The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Nick Di Paolo Comes to Town

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

Nick Di Paolo, Keith Robinson and Gilbert Gottfried

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Comedy Solo show here on Sirius XM Channel 99, the comedy channel. My name is Noam Dwarman. I'm the owner of the Comedy Cellar. We're here at the back table of the Comedy Cellar. I'm here as always with my good friend, Mr. Dan Natterman. Hello. We actually became friends on the show. We didn't used to be good friends. Is that accurate? I didn't consider you a friend. Were you invited to my wedding?

Yes, I was at your wedding. But I don't remember. He's a best man, no? I don't know if the wedding was pre or post podcast. I think it was pre. The wedding was pre. So I guess we were friendly enough for that. Well, there were very few people who weren't invited.

But anyway, we have as our guest, of course, and our producer, Perja Ashton Brund, is here. Wow. Yeah. She's also a comedian. Did I see her grandfather on the History Channel bossing around Jews? No, she is a Jew, but... Oh, really? We have as our guest...

Nick DiPaolo has four one-hour specials including the recently released A Breath of Fresh Air, the aptly released A Breath of Fresh Air. He'sly released A Breath of Fresh Air. He's been featured on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, the Comedy Central roast. He currently hosts the Nick DiPaolo Show live

every Monday through Thursday. Welcome, Nick DiPaolo. 11 a.m. Eastern. How are you guys? And one of the founding talents of the modern comedy cellar, for sure. Well, that is high praise. This table, I had a lot to throw in.

Absolutely. Well, actually, let's get right to it. Nick is the guy who started the table. Yes. Is that true? That is true. Every time I bring it up, somebody goes, Colin still goes, how do we know that? It's absolutely the truth.

Look at me. I've been on radio 40 years. I got the mic by my balls. How come I can't hear myself? Ow. Well, yes. Well, have you told that story on the podcast before? I don't think so.

Because I'd love to hear it. Well, I lived in L.A. and I came back from it. Literally, the night I moved back from L.A. to New York, I had a set at the cellar. And I was hungry like a young comic. And so I came down and I was standing at the bar with a bunch of the riffraff. And I said to Manny, I said, can't you, like, get a table and reserve it for the comic? I come back. This is why I love Manny, I said, can't you get a table and reserve it for the comedy? I come back, this is why I love Manny, I come back the next

night and there's a table with a reserve for comedian sign. That's amazing. But that's Manny, right? I mean, you're all man. Honest to God, he was one of my closest friends in comedy. Did you know him that Nick has moved

down to Savannah, Georgia? Wait, wait, wait. Well, okay. Want to get to that? No, I think it's really interesting. And you were around, though, right? I was around. I was around a lot. You were playing guitar.

I was playing guitar, and I would come down. Smoking a lot of weed. We talk politics sometimes. But yeah, that was a pivotal thing for this. A lot of the things that happen in every successful enterprise are just accidents. Tough crowd came out of the table. Tough crowd came out of the table.

Things like in the olive tree, we have these slate tables that people write with chalk. It's part of the real classic characteristics of the olive tree. This was an accident. We had the slate tables, and a customer says, yeah, you should put chalk on those tables. You're kidding me. I didn't know that. Yeah, and things happen an accident. We had the slate tables, and a customer says, yeah, you know, you should put chalk on those tables. You're kidding me. I didn't know that. Yeah. And things happen by accident, and then they become part of the fabric of what makes you successful.

And every time I'd come down, your father would be drawing a map of Israel from 1967 with the chalk and fighting with Geraldo. That's amazing. And did you always know that you were going to, like, take over? Like, did you love coming down here? Oh, no, I never wanted to take over. I'm not even particularly happy that I did. The place has never been more successful. It's the God's honest truth.

It was not something I wanted to do. You're an artist. You're at heart, no? Yeah, I was enjoying playing music and... Noam's artist credentials are somewhat compromised by the fact that he's well-adjusted. Yes.

I don't know how well-adjusted he is. He's very well-adjusted. He loves being a father. He is... He drinks in moderation. That, to me, is not an artist. That's a good point. There's no torch.

He's not tortured sufficiently to be an artist, although he is technically very good in guitar. But he could do anything. Where'd you go to school? Penn? Penn, yeah. Yeah, he went to U of M. Penn Law School.

Penn Law School. I hate guys like that. I, for years, always didn't talk about being a lawyer because I felt that it hurt my credentials as a tortured artist. Well, if you want to know, and then we'll get on to it, I know I did certain things that were my accomplishments, like starting the Cafe Wah. I mean, the Cafe Wah was around in the 60s, but it had been closed for 20 years.

And we started it fresh and building it up in the places around the corner. But the one thing that I knew is that if I took over the comedy cellar, it would never be my success, no matter what my contribution to it, no matter what I do to it, it's still my father's thing. Your dad's shadow, you feel? My dad what? You're living in your dad's shadow as far as business. Yeah, so it's not my creation.

I know, but you came up with the Israeli salad with the feta cheese. I mean, some really... I mean, the profit margin on that alone is just... But it's really easy to take something that somebody created and run it into the ground. I mean... No, I'm not saying that I didn't... And even here, I mean...

You're like Donald Trump. Admit it. You're like Trump. You took a, and you turned it into, it's never been more successful, Noam. Yeah. Oh, I thought you,

I forgot. I'm used to people saying, you're like Donald Trump, that it usually, I'm used to that being like a real between the eyes insult. Didn't even occur to me you meant it.

That's why I left this fucking city. Fuck them anyways. So, so I didn't want that, but I'll say this and we'll get on that. What it has allowed me is to be a lot of time with my kids. The other things I was doing wouldn't have allowed me.

So, you know, I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Okay. So Nick DiPaolo, I didn't even know you moved down. Don't say it. They don't want the name of the town, Mitch. Didn't you just say it? Didn't I say it? You just said it. I thought I... Danny, did you say it? Okay just said it. Didn't I say it? You just said it.

I thought I. Oh, Danny, did you say it? Okay. We can beep it out. I live in the Georgia area. Live in the Georgia area. And I had no idea. A lot of people had no idea.

Yeah. I snuck out. I knew because these guys won't move the night that we record for anyone. But when I said you were coming in and the only night that you could do it was not the night we usually do things, they said, oh, it's Nick. Okay. So why did you move? I wanted to be around people who had their heads on straight politically. Is that true?

I mean, it seems like that's part of it. You know, I lived in Westchester County, very liberal. I mean, I live four miles from Hillary's house. And what happens is you start getting paranoid i mean people know me a little bit when i go to the doctors i get recognized or whatever so but but it starts to you know they hate people like me and how i vote and and i would start getting paranoid if the cable guy didn't call me back in five minutes like that motherfucker's a liberal he's seen my material and then i do it my dentist and then i get kicked out of my

gynecologist and i youologist. There's a lot of options for conservative towns other than Georgia. I mean, they're certainly closer. I mean, I assume Dutchess County they vote Republican. Where's that? Way up? Dutchess is just like one county northwest of it. Maybe two. It's Rhinebeck.

And there's other places, I'm saying. There's tons of people in New York. Yeah, I want to drive from Rhinebeck to the Comedy Cellar. It took me an hour and fifty. But why George is the point with all the other options, I'm saying. There's tons of people in New York. I want to drive from Rhinebeck to the Comedy Cellar. It took me an hour and 50. But why George is the point with all the other options? I'll tell you why. Me and my wife went down there like 10, 12 years ago and loved it. I don't know if you guys have been there before or whatever.

It's like 1958 only. Don't jump on me. Racially, it's integrated. It's what this country should be. Black and white people. You see all the black and white people having dinner together. It's what this country should be. Black and white people, you see all the black and white people having dinner together, and it's just a different feel.

We had the doorbell ring the other night. A couple girls show up like 10 years old. They have brownies and cookies for us because they saw the moving truck a couple days prior. I mean, where does that happen? No, it doesn't happen anymore. People walk their dogs and wave to you, and like I said, it's a nice racial mix.

It's more black than white. I hate to break, you know, my reputation. Do they know you there? Huh? Nobody knows me there. No. Not a soul. But you know what the closing deal was?

But they will. You know what the closing deal was? The airport. You know, Norm, I used to come down here. I'd be out of my mind because of the traffic. Yeah. I'd be on the Sawmill Parkway. I lived 38 miles from here and would take me an hour and 20 minutes some nights. And I'd be out of my mind because of the traffic. Yeah. I'd be on the Sawmill Parkway. All right. I live 38 miles from here and would take me an hour and 20 minutes some nights and I'd

be out of my tits. So I go down there and I don't have a comedy club logo, but the airport is 19 minutes from my house. I found a 2,000 foot square studio to do my show from three and a half miles from my house. And, you know, at this age, I'm about convenient living. I get that. You know? And so let's, but is it the case that, I mean, you really,

you're a right-wing guy, and you weren't going to budge, and things have never been less fair to someone who wants to express a different opinion right now, and you don't want to break open your head in New York after a certain... I know you complained to me that you'd go on and tell your jokes at the cellar. And even if 80% of the crowd was with you, if 20% are just being prickly, it kills the whole thing for you.

And you're not that great at letting things roll off your back. Let's be honest. Andy, do you agree with that? And I don't blame you. But that's why I loved your old man, too. There was nights down here. Remember, you sat me down. I've been coming here for 20-something years.

And then one night, Mike, probably, what's it, eight years ago, 10 years? You said, Nick, you sat me down. Your dad had already passed, I think. But you said, look. No, was he still around? No, he passed. But you said, you know my dad loved you. You said, you know I love you because you stick your thumb in the eye of political correctness.

He goes, but you're making it hard on us now. And I didn't argue when I owed it because there was nights where I would leave here feeling bad about me losing my temper on stage. But, you know, look, I'm behind enemy lines. I just walked through there a few minutes ago. Tom Papa was on stage. And I go, Tom, how are you? We had a little exchange. And he goes, the great Nick DiPaolo. I heard two people clap.

Can I say something? Wait a second. So are you doing the club? Are you doing the club scene down south at all? I'm doing theaters. I do. You know Tommy, Nicky, my manager, the big Italian that sits over there in the corner? I'm doing theaters. I do. You know Tommy Nicky,

my manager, the big Italian that sits over there in the corner? I don't know. You haven't met Tommy? I probably know him by sight, but I didn't know he was down there.

He's been coming down here how many years now? He can come on if he wants. 6'5", 360 pounds. He went to Penn State. Literature major. Sicilian and Jewish. I didn't even hit it off with him.

I met him up at his club in Albany, Saratoga Springs. Didn't hit it off the first couple times we met. I didn't even hit it off with him. I met him up at his club in Albany, Saratoga Springs. Didn't hit it off the first couple times we met. I thought he was ripping me off. So anyways, I don't even remember. Do you remember how me and Tommy hit it off finally? I don't even remember. He shows up last spring.

Says, I want to do a Nick is Right tour. Shows up with a spreadsheet of all the counties that Trump won I go that's more thought you put more thought into my career than all my managers combined in 30 years so he puts that together I said I only want to do theaters

I don't care if they're small next thing I know every weekend he's getting me at a theater the Nick is right tour went on for about 2 months Friday night one show next night within a theater. The Nick is Right tour went on for about two months. Friday night, one show. Next night, within driving distance, another show. Nick is Right. I have never seen anybody like this guy in my life. He goes to, listen to this,

he goes to radio stations, terrestrial radio stations, that are losing money, right? They're like a dinosaur. So they have a lot of free ad space. And what they do is run PSA announcements. So he goes to the stations and said, instead of running PSA announcements, I want to plug my live gigs. I'll give you a buck a ticket for every ticket I sell the gigs.

But you let me have the way you guys are running PSAs. He even gave him a little money, but whatever. Have you ever heard anybody do that? He takes comedians who are washed up from the 90s that were kind of famous. He'll put three of them together. And he says, I'll pay you a salary of $120,000 a year, but you have to do like 200 shows for me. He puts them on a salary. Yeah.

Have you ever heard of such thinking? I don't know the business, but it sounds very enterprising. Well, for sure. As a manager. Sounds like the Colonel Tom Parker. Yes. Most managers. Rocking ho.

Anyways. Most managers don Rocking ho. Anyways. Most managers don't do a lot. They expect you to do everything, and then they're perfectly happy to take their 10 or 15%. This guy, I have never. I said, look, we need social media, right? So what he does is he, you want to go sit over there so I can do my interview? Thank you. I need social media help.

So he goes out and finds it. He goes finds some guys that are very good at social media and lines it all up. You know what I mean? Meanwhile, he opened a club in Vegas at the Plaza Hotel. But Noam doesn't want to hear that. A comedy club? That's right. I forgot.

Is he here right now? Yes. You have to meet him. I'll go get him. He can come on the air if he wants. I don't know if he doesn't. I'll go get him. Well, Perrielle can ask.

He's Sicilian and Jewish. He's 6'5", 360. He's the scariest. He's so nice. Go get him. I just want to say something. No, just get him. Well, let me say something.

Go ahead. This is for your consideration. I am so left wing, and I love you, and I think you're so funny and so smart, and I don't think it's true that it's just the politics. No, you're right. I don't think it's true that you can't appreciate or laugh. Well, but you're an old school lip. You're a lot more tolerant than these young progressives who fucking want to hang me.

No, but she's an idiot. That is so fucking rude. She is so left wing, Nick. This is my manager. He is big dude. Sit down. If you want to. You're not obligated. Tommy, you want to sit down? This is Tommy from Saratoga. Tommy, Nicky, my manager,

agent. He's a perfect combination of Jew and Italian. Sicilian and Jewish. He's got the business sense, but also the... I don't know. That's the only thing Nick remembers about me. Is your mom Jewish or your dad Jewish? My mother and Jewish. He's got the business sense, but also the... I don't know. That's the only thing Nick remembers about me. Now, is your mom Jewish or your dad Jewish?

My mother's Jewish. So he's a Jew. But I was baptized. That doesn't matter. All right. So were you responsible for this Breath of Fresh Air special? No, no. That was me putting it together.

And it was me who said, let's put it out there for nothing. So I have a little Jew in me. It was him who said, hey, let's move it up by 10 days and reschedule the theater and tell all the people to come out. And he does. I called him because I was anxious to get this out there. And I said, I'm going to take a show. He's going to tell me to go shit in a hat.

I go, can we move it up 10 days? I'm thinking he's going to say no. 24 hours he texts me, done. This is the nice part of the relationship. Two or three years from now when it all goes bad, I want you guys to think back and remember how warm we felt about each other. Here's why it works, I think. The first time I actually sat with Nick at his house, we sat in his kitchen.

I said, look, here's the deal. I'm not a fan. I want to make money. That's what he said. That's good. I'm not a fan. I want to make money. I said, just tell me what we got to do and what we can't do.

He said, I don't want to get up and do press before noon. He says, I don't want to ever do a late show Friday again. And I don't want to fly unless I'm going to make real money. But you saw that he had commercial potential that other people didn't see. He saw me as a brand. That's the Jew in him. And what's the Sicilian in him? Is your brains or your signature on his contract?

Yeah, I was going to say. We collect for everything. Nick DiPaolo plays this clone. You know, there has got to be, for a comic that has the balls to be out there with his conservatism, there's got to be a treasure trove out there. Yes and no. You would imagine, because nobody but nobody is doing it, or very few are doing it. We've got a lot of rooms passing on us.

Well, can I say something else about Nick? Is that right? Here we go. Yeah, but the Pete, are doing it. We got a lot of rooms passing on us. Can I say something else about Nick? Is that right? Here we go. So you probably know this, but it should be said. Nick DiPaolo is one of the most revered comics there is.

On an average comedian dinner, more Nick DiPaolo lines are quoted than virtually any other comedian. The greatest comedians in the world, like from Louis to Colin Quinn to Robert Kelly. Why are you laughing?

I'm not laughing. To Keith Robinson. I mean, everybody all coming from different angles. Nick is something they can all agree on. So, yeah, you had a very all coming from different angles, Nick is something they can all agree on. Yeah. So, yeah, you had a very talented kind of underrated product to be selling. Underexposed.

Underexposed. Well, he's worked for me for a dozen years. It's never a matter of being funny or not. It's just a matter of, you know. Nobody know me. Well, he doesn't put himself out there. So people go, oh, I remember Nick DiPaolo from when he did Howard Stern. Oh, I remember Nick DiPaolo from when he did Tough Crowd.

Or I remember Nick DiPaolo from when he did this or did that. But there's literally been nobody advocating business-wise behind him for a long time. Underrated wasn't the right word. And underexposed is not what I'm trying to capture. It was interesting. It was similar with Geraldo. Even though Geraldo had become very famous in a way, that people who knew Geraldo knew that what we knew was best about him

was not what people were seeing on those Comedy Central roles. That's right. And that's something about what I felt was always going on with Nick, too. The way we knew him somehow was not ever being captured when he was being seen in public.

I felt that way. I don't know what the word for that is. In a lot of conversations I've had with comics where they talk about what they really like about Nick, I think at some point in a lot of careers, you get pulled towards, am I going to do this a little different than I might want to because there's going to be dollars that way? Am I going to let somebody else tell me how I'm going to do my special? Am I going to let somebody tell me how I'm going to do my 10 minutes on Letterman? And Nick, probably one of the reasons he hasn't been at that forefront financially is because he doesn't dance.

And a lot of comics, when you sit and you talk about these guys quoting Nick or talking about Nick, we talk a lot about not being a hack. We talk about not doing it strictly for the dollar. So is there a brand there? Is there something to market? Yeah, but it's because we're not putting a square peg We talk about not doing it strictly for the dollar. So is there a brand there? Is there something to market? Yeah, but it's because we're not putting a square peg in the rattle. The world has come around to what he does instead of him trying to come around to the world and fill in that gap.

Well, besides him, Trump, him and Trump are the best things that happened in my career. Honestly. Keith wants to get in there. Come on, man. Come on, Keith. Come on, Keith. Yeah, Trump was... Well was Well go ahead you explain why This is so typical black guy stepping on my heat

You know I But I have so much trust in him I will let him Not Trump we're talking about your manager About my manager Tommy I will let him fiddle Get close to the flame. For years, you know, oh, my manager's an agent.

So you've got to do this. You've got to smile, that type of shit. But Tommy said to me, like he said when we first met, I'm not a fan. I'm here to make money. Every agent, and Dan, you probably know this, every agent blows smoke up your ass, right? Keith, oh, you know, big fan. They're yes people. Tommy, that was so refreshing when he says, I'm here to make a fucking buck. And he's made so many good decisions on my behalf. I actually let him.

I've actually, you know, some artistic questions. And I've never done that with anybody because I'm convinced I know what I'm doing. But I've never done that in my career. But if he says, look, he goes, we look at your most viewed YouTube videos. And he lists three reasons why they're the highest viewed ones. What were they about? It was comedy, anger, and what? Anger, things that are trending, obviously, and being funny.

At the end of the day, your brand is that you're funny and you're angry. Do you happen to lean right? Yeah, you happen to lean right. We're going to grab those people, but your passion comes out in the form of anger. You can put that in people's faces. A lot of people either have it and don't use it or a lot of people just appreciate

being able to see somebody who's not faking it. It was a big deal. We put this special out and Brian Regan goes on Twitter and says how much he liked it. Jim Gaffigan. These guys are icons. Billy Burr sent me a text saying this special is good for stand-up. goes on Twitter and says how much he liked it. Jim Gaffigan. These guys are icons. I mean,

and, you know, and Billy Burr sent me a text saying, this special is good for stand-up right now. I mean, that means a no McDonald. He wasn't talking about the special, but he saw me on the Dave Rubin report. Norm's my favorite. You did the Rubin report? Yeah. That's how you know I'm moving up. But he, Norm McDonald's my idol,

one of my idols. My favorite comic, maybe, ever. And he said, he called me a legend on Twitter. That meant more to me than doing all the Lettermans and Tonight shows that, you know,

when people on Twitter, the haters come out, you're a hack, blah, blah, blah. I go, yeah, you don't like me, but Norm Macdonald, Louis C.K. Attell,

Billy Burr do, so, you know. Terrific. By the way, do you answer your Twitter? No, he kicked me off it. He saw me get on it one night and started pissing people off. We have a whole group

of people who are trying to take Nick down so they'll try and find tweets that are six years, eight years old and report them to Twitter to try and get him kicked off. Literally, at the 11th hour, we pulled everything out. I said, Nick, get off Twitter. Just get off it altogether. Every time I go to check just to see what the clips

that they're choosing for my show. He convinced me to get up at 6.30 in the morning now. My show's at 11 a.m. I have to get up at 6.30 in the goddamn morning. That's how much I trust him. How'd you convince him? There's more money if he's on the air from 11 to 12.

Exactly right. Glenn Beck's going to run up until about 10 or 11. People will stop listening. Lim if he's on the air from 11 to 12. Exactly right. So, you know, I mean. Glenn Beck's going to run up until about 10 or 11. People will stop listening. Limbaugh's going to go from noon on. Then Hannity's in the afternoon. So you can compete with Hannity and Limbaugh, or you can do your own thing and try and change when and how people watch and listen.

And I'm not as conservative as those guys. As you guys know. And more importantly, he's going to be done on Thursdays by noon. He can get on a plane and do a Thursday, Friday, Saturday. This dude is like the Karl Rove of right-wing comedy. That is like a great, that is actually a great comedy. I don't even know his politics either. Can we talk somewhat about that?

What are your politics? I am a registered Democrat. That sounds like a dodge. But I actually. Said the lawyer. No, no. You agree with Nick on things? I agree with Nick probably 51% of the time. There you go. That's not good. No, no. You agree with Nick on things? I agree with Nick probably 51% of the time.

There you go. That's not good. It's perfect. As long as you both agree that you both want to make money, then that's really all. Look, it's not all peaches and roses. I get some, you know, these nasty text messages still at 6 a.m. or 11.30 at night.

Is that from Nick? Oh, yeah. Nasty? You never see me nasty, John. The only time I get nasty is the first time I worked your club ever up in Albany, and you fucking won out of 2,000 emails they said Nick mailed it

in that night, and you sent it to my... You remember that. You sent it. You're goddamn right. I fucking hated you. Sent it to my agent. And then I thought I had a bonus coming like the next time I played your club. Did you mail it in my agent and then i thought i had a bonus coming like the next time i played you did you mail it in i never have i ever met you've seen me a million times keith have i ever mailed in a set my if anybody gets emotionally involved i'm like springsteen yes i do can i say my my pet peeve with all the comics nowadays yeah is that they are taken a side. You know, left or right.

Comics come in and we try to find that one thing that's going to piss everybody off. Like, I don't want to take a left or right side because the left is full of shit and the right is full of shit. As long as you're being honest. Everybody wants what they want.

All right. I think you should take a side if it's honestly... If it's honest. But here's the point. I'm a comic. I don't give a fuck I think you should take a side if it's honestly honest. But here's the point. I'm a comic. I don't give a fuck. But you should give a fuck, Keith, because there's a side trying to shut you down in me.

No, no. But I'm saying that's on the left and the right. No, it isn't. The right's not trying to shut anybody down. Yes, it is. Who? The right want what they want. The left want what they want.

So if I take that one side, I'm not taking no side. I'm only looking at what's right. So you think I have never gotten an email from anybody complaining about somebody being, that somebody should be banned because they were too left wing. Too liberal. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about, it's a lot of shit. I see the bullshit on the right and I see the bullshit on the left.

But Keith, Keith, Keith, are you saying... Like, you hate Donald Trump. I can't... Can't stand him. I think he's one of the dumbest men I've ever seen. Okay, but so do you say that on stage? And if not, why don't you? It's too easy.

No, no, no, he would. No, right. But of course it is, like you said, it is too easy. But what I'm saying is Trump, like, in Vegas, almost got in a fight. Right? What a shot. This is real shit. With a white girl.

No, no, no. At 3 a.m. in my room. No, no. Yeah, well, yeah. We said tips not included. No, with a big white dude and his mom. The mom was like, oh, you're talking about the cops. You're talking about Trump. I don't say a lot was like, oh, you're talking about the cops. You're talking about Trump.

I don't say a lot about Trump. No, you don't. But she said, yeah. And with that, I'm like, wait a minute. You got to relax. You act like Trump is the last white president. There's going to be more. There's going to be more white presidents. Stop acting like he's the last. He's just, you know,

he's failing at what he does because he just... He's failing. Fighting words. He's failing, yeah. Stop acting like he's the last. He's just, you know, he's failing at what he does because he just... He's failing. Fighting words. He's failing, yeah. I'm too argued. I'm not going to fight. No, no, no. What I'm saying, it's like... Fighting words for Nick. Do you know why he won? Because of the left. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. No, as a club owner, you get... Nick goes on stage, does his thing. You get a shit ton of emails saying that this guy was offensive. He's a right wing. Not a shit ton, but a regular trickle. A hypothetical situation. Can I finish?

Well, let me finish my question here. Your question is, we got it. No, my question is, know him as a lover of Nick's comedy, but also as a lover of making money and not pissing off the audience. What do you say to Nick? In a hypothetical situation where he's got a bunch of new jokes

and everybody gets pissed off. I usually... Want me to answer? No. The only time I ever said anything to Nick was the time he... They talk about where he went at a customer personally with some...

Was really mean to her. But if people are just offended by his humor, I... I thought it was zesty. I try to make sure he doesn't know about it because I don't want him to get thrown off. If I see what they're complaining about, I'm like, well, listen, that's his shtick. That's comedy.

Yeah, then I say, fuck it. That's comedy. You're an old man who always had my back. But at the end of the day... I don't like to tell you about it. I don't want it to get in your head. I'm glad you didn't know. But that's exactly the reason why I don't tell you when a room says, no, we're not going to put him on stage because of his politics.

We don't have to have that conversation. So those fucking just left his fuck stains. What do you mean? What are you in denial? Wait a minute. I just told you the guy on the right got mad about what I said. So what? About Trump.

Don't try to compare censorship from the left and the right. But that's the same thing. Okay, one... If you don't know... For every one black comic that gets in trouble, there's 78,000 white conservative ones that get in trouble. See, but... You're talking about when you played The Cellar in Vegas?

I don't want to do that, yes. I know you do. I don't want to play that color game. I want to play the real game of censorship. Which is coming from the left. Not one of those people complaining about you brought up your politics. Huh?

No, I'm saying after what you called, they were mad that I was talking about cops and that I was talking about Trump. And I get a lot of that. Yeah, I believe that. That's censorship. At the end of the day,

an audience is complaining. That's complaining. No, no, no. If you don't want somebody to say something, that's censorship. No, it isn't. If they don't let you go on. Keith, Keith.

Keith, Keith. What you're doing, let me tell you what you're doing, Nick. You're picking and choosing what can be censored and what can't. You're not listening, man. If they say you can't play a club because you're politics, that doesn't happen. No, no, no.

They say you can't play the regatta talking about Trump. No. They say that. Well, they're... Okay. Okay. See, look. I'm a free Indian.

That's censorship. Either you're for censorship or you're not. No, that's censorship. See, I'm for censorship on your side and on my side. Have you been watching the news and watching YouTube? I shouldn't bring up the news. That's not relevant. No, as a club owner,

I mean, you know... Get this black guy out of here. I didn't invite him. No, as a club owner, I assume you respect the club's right to say to a comic, you're not for our room. Yeah, of course. But I just want to say a few things. There's one thing for somebody to be offended by your joke, anti-Semitic joke, whatever it is.

It's another thing what they do on the left is to try to mobilize a mob to then take action against you. Boycott, get the club to stop using you. Whoever it was in Vegas that didn't like you, they told you what they thought about you. No, no. But they didn't try to go on Twitter and rile up Pete Robinson. No, no. They do that, too.

They do that. They might do it, too, but they didn't have it in your situation. And the thing with Laster in Vegas, the comedians were told, I'm not defending what happened, they said, do not talk about politics. Don't talk about Trump, meaning don't talk about Trump. But the difference is- Trump is not censorship?

No, no. That's not censorship? No. Hear me out, and then you can decide whether you want to call it censorship or not. The person who said that to him didn't give a shit about what he said about Trump. It wasn't like, we don't want you to say- It was just this, they knew the audience was not going to respond kindly. It wasn't like, we don't want you to say... It was just, they knew the audience was not going to respond kindly.

They didn't come for that. Let me give some more information now. Censorship usually has to do with a viewpoint favoritism. Before you keep talking, let me give you some facts. Hey, Gilbert. Gilbert Gottfried. They had Wanda stop working

at Bogota because of Trump jokes. All right. That is censorship. Did I stand corrected? But again, Noam, as a club owner, you're a businessman. You're putting people on stage that you think the audience is going to like. So where do you stand on making decisions based on that? Look, I went through it with Louie.

But I'm asking you, Dan, what does it have to do with what I just said? My point is I believe a club owner has a right to book who he wants and not book who he wants, and I believe a comic has... You want me to believe that Juan Desaiz gets the same resistance as I or Steven Crowder? Do you know Gilbert Gottfried? I know Gilbert. He came on the Nick and Artie show

and Artie wasn't there. He didn't say two words to me. I just said, I just told you what happened after Bacardi. Let's ask Gilbert. Okay. Let's ask Gilbert. It's not going to ruin our career.

I would like to focus on our special guest Nick. Let's ask Gilbert because Gilbert's gotten... Gilbert's been through it. You want to ask him? What do you want me to ask him? About what you're talking about. Well, I don't know Gilbert's politics. No, it's not.

They're talking about. Nobody knows Gilbert's politics. All we know about Gilbert is. Is that wine, Gilbert? He collects shampoo. I love it. They're talking. Yeah.

No, they're getting rid of that now. Getting rid of what? Shampoo? Yeah. They announced it today that hotels are getting rid of those little bottles. Just the white ones. Of shampoos. I thought of you this weekend, Gilbert. I took two rolls

of toilet paper from a hotel in Chicago. You Jews. Do you have one with you? Not because I'm cheap, mind you. I just hate when you run into toilet paper. I'm with you on that. I just hate when you're running a toilet paper. I'm with you on that. So I'd rather just have the toilet paper.

I try to still... We were talking about the modern era and whether comedians are getting more and more censored and more and more worried about saying the wrong thing and more and more repercussions for saying the wrong thing. You've had some experience with that. Do you have any comments on it? Are things different?

Thank God I never lost work out of it. That's why I love Gilbert. A pioneer, man. Yeah, Gilbert. He would say what he wanted to fucking say. What was the app lock thing? That cost a few bucks, right? Did you vote?

I know you're not going to tell us who you voted for, but did you vote in the last presidential election, Gilbert? No, I actually didn't. I actually, I don't even have a... You're a citizen. Yeah. He was busy that day. He was at a steakhouse stealing mints.

Yeah. No one didn't vote either, by the way. Yeah, no one surprised me with that. That, to me, is cowardice. I know he says it doesn't matter. It would matter, because he was going to vote for Hillary in a blue state. I would have voted for Hillary, but in New York, it's such a waste of time. Well, why is it a waste if you're voting Democrat?

It's not. In the way. No, you're going to win. I get your point. It's definitely a waste for me, but I did it anyway. I just feel like I like being part of the process. Exactly. You know, and... The purple finger. You dip your finger in. I don't feel

that way. What do you know? You went to UPenn, you Ivy League fag. If we get on topic about censorship... Yeah, go ahead, Keith. I do want to get to a breath of fresh air, too. What I was saying... Go ahead, man. What I was saying is censorship goes both ways.

Wait a minute, but you're so stuck on the left and the right. It's like, no, everybody does a little censorship. Everybody. Okay, Keith, but it's not all equal. Everything's relative. Kicking guys like me off Twitter and YouTube for a joke does not happen to a fucking left-wing comic. It just happened to a left-wing comic. Oh, okay.

For one, I'll give you ten. Who was it? I don't want to go vote for vote, but either way. It's not equal. It's not equal. You're wrong. No matter what I'm saying, it's wrong. You keep talking about equal.

I'm saying it's wrong either way to do it. It don't have to be equal. You got to go. You're going to equal. I'm saying it's wrong either way to do it. It don't have to be equal. You got to go. If you're going to go with the right, you got to go with the left, too. I am. Right. I made that point. I'm not arguing that point.

I'm arguing right now there's a certain type of comic that's feeling much more censorship than another type of comic. That's all. It's all wrong. Yes. All the comics a real censorship. Let me give you two different scenarios. One scenario, and I would compare this to a certain, could be at a comedy club. Comedians getting up there and telling jokes from the left or the right, whatever it is,

and it's offending a lot of people in the audience. It's bad for business, and the owner says, you know what, we don't need this here. This is not good for business, and they censor the comedians. Yeah, that can happen to anybody, but there's another type of censorship where— And that's a total hypothetical. And that you would do. Hold on. Tucker Carlson—

Hold on. Tucker Carlson, let's say, on Fox News says something that his audience loves. Whatever, five million people that night watch it, they all like it. Someone who doesn't watch his show will get wind of it. And try to boycott. And then try to use that to hurt him, to get him boycotted, to damage him.

That's quite different. They weren't watching the show anyway. They're not reacting as customers of the show. They're trying to bring powers to bear to censor him because they have an agenda the opposite of his. That, I think, is what Nick is talking about.

Let me tell you what I'm talking about. Is that a fair difference? Absolutely. What I'm talking about is that's happening. Do you understand my difference? I understand the difference. That's what happened with Louis. It wasn't the people who were coming here to see Louis who were complaining. It was people who weren't going to come to the Comedy Cellar anyway

who were trying to bring powers to bear on us so we couldn't let him perform. What's her name? Omar. Ilhan Omar. Is she a left or right? Left. She's left. Far left. How many people are trying to shut her up? I don't think anybody tried to shut her up.

They criticized her, Keith. Let me get out of here. If you're not going to be honest, what the fuck is going on? Is she still a senator? No. A congresswoman? Congresswoman. Is she still a congresswoman?

How did they try to shut her up? What? How did they try to shut her up? They tried to get her censored. They tried to shut her up. People had death threats. People were trying to kill a whole family. Oh, death threats.

I had to buy a gun. Hold on. Can I say about death threats? Jesus, I carry a gun to work. Did you hear today that Jay-Z was talking to the owner of the Warriors or something? Yeah, what happened? And Beyonce was mad? So he was talking to the wife of the owner of the team at the basketball game.

This was on Twitter. And Beyonce was mad. And the wife of the owner of the basketball team was getting death threats. Yeah. So it's like everybody gets death threats now. She was getting death threats because she spoke to Jay-Z in front of Beyonce. Wait a minute. The right is trying to shut Ilhan Omar down.

I'm saying it's happening on both sides. Okay. Let's move on's happening on both sides. Okay. Let's move on. We agree to disagree. It's not because I'm... I think there is... Well, we do want to get to Nick's special. I'm...

It's not 85% with Nick on this. I don't think everything you said is wrong, but I think you're missing the big... Nothing I said is wrong. But I don't think... But I think you're missing the big picture, which is that part... A core belief of the left in 2019 is that free speech is a danger.

And that is not a core belief of the right. And that manifests itself in certain ways on the left and does it on the right. What I'm saying is, Sarah Silverman got in trouble for yapping. She's going to lose her career. She's going to lose her career. She's going to lose her career

out of fucking saying something controversial. Kevin Hart got in trouble for yapping. Yeah, he did. What did he say? Everybody's getting in trouble. He got in trouble for the lefty. Yes. You got to put him out.

That's political correctness you're talking about. Everything is still, that's censorship. Right, but that was on the left. No, it isn't. He still has a movie career, Keith. You don't know the that's censorship. Right, but that was on the left. No, it isn't. He still has a movie career, Keith. You don't know the definition of censorship. Tracy Morgan said if his baby was gay, he'd fucking kill it. He has a hit series on TBS.

You think if a Jay Leno or if a Conan O'Brien said that, he'd still have a career? Now you're onto something else. Now you're onto... See, what you're doing, Nick, you're too on the right. You're so on the fucking right. I'm on the truth. No, you're not on the truth.

You are. You're in denial, man. You're in fucking denial. You're so on the right. Like most black people, you're in denial. Right and a left. You're in denial. You're part black.

You got Italian in you. All right, I'll give you that. There you go. Your people raped my people. Instead of the park, they did it on a mop. Can I turn it over to my co-host, Dan Adam? First of all, bring Gilbert in, too, please. First of all, I know that a lot has been said over the years

about Italians being part black. I'm not sure that's true. I think that's... I did the 23 and me. I'm more Irish and English than I am Italian. Is that true? Oh, shit. Well, you had the last name. I'm never going to do the 23 and me, I'm more Irish and English than I am Italian. Is that true? Yes. Well, you had the last name. I had the face.

Do I look like I'm English and Irish at all? No. You don't look like John Turturro. No, I don't. You're not the most Italian-looking person that I've ever seen. Thank God. There's nothing wrong with being Italian, not looking. Italians are... Jews are very unproud of how we look.

And I know Gilbert is made... I remember you... Well, you look Italian. On the Howard Stern show, I used to say all the time, the Gentiles with their good looks. But we're... I'd say this about the Jews, and I don't know what your opinion on our people are.

I have an opinion. I'm going to tell you. Let me tell you. Let me ask you a question. I have a very definite opinion on you. We know what our strengths are, and we know what our strengths aren't. No, you don't. Nobody knows what their strengths are.

People are intimidated by your smarts. That's why you're hated. Not because you killed Christ. Is that why? Not because you... I don't never see... Wait a you... I don't never see... Wait a minute. I don't never see

one Jew in a spelling bee. I see all Indians. That's a good point. We lost... Those are Hindus. They can spell, but they can't do math, and they don't know

how to take 15%. We lost the eye of the tiger somewhere when we left Brooklyn and went to Scarsdale. And then we just kind of got lazy. I defend Israel and you know, like I said, your dad was one of my closest.

He used to give me a ride home every day. He was one of my closest, smartest guys I've ever met in my life. And I've never ever had a problem. I like that you can say Jew. Louis does a great bit on it. Just saying the word Jew. I don't know when Jew is offensive and when it's not. Let me give you a good example.

It's not offensive. Your dad did this. It is offensive. Listen to this. This is my favorite. He's giving me a ride home. I'd be in the passenger side. When he talked to me, he would turn the wheel like this.

He cut off a cab one night. We'd pull up to a red light. The cab driver rolls down his window, right? He looks like a fucking poster boy. Muhammad Atta. He looks like a poster boy for terrorism. And your father goes, you fucking Jew. And the guy

went crazy. And then your father rolls up and looks at me and starts laughing. Like he's done it a million times. But that was a Jew calling another Jew. No, that wasn't a Jew. And that's why he was infuriated. What I'm saying, he could do it.

Yeah, yeah. Like, I could say, yo, you... White cracker. No, you can say the N-word. You can say the N-word. I can say the N-word. Nick said... Nick.

Well, Nick said it. He just said it. A breath of fresh air. Well, I assume we should, you know. Yes. You can say a Jew. It depends what your intention is when you say it. But the word is not all.

No, but like, I came down here from Boston. And in Boston, I guess they were probably saying a derogatory context. But when I first moved to New York, I noticed, you know, people go, oh, he's a Jew or whatever. But in a non-effect, because New York's a lot of Jewish people. But in Boston, it was always, you know, did you just say Jew? No matter what the context was. My father was very thick-skinned. Oh, I said to your father, I go, Manny, and I don't understand this.

I go, why do so many people hate Jewish people? Your dad looks at me, he goes, I don't know, but six billion people can't be wrong. Self-deprecating, funny, you know, and I didn't understand it. You didn't understand it? I didn't understand why Rachel Feinstein, a few years ago, I had lunch with her up in Montreal, and that came up. And I go, I don't understand the hatred for Jews. And she said it was the Christ-killing thing. So I never even thought that.

Nobody really knows what it is. Nobody knows. Larry David said, we are a bit much. Larry David said, yeah. Perfect. Perfectly said. It really is perfect. But I've never had a problem with that.

And, you know, Barry Katz is my first manager. And that didn't make you an anti-Semite? It didn't. I still like him, even though he has a horrible reputation, a stereotypical reputation. But I really, you know, but I really, I always defend, you know, if politics comes up. I like Barry, actually. I do, too. I just couldn't resist the joke. But I didn't understand all the, I don't get actually. I do, too. Hey, man. I just couldn't resist the joke.

But I didn't understand all the... I don't get that. But anyways. Gilbert. Keith, you're black. A lot of black people don't like Jews. Landlords. Was there beef?

It's not that. That we expect the rent paid? That's a... You have a nerve to expect... You're demanding Jews. That's a stereotype. I know. We don't want a lot of Jews.

Well, you need lawyers every day. Jews always stood with us. Oh, my God. That was offensive. Civil rights movement and all that. Yeah, that's true. That's what we said. You guys share a sorrow, you know.

So we don't. But the statistics do show that the black community tends to be more anti-Semitic than other communities. Who told you that? I read it in National Review. Well, that might just be. No, you know who said it? Louis Farrakhan. Come down here to Louis Farrakhan.

I don't represent all black people. Oh, but he has 10,000 people at a rally. Apparently he's done. Well, there's more than 10,000 black people. Well, it's like, okay, 14,000. Living in a one apartment. Listen. Yeah, go ahead.

Nick has a new special out. Yes, Breath of Fresh Air is the name of the special. Approaching 440,000 views on YouTube. Yes. And it's free. You're not charging. No, I'm not. And you're going to see a lot of comics do that.

And I made the decision a long time ago. After my last one, like four years ago, didn't get seen by anybody. I remember saying to my wife, Andy, we're putting this out. I need exposure. I want this on the internet. I remember Rogan chewing me out when I started my podcast that I was charging people. And he said, you've got to put it all out there for free. I said, that's easy coming from you who had $60 million in the bank.

You're still getting checks from Fairfactor. I'm trying to make a living. But he was right. And this special, and we put a real provocative artwork on the cover. And it did, you know, we had 300,000 views in what, two weeks? In less than two weeks. And it's still climbing because people are tired of the PC horseshit. And I've never been PC.

It's not a deliberate choice on my part. It's how I've been large, traditional, you know, and it goes against all of what's going on today. It occurred to me now, just for the first time, somebody probably said this before, but if you look back at the old model of the music business, it was always out there for free as well.

The radio played the songs over and over and over. Imagine if you only could buy the song and there wasn't a place to hear it for free. You wouldn't be able to sell it. So you need both. You need a steady stream of content out there for free, and then you can monetize it somehow. If you have talent and no audience, it doesn't matter. If you have audience and no talent, it doesn't matter.

You can have one show and it's over. But if you have talent, you've got to find the audience. And if that means you've got to give it away for free, you're going to make it back. And ticket sales. Nick Griffin, I tweeted him a direct message because I know he just put a special. He's a solid comic, great comic. Excellent comic. And I said to him, I said, the next one, Nick, I'm just giving you advice.

I said, because you're underexposed like I am. I said, throw it out there. Because it's a new ballgame. People go, why do you live in Georgia? Because I don't need New York City anymore. You can make a living anywhere because of the internet. It's a new ballgame. He came in so laser focused on how to get it done.

Look, I was a marketing major, 2.3 University of Maine. It's the thing I know least about. I always said, if you show me a comedian who's a good marketer, I'll a marketing major, 2.3, University of Maine. It's the thing I know least about. And I always said, if you show me a comedian who's a good marketer, I'll show you a hack and vice versa. But he came in with a plan, literally a two-page thing he sends me, a two-page email, what we're going to do. And we're executing it. I needed this guy in my life to give me some discipline and to get a comic up at 6.30, quarter, 7 in the morning. I believe in this guy. You need somebody in your corner.

And like Colin said years ago, when the industry keeps ignoring you, you need a little love now and then. Gilbert, who does your social media? Bob Levy. Yeah. Oh, you're going to get advice from my social media. Do you have a social media presence? Yeah.

No, No. I don't have a whole group of people. Are you on Twitter? He's got a podcast. He has an amazing podcast. I have a podcast, Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast.

But it's very popular because I see the numbers. He's brilliantly funny Gilbert is a singular talent There's nobody like him There's one Gilbert Have you seen Nick's special

Breath of Fresh Air? No I don't remember The last comedy special I watched Me either Because I watch Comedy special

You know it's typical You heard it's free Gilbert Yeah We send you three Sweeten loaves I watch comedy. You know, it's typical. You heard it's free, Gilbert. Yeah. We send you three sweeten loads. That's what's selling for. We sweeten the special with evil. Hey, it's free.

By the way, Tommy, you have a club in Vegas now? We're going to Labor Day. What the fuck? I forgot all about Manoma's Club. I'm like, yeah, my manager's got a club. I was there when Keith was there a couple of weeks ago. Scouting, huh? No, no. Looking to see good talent, obviously.

All the guys who were there were great. But it's different. It's a showroom. It's run by the casino. It's our name, obviously, and we're helping them to. But it's a showroom that looks like Sinatra will be singing it in 1958. It's downtown. It's not a draw from

elsewhere in Vegas. I mean, I hope it isn't, but I wouldn't be mad at you or anything like that. How long have you been coming down and driving from Albany on Tuesdays and sitting in that corner? A couple years. Two years. He soaks in stuff. How did I not notice this guy?

He looks like a running guy. He was in the kitchen like seven years old working at his dad's comedy club. And he's got a great business mind. Dan came up years ago. I remember Dan from when I was in high school coming up as a hosting or featuring or something like that. Where was I? Was that the Laughing Wolf? Because I bombed my ass out there.

No, no. Further up. That was Bob Wolf's club down in New Paltz. Comedy Works. Yeah, it was a Comedy Works club. I don't recall ever being at a Comedy Works. How come you never introduced yourself. You must have me confused. I met you one time.

Another diminutive. That's not why I'm here. So Nick, on your special, tickle our taste buds. I've seen the special, but for those who haven't, tickle our taste buds with what topics one might hear on the special.

Again, I'm not wholly political. Not yet. But I mentioned the 2016 election. That's when I said I get political. And some of the stories that came out of it. The most popular joke, I think, was Bernie Sanders. I had two good jokes about him. One of them's in the preview.

One of them's in the preview. One of them's in the preview. And Bernie Sanders, this came out during the election, he used to write erotica for a magazine here in New York. Is that true? Yes, he wrote an article, and he said in the article,

when women having sex with their husbands is secretly fantasizing about being raped by three guys at once. And I said, that's how you know he's a real socialist. Even in his rape fantasies, we're sharing the pussy three ways. And then I said, he lost for a couple reasons. It was rigged against Hillary. And number two, he couldn't get the black vote. He could not get the black vote. I kept emailing him, change your first name to Colonel.

Nothing, Keith? Keith? That was funny. That was funny. I love Nick. You know that. Yeah, Keith. No, Keith. He's was funny. I love Nick. You know that. Yeah, Keith. No, Keith.

He's been, and I love Keith. I go after Hillary. Look, and this is who I use as a model. Bill Hicks, who's a left, he was a left winger. He was a lip. But he used to get so hateful when he talked about Rush Limbaugh being, he goes, doesn't Rush Limbaugh look like a gay guy that lays in a tub and lets his friends pee on him and shit? And I took that type

of fucking vitriol and I, you know, applied it to Hillary. And people, it's a different time. Hicks did that 25 years ago. But this is the shit you're going to get.

I really fucking hate liberalism and I think it should be eradicated. But don't you think all of his shit, that's my main point. You keep lumping it all together. It does. It's not all

bullshit. You sound like Patrice. It's not all bullshit. So wait a minute. You think the right is all really good saying good shit? No. Alright then. He sounds like Patrice. Is that what he said? No. I'm saying that it's all bullshit. The left does this. This is what they say.

They always go, it's bigger than left and right. And I say to them, I'd be saying that too if I was on the left today, trying to squelch free speech, kicking Steven Crowder off, trying to make money. They're crushing people for trying to make money on YouTube. Right-wingers. Fucking Twitter made some woman who's a pro-life, famous pro-life woman. They said, you can't put any more ads up that show pictures of sonograms.

Really? Yeah. This is what I'm talking about. That's crazy. Why does Steven Crowder get kicked off? Let me say this, though. I'll tell you what. Can I say this? Because y'all really are not understanding this shit. We get it. I have a friend who's on the left side. Because of her

political stance on the left, they Because of her political stance on left, they threw her off of Facebook. They threw her off. And I'm saying, Keith, and I'm saying that's wrong, number one. But number two, for every lefty that gets kicked off Facebook, there's 150 righties. You can't argue that the people who run the big tech

companies aren't left-wingers. They're not even trying to hide it. They came out and said, did you read yesterday, Vox? It's a webpage, Vox. There's a gay Latino guy on there. He's an activist. He described himself as queer in his profile.

And an activist, blah, blah, blah. This is in his profile on Twitter. And Tucker Carlson is a white supremacist. That's in his profile on Twitter. And Tucker Carlson is a white supremacist. That's in his profile. Now, Steven Crowder made fun of him being gay and Latino. Is Steven Crowder gay? I don't know. It matters. I don't know.

I think he is. Go ahead. But anyways, that's all he did. So this guy, like you said, got a mob together. And YouTube said, well, it's not quite against our policies, what he said. Then two days later, they change their mind. They won't let him monetize. And they went after three other conservatives.

And they said it right, and we won't put up with this alt-right shit. They're the ones, the left is determining... What is alt-right, really? I mean... It's me, I guess. What are the tenets of alt-rightism? Oh, I don't know know You're proud of your country You believe in the Constitution

Protecting your borders You know what? Let me tell you what makes me laugh About all this horse shit that Nick is yapping about Like, I'm fucking with you, Nick But when Donald Trump was running his mouth About the NFL players All that disrespecting the troops

He's damn near pissing on John McCain's grave. He's a troop. He's a hero. Pissing on whose grave? John McCain. Oh, John McCain, yeah. He's a troop, right? He's one of the troops, right?

McCain? Yeah. I'm with you on that. I hated when he said he wasn't a hero. Right. Yeah, okay. I hated that, but I also hated when McCain fucking took it to another level. That's politics.

I know. McCain was just trickling on politics. Nick, in the special, you said you loved Donald Trump as a politician. Yeah. What's your problem?

You've made your point. It's on the left and on the right. No, I didn't make my point. There's censorship on both sides. We get it. Dan, you are the fucking,

you're the worst host I've ever seen in my life. Well, I would like feedback from the... You fuck up fun. We had a little war going on, and you want to say what you want to say that don't have nothing to do with nothing. It has to be... Follow the conversation, at least. But the conversation has run its course.

No. No, goddamn. You stink. Conversation at least but the conversation has run its course Oh dad Kate no he's conversations like a So What Nick when you talk at a following conversation at least I'm following it I have decided that it is run its course. No, but you talk, follow the conversation at least. I'm following it. I have decided that it has run its course. Now, you're welcome to disagree. No, but just please follow the conversation.

But you're repeating yourself. So you don't stop fun. You're repeating yourself. No, I'm talking about McCain. And Nick agrees with you. Because you don't understand. If you don't like me as a host... I hate you as a host. That's fair, and you're entitled to your opinion.

It's not like you. I hate you as a host. You're certainly entitled to that opinion. You know why he hates you? Because your opinion doesn't fit in with his narrative. And that's what they do. They turn it to hate. Who? Who's they? The black and the colored people. I can't find if Steven Crowder's gay.

I could have sworn he was. I met him once. But Keith was instrumental in me getting pegged as a right winger on Tough Crowd. You and I were arguing. But you laughed at this. You were actually in agreement. I went off one night about the commercials and how

white, how husbands betrayed is weak, the women at this. You were actually in agreement. I went off one night about the commercials and how white how, you know, husbands betrayed is weak. The women strong. The black guy has a nice suit on. The white guy in the office is an idiot. And I said that 20 something years ago. Now people are jumping on the bandwagon. And that's when I

got pigeonholed. You were laughing your ass off too because you know it's true. That's when I said Let me say that. Let me say it first. It was true. But I said they're cultural Marxists, these guys that are writing this shit. But Nick, which is special, that's what Dan does.

Yeah, because it's called, you know what, on Tough Crowd, on Tough Crowd, the last time you worked, the last time you worked, which was Tough Crowd, the last time you worked. When you did this special. The last time you worked, which was Tough Ground. You might remember. Dan, I've done more things in one month than you've done in a lifetime.

Shut up. Don't stop. You might remember. You might remember. They had segments. You might remember. They had segments. Let the man talk.

You might remember. They had segments. They had commercial breaks and segments. We don't have commercial breaks and segments. We don't have commercial breaks. Dan, when a conversation is being had, let me tell you how a conversation goes. Hold up. When a conversation is being had, listen.

Just listen to the flow. Either go with the flow or shut the fuck up. Bam. Now you can continue. We have to say goodbye now to our dear friend Mr. Keith Robinson. I certainly do appreciate him stopping by. I do want to say this. I'm not Ray Allen. Keith.

Remember that. Keith. Go, go, go. We have to wind up. I just want to say something because I don't think you dispute this. If anybody were to say something on this radio show that got the comedy seller in hot water, whether it was me or Nick or Dan or anybody, we'll find out after. It could only be something that offended the left. There is nothing

left wing I could ever say. There is no left wing position, including, yeah, I think it's okay to,

even a day after birth, I think it's okay for a baby to be killed. I think that's okay. That, I can say that nobody will do a thing to the comedy cellar.

Nobody's showing up outside. But if I am too strong against affirmative action, it's risky. And that's what Nick is saying. That's all I'm saying. I don't think you disagree with that. I want to make the point because I think

that's where Nick is coming from. You want to know who runs the business. It's Nome's people. The Amish, you know, Keith. You've been in trouble. America should remain a majority white country. True or false? It's not going to happen.

False. No, I would say false. As long as we vet these people, and I'm with Trump on this, and use a merit-based system, and they have to be able to speak English. At some point, assimilation became considered racist to make somebody learn the language. There's only culture holds the... You've just been fired from the alt-right.

Probably. Maybe. I do think that is one of their main principles. I'm not a real... I got labeled. Look, we're in show business. It's very liberal. I've said this to you and your dad.

If you lean right on two of ten issues or two of fifty issues you're labeled a Nazi in show business. But you don't want to be known as alt-right. I don't. No, no.

And it depends what the definition of alt-right is. But they're saying guys like me are alt-right. For Christ's sake Judy Gold's one of my favorite comics.

Oh yeah, that's a fucking alt-right. I think the definition of alt-right if I had to boil it down would be white nationalism. Is that wrong, though? I'm white, right?

I guess. Keith says I'm a little black. But I consider myself white. 10%. And I love this country and believe it is the best thing that's ever happened to this planet. Pulled more people out of poverty. I'm not supposed to say that I'm a white nationalist. No.

No, the word white nationalist has a particular meaning. Well, it... Well, yeah, but over the years it got bastardized. Yeah. Well, what do you think? What is a white nationalist to you? A white nationalist is somebody who's sympathetic to the views of the KKK. Well, that's what it turned into.

So when you say it now, that's what it means. I mean, that's just the way it goes. People are pushing back against that. So whatever it is that you're trying to say, you just have to find a different way to say it now, that's what it means. I mean, that's just the way it goes. Still, still. People are pushing back against that. So whatever it is that you're trying to say, you just have to find a different way to say it. Okay. Well, the other thing I said, how the left controls speech. Like this saying, the left says, a guy like me, if I say the word globalist, it's code for Jew. Yeah, I don't.

And I said, maybe they get a point. I was trying to sell my car to the other guy. That guy was really globaling me down. And that's in the special. And I said, I need a good cardiologist. Is there a globalist in the house? And then, how do you argue with that? That's just a funny joke.

And I gave Sean Hannity, I was on Hannity's show once, and I did this joke. Obama just passed some spending bill. Can you watch your mouth, please? No, Obama, you know, I like to smoke weed with him and play hoops, but he's a fucking moron. But I said this on Hannity. I said, they said, why is he putting so much pork in his spending bill? And I said, maybe he's trying to prove he's not a Muslim. And they read it?

Well, no, Hannity got white, and he went right to the next guest. Now, you know, it's like I got people on the left who loved that joke because they thought I was taking a dig at the right, and I got people on the right who loved that joke because they thought I was taking a dig at Obama. That's, like, to me the perfect joke. But Hannity, my point is, you should have laughed at it. He turned white.

Yeah, he's in a pickle, but, yeah, it's a funny joke. Also, you know, he has a fraction of a second to think it through. And he knows it's the kind of joke which might be fraud. It might, you know. Well, yeah, in his world. Yeah. And the Fox knows which is a brand. That's why I stopped doing Gutfeld.

I mean, you know, this is when it was on at 2 in the morning and nobody's watching it. I got away with a lot of stuff. Then he had his new show. And, you know, you say, you can't really do comedy on a brand news network. You know what I mean? You can't say something off color. You find Gutfeld funny?

At times. I find him funny. At times. You find him funny? No. No, yeah, sometimes. I think he's funny. I find Rachel Maddow hilarious.

Is anything more humorless than a fucking woman that's far left? All right. She's smart, though. She is smart. Yeah, she's funny. I find Rachel Maddow hilarious. Is there anything more humorless than a fucking woman that's far left? All right. She's smart, though. She is smart. Yeah, she's brilliant. She fucking, she's brilliant. She had Trump being put in jail.

She had his tax returns. She made such an ass of herself. Wait, wait till Trump is not a president anymore. You watch CNN and MSCF, the fold-up shop, because their ratings for the last two years have been based on Donald Trump. When he goes away, he exposed them. I don't care what you say. You can like him, hate him. He exposed the fucking media for what it is.

Lying left scum. And that's why I like Trump. I hated George Bush, George W. Bush, because every time somebody said something mean, he would turn the other cheek, and that got us Obama. Can I say one more thing? I know.

Is it about Dan? No, there's one more thing. The only thing I, you know, they keep saying Fox does nothing but lie. Yeah, there you go. No, I'm saying. Yeah, they lie. Okay. If they lie, what is CNN doing if they lie?

Okay, I say. You don't watch and know you're trying to get laid and taking your stroke pills. Come on. No, I take two stroke pills a day. That's it. I think you missed one today. What I'm saying is when you take a side, when you take a side, then you take the wrong side. Ladies and gentlemen, we have come to the end of a great hour.

A special thanks to Nick DiPaolo, Gilbert Gottfried, Tommy Nicky. That's your name? Tommy Nicky. Tommy Nicky. My manager, agent? Tommy Nicky. Tommy Nicky. My manager, agent, and all-around bodyguard. I'm going to have your agent fired from you. You're going to send Keith Robinson. I was just trying to go to the bathroom downstairs.

You guys made me sit down. Keith Robinson and my co-host, who will be here no matter what, every week. We don't care what Keith Robinson thinks about his flow. The great Mr. Dan Nanna. He's just got to get a better flow. As funny as. Dan Adams. He's just got to get a better flow. That's as funny as anybody you'll see. He's got to get a better flow. No, he's a fucking killer.

Funny. He's got to get a better flow. Perrielle, you want your... Perrielle? And I'm sorry I called you an idiot. I was just being funny. Goodbye, everybody. Good night.