The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Notre Dame, Billionaires and the Bible

Episode Date: April 24, 2019

Jessica Kirson, Joe Machi and Matteo Lane

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Comedy Cellar Show here on Sirius XM Channel 99. I'm here at the back table of the Comedy Cellar. My name is Noam Dorman. I'm here with my partner, Mr. Dan Natterman. Hello, Dan. How do you do? And once again, questions and comments about the show, please send to podcast.

What is it again? You really can't remember. I forgot. Podcast at ComedySeller.com. Podcast at ComedySeller.com. And for God's sakes, would it kill you to give us a good rating on iTunes? That'll help out a lot because it works into their algorithm. Is that how?

I think so. I don't know. What is the algorithm doing? Well, in other words, like the more people that give you a good rating, the more likely it is to pop up on iTunes recommendations.

I don't know. I'm guessing. We have with us... I heard that on another podcast. Our producer, she's still considered new. I don't know.

Perrielle Ashton-Boo. Is she official on AirTalent? Well, it appears that way. And Jessica Croson is coming? She'll be along. But we have with us right now, I just did an interview, and they asked me who my favorite comedian was.

I told them that this was one of my favorite comedians. Joe Mackey has appeared on The Tonight Show, Conan, Red Eye, and was a finalist on Last Comic Standing. He may be seen regularly at the Comedy Cellar. Thank you, Noam. Thank you for having me. And what he doesn't say there, that Joe was one of the standout performers on This Week at the Comedy Cellar, our Comedy Central show, where he riffed on the week's news. And the show, I just found out, Joe, the show has been...

Officially... Cancelled. No, the show has been officially cancelled. No, the show has been picked up. Oh, nice. Wow, that's great news. That's amazing. Congratulations. Why don't we start off with that, Noam? I think that's an interesting topic of discussion. When last we left off at This Week at the Comedy Cellar

you were saying that you wanted some changes made if it got picked up for a second season. Really? You wanted more say. More Mackie. I want more Mackie. Well, we all want more Mackie, but you also said that you want more say in which jokes get on the air. Yeah, but I don't know if that's going to happen.

That's not between, just for the record, that's not between me and the network. That's internally between me and the people I work with in our production company. Comedy Central has been incredibly okay with almost anything that we felt strongly about what we wanted to give them. Okay, so have you negotiated with the production company? Not yet.

Okay, well, I guess that ends that discussion. I certainly have... Well, and your friend Ray Allen is part of that, so... I certainly have my own ideas of what I'd like the show to go. Go ahead. That's a lot better. That keeps me out of trouble. Go ahead. Well, more Dan Aderman is always good, but that aside, and more Joe Mackey

certainly wouldn't kill us either, but... Can I get a drink? Angelica? I would like to see now the show as you know don't worry Joe we'll talk to you in just a second but the show as you know

is comedians telling jokes about the week's events the tagline was headlines become punchlines headlines become punchlines I don't know who I don't know who wrote that tagline

it's not bad not bad not bad at all I would like to see I don't know who wrote that tagline. It's not bad. Not bad. Not bad at all. I would like to see us more faithfully adhere to that creed. I agree with you. Because I think a lot of comedians told jokes that weren't about the week's events. They were tangentially related to the week's events.

And they kind of, you know, it's like, oh, so this week there was an election. Speaking of elections, I was in my high school election. You know what I'm saying? Speaking of elections, I'm dating this Japanese girl. Right, well... Get it, Joe? Yeah, it got even further from that. I saw some jokes towards the last episode where they had no relation to any

news story. Here's a joke that you can... Speaking of elections, I was having sex with this Japanese girl. That's what I should have said. That's pretty good. But Joe, it's one thing when they say, this is our section where we're going to talk about anything. Right. But when you have a section where you're saying, we're going to talk about this particular

news event, and then you don't, that's more what I'm talking about. Don't not write the whole week and then try to shoehorn in an old bit from ten years ago that wasn't on television. That's what I'm getting at. Now it may be that the shoehorn method is working in terms of

the public. If the shoehorn fits. But I'd like to see it really, even if the joke doesn't kill as hard as a joke that's less related to the news, I would like to personally see. Joe, what are your thoughts on this historical moment of our second season being picked up? I agree with you, because even if the joke doesn't get the biggest laugh,

usually it's not the best jokes that get the biggest laughs. If you go through a show and you watch what jokes kill, a lot of times it's the surface stuff, the stereotypes, the race stuff, the biggest laughs. If you go through a show and you watch what jokes kill, a lot of times it's the surface stuff, the stereotypes, the race stuff, the gender stuff. But if you talk about, if you ask people after the show what jokes they thought were the best, it's the ones that had some meaning to it. So, I mean,

Louie's joke about being on the plane, everything's amazing but no one's happy, that joke didn't kill as hard as some of his other bits, but it had a meaning with people. So if you can make a joke that's about a current event, it might not get the biggest laugh, but I think people respect it, and that'll keep people coming back more.

Well, also, if it says something where you might say, you know what, that's an interesting way of looking at it. Right, right. You know, Joe said something very wise just now, and it's because I usually say that you can't go wrong by, you know, sticking with what gets the biggest laughs. But the truth is that's not always the case, and I've always known this, and I have commented on this in other aspects, in other contexts before. So when we used to have a band, there were certain songs that would get huge responses, you know,

they'd end with a big finish or whatever it was. And then there'd be certain songs that I would want to do which were more interesting, which were a little calmer. And I would sometimes get blowback from people,

why are you doing that song? And I felt in my gut, I was like, just certain, I just felt strongly that it was good. And then, this is what, getting to it.

Hi, Jessica. Jessica Curson just joined us. So then, for instance, we used to do an arrangement of Blackbird, the Beatles song. And sometimes it was hard. Some of the audience would be talking, whatever. So then YouTube came along. And then we were kind of able to see what songs people would record the band doing and like, this arrangement on Blackbird, like 10 to 1

any other song is what everybody was throwing up on YouTube. So it's exactly what you said. It wasn't a song they clapped the hardest, but it was what stayed with them the most and what they felt was the most impressive in a way. Yeah, I think people do respect degree of difficulty too. Let me just,

I'm just going to fill Jessica in. Jessica Kirsten is a one-hour special coming out on Comedy Central, produced by Bill Burr. She has been featured on The Tonight Show, The View, HBO's Crashing. She may be seen regularly at the Comedy Cellar. Joe was on Crashing, too.

I was on Crashing 3. I want to fill you in, Jessica. The news just came over the wire, not more than five minutes ago. Oh, no. Did something bad happen? That this week at the Comedy Central, this week at the Comedy Cellar, is being renewed for a second season. I'm so happy for you guys. Thank you.

That's such good news. I was waiting. I was like, is that coming back or not? That's so great. Well, why not be happy for you? Congratulations, Noam. Because you were certainly a bigger part of that show than I was. Yeah.

Well, I'm, you know, I'm better. But I'm totally joking. I would never say that for real. I think you're brilliant. Just Comedy Central just said that with their actions. But that's okay. No, they put Dan on all the time. No, they put me on three times out of, I think it was nine episodes.

No, it's eight. And that was a lot. Jessica had. But Jessica was on a lot more. That's neither here nor there. I was going to say something about Jessica. Jessica had the one moment on the show more than any other moment, which was what I was hoping the show would have more of, which is when you dealt with that heckler about the Jewish joke and whatever it is. And then you went into that gospel thing, whatever it was.

That was really kind of the spontaneous magic of the comedy seller. That was the one time they really caught it. You were very associated with the success of the show. Thank you. I was so glad they put that in because that's really what happens at stand-up shows. They just

show us telling jokes. That happens all the time. And it was crazy because it was a Jewish person heckling another Jewish person. I was actually shocked by it when it happened. And by the way, behind the scenes, there was all kinds of controversy in the editing room. But you had made a Holocaust joke, right? Was that it? No, I made a joke. Or about Pittsburgh. Right, because that was one of the subjects that was sent to me. But it was about the guy who did it.

It wasn't, of course, about the people from the synagogue. It was about the guy that did it, what I would hope would happen to him in prison. And she got mad at me. It was weird. Just for bringing it up in a lighthearted context. Right. It wasn't, of course, it wasn't towards my own people. It was towards, you know, the killer.

That's why it was confusing why she got upset. Well, I'll tell you what, Norm. I'm also happy that the show got picked up. Less because I'm going to be in it, hopefully. Because I find the show actually quite anxiety-provoking. Every week. Every week. It is.

Every week you're like, is this joke getting in? Is this joke not getting in? And then I say to myself, well, I had a good set, and that's what's most important. But it turns out that's not what's most important, because then when they don't use me, I get furious. And this goes on week after week. But that said, I think the Comedy Central show will be good for this show, live from the table, because it will give us something interesting to talk about. Hopefully, there'll be controversies and confrontations and interesting behind-the-scenes things that go on that we can discuss.

Well, that's true because what Jessica B. and Heckled showed is that there's stakes. When you do stand-up comedy, there's stakes to the performer because it could go horribly wrong. And when you see a TV set, it's so cleanly produced and rehearsed. You often miss out on the stakes and you wonder, why isn't it as good as when I'm in the club? And I think that's why. You don't see the risk to the performer, and it's kind of cool when they actually show that. That's so interesting.

I feel like you never hear people talking about that so much. Joe, I don't know if you know our producer, Perry L. Oh, yeah, we met many times, yeah. Thank you, though, Dan. I appreciate it. Okay. I'm just stalling for time while I'm thinking of my next talking point. And Dan would get upset when you're not being used. You would get upset. That's correct.

I hate that you go there in this business. I do. I wish you didn't have that kind of feeling all the time. I'm so used to being rejected that I don't even... It's crazy. I don't get upset a lot anymore because I'm just used to it. So when something good happens, I'm shocked at that. That's a good attitude.

I have to be that way or else I'll start cutting. It's a fine attitude. I don't know that I can... Are you a cutter? No, but I'm saying I would start... If I looked at every single thing and got upset about every single thing

that I didn't get, I couldn't do this. There's no way. Well, like I said, it's a fine attitude. And I'll try to integrate it into my life, but it doesn't look good. Prognosis. Well, you're brilliant. The prognosis is not good

in that regard. You know, Joe is a man of faith, I believe, and I thought it would be good to talk about the Notre Dame fire in that context. If he was to. Sure, sure.

I was heartbroken. I actually got to visit last year. I did a one-nighter in Paris. They do this one-nighter show. It's a free show in Paris where they just ask for donations. It's a theater. Is that at the Pan Am? I don't remember the name of the theater, but it was French.

I couldn't pronounce it correctly if I even had it written down. But I flew over there, did it. They packed it out. Did not do very well. They laughed when they understood the subject matter. I don't think a lot of people's English was great. But when you go to a cathedral, it's not just a regular church. They have a whole bunch of chapels off to the side.

And each chapel has a sculpture and statue, and there's relics, and it's just a tragedy to think that some of that stuff might not survive, but it seems like they were able to save a lot of the artwork, luckily, and they'll have to rebuild the roof and the spire, and some stuff got damaged.

Now, Joe, you visited Notre Dame. You had the decency not to post a picture of it after this recent fire. I always feel like when people do that, and I know they don't mean anything negative about it, but I'm self-conscious about everything I do, and when I feel like, if a famous person

died and I didn't know them personally, I feel like I shouldn't post about this. If a tragedy happens and I wasn't there, I mean, yeah, I was at Notre Dame Cathedral, but so were millions of other people. So I feel like I'm making it about me. I know that may be stupid, but...

Not only is it not stupid, you are a thousand percent correct. I thought it was utterly, utterly outrageous that people were posting pictures of themselves in front of Notre Dame as if that added anything to the conversation. It would have been better if they put themselves on fire and took a picture.

Well, if they were in front of the building as it was on fire. Right. Running and trying to, yeah. I would say at least that's interesting. But you just standing in front of a building, and I've seen a million pictures of, that adds nothing to anything. Well, well, well. I agree with you, except that was nothing to anything. Well, well, well. Yeah, I agree with you, except that was my first reaction.

But then when I started to see so many of them, I did kind of say, wow, everybody's been to this in Notre Dame. And I haven't. So it was a little... No, it's desperate. It's like every... You just want to make it about you. And I was there. So what? People who ran the Boston Marathon years before

the bombing were saying, oh, yeah, I ran was there. So what? People who ran the Boston Marathon years before the bombing were saying, oh, yeah, I ran that marathon. Wow. This really makes you think. And I said, no, it doesn't. You don't get to have that experience. Retroactive. Anyway, another thing people are saying is that a lot of people are raising money to rebuild this thing.

$600 million. I'm sorry. That's making me sick. I know me too. Well, a lot of people do have that issue. It's insane. I assume because why aren't we raising this kind of money for other things? Is that your...

Well, even give it to Catholic charity. Like something to help people. I mean, that place is... I forgot. There's billionaires donating, what, hundreds of millions of dollars? I don't know. I don't know the facts, so I shouldn't even be speaking, but I know they have a lot of money, and they can raise a lot of money. Well, Noam was saying on the last episode.

The church has the money, don't they? That's what I'm saying, the church. How people are valuing a building more than human life. I mean, that's the point you made on the last. I actually thought that too. I felt that way. Which is to say that a building is of no importance. No, I was just thinking philosophically

about how you weigh something as priceless as an ancient, not ancient, but as a historic thing, like no drama against one baby's life. Like, you know, would you, would you? Are we getting into the pro-life conversation?

Well, it's related to that. Just like, because of course we all say, no, we'd never, we'd never extinguish a baby's life for this great cathedral. But if nobody was looking, a lot of people would do that.

Or you could just, let's add in the Sphinx and the pyramids, all against one child's life. Let's let in all the great relics of our past. What if the building, you knew the building

was going to fall down and ruin people's lives? I mean, what if you knew like, what if you knew there was an issue? Then it's different. Then it's okay. And of course, one life should outweigh everything. Depends whose life.

So long as it's a day after it's born and not the day before it's born, in which case it's none of anybody's business. It's the mother's right to choose. Well, it's not coming out of the March of Dimes budget. They're not donating to the cathedral. You mean like a lot of women are looking to have a kid and then kill it?

I'm saying, no, not a lot of women, of course not. I'm saying that, listen, these are the issues that people discuss in philosophy class. My other example was, of course, if we really thought the most important thing was to save lives against any economic or convenience concern, we would lower the speed limit to 30 miles an hour. And we'd save a lot of lives on the highway. So we do, whether we like it or not,

we do weigh economic things and convenience things against what we know will be human lives. Now, it's not the same thing as choosing to kill a life. That's like, right, supporting the gun companies. That's a very good point that you just made. And then when you do, I'm not trying to raise trouble about the abortion issue. I'm not pro-life. But when they start saying that in the ninth month, if a doctor says that it's a woman's mental health is at stake, that she can kill the have the fetus killed or whatever it's called at that point.

From a philosophical struggle to try to bring some consistency of thought to all this, it does become hard for me to say that, yes. I've never even heard of that before. Like, how often does that happen? These new laws, where is it? In Virginia? New York State. New York State says that? Yeah. So, now, of course, not many doctors would do that, but... It's highly, highly, highly...

Okay, let's get into it. So, today in the paper is, they just indicted, what, 60 doctors? Did you see this? No, I did not. I'll tell you right now. Doctors for, hold on, come on. Medical professionals charged with illegal prescribing opioids.

And they distributed more than 32 million powerful and addictive drugs. It doesn't say how many doctors here. I think it was 60 doctors or something were indicted for essentially prescribing these drugs to people in return for sex, in return for money. I mean, this is just unbridled evil. Ruining people's lives, killing people to put money in their pockets. The point being... And a lot of them are probably pro-life.

Right. No, the point being, don't be naive about what a doctor will do easily to make money or to hook somebody up. They will prescribe opioids. I think that is such a different thing than killing a baby. Really? Yes. Why is it different?

Because it's a completely... You prescribe opioids to somebody who doesn't need them. How many doctors have you heard of that have prescribed opioids to people who don't need them? And how many doctors have you heard of that have killed a baby after it's born? This is huge. I just want statistics. I don't have statistics. This just came out today. Right, because I don't need them? And how many doctors have you heard of that have killed a baby after it's born? This is huge. I just want statistics. I don't have the statistics. This just came out today.

Right, because I don't... Have you ever heard of that? No, I haven't. But just to not derail it entirely, I think more to the point is like there were three black churches that were burned to the ground in America. 350,000 illegal...

They don't care. People don't fucking care. That's right. We're talking about black churches. I turn my head That's right. We're talking about black churches. I turn my head for one second. We're talking about black churches. 350,000 illegal prescriptions. 350,000.

So, you know, doctors... That's sick. I mean, that's horrible. Right. So the idea that a doctor would not rubber stamp the woman who says, you know, this has caused me a lot of anxiety,

especially a doctor who philosophically thinks it's okay. Let's not get around dealing with this head-on by Kobayashi Maru, you know, the Star Trek by changing the scenario and saying, well, it doesn't happen

anyway, so we need to talk about it. Let's presume it is going to happen, that there will be some doctors, if a woman says, listen, I'm in the ninth month and I really don't want this baby, and doctors say, okay, I'll fill out this thing that says it's bad for your mental health. Yeah. I want to, I want to hear it. Like I'm sure I've never heard of that in my entire life. The point is the law allows for it. Right. And it's, and it is, it is interesting. It's interesting to me that a lot of men bring this up.

No, a lot of women believe, bring it up too. I just said on stage the other night that 9 out of 10 times when I see a pro-life sticker, it's a middle age man. You can do everything and throw every roadblock in my path to avoid discussing it on the merits. You can attack me because

it's coming out of a man's mouth. You can attack it because you don't think it's going to happen. It's your opinion. You are pro-life gnome. Are you? You're pro-choice? You're 100% pro-choice? If being against this makes me 100% pro-choice, then no. I don't think this is okay. I think that someone would have to... It's not okay with me either.

And I've never heard of it in my entire life. So I'm shocked. But this is not so much about, in my mind, concluding whether pro-choice or pro-life, because everyone wants to attack me for that. I'm just trying to get under the hood here, a consistent and unified principle of human life. Right, with guns, war, everything. So the idea that two days prior to birth, now, of course, birth could happen anytime. There's no difference really in any way between a baby, a full-term baby before it's burned, a full-term baby after it's burned.

It's just where it's residing. But somehow we think that this prior to birth, even if it can be removed and given up for adoption, it's not a health. But that this is somehow marginally protectable. But if it should happen to escape the birth canal, even while we're talking about it, now it's so sacred that we would never even think of, there's not even a question of if it was that against the Notre Dame Cathedral.

The cathedral's got to go. That's how precious human life is once it gets out of the birth canal. But prior to that, no, no, that's, you know, let's not talk about it. Let's talk about the fact that you're a man. Let's talk about the fact that this wouldn't happen.

It's not just a man. It's not just being a man. It's also very hypocritical. Not with you. But I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about with guns. Plenty of women who are pro-life. No, no. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about with guns. Do you know that there's plenty of women who are pro-life? No, no.

I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about with guns, with war. What about all of, what does that have, that's all about life. That's true. It is true.

You want to zoom out? It's true, but it's also, I was going to say, why are we zooming out to everything about what I want to talk about? Just explain to me why. I presume it's okay. Because I've never heard of what you're talking about.

Meaning, I don't know anyone who's ever had a child. Hold on a second. I don't know anyone. And I'm going to be 50 years old. I have never in my life heard of a baby being born and being killed after it's born. Now, I'm not saying it hasn't happened. I didn't say killed after it's born.

So what happens to it? He's saying in the ninth month. He's saying. Oh, so, right. I've never heard of that. And I'm sure it's happened. I'm not saying it hasn't happened. I didn't say killed after he was born. So what happens to it? He's saying in the ninth month that it's... Oh, so, right. I've never heard of that. And I'm sure it's happened. I'm not saying it hasn't. You've heard of partial birth abortions, right?

Yes. Well, they exist. You know they exist. Right. You don't have to have met somebody. You know it's a real thing. Right. Even if it happens infrequently.

Yeah. It's a very... I'm just... I've never heard of it. I don't know anyone who's ever had that. You don't have to it. I don't know anyone who's ever had that. You don't have to know. I don't know anybody who's been murdered. I know murder happens.

I don't know anybody who's been murdered. Governor Cuomo did pass the law. It was a big controversy in Virginia when the governor said it was okay to do that, or even after the baby was born. And, I mean, obviously it does happen because Richard Gosnell in Philadelphia was convicted on a number of murder counts for botching abortions, delivering the baby, and then murdering the baby afterwards. I didn't know that. It does happen.

But going back to Jessica's point, I hate guns. I don't think abortion should be legal in most cases. It's character assassination. We keep saying, well, guns and abortion, you're a man. Well, we're talking about the issues. I get it I'm a woman saying that who who could have had a child inside him I'm a woman saying that which you it is different. It's different. Well it is it's a different person. It's there. Yes it is You're not you can't bear children

You're it's not you're you're not a mutt you wouldn't be the mother bearing a child. Because it's about having autonomy. I'm not going to win this conversation. No, no, no. Explain to me why. Because it's about having autonomy over your body as a woman and having other people make decisions. That's not what she's saying. Yes, I am. A hundred percent.

I don't think anyone should tell a woman what she can and can't do with a baby inside of her. That's my opinion. Yeah, but now you've changed it. No, I didn't. I'm very clear about that. Let me tell you why I think you've changed it. I thought you were saying, I thought you were saying that my argument could be negated simply by the fact that I'm a man saying it. And I'm saying that I'm sure I could find without much trouble a woman. Oh, a ton of women. Right. And then you would not be able to say that to her.

That would force you into... I would say the same. I would say it... You would say no man or woman should tell you what... I would say no person, anyone, would tell me what to do with my body, period. That's fine. But why are you bringing up... But I'm making a... I'm trying to make a logical... Man or woman. But I'm saying

even more so with men who can't even bear children. It's like me telling you what to do with your penis. I don't have one. No. Because then who speaks... Okay. Let's just for the sake of argument, let's just say for the sake of argument that the baby is a baby.

Who speaks for the baby? No. I don't... Let me explain something. I don't agree with a baby being killed in the ninth month or after it's born. Why not? Why? Because it's already a fully grown baby. But it's a woman's body.

Who are you to tell a woman what to do with her body? No, but I mean there are certain points where like you're not just going to kill a baby. What month are you? No, kill a baby, abortion. Well, I mean that's an important distinction. What month are you okay with? You know what I have to say? I clearly know that you're

not completely pro-choice. I'm being completely honest with you. You're not. I've had abortions. Okay, so then... I mean, I've been... Are you amazing to me? I mean, I paid for them.

I love this. This makes it even so... I'm like, this is like having a huge bowl of pasta in front of me. But why do you keep personalizing it to me? Because you brought it up and you you are an opinion about it.

No, but these arguments can be made by dead people. And this is a classic thing that I struggle with with every issue. These are logical arguments, and immediately the ad hominem attack comes, which is to somehow

defend myself. Because you brought it up and have an opinion about it. But I would have never brought that up. the ad hominem attack comes, which is to somehow defend myself. Because you brought it up and have an opinion about it. I would have never brought that up. Joe Mackey's going to clarify everything. No, I just think any issue has an ethical, logical discussion behind it, regardless of

how it affects each individual person to disqualify other people. We don't do that from any other law. We don't say, well, men get drafted, so women can't vote on that. It's just, I mean, like what Noam's argument was about when does a fetus or baby become viable? That's an ethical, logical discussion. It has nothing to do with can he have a baby or not. I would never presume to tell somebody when discussing Israel, you don't tell me about Israel.

You're not Jewish. I don't need to explain to you the moral arguments for why I pro-Israel. All I need to tell you is that's all you need to know is you're not Jewish. That's crazy talk.

I would never say such a thing. than telling somebody what they can or cannot do with their physical body. Tell me why it's different. Because it's my body. You don't have a right to tell me what to do with my body.

You're stating a conclusion. I'm saying you want to kill the baby in the ninth month. You can't say. First of all, no, I don't. Why not? You feel you should have a right to. No, I don't think that at all. Then you want to tell somebody what they can do with their body.

No, I think she would tell someone what to do. Can I answer? I don't. Yeah, you can answer. First of all, late term abortion is incredibly rare. Nobody wants to have abortions in the ninth month. It's shocking. I've never even heard of it.

Why are you talking about how rare it is? Let's talk about the one time it happened. It's horrible. Why should it be legal? For me, it depends on the circumstance. She's making the face. She's thinking about it now. Am I allowed to think or no?

I just have to have a clear yes or no answer. I'm going to tell you why you're not allowed to think. Because you're a woman. Because if you hadn't thought about this yet, then why were you mouthing off the entire previous 20 minutes when you didn't even know how you felt about it yet? I wasn't talking about having an abortion in the ninth month. She was talking about being able to have one if she wanted to. I think the scenario was ninth month.

I think that's where it started out. I think that's all I ever spoke about. Quick question. And you said it's a woman who out. I think that's all I ever spoke about. Quick question. And you said it's a woman who has a right to her own body, which fine. Then I say, well, then you think it should be okay. Like, no, I don't think it should be okay. That's what you were talking about.

I'm talking about... I'm going to let the listeners decide. I think there's a pretty clear logic. If this were an episode of This Week at the Comedy Cellar, the topic was the Notre Dame Cathedral. The joke was abortion. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know

how it got... It was a bit of a rough segue. It got into this crazy conversation. Well, I mean, there is a... There is a relationship insofar as

how much value do we put on a building and then Noam got into value we put on a baby and there is a link there. So there's more value on the building. It was fairly a rough, I felt a rough transition. Though rough transitions aren't necessarily bad.

But I did want to get more into, I wanted Noam's thoughts on what about a billionaire donating $100 million to rebuild this cathedral when that same $100 million could be used for starving people, what have you? Do you have any thoughts on that? I know Noam must have an interesting take on that. I don't, except that I would say the following. I think that these are usually false comparisons.

I don't know that the money would have gone or that they're not already donating large amounts of money. Or that somebody's not going to eat because of that. But yeah, I would think that considering the fact that the church has so much money and the government of France

has so much money that if you wanted to help people that you would choose a charity that you could actually save people's lives before you build the building. But all of this is... But that doesn't mean that you don't have a legitimate right to want to preserve a historical landmark. Well, that's how I get there.

But all of it is, and this is where I was coming from, is in my kind of trying to crystallize in my mind the fact that even though this is just an inanimate object I understand it truly is important and it's not and it truly is a huge

huge tragedy I mean the whole thing it burns to the ground it's a permanent loss to the human race and at some point, that tragedy might be comparable to a human life.

I don't know. Well, I think that a lot of architecture does inspire people to do great things. Like if the Lincoln Memorial was exploded today, that would be damaging to people because of all the people that have been inspired by that. And if churches and mosques and synagogues were destroyed,

think of how many people have been inspired to do good. Or evil, though. Or evil, I mean, sure, but I'm a religious guy, so I like to talk about the good. Oh, that's not always. But, yeah, I mean, it's bigger than stones and wood. Yeah. Oh, I totally agree with that. I mean, it's bigger than stones and wood. Yeah. Oh, I totally agree with that. I mean, I really do.

I think that's why when you brought up the three black churches. But that was true. That was just in the Times today. There were people inside those churches, and nobody's up in arms about that. Hold that thought just one second. I want to get right back to that. But here, let's take it just one step further. So let's say you're a sniper

and you saw that someone was going to destroy a house. Just a house. You would not want to... We'd be quite reluctant to let somebody kill that person. Just kill them.

Is the house full of people? No. Just the house. But the house full of people? No, just the house. But if somebody, remember the Taliban destroyed those ancient statues? Whatever it was. I remember ISIS doing something like that in Syria. The Taliban. They destroyed some

priceless Mongolian or some sort of Asian Buddhas or something. I don't know. I think they were Buddhas because something like that. And yeah, if I were the sniper, I would say kill him before he gets to... So the fact that this is a treasure of the human race, treasure of the planet,

at that point, yeah, I would not... It's not like just killing a... It's not like just destroying a house anymore, and I would think it's okay to take that life. Now, of course, this is an evildoer, this is a wrongdoer, so it's kind of a punishment, it's not quite the same thing, but still, somehow that does change the calculation

of how we value the life of the criminal. It's a more important thing he was going to destroy. So go ahead, Perry. Now, the black churches, which is always something we have to, every issue leads to black churches. Go ahead. Well, three of them were just burned down. I understand that. Black churches

in Louisiana see $1.3 million surge in donations after fire at Notre Dame Cathedral. Right. That's terrific. I'm not being flippant about black churches. No, I'm not saying that you are. This always gets thrown up at me

I wasn't throwing it up at you I was just merely pointing out and I'm certainly not the first person to do so that nobody was this upset like Notre Dame has become this like huge tragedy there were people in those churches I don't think it's an apples to oranges

it's a bit of an apples to oranges comparison and I'm not denigrating these churches. One, the media didn't cover any. This is the first I've even heard of it. I don't know if anyone was killed. The people died. Nobody was dying in these churches. There was Charleston.

The point is that three churches were burned down. It's just around the same time. That's why. If it happened six months ago, it wouldn't have been as big of a comparison. It's not the same thing. I don't think, historically, the architecture and whatnot. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about three houses of worship were burned down by a white supremacist.

Right, but they can be rebuilt. It is a tragedy. How do you know what was inside of them, though? I mean, like, for those people that were there. So why does it matter if they're black? I mean, there's been synagogues burned down in other churches. It wouldn't matter if they were black or white. I'm just saying three churches were burned down.

I think it does matter. It's just not a worldwide symbol. And also... It's not 800 years old. We're talking about money stuff. It's not about one's. It's not 800 years old. Of course, but we're talking about money stuff. It's not about one's more important than the other. So you're saying if somebody blows up the pyramids, that if we talk about that,

now we have to focus on the fact that... I mean, I hate to... I know some of the concerns, like saying I don't care about... Of course I care about the black church. I care about anybody's... Anything that gets blowed up, and I especially hate white supremacy,

but I don't see why this is a conversation in terms of, there's a handful of... That's what people are talking about in the news, that people were incredibly affected by this. They're talking about donations, not about comparing one to the other. But the GoFundMe, they tried to raise $600,000 to rebuild these churches, and they're already at $1.8 million.

They're getting a lot of money for these churches. Which is great. Yeah. They should. So what's the issue? That nobody was talking about them. It wasn't in the news.

It wasn't a big deal. It was just Notre Dame had become this huge thing. And I'm not saying that it's not terrible that Notre Dame— Are you saying that Notre Dame almost burning down is being overblown as a story? No, that's not what I'm saying. It kind of sounds like what you're saying. No, it's not. It's not what I said either. Are you saying that the three

black churches being burned down is underblown? Yes, thank you. So what would be right? Like, so should they on CNN show the Notre Dame and then in our next story, the black church? No, having nothing to do with Notre Dame when the black churches were burned, it should have been a bigger deal.

Right, but is it... Well, this is my point. Here. There's so many other horrible stories every day that are... How about if there were three temples in Jersey that were burned down by a person who hates Jews?

There are more hate crimes against Jews than anybody else. I'm asking them more than black people? I believe so. More than Muslims. Well, look. I'm not sure if they compare race to religion and how they compare to Jews. The fact is horrible things happen all over the world every day. They get a lot less coverage.

People die every day in tragic ways. They get a lot less coverage than Notre Dame. So I think we're just trying to... And people are upset about that, and that was my point. Well, look, the news... People are affected by things in a way that's sort of beyond their control. I think the question we can ask ourselves is, why are people so affected by Notre Dame?

I think it is, speaking for myself, it did affect me enormously, and I'm not comparing that. I don't see anybody killed there. I'm not comparing that to the black churches. The point is that people were looking to give hundreds of millions of dollars to the church in France, and a lot of people weren't looking to help the people that lost their churches in the South. That's the whole argument. Can we just be honest?

In this day and age, there's just no way to do anything without getting abused for it. There's no threading the needle. If you didn't build the church, it would be that the rich people didn't help. This is just about looking out on the world and being able to fault

the West or fault the white people. That is the conservative view. I understand what you're saying. There's always something. Like Notre Dame is burning down and some well-intentioned people are moved by this and they want to donate money to it. And now they're bad guys because they didn't donate money to any. No, they're not bad guys.

I think they have a right to donate that. That's not the point. The point is that people didn't look to give them money to help them rebuild their churches. But these three churches are cherry- There's a tragedy every second that they could be helping with. It doesn't have to be the church. It could be this person who lost their house, this person whose restaurant burned down. I know.

You have a certain way of looking at things. This person who's dying of- And it's conservative. Yeah. This person who's dying of this, this person who had a... I mean, that's not conservative. Well, I think what happened here is... Wait, wait, wait. That's not conservative. I'm saying that what is...

No, the whole thing about what you can talk about, what you can't. That's a very conservative point of view. It's okay. How do these three churches distinguish themselves from literally a million other tragedies. Some of them which actually have

real physical injury, loss of life, parents grieving, whatever it is. School shootings. Why are we focusing on these three churches? Because they're black historic churches of people that suffered from slavery. They are. They're in the south.

She just showed me the article. I didn't say that they were historic. They are. They are. They are historic churches where people suffered from slavery. It's the same thing as Jewish people. I wouldn't say it about three temples that burned down. You wouldn't? We're not comparing it to that. We're just saying that a lot of people...

Anytime somebody spends money on one thing, it could have been that they spent it on something else. Theoretically, a handjob that I got at a rub and tug could have been donated to a needy family. Dan, if your temple was burned down, was burned down by some white supremacist, and then Notre Dame burned down,

and some rich person wants to donate money, would you think yourself, he should have given money to my temple? No, I wouldn't have thought that. I would have thought that they should have donated it to Planned Parenthood. But Joseph has been wanting to say something and as you know, Noam, when he's on a roll, he... Well, I don't know if it's a fair comparison because

the media picks and chooses what stories to cover. This is the first I'm hearing about the three churches and I read the news every day from a number of different sources. I mean, they could make a big deal about those Covington kids when it wasn't even what they initially represented. So clearly they'll pick stories that are sympathetic to certain ethnic groups that aren't white.

But here they dropped the ball. They didn't cover these stories, and now they're saying, oh, why didn't we, this is society's fault. I'm like, well, you kind of pick what we hear to an extent, and they blew it on this one. So if anyone should be pointing a finger, it should be asking why weren't these covered beforehand, which I think is a fair question.

They were covered, but not only on certain networks. They're not going to be covered on Fox News. I read CNN every day. I didn't see it on there, but perhaps I missed it. Yeah, I saw it on CNN a lot, on the TV. Oh, I don't have cable, but I did watch it through the web. At the end of the day, any dollar a billionaire spends, any million dollars, any hundred million dollars a billionaire spends,

could have been spent on saving lives. Does a billionaire need a custom Boeing 787? You know, does a billionaire need a 50th house? Well, I think you're right. The billionaire, for this particular billionaire, that church was of great

import, and he is moved to... Yeah, we're not comparing. I think anyone should be able to give anything to anything. But a lot of people are saying, well, they should have given... If you're going to spend $100 million on a charitable endeavor,

like rebuilding a church, maybe you should think to spend $100 million on a charitable endeavor, like rebuilding a church, maybe you should think and spend it on something else, which on the one hand, I see it's a fair point. When you're going to spend money, when you have a lot of money to spend, you should give some thought as to where it would do the most good. On the other hand, people are entitled to spend their money, and they spend it on a lot crazier shit than restoring a church. I mean, you know, they buy a big yacht, and nobody says, well, why'd you buy that yacht

when there's families? Maybe some people do say that, but it's not as huge a story as this. To this individual or these individuals, that church is of tremendous importance. Okay, I've got to say, this all really makes me angry, maybe too strong a word, but it really gets under my skin because in this whole conversation, what happens is that if you just want to talk about something, immediately I'm forced into a situation where I have to be super careful and awkward. So, like we talk about

these black churches. And first of all, you say that people were killed. Oh, sorry, I got that wrong. Nobody's killed. Then she says they're historic. I'm like, no, they're not. They're historically black churches, meaning they've always been churches where black people, but they're not historic churches in terms of

being a part of history. And by correcting that, now all of a sudden, oh, what are you saying? Something bad about the black churches? No, I'm not saying anything bad about the black churches, but this is almost the tactic. Like either I have to sign off on facts which are not really true, meaning I could have just signed off on what this conversation could have been about, which is these three historic churches where people died in fires, and just shut up, and we can talk about that, which is one picture, or what actually happened, which is really fucking bad as well,

which is three not-famous churches were burned down and nobody died. Nobody died? Nobody died. But you, at least from what I can tell from a quick look. But it's historic to them. And you can have your opinion. No, you can say it's historic to them, and you can have your opinion. No, you can say it's historic to them. I don't know what historic to them means,

but the whole point is that you introduce the race, you introduce black church, and then you put everybody on the defensive. Not at all. I'm not trying to put anybody on the... If they were white churches, I would say by a black person doing it. I'm sure you can find some white churches that were burned down or some synagogues that were burned down.

Really? Of course. I don't know. I think I would have heard if there were other churches or synagogues burned down. I don't know if I would have heard if there were churches, but I feel like I would have known if there were synagogues. Is it possible, a modest proposal, to spend the last, say, 10, 15, 20 minutes talking about Peter? Houston Synagogue Fire Investigator. I guess the answer is no to that question. say 10, 15, 20 minutes, talking about Peter... Houston synagogue fire investigation. I guess the answer is no to that question.

Houston synagogue fire investigated his arson November 29th, 1918. Hate crime question persists in New York synagogue fire. A spate of synagogue arson attacks in Brooklyn rattles Jewish community. You guys, this is just Googling synagogue fires. My point is like, Brooklyn synagogue graffiti man charged...

Oh, that's graffiti. Police didn't have a man suspected of anti-Semitic arson. Brooklyn Daily Eagle. synagogue fires. My point is like, Brooklyn Synagogue graffiti man charged with, oh, that's graffiti. Police said, police didn't have a man suspected of anti-Semitic arson. Brooklyn Daily Eagle. Paramus synagogue fire was arson.

News 12. I mean, come on guys. I'm just reading Google, these are all recent stories. you have your opinion

and that's your opinion. This is not my opinion. It is, you have an opinion, it's okay. I have an opinion too. They're just different. No, I said that I'm sure there were synagogue fires. Right. And now it's no not my opinion. It is. You have an opinion. It's okay. I have an opinion, too. They're just different. No, I said that I'm sure there were synagogue fires.

Right. And now it's no longer my opinion because I'm reading you the headlines. No, I'm very upset about the synagogue fires, too. That has nothing to do with what we're talking about. I'm upset about both. Upset about any fire. Now, just imagine when the—how about just imagine now if when the rich people gave money to these three black churches, I had the nerve to say, what about the synagogues?

Oh, I'm sure a lot of people give money to the synagogues. No, no. Yeah. Point is that that wouldn't be so well received, would it? That would sound a little. For me, yeah, it would. That would sound like. Because I'm Jewish.

It would sound the same. It would sound like, why are you complaining about the money to the black churches? Of course your synagogues are worthy, but like why? I would be upset if they were white churches, too, and someone burned down three churches that people go to worship. That's my point. It's a fair question. I can't defend it because I'm not

complaining about the Notre Dame donations. I can't defend an argument I don't agree with, but I get what you're saying, yeah. I think that all human tragedy is human tragedy. And I know that someone listening to this podcast is going to think somehow that I'm not sufficiently concerned about these tragedies. And I am.

I am. I just resent the pressure to speak about them with no—that any analysis means indifference. Any analysis. Any correction of the facts means you're indifferent. You're not being pressured. It's your opinion. That's your opinion.

You're not pressuring me. We just have a different opinion on certain things. What's the difference to our opinion? A lot. You're much more conservative than I am.

Where do we differ on this? On the black church? Because I'm not saying because they're black. I don't know what you're saying. I don't know what anyone's saying. I'm personally not saying that I'm upset because they were black and that's why. Because I would be upset if there were three white churches

that were not white, but you know what I'm saying. If most of the people that went were white people. But I'm not comparing that. I'm not saying people shouldn't give money to the church in France. It's their money. They can do whatever they want with it. It just would be nice if more people reacted to what happened in the South, to these churches.

There wasn't a lot said about it. That's what you were saying. And that was the upsetting part. That's all I was saying. Thank you. And I'm saying I agree with you. However, I just rattled off a whole bunch of other And that was the upsetting part. That's all I was saying. Thank you. And I'm saying, I agree with you. However, I just rattled off a whole bunch of other things that weren't a lot. Those are upset about those too.

But I think that's because those churches that just happened. That was the right. We were talking about it a year ago. What I'm saying is that, and when you zoom out. But I like it when you say that you agree with me. When you zoom out, what I was trying to say before, there are countless tragedies to people that are not necessarily to be elevated over the church that gets burned down. Might be just as bad or worse in terms of actual loss of life, whatever it is. And in a nation of 300 million people, we simply don't have the ability to focus on all these things because

they're happening every day. Every minute. Every minute. And that's why it's like that. And it's very easy to any, I mean, you could cherry pick any horrible thing that happened in the last month. How come nobody's talking about that? Because that's the world.

Tragedies happen every day. Fucked up white supremacists do shit every day. Racists do happen every day. Fucked up white supremacists do shit every day. Racists do things every day. I mean, how many times have we seen old ladies beaten up and raped? You know? I've never seen that. I haven't. And does anybody chip in for her private care, for her nurse?

Oh, I'm sure they do. I hope they do. Anyway, go ahead. What do you want to talk about? Well, I did want to talk about another one of your favorite topics. I know you never get tired of Peter Bujaj the Maltese mayor. I'm with Pete.

Of South Bend, Indiana. Now, Jessica being a member of the LGBT community. Whoa, whoa. What does this, what if anything. I knew something was up. What, if anything, does this mean to you? The fact that there is a viable candidate, openly gay, running for the president of the United States.

I'm just happy about that. Like, I'm not like, oh, I hope he wins because he's gay. I don't, you know, I don't, I'm not for anyone right now. So, but I'm happy that he is out and proud and owning it and showing up. And when I saw his husband come on stage with him, it was a beautiful moment for me. And I think it will help a lot of gay children and teenagers and young people. That's really how I look at it.

Any comments, Mr. Joe? That makes sense to me he said by the way that I guess he was responding to Pence saying that if you have a problem with me you have a problem with my creator

in other words he made me gay so you have a problem with God if you have a problem with with me being gay. But is that really logical? First, we have to ask ourselves, the question is, is homosexuality a sin in Christian doctrine? And if it is, then you can't just say, well, he made me gay, so I'm allowed to do it.

What do you mean you can't say that? In other words, if being gay is a sin in Christian doctrine, and I'll leave that question to those who are theologically right. People who interpreted it a certain way. Okay. Then you can't just say, well, God gave me the desire to have sex with men, therefore I'm justified in doing so. You can say it because who's making that analysis? Meaning there's different interpretations of the Bible. Okay.

Want me to correct a factual record just for a second? Is this going back to the black church? No, it's a hate crime. So I was right. They break down hate crimes, religious or ethnicity. So Jews had 938 attacks against Jews. Jews were 2% of the population. There were 2,000 attacks against blacks.

Blacks who are 12% of the population or something like that, 13% of the population. So there's about twice as many hate crimes against blacks as Jews, but about six times as many blacks as Jews. So per capita, Jews are much, much more likely to be the victims of hate crime. No comparison. It could be. It could be that those are the ones that were reported.

It could be that the are the ones that were reported. It could be that the hate crimes are more severe, but maybe less in number. But, you know, no question that there's a lot of hate crimes, I guess, again. So it's... We certainly have a right to be treated... We certainly have a right to view Jews as equal victims of hate crimes. Are you kidding? I totally get it. I agree with you 100%.

Okay, what I was getting at with Mayor Pete, though, is Mayor Pete, I guess he considers himself a Christian. Is that correct, Joe? Yeah. So basically, if you consider yourself a Christian and— Presbyterian, right? Pardon? Presbyterian, I think. I mean, at what point do you say—it seems like people are trying to mold the religion around what works for them.

Isn't that the case with every religion? Probably. But maybe the better way of doing it is just dump the religion. If you feel that being gay is okay and your religion says being gay is not okay... But there are plenty of religious people who feel very strongly about their religion who are also gay. Yes. Your friend Danny, he's Jewish and Orthodox and he's gay. He's not Orthodox anymore, though.

He still abides by some of the laws. He's alone. He's alone and he's never been in a relationship. But he told me that the religion says you can't be gay. So even though I'm gay, I mean, I'm homosexual of orientation, I'm not going to act on it because the religion says you're not allowed to act on it. Because he's Orthodox. I'm not Orthodox.

It's very different. What are you getting at, Dan? What's your question? What I'm getting is that Mayor Pete says he's a Christian. And he says if you have a problem with me, you have a problem with my creator. But is that a fair reading of Christian doctrine? Well, I can't speak for Presbyterians, but I know the Presbyterians, I thought they allowed gay clergy. So I'm not sure that that's even accurate for Presbyterians.

Well, I don't know if it is or it isn't, but they allow gay clergy, but do they allow gay clergy to act on it? I think they do. I can't speak for them, but I'm not sure. Okay, I didn't know. I mean, it just seems to me that it does. There's different levels of religion, meaning I'm Reformed. Right. I'm not even conservative.

Then there's conservative, there's orthodox, there's Hasidic. I mean, there's so many different, and there's so many churches now that do accept it, and so many rabbis that are getting it. You know, it's like, it's a different time. I understand that, but if the Bible says it, the Bible, I mean... But who is doing that analysis of the Bible? Meaning, like, you're talking about certain people, like, reading the Bible and coming up with certain laws. And then there's people who say that it's never even said in there.

Well, Mateo Lane, who just joined us. I was going to do Liza Minnelli talking about religion. But I do want to say. You can do that if you'd like. The New Testaments were recorded, they think, either 30 to 100 years after the death of Jesus. And it was written in ancient Greek. That's not... It doesn't translate to the Greek today.

So most of the stories in the New Testament were hearsay, also from a lot of pagan religions at that time, you know, with the solstice and everything. But anyway, so whatever we read today as the Bible had to be translated. First of all, 3% of the population was literate then. So when you wanted to write what that original version of the Bible was, you had to get someone who was literate and hope that they copied it perfectly. That copy had to be hand copied by hand, copy by hand, copy by hand, copy by hand,

copy by hand. And then you have to translate it to another ancient language. So you're taking it to Latin. And then from there, you're translating it to et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Is it possible, then, given all that translation and miscommunication, that not only is homosexuality not a sin, heterosexuality is a sin? Well, I think it's a language thing, too. Like, the word Hades in ancient Greek has six different meanings, right? But it doesn't

have different meanings in other languages. So they have to just decide what that means. Like Mary wasn't a virgin originally. It was originally young woman, but that translated wrong to virgin. And that became the whole story of Mary being a virgin. So it's more so about language being mistranslated, and also once it got in the hands of the Catholic Church, I mean, they just threw whatever they wanted in just to get money and people paying for sins and purgatory. I mean, everything. Do you believe in God?

No. Okay. Well, so that makes it easier. I do, and I have an amazing relationship with my higher power, and I know that God wants me to have love in my life. I know that in my heart and soul, no matter what anyone says, God does not want me to be alone. I believe in God, too, and I agree with Jessica. And I was born this way, and I would have never chosen this lifestyle ever. And I know that might

sound horrible to people, but I would have never chosen to not be able to walk down the street holding hands with the person I love in most places. And I believe in Oxycontin. It's gotten me through most of my troubles. Is it possible you're going to get up to heaven? First of all, I don't believe in heaven. But is it possible you're going to get up

there and God's going to say, look, I know I made you... I've got to be honest with you. It was a sin. I don't know what to tell you. I wrote it. It's an abomination. No, I don't know what to tell you. You know, I wrote it. It's an abomination. No, I don't feel that way. I know it in my heart and soul.

I'm telling you, I know that I'm loved and accepted. And homosexuality isn't the only thing that God, like if God made you gay and then tried to make you not, I mean, there's a lot of things God asks you to do but sets you up in a lose-lose situation, right? So he's saying, oh, my son, who's also myself, whatever, human sacrifice, which seems barbaric. And then he says, well, that's going to get rid of your sin, but then you're born in sin. So you're born and forced

to love something. It's kind of like, Christopher Hitchens called it like a celestial North Korea. Like you're stuck in a situation where you have to love somebody. Catholicism tells you that thought, just thinking something, is considered sin. I mean, it's so, it's an unhealthy, this is religious, not spirituality I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the way religion conducts itself and saying that there's thought crime. So you can't think something. So every form of religion finds a way to get inside you and challenge your thoughts and your natural instincts. The logical thing would be to just dump religion overboard, as you've done. Yeah, I think, too.

You know, I'm kind of someone who doesn't think about religion and God, and I sort of think about people. I think that we can uplift ourselves and morality is self-evident and that we, as people, would care a lot more about each other if we started looking at each other as a community rather than, well, my God says this, so now I'm against you. Because it really is a divisive tool that's been used for I don't know how many years to keep people separate and to gain power and money. And so a very small percentage of people have only benefited truly from religion, while a lot of other people are are sort of put in situations where they feel that it's hopeless and i'm not even just talking about catholicism where i dealt with my own internal battles of feeling i'm going to hell

there's young kids dealing with conversion therapy there's people in other countries who who can't even even express their entire lives maybe what they actually feel what they want in life because they are condemned to their religion. Otherwise, they're out. And it's really a tool. Or killed. Or killed. So it's really a tool that, you know, and I understand that there's charities and I

understand that these things exist, but charity doesn't have to just come from religion. People can also create charities, too. So for me, in my experience in life, it's been nothing but a burden. And so I've taken that burden off by just focusing on humanity and caring about people. And I think that religion can bring happiness to people. And I certainly don't want to tell anybody, don't be religious. Like Joe, I know you're religious. And so I would never say you're an idiot and don't be religious, but I'm just speaking on my experience with Catholicism and it's not for me. Yeah, I, you know, I'm not, I don't believe either, so I tend to agree.

I don't know, it's painful because there's so many good people who are religious who I think would just wish that these handful of really inconvenient verses just would just disappear, so, you know, it would just make life so much easier. And then they have to, forgive me respectfully, Joe, they, they have to, um, kind of tie themselves into pretzels to try to find a way that they can explain this away or they actually own it. And they say, no, I, it's a sin and you shouldn't be doing that, which, um, you know, that's what that's, they have the right to that belief if they don't act on it in any kind of coercive way. But it makes them a pariah. So, you know, if that's what they actually believe, they're in a real spot.

Yeah. And you can't really help what you believe in a certain way. Right. It's not fair to, I'm so sorry to, like, come here and bombard you guys. No, this is interesting. But it's also not fair for anybody, whether you're religious or not religious, to start cherry picking verses out of the Bible because. That's what makes me crazy.

Yeah, because even if you do say, well, God says a man shall not lie with another man. And, you know, it goes in, don't wear silk with cotton and don't. I mean, there's so many. Well, could Peter Buttigieg say. After Labor Day. Well, that's what makes people just... That's what drives me crazy because whenever someone says, oh, homosexuals

shouldn't be doing that or whatever, I'm like, all God talked about was love. All Jesus talked about was love. Love one another. But he did say that a man should not lay with another man. He didn't say that. Well, who said that? That's a man's interpretation of what... He didn't say that. Well, who said that? That's a man's interpretation of what

he didn't say. And again, it was never attributed in any of the Mark, Paul, Luke, or John. But Dan, even the Mark, Paul, Luke, Matthew, all of these, I like Ringo. What about spilling your seed?

Well, I'll teach you about the bees and the bees later. Yeah, spilling your, that's amazing. On this one, I'll ask you to stay out of it because you don't have any seeds. This is none of your seed. But, well, I'll teach you about the bees and the bees later. That's amazing to me. On this one, I'll ask you to stay out of it because you don't have any seeds. It's really none of your business. How do you know? I'm joking.

But I think, again, going back to this religious thing, it's like, well, Paul said, no, we don't speak Koninian Greek or Konia,

however you say the ancient Greek language. Like, we don't speak that language. It's so far removed. Whatever we have now has almost little to nothing to do with whatever was written then, however many years after the death of Christ. So it's so hard to say they said this quote.

Well, no. So getting back to Mayor Pete, who, by the way, I donated to his campaign. I love him. I'm a big supporter of his. Would you like him, Jessica? I'm a big supporter of his. Except that this thing when he came at Pence, it bothered me a little bit. Not that I disagree with

his sentiment. It was the first time I got the feeling from him that he was playing politics because he was the mayor of South Bend. I almost said Bend South. He was the mayor of South Bend while Pence was the governor of Indiana. And apparently

they, from what I read, they got along well. And now all of a sudden that he's running for president, he's calling Pence out. And that's, I got the whiff of opportunism there. I hope that's not the case, but I got the whiff of it. And what I liked

about him so much is that he seems to be above that kind of thing. I think it was a Z formation. That's like, do you know what I'm talking about? Let the record show, he did three snaps in a Z. What I think too is like, if you're going to be mayor of Southman, Indiana, you have to work with your governor. I mean, there's just, you can't be the mayor

and then be like, girl, you're the, you know, you have to, you need to work with this man and Mike Pence as well. You need to work with your constituents, you need to work with this man and Mike Pence as well. You need to work with your constituents. You need to work with your peers. But he's obviously in a different position now than he ever was, and I'm sure he's constantly being challenged by people saying, you know, your state you work in is with a politician who is— You could be right, and we'll see.

He's going to be—look, the Democratic Party—this is not Bill Clinton's Democratic Party. There's going to be a lot of pressure on him to move left. A lot. In a way that I think he actually, are not his core beliefs. He seems to be like a Midwest, a guy who volunteers for the military, he's a Midwestern mayor.

This is not a fire-breathing, woke dude. And I'm going to be curious to see if he holds his character and just sticks with what he actually feels or if he tries to morph into the more socially acceptable Democrat, which is I'll be disappointed. That will be interesting to watch. Yeah, but I like him. He's the only to me right now. He's the only legit candidate. He's the only guy I look at and say, you know what? If I sat down with him, I would have to do more listening than talking

because this dude knows a lot about a lot. The rest of them might be like, you know, you're just like, you're media creations. It is. I tell you, if he's elected president, I mean, that's going to be, for a lot of Americans,

I would imagine, quite something when they hear the press, you know, and here's the president and his husband now getting out of Air Force One. That would be great. But also, if I'm conservative, I think it would be great. I don't care, but I do think it's going to be a big pill

for a lot of Americans to swallow. I don't think that's going to happen, but I think it would be great, too. No, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but can you imagine the reaction of people? And people can learn. No, no. People sell us so short. Do you know how many conversations

arguments I had prior to Obama with people saying, there's no way the country will ever elect a black president. Yeah, I didn't think so either. I really didn't. And they elected him and it was fine. And yes, there's some racists out there like there will always be. But in general it was fine.

And the country was proud of itself. And the people who won't vote for a gay mayor, those people are not voting likely Democrat anyway. And I don't think that's going to be the big issue in whether he gets elected. So long as the person running for office is worthy of that office without regard to their race or their sexuality, then the country, I think, will very easily embrace them. Obama, if he were white, would still be a star. Buttigieg seems to me, it doesn't matter that he's gay, the guy is a serious dude. It would be really funny if he came out in full drag but never

discussed it. You know what I mean? Just standing up there, huge wig. Speaking in all the languages. Yeah. I am a skeptic that he speaks seven languages with anything remotely resembling fluency or even conversationally.

It's certainly possible. That man could go in a gay bar in seven different countries. I know he'd know what to say. He knows the basics, but he might know the basics, but I find it hard to believe that he is. He spoke Norwegian to the Norwegian press. He said hi. I've seen Ray Allen speak pape mento to people down in Aruba. Are we putting Ray Allen and Pete Buttigieg

in the same conversation? I'm saying that the definition of speaking a language is very fluid. Whatever he is, Dan. Speaking a language, what does it even mean? This is homophobic talk on your part. No, it's not homophobic at all. I'm skeptical of anybody that claims to speak a large number of languages. I speak English, Italian, Spanish,

and then my French is pretty rough. But again, speaking has a wide range of possible definitions. Right. It's very compelling also to have a guy who volunteered for the military up there against Trump who faked his way out of the military.

It's a really amazing thing. It's so interesting how popular he is. It's just fun to watch, I have to tell you. Because Americans can respond to the real thing. They don't like tokenism. We don't like tokenism. We don't want to have to vote for the black candidate. Oh, they're black, so you have to like them.

I don't feel that way at all. I think we should fight fire with fire. We've got to go with someone just as unpredictable, just as crazy, and just as orange. We've got to get Lindsay Lohan. Oh, my God. That is hilarious. First of all, I love Jessica so much. You better not be doing material on my podcast.

Oh, yeah. I mean, 100%. I was so serious about religion, which, by the way, I didn't even know I was that prepared for this conversation. All right, Joel, what else is on your mind? Oh, no. We're already over time. I'm interested. I want to add one more interested. We're coming up.

Okay. I just want to add one more thing. That's not me. I just want to say one more thing. That's Matteo doing show. That's Matteo doing show. You didn't even know? Jessica didn't even know. I did, but I love that you had to say it because they wouldn't know.

I didn't even realize. I'd vote for Lindsay Lohan. I'd vote for her. She's got foreign policy. She's in Mykonos. And Sam Morrell, oh, he stinks. I would say that last part. I don't know anything about Lindsay Lohan.

I know a lot about Lindsay Lohan. I feel bad for her. I feel bad for her. Her mother had her Carvel card taken away. She was a girl when she became famous, and she had kind of an interesting upbringing. I don't know if I'm qualified to know. Her parents are terrible.

I feel like now she just gets made fun of for all her problems, and I don't think it's right. I think it's kind of mean-spirited. Well, Joey, I feel like you're personally attacking me now, and that's how we're going to— No, I'm kidding. No, Lindsay is a talented girl and was terribly mismanaged by

her parents and got into a lot of drugs. But now she's an adult and she's... Mateo, I don't know if you heard the news. Sorry to change the subject briefly, but the Comedy Central show live this week at the Comedy Cellar has been

officially picked up for a second season, and Matej also had a fairly prominent role in... Why are you giggling, Jessica? I'm chewing ice right now, but I'm laughing. You're bringing

up how many times he was on. He was on it. He has a scorecard at home. It began and ended on. He was on it. He has a scorecard at home. It began and ended with... He was on it, I'm not sure how many times, but it was... More than me. More than me. But he...

I don't know how many times I was on it. Well, I don't remember. I wasn't keeping... That's the sound of confidence and optimism. I don't even know if I was on it or not. I was on it five times. remember. That's the sound of confidence and optimism. I don't even know if I was on it or not. I was on it five times.

You were on it six times. They used seven jokes and then you did the table ones. I'm making that up. I wasn't keeping that strict track. I was really impressed with myself for a second. But they loved you over there at Comedy Center. What's really on the top of your mind

that you both want to talk about or if there's anything and then we can sign off? What gets you heated, steamed? Besides Morel. You know, like Dan, I don't like the industry that much.

That's why I've been changing the way I do things. I started posting videos on Instagram. I'm trying to get my followers up because the great thing about the world today is if you're a self-starter, a lot of the stuff we complain about doesn't matter. So I would say, you know,

if you're not happy about the bookings you're getting or how much television time you're getting, take it right to the people. Put those videos on Instagram. Get more followers. And I've noticed an increase in the amount of people going to my shows. Look at Schultz. That's great. It's amazing.

Yeah, Schultz for sure. I want to say something to both of you. To me and Joe? Yeah. Go ahead. I mean, Matteo, he knows how much, because we talk a lot. But I think both of you are two of the best comics in New York. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

And I just told Joe that the other day, and I've told you that for 20 years. But you both make me laugh hysterically. And I think what Joe said is so true. I have always taken it in my own hands. I mean, it's really hard to do, because it's time-consuming, and I'm so bad with that shit and everything,

but it really makes a difference if you put out the videos and all that stuff. And you deserve to have sold out crowds everywhere. Both of you. You're both brilliant. If their apartments were to both burn down. I would not give either one of them money. Because they're not. I'd blame Sam.

He's Jewish. Right. Dan, I would give money. Mateo, are you posting videos of your stand-up or other videos on Instagram? Oh, I tried that and it was a nightmare. So, no. I'm just posting. Why is he posting his body?

Those are not his best videos. I was just saying my ass and my drawing. I'm attracted to him. Kyle Dunnigan is posting, has half a million Instagram followers. Oh, man. And he's posting, he's not posting stand-up. He's posting impressions. It's unbelievable what he's doing. Kyle Dunnigan, he's so amazing. He's not posting stand-up. He's posting impressions. It's unbelievable what he's doing.

He's getting millions of views. He's unbelievably funny. I put up one video of me as Liza doing 73 questions with Vogue magazine. That's it. We have to go. The more we talk. Okay, so podcast.comedyseller.com. Is that?

Podcast.comedyseller.com. I hope nobody misunderstands the arguing about the black churches. No, I'm going to have to apologize after every show. Because I just know that it can be misconstrued, but of course. No, have the courage of your convictions and great things will happen. But of course, of course, of course, our heart goes out to anybody who suffers tragedy anywhere in the world. Okay, bye.