The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Rachel Feinstein

Episode Date: November 4, 2022

Rachel Feinstein has three Comedy Central specials, including  ‘Amy Schumer Presents Rachel Feinstein: Only Whores Wear Purple’. Her multiple television appearances include the Amazon series RED OAKS and Judd Apatow's HBO comedy CRASHING. Her credits include Trainwreck, Top Five, HBO’s Last Week Tonight With John Oliver, co-hosting THE VIEW on multiple occasions and several appearances on INSIDE AMY SCHUMER.

This is Live from the Table, a Comedy Cellar-affiliated podcast. Coming at you on SiriusXM 99 Raw Dog and the Laugh Button Podcast Network, Dan Natterman here with Noam Dorman, owner of the world-famous Comedy Cellar, with Perrielle Ashenbrand, our producer, or whatever you want to call her. And, of course, we have Nicole, Nikki Lyons, the sound engineer behind the scenes. You probably won't be talking, but she's there and she is the backbone of this whole operation.

Hello and a belated happy Halloween to everybody. I hope it was a good one. Hope it was scary and spooky and all those things. And candy filled. A big week here at the Comedy Cellar,

first of all. As many of you may know, comedian SNL alumni Chris Redd was assaulted right here at the Comedy Cellar just in front of the club. I was here, but I didn't see anything. And we wish him, obviously, a speedy recovery. I guess he was just... Somebody just came up and hit him

as he was standing outside the club, ready to go on, and I guess there's been no motive determined for the assault. I know nothing. I mean, I'm not like Colonel Klink. I really don't know anything. I don't know anything. All right, well... I guess there's not a lot to talk about there necessarily.

Well, tabloids are attributing. I don't know if it's true or not. I'll tell you something about it. One of the websites put down blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and there's no evidence whether or not it was a comedy seller employee or not. Who put that down? They changed it so I don't want to call them out

by name. You called them up and said, what the fuck? I called up and I found out my attorney on them. I was like, where would you, why would you inject that kind of doubt? There's no, nobody thinks it was a comedy seller employee. She said, well, I thought because he was a commies seller employee.

She said, well, I thought because he was dressed like a security guard. I said, our guards don't wear uniforms, but even if they did, don't you think we'd know if one of our security guards punched... It's such a stupid thing to say. It's just...

The fucking press will do anything. Other people have speculated that... One article article i read said this happened they didn't directly say it was linked but they said this happens you know uh shortly after chris red started became known that he started dating keenan's ex-wife or whatever it was so they're implying perhaps that there was some sort of link there. I think that's crazy, too. Yeah, just coming up with stories that there's no evidence to suggest one way or the other. More interesting to, like, quick—I mean, it's quick bait, right? Like, it's like, okay, we don't know who did it.

The whole story, pouring bleach on him, saying this is MAGA country. I'm not buying any of it. So anyway, I guess he seems to be on the road to recovery from what I've read. I hope so. It's a terrible, I mean, who knows what it was, but whatever it is, it's terrible. It certainly seemed like a targeted attack, not some random thing.

I guess. Yes, it seems that way. When you say it seems that way, it would imply that you know something about it. I mean, I guess. I don't know. I mean, it seems like from all of my years working at the FBI that if somebody had to know that he was going to go on exactly at that point and was waiting for him here. Yeah, I guess you're right.

I guess you're right. Oh, wow. I just don't want to. Wow. I just think that. I don't know. But so many times we've jumped to conclusions about so many stories. We just don't know.

We just don't know. But probably. Yeah. I mean, who's going to punch Chris Redd on the street? Yeah. But on the other hand, someone who worked for me got punched on the street not long ago. But I think they were hanging out here for a while. They were hanging out in wait? I believe so, right?

I don't know. And also that they were dressed like a security guard. Maybe they are a security guard. That's another thing. He's dressed like a security guard. Maybe he was a security guard. Could be. Not. He's dressed like a security guard. Nobody ever said maybe he was a security guard. Oh, could be. Not from here, but.

No, no, but just like they assumed it was not a security guard. That's hilarious, actually. She was dressed up as a nun. I don't know. It wasn't a nun. Anyway, yeah. All right. I'm feeling very, you know, cynical, but it's a terrible.

Our heart goes out to him and we hope he's OK. You know, I think he's OK. His stitches. Speaking of security, the law, the law underpunishes violent crime. I mean, you know, if they caught the guy who did this to him, unless the guy stole one hundred thousand dollars, they would treat it as a minor thing and let the guy out on the street the next day. I think this is crazy. People are traumatized by these violent crimes. And then there was this woman in Buffalo. You heard about that?

No. I forget her name. She had on video that her husband was kicking the shit out of her for like seven or eight minutes. He got arrested. They charged him with some kind of misdemeanor. There's no bail.

He got out and killed her. No. Yeah, yeah. It's a big story now. It's probably, not probably. I mean, I think with domestic violence, this is something that they worry about more so because domestic violence, often it happens that way.

I feel like anybody who puts their hands on anybody should go to jail for a certain amount of time. I think people underestimate the risk of violent crime and the trauma of violent crime and the civilizational breakdown that violent crime causes. Well, hopefully they find the guy. I mean, I assume if it was not a random crime, which it doesn't seem to be, there's a good chance they'll find him. I mean, Chris Redd obviously would know if indeed somebody out there means him harm, if he has any enemies, and I'm sure the police have interrogated

him, and hopefully... I don't know. If somebody was waiting for me, God forbid, and punched me, I wouldn't know who it was. Well... Why is that? Because so many people want to punch you? No, because I'm sure there are people who would want to punch me for something I said or did or whatever it is

right if it's something that he's politically motivated where he said something tweeted something or has a stance in his stand up act then that would yeah maybe that would be harder to find the guy if that's what it was if it was a personal vendetta then

you know then they might be able to find him or if they have an image of him on camera, but I believe he's wearing a mask, so there's not much to say. Now, I have something I want to talk about. Do you have something else on your agenda? Well, I was going to talk about Steve, but... Okay, we can talk about Steve.

Well, let's talk about Steve after this. Maybe Rachel might want to chime in on Steve. This attack on Nancy Pelosi's husband? Yeah, I don't know much about that, but just get me up to date if you would. Well, somebody, a crazy man, conspiracy theory believer, was angry at Nancy Pelosi for something political, I'm sure, and smashed her husband on the head.

But anyway, this is... Broke into her house, right? I mean, it happens in that house. Yeah, broke into her house and hit her husband on the head. But anyway, this is... Broke into her house, right? I mean, it happens in that house. Yes, broke into her house and hit her husband on the head with a hammer. 82-year-old man. He fractured his skull or something. It's terrible.

So there was all these stories because Elon Musk, I mean, inexplicably, I mean, what? He'll never wash this off. Elon Musk tweeted out this conspiracy theory about this being Paul Pelosi's gay prostitute. Like, just crazy stuff. Oh, my God.

I can't even. But, and on top of that, there's so much about this. But the most recent thing is the Washington Post had this whole story about the security that they had on Nancy Pelosi's house. They have, I guess it was in Washington, they have a mission control there with the house on camera, with alarms. Like there's a whole like system set up to protect the homes of,

they didn't pick up on the guy, they weren't watching the guy. It's outrageous. Yeah. So, well, you outrageous. You think it's outrageous, I guess, but people can't believe this. They'll say, why don't you have a camera?

The difference between executing security and getting a camera is the difference between me putting a long division problem in front of you and you solving it. It's so difficult to make this stuff work.

And this is why people who couldn't believe that Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide, they're so naive because there's such incompetence in this kind of stuff. Cameras are out. Nobody's watching the camera. If you can believe, and we know it's true, that nobody was watching Nancy Pelosi's home as a guy broke in and smashed the husband over the head with a hammer, whatever it is, you certainly should be able to believe that nobody's watching Jeffrey Epstein's jail cell to see if he was committing suicide. Get it? They're not watching. That's how he committed suicide. The same way Paul Pelosi got killed, that's how Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide. He didn't get killed, Paul Pelosi. Whatever, yeah.

That's how Jeffrey Epstein. So everybody just needs to recalibrate why it is they thought that Jeffrey Epstein couldn't have committed suicide. Well, I don't think you're going to convince any people to thought that because those people are generally conspiracy minds. I'm not a conspiracy. No, I know a lot of reasonable people that went on. This one, I just can't believe he. Yeah. How could he commit suicide in a cell? They have conspiracy. No, I know a lot of reasonable people that went on this one. I just can't believe he. Yeah. How could he commit suicide in a cell?

They have cameras. No. I don't even think it was just because of that. I just think that he's, I just don't think he committed suicide. The guy was like. You don't think he committed. No, I don't. We've had this conversation many times.

I don't. Why? Do you think he committed suicide? I believe he committed suicide. Yes. Because if he didn't commit suicide, there's a lot of people that had to be involved in the murder and cover-up. Okay, why is that?

Nobody's talking, and nobody... The prison would have to be involved. The people who... Not necessarily. The prison wouldn't necessarily... Do you know how many people get killed in jail? Do you know how many powerful people had an interest in Jeffrey Epstein

dying and never being able to say a word? But anyway, so he was set up for suicide. He's hanging. They found him hanging. And someone has to get in and out of his cell and hang him.

First of all, how do you hang somebody that easily without a struggle? The whole thing is ridiculous to me. They could have immobilized him first. Yeah, maybe they might have had like a nerve agent. Yeah. And then you'd have to get the,

you'd have to get the, the amount of people would have to be involved. The autopsy guy would have to be involved. Okay, if he was paid off. No, no, no, that's not true.

The autopsy found evidence that it could have been either. As a matter of fact, I think one autopsy even implied that it wasn't suicide, but that was Michael Bodden. He's the autopsy for hire. Only Noam would know the name of the guy who does autopsies for hire.

Because he was in the OJ trial. Anyway, so that's that and then something else has been bothering me about this Paul Pelosi now I've been arguing with a friend of mine he used to be a producer on MSNBC and I like him I know he listens to this podcast and maybe he's right but I've been very upset with the President of the

United States because he came out and he blamed Republican rhetoric for this attack. And I'll stipulate that it could have been Republican rhetoric, which brought the temperature up high enough that this crazy person acted on it. But what bothers me is that, did you know, let's do a little news quiz. Did you know that somebody is charged with attempted murder for trying to, for showing up to kill Kavanaugh? Did I know that somebody was, is what?

Somebody. Let's start. Do you know who Kavanaugh is? Shut up. Yes. God. Who is he? The rapist judge. Yeah. He's start. Do you know who Kavanaugh is? Shut up. Yes. Go on. Who is he? The rapist judge.

Yeah. He's a justice in court. So he had somebody show up at his house with a Glock and zip ties. And by the way, there were headlines about the zip ties here. Harkins back to. Okay. Somebody showed up outside his house with a Glock gun and zip ties. The police happened to catch him.

Yeah. They stopped the guy, and he admitted he was there to kill Kavanaugh. Okay. The guy was charged with attempted murder. Doing the Lord's work. Now, don't make jokes like that. It's attempted murder even though he didn't shoot, he didn't get a shot off. That's an interesting question, because also attempted murder,

even though the guy who showed up for Pelosi said that he just wanted to break her kneecap. So I don't know how the, but be that as it may, they're both charged with attempted murder. It was covered, but it was undercover. I mean, almost nobody knows he was charged with attempted murder. Okay.

The president did not even comment on it himself. but it was undercover. I mean, almost nobody knows he was charged with attempted murder. Okay. The president did not even comment on it himself. His press secretary went out and said the president strongly condemns this action, whatever it is. And nor did the president comment on what was clearly, you know, just as obvious the case, that it was the rhetoric,

anti-Supreme Court rhetoric, which could have led, which certainly did lead this guy to show up at Kavanaugh's house to kill him. And prior to that, actually, they were showing up, they were, people were protesting outside the homes of the Supreme Court justices, and they asked the previous press secretary, Jen Psaki, about it. She said, well, that's democracy. And there's a law about protesting outside Supreme Court justices' house, which Merrick Garland didn't enforce. So, you know, I think it's absolutely true that the rhetoric is out of control on both sides and that this can filter down to crazy people who become violent.

And people with some self-respect and integrity ought to bear that in mind when they say things. But for the president to not even bother to comment on the Kavanaugh thing, and then now that it happened again, what would it take for the leader of the whole country to say, this is terrible what happened to Pelosi, the rhetoric has got to stop, this is probably spurred on by the January 6th thing, and by the way, it's not just on NASA, we all have to do it, because let's not forget that somebody also showed up to kill one of our Supreme Court justices.

So the whole country needs to bear this in mind and lower the temperature. Wouldn't a fucking president of all the people say such a thing? Now, maybe I'm resenting it for no reason. No, I think that that's reasonable. So he didn't say anything about Kavanaugh or about Pelosi? He said a lot about Pelosi. He said he said what he said. He said righteous stuff about Pelosi. That is terrible. Well, he said some righteous stuff about it.

And he and he blamed the rhetoric. And. You know, I can't nobody can dismiss. There's two questions. One question is whether somebody did something because of rhetoric. And the next question is, does that mean somebody shouldn't have said something? You know, Charles Manson was hearing orders to kill in the Beatles song Helter Skelter, right? And people say high-charged things, and they ought to be able to say highly charged things. London Breed was somebody, you know, we call to arms. We got to fight. You know, Chuck Schumer said, you know, we're reckoning. So people say stuff.

So, you know, I don't know where everybody where it crosses over. Yeah. Well, that's not an excuse to. But one thing is for sure. The political temperature is very, very hot. I think it's even more... They're both pretty likely, but given what was going on with Roe versus Wade, given the fact

that Kavanaugh didn't even write that opinion, the Dobbs opinion, that was Garland. I mean, Alito. But Kavanaugh was the one who everybody hates. He's the gang rapist. He's, you know, all these stories about him, all which fizzled, right? So you do—it is likely that all the attacks on him as being a rapist, all the stuff that you're saying now, this all in a pressure cooker. And then the Dobbs decision, which he voted for, led to some crazy person traveling cross country to kill Kavanaugh.

That seems totally plausible, right? OK. And you'd think the president. Who is he's head of the Democratic Party, but he's also the president of the United States. You wouldn't think he'd be pulling teeth for him to say, listen, but this is too much. No. Can't say it.

Anyway, that's my feeling about it. It's not because you have an affinity for Kavanaugh. You're just saying that because you don't think you want it to be fair on both sides. You're saying that... Listen, I like Kavanaugh and I kind of like Nancy Pelosi. I mean, I don't agree with Nancy Pelosi, but I don't have any hatred it to be fair on both sides. You're saying that... Listen, I like Kavanaugh, and I kind of like Nancy Pelosi. I mean, I don't agree with Nancy Pelosi,

but I don't have any hatred of Nancy Pelosi. Suddenly, the idea of somebody coming to attack her, let alone attack her husband. Yeah, it's horrible. I mean, this is a 82-year-old man. No, it's horrible. No, I know. I'm saying it's obviously horrible.

But so is somebody showing up. Just the whole way the story is, something has gone wrong where almost nobody I knew. Yeah, I didn't know about the Kavanaugh story. Yeah, like, what is that? It's also a little bit less spectacular because. Well, okay, but let's imagine if somebody showed up outside Ketanji Jackson's house with a gun and zip ties. You think you wouldn't have heard about that? Yeah, I probably would have heard about that.

Yeah, I think we would. Even if they caught the guy or her right outside, that would be a bigger story. In some way, I'm sure, I have a pretty good grasp of human nature. The people who write for these big outlets, it pains them to write anything or to give too much energy to a story

which in the end is an indictment of the people who are protesting the doctors. It's hard for them. Speaking of the Supreme Court, isn't there something going on with Harvard and the Supreme Court and your favorite topic? Yeah, they're finally going to end, I believe, they're finally going to end the universities using race

as a way to keep people out. And to get people in. And to get people in. And to get people in. But I think this is more about using it to keep people out. I mean, zero sum, right? But I mean, I heard yesterday a report, you know, they have these interviews, these holistic things.

They have these interviews and they, so they have test scores, blah, blah, blah. But they also want to know all about you. So they interview you to see what your personality is like. Asians scored the lowest, having the worst personality. Yeah, we've discussed. No, no, but you don't know the other part. And black people scored the highest.

Which is just, isn't it obvious what's going on there? What's going on there? They are trying to hedge against the scores and all the grades. So they have another round of consideration. Personality? Lo and behold, the people with the highest scores have the worst personalities. So they can even it all out that way. How are you measuring good personality? In an interview with a non-Asian person, obviously, because I'm sure the Asian, an Asian admissions officer wouldn't rank the Asian person.

It's so fucking foul. Yeah, that sounds so horrible. What's funny about Perrielle is that we've talked about this like five times. We've talked about this so many times that Dan's like, please don't bring this up again. And Perrielle's reacting to it

like the first time she heard it. It is the first time I'm hearing it. I mean, I probably zoned out because it's just... So what's before the Supreme Court? That they cannot use an interview as criteria? I don't really know what the issue, but it's in some way, they're just not allowed to use racial quotas. Okay.

Racial, and I think that's right. The truth is, if they would simply have affirmative action for African Americans and let's say they wanted to say – I don't think it could plausibly be the same number of spots as there are black people in the population only for the reason that we know this is tragic what I'm about to say but we know how the public school systems are so horrible you just wouldn't

you can't have the kind of 40, 50, 60% of young kids in public schools not being able to read and then expect to have an equal number of the population at Harvard. I think that's a stretch. But let's say they did. Let's say 10% of the spots at Harvard were going to be for descendants of

slaves because of what we did to black people. I don't know. I have principled reasons that I might oppose that, but if that worked for the greater group, like, okay, it's not the end of the world, right? Who's getting all bent out of shape about that? That's fine.

It's the fact that they then are taking a bean counter for every other group. So let's have 10% of the spots for black people and let's treat the other 90% of humans the same, right could live with that but the idea of signaling out asians because we don't want too many asians that is so foul it's un-american it's exactly what they did to the jews and yet jews are supporting it fucking jews well i kanye was right i don't know uh well, I assume some are supporting it, some are not supporting it. Well, Jews support these liberal... I just feel like if somebody had been taking personality into account when I was applying for college,

I probably would have gone to a much better school. Doing something under the table is not a personality barrier. And then there's a question of how much is going to a better school, at the end of the day, going to benefit you if you're not qualified to do the work while you're there. Well, maybe you learn how to, maybe you become more qualified. And also, as we all know, a lot of that, you know, having connections is very helpful, having access to things.

Look, it's not race. People who are disadvantaged, people who overachieve for their profile in life. In other words, rich, private school tutors gets this grade. Working class, broken home, poor, Mississippi. Notice I didn't mention lousy public schools gets almost the same grade. It's totally reasonable to say, you know what, we're going to weight that lower grade as equal or better than this person

who had a silver spoon in his mouth. That's totally, who could argue with that? Doesn't require race. Right. And and if if black people are overrepresented in that pool of people who's given special dispensation because they've had a more difficult background, then that's fine. Anybody who objects to that. But my kids are not white, right? My kids are mixed race. Is there any reason anybody can come up with that my kids ought to get extra allowance when they apply to a school? It's crazy. I mean, I hope they get it.

They're definitely not marking white on their college application. At the end of the day, I don't know how big a difference it's going to make long term. Instead of going to Harvard, they got to go to Michigan or Penn. I mean, I don't know how big a difference. It's a big difference. Do you think? Yeah, I think it's a big difference. I mean, I think there aren't too many people on Harvard who came out coming out of Harvard who are turning down small offers.

Now, there's a great middle of universities where maybe it's not that clear, but the very, very top schools, I think it's a big difference. By the way, Dershowitz said on his show that he only got in the 94th percentile. Is it percentile or percentile? Well, is it percentile or what?

How do you pronounce the word? I pronounce it percentile. Percentile. He only got in the 94th percentile on his LSATs. Dershowitz. Yeah. How did you think you could have pronounced that? Percentile?

Percentile. Who ever heard of that? Well, I've never heard anyone. You know what it is? I'll tell you. I said it that way when I was like in the second grade when I first read it. Yeah. And it always, way when I was like in the second grade when I first read it. Yeah. And it always, and then I was corrected.

And I know it's percentile, but that mispronunciation has stayed with me my entire life. It's always like, wait. Say it again? Because. Just say it. Percentile. And then say your version of it? Percentile.

Okay. Both of them are... We know what you're getting at, but... What the fuck is with you? What are we getting at? So you expected him to be 99, I guess. Yeah, yeah. He went to Harvard Law? He went to Yale. He graduated first in his class.

Alright. So what does that tell us? You know, it's pretty interesting that he didn't have a stellar LSAT. It's stellar, you know, 94th percentile. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty interesting that he didn't have a stellar LSAT, a stellar 94th percentile. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty good, isn't it? In your family. But first in his class at Yale, you would think it would be higher. No, well, no, I meant that in terms of his accomplishments in being the youngest criminal law professor in the Ivy League, in terms of his intellectual firepower and accomplishments, you would have thought he'd be at the very top of testing,

but he wasn't. And so it made me think that, A, there's a bigger margin of error on these tests than we realize. But more importantly, it made me think that for every discipline, there's only so much intelligence you need before the law of diminishing returns kicks in, meaning that legal reasoning is not quantum physics. Well, I always said that. I don't think being a lawyer is that tricky necessarily. So you need to know. But to be a great lawyer, you need to be smart.

Yeah. But probably being smart enough to get in the 94th percentile on the LSATs is good enough to be able to allow you to understand 100% of the challenging things in the law. But the same kind of score on a STEM admissions test or whatever would never get you near a physics lab and be able to contribute. It never get you near a physics lab and be able to contribute. It might get you near a physics lab, but it wouldn't get you to the very highest echelon. It wouldn't get you to Stephen Hawking. No, it just wouldn't.

You need to be maybe top 10th of 1% to make breakthroughs in physics. Legal concepts aren't really that hard. And it's not, as you said, quantum physics. Now, I bought Quantum Physics for Dummies. Is there such a book? Yes, there is. And it's a dummies book for everything, and I've been

trying to read it, and I guess I'm not a dummy because I don't understand what they're saying. Well, you can't, there's no such thing as quantum physics for dummies. Dummies shouldn't be studying quantum physics in the first place. Or as my joke is, quantum physics for dummies should just be, open be studying quantum physics in the first place. Or as my joke is, quantum physics for dummies should just be opened up and says you're going to have to cheat.

I wanted it dumbed down. It talks about particles and waves and light is both a particle and a wave. I'm supposed to understand what a particle and a wave are. And then they give formulas. Stephen Hawking wrote a book called A Brief History of Time. It was supposed to be the layman's guide to

whatever that is. Astrophysics. It was supposed to be the layman's guide to whatever that is, you know, astrophysics. And it was incomprehensible, you know, to me anyway, and I'm not dumb. So, you know, I would imagine it's incomprehensible to many people. Periel? I'm just waiting. You know, it's like gluons and then spinning and I don't know. But there's no easy way to explain the origins of matter, the workings of the universe.

Some things just aren't meant for the lay population. All the matter in the universe, including time, by the way, was contained in a ball of mass the size of the head of a pin. And then it exploded and it continues and created an infinite universe. Makes perfect sense. Who couldn't

understand that? Well, first of all, I don't know that the universe is necessarily infinite. That's not a... An infinitely expanding universe. So how could you not believe in energy? Some people think the universe is infinite and some people think it's not infinite. You keep going far enough, you come back to the other side. Wait, what's that parallel? So then how could you not believe

in energy? What do you mean? He does believe in energy. No, he doesn't. And we've talked about this with souls and energy. Oh, you're talking about souls, energy

is not the same thing. Well, I don't know. That's debatable. Some people say it is. That there's energy comprised in your body and when you die that energy still exists.

Well, but there is something in quality. The energy still exists but you're saying something else. No one doesn't even want to engage you. I do, but there is something in quantum physics, and it is actually related to what you're saying. I know.

There is something in quantum physics about taking an atom or something and sending it off to two different parts of the universe. And somehow, if you measure the rotation on this atom, that measurement will then affect the rotation on the other atom that's in a totally different, as if they're somehow connected in some way. Right, that's what I've been saying. In a way that classical physics can't explain.

That's not what you've been saying. Well, no, it's not what she's saying, but it certainly opens the door to the idea. Not really, I guess, but... But in some sense, it opens the door to the idea that something could be totally beyond our ability to comprehend. Well, that's for sure. Obviously, we can't comprehend these things. It doesn't necessarily mean that

the explanation is God. But my question is, if you think that your soul lives on an energy, which version of your soul? Is it when you're a baby? Is it when you're in your 20s? Is it when you have dementia? Like, what exactly...

What will I be when I leave this mortal coil? That's a good question. I hadn't thought of that, had you? No, I have thought of that. I think that it's not when you're a baby, though. I think it's... Did you exist before you were a baby?

Well, the Jews think that you did. So it's... But if we exist... Now, did you exist before you were a baby? Well, the Jews think that you did. So it's a reincarnation? Well, I don't know. Maybe. I don't know how... I mean, a lot of... So most souls waiting in heaven are Chinese? I'm just asking you

what you think. I don't think that most souls in heaven are Chinese. This is a classic thing, Dan, because there are people out there, like you and I are different. You start with something and you can't help but thinking it through in a certain way. What if I believe that?

And this means that it must be blissful. To be able to say, I believe in energy. And just stop. That's all I need, I believe in energy and just stop. Like, that's all I need. I believe in energy. La-di-da. The expression on his face is priceless. Well, it's like, you know, Woody Allen was talking about, you know, how he, you know, Woody Allen was talking about going to a party and meeting people that are just, they believe in God.

And he's like making fun of them. But then again, but then again, you know, they're probably happier than me. Yeah. So who wins? Well, there's also that sort of adage that says, you know, when you die, you're not sad when you die. It's just everybody else. Okay, but I'm not sure that's related to me. Well, let me finish.

Instead, it's the same thing when you're stupid. It's just you don't know you're stupid. You're just making everybody else's. All right, that's't know you're stupid. You're just making everybody else's. Okay, all right. That's related. That was smart. All right, so that's all I have to say

about the week. We're waiting on Rachel Feinstein. I think a lot of people really think that they're gifting people with their daily Facebook thoughts. Like, they really think

they're stepping up onto some sort of like a Facebook balcony and just doling this brilliance out to all the peasants, you know? There's some sort of a lord, like, "'Here you are, you're welcome, peasants.

"'Now you know how to think, I'll lead you.'" It's always some pointless bullshit, too. There's this one guy, and his Facebook statuses infuriate me. His last status, he just wrote, "'We need to put an end to genocide once and for all, people. That's what he gave us. I'm like, thank you so much for your controversial stance on genocide.

I was staunchly pro-genocide before I read your shattering Facebook expose. He has no idea I'm in this rage cycle with his facebook page like every morning i get up i don't even remember how i know him i think we might have worked at a pizza place together when i was like 15 now literally every morning i leap to his page before even brushing my teeth and i'm like what the fuck is it now kevin oh i will say will say this. I think I can say this. I had a conversation with my trans friend. One of my trans friends. I'm not virtue singing, but I have

a few trans friends. And she was... I noticed she was being forgetful. And she was all concerned about the forgetfulness. And I was like, well, what about the fact that you're taking testosterone blockers?

She's like, yeah, I have zero testosterone. And I'm like, well, you know, one of the classic symptoms of low T, if you watch any commercial, is forgetfulness. And she was like, it is? I'm like, yes. There's all sorts of symptoms of low T, like being sluggish and feeling run down and

forgetfulness and having trouble focusing. Didn't your doctor discuss any of these with you as they're giving you 100% testosterone block? She's like, no. And I just thought that was wrong. Not that she shouldn't take it.

That's not even my point. My point is that it's heavy medicine, right? It's not a woman who has no, I mean, not a biological woman who has no testosterone. It's a trans woman who has no testosterone. And you'd think that they would at least be informed of the likely side effects of blocking 100%. Well, let's get her doctor on the show.

I would love to, but you follow me? Yeah, I'm following you. So I'm like telling her, hi, Rachel. I was telling her like don't worry about your forgetfulness. It's not dementia. It's not cognitive decline. It's probably just that you're taking testosterone blockers. I don't know.

Are there any doctors out there? I'm sure that it's like – so then I even Googled to make sure. It's like you, it's like nobody even discusses that with them. Well, that's not, we should something we should get into with a doctor because it could be something we're missing or maybe not,

but that's an interesting question that we should, if we can explore. Rachel Feinstein. Hello. Hi. I thought you guys were talking about me at first. Cause I'm like shedding debit cards every week. I'm forgetting

everything. Have you checked your testosterone level? My testosterone is fucking low. Well, women don't have any. Do women have any testosterone? Yeah, they have some. I think we have a whisper. And actually, they say that testosterone is responsible for sex drive in women. I've read that.

Really? Yeah. I do notice that guys under my videos online say a lot of lovely things. One of them is, man voice wouldn't fuck her because of the man voice. So that always stays with me, and it's really helpful. Let me see if I got it. That's not true.

That's not the reason. I read all my comments. Some guy named Mr. Twat Waffles said that like seven years ago, and it still haunts me. They would do. Yeah. Well, you probably shouldn't read all your comments. You can't do it. Can you introduce Rachel? Rachel Feinstein.

Rachel Louise Feinstein. Do we have a formal intro for her? I don't know. She's a comedy star. My grandmother used to sing a song. I could sing that. I know. Eyes so brown, cheeks so round, lips like cherry wine. Everybody stop beating off. The sweetest girl I know

in town is Rachel Louise Feinstein. That's amazing. I know. It was Feinstein. Yes, Feinstein. He said Feinstein. He always says it wrong. Was it Feinstein? Yes, Feinstein. But nobody pronounces it that way. Everybody that introduces you here says... Half the people say it wrong.

What's the point of bothering? You're going by Artie? I think everybody says Rachel Feinstein. Everybody, generally speaking, when you're discussed, it's Rachel Feinstein. Fine as wine. The good news is you're discussed in a very positive way, even if your name is mispronounced. The reason I asked Perrielle to invite Rachel on is because Rachel always has been funny, but I believe has in recent, whether it's months or years, but I would say maybe the past year has reached a new level. It's Rachel 2.0.

And I'm not the only one who says this. That's not true. I mean, that is true. That is everybody. In all seriousness, everybody says that Rachel's on fire these days. Oh, really? Absolutely true. That'll get me through the weekend.

Thank you. I needed that. And a lot of it's to do with the material that she has about being married. Firefighter stuff helps. Her relationship and the contrast between you and your husband, which I invite you to if you want to summarize what that contrast is. Well, my family is aggressively liberal. I talk about it on stage. My mom would have preferred probably if I married a Nigerian lesbian than an Irish Catholic fireman. And his family, yeah, I mean, it's weird. It's political without being political.

I come from like Jewy over shares. You know, like, they talk about, like, purchases. Like, what you got at Costco or what you're going to get at Costco. Like, they talk about crypto. You mean your husband's family. My husband's family. And the Foyafoitas. Yeah.

I mean, you were, you know, at my wedding. And you were there. I think, like, my dad, he didn't even give me a wedding toast. It was just, like like a speech about immigration. He didn't mention it. Yeah, I remember that. Remember that? It was a speech about...

Immigration. He didn't mention me or Pete once. It was a speech about diversity. Yes, diversity. What the fuck does that have to do with me getting married, Dad? Jesus. He did mention that you went married to an Irish person, and so did, I think, your brother.

He was like, we've got people from everywhere. We have Colombia. This is what America's about. I'm like, we've got people from everywhere. We have Columbia. This is what America's about. I'm like, Dad, this is about a wedding. Excuse me. What I remember from your wedding, most of all, was Sherrod gave a very good speech. Oh, my God, yes, Sherrod.

Off the top of his head. He was very good, right? At one point, Sherrod stood up, and he's like, I remember when I was, he looks at my brother, because I was roommates with Sherrod for years, and he's like, I remember when I was roommates with Rachel. You were in baby pajamas. You were in PJs, footiey pjs to my brother who's like a grown man now which

wasn't true he was a grown man then but he was like he got up in the middle of the in the middle of the wedding i'm like praying my mother-in-law doesn't understand half of this you know because people are speaking so fast and in the middle of his speech she goes how many of your friends did i fuck how many of your friends did i fuck? How many of your friends did I fuck, Rachel? And I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And then he goes, stand up if I fucked you. Stand up if I fucked you. And then Tom Papa slowly stood up,

and he was like, hmm. Judy Gold stood up. She's like, well. That was so funny. But can I tell you something? Maybe, you know, we can cut anything out you want here. I don't care. Maybe I won't care.

One of the things I really like about your relationship with Pete, although he's the greatest guy ever, and he makes all of us feel like little girls. You've said that before, but I don't feel he makes me feel like a little girl. Oh, he makes me feel like a little girl. Because I've never even had a fight. I've never been tested in terms of bravery in any way. Right.

And this fucking guy is anxious to run into a burning building to save strangers. He doesn't even know what color they are. I know. I'm kidding. But what I like about it is that I don't know his politics but I know he's a fireman so if he's not pro-Trump he's Trump adjacent and he's certainly not offended by Trump because you can't be

offended by people who support Trump and be in that profession which is as it should be because people are He's not political really he probably is more libertarian but he doesn't really it's hard for me to scream at him, though, about voting because he's a technical hero.

So I can't be like, you need to vote. Like, and it's like, he's also going to go, like, save people. But I try to push him to, like... But the fact that you're comfortable with those... And I don't know what his... It's my type. Like, I talk about it on stage. I'm like a thick-necked working class, you know?

Well, and that his family's probably... Some of them got to be pro-Trump. There's no way a firefighter family- Why are you so excited that they're maybe pro-Trump? No, because, and then Amy is a very good friend of yours. Yes. And Amy hates Trump, hates Trump. And yet the whole lot of you get along

with a lot of warm- Everybody can get around firemen. Amy was at the firehouse the other day. And I just think that speaks well of all of warm. Everybody can get around fire. And Amy was at the firehouse the other day. And I, and I just, I just think that speaks well of all of you. I just like that. I don't,

I've just, I've always, I've seen that dynamic and I said, well, I just think that's really, that should be listened to everybody. Yes. I do feel like that.

I feel like that is a lot of the special. It's not, it's like a lot of the way we communicate without being overtly, you know, political because I'm just not, I'm not a good, I don't write political jokes. I can't really do that. But we can, we come from just opposite, very opposing perspectives. You know what I'm saying? And like, I mean, my dad,

running to like a burning building, my dad has a never ending sinus infection. He can't fix it. Like he doesn't know how to operate a fuse box. But your father was a civil rights lawyer, which takes some degree of bravery. Bravery, certainly. But he doesn't have that physical bravery. It's just a different set of things that were discussed at my dinner table than at his. You know what I'm saying?

It's a whole other fucking world. It's chewy bravery. Yes, exactly. It's a different style of bravery. But it's like he was... But you know what? They're a lot like comics, firefighters. Because they are besides the fact

that we're the real heroes i'm such a twat i'm like but we're like the same really we're like narcissists so there you know but i mean no but i mean like they get on you know they work these weird hours they have this weird insular community that nobody else understands but themselves like like if you walk into the firehouse kitchen, it's like the same energy as just like some drunk twat walking up to the comedy cellar table. Like it's like there, there it's like the,

the chemicals change when a civilian walks up, you know what I mean? Right, right, right. And it's the same, like when a non-comic comes up, because we have this weird life that nobody else quite understands.

And it's very similar. And also that like comics, there's no PC. Like you could say anything to each other and they don't give a shit. So in that way, they're a good fucking hang. Fireman. And I'm aroused by most of them. I also think that you get like a pass if you're a fireman. Yeah.

There's no like defund the firefighter movement. Exactly. So it's the political thing. It's like if you're a cop and you have those politics, it's dicey. But if you're a fireman or a firefighter and you do, it's like what Rachel said. You're a technical hero. Yeah. It's hard to argue about.

And we did once. We had an argument because on our honeymoon, I was like, I was arguing with him about the window seat. And I'm like, it's like the ultimate was arguing with him about the window seat. And I'm like, it's like the ultimate sacrifice if I gave you the window seat. And he's like, it's not the ultimate sacrifice. I'm like, yes, it is. The window seat to Bali?

He's like, it's not. Do you remember all the pussy that firemen had thrown at them after 9-11? Oh my God, a surplus of puss. And some of them just got on. They didn't deserve it. That was like back puss owed to the other guys. It was crazy.

Insane. That wasn't a good time to date a fireman. I mean, you got to wait till that puss storm is over. Yeah. Yeah. No reasonable man could not jump into that puss ring. It was crazy. Well, I remember.

I've never seen anything like that. That was the perception. I wasn't hanging around firemen, so I don't know what exactly. I like that. You'd see it on the street. Yeah. It was crazy. I've never seen anything like that.

My friend, I don't know if you know Irene Bremes. She's hilarious, gorgeous, really funny. She's the one that set you up with your husband? She introduced me to Pete, and I was hanging out at steakhouses because I thought men hang out at steakhouses. Well, they do. I've advised women to go to steakhouses. That's a good policy she was with the steakhouse bar with me and she was like sweetie this is getting a little old

she's like i'll get you a fireman if you want because i was just hanging at steakhouse bars like leering and stream wait how did she know pete her her husband is a retired firefighter oh that's right okay yeah he um he actually named um his his he had a pizza place around the corner that closed down in COVID, sadly. But he named it after one of the firefighters, Fury, that died in 9-11. And he was and Pete, he was, you know, close friends with him and had been retired for years. And and his his son, he's a lot irene and his son is around our age so he worked with pete so he just texted you know his son like can you get a firefighter for regional and they texted me like two options back pretty fast perry will ask questions sometimes and i

think i think i think myself she must know something like this she's got to be it's got to be a leading question because this is not a kind of question of the audience like it's like so it's like so minute and detailed. I said, Peril must know that there's some good backstory here. Yeah, it's an interesting story. Not just like page 472

of some fucking legal dossier. So, Rachel, when I listen to your ad... Well, here's how I just... Sorry, one more thing about what you're asking about how we met. Here's how I was described to Pete. This is better. His buddy calls him up and he goes, how would you like to meet a semi-famous Jewish jokester? That was the, have you heard of Lesser Vows?

Yeah, I think you said that during your speech at the wedding, your vows or something. Yeah. How you brought that up. And that's true. Jewish jokester. Yes, that's how I was described. And he was like, I'm in. He's like, yeah, why not? I thought it was kind of interesting. described. And he was like, I'm in. He's like, yeah,

why not? I thought it was kind of interesting. I was like, did you watch my stand-up? He's like, eh, I didn't watch it. Now, around the house, if I didn't know he was a firefighter, would I see a kind of at ease with fire that surprised me? Like when he cooks or when he makes stars? No.

They are like fire cocky, so they don't give a shit. And I'm like, that's dangerous. But they have like cockiness because they're firemen. He lights a candle by taking a fucking paper towel and putting it in flame. I probably shouldn't say this.

But anyway, he'll walk it over to a candle. I'm like, you can't do that. He's like, yeah, because he knows he can put it out. Oh my God, that's amazing. That's a good question. You see that? They're like, they're like,

I'm not worried about a fire. Like, I can handle a fire. What are you worried about, sweetie? He's like, I could put that out with the can.

Well, does he have his... What's it called? Extinguisher? Yes, the can. He's like, put it out with the can

if I had to. But he doesn't have his equipment at home. Does he have his like, you know, the oxygen tank and the mask? He doesn't have that at home

if he needs to escape the apartment. He has his gear at home a at home if he needs to escape the apartment. He has his gear at home a lot because he moves around to different firehouses. He finally just got like a regular spot. But so he does have his gear at home a lot. And we got bunker gear for Frankie, my daughter. So she's wearing her gear downstairs. What does bunker gear mean?

I got her a little jacket, like a foie foie jacket with his name on the back. That's so cute. I've seen that in, I I think your Instagram reels. But when I watch your act, I say to myself, this is funny, but how the fuck is this marriage possibly going to work?

Well, he drives me insane. That's why I have like a lot of material because I'm pulsing with fury at him all the time. But you drive him insane too. I'm sure, yes. She won't leave him

if it's good for her act. No. I mean, the material is really good. Cling on to him with all four. Because emotionally, he's a desert.

You know what I mean? Like, this is what it feels like to on to him with all four. Because emotionally, he's a desert. You know what I mean? Like, this is what it feels like to be married to a first responder. You know, like, when you watch, like, Forensic Files and you hear those 911 calls and the woman's like, he's chasing me. Like, there's a man that's going to kill me. He's got a fucking knife. He's going to kill me. And the woman's like, ma'am, ma'am, your address, ma'am. Like, that's what it feels like because they don't, like, attend to you emotionally because they're used to dealing yelling at him and he's saying ma'am calm down i'm like not so much of a yeller

but i'll be like do you not understand how that would make me feel you know and he's just like he doesn't get it what's oblivious like i was about to go on stage it was amy's netflix special so i'm like about to go on stage for the netflix special i'm like you need to send me something like you've got it he forgets he doesn't you know so i'm about to go on stage he sends me something i'm like i can't open this what is it i figured it'd be like a picture of a flower i'm like well it's something it's a step obviously he should have sent actual flowers i i was like i can't open this i'm about to go on for the netflix special what is it he goes gas bill sorry that's what it feels like. And don't worry, I just took a COVID test.

It's not COVID, I'm losing my voice. A gas bill. That's amazing. A gas bill. That's what it feels like. Maybe we should just get him on. Has he been injured? Has he been burned?

God forbid. No, he hasn't been burned. He went into a bad fire recently. His 118 is firehouse. And a friend of his was burned, but he was fine. He's okay. He burned his ears a little bit. That was a scary fire.

That was probably the first one he's been in where I've been worried. Because he always FaceTimes my daughter in the morning. I mean, it wasn't FaceTiming. I'm like, yeah, he always FaceTimes. As soon as he had a kid, it was like, I figured out that, that like he loved her so much more than me because he would like race home for the firehouse all of a sudden.

It'd be every reason he had to stay there. Hey, we have a coffee, hang it up. But I was like, if he doesn't pick up, something's up. And he was at a fire that I, that I Google usually. Right, that's what I was going to say.

Your questions are all about, do you know what it feels like for her to be married to somebody who's doing such dangerous things? That's a good question. Wait, so you're going to criticize Noam's question first? Yeah. Because he's just asking about Pete. What is the danger compared to police officers in terms of death and injury on the line of duty for a fireman versus a cop?

They say the fisherman is actually the most dangerous. No, I actually looked up, like this is what I do. Commercial fish? I look at a fire just to terrorize myself because I am a neurotic Jew. I looked up like most dangerous jobs and it's like, yeah, truckers, more dangerous, like weird things you wouldn't think about. I believe that fire over the years has become much, much safer than it used to be because, first of all, there's way fewer fires and the technology to fight them is much better.

Well, they complain about that too. They'll be like, Manhattan, no good jobs. Too many fucking sprinklers. It's like, too many sprinkles in Manhattan. We don't get any good jobs anymore. So they go, Brooklyn burns. They love working in Brooklyn because it burns more. Years ago on the Fab Black Pussycat,

the sprinkler saved one of the waiters, who you all know, threw a cigarette in the trash can and left the place, and the place caught on fire, but the sprinklers put the whole thing out. Oh, my God. But it is nerve-wracking for you.

You do get nervous when he goes to work, and then she is. She's like Googling fires. Yeah, I mean, you get used to it like anything else, but if if i know that he is in a fire yeah i'm nervous while he's yeah of course yeah freaking out yeah i'm like looping and and and it's weird that i don't have more updates available to me than just googling fdny fire again but that's what i do until i and then uh and i'll text different people to see if they're

working or if they've gotten word or whoever the house guy is. Actually, one time I was here and I ordered wings to bring to the firehouse and, um, I get all the way there and, uh, they're like, oh, he's downtown. I'm like, where? He's like, he's at the trade center. I'm like, he's at the fucking trade center. Why? You know? And it was like, this is before we had a kid. It was like two in the morning. I, so I like, I cabbed down there. Center? Why? You know? And it was like, this is before we had a kid. It was like two in the morning. So I like, I cabbed down there. I was freaking out. You guys, there was all these firemen and cops and everything just like all around.

You couldn't get anywhere near them. Well, even by the Trade Center. The old Trade Center. The Freedom Tower. The Freedom Tower. Sorry. The Freedom Towers. They're like, he's at the Freedom Towers.

So you can't even see. It's like a rows of cops and firemen. I'm like weeping. I'm like, I have the wings, by the way. I was holding up the wings the entire time. I didn like a rose of cops and firemen. I'm like weeping. I'm like, I have the wings, by the way. I was holding up the wings the entire time. I didn't let go because they're fucking good. I'm holding onto the wings. I'm like, where's my husband?

Turns out he was doing a drill. A middle of the night drill that they don't announce. I just realized. I don't know if I should say that. I'll ask him later. But like they didn't announce it. So that's why I'm like, I can't figure out. There's no news about this.

I'm like, what the fuck's happening nobody's answering me and then he gets out covered in like soot and he's complaining he's like about the actors he's like this guy he's fucking dragging his feet i'm like dude you're not dinero i gotta go to bed let's fucking keep it moving he thinks it's this big break because they have actors in the tunnel they reenact these scenes they do prep themselves yeah they have actors it's his big break because they have actors in the tunnel. They reenact these scenes. They do? Prep themselves. Yeah, they have actors. It's whole big things. But you're right.

It is much safer because they're much more ready for, and their communication is better and, you know. But, and again, I'm like weeping. He's like, yeah, what's wrong with you? He's like, oh, he's a girl. Like didn't even notice. I'm like fully sobbing. He's like, I just blew cheese in there?

He's like, that'd be good. One day Tina, didn't even notice. I'm, like, fully sobbing. He's like, I just blew cheese in there? He's like, that'd be good. One day Tina liked that. They have good food at the firehouse. I know from the very, very, once or twice when I performed for a firehouse, because sometimes I'll do shows at firehouses, and I'm not the go-to firehouse comic. You know, they usually, like, a Rich Boss would be more.

Shocking. A Robert Kelly would be more of a guy that might perform for firemen. But the couple times I've done it. I love that not everyone knows that. At least you're self-aware. But they have excellent food, the times that I've been. They can all cook because they have to cook the first two years. You always see them in grocery stores because they're always grocery shopping. Really?

My mind is wandering about this. You know, I made that a bad joke. He doesn't even know what color they are, but I was thinking that it's interesting that a fireman, this is not with regard to Pete, that a fireman will risk his life for any human, absolutely regardless of color or anything like that. And I believe they will do that even if they have bigoted beliefs. I mean, my husband also, he's Colombian,

so he's pretty diverse now. So in terms of that bigotry, I don't really see it. I'm excluding him because I know him, but firemen in general, you're going to have a certain percentage of firemen, like everybody in the population, but maybe more in a professional life. Maybe not, but let's just say, but whatever it is, people who are bigots, who are firemen, and there's some of them, right?

It's somehow interesting to me that they will still, I'm sure, risk their lives to save any human. It's just interesting about humans, like they're contradictory in a certain way. I don't know what I'm saying. Like I said, I'm just thinking out loud. Well, it's part of their job and, you know. Maybe not.

I actually just read an article. Also, there's a lot of the firehouses themselves that are really diverse. Like when Amy came by the firehouse the other day, the girl that was doing the drill, the woman, female firefighter, black female firefighter. She was amazing. There was a scene similar to this that brought this out.

That movie was called Race or something with Matt Dillon where he played the racist cop in that movie. The name of the movie wasn't Race. I remember the movie you're talking about. I think it had a one word name like that. Maybe it was Traffic. Maybe it was Traffic.

Traffic was about the drug deals. Anyway, whatever it was. And he was a racist, like a badly racist cop. And then this black girl is in a car accident and the fire is coming towards the gas tank. And he risks his life to save the girl in the car. And it was exactly that thing. It brought out the... Humanity.

Yeah, just the contradictoriness of it all. Right. I don't know. I do also feel like... Cut this whole thing out in the call. I shouldn't think out loud. But it's interesting, no? Well, I think it's because duty trumps personal feelings. You know,

the last thing they want to be is a coward or a shirker. That is worse to them. Also, like, there's also a difference between just personal. I know what you're trying to say, but like feelings and being bigoted. Like, how evil do you have to be that you don't, you would like say somebody based on skin color? I'm also not sure you're right. Like, I feel like probably there are cops or whoever that are like, yeah, no, I don't give a shit about those people. Cops are totally different.

I don't know about cops because cops, I can understand less holy motives for wanting to be a cop. Cops may enjoy the power, God forbid, the bullying. There's a lot of things about being a cop which could be appealing to a person that was coming from a bad place. Firefighting, to me anyway, is a selfless profession. You don't get off on any kind of sadistic or anything like that.

You are there to save lives by risking your own life, right? That's a hell of a thing. It's just, you know, so. It is, yeah. And it's also, yeah, it's insane. I mean, I can't approach. I mean, I don't know if that's necessarily the motivation for every fireman to get into it.

They might want the adventure. They might think it's a good job with the pension. The ass, the ass. They might, you know, there's probably a lot of reasons. Mixed motivation, but I can't come up with. It's a thrilling exciting job It's different Yeah the adrenaline

But I can't come up with a bad motivation For being a fireman I will say this They love their jobs If you Sorry a report in Bloomberg Of the top 10 most satisfied workers in America And firefighters are in the top 10

They just love being firefighters Because they get They get such great feedback on their jobs and it's exciting, you know? And you're saving lives. Yeah. That's got to be fantastic. Laughter saves lives.

Well, I don't think we're in the top. I doubt we're in the top. You're right about narcissism. Satisfied people. My laughter saves lives too, right? Hilarious. I love how you're talking about John Lasseter. He was a fireman.

I was just like, maybe I should have already known this. I didn't say anything. Laughter saves lives. Oh, laughter. I thought you said Lasseter. I'm glad we... I said laughter saves lives. Hilarious.

Yeah, I mean, it's... What were you going to say, Natty? For God. I mean, they're different. It's a whole insane world. But he definitely gives me a lot of material. Because emotionally, yeah, he's like oblivious. Completely oblivious.

And that's what you. Like he boarded a plane once without me. Oh my God. I'm like, Pete, what the fuck? This is what you attribute your, like your uh i don't know the tear that you're on in terms of killing thank you i'm just happy you said that i don't know what i think i'm just i'm glad the material he does give me a lot of material i think they give they give a lot because it's like this entirely different world crashing into my world because a lot of my life now is a lot of this stuff because he's going to be a chief soon.

It becomes very, you know, intense. It's like I got these like, you know, I go to these FDNY Staten Island like dinner dances all the time. And, you know, there's always like functions. And here I am, this loud Jewish comic. Like I'm not, you know, like they could Google me and just know the same things. Like, I am not in that world at all. So, I mean, now I am. But how do you, but when you go to these events and you interact with the other firewives,

and I know you say on stage that that's not a word that they actually use. Firetwats. But, I mean, do you get along with these people? You know, is it difficult or uh uh you know annoying for you or it's not like comics like i feel most at home with comics i'm an animal i just blurt out crazy things these are like better women than me like they run a tight ship you know like a lot of them are like nurses and they you know and they like they know how to like fold a fitted sheet i'm like an animal i'm a comic you know like know, like, so, and, and definitely

often like one of the only Jews in the room for sure. But, um, but we have that weird thing in common too, you know, that we're both pretty annoyed with our husbands. No, but we both have the same risk and that same life. So it's like in a weird way, I also connect to them in a way I don't anybody else. Did, did Louie start to really take off when he started talking about his kids? When he started talking about more personal matters? Well, yes, I think so. Because Louis used to be kind of a little bit more absurdist, a little bit more Attell-esque.

I mean, not to say they were similar, but Louis was more of an absurdist kind of a comic. And he became more of a personal comic, I think, when he started talking about his kids. And he's saying his kids are assholes or whatever he was saying. And I do think that that was a turning point for him. So I guess the analogy you're making is,

could this be a turning point for Rachel? Well, we don't know, but we'll see. Yeah, it definitely gives me a lot. Rachel's always been personal. Her material. It's not that Rachel's all of a sudden becoming personal. She's always been personal. But this specific world crashing into my world,

I mean, you saw it at my wedding. I mean, it is just like hilarious. A lot of it has nothing to do with me. I mean, I got a good, nice chunk there. I mean, just the fireman at the wedding. I mean, it was just like my loud Jew comic friends being hilarious. And then like some fireman like grabbed the mic at the end of the night. He's like, drunk 2020, just like fell softly into the carpet on his face.

Like it was just a shit show you know and they're all over my house buying bitcoin we have a house because of bitcoin and we bought a bitcoin house like it's just so much shit going on you made money in bitcoin that's how we bought a house because pete bought bitcoin in like 2006 that we bought a house with but there's always some guy over buying crypto from pete you know talking about this government doesn't want us to be doing right now and i'm like you work, talking about this. The government doesn't want us to be doing right now. And I'm like, you work for the government.

You're a government worker. They're like, that's what I, they want you to think. Like, so it's a lot. Like I get a lot from all of the, they,

they've given me a lot of material for sure. But before we go, Dan wanted to, I just think we should say a word about Steve King, who was the head of security here at the Comedy Cellar. He was the doorman. We've seen him...

I mean, how long has he been here? 20 years? More. 20, 30... Well, I've been seeing him for however long. You know, sitting there. Very nice guy.

Everybody loved him. And he died suddenly yesterday morning, November 1st, of causes I guess unknown. But... And they did a GoFundMe for him, yesterday morning, November 1st, of causes I guess unknown. And they did a GoFundMe for him, which raised, I mean,

I think they're at $100,000 for his family. That's what I heard. I was at $100,000 already, which is great. He was the funniest, loveliest guy. He was just always smiling. It's so insane that he's not going to be sitting there on that chair. I know. He always puts his hand up like I'm not allowed in. Does he do the same thing to you? He always blocks me from the door like I'm an audience member. He's just always

silly, always in the best mood, playful, so proud of his kids. He's a true mensch. He was a true mensch. I can't believe it's past tense. Were you close to him, Noam? I know he worked for you for many, many years. I don't know if you had a personal relationship. Yeah, of course. I wouldn't say we were close, but we had a, you know,

more than a professional relationship. We had a personal relationship. Absolutely. What do you think about these GoFundMes generally as a way to... Why are you looking at me weird, Rachel? No, nothing. I don't know. I mean, do you think this is the best way to go about...

I don't know. You know, helping the family. Or, you know... Well, I don't ever recall people raising $100,000 for families of people who died before GoFundMe. Pretty fast. pretty effective.

So, yeah, I would say it's very good. And when people pass away, it leaves a host of sudden problems for families, you know, like practical problems that families are hard for them to think about when they're grieving. It used to be somebody would die and we'd have like a function at the lobby memorial and we'd raise a few thousand dollars. But this is a very good use of technology is GoFundMe.

And comedians loved him so much. Everybody loved him. This is a guy everybody loved. Yeah, you're right. He was a special guy. Everybody loved him. He was just like a... And some comedians were very generous.

I don't want to say the names and I think there's even more to come. Well, I was not that generous. Because I didn't know what to donate. And so I was one of the early... More. What's that? My family listens to it.

I feel like I don't... That is the worst excuse for not being generous I've ever heard. I wanted to be. But I don't know what to do. First of all, I didn't know what being generous meant in that context. Somebody gave $25,000. Yeah, but was that you? No, I don't know who it was. I'm just saying somebody gave $25,000. Everybody assumes it's you. I thought it was you. It was your note for being very generous. I'm not donating to the GoFundMe. I'm doing mine on the

side. Okay. Well, maybe that could have been your answer as to, I asked you if GoFundMe. I'm doing mine on the side. Okay. Well, that's, but maybe that could have been your answer as to, you know, I asked you if GoFundMe was the best mechanism and you said yes it was, but now you're saying you're not using it. Well, I'm his employer.

It's a different situation. Yeah. Well, but that's what I was wondering, whether you think giving it directly to the family or putting in some sort of... I don't think that matters,

but I'm saying that without the GoFundMe, this money wouldn't be raised. No, the GoFundMe is amazing. But if you have the opportunity to give directly, whether it would be knowing where the money is going, putting in a fund. Who cares where the money is going?

Why is that for us to decide? Like, let the money go wherever it is. No, I had a situation where I gave a big chunk of change to something like this and that money just got taken and just blown, not at all for the helpful purpose that I had given it and I resent it to this day. But that's so- What was it?

I don't know. There is something. When you give people access to a big amount of money, they can be irresponsible with it. Okay, but that's your choice. But also, you're not giving it to the family. You're giving it to the director of the GoFundMe. You have to trust that person.

We trust that person. But I'm saying the idea of putting something in a fund or an annuity or whatever, this is not an unwise thing to do. It's pretty safe. But, you know. It's not annuity. unwise thing to do. It's pretty safe. But, you know... It's not annuity. It's like Venmo. It's not Bitcoin.

In terms of getting into the family, that step is pretty direct. But, you know, the family needs money up front. That's for sure. This is such a tragic story. It's hard for me to talk about and tell you the truth.

But, you know, it's fantastic that you got $100,000. What I was saying earlier is because I was one of the first people to give, I didn't know what, I just didn't know what the amount. You can give twice. I didn't. You can go back and.

Okay. But I didn't know what, why are you covering your mouth? How do I know what the right amount to give is? It turned out. Kanye has a song about this. As it turns out. First of all, they got the $100,000 that they were looking for. If I knew that they needed more money.

Can you cut that out? No. You're making a mountain out of a big deal out of a rational question. People gave, I'll tell you this. The average comedian, the most common amount the comedian gave was $100. That's the most common amount. Did you go through all of them? Listen, one thing about it.

Would you have just guessed that amount out of thin air without knowing beforehand? Dan, one thing about our community. Yeah. There's people of wildly different means that all sit at the comedian table. There are 100 millionaires sitting with people. With no health insurance. Sitting with people who are scraping together rent. So you give what you can.

Yeah. Whatever you give. It's meaningful based on what somebody can. People stretch it for things like that. So that's like a. Also, you give based on your relationship with that. I mean, you could give money to that. You can give money to cancer.

Nobody should judge where you want. If you have excess money to give to help people, God forbid the person that I love who died may not be your priority. That's none of anybody's business. That is all true. But I still had to come up

with a number that I felt was... So let me tell you this. Last night I went... Last night I went to a fundraiser with Dara Godfrey, Gilbert's wife, right? And there were people donating to this cause, and they were donating it on their phone, and it was going on a big screen so everybody could see how much people donated. So some people were giving $3,600, and some people were giving $180. This is very Jewish.

It's very Jewish. Yeah, it was. Jews given multiple of 18, for those of you who don't know. I'm impressed that Ariel knew these were multiples of 18. Because it's considered good. 18 is a good luck in Judaism. But so Dara said that she wanted,

Dara invited me to go with her. It was basically her date, and she said that she really wanted to donate in Gilbert's name, but she knew that he probably wouldn't have with her. It was basically her date. She said that she really wanted to donate in Gilbert's name, but she knew that he probably wouldn't have wanted her to do that. That is the funniest thing I've ever heard. It's so cheap.

I said we should donate $1.80. You could donate all of Gilbert's shampoo. I'm just saying, it's not about the amount of money. The fact that you thought to give is really I think what's important my grandma wrote a Schneider one of the sexiest women alive than she was

she used to work for she was Faye Dunaway's secretary and she would always give me her clothes Faye Dunaway? no wait that's her sister my aunt Edith Schneider and I would always get something that used to be Faye Dunaway? Yeah. Oh, wait. That's her sister. My aunt, Edith Schneider. Edith Schneider. Yeah.

And I would always get something that used to be Faye Dunaway's. That's amazing. I belong to Faye. And I'm like, well, then it wasn't really yours to give to me. She would re-wrap it for Hanukkah. All the cliché things are true. You really do need to take care of your health. And, you know, we've known, especially me,

because between the musicians and the comedians, I've known way too many people already in my lifetime who've dropped dead. And I hate to say mostly black men, but there is a commonality among all the people I've known who have died and one of them is really just not taking

not taking not heeding the actual risk Is it that these people didn't have adequate health coverage or they just were not or they just were not There's so many other aspects that go into that But Noam, in the cases that you've articulated, is the issue health insurance or is the issue just noncompliance with doctor's orders? I would be surprised if it was health insurance in any of the situations.

Well, wait a second. I know personally and for most of them I know specifically that it wasn't. It was not being responsible. Well, don't you think that if your friend Wig had had adequate access to mental health— He refused to take his meds. But he also— That's mental illness. You can't even judge it either way.

But it wasn't because he didn't have access. The government let him down in other ways. There's also so many other complicated factors, and exhaustion, and family history, and balance of all those things that can affect your life. Well, it's certainly not a bad idea to take care of your health. No, everybody should take care of their health. It's just such a complicated thing.

It's also a luxury to be able to take care of your health to some degree. Yeah, that's what I meant, by exhaustion. Rachel, it says something very important. People are born with vulnerabilities. is such a complicated thing. It's also a luxury to be able to take care of your health to some degree. Rachel, it says something very important. People are born with vulnerabilities. Some people are extremely overweight. And that's not because they're lazy people. They have a propensity to be

huge. I mean, look at COVID. Look at the disparity you saw there by but people's experiences some people were dancing with their families in matching outfits other people were on the street yeah yeah yeah what i'm saying is that we as humans you know you can look it up and you can read that you know based on your particular profile you have a much higher risk of something happening to you. But people don't think it will happen to them. That's really what I'm saying.

You have to respect your own statistical profile and take that seriously. And we all think, I think I'm never going to die. So I try to convince myself, no, you're going to die. I'm like, no, I'm never going to die.

That's good. I don't have a fear of death either. I'm worried more if people are mad at me than about dying. Well, I think Noam's going to go until into his 90s. I certainly hope so. I don't think about it.

People are like, you don't fear it. I'm like, I mean, I know it's going to happen, but I'm much more worried if somebody's mad at me. That's what I think about in the weird hours of the night. I try not to, Thea. I just overanalyze

a small social exchange. What did you say? You assume people are mad at you? I know people are mad at me. But the difference is he doesn't really care. I care. Of course I care. There's nothing I can do about it.

I can't help myself. But I really do not want to die. I just find it intolerable. A hard thing to think about. Reincarnation is somewhat calming for me. Or that I could go be somebody else with another fun, loving life. Or you could be somebody else but a horrible, loving life. I don't like to.

Or you could be somebody else, but a horrible life. I mean, if you look at all the people that have ever walked the earth, how many of them would you like to be? And the choices are quite limited. This is a perfect way to end this podcast. Why? Good evening, friends. Look at all the people that have ever lived,

and how many of those lives would you enjoy living in? No, that's why when everybody will do a past life or some sort of thing, when everybody starts talking like that, I have a friend that's into that stuff and she's like, you were Joan of Arc. I'm like, what are the odds? I was a serf. I was definitely a jester

that was a serf probably. You could have been burned as a witch. I definitely would have been burned. Oh my God. You could have been burned as a witch. I definitely would have been burned. Oh my god, I would have been burned every day for the shit I talk. You were a jester. You could have just died

and been stillborn. For the things they used to burn women alive for, I definitely would have been burned. I would have been burned alive. Yeah, I definitely would have been burned alive. That's a good idea for a Halloween costume. And that's probably why you married a firefighter, because in your past life you got burned at the stake.

That is an even better way. That's a great idea for Halloween. Oh, my God. Burnt at the stake. So we should just say, Perrielle went as a vagina for Halloween. Horrible, horrible. I went as pro-choice.

Well, it was a vagina. It was a vagina. A vag. But my nine-year- vagina. It was a vagina. A vag? But my nine-year-old thought I was a hot dog. How did you settle on being a vag for Halloween? And you think,

I went as a penis. My nine-year-old thought I was a hot dog. No, I went as a vagina. My nine-year-old thought I was a hot dog. It looked like a hot dog in a bun.

It literally went, ugh, ugh, ugh. Ugh, that's horrific. That's horrific. You horrific You look sad too You don't look happy About being a vagina You have kind of A low grade depression

Expression It was great I wouldn't have known That was a vagina Yeah I don't know I would have known It looks like a hot dog It definitely looks like

I would have known Because it's fucking Perrielle And everything she does Is a vagina Her That was a symbol For her comedy show You vag-centric Perrielle Just don't tell does is a vagina. That was a symbol for her comedy show. You vag-centric Perrielle.

Just don't tell me you modeled it on your own vagina. That's all. Oh, my God. It was a great costume because it was also, it felt like I could go around saying that I was pro-choice, which felt like, you know, I was happy to do that. But Noam said that I could have easily been pro-life in that costume.

And... Pro-life people like to have those big signs with smush babies on them. So it could be a smush baby on them. Wasn't that like the vagina hat was a symbol of pro-choice, right? The pink hat. Yeah. Put it back for a second, Nicole, because I realize what's throwing me off.

You would think that the hole where the head is coming out of would be the vagina hole, but that's not. So it's confusing. I wouldn't think that. I would think that just so we could know that she could cross the street without getting hit. That would be a fun way to do it, but it would be a trickier. You should have been coming out of the vagina hole. There's more than one hole in a vagina, right?

There's two, right? Or is it three? I'm just kidding. You should have been coming out of the vagina hole. You know that there's more than one hole in a vagina, right? There's two, right? Or is it three? I'm just kidding. You should have been coming out of the birth canal. Okay. The birth canal would be where the person would come out. You should have been coming out of the birth canal dead. In the middle. Next year, it's going to be that

with a hanger and a bloody baby head. Aww. I think you should just go with a hanger and a bloody baby head. Aww. Aww. I think you should just go with a nurse or a cat. A Catholic schoolgirl. That was good. But I don't know why you'd try. Frankie's downstairs, my daughter.

Oh, I want to go see Frankie. Nicole, any thoughts on the vagina costume? I'm a fan. It did look like it was sort of falling apart, though. A little bit. A little bit of a question. She's not as young as she used to be. The inner Livia.

All right. Podcast at ComedySally.com. She had a kid. For your suggestions, comments, critiques. Thank you, Rachel Feinstein. Rachel. Feinstein. Rachel Feinstein at, I don't know.

Rachel Feinstein underscore is my Instagram, but you can go to Rachel-Feinstein.com. It's my website for my dates and stuff. All right. Thank you so much. Thank you. Bye-bye. And all you firefighters go to rachel-feinstein.com it's my website for my dates and stuff alright thank you so much thank you bye bye and all you firefighters out there thank you for your service