show, I believe, let me just verify this. I send you a list of talking points for your approval or disapproval. And on the list of talking points, and let me just get the email. Or to ignore entirely. I believe one of the talking points was let me just

get the talking point was, The Prince and the Talk Show Host was the title of the talking point, and it, John Oliver had precious few kind words for Prince Philip, who talk show host was the title of the talking point. And it, John Oliver had precious few kind words for Prince Philip who died this week at the age of 99 on Sunday's episode of last week, tonight, equipped, et cetera, et cetera. So the topic was, I, it doesn't mention your email in particular, but the topic is. But anyway, so here's this,

I just tell Perry, I'll show you about the governor Cuomo. One said of the Jews during Sukkot, he said, these people and their fucking tree houses. So like, that is, you know, and I'm not, I mean, I don't like that. I guess I don't like that kind of talk, but you know, that was just just recently where's the outrage about that we're gonna start complaining about some king of england or i was outraged and you told me that i

shouldn't be yes because well it's not a tree house it's a it's uh you know technically a tree house is a house built in a tree not a house built of trees. This is, this is my, this is my point. I think Andrew Yang agrees with me because he defended Shane Gillis. So we can ask him about that. My truth is that he did. Yeah. We should definitely ask him about that. Real people say off color things, right? When they're surrounded by people who they believe understand them and can read the entire

nuance of the situation. So I might make a joke about Puerto Ricans to my Puerto Rican wife or to my mother-in-law and everybody understands that I'm in love with a Puerto Rican and I have half Puerto Rican children or whatever. And it's just a joke, right? And, you know, if the governor is exasperated with the Hasidic community or something, and he says something kind of outrageous and he gets a laugh or he's just blowing off steam, I just don't feel that I can conclude from that, that Governor Cuomo has any burning animus towards the Jewish people. Now, maybe I'm wrong. I don't feel that I can conclude from that, that Governor Cuomo has any burning animus towards the Jewish people. Now, maybe I'm wrong. I saw a clip, it made me laugh out loud, a clip of Prince Philip in an interview years ago talking about his son. And he was talking about polo. And he says, well, why don't you play polo? And Prince Philip said, well, you know,

there's a certain age, you know, there's certain things. My son is still, my son, of course, is younger than me, oddly enough. He doesn't look it. That's first-class humor. He, you know, he's, I don't know how his son would have felt about that comment, but maybe they had the kind of relationship where they, you know,

where they busted each other's balls. I don't know, but. And look, and I don't, I think, I hardly think I'm unique in what I'm about to say. I, I, my father was, um, deeply committed to, for instance, uh, uh, uh, uh, gay people being treated equally in society. He was deeply offended by the normalized anti-homosexual bigotry, but he'd make a gay joke, you know?

So having experienced that, I can't be a total hypocrite and pretend that, you know, it was okay for my father, but if I catch someone else doing it, they must be the worst person in the world. How widespread is this Prince Philip hostility? Because, you know, most people, at least on Twitter, they seem to be respectful and saddened. You know, I don't know how widespread

John Oliver's attitude is. I mean, I guess he's not the only one, obviously, that hasn't. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I think Prince Philip was known to, you know, have this kind of off-color sense of humor. He's kind of the Roseanne Barr of the aristocracy. He also famously told a young boy that was overweight and wanted to be an astronaut, he said, I don't know what he said precisely, but he said you should lose weight or something like that.

The moon's not really full of green cheese, you know. My dear boy. My dear boy. Yeah, he was that kind of guy, you know? Animal. But, yeah, we know so little about the guy because he's just sort of there in the queen's shadow all the time. Yeah, what is that about?

Why isn't he a king? Because the queen, because he's not descended from that line. Queen Elizabeth, it was the I guess the eldest child of the previous king or something. I don't know how it works. But Prince Philip... Queen Elizabeth's father was the stuttering,

the one who stuttered who did the king's speech. George or Edward or something? George. And Edward was the one who abdicated the throne. No, no, no, no. Edward died. Queen Elizabeth's father died. He was like a big smoker.

I think he died of lung cancer. That's the one who gave the speech. I think her brother was supposed to take over and he abdicated, something like that. No, no. The one that went, he abdicated the throne because he went for that divorced hussy, Wallace Simpson. That wasn't Elizabeth's father. That was Elizabeth's uncle. And then the brother took

over who was the stutterer. Was that his proper name, the stutterer? Well, I don't mean the stutterer in a negative way at all. Only when he went on the Howard Stern stern show he was called stuttering george yeah and and apparently uh the the stutter was was rather exaggerated for that movie the king's speech uh that the stutter was was a mild i think john's also exaggerated but i think stuttering john is also exaggerated i don't know we've met him he doesn't stutter that bad right i don't remember i i had a roommate in in uh in college who was a stutterer and you know that talk about people who um who are afflicted that is a terrible uh a burdensome terribly burdensome handicap because when they're caught in that kind of like deer in the headlights moment where they're

trying to get the word out and everybody in the room is aware of it. And they, they must, I mean, they must really be under tremendous stress. Our president, I think there's a stutterer. Yeah. Joe Biden, my best friend from growing up is a stutterer. It's an interesting thing. It really is. Well, well, some people like a comedian that we know, I don't want to say now some people have a little stutter and they'll come out with a word, right? But other people have a stutter, which really just stops them dead in their tracks.

And maybe seven, eight, ten seconds can pass before the next word comes out. That's really, you have to feel for those people. That's hard. Didn't John Stossel tell us that he used to? He used to stutter, yeah that sounds familiar yeah no and what do you think of the monarchy in general do you i mean do you think it's a useless anachronism or do you have a soft spot for it my suspicion is you have a soft spot i i don't have a feel for it i i it's weird right i i like it i mean i like it because to me it's like it's kind of like colonial williamsburg you know it's weird right i i like it i mean i like it because to me it's like it's kind of like colonial williamsburg you know it's like you go and you can see kind of how things used to be

um which is why i which is why i kind of you know i kind of i was against the marriage to uh to kate middleton you know because she was a wasn't a appropriate standing. And I mean, if you're going to be a living museum, you might as well do it right and be racist and crusty. No. But- What is wrong with you? Queen Elizabeth, her great-grandmother, great-grandmother was Queen Victoria.

Her great-great-great-grandfather was King George who fought the George Washington. I mean, these people are descended, directly descended from humongous historical figures. I mean, it's nonsense though. It's just figureheads. It's made up. It's all people in, so is Colonial Williamsburg.

I mean, all right, but you're exactly, it's just made up. It's just ridiculous fanfare nonsense. Well, no, it's, I fanfare nonsense well no it's it's i mean yes and no i i think that how long has it existed thousands of years i don't know well i don't know exactly but it's i don't know if it's the same line like if henry the eighth is a direct ancestor of elizabeth no there's a few different lines because at some point lines yeah so i but but it goes back on i mean the first king of england i guess probably like uh probably like the year 1000 first king

of england athelstan uh king of wessex and the first king of all england okay so so anytime you have something that's been passed down for a thousand plus years uh it's something, you know, I mean, listen, everything human at some point can be said, this is all stupid, it's all meaningless, right? But, you know, if I'm not going to be that nihilistic or whatever it is, something that's gone on for a thousand years, I give some respect to that, but I don't agree with Dan. I mean, it is a hereditary monarchy, and I don't think Dan meant it matters what color somebody is, but I mean, I think that it would be to their credit. I'm just saying, why modernize that which is entire value

is based on kind of being a throwback? At least that's how I see it. Because it's probably more valuable to just get rid of the whole thing. No, no. They don't need, listen, there's no, they don't do any harm, do they? Yeah, I think. They cost money, but other than that, they cost money that the British seem more than willing to spend.

It's like a caste system. The British monarchy? Yeah. Why? Because you're not, they're like on like a different level than other human beings. It seems so ridiculous to me. You have to bow and curtsy when you meet the queen. People like to be submissive, not just in the bedroom.

Society at large. People enjoy, you know, your majesty, the queen. It's a throwback to their heritage of back when, you know, they fought for king and country. And I think they, I mean, I don't know what percentage of English people enjoy that, but a large enough percentage. I would say it's largely entertainment and culture

and um it's it's it's like a living santa claus and uh i don't think it does any harm unless unless and i think the significant unless they actually um engage in in poisoning people's minds in some way, in racist ways or whatever it is, in which case they actually do do harm. I don't really know enough about that whole situation, but I think in general, England kind of likes their, even if they bash it, it's just part of who they are, you know? I'm sure there's other examples.

Doesn't Japan still have an emperor? They might, but Americans like it too. I mean, what kind of ratings did Oprah get from the American public when she interviewed Harry and Meghan? I mean, we love it. We loved, I haven't entirely gotten over the death of Princess Diana.

Well, I guess I'm over it, but that was sad to me. And I did like Diana. She was special though because she kind of broke ranks. That was sort of why we liked her. We didn't know she broke ranks, did we, until after she died?

Yeah, I mean, you know, at the beginning, she didn't break ranks and yet her wedding was huge ratings on American television in 80 or 81 or whatever the hell that was.

She was 18, I think, at the time. She was 18? I believe so when she married. And he was like 30. And he was kind of a stick in the mud, you know. There's that famous interview where they ask, are you guys in love? And Prince Charles said, well, what is love, really? But anyway.

I watched that show, crown did you have you seen it on netflix i saw just the diana years because that's all that was really of interest to me it's really good if they do another season with megan and harry and all that and then yeah i'm all in i'll watch that has anybody seen the judge oh no i'm sorry your honor the show your honor no with uh the guy from uh breaking bad. What's his name? Brian Cranston. Brian Cranston. Yeah. Well, I, I would, uh, it's one of these shows. That's it's just absolutely awful yet. You want you, once you get hooked,

you cannot stop watching it because you just need to know how this whole thing is going to turn out. I mean, the plot holes and the, the unbelievable scenes and the the unbelievable scenes and the the way they drag out a show which could have really just been a two-hour movie with a pretty good premise into like an eight or ten episode just they drag everything but oftentimes like especially on netflix they'll they'll do a series based on a book and then when the book ends they're making too much money. They don't, you know,

so they do another season, but it's already, you know, it's all wrapped up in a nice bow, but they want to make more money. So they do another season. And, you know, it's never good, but, you know, it's good enough to get the ratings.

By the way, I read that Netflix has lost one third of their subscriber base. Did you see that? Why? Because of all these other streaming channels. There's competition now. HBO Max, Paramount, Amazon Prime.

I think that it's been a while since Netflix has had a must-see TV, like House of Cards. Most of Netflix is just horrific. I mean, but Netflix, you know, the quantity is so enormous. I just can't believe, like how? First of all, I can't believe that I haven't gotten a role in something. It seems they're making so many shows, you know, I'm shocked. I'm shocked that everybody currently is not, you know, an actor on a Netflix show. That's how many shows they have,

but especially me who's supposed to be in show business. I will recommend, I'm sorry, Perry, I'll go ahead. No, you did have a role on a show you were in. Oh, that was on HBO. The point I'm making is, is why am I not working more? But that's the point I've been making for 20 years, even before Netflix existed. And I think it was a valid point then. Even more so. Yeah.

I saw this, this documentary on WeWork on Hulu. This is fantastic. Everybody needs to watch this documentary on WeWork about this guy, Newman. I forget his first name. Adam Neumann. I used to work with him. Oh, really? I'm surprised you didn't come on to him. Oh, gross. Handsome, charismatic dude.

We can talk about that on a different show, but Andrew Yang is here. Hey. Great. Okay. Good, because we've, I mean, let's face it. How long can we talk about Hulu? All right. Ready? I'm letting him in. Let him in. Dan, you introduce him. Well, of course I will introduce him, because you know that that's sort of my thing. Let me call up the introduction. All right, I'm going to let him in though, okay? Okay, should I give him the long intro? No, give him the short one that I sent you today. Sweet. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. One of the biggest names in politics today andrew yang

here he is buffering buffering buffering he'll be here drum roll please and he's gone what happened he heard what you said about Meghan Markle let's see well I was only half serious I do think that the royal family you know they have traditions wait if he doesn't come back

do I still get credit for booking him unfortunately no unfortunately you do not. And why would you, really? But I suspect he'll be back. So, I guess, text him, or how have you been communicating with him? Wait, hold on.

By the way, so who did you... I... Did we take too long to let him in? No, I let him in immediately. Did you do something wrong, Cariel? Did you blow it? Oh, my God. is automatically my fault it's not like he had a faulty connection sound like my wife just remember that well your wife often has some very good points just remember we have to ask him about why politics is like comedy and Shane Gillis. Are you supposed to pronounce the T? I've never really been quite clear on that.

You can do it either way. Often or often. Either way. It's either way. Either or either way. Either way, either way. What about Arkansas? Is it Arkansas or Arkansas? Arkansas. I didn't know you could do that question. either way either way either way what about Arkansas is it our Kansas or Arkansas what about Missouri is it Missouri or it's Missouri well it's Missouri or Missouri depending you know, on your dialect. It's also New Orleans. What did you think of my suggestion,

trying to get Geddy Lee on the show, Rush's Geddy Lee? That'd be great. Peril, did you emphasize that we had Dennis DeYoung on when you contacted his people? I certainly did, although that would have been something to remind me of before, not after. What happened with Andrew Yang? I don't know.

I just emailed them and said that he was here and then he disappeared. I would imagine that his connection fell through or that he'll be back. Because they said that he would be here between 745 and 750. And now it's 748. I have faith that he would be here between 745 and 750, and now it's 748. I have faith that he will be back. I don't think we said anything. He couldn't have heard it anyway. I'm going to be so disappointed if he doesn't come back.

Noam, why wouldn't he come back? On what planet would you log into a show and then not ever show up again like what could have happened between now and then a bit of Cassandra as you know and sometimes he's correct is it Cassandra or Cassandra either way it's kind of what you are. Although you were right. You kept saying, I always said the seller, nothing can stop the seller. And you said,

well, you never know. And then the pandemic came along and stopped everything. I got an email recently. All right. Thank you. Thank you. Hello, everybody. Hi, Alex. Alex Summer. Alex is my new friend who works with Mr. Andrew Yang. Hi. You're on the air. Or whatever this is. You're on the internet.

Hi. Hey, how's it going? So Andrew's in and out? Yeah. Well, he came in and then he disappeared. Let me track him down. Sorry, he was coming from Rockaways. That's okay.

We can edit this, so it doesn't matter. And we will. Please do. Geddy Lee, the reason, I mean, obviously he's a huge star, but one of the reasons I wanted Geddy on is because Noam was talking about how Seinfeld has to deal with fans all the time. Geddy did an interview where he said that one time

after a show, there were a bunch of fans waiting for him and he kind of snuck out the back and he said he felt guilty the whole way home and vowed never to do it again and from now on he always uh but he's canadian isn't he i think andrew's here they're very nice i have a i have to tell you guys something after. Remind me about. Yay. Andrew Yang. That's right. We are so happy to meet you. Go ahead, Dan.

Do your quick intro. I do the introductions on this show and I do them quite well. So I will do it now. Andrew Yang is a New York City public school parent, business owner and activist. He's running for mayor to help the city recover after having successfully run a top education company, a non-profit recognized by President Obama, and building an anti-poverty movement during his presidential campaign. You remember his presidential campaign? He was a big supporter of a universal basic income, and his fans were called the Yang Gang, I believe. Yes, Yang Gang, I love you.

Hey, everyone, it's great to be here. And I love what you all do, too. Live comedy is so important, not just to New York City, but to the country and the world. And you all truly are one of the temples to live comedy. So let's get the temple open and filled with whoever attends temples. My people do. The temple is open, but it's open at one third capacity.

Well, we have to do everything we can to change that based upon, frankly, people getting vaccinated and the data showing that it's safe for us to get more people into theaters and clubs. And I think we're getting there very quickly. I don't know about you all. Who here has been vaccinated? I have been vaccinated with the infamous Johnson and Johnson vaccine. You can still raise your hand, my friend. That's vaccination. So we've all been vaccinated. And every passing day, more of the people I run into and have meetings with say, hey, I've been vaccinated. Are you vaccinated? So if we keep this up, I think clubs are going to be at more than a third capacity in no time.

I think they're going to start extending the curfew in a very short amount of time, too. So, Mr. Yang, so I'm the owner of the Comedy Cellar as well. And I'm a longtime New Yorker. And of course, as a small business owner, I'm very concerned about who's going to be mayor. And I'm leaning very much towards supporting you, mostly because I read you as a not extremely ideological, practical person who will call people into the room, listen to reason and try to make the best choice for policy decisions. Is that a fair way to describe you?

That was so spot on that we should use that for a TV ad. It should be like Andrew Yang, not terribly ideological, will listen to reason, get people in the room, and try and make the most reasonable policy decision. The end. Andrew Yang for mayor, Yang for in-law. And one of the things I would measure, people I would support is how much are they aware of the law of unintended consequences? How much are they able to realize that whatever they think is the right thing to do, there's all sorts of ways it can backfire. Even like, I'll go way back, the seatbelt law.

Seatbelt law, I was never particularly for it because it was just another way for cops to pull people over, right? And here we are now seeing everybody coming around to the idea that pulling people over is fraught. So I- pulling people over is um is fraught so i completely understand the law of unintended consequences and you get a group of people together in a room and they think hey here's a good idea and it seems like a good idea but then you do it and you translate it to the real world and lo and behold like all sorts of stuff happens um and one of the contexts you understand that in very

naturally known because you run a business and so you make decisions every day I ran a small business here in New York City and if you run a small business then you know it's all about the concrete the real the practical the like what will actually work for the person who you have in front of you say hey you're going to do this. Like, you know, you can have some idea. The problem in an environment like city government is like, you make a rule four levels up in a boardroom and then like the impact gets felt miles away. And then the person who made the rule up is like nowhere near the scene.

That's exactly right. There's so many well-intended laws that we live with that, that we just know the people who made these laws had no idea what they were doing. They just don't work in real life. Go ahead, Dan. Go ahead. Ask your question. I want to rapid fire a bunch of questions because we haven't got much time.

Will you actually vote for Andrew Yang? Because Andrew Noem, he loves talking about politics. He doesn't get out and vote typically. I will vote. I will vote for mayor uh there's very few elections where it uh seems like if um my vote counts and i think i this is your vote's gonna count this time for sure no and everyone listening to this the primaries on june 22nd and early votes start june 10th so it's imminent um but But if enough New Yorkers get out and vote, we can truly turn the page. The truth is that only 24% of registered voters have voted in past elections. And so you wind up

with results like de Blasio. I think he got something like 280,000 votes in one of his winning campaigns. And that's out of a city of 8.3 million. So if you do the math on that. That's insane. That's insane. I don't think I've ever actually voted for mayor. I usually just vote for the presidential election and whoever else happens to be running at that time. I voted for Giuliani, not bizarro Giuliani that's alive and kicking today, but the old Giuliani who is hard to believe is the same flesh and blood. Well, Dan, you're totally normal. About three quarters of New Yorkers also don't vote in the mayoral, but we have to change that this time because, like you said,

this is the election. We better fucking vote this time. Yeah. Dan. I voted sticker. Let's get those stickers. Get those stickers, people. Let's get on to the questions.

No, he wants to ask his question. So go ahead. Our, you know, Tyler Cowen, the economist, correct? Yes. He suggested a question to me. He said, do you think that, this wasn't his exact words, is being mayor of New York the second hardest job in the country?

And why do so few mayors become president? I think that this is going to be one of the most challenging jobs in the country for sure. And I think even if you do a good job, someone's going to be pissed off at any moment in time. A lot of the job is going to be having the conviction to push through things when some folks are mad at you. And I should say I'm completely focused on getting New York City back on its feet. Like no one should do a job thinking about anything else but the job they're doing, particularly in this kind of situation. Do you think... Wait, Dan, I'm sorry, Dan. Go ahead. So you said something in one of the presidential debates

that didn't get much attention, but it spoke very loudly to me. And this is almost like a fantasy coming true to get to be able to ask you about it. You said the following. It was about education. The data clearly shows that 65 to 70 percent of our students outcomes are determined outside of the school. We're talking about time spent at home with parents. Words read to them when they're young. Stress levels in the house, income type in neighborhood. We're putting money into schools, and educators know this. We're saying you're 100% responsible for educating your kids, but you can only control 30%. They all know this. The answer is to put money directly into the families and neighborhoods to give our kids a chance to learn and our teachers a chance to

teach. What were you getting at there? Just facts, man. I mean, the data clearly does show that two-thirds of educational outcomes are determined by out-of-school factors, primarily what's happening in the household. And educators do experience this every day, where kids come in not, frankly, in any position to learn or condition to learn or nutrition to learn or mindset to learn. I mean, like kids come in traumatized. And so like imagining that a teacher is just going to be there and be able to teach kids effectively and equally is to our earlier conversation. Like it doesn't actually match up with the reality on the ground, the reality in that classroom.

So if we want to give our teachers a better shot at it, we have to try to do more for a lot of these kids, frankly. And there are community schools and extended hours programs. The city's actually this summer launching a hybrid summer camp plus summer school, which I love, that's opened up every New York City school children, to child. So it's just the data, like to your point.

And, you know, we should be investing in 100%, not just the 35% or 30%. Well, I've had a theory for a while that if we could just keep kids on track academically through like the fourth or fifth grade even, if we could just keep them on track until then almost all our other problems down the road would disappear because i feel like if a kid isn't on track by fifth grade it's he unless he's very gifted or some sort of outlier you're never going to get him back on track maybe a comedian maybe a comedian can get back on track

i sense that some of these comedians didn't hit their stride until later comedians are late bloomers yeah the truth of the matter is is that in fifth grade i was set for glory i was set for greatness uh all the teachers said that i was special uh in in a good way in a gifted way rather um you know and i got good grades and everything and then just mental illness got the better of me and i wound up being a comedian so so anyway unusual uh situation how what what can we do to keep these young kids to raise the scores in reading and and math and make them write better what can we actually do i'm a parent myself anyone else you're a parent i have three oh yeah then you know no so uh any parent knows that what goes on with that child uh starts from day zero not when they showed up to kindergarten you know what i mean like like by the time they show up when they're five a lot of

stuff's already decided and that's not um uh you know opinion that science. Like a lot of that kids development is happening. So the first place to start is by actually giving all new moms and hopefully all new parents parental leave. We're one of maybe four countries in the world that don't do that. It's common sense. The other countries that don't do it are literally something like Swaziland and Papua New Guinea. It's like them and the United States of America. So a lot of these kids are frankly getting off on the wrong foot because their parent is being forced to balance going to work and taking care of the child from day one. I have a query with regard to that. I think

Noam's in accord with me. You're saying mandating businesses to give employees leave, which sounds to me like more regulation, more red tape, more paperwork. Why not just give everybody, as you suggested, a universal basic income so they can decide whether I think that having a mom get time off from work is common sense, you know, and this is a, someone who runs a, who's run a small business and other organizations, but also as a parent, you know, it's like, yeah, I totally agree with you. And even as a business owner, I mean, I, I always, yes, it's, it's just something uncivilized about a, a new parent having to go to work. But, you know, and then it goes on from there, you know, like helping people access daycare, helping people get the food that they need, like trying to make it. Because if you say you think that if the kids like on course in fifth grade, then we're

in good shape. I happen to agree with you that if the kid is in good shape of fifth grade, like we're good. So that would mean starting essentially at zero and getting them, delivering them to kindergarten in shape to learn. What about charter schools? Are you, you, you, you favor them or not? I'm generally pro charter. I'm just pro any school that delivers for our kids.

There are charter schools that deliver great results and terrible charter schools. So we should get, you know get some serious change in terrible charter schools. To me, it's not about the funding nature of schools. It's about results for kids. And so if a school is working, great. And that should be the standard. No, I'm a believer that technology really isn't the issue and all this money spent on computerized classrooms is is not really where the money could easily be going yeah the studies have shown that technology uh helps good schools become even better but it does not help make a bad school good yeah i mean i just tell you anecdotally trying to teach my kids math and um oh oh and remote schooling is 30 to 70 percent

worse than in-person schooling so if you're a parent that hates that shit, like you're perfectly normal and sane. Yeah, they try to get my kids to do these very slow moving, tedious math learning things. And I'm like, and if I spend 10 minutes with flashcards with them, they learn more than literally in a week of some of these apps. Now, maybe that's just a growing pain of the app. Well, this is the case we have to make. And this is vital for your business. It's vital for New York schools. It's better in person. Kids learning in a classroom is better than over Zoom. People experiencing live comedy in the comedy cellar is approximately a million times better

than re-watching some Netflix special you already saw. New York City is fundamentally about us being together to enjoy, to create, to work, to learn. And that has to be the case that we make over and over again. Zoom is not our friend. And Zoom is not the future of work unless we're fucked. Wait, wait, wait. Where are you with these standardized, de Blasio was trying to find an angle to get rid of the standardized admissions test for Bronx Science and Stuyvesant.

That's a very hot issue in New York. And it also obviously implicates the Asian community directly. Where are you on that whole issue? I think that we should keep these tests, but supplement them with grades and teacher recommendations and essays and interviews and things that frankly, most people would almost assume that we're already included. And then we should expand the number of selective high schools in particular. If you have a million

kids and a lot of demand, why don't you just open new schools, particularly in each borough? Because right now, a lot of kids are commuting more than an hour each way to get to high school. That's not exactly great for learning. I mean, you know what time these schools start the day? These kids are waking up at the crack of dawn. So we should open new selective schools and then broaden the criteria. Dan, you want to say something? Yes. Well, you had said Zoom is not the future. So do you, a lot of people are saying that because of Zoom and because people are now used to working at home, that the real estate market in New York for commercial, for office space is going to collapse. I assume then that you don't put much stock in that theory, or do you? And if so,

what are we going to do about that? I think two things can be true at the same time, Dan, that we have to get people back to the office because that's the way organizations are going to be able to grow and compete and develop. But there's going to be a lot of office space that should be repurposed and looked at for another need. And it's going to be a very difficult adjustment. We have to make that adjustment as quickly as possible. Waiting for things to snap back to 2019 is not the strategy. You know, and I'm an optimist. I'm going to make this happen as mayor.

We're going to get you all and other small business owners back on your feet as quickly as possible. But we shouldn't have any illusions that we're going to get 66 million tourists back in a year. That's not the way it works. You have a lot of those people who were coming from international destinations, and that stuff's going to be depressed for quite some time. So we have to make big moves. And I'm a better person to make some of the moves that we need to make

than these other candidates in large part because I'm coming in fresh. I've run a business, a nonprofit, a movement. I understand that it's not just about government. It's about the private sector. It's about technology. And it's in particular about small businesses like yours because I used to run a small business in New York City and I know the vast majority of New Yorkers work in small mom and pops.

They don't work for the megacorp. So let me ask you a question that's very, very important to me. Last summer during the BLM protests, riots, whatever you want to call them, we spent some very, very stressful evenings boarding up the stores, checking fire extinguishers, whatever you want to call them. We spent some very, very stressful evenings, boarding up the stores, checking fire extinguishers, you know, and worrying essentially that the mayor had told the police maybe to stand down or something close to that.

Now we're coming up on this Chauvin verdict. Let's just say hypothetically that there is a hung jury or I don't think acquittal is, is anywhere possible. Let's say there's a hung jury and riots were to break out or, or let me rephrase it the night before the Chauvin verdict comes down. If you were mayor, how would you handle that? How would you prepare? And then what would you do if violence did break out in the cities to protect businesses and people alike? We have to look out for folks who invested years of their life, you know, in building up a business.

I mean, you can't let those businesses just be victimized. I mean, it's a very tough situation because there are so many people that rightfully feel passionate and angry about seeing people's lives being taken in a way that's dehumanizing. So legitimate protests and expressions of grief and frustration and anger, of course, we support them in every turn, but you can't support destroying people's livelihoods. You can't support violence of any kind. So, you know, that's the line that you have to draw Now, let's lighten it up a bit. You defended our friend Shane Gillis when he got in trouble for his anti-Asian, I don't want to say his anti-Asian, for his Asian caricature that got him fired from SNL. What's your take on all that? And let me sprinkle in that just today, I read that governor cuomo apparently said he's he's tired of these jews in their in their tree houses you know so is it

these kinds of um he was referring to asuka as the holiday yeah and and just so you know that and i'm like i don't really care that he said that so much uh what's how do you put these things things in perspective why do you go easy on people who make remarks like that or jokes? I think it's different for a comedian than it is for people in a lot of other situations. And I was the one who was personally mocked in Shane's comments or joke. And like, I didn't think he should lose his job.

And so I thought, well, like, let me express that. And, you know, I also wanted to set something of an example for people becoming a little bit more tolerant, understanding and forgiving, particularly, again, in the context of entertainment and comedy. You know, I mean, like comedians toe the line for a living. And if you toe the line thousands of times, you're probably going to get it wrong a few times. But that should be just built into the profession, in my mind, as long as it's not malignant or hateful or trying to incite people to some kind of behavior, which I didn't think Shane was doing at all.

And I took the time to listen to it and, and, you know, and his comedy. And I thought to myself, you know, like this is not something that someone should have their livelihood threatened by, you know, and I just wanted to share that with folks. You know, I didn't, I wasn't shocked that NBC did not go along with that because they hadn't invested that much in Shane at that point. But you know, I hope that we can become more understanding of people,

particularly in your context. Yeah. Well, yeah, I, we all, we all appreciated you for that. And I was sloppy to mix Cuomo's remark in with the comedian's remark, because obviously in one sense they have nothing to do with each other. But the reason they were joined in my mind is because I, and I could be wrong here and I'm definitely no fan of Andrew Cuomo I've been I was critical of him for a year on many of the things to do with COVID I just think sometimes it's just simply not correct to think that because somebody's uttered some words that that's much of a window into how they really feel deeply about things, you know.

I hadn't heard those comments, but I will say it's not great for like an elected official. No, it's not. These things and the Jewish community in particular. I mean, there's been a lot of anti-Semitic violence, you know, lately and also historically. You know, Andrew, as a politician or a would-be politician, that the Jewish community can be a royal pain in the ass. You can't, Andrew, you can't. You're going to have to deal with these people. Andrew, don't even listen to him.

I'm a fan of all New Yorkers. I love all New Yorkers, and I want to make the city better for all of us. Can I ask a question? Please do. Just as a born and bred and lifelong New Yorker, I am wondering, how long do you really think it's going to take for the city to bounce back to something that resembles what we knew pre-COVID, if that's something that you can answer. I think it's going to be better very quickly by this spring and summer. I mean, a lot of the capacity is going to open, weather's going to be warm, outdoor dining will be back, people will be vaccinated, people will be visiting. It's going to be better. The question is how much better?

And then when the winter comes again, and it gets cold and nasty and the rest of it. So it's going to wax and wane. My goal as mayor is going to be to try and get our economy fully back within, by the beginning of the third year, like, you know, two years, my administration, I think it's not going to be all the way back. And then hopefully by the third year. Like, you know, two years of my administration, I think it's not going to be all the way back. And then hopefully by the third year. What are your prognostications for it? Now, Andrew said we're not going to get the same level of tourism,

probably, for another couple of years. But do you think the Comedy Center will be able to fill up like it did? And if, you know, in the coming year? Well, I think we will. For the most part, we might be lighter on the weekdays. I think there's two real unknowns here. One is obviously tourists, and then the other is commuters. To what extent will the business that commuters generate change if they're spending even three or four days a week at home rather than coming in. That's exactly right, Noam. What I'm hearing is that they'll spend some number of days in the office. I'm going to try everything I can to make it five days, honestly, because it's crucial to the city.

It's not just those workers. It's the security guards, cleaning staff, food truck operators, retailers, comedy clubs, et cetera, that get business from the commuters. So you can see where my head's at. This is going to be my chief focus is trying to re-energize New York City.

It's one reason why frankly, I'm hanging out with you all. Aside from the fact that I love comedy and I love the comedy seller, but you all are vital to New York City because you all are an institution that makes New York City hip, cool, funny, culturally central. And we have to let people know that New York City is still fun. It's still vibrant. You can still see some of the best comedians in the world. I was just at a club the other day and

freaking, you know, Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock, like just step on the stage and perform and people in the crowd were just like oh my gosh like you know like this is real it's happening that is you yeah you at the Comedy Cellar I mean you had nights like that a number of times yeah but that's also in New York City anyone listening to this only in New York will this stuff happen and we're gonna make it happen as quickly as possible it's probably probably going to happen at the comedy cell in no time. No one wants to clarify that it's more likely to happen at the comedy cell. Mr. Yang.

I didn't even name the club. There's so, there's so much. I'd like to talk to you about it as a small business owner and as an owner of a comedy club. My goodness, if you, if you win and I hope you do, I just dream that maybe i would someday be able to sit down and talk to you about all the issues that i think you'd be interested in to know from the a small business person's perspective what's been going on in new york for when andrew

wins comedy at gracie well i'm saying comedy a comedy seller but we're gonna like i'm going to support your industry personally uh uh, in part, because I do think it's so important and I love it. Um, and no, I'll give you a signal as to where my head is. We're going to declare a moratorium on fines for small businesses for one year, uh, because we need to be helping you all get back on your feet. And if you're, you know, in violation of something to say, Hey, fix it. And not like, you know, uh, like try to tie your hands. Since you said that, that I am, I had this actually written down along that.

You'd be interested in this. You know, what they do quite often is that they kind of treat us like cash machines. They try, they shake us down. So for you, you should not be sources of revenue. You need to be sources of economic growth and jobs. Let me, let me give you like one little example. Like, you know, for, for years it was typical to get served a drink and the straw would have the wrapper torn off like and it's so apparently at some point the health department realized that this was uh maybe unsanitary now no no restaurant owner ever knew or

had any warning that this was um uh not sanitary right so rather than your fiduciary government sending a letter to the restaurant say listen we want you to know that we're not, this is not okay anymore. What they do is they send the inspectors out with marching orders and they fine everybody, but it gets worse. If you have a box of straws where they've all been pre-servicized, they gave you a violation for a hundred straws. No, absolutely is nuts. And I have other stories like that.

That's what they need to stop doing. No, again, I literally run a small business in New York City. And I promise you that kind of madness will stop under my administration. You can tell because I'm already like, look, we're going to have a moratorium in year one anyway until people get back on their feet. That's where my priorities are. I think I'm going to be a different kind of mayor. I think New York's been waiting for it.

And frankly, I think right now New York needs it. Last question. I look forward to seeing you on SNL hosting, by the way. Oh, that'd be great. Best mayor host they've had. Even better than Koch, I think. I presume you've educated yourself on all the data about the anti-Asian violence in New York,

and you've probably read Andrew Sullivan's column about it. And, you know, I've taken a deep dive on it and just seems like the real spike, the biggest obvious spike from the New York City website is actually this past month of March, which kind of like as if almost this thing that happened at the, in, where was the shooting? Atlanta. Atlanta. Catalyzed some sort of reaction here. But are you sure that there is actually a spike? To what extent are you sure that there's a spike?

And what will you do about it? And do you think it's white supremacy? There's definitely a spike, and I've talked to a number of victims personally, some of whom, frankly, I never reported them. And so the incidents are real. I can tell one story that actually, you know, I mean, about a restaurant worker who's just, you know, like, on the way back home and just gets punched in the face for no reason and then is like scared to go back to work for a while.

So that's the kind of incident that frankly is not going to make a headline in the same way as some of the others. resources specifically to anti-Asian incidents and try and build bonds with the Asian American community who frankly, you know, often don't feel any connection to city authorities. But the single biggest thing we can do is get the city back on its feet. Because the fact is, an empty subway car is a lot less safe than a crowded subway car. A well lit street where the, you know, customers are walking around and the restaurants are open is a lot safer than the current one, unfortunately. Like the single best thing we can do is actually get people back. All right.

And I'm not going to push you on the other stuff now, because I don't think it'd be fair to do that when you only have a minute left to stay on. So you once said that being a politician is like being a comedian. Oh my gosh. Like, imagine going to small towns in Iowa and New Hampshire and just giving a talk at a cafe or a community center or someone's living room and just doing that, you know, every night. And you hope that the crowds get bigger and, like, kind of refine refine what you're doing and then you hope people tell other people about you

does this sound familiar you go to parts of the country that you that you know you haven't seen and frankly don't see a lot of different types of visitors so I did this for two and a half years and it's one reason reason i think i i feel some connection to comedians i talk to comedians like amy schumer's endorsed my my mayoral campaign as an example um and you talk to different comedians and they've all seen the country in a very real way because they drove around and you know like just showed up in the dead of night and then slept and then did their show and everything else um so they have a different connection. And I've been joking and saying that I think because of the parallels,

there's going to be a comedian who very successfully runs for office. I don't know which one yet. I talked to them. I like, you know, like it's, so right now, according to Mike Rabiglia and Sarah Silverman, the clubhouse leader in this category is John Stewart well there wasn't the uh president of Ukraine a comedian yes that's what I'm talking about the talents are very very similar I mean a lot of comedians also I've noticed they're just very uh you know uh rational people not all of them, but they can be quite rational. And sometimes, you know, you hear more sense from a comedian than oftentimes from a politician.

Comedians are in many ways the truth tellers of our time in an era when people are desperate for sources of trust and truth. You know, like, I mean, I, you know, I saw Dave Chappelle the other day. Like, I think he's one of the most trusted people in American life, truly. And so if you look at the needs that people have for someone to tell it to them straight, I think Jon Stewart did that on TV for years.

You know what I mean? You know, I think people today, like, you know, there are other comedians that we can all think of. So if you're a comedian listening to this, you may have a future in politics. It's probably not the other way around. Not many politicians are very funny. So, you know, I don't think it's coming. They're not coming to the comedy cellar. Mr. Yang, we're getting, we're getting the signal that we have to let you go. I have, I maybe at some point get to speak to you again. There's a lot of issues. I'll come by the Comedy Cellar.

June 22nd is his primary. June 12th, early voting. Let's go New York City. Let's get our city back. Please do. Please do come by the Comedy Cellar. And thank you so much for joining us on our podcast.

We really appreciate it. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Thanks, all. Thank you. Thank you, Alex. Thank you, Alex. Thank you, Alex.

Appreciate it. So is this running tomorrow? Yes, it'll run on Sirius Radio tomorrow. Put it up on the website tomorrow, too. Put it on the website tomorrow, also. We'll get it up tomorrow. Awesome. Appreciate it.

Looking forward to it. You think it was okay? It was okay it was okay yeah definitely okay i think it was my hair raising moments but i think it was well you know my comment about the jewish community i say tongue in cheek but let's face it we are the people that even after moses led them out of the promised land we're complaining hey i'm part of the tribe i got it i was right there with you and some of them want to some of them want to go back to pharaoh yeah so you know it's all part of the new york city education

what's that all part of the new york city education yeah anyhow alex i'll email you the link when it's up i'll talk to you all right appreciate it thank you and thank mr yang for us please yeah absolutely we'll do it. Appreciate it. Tom, I think that... Yeah, I wanted to... Go ahead, Dan. Sorry. I think it was as good as it was going to be. I think we did as good a job...

That was very good. ...as we could have done. You wouldn't have gotten that from Scott Stringer. What's that? You would not have gotten that from Scott Stringer. Oh, no. We made sure to inject the comedy perspective in there. Cause anybody can ask,

you know, a mayoral candidate, what they're going to do about crime, but not everybody can, you know, related to standup comedy in a way. I like him very much. I wanted to get into him at some point.

Well, that one of my big criticisms of Bloomberg was the way he squeezed the middle class, raising parking fines. He didn't follow through with it, but congestion pricing, like so many things that, and now here we are, we wake up after the pandemic and we're like, uh-oh, you know,

we really do need the middle class to be able to live here. Yeah, definitely. And somebody like Bloomberg was so wealthy, I don't think he meant bad. He just didn't understand what it meant for like a plumber to get a $200 parking violation, then get his car towed when he's just trying to get to the next job, you know? And we pushed all those people out of the city and now we may need them to

come back. So, um, Well, I mean, we'd love to do something other comedy seller too. So maybe, I tell you the guy's adorable. I don't know if that's an appropriate thing to say about a mayoral candidate, but let's face it. I want a Yang Gang sweatshirt. I'll take a Yang Gang t-shirt. Don't ask for swag.

What's the matter with you? I need something to wear to the gym. I will buy you a Yang Gang t-shirt, Curiel. One match. Alright, Alex, thanks. So Perry, we're going to do. One max. Yeah. All right. All right, Alex, thanks. So Perry, we're going to sign off now, right? Okay.

Hey. Well, Alex can sign off and we can wrap. All right. Thank you. Bye, Alex. Bye. Perry, I'll make sure to cut out the last part where you offered the room because it's not going to look right.

Yeah. And you're going to have to edit the video part yeah i'll edit the video well i thought that went rather well send it to me tonight i'll just call it as uh as we could have hoped for dan what were you thinking what was i thinking what and then the jews he can't he can't laugh along and he would just ignore it but it would be a funny moment yeah it was it was quite a moment. I mean, we got to spice it up a little bit. Hey, podcast at ComedySeller.com.

And the Comedy Seller is back open. What's the website? ComedySeller.com? Yes, Dan. ComedySeller.com. Hey, I never go to the website. But ComedySeller.com. Well, I don't have to, you know. But we're back, baby. Okay.

And I'll be there Friday night at the ungodly hour of 5 p.m., which, you know, it's a little early for a comedy show, but I'll be there. I'll be there and I'll bring my A game, even though basically it's, you know, broad delight. All right. All right. So long, everybody. Bye-bye.

Bye.