The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Ryan Hamilton, Jon Laster, Joyelle Johnson, and Keith Robinson

Episode Date: January 26, 2017

Ryan Hamilton, Jon Laster, Joyelle Johnson, and Keith Robinson are standup comedians who perform regularly at the Comedy Cellar.

You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to The Comedy Cellar Show here on Sirius XM Channel 99. We're here with Joyelle Johnson, Ryan Hamilton, John Laster, and of course, my co-host, Mr. Dan Natterman. And you three were all witness to the show of the century or whatever it's being, the billion-dollar comedy show. And so I— Why don't you just briefly explain what that was? Why don't you explain it? And you're better at this than I am. Okay.

Well, last week—was it last week? I don't even remember what day it was. Two weeks ago. Now, we always get special guests that drop by here at the Comedy Cellar. But two weeks ago, they all came at the same time. We had Jerry Seinfeld, Amy Schumer, Aziz Ansari, Chris Rock, and Dave Chappelle all stopped by on the same night and all performed on the same show. And Dave Attell. And Dave Attell.

Well, I'm not counting Dave because he is not a drop-in guest. Although he certainly... Technically, he was scheduled. He was scheduled. And so was Ryan Hamilton who was sitting to my left. And I didn't mention his name either

because these are not drop-in guests. And? Was Joyelle on the show? I don't believe so. Joyelle was on the show afterwards. Oh. The next show. The late night show. I don't believe so. Joyelle was on the show afterwards. Oh. The next show. The late night show that was sad.

Very sad. And it was a historical event. It got known a lot of press. Well, it got the club a lot of press. Yeah, it was the all-time most noteworthy event we've ever had on the world stage, I would say. And Jon Laster got his tweet. event we've ever had on the world stage, I would say. And John Lasseter got his tweet John was the host of the show.

Published all over the... Around the world. Yes. So what do you guys remember about it? You must be telling this story around. When did you understand what was cooking and what was about to happen?

You know what? To be honest with you, I thought that I was told, actually, because they were all here, that that show definitely wasn't going to happen, that there was no room for them. And because there were so many of them, some of them had to go on the next show. Well, actually, I knew that Amy was here or Amy was coming. Yes, and not going on. And I thought she was going,, I knew that Amy was here, or Amy was coming. And not going on. I thought she was going,

but I knew that. Then, how did they all trickle in? Amy was around the corner. Dave and Seinfeld were shooting a late night show. Dave Chappelle? Were they on the Tonight Show? I believe so. Fallon. With the First Lady.

Right. And then Aziz was getting ready for SNL. So Dave and Chris came down together? Dave and Seinfeld came. Dave and Seinfeld came down together? Yes, I believe, yes. Okay. Amy was around the corner. Amy didn't know they were coming.

No, she was around the corner. Yeah. With Colin. Oftentimes these famous people do come in clumps. We see twos and threes quite frequently. That's true. But this was the biggest clump we've ever had. It was a perfect storm.

They do tend to come in clusters because they all hang out together. Or they all call each other up and say, hey, I'm going to be at the cellar. And then Aziz was prepping for his SNL that week. Aziz was getting ready, yeah, for the last couple of weeks, getting ready for SNL. So he was already on and so was Attell. They were both on the docket anyway. And Chris also just walked in by accident? That sounded like, to me, like Dave might have called him and said,

hey, we're going down to the cell to meet us down there. But I'm not sure of that. Or maybe Amy. Preparing for his tour. Talking about Dave Chappelle. Let's distinguish between Dave Chappelle and Dave Attell. Yeah. So were they all sitting here at the table?

Yes, yes. But when I walked in, you know, because I have to get the rundown to know who to give what time because the show's got to try to come in on time. But I was told they're definitely not all going on. You know what I mean? So when I asked, hey, how much time should I start cutting? Because they give me a little leeway.

You got great people that work for you here. They trust me. I was told do all your time up top and let Ryan do his time. No way if all of them are going on, the two of us get to do all our time. Can I ask you which one of my great people told you to do that? Sounds like a pretty, let's not leave any options open for ourselves. Dumb advice. I would have told you to do very little time,

and if there's time at the end of the show, you can do more time then. Yeah. That's why I get the big balls. But I mean, Amy definitely wasn't... Was that Val? That sounds like a Val to me. You know, it was a guy.

I forgot his name. I haven't seen him here recently. I don't recall his name. I'm literally mad right now. Because now I know who's to blame for all the people who had to wait outside. But go ahead. They told me that I would be doing 10 and I think I got off right about 10.

You let me and I got off right away. Yeah. So I didn't do my full 15. He did 15 at the top. I actually went through the audio today because I cut out all the intros so they can cut them into this show. Yeah. And John did a full 15 at the top.

Right. Okay. And no way I would have done that had I, you know what I mean? No. But, yeah, I mean, there's nothing bad about that night. No, but I'm just saying this. I'm only making that point to say that none of us knew when the show began that that was coming down the pike. And Val obviously didn't even realize it was a possibility

that any of the five most famous comics in the world would be here for any other reason other than the borscht. I will say about John's set. Oh, we do have truffle fries, but go ahead. John's set, it seems like

the audience, even though this was this crazy show that they didn't know was happening, the audience was stellar from the get-go. Did you feel that? Oh, yeah. Because when I got up, I thought John just crushed. And then I got up and they were great. Which is, often in the first spot, you don't feel like it

takes a minute. Yeah. Well, he did a solid 15. I have to give him that. I listened to it. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it was great. He's the best host. Ryan, do you often get the first spot? I go first often. I get moved all over the place. Are there people that SD prefers to put on first?

We'll get back, of course, to that. The people who are respectful and don't complain. The non-squeaky wheels. The non-squeaky wheels open the show. The greased wheels. I hate to say it, but that's really the truth. Uh-oh, I'm being summoned. I'll be back.

I'll be back. Oh, John. I know, I know. Columbia, you're... I'll be back. He'll be back. He'll be back. I'll be back.

Just for the audience, no comedian likes to go on first before the audience is completely warmed up and at ease. And so what Noam is saying is that those who don't complain about it often get that spot. I'm disproportionately represented among first spotters. You're a similar type. You don't bitch. But that night didn't feel like it was a first spot. Well, sometimes that happens.

Sometimes it's in the first spot. Also, first spot, when you invite people to come to the show, you feel like it's not as impressive when you in the first spot. Also, first spot, when you invite people to come to the show, you feel like it's not as impressive when you have the first spot because in the mind of the audience, I'm assuming that they figure the first spot is not as good. It's an opener. It's an opener. Yeah.

So, you know, there is that issue. Joelle, you were on the show following. I've never seen her perform. Well, she's relatively new here. I'm very new here. I just got passed here a couple of months ago. I should have's relatively new here. I'm very new here. I just got passed here a couple of months ago. I should have seen you by now. I'm sorry that I haven't.

I'm sorry I mispronounced your name, too. No, it's okay. Janelle's actually another female comic, and we get confused. No, I think I said Jarell. No, you said Janelle. You said Janelle. Oh, okay. Because I thought it was like my son is so into Superman heroes,

I thought I just said Jarell. Yes. I am one of Superman's siblings. Yes. Yeah, no, I usually get the said you were like... Yes. I am one of Superman's siblings, yes. I usually get the first spot a lot as well, but I had to do the show afterwards. And I actually got some good energy because everybody was anticipating. But did any

special guests come to the show after? Absolutely not. They were all at Blue Ribbon. Well, they all hang out together. When you're famous, and we've discussed this before, all of a sudden, they're all friends. People that would probably have nothing to do with each other. I mean, since when are Aziz

and Chris Rock, like, why would they be friends? Other than they're both part of the same fraternity of famous, you know, which I guess is reason enough. Sure. Yeah, I believe that, I've said this before, I think that being famous is very hard on the famous, even though it sounds,

and that they are comfortable with people who understand them. Yeah, I would think so. Well, I don't know if it's hard, but I do think there is a certain understanding that they have. They know they're on the same level. They know that they don't necessarily like, if they're hanging out with me, they might think, oh, Dan's trying to angle, get in,

trying to get something, you know, potentially. Which they'd be absolutely right. Well, I'm not generally a good maneuverer in that respect, but I would be thinking it. Yeah, yeah, of course. I would definitely be thinking it. When I have conversations with Judd Apatow, it's like the elephant in the room. We're talking about the weather,

and it's like, alright, dude, you know, you could change my life, and you're not doing it. And that's what's going on in my mind. I think that comedy is very, more than almost most arts, is very, very much a meritocracy. No matter what everyone

says. You know, you're going to set me off, and you're going to get a whoopin'. If you, no, because you don't know where I'm going. If you, if people all over the world are downloading or streaming your YouTube clips alone in their room and listening to what you're saying and laughing at it, you can't fake that. So all these people, they really are funny. Among the funniest people in the world. However, when you sit at the table with them, the laughs that they get from the people around them

are not warranted by the quality of the transcript. The transcript is not warranted. When you are super famous, everybody just laughs. It's like, right? And they know that too. And they know that their impression becomes distorted. It's a whole thing. I don't know if they know that or not, to be honest with you.

I have not seen one of these famous people have a joke that fell flat since they became famous. That's just not possible. Somebody always is there to laugh for them. And it happens with the audience a little bit, too, in the beginning. Even with the audience, too. But at the table, forget about it. You think Natterman's going to be like, ah, you're bombed. The only person who has a ball to do that would be Keith Robinson.

Yes, that's true. I do want to discuss an interesting point that does happen here when we have the show went. The second show, I assume that you did, Joyelle, the show after the billion-dollar show was called. Yes. I'm not sure who called it that, but somebody did. Chris Rock. The New York Times. Yeah, on stage someone said that.

He said, you've seen a billion dollars worth of comedians. I thought it was Chris. I'm pretty sure it was Chris. It sounds like Chris. By the way, that billion dollars is billion dollars worth of comedians. I thought it was Chris. I'm pretty sure it was Chris. It sounds like Chris. By the way, that billion dollars is heavily weighted towards Seinfeld. I mean, he's most of the billion right there. He is. I know what you're thinking about, Jules.

Just keep it to yourself. But Dan immediately opened an Excel spreadsheet and tried to see if it was. I was actually trying to think. I was like, who's the poorest person in that group? Like, who's the poor person? That's an interesting question. So the Jews only think about money, but Joyelle was immediately thinking, who's the

poorest? Black people think about money all the time. How about everybody thinks about money? Because Joyelle was worried about who was the poorest. That was my thought. I was like, who was the poorest? She wasn't worried about it. I knew the Jew was the richest. She wasn't worried about it. She was simply pondering it. And the answer to your question, by the way,

of who is the poorest of that group is probably Mr. Aziz Rajiv Ansari. Okay. I don't know if that's his middle name. I don't know. But to answer your question. Well, I figured it was between those two. It's Aziz, or who's the other one that you thought might be?

Schumer. Well, look. I think Schumer might be richer than Chappelle. After the Netflix deal? No, not after the Netflix deal. Well, Schumer got a Netflix deal, too. But anyway, so you did the show after the Billion Dollar Show, and it started very late, right?

Is that correct? It started very late, yes. Okay, so here's something that happened at the Cellar that we've discussed, but I think is interesting. Oftentimes, there'll be a show with special guests. Now, the special guests get to do as much time as they want. So what happens is, is the show with the special guests goes long.

It goes longer than scheduled. So the people waiting for the next show have to suffer the indignity of waiting outside, whether it's cold or rainy, whatever. They're waiting outside because of a show that they won't get to see. Now, they have to wait to go in, and oftentimes we'll see a show that's not anywhere near as good as the show that caused the lateness in the first place. So I kind of feel bad for those people.

It's a shit-end-of-the-stick situation. It's a shit-end-of-the-stick. So, Noam, you as the owner, what are your thoughts about that? Well, what can your thoughts about that? Well, what can I do about it? I did ask Liz to email everybody on that show

and invite them back to another show for no cover charge. That's beautiful. That's nice. Yeah, and beyond that, I mean...

What about the possibility of offering no cover for the given show that started late? Great minimums, of course, still will apply. No. You say no to that idea. No.

I don't think that having to wait a half an hour warrants a free night. Well, it's not free. They will still be a cover applied. I mean, a minimum, a drink minimum. No, no. It's too late. We barely have a drink minimum. No, I don't.

So are they coming back for free? They can come back for no cover. Yeah, because the reason is because most of them aren't coming back for no cover. They probably won't take you up on it necessarily. No, a lot of them will. I mean, I don't know. I would have bought everybody a shot or something like that. Listen, the cost of giving everybody no cover on one night

is more than I was ready to do to make it up to these people who have been inconvenienced, but not horribly so. Not in a way that I'm not going to give them a free night because they didn't get to see a show, which was good. Essentially, they've been inconvenienced by having to wait, which we've all been to restaurants and had to wait. Nobody ever gives us a free meal because we had to wait a long time for our reservation. And they knew what was going on,

and they were inconvenienced. And whatever, come back again, and we'll take care of you. And there's two ends to it, too. The people, like, maybe you get to see the Billion Dollar Show next time you come. Like, there's a kind of a... People come here knowing that they may get to see something like that.

Keith! Come here. Well, Keith Robinson, I'm assuming I can't see, but when you say Keith, I'm assuming Keith Robinson has just arrived. I just said you were the only honest man in comedy. Well, I haven't... Yeah, you damn right. Can I tell you why?

Why? Because at a table of famous people, the only one who will say, you're bombed, it's not funny, is you. Everybody laughs at anybody famous's joke. Absolutely. Right? Yes.

But you're not afraid of anybody. Why would I be? It's really true. We've got a lot of years in this business. That's right. We were discussing how all these famous people that come here are all friends, like, you know, Aziz and Chris. They're not friends. They're not friends? Aziz and Chris. They're not friends.

They're not friends? Aziz and Chris Rock ain't friends? They're money friends. What does that mean? That means they got money, they feel as though they're equal in stature, equal in money, but they're not equal and they're not really friends. So Chris Rock and Aziz. I don't believe they're friends. Well, they went to dinner together, didn't they? They do that now. Okay. What do you think they're friends. Well, they went to dinner together, didn't they? They do that now.

What do you think they talk about? That money. I can tell you I was there. What do they talk about? I'm sure they want money. You were at the Blue Ribbon Diner? How did you get that invite? I'm friends with Dave, so that's the only way.

Dave Chappelle. Yeah, that's the only way I would get an invite. And then when I came and sat down, he was like, great, Joelle, you're taking Aziz's spot because Aziz had just left. So had he still been there, I would not have been able to sit down. So who was at the dinner? Chris, Amy, Jerobe from A Tribe Called Quest Dave's wife Dave and his publicist and friend and me

they formed like a like the Justice League or something the Avengers hey we all have money let's hang out shut up they bug me like a super group

like Buffalo Springsteen. And they call each other. Springfield. It's okay. But isn't it true that it's hard for people who aren't on, not for you because you have some, you know, you're gifted in a way that you're able to somehow be okay in those situations. What do you mean?

But isn't it hard for people? Was it hard for you to be with those people? Oh, I just shut the fuck up. That's what I'm saying. And it was funny because Chris actually mentioned he was on the set of Harlem Nights for one day. And he was like, when Richard Pryor and Redd Foxx are in your presence,

you shut the hell up. Wait a minute, Keith wouldn't. Keith wouldn't, but I know better. At that dinner, Red Fox or Richard Pryor wasn't in the set. There's a difference now. For me... You see the difference? You got to be honest.

It's Chris and Dave for me. They're my number two and my number three. Dave and Chris, who else is wrong? Keith is really evil. Oh, for sure. I've known that for years. Keith really truly is one of the only... Keith is really evil Oh for sure I've known that for years No Oh But Keith really

Keith really truly is One of the only honest people You know I've said I think I've said It's like I'm not comfortable Actually sitting alone

With many comics Like I'll usually get The hell out of it If it's just me And another comic Whatever it is I'm totally comfortable Sitting alone

Keith is one of the only people I could just sit along With at the table And that's because He's completely honest Or why is that? Because yeah He's just like an everyday guy to me I'm totally comfortable sitting Keith is one of the only people I could just sit along with at the table and that's because he's completely honest or why is that because yeah he's just like an everyday guy to me

I'm an everyday guy Ryan Jesus Christ Ryan well I hang out with Keith alone I feel fine too well let me put it this way he never Keith never kisses my ass that's for sure

absolutely no but I'm saying that's on a small scale what these super famous like Keith is like I don't give a shit who you are I don't give a shit who you are and I don't give a shit who you are. And we also, you know, talk about some of the same stuff.

There's, I think, quite a few comics that don't kiss your ass. I don't know what it is. He knows when they kiss an ass. It's a lot of my Sam, too. No, kissing ass is actually a vulgar way to put it. What was the joke I made about Ryan Hamlin? Go ahead, Dan. I'll get it.

Come to me. Go ahead. Oh, earlier? Oh. And you were the punchline. I'm the punchline a lot. It was one of the funniest things. It was a compliment to you, actually.

Ryan is nice. He stays nice. So it's hard to tell if he's kissing your ass. No, Ryan. Come on. That was a good one. That was good. Keith, this is actually the only honest comedian.

Ryan. I'm surprised Ryan is not invited into that inner sanctum because of his, he's so real and so nice and so genuine. His Twitter following is too small. Yeah. It's the bank account, Dan. I would have thought, no, but I would have thought, I would have thought that somebody would want to take Ryan under his wing because, look, a lot of funny people out there, but somebody as nice as Ryan is incredibly rare. Somebody as real and honest and genuine as Ryan is incredibly rare.

Far rarer than somebody that can kill on stage, which Ryan happens to do as well. Well, that's very flattering to say. I don't know. Those guys have been, a lot of people have been nice to me and taken me under their wing. That's right. And I think Michael Che is an asshole. I'm fed up with Michael Che, Anderson.

Michael hates women. You don't have to be on the show, but I don't like it when you're famous and now you're doing the public charity stuff and all that. Look how good I am supporting Planned Parenthood. I never thought you'd do that. I'm just trying to do my part. That sounds like guilt. If it wasn't for Planned Parenthood, I would be Michael Campbell,

the real funny dad. Is that your last name, Michael Campbell? My name is Michael Che Campbell. Ah. Che is a way cool name. Is Che your middle name? Yeah.

So I just found out that my wife's having a boy. Oh, that's right, yeah. And so we're going to name him after my grandfather. His name was Benjamin. So it'll be Benjamin Dwarman. So I wanted his initials

to be BFD, like Big Fucking Deal, which I think is cool initials for a kid. So you know what his middle name is going to be? Flash. Wow.

I'm going to name him. What? It's going to be Benjamin Flash. Now, I don't read mine, but I'm pretty sure that Keith Robinson thinks it stinks. Come on. When you were growing up, what would be cooler than to have a middle name Flash? Not a lot. Oh, man.

You guys are against it? I don't really care what you guys think. Michael, you're famous. What do you think? You know what? We don't respect his fame just yet. We don't respect it. How famous is Michael Che?

Because I don't see it in this insular world. I can't tell. Dan just said you're not famous. No, I didn't say that. I said I can't tell who's famous. All right, who here thinks Michael Che is famous? I do, I do, I do. I think he's famous.

Oh, God damn it. But on the scale of one to ten. He's standing right there, Keith. On a scale of one to Chris Rock, he's a 5.5. That's pretty, but still pretty good. Yeah, still pretty famous. See, when you said 5.5, that's the highest you think you'd get. You mean three.

No. Yes mean three. No. Yes. Okay. We need people for the rest of those numbers. I'm going to tell you what it is. You and I can't judge it because we're too old. When I was a kid, Saturday Night Live was a huge thing. If you were the weekend update guy on Saturday Night Live,

that's real fucking fame. You're still buying Marvin Gaye albums. You don't know. Yeah, but I don't know that SNL has that same power that it does. I don't know if it does or it doesn't. Joyelle says no. I don't think the broadest appeal. Well, I think TV in general is so fragmented that any one show doesn't have the same impact that it used to, obviously. Well, with Trump, I think there's been a big resurgence.

Like there was back when Tina Fey was doing Sarah Palin. It's like SNL is really hot right now. Yeah, it's all over the internet and everything. So, yeah, I think so. What do you think of Flash, Keith? Now, Flash is something that a Puerto Rican named his kid. You know, we don't talk that way. But my wife is Puerto Rican, by the way.

By the way. And I, listen, I think that it's kind of a cool name. What's your middle name? Flash. It is cool. Is it a nickname? It is cool. There of a cool name. What's your middle name? Flash. It is cool. Is it a real nickname? It is cool. There is always a danger.

It's cool. But, you know, can a kid really... Kids like to fit in. They like to be like every other kid. And every other kid is not named Flash. I know exactly what you're saying. I think it's cool if he's going to be jumped into a gang. This is what Dan is trying to say.

If you were a black guy, it would be one thing, but when you have a nerdy little son named Flash, people could just say, oh, did you see Flash running? Came in again last? Flash?

That's another good point. That's what Dan is. It's a big risk. That's not what I was saying, but that's a very good point. What I was saying simply is that it's unconventional and kids don't want to be unconventional.

If Hussein Bolt names his kid Flash, no one's going to say a fucking word about it. No. But if he's not fast, then, you know, that could be... Is Bolt his real last name? Yes, I believe so. I'll Flash him in my kid's real name. Maybe he will be a sprinter.

That's racist, Keith. Have there been any Jewish sprinters? In Israel? The kid will only be half Jewish, of course. Well, probably not at the highest levels, no.

We don't excel at athletics. No. Except statistics of athletics. No, they haven't been. We don't excel at athletics. No, they accept statistics of athletics. Like Lenny Marks. No, Sandy Kovacs is Jewish. Yeah, of course. And Mark Spitz. And there have been, you know. Oh, Mark Spitz, that's right.

Yeah, and there have been very. But that's not what we do best, I don't believe. What we do best is, among other things, wisecracking. Money. Joyelle said money. Money, period. I don't know what you mean by money you mean making money, counting money everything

I don't know that's slightly controversial it will be when Esty finds out you said it I love you Esty thank you for everything Joyelle I believe I think is into Jewish men I'm not quite sure I am, I think is into Jewish men. I'm not quite sure.

I am. I have a date with one tomorrow. I'm very excited. Joyelle's a black woman, by the way. I don't know. Joyelle's a black woman. In case the name Joyelle Johnson didn't give you a clue. Yes, I am.

What is it about Jewish guys that you like? Probably that you don't look like my father. Is your father Jewish? No. No, you don't look like your father. Oh, they don't look like your father. Which is why a Jewish man would be attracted to me. Because you and your father have a problematic relationship, obviously.

Yeah. You have daddy issues? But there's a lot of people that don't look like your father that might be Asian, that might be straight-up white people, that might be Ryan Hamilton. Why Jewish? There's plenty of people that don't look like your father. I love a nerdy Jew. Well, that's a compliment and an insult at the same time. I do.

I don't know why. I love it. You'reiment and an insult at the same time. I do. I don't know why. I love it. You're saying all Jews are nerds? Yeah. I know. I'm just saying I love a nerdy Jew. That's the stereotype. I decided I love a nerdy Jew.

I didn't say all Jews are nerds. So I'm curious about this daddy issue. You're saying you have a daughter. Do you see, can you relate any daddy issues to your sex life? Oh, for sure. Like what? Tell us. Just, well, actually, it's

the unavailable person. So if you have an unavailable father, you're going to seek unavailable men who match your father's personality. So if they're mean to you or if they're just always unavailable, that's what I attract.

Now it's sad. That's not healthy. Your dad is's sad. That's not healthy? That's not healthy. Your dad is a doctor. My father is a doctor, yes. Hey, what sort of doctor? Obstetrics and gynecology. Oh, okay.

Wow. And he's not Jewish. Not. And he was absent a lot? He was working all the time? Well, I was one of his side children. Oh, that's interesting. I've heard about that in the black community.

Right, right, right. Yes. I've heard about that phenomenon. But he's not. I never thought I'd see it in person. But he's an obstetrician. He is not the stereotype of the black community. I actually know like three other people who are who either

are children of side children or found out that their father had a side child when he died. That kind of thing. Yeah. It's really common.

I would not be shocked if my father had one. Yeah. You know what? That certainly could have happened. Could have happened. Yeah.

So do we want to get back to that night? You want to talk more about the show? I got something interesting on this show. Ryan has an interesting point about the show. Ryan, by the way, was quoted. Are you going to talk about how you were referred to? No. He was referred to as some guy.

Somebody wrote something online. I went to the cell last night and I saw Amy Schumer and David Hill and some guy from Idaho. Right. And, of course, this is the some guy from Idaho that he was talking about. Well, yeah, there is that. Michelle Wolf sent me a – somebody on the Internet just did a rundown of the show, like in a comment on a news story. And so I became the dude from Idaho, and that got a little traction online.

But that's not what I was going to talk about. What I was going to talk about is that I've been talking about a couple of times being on that show on stage, and bring up I was it I just it kind of comes up and then uh I talk I go do you know the story and I would say three quarters of the audience knows what I'm talking about you know somebody and then I go I'm the guy that you didn't know on the show and they all go and then they like me more I feel like yeah how do you like Ryan Hamilton more I think it was possible he's like at the do you like Ryan Hamilton more is the question. I didn't think it was possible. He's like at the maximum, I thought.

But it is true. I was at dinner with someone the other day, some girl, and she said, oh, I heard about that show. And I said, oh, really? You know about it? She said, yeah, all my friends know about it too. Like, apparently, it got some penetration. Front page of New York Times Online. It was in the Wall Street Journal. It was on CNN. It was on Good Morning America. It was in the Wall Street Journal. It was on CNN. It was on Good Morning America.

It was in the Subways. It was... It's a Time magazine. It was literally millions... And that very night... Anytime you want to jump in. Sorry. And that very night,

by the way, that that happened, we were doing... We had the podcast that night. That very night, dumb gnome was talking about, well, you know, I mean, things are good now, but they could

change at any time, and the stand could catch up to us. Listen, so and that very night, that happened. Thank you, Keith. This is why I love Keith Robinson. You understand. No, but Noam obviously continued to be vigilant, but also, Noam

is unjustly paranoid. This club, you could do nothing at all. You have a 10-year lead on these other clubs. And that's if you do nothing. If he thinks that, he'll lose that lead. He's got to have some... He's got to believe that he's always... But he needs to have some confidence. I don't think he understands.

It's not confidence. The reality is... Let the man say something. When you own a club, as I have done, no. When you own a club, you can't afford to relax on it. You've got to stay ahead of the game. You've got to constantly think that, okay, who's my competition? Who's coming after me?

And that keeps you where you should be at. He's got to think that everybody can catch on. Noam is paranoid. First of all, my belief is that Noam has enough money anyway to last the rest of his life. I don't know that for sure. What difference does that make? I don't. I don't.

I have to work. But what does that have to do with anything? I just feel like you're a little too worried. What do you think? I think you can relax a bit. Hang out. Have a cocktail. This is how stupid you are.

All right. You think that what I'm worried about is financial. That's what I thought. No. What I'm worried about is the humiliation of being second when I was first. Oh, okay. Yeah, you should be. It's hard to wear the crown, right?

Yeah. I don't want to. Heavy is the king that wears the crown. Heavy is the head. Uneasy is the head that wears the crown. Only because I look that up recently. I don't want to be the guy who took it and flopped for any amount of money. Even if I made more money, I wouldn't want to do it. You don't know that? I know it now, and fair enough, and it makes perfect sense.

But even given that, I think, you know, you're beating so senseless. I mean, at some point, it's like it's almost as if, who's it, like Floyd Mayweather? Is he the big boxing guy? It's almost as if he's like that Dan Aderman, he could flatten me at any moment. But he does think like that. That's why he stays in that gym. But if his competition were me, he wouldn't think. He would have a little bit more relaxed.

I'm saying, the beating Noam is giving these other players, the beating. And to keep doing that. You gotta do it. It's such a beating. I've never seen such a beating. This is more than Coke versus RC Cola beating. That was Wednesday night, right?

It was Wednesday night. So I got word that this was going on. I was the pussycat, and I didn't come over here. I was so like, because I didn't even want to risk forcing them to have to deal with me when I know they don't want to see me. Like if it was just Amy over here, whatever, we don't talk a lot of time. But among that, you know, what is it, Mount Olympus thing, I didn't even want to come in because I felt like that would just alter the atmosphere a little bit and they would have to pretend to be saying, hi, how are you? And Jerry Seinfeld.

So that's how out of it and disconnected I am from it. I only care that it continues. I just want it to be successful. I don't need any to be involved in it. I don't need to. It is my belief. I think part of the problem is that a lot of the other club owners really do want to be chummy with famous people. And I think that's a reason for them not to come.

That's why. Yes, I think so. He's right about that. I think so. They feel when they come here, they're not going to be molested at least not by Noam. If Chris Rock walks in and I've had some normal nice conversation

with Chris Rock when it just happened spontaneously how are you? What do you want to drink? And that's it I'll leave him alone. Alright.

That's a good strategy. Yes. And so you don't have to come in it's my belief that you could take the next 10 years off and this place would run reasonably well.

And what would I do, Dan? I'm not saying you should do it. I'm not saying you should. I'm saying that's – I'm saying – It's not what we should be talking about. Okay. Yeah, that's – Dan.

What's wrong with that? Come on, Dan. Let's talk about somebody's sex life. It always goes there, doesn't it? Well, Trump. Do you want to talk about something with Trump, who just recently came out in favor of, or not in favor of? I will say something that is perhaps racially controversial.

Trump got a lot of flack for referring to the carnage. In Chicago. In Chicago, in his... You're from Chicago, aren't you? I am not. Okay. flack for referring to the carnage in Chicago. You're from Chicago, aren't you? I am not. In his inaugural speech. And I was thinking that if white people were being shot in Chicago

at the percentage that black people were being shot, white people would be fucking up in arms and nobody would think twice about calling it carnage. Or even if it was black people being shot by white people would be fucking up in arms and nobody would think twice about calling it carnage. Or even if it was black people being shot by white people at that kind of number, everybody would be calling it carnage. When I hear about thousands of people being shot,

I'm like, why are we not reacting to this? To the enormity of... This is thousands of people being shot. People are reacting to it like that. That's carnage. They are. Why can't you call's carnage i mean they are why can't you call it carnage that that to me is who's who complained the entire world of america people are upset about it people are doing marching they've been doing all that crying

marching whatever before trump but when they hear that they hear super predators they hear Richard Nixon. They hear super predators. They hear Reagan. They hear even Bill Clinton. Because we know what's coming after that. Law and order.

Making a police state arrest black people more. Isn't it very touchy when a white man comments on what goes on in the black community? He's basically saying black people are the the subtext is that they're a violent community. Can I answer both things?

First of all, I know what Keith is saying, and I think that's an association that the mind makes, but if you think about it more carefully, when Richard Nixon was talking about law and order, to the extent that it was a racial thing, he was talking about white people being threatened by minorities, and he was playing the race card. Yeah. This was Trump talking about black people, human beings, citizens, being murdered

in an unprecedented... It's a trigger. Don't you understand? And I want my president to care about that. Don't talk about it. Don't you really think he cares, though? That's my thing. I don't think he cares at all. But I mean, I can't read his mind.

Don't you understand? I think Trump is unhinged in many ways, but I'm not ready to say he doesn't care about that. Why would he bring it up? I'm going to tell you what it is. He didn't gain from it. We've heard it before. We've been through it before. And we black people have been fooled by before.

Yes. We took to it like, yeah, let's do that. And then all those consequences is there. It's right there. History tells us everything we need to know. So it's not the word carnage. It's simply that he shouldn't talk about it at all. No.

Because carnage is a trigger. Because what he was saying, it's like a trigger word with like rape victims have trigger words. If you say something like carnage, that gets people tense. Okay, but as comedians, we don't like trigger word nonsense. Don't you think that... He's describing a... The way I heard it, he was describing a situation, and I talked about this with Baratunde, a situation of a group of people, many of them are children and sick people getting shot,

who are being knocked off like flies. And America is doing nothing about it. And we need to do something about it. Nobody is speaking for these thousands of people in Chicago who are getting killed. What is Trump going to do about it? I don't know. He's going to send in the feds. Do you understand?

Yes, I do understand. I'm just saying that I didn't see anything. If he suggested a policy, which you could argue to me this is not a good policy, I'd say, yeah, you're right. But the idea of describing it as carnage. Carnage, he said that for a reason. Let's set up the next movie. How would you, if he shouldn't talk about it, then say he shouldn't talk about it. If he is going to talk about it, can he not talk about it as something horrible and urgent?

I just think it's piggybacking on everything he said during his election and campaigning at the RNC when he was talking about how black people just live in these communities that are so ridiculously fraught with all of this violence and it's like, can I tell you a story about that? This really happened. I don't want to say who it was, but I was at the bar here watching Trump's inaugural, I mean convention speech

with a black guy. And Trump was saying that thing about, he says, what have you got to lose? Remember that? He says, what have you got to lose? And the black guy was sitting and was like, yeah, you know, he was like, he received it sympathetically. Two weeks later, that black guy was on Facebook just

blasting Trump for that very same part. I'm like, motherfucker, I was standing next to you when you received it without having heard how you were supposed to receive it, how it got spun, and you received it in a positive way. But once they got to you,

you turned up. And I was thinking, like, yeah, if I was in Baltimore with all the, everything going bad in Baltimore, after 50 years, 50 years of one party rule in the state and the city, and I say, what the fuck, why would I think another four years is going to be good

for me? What the fuck do I have to lose? How much worse could the Republicans be than the last 50 years? But Republicans, look, it's not about Republicans. Yeah, it is. But you gotta see it from the perspective of history. We know in history what we had to lose.

Trump has been a Democrat most of his life. Trump don't know what he is. White Southerner. Trump's not a Mormon from Idaho. But it's still the Central Park Five, that shit. But Trump wants... Trump's not from a religion that only let black people in the day before yesterday.

But, look... How do I get drunk into this? No, not you! I think that Trump is getting most of his stuff from Richard Nixon. I'm the president of law and order. And, you know, we've just seen it before. And we've seen Rangel fall for it. We've seen our leaders fall for this.

Sammy Davis. Everybody falls for it. He voted for Nixon. And we, you know, and we go to jail. We go to jail in droves and droves and droves and droves and droves. Keith went to jail, you know why? He was drunk

driving the wrong way down a one-way street and he told the cop to go fuck himself. Yeah. Everybody knows. I'm proud of you. I come from a long line of cop fighters in my family. Yes. I've heard about your mama.

That's a family thing. You know, but. Can I have a fragile? That's what it is. But Trump really, he, I'm telling you, he's a dangerous dude. And he's going to be dangerous for a lot of people. Yeah, he doesn't have a leg to stand on with minorities. That's the problem, especially black people. He does not have a leg to stand on with minorities. That's the problem, especially black people.

He does not have a leg to stand on with us. So everything he says is going to piss us off. Well, the tone of the whole speech and I think Carnage added to this is that nothing was great ever. Setting himself up to be that guy.

Right. That's ego driven. I felt like Carnage contributed to that tone. That everything's worse than it actually is. Yeah. It's like being black in America. Right. You're terrible. You have nothing to lose.

It's what he's saying underneath. Isn't just the idea of a white guy talking about violence in the black community in and of itself enough to make people uneasy? Yes, it is, unfortunately. But fuck that. Why can't an American talk about other Americans in trouble? It's not that. It's Trump talking about that. Yeah, I get that.

I get that. I'm just saying. That's what it is. What Dan just said about the very whiteness of it. Look, this guy is the most insecure, egotistical guy I've ever seen. It's like, wow, he's 70 years old. Besides Robert Kelly. No, you're a 70-year-old billionaire, and you're worried about crowd size.

That's psychotic to me. Listen, on this aspect of Trump, and if Dan will tell you he follows my Facebook, this is the one thing I've identified about Trump from day one. This is the real issue with Trump is that he's unhinged on anything that impinges on his ego or

to the point of a disconnect from the truth. I couldn't have a manager in the olive tree like that. It's a serious... And in foreign affairs, it scares the shit out of me.

That's what I'm saying. It's bad. What I don't agree is that you can jump from that to his bad intentions towards this person or that person. I think that... I don't think Trump actually...

I think Trump is actually much more concerned about a lot of things than you give him credit for. Trump was, made it very clear, nobody's to lose their health insurance. This was reported. I think that if you want to make him one dimensionally. I couldn't even answer that. If you want to make him one dimensionally evil,

you're going to be guilty of overestimating his evilness. No, I think his ego is the biggest problem. That is the huge problem. Lack of respect for the truth. What he was saying, carnage and I and I alone, he's setting it up. These other guys, you have all these presidents in there. You have Bush,

this one, that one, and he's the guy. Listen, you think we should build infrastructure in this country? No, no, I'm not infrastructure boy. They've been trying to do that. Let me tell you the ugly irony of a Trump. If Hillary Clinton had won and she proposed

exactly the same infrastructure package that Trump is going to propose, she would never get it through. The Republicans would fill her buzzer. Trump will be able to get it through the Republicans with Philip Bush. Trump will be able to get it through. That's another issue. From a very practical,

you know, without getting unpartisan, like, this guy has a latitude to accomplish things which Hillary would have never had. And if he chooses to use that latitude to build infrastructure, we're going to benefit from that. If he uses that latitude to build infrastructure, we're going to benefit from that.

If he uses that latitude to fix Obamacare in a way that the pharmaceutical lobbies and all the lobbies that ruined Obamacare when Obama was trying to get through, then there are possible benefits from this guy, and there's tremendous risks from this guy. But to view anything as one-dimensional is almost always you look foolish looking back at it ten years later. Noam is a believer that any infrastructure is good. I'm not advocating infrastructure. We don't need a damn wall. Noam wants more bridges. No, you're missing my point.

You're talking about you want more bridges. You said that. No, my point is that partisan politics being what it is, one party will automatically oppose the other party. But now I'm getting to another topic, which is your obsession with infrastructure. I don't like sitting in fucking traffic trying to get home from Jersey. There should be a fucking bridge. In the 30s, they would have built another bridge. Listen.

Blame Chris Chrissy for that. And social mobility. You can build more highways and bridges until the cows come home, but there's other considerations. There's considerations of cost. There's considerations of inviting more cars on the road, environmental considerations. Can we get Laster back here? Laster will— I've got to go.

I've got to spot him. All right. So go ahead. As Laster to come back? I mean, I don't think it's an open-and-shut case that we need more bridges. So what did you guys talk about at the Blue Ribbon? All right, we're getting off. They didn't talk about bridges, I assume, but maybe they did.

No, no, no. Let me ask you this. Did somebody say something which you said to yourself, wow, I can't ever repeat this? Yeah. Yeah. Things like that happen. I don't like.

Oh, go ahead. What was it? Well, just as the baby of the situation, I just feel like there's most of the stuff I can't really mention. The fact that I mentioned where the dinner was, I feel like that's going to come back to me. But just hearing them talk, I mean, it's a comics conversation, so it's the same conversation we have at the tables back here.

We talk about other comics. We talk about what's funny. They were talking about going to meet Trump for a meeting, things like that. Politics were discussed. Oh, Amy is Chuck Schumer's cousin. Yes. So she might have some inside information even about Trump. Go Chuck Schumer.

I will say that I don't enjoy when they come here and they all sit at the table. I'm almost never at that table because to me it's not a real conversation that I'm having. It's them holding court and I don't feel like I have the right to just have a normal conversation. So I'd just rather not involve myself at all. It's a regular conversation. Well, it is, but it's a regular conversation that I would not feel comfortable interjecting into and that I would be looked at as something lesser, so I just would rather not involve myself. I didn't feel comfortable.

Trust that. I didn't feel comfortable. Let me ask you this. Did you notice if certain people were concerned about putting you at ease and if certain people were not concerned about putting you at ease? I always notice that. I notice that all the time. And did you detect a differential at that table?

Oh, for sure. I mean, I detect that when I just walk in here after only being passed for a couple of months and sitting down at the table. Like, Chappelle, he has, like, the most kind aura about him. He's the sweetest. Of almost any human being. Neil Brennan just walked in.

Let's talk about Chappelle. And he's just, like, he can almost make you forget that he's, you know, maybe the most important comic of the last 20 years. And that's just the way he always was. Yeah, and he's still like that that and he just calms your spirit and he's very much a people person so he likes to talk about you rather than him

so he's always made me feel at ease of being in his presence and he remembers he came in one time when my daughter was born and then he came in a year later and said how's your daughter I'm like I can't remember people

he remembers. He's brilliant. John Laster is back, everybody. He's been hard work at emceeing, which is something I used to do, but no longer do. Twitch to him while I pee. Okay. You have to go?

Bathroom. Julia has to go to the bathroom. We're back with John Laster. How's the show going, John? Phenomenal. Any special guests? It's not quite the... Not tonight.

All the guests here are special. Well, the show is always good anyway. Yes. But, you know, there's an excitement and a buzz when, you know, a big... Without question. I mean, you got to think, man. You know, you get on a plane, man. You come to New York and you walk into this joint, you know,

after hearing the stuff that you hear, anytime you get a special guest, not to mention if you're from most of America, like that's a huge deal. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, you know what? I take that back. Even if you're a New Yorker, like where do you walk in someplace for a damn $14 and see a household name.

We took care of that. It's $15 now. What I want to know is, what I would like to know is, now, Nome, do you do anything, you don't do any, or do you on the website, do you ask people, how did you find out about the Comedy Cellar? We do, but I haven't looked at it in a long time. I'm just sort of interested in knowing why people are down there. I mean, every single night, show after show after show, these rooms are full.

Yes. And what do you think accounts for that? I mean, how much of it is that there's word of mouth? Oh, you know, guess who? Seinfeld might stop by, or Amy Schumer might stop by. 100% is word of mouth. And if you want to include social media as word of mouth, which I think it is. Technically, yeah.

It's 100% word of mouth. We don't advertise. Wow, that's, okay, so, but people from, like, the middle of the country, I mean, they're hearing about it from their friends from Ohio

that were here in New York and went? When I had the Cafe Wah, this is, you know, 20 years ago, and I was at my heyday there, there was no social media, there was no advertising,

and we were packed every night with a line to get in. And that was just word of mouth throughout the world. Well, you know what the other thing, though, too, is I also know that once you touch down in New York, if you ask someone, hey, I want to see a comedy show, where do I go?

You know what I mean? The first thing out of their mouth is going to be like, hey, you got to go down to the comedy cellar. If I ask 20 random people in New York, have you ever heard of the Comedy Cellar? How many do you think would say they've heard of it? After last week, a lot more. I don't know. Probably half.

And half is an enormous amount. Yeah. I mean, as New York institutions go, we're getting there. We're kind of getting into like the Peter Luger type. Oh, what do you mean getting? Like, I think if someone says, hey,

I'm going to a comedy show, if someone says, hey, I want to go to a comedy show, I think that more than half would say you got to go to the cellar. People who are into comedy,

but I still think more people have heard of Caroline's probably. I don't know. I don't care. I do want to ask you this before we're just about out of time.

But shouldn't you care because, you know, looking at it, as you had said earlier, you want to stay vigilant. You don't want to rest on your laurels. And so whatever's working, you want to focus on that. There's nothing I can do. The only thing I can focus on is making sure that the experience of the customer who comes here is such that they want to come back. That's it. There's nothing else. Definitely have that.

They have to feel that the show is good, that we didn't gouge them, and we don't. And we don't charge $8 for a Coke, and we don't charge $16. We charge regular bar prices for our drinks, and the cover charge is reasonable, and we don't charge a fee for tickets. They always show a $5 fee on top of your ticket fee. We don't charge a fee for tickets. Like, you know, they always show, like, a $5 fee on top of your ticket fee. We don't charge any fee. We do everything in a way that is intended to be around for a long time. And also make sure that chicken is cooked appropriately.

That's the cutlet. I'll ask you this. Well, because it's not. Sometimes it's not. The cutlet? Oh, no, the chicken cutlet is amazing. I don't love the cutlet, but reasonable minds can differ on the cutlet. The cutlet? Oh, no, the chicken cutlet is amazing. I don't love the cutlet, but reasonable minds can differ on the cutlet. The cutlet is awesome.

As far as the burger is concerned, we can all agree that that's great. The steak is amazing. The steak is a good steak. How competitive do you think that group of comedians is with each other when they're either socializing at a table or seeing each other going on serially in the same show? Do you think it fucks with them? I think personally that Dave

and Chris had a little bit of a back and forth with their Netflix deals. That's just my personal opinion on that. I think Chris got his deal, but Dave was like, ha ha. I really feel like it was a cute little... Just fun. Didn't they basically get the same deal? $20 million per hour? Yeah, ha-ha. I really feel like it was like a cute little, just fun. Didn't they basically get the same deal, $20 million per hour?

Yeah. Well, Dave got three of those $20 million. That's a lot of fucking money. With two in the can already. They paid him $40 million for two he already did. For two already and then another $20 for one and Chris has to do two. Yeah. Chris was joking about that in the hallway too.

He said, you've taking up all the money. Oh yeah. Yeah, they fuck with each other with that. So that's one of the things I can say that they kind of mess with each other with that. Yeah.

Like, I mean, I see in another context like comedians try to go up there with Dave Attell. You've seen it, haven't you? Oh yeah. And nobody,

even fans, nobody can hang with Dave Attell. No, no, no. He is like one of these Wild West sharpshooters, you know, like Jesse James. I mean, and Chappelle is kind of like that, too. I would not want to have to go on stage and spar with Chappelle. What was Kilmer's name in Tombstone?

Oh, I don't remember. Oh, Holiday. Yeah, Doc Holiday. I'll be Huckleberry. That's Dave Mattel, standing there with the gun whistling, I don't remember. Oh, Holiday. Yeah, Doc Holiday. I'll be a Huckleberry. That's Dave Mattel standing there with the gun whistling like, go ahead.

Pull your shit out. Because Chappelle, in my estimation, doesn't even need to be funny. No. And almost nobody has that.

He could just talk about anything. He'd just be up there and smile. Be like, oh, yeah, this is great. That's a gift. He doesn't be up there and smile and be like, oh, yeah, this is great. That's a gift. He doesn't have to be funny to do what?

To be compelling. Yeah, exactly. Exactly the word, to be compelling. The other guys, they have to hit with some kind of joke. Other people say, what's with this guy? Oh, I saw him. He's kind of disappointing. Chappelle, just get up there and shoot the shit. You're talking about Chappelle. Oh, I thought you were talking about Attell. No, no, I'm talking about Dave Chappelle. To go up there against Dave Chappelle, or're talking about Chappelle. Oh, I thought you were talking about Attell. No, no. I'm talking about

Dave Chappelle. To go up there against Dave Chappelle, or not against, with Dave Chappelle is tough because you need to be funny. Chappelle doesn't. I don't know. Chappelle is comfortable not being funny. I'm comfortable not being funny. I think that Chris Rock, I think anybody with

an interesting perspective and point of view could be interesting. You have to have the balls to do it. You have to have the balls to go on stage and not get a laugh every two seconds. And I think that that's a big issue. Certainly, I think most of us. Don't get me wrong. What Chris has, you kind of hit on this, what other people don't have.

I mean, everybody has their thing. I describe what I think Chappelle has. Chris has this amazing, like, almost, you know, philosophical insight into the world and premises. Although Chappelle kind of has a little of that, too. He keeps it, it's more subtle when it comes out of Chappelle. Yeah. But Chris is a deep thinker, you know,

and people do find that compelling. But it's, I don't know, the dynamic of two different people up there together is always interesting to me. Like Jeff Ross and Dave Attell go on there together. And it's interesting to see. Yeah, Chris and Dave ended that night together. Together, yeah.

Attell's improv, yeah, is off the charts. But Dave Chappelle is unbelievably comfortable in his own skin. Yes. Unbelievably comfortable. Yeah. And like I said, you know, and that's compelling that someone can stand there. I've probably only seen one other person who I've seen that could stand there like a quarterback in the pocket like that and his feet aren't moving the whole time. And Ted Alexandro.

I was just going to say, Ted Alexandro is like, that's amazing. I was literally going to say Ted Alexandro. I mean, just nerves of steel, you know? Very relaxed right there. Yeah, yeah. My feet are always dancing in the pocket. Those two can stand there and pick their targets. Yeah.

At their will. Yeah. Not dependent on audience reaction at all. Yeah, and you stand there and stare at it like, this guy's not nervous, you know? It's compelling. You know, I think you're born with that. Yeah. I think we got to go. You know? It's compelling. I think you're born with that. I think we've got to go.

Well, I don't know. Maybe it's just they weren't given a certain confidence as children growing up. They didn't feel the... I always felt insecure growing up, and it translates into being on stage and feeling if I don't get a laugh every two seconds, you know,

there's going to be a riot. They're going to start walking out. I remember hearing that the astronauts that went up with John Glenn during that, the ride stuff, you know, NASA hooks you up to medical, all your vital signs are monitored. And apparently the other two astronauts, their pulse rate elevated, everything they're measuring, and John Glenn showed almost no signs of anything even during liftoff. And they attributed it just to his

way he is. Things just didn't affect him in the same way. He was just naturally calm. I mean, and we see that in personality types. I see it in my kids. And looking calm in your EKG sitting there like that is two different things. That means that guy was like,

let's do this. Actually calm. Yeah. I'm ready. Let's do this. I think Ted Alexandro and Dave Chappelle's EKG calm. Yeah. And you know who else is EKG? I hate to admit it. Ray Allen. Ray Allen. Yes, probably so. Some people don't get phased.

He does not get... And he should be phased. He should be more concerned. He should be phased. Ray, run for it. It's not working out, brother. A little panic might suit you well right now. Well, I'm at the opposite end of that spectrum. Yeah, you'd

be better. I see you. Sometimes one little thing will throw you off your groove and you never recover. That is true. I really shouldn't be doing this for a living. When it all goes well, I do well, but it's just

why I don't like going on the road. I always thought that I'd do this for a few years and get it's, this is why I don't like going on the road. I don't like doing, I was never, I always thought that I'd do this for a few years and get a sitcom. This is what was happening when I started, you know, for some people. I saw, like, you know, Roseanne Barr. I was like, oh, yeah, I could be that funny, and then I'll just get a sitcom and that'll be it. Who knew

that after 25 years I'd still be, you know, pounding it out? By the way, I didn't say anything that I need to remove about anybody famous tonight. Not about anybody famous, but Ray took a bit of a beating. I think you owe Ray an apology. They have the show

in Aruba? I don't think so. They have the internet in Aruba. Alright, that's it. So, thank you guys very much for coming. Dan, do you guys want to go around and give your Twitter stuff and whatever? No, I think Twitter Is Twitter still, is that still a thing?

The president loves it The president does love it But I'm saying, I've noticed That when I tweet something really, really good It doesn't get the same retweets that it used to get I think there's less Also, it never got that many anyway Activity

I'm on Instagram I don't think you can build a following. I am on Insta, as the kids call it. They call it Insta, right? I may be too old to say Insta. There are pictures from that night on Instagram. My Instagram is he was funny.

He was funny. My Instagram need not concern anyone because I don't see it as a way for me to get a follow on Instagram. My stuff is kind of the only stuff on there because you can't take pictures in there. That's why a lot of them were just, they were screenshotting my Instagram and just using them in those early articles because that was really their only glimpse inside. Can you believe that not one fucking person snuck a recording of any kind of that show? Well, that's a testament to your security. Hell, yeah.

Because they don't fuck around. I would have found a way to put my phone on. Yeah. Yeah, no. This first guy, man, you guys are going to recognize from the Colbert show, man. If you give him a lot of energy, he'll give it right back to you. You guys ready for the first comedian? Say hell yeah! Hell yeah! You got to do better

than that. Say hell yeah! Hell yeah! And make a lot of noise for Mr. Ryan Hamilton! This next guy's a goddamn crowd favorite at the comedy cellar. Give it up for Mr. Dave Attell! Please, no cameras, no photography, man.

We'll have a good time. We'll continue to have a good time, man. I promise you that, man. If you guys are having a good time, say hell yeah. You gotta do better than that, man. Say hell yeah. Hell yeah. You gotta do better than that, man. Say hell yeah. Hell yeah. Give it up, man, for the legend, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld.

Jerry motherfucking Seinfeld. Ha ha. Bet you didn't know you was going to get that for no goddamn $14. Fucking $14? Get the fuck out of here and then I'm up here trying to tell y'all I'm up here trying to tell y'all not to take pictures and Jerry was like fuck him you gonna take pictures

right that was fucked up I'm like man the management told me that I'm trying to keep my $100 job man fuck out of here. Jerry up here with that nice ass blazer on and a billion dollars. Motherfucker, I need my hundred dollars, man. Fuck you. I'm doing what I was told. Fuck your rich ass, Jerry. Shit. You leaving on a jet tonight, motherfucker. I'm getting out of here on the boom boom. Next stop, Brooklyn. I'm leaving on the boom boom.

All joking aside, I need to reiterate, I know Jerry was cool with it, but everybody's not, so please, please, please do me a favor. No cameras, no video. Could you guys do that for me? Could you guys do that for me? Could you guys do that for me? Thank you, man. You guys ready

for the next comedian? I'm telling you, we got a hell of a ride, man. Say hell yeah! You gotta do better than that. Say hell yeah! Give it up for Miss Amy Schumer! Yeah! $14 fucking dollars. Is this the best $14 ever or what, motherfucker?

That motherfucker said, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Well, keep that up, man. You guys ready, man? We're going to keep this rolling. I'm not going to get in the way of this great show, man. You guys ready for your next comedian? Say hell yeah. No cameras, no video. No show, man. You guys ready for your next comedian? Say hell yeah. No cameras. No video.

No cameras. No video. You ready for your next comedian? Say hell yeah. Give it up for one of the greatest of all time, man. Are we having a good time in this motherfucker? We having a good time? You guys ready for the last comedian, man? Say hell yeah!

You guys can do better than that after all that. Say hell yeah. Give it up for one of the greatest of all time, Mr. Dave Chappelle. Okay, we gotta go. Your Instagram. Instagram and Twitter, Joyelle Nicole,

J-O-Y-E-L-L-A, and I see a lot of you. Okay, thank you very much, everybody. Good night.