The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Sopan Deb & Jim David

Episode Date: December 9, 2017

Sopan Deb is a culture writer for The New York Times, writing about the intersection of politics and culture, among other topics. Before joining The Times, he covered Donald Trump's presidential camp...aign for CBS News from start to finish as a campaign embed. He covered hundreds of rallies in more than 40 states for a year and a half. He is also a New York City-based stand up comedian.  Jim David is a legendary New York City-based standup comedian. He may be seen performing regularly at the Comedy Cellar.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to The Comedy Cellar, live from the table, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to The Comedy Cellar Show here on Sirius XM Channel 99. My name is Noam Dwarman. I'm the owner of The Comedy Cellar. We are here at the back table of The Comedy Cellar. I'm here, as almost always, with my co-host, Mr. Dan Natterman. Thank you, Noam. My nemesis. Well, I don't know why you keep saying that. I heard you last week talking about all the conflict we have.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Anyway, one of our favorite guests, Mr. Jim David. Hello. Hello, Jim. And then we have a special guest today. His name is Sopan Deb. He's a culture writer for the New York Times. That's the organ that brought down Louis C.K., writing about the intersection of politics and culture,
Starting point is 00:00:48 among other topics. Before joining the Times, he covered Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Wow. For CBS News, from start to finish as campaign embed. He covered hundreds of rallies in more than 40 states for a year and a half. He is also a New York City-based stand-up comedian.
Starting point is 00:01:03 And, uh, okay. He knits. He knits and he cooks. I'm sorry. I left the knitting out of the bio. Do you knit? No, I promised last week. My volume on my headset could be a little higher.
Starting point is 00:01:17 Jesus, you think while you're sitting here doing nothing, you could check that day? Well, I'm not a technical guy. Really? You don't know how to turn up a volume? Go ahead. Try now. No, it's not very good. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:01:27 I don't know if that's my... Go ahead. Well, anyway, it's not very good. But anyway, I promised... Now, last week you weren't here, and I did a solo show. That is to say, without you, we had guests. But I did promise the guests that we'd talk about your adventures at sea. No doubt you were on a Disney cruise for a week,
Starting point is 00:01:45 and no doubt that you have many exciting tales. We have a guy here who covered the Trump campaign as an embed and you always talk about my embed in the Disney cruise. I'm far more interested in the Disney cruise to be honest with you. Well, it was a lot of Trump supporters on that Disney cruise. Is that right? Is that true?
Starting point is 00:02:01 And my wife was wearing a t-shirt that said the future is Latino. It's true. I've performed on cruises. Did you see the comedy show? Did they have a comedy show on board? I didn't go. There was one I didn't go.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Do you recall the name of the comedian? No, I don't. Mody or something like that? No, it wasn't Mody. You should have gone, though, because that would have been interesting to hear your take on a Disney comedy cruise comedy show. I've never been on a cruise, by the way. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:27 I don't see the appeal. You know how most cruise ships have a horn where they go like that? The Disney Cruises horn, I swear to God, goes Did you hear that? Yeah, of course I heard it. It was awesome. Does that get grating after a couple days?
Starting point is 00:02:46 No. First of all, I love the whole thing. I have three children. Oh, yeah. Two children and a baby. And this was like, there was Marvel characters walking around and princesses walking around. They loved it. Anapomorphic bananas.
Starting point is 00:02:59 And, yeah, this was the greatest thing ever. You have three kids? I have three kids, but one's an infant. What's the age range? Five and four. Can I make a recommendation to you, if I may? Careful. No, no.
Starting point is 00:03:14 I'm going to do a self-plug here, and that's very tacky. I knew something was coming. But I recently saw the SpongeBob SquarePants musical on Broadway. Yeah. And if you have three kids, it is one of the best musicals to take a kiss to right now. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:03:30 It was a great... Why is this a plug for you? Well, I wrote about it last week at the Times. Ah. That's why. Okay, let's talk about your New York Times.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Okay, well... And I read that article because I'm fascinated with the idea that SpongeBob is a musical. I was very skeptical walking in. Did you know anything about Spongebob going in? I knew a little bit.
Starting point is 00:03:50 I know nothing. Can you not hijack this musical theater, Jim? I don't want to say it out loud, but come on. Did you know this? Excuse me. You bring up an upcoming Broadway musical and a gay guy is at the table. This is bound to happen. It's Spongebob.
Starting point is 00:04:05 But still, it's a $20 million musical. This is not in the New York theater market. That's a big budget. I imagine sponges are an essential part of gay sex. Anyway, go ahead. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:04:22 But in all seriousness, a quarter of Spongebob's TV viewership is made up of adults without children. It is pretty funny. So for those of you that are under the influence, apparently... You're saying it's fun for the whole family. Right. And I'm waiting in line to walk
Starting point is 00:04:38 into Spongebob, and multiple people are outside handing out joints. Like, yeah, I've got a Lucy here. So you can get stoned to watch the show. I think, but there is actually an audience of stoners for SpongeBob. That's like a thing. I didn't know that until I started writing this story, but there is
Starting point is 00:04:54 actually an audience of, you know, and the SpongeBob folks, the Nickelodeon folks, they're not going to say this out loud. They're not going to say, oh yeah, yeah. Gentlemen, enough with the SpongeBob. I want to talk about stuff that interests me. Let's change from talking about a family-friendly show to a president who incites anti-Muslim violence worldwide.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Are you a Muslim? I'm not, no. What's your heritage? My parents were both born in India. They brought me up Hindu, but I'm agnostic. Okay. A great stand-up joke I heard once, which was, I'm agnostic,
Starting point is 00:05:28 you know, just in case. And that's where I fall. Wait, can you be an agnostic and a Hindu? Because is a Hindu about the deity, or I thought a Hindu was more spiritual? I mean, it's whatever you want to be, but Hindi is more about having... Hindu, Hindu. Hindu, it's more
Starting point is 00:05:44 about polytheism. There's a lot of different gods. Me, not to get too deep here, but my parents got divorced. They were both arranged to get married in India. And my... Can I tell you, this man was beaten up at a Trump rally.
Starting point is 00:06:00 We'll get to it. We'll be listening by the time we get to it. This man was beaten up At a Trump rally. We'll get to it. Nobody's going to be listening by the time we get to it. This man was beaten up at a Trump rally. Let's cut to that. Covering as a person of color. Tell us about that. How badly beaten were you? Well, okay.
Starting point is 00:06:15 So just to clarify here, the physical stuff had nothing to do with Trump. It had to do with Chicago police. So Trump was doing a rally, I think it was March 18th, 2016 in Chicago. A day that will live in infamy. And so he's doing a rally in Chicago and
Starting point is 00:06:35 it was always kind of an iffy place for him to do a rally because it's a city and there were protests planned for weeks. Oh, I remember that. I remember that. They're like, why are you doing it in Chicago? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:47 So now just to clarify this, and you'll see why this plays into the story later, is that my parents really have no idea what I do for a living. Unless you're a doctor or an engineer, they don't really know what you do for a living. And even as a campaign reporter, they're like, well, what does that mean? I don't know what that means. All right. Anyway. So I get to – so the campaign – the press corps gets to this rally, and we're inside this basketball arena downtown at this college campus in Chicago. And you can already sense that the environment's very tense.
Starting point is 00:07:17 It's kind of weird. Tense from, like, what standpoint? There are a lot of – there are hundreds of protesters inside the rally already. Oh, that are in the rally. At every Trump rally, there were a lot of protesters. And it was just a part of life. But this one felt different. This one felt like there was an air of something a little bit more aggressive than usual.
Starting point is 00:07:34 On top of that, outside the rally, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of people on the streets of Chicago protesting Trump coming to give a speech downtown. Okay. Anyway. About ten minutes before the speech, an announcement comes over the loudspeaker and says, Donald Trump, you know, Mr. Trump will not be giving a rally tonight or something along those lines. He canceled the rally. At this point, pandemonium breaks loose. I mean, Trump supporters are pushing Trump protesters.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Trump protesters are pushing Trump supporters. Trump protesters are pushing Trump supporters. They're yelling at each other. Like when Natterman missed his spot last week. It was unlike anything I've ever seen. He gets violent. He's the most violent Jew. No, the audience, when they found out he wasn't going to be there. It was pandemonium. Oh, it was the audience.
Starting point is 00:08:20 And then this builds onto the streets. Tears of joy. When you are a reporter, you kind of flick on on your, oh, my God, this is a thing. So I had my camera. I had a camera, and I'm out there shooting footage. Out of nowhere, multiple Chicago police officers grabbed me from behind. I never even got a look at these guys. And they threw me to the ground, and they put a boot to my neck and handcuffed me.
Starting point is 00:08:45 My camera went flying. I had no idea what happened. It was very bizarre. And the crazy thing is that Fox News kind of took my arrest live. Greta Van Susteren, I believe, was the anchor. Anyway, they threw me in a police van, and then they charged me with resisting arrest. At no point did I ever talk to any police officers. At no point did I make any contact.
Starting point is 00:09:05 I literally think what happened was they mistook me for the wrong guy. I think there was a police officer that got hit in the head with something. I don't know that this is the case, but at some point, some police officer got hit in the head. I think they thought I did it. Anyway, long story short, at the end
Starting point is 00:09:22 of the night, you know, at this point, this is going quote-unquote viral. You know, CBS News reporter. I was covering the campaign for CBS. This, you know, CBS News reporter is arrested, charged with resisting arrest, and I get arrested at the end of the night. I forgot to tell my family what had happened. Oh, and they saw it on TV. Well, ish.
Starting point is 00:09:42 My dad lives in India. That's his family. That's his father's name, ish. Right. My father ish, Mr. Ish. My dad lives in India.
Starting point is 00:09:51 He moved to India when I was in high school. My parents got divorced, et cetera, et cetera. I was just so tired at the end of the night and my phone is literally
Starting point is 00:10:00 has a thousand text messages, a thousand emails, and missed phone calls trying to get in touch with me. And I just wanted to go to bed because it was a very kind of traumatic night a little bit. Sure. You got to get to the fight. Come on.
Starting point is 00:10:12 You got to get to it. Well, the next morning my dad calls. I'm thinking it's one of his monthly check-ins or whatever because we don't talk all that often. He calls me. He picks up the phone. He goes, what happened? And I'm like, oh, Dad, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you last night.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Do the accent yeah no thank you and uh i go i'm so sorry uh i'm so sorry come on you gotta do the accent i'm so sorry uh i didn't tell you last night um shit um uh this thing wait a minute how did you know uh that this was you're in india how did that he goes you're in every newspaper in India. Holy. My son's a star. Holy. So he was proud of you. For the first time in my life, my dad got what I did for a living, and it was because I got arrested covering a Trump rally.
Starting point is 00:10:54 What did you do? Listen, as somebody who's been arrested before, and how that arrest has stuck with me on my record, and I was turned down for global entry because of it. Really? Uh-huh. Wow. And it was just a charge.
Starting point is 00:11:06 It was just a reckless driving charge. Reckless driving? Well, they arrested me for DUI, but it was a false arrest because I hadn't been drinking. The policeman just... Were you getting a blowjob while you were driving? Is that how it was reckless? I don't talk about that part. Right.
Starting point is 00:11:20 That was reckless. But, you know, it's still there. Is this on your record, this arrest? No. I don't think so. You ought to check. But the crazy thing is... An arrest is an arrest.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Were you charged with anything? I was charged with resisting arrest. And how was it resolved? Fox News captured my arrest live. And they ran it live. And it clearly showed that I was... And, of course, my camera that I was shooting with also captured what was happening live
Starting point is 00:11:46 I never stopped recording which is a lesson for journalists is that you never stop recording you don't do it no matter like if you're in a situation
Starting point is 00:11:52 like that keep your camera rolling and it clearly showed that I was very polite when the cops arrested I was like excuse me sir hi I'm a journalist
Starting point is 00:11:59 why am I being arrested and no one would answer me and Fox News clearly showed I was very calm and CNN the great thing is when the CPD dropped my charges two days later, they never told me. In fact. Oh, they dropped your charges.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Yeah, yeah. They dropped my charges. And CNN broke the news. CNN is a breaking news. You know, CBS reporter has charges dropped against. I was like, oh, I found out from CNN that my charges were dropped. Oh, so you had the charges dropped. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Yeah, two days later. All right, I didn't. I had to go to court and spend $10,000 on it. $10,000 over a false charge. All told, it was $10,000. And the prosecutor, see, because I don't know how, a lot of the time, the prosecutor's on the level of DUIs and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:12:44 They're just fresh out of law school. And so they want to show that they're strong and all that crap. Let me ask you a question. If I may. This story is not over? This is the longest story anybody's ever told on this show. Well, one thing that you just remind me of is that when a journalist
Starting point is 00:13:00 gets arrested, when a journalist gets like, you know, the corporation steps in and hires a lawyer, a highly paid lawyer that can step in and advocate for you. When I was thrown in the police van, I was thrown in the police van with a 23-year-old Peruvian chef who probably didn't come from much means, and another gentleman who didn't come from much means. And I was thinking to myself, if I can get arrested for some BS, but at least I have a high-powered corporation behind me that can step in and say, this is garbage. Imagine how many people are arrested in those kinds of situations that don't get to have someone step in and say, no, you don't get to treat him like that.
Starting point is 00:13:38 And that's what stuck with me more so than the actual situation. When I was arrested, I was in jail with like 15 people in the same cell at one point. And they were all talking. And I would say like three of them belonged there. Right, right, right. One guy was arrested for smoking a joint on his porch as a police car drove by. You're kidding. No.
Starting point is 00:13:54 This was in the south? This was Florida. Fort Lauderdale. And so it's like you learn that a lot of these arrests are to make money at the local level. I mean, yeah, there's been a lot of reporting about this. Yeah, that's totally right. Did you get strip searched? I did not get strip searched. I got strip searched, and when you
Starting point is 00:14:11 strip search a gay guy, you don't know what the hell's going to fall out of there. It's like a purse. Jim, you say they arrested you for DUI and you hadn't drank a drop of alcohol. No, I had not. How did they determine? Did they give you a breathalyzer? No, he had me do the field sobriety test. This is the walking in a straight line.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Yeah, the walking in a straight line. But you're a gay guy, so you sashayed. Shut up. You sashayed down the line? No, no, listen. Shut up. This is why I hardly ever come to this fucking table, Saban. This is why you have to deal with these monsters over here.
Starting point is 00:14:43 But I had to do the walking in the straight line, and I have a bad left foot. I have posterior. So you went in a circle. Well, no. I mean, the cop says to me, do you have any foot condition or leg condition that will prevent you from doing this thing? And I said, yeah, I've got posterior tibial tendonitis. And he said, I don't believe you. And I said, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:03 The cop said that out loud. He said, I don't believe you. And I said, oh, yeah. The cop said that out loud. He said, I don't believe you. And I said, oh, yeah. I just pulled the phrase posterior tibial tendonitis out of my ass. Well, if you can pronounce posterior. But I couldn't do it, and he decided that I was intoxicated. Ironically, when I was pulled over, the test was pronounced posterior postibial tendonitis.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I really want to talk about something. Yeah, okay, go ahead. No, please, go ahead. Go ahead. Donald Trump, who you guys hate, referred to... I'm a reporter, so I have to be objective about it. Oh, no, you're a reporter.
Starting point is 00:15:34 You guys are never objective about it. So Donald Trump, who you guys hate, referred to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas. Correct. Which I think is a quality joke. And I do not understand why they're calling is a quality joke. And I do not understand why they're calling it racist. Can somebody...
Starting point is 00:15:48 I do not understand... To me, it's like if Rachel Dolezal walked in here and I said, oh, look, it's Rosa Parks. And somebody said, you're making fun of black people.
Starting point is 00:15:56 No, I'm not making fun of black people. I'm making fun of this woman who's pretending to be black. What am I missing? Well, for one thing, a racist said it. No, no, no, no, no, no. If that's all you got, for one thing, a racist said it. No, no, no. If that's all you got,
Starting point is 00:16:08 then fine. Then any joke that he makes can be... Secondly, it was meant not as an affectionate nickname or a... No. It was meant as a derogatory jab. At who? At Elizabeth Warren. Yeah, but that's not racist. Well, but no... She deserves it.
Starting point is 00:16:23 She made up the fact that she's a Native American. She totally made that up. Well, by all accounts, she's never been able to present one ounce of anything to verify it. It could be the use of the word Pocahontas as a general term for Indian, you know. It's tacky. Like if you had said tacky, yes. It's beneath the office. It's beneath. Yes. It's beneath the office. It's beneath the dignity.
Starting point is 00:16:47 It's beneath the dignity. And it was rude to the Indians in the sense that the Indians, sorry, you're standing right in front of him. It was rude to the native Americans because they can't even, he can't even talk because they, because they were there to be honored. And then he,
Starting point is 00:16:59 he, he used that as a platform to make fun of Elizabeth Warren. And, and, and that is rude and, and, uh, boorish. I'm not, I'm not defending Trump for that, but I'm saying there's nothing Warren, and that is rude and boorish. I'm not defending Trump for that, but I'm saying there's nothing you could take from that joke and say, oh, he's disparaging Native Americans.
Starting point is 00:17:11 No, he's making fun of Elizabeth Warren for pretending she's Native American. I see your point. No, I see your point. My only explanation is that maybe, as I said, Pocahontas has been a, you know, that sort of the stereotypical go-to reference for American Indians. Oh, so what? So, let me go back to my example. I think it would be like. If I said, if Rachel Dolezal walked in here and I said, oh, look, it's Rosa Parks.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Would anybody think I didn't like black people? No, but you're not on national television in front of a bunch of black people. No, but you would find black... You think anybody black would think that they took it? You think Keith Robinson would take it? No, but this is the tough crowd. Can you guys ever be objective and just say, you know what? You live in
Starting point is 00:17:56 this hermetically sealed world down here where... So it is racist then? No, I don't think it's racist. That's what I said. I don't think it's racist. So that was your point? Yes, my point is that they're calling it racist and I don't think it's racist. That's what I said. I don't think it's racist. So that was your point? Yes, my point is that they're calling it racist, and I don't think it was. Now, what do you think? Sopan? How do you pronounce it again?
Starting point is 00:18:12 Sopan. Like Chopin, but Sopan. You know, I was at a press conference with Trump in North Dakota during the campaign when he repeatedly, I think it was one of the first times being asked about Elizabeth Warren, and he kept repeatedly referring to her as Elizabeth Warren. And this moment always stuck out to me because he kept calling her Pocahontas
Starting point is 00:18:32 and a Native American journalist was in the room and said, excuse me, Mr. Trump, that is offensive. Please stop saying that. And he totally dismissed that. But the counterintuitive thing to that is... You know, can I just...
Starting point is 00:18:46 Can you hold that thought? No, no, just hold it. We also have a sports team called the Washington Redskins in Washington, D.C., and many Native Americans have said, please, can you stop doing that? Right. And they haven't done that in a lot of liberal Washington, D.C. people go to that game. So I'm just going to cherry pick. I'm going to give you a rare moment of reporter candor here, which is that in that moment, I was like, oh my God, he's saying Pocahontas.
Starting point is 00:19:10 He's saying this slur. How could he? And then a different reporter who is very conservatively aligned confronted a bunch of the reporters interviewed this Native American journalist after she confessed. And one of the conservative journalists said, excuse me, isn't it more offensive if Elizabeth Warren used the Native American heritage to further
Starting point is 00:19:36 her own position? Isn't that actually what is more offensive than if Donald Trump said Pocahontas? And I was like, oh, that's kind of interesting. I'm not saying one way or another. I'm saying that. like, oh, well, that's kind of interesting. I'm not saying one way or another. I'm saying that. I was like, oh, that's kind of interesting. This is the problem. We've become a society that's humorless
Starting point is 00:19:52 and looks under every nook and cranny to try to call somebody a racist. Let me make a point about Trump, though. I saw hundreds of Trump rallies. In more or less, Trump is 100% a stand-up comic in many ways. He comes out, no teleprompter.
Starting point is 00:20:09 He surveys the crowd, okay, and he does crowd work. He tells jokes. When he would come out, when Ted Cruz was his number one opponent. Lion Ted. Lion Ted. He would say, you know. Lion Ted. Lion Ted.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Holds the Bible high high and puts it down and then he lies. And a crowd of 10,000 would chant, Lion Ted, Lion Ted. It was what you'd see with Chris Rock.
Starting point is 00:20:39 And we've never had a candidate like that. He once took a water bottle. He once made a campaign issue four weeks about Marco Rubio drinking the bottled water during a State of the Union response. He once threw the
Starting point is 00:20:56 water in the crowd and said, It's Marco Rubio! And it's like, oh my god. He's a bully. He bullied McCain. He bullied... Noam, let me go back to your original thought. And it's like, oh, my God. He's a bully. He bullied McCain. He bullied... You've also got to... Noam, let me go back to your original thought.
Starting point is 00:21:09 I tweeted this yesterday. Okay. This is a quote from the Alliance of Colonial Era Tribes. Ay-yi-yi. Okay. All right. What do you mean, ay-yi-yi? Ay-yi-yi.
Starting point is 00:21:20 Okay. Ay-yi-yi. Ay-yi-yi. Ay-yi-yi. No, but they said, and I thought this was interesting. That was not a racist joke. The right to determine if it is a slur belongs to those who have been insulted, not the one who made the insult. I totally disagree with that.
Starting point is 00:21:36 You do? I totally, that is actually what's wrong with America today. Oh, is that it? Yeah. Oh, is that it? I really mean that, that the right to determine, because there's no rhyme or reason to it, that they can decide it's okay for you to say it,
Starting point is 00:21:51 it's not okay for you to say it, this bothered me when this one said it, didn't bother me when that one said it, and that's all based on something that I don't have to account for because of my DNA. The question is, if it's a slur, someone should be able to explain to me with a better argument than, well, a Native American said so. Well, no.
Starting point is 00:22:10 I'm sorry. I'm not going to go. All right, but no. If somebody pretended to be Jewish, and somebody said, oh, look, there's, I don't know, there's Goldberg. And I said, that's anti-Semitic. And the guy said, no, it's not anti-Semitic. I'm making fun of him because I think it's wrong that he was pretending to be Jewish. I'm like, no, it's anti-Semitic. And the guy said, no, it's not anti-Semitic. I'm making fun of him because I think it's wrong that he was pretending to be Jewish. I'm like, no, it's anti-Semitic.
Starting point is 00:22:30 I said so. The right is mine. There's somebody who goes, fuck myself. You can't tell somebody the right is theirs. They have to defend it. In defense of what Jim or that quote that Jim read, I think there's something to that. For example, you may believe that somebody who is transgender and identifies as a woman,
Starting point is 00:22:49 you may believe legitimately and rationally that that's a he. Right. But she doesn't want you to call him he. You think it's irrational, but out of courtesy, you call him she. Well, somebody, you might feel it's irrational that Pocahontas is a slur. If Trump referred to an Indian as Pocahontas, a slur. No, if Trump referred to an Indian as
Starting point is 00:23:05 Pocahontas, I would be with you. Let me finish my sentence, please. We got your point. No, you didn't get my point. If you have reason to believe that somebody's going to be If you have reason to believe that somebody's going to be offended by something, don't fucking say it to prove a point. No, that's different. First of all, I don't
Starting point is 00:23:21 Trump is so stupid. He may not have had reason to believe. I think he thought maybe that they were on his side. I think actually quite a few of them probably. See, the thing is that he never ever, and the tweets that he put out today about showing the anti-Muslim tweets, he never passes up an opportunity to troll people. Yes. He is the biggest troll. Here's the moment.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Remember, remember. I want to make one thing about Dan's point, just to be very clear. If he were to refer to an Indian as Pocahontas, that would be quite different. That's disrespectful. But he was not. He was taking an Indian hero,
Starting point is 00:23:58 Pocahontas, and making fun of someone. I don't know if Pocahontas is an Indian hero. A cherished part of Americana and making fun of somebody who was pretending to be that. One time a guy, I was doing... Come on, this is Trump hatred dressed up
Starting point is 00:24:13 as rationality. My point was simply, true or false, if you have reason to believe... If you have reason to believe, and I don't know that this was the case, that somebody will be offended by your words, you should not say it. It's your fault. A stand-up comedian is going to tell me that?
Starting point is 00:24:30 If I have reason to believe that you don't want to be called by some nickname... No, you're not being called by the nickname. If you have reason to believe that something is going to offend somebody... No, comedians go on every night and say things that might offend people. Yeah, but here's... If I may step in here.
Starting point is 00:24:46 You know, if you say I'm pro-life, it's going to offend people. Any joke could offend somebody. Ryan Hamilton did his fucking hot air balloon. You are shielded. Ryan Hamilton did his hot air balloon routine one night, and somebody got offended. Trump was not doing a stand-up back. He was honoring code talkers. Do you see the difference? Yes. It's a very big not doing a stand-up back. He was hiring code talkers. Do you see the difference?
Starting point is 00:25:05 Yes. It's a very big difference in a stand-up back. What's offensive is that he politicized this event. I started by saying that. But there was nothing about calling her Pocahontas, which any reasonable person could take to mean this guy has some disparaging Native Americans. And just because somebody can misunderstand him doesn't mean he has to not say it. But did Trump have reason to believe
Starting point is 00:25:28 that that would be considered offensive, yes or no? I don't know. But if he did, would that have been rude? Here's the thing. If he had reason to believe that they would be offended by that. No, I do not believe that people have to... It's rude because... First of all...
Starting point is 00:25:39 But I don't think people need to shut down just because somebody might get offended. A comedian is held to a different standard for what is funny than a president is. I don't like the veto of one person out of 100 can get offended and now somebody can't say it. But the second thing is, the more important thing, a comedian can make whatever jokes he or she wants on a stage. But he or she is held accountable for that joke. Meaning, if you make a joke about AIDS or cancer.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Trump is accountable. can be a politician. Hold on, let me finish. If you make a joke about AIDS or cancer or race or whatever, if that joke is not funny, then you get held accountable for that. That's just how it is, fair or unfair. So if you're a white guy making a joke about black people, or brown people or Arabs or whatever,
Starting point is 00:26:26 and the joke is not taken well by the audience, then you get blasted for that. And that's how it is. Deservedly so. He didn't make a joke about Indian people. He made a joke teasing someone who's pretending to be. It's exactly what I But listen, I think it's Andrew Cuomo,
Starting point is 00:26:41 the lovely governor of New York, said, I remember in 2000, he said, Barack Obama is shucking and jiving. He did? He said that. You can Google it. And, you know, it's Andrew Cuomo, so it's okay. Well, let me ask you this question, Noah. I mean, it's coming out now.
Starting point is 00:26:55 You're with a group of black people. It sometimes happens because you have no choice. They work here. And you want to use the word niggardly. Now, this is a legitimate word in the English language that has a certain meaning. But you have reason to believe. It means stingy. You have reason to believe that saying that in front of a group of black people would be offensive to them.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Yeah. Do you use the word, even though it's a perfectly legitimate English word, it means stingy? I'm going to answer you. I'll tell you the answer. First of all, I wouldn't. I would tell you why. Because I understand why it's a perfectly legitimate English word, it means stingy. I'll tell you the answer. First of all, I wouldn't. I would tell you why. Because I understand why it's jarring. Somebody can explain to me, a black person can say, listen, I know it sounds like, but
Starting point is 00:27:34 when I hear the sound nigger come out of somebody's mouth, it revolts me. And I say, oh, yeah, I can, now you've explained it to me. I understand it, so I won't use it. But when somebody wants to change the name of a college dormitory because the guy who founded its name happened to be Lynch, I'm like, no. I don't give a shit if you're offended by the name Lynch. It's not the same word. And that's his fucking last name.
Starting point is 00:27:59 And, you know, that happened. It did? Yeah. Who was offended by the word named Lynch? The students demanded that the Lynch dorm change their name from Lynch. Where is it? You can Google it. I don't Yeah. Who was offended by the word named Lynch? The students demanded that the Lynch dorm change their name from Lynch. Where is it? You can Google. I don't remember where it was. But it happened, and these things happen all the time.
Starting point is 00:28:12 And it doesn't get a pass. Somebody can explain. But this is not even that. People ask me this question all the time. If a Native American would have to say, this is why this bothers me. And I'd be like, and I know the answer. I know why it bothers him. Because it's Trump.
Starting point is 00:28:27 That's going to be, in the end, let's be honest, that's what it is. If somebody else said it, it would be okay. I want to say again, he should not have said it for other reasons. It was rude. It's egotistical. It's boorish. All those things. Mike, I knew if somebody else had said it, it would have been worse.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Because Trump, we give a little latitude to because we know he's a clown. Imagine if Clinton said, well, Pocahontas over there. I think that's the greatest impression in the world. Listen, I see your point because people are asking me all the time what I think of the, should the baker
Starting point is 00:28:59 be forced to make the cake for the gay weddings. That's going to the Supreme Court. Is that something that is a big topic of discussion for someone like you? Among my people. That's not what I meant. When we are huddled
Starting point is 00:29:15 in our bathhouses at the monthly meeting when we're stacked up. I disagree with my friends about this. You do? That's interesting. They think adamantly that he should be forced absolutely to make the cake. I am of the opinion that while there should be anti-discrimination laws on the books,
Starting point is 00:29:40 and he is technically violating them, if it had been me, I would have gone to another baker, and I'll tell you why. Because to make it, you know how people always say, don't make it a federal case? By making it a federal case, they have given the religious right all of this ammunition. It's like, see? We can't even practice our religion.
Starting point is 00:29:59 I don't want to give those people any you know, I don't want to turn them into a martyr at all. Why is selling a gay married couple a cake infringing on someone else's ability to prize a really? It's not at all. It's bullshit. The guy's full of shit, and the Taliban-gelical hate group who is defending him is also full of shit. Okay, wait a second. I think you might be right.
Starting point is 00:30:30 What I'm saying is, the reason I brought this up is, a lot of people need to just sort of lighten up and let it go. And I see what you're saying. You are saying that why are we all of a sudden jumping on this as racism and this. You have always had this up your ass. In many cases, justifiably so. I'll take that as a compliment. Go ahead. You're a free speech absolutist. Wouldn't you say
Starting point is 00:30:58 that? Yes. Okay. And I will give you that. The modern day Lenny Bruce. I don't believe somebody should be racist. But you're like Voltaire. You know what that quote is? Defend your life. I respect. Defend with my life your right to say.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Here's something Voltaire said. I vehemently disagree. Do it with a French accent. I vehemently disagree with what you said, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. Wow, that was very good. That was Jean-Baptiste Poqueland de Voltaire. I was at a play of his.
Starting point is 00:31:30 I think that actually was not an actual Voltaire quote, but it's attributed to him. Okay, whatever, go ahead. That's like a sidetrack, go ahead. Don't get sucked into the Naliman vortex. Great French accent. Someone else said it. No, but you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:31:45 It's like, I see what you're saying, but it's, with Trump calling Warren Pocahontas in front of the Native Americans, I don't jump on the bandwagon with people who said it was racist. No, I don't.
Starting point is 00:31:59 It was just rude, which is not the same thing. It was just rude and tasteless and tacky, and he's a motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, I agree. He's a shit stain. I stipulated that. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:32:07 I stipulated to all that in the beginning. And by the way, your listeners can follow me on at ComicJimDavid on Twitter and at SoapOnDeb on Twitter. They can follow us. I always love new followers. You wanted to say something? Yes, but I forgot what it was. I lost my train of thought. So it's not important.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Well, you know what I mean. The gay birthday cake. Well, no, but I mean, it was. I lost my train of thought. So it's not important. Well, you know what I mean. The gay birthday cake. Well, no, but I mean, that is an instance where... Let me see what I think about the birthday cake. Dan, you want to say something about the gay birthday cake? I'm just checking my Bitcoin price. The birthday cake. Do you have Bitcoin?
Starting point is 00:32:36 I don't. I do not have Bitcoin, no. Every Uber driver I've spoken to is into Bitcoin. I don't know if it's... What is that about? I'm not sure, but they all seem to be into the whole cryptocurrency thing. Really?
Starting point is 00:32:46 Anyway. Wow. I don't know why that is. But in any case, your question was about the gay birthday cake? Yeah. Well, the reason I brought that up
Starting point is 00:32:58 Yeah, go ahead. is just because It was a wild day. I think there's a parallel to what I think about that to what Noam thinks about this because I think, while yes, he should I think about that to what Noam thinks about this. Because I think, while yes, he should have to make it, on the other hand, I, as a customer, would have gone somewhere else just to not make it a public thing and to give the other side immunity.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Can I ask a question? And this is the reporter in the coming episode. There have been some people that have said that Donald Trump is the most gay-friendly president in history. Oh, that's absolutely nonsense. I'm just curious what you think of that. Oh, that's absolute bullshit. Because he got elected partly because of the religious right. And just like everybody in his cabinet is a member of the religious right. Not everybody in his cabinet is a member of the religious right. And he, just like everybody in his cabinet, is a member of the religious right. They are not. Huh?
Starting point is 00:33:48 Not everybody in his cabinet is a member of the religious right. Most of them. Not the military guys. Most of them, like Betsy DeVos, Rick Perry, Jeff Sessions, etc., etc. Right. He has had the Family Research Council and all of those Taliban-gelicals into his office, and they have advised him. He has a bunch of fringe, what we would call
Starting point is 00:34:09 fringe religious right leaders as his advisors, because he's a very pragmatic guy, and he knows that that gets his votes. And those people are interested in, like, I got married five years ago, and they're interested in destroying my marriage. If I may follow up on that, do you feel
Starting point is 00:34:26 like when he got elected that that was a step back for you personally as a gay man? I was afraid that it would be. It hasn't been yet. It won't be. So why do you think, I guess my question... From your mouth to God's ears.
Starting point is 00:34:40 I'm going to tell you why it won't be. Is there a potential... Because my experience in the campaign... Oh. Is there a potential? Hold on. Is there a... Because my experience in the campaign... Oh, there's a potential, yeah. There's no potential. My experience in the campaign trail is that this is just something that Donald Trump did not talk a lot about. He avoided talking about it at all corners.
Starting point is 00:34:57 He didn't like talking about gay marriage. He didn't like talking about abortion. He didn't like talking about social issues. Which, hold on, which as a Republican stuck out to me as, oh, maybe. SOPAN, you're a newspaper reporter, right? I'm sorry? You understand civics, right? I'm sorry, say that again?
Starting point is 00:35:12 You're a newspaper reporter. You understand civics. What does the president have to do with gay marriage? He can appoint a Supreme Court justice that will overturn it. I mean, there's that. There's that. That's what his supporters want. Hold on. I'm asking him.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Is there anything else other than that? Well, sure. There is... There is... No, there is not. There is Don't Ask, Don't Tell. No, there is not. There is the Defense of Marriage Act.
Starting point is 00:35:35 I said gay marriage. You can't have a... Dude, you're a newspaper reporter. There's no Defense of Marriage Act if the Supreme Court has said that gay marriage cannot be abridged. Can I answer your question? He can set a tone.
Starting point is 00:35:45 He can speak in such a way as to set a tone. He asked Jim whether he thought they were going to roll back gay marriage. There's no chance. Don't forget. There is a chance. Hold on. Let me ask you another question. Who argued in favor of gay marriage at the Supreme Court?
Starting point is 00:36:02 A right-wing attorney. Oberfeld? What do you mean? Ted Olson. Are you uninformed? Ted Olson. No, that wasn't about gay marriage. That's true. Ted Olson wasn't George Bush. That's true, but...
Starting point is 00:36:16 As far as I understand it, as opposed to Roe versus Wade, there is absolutely no... Now, of course, there's a potential. There's absolutely no energy in the right wing community to have a court to overturn gay marriage. You are completely wrong.
Starting point is 00:36:34 Maybe the religious right wing, because the right wing was part of the movement that approved gay marriage, and Justice Roberts, who dissented, he dissented very, very meekly. Very meekly.
Starting point is 00:36:53 And if anybody knows Justice Roberts, he doesn't believe in easily overturning opinions. Precedence? Precedence? So it's very, very unlikely, if it were to ever come again, which is very, very unlikely on top of that, that Justice Roberts would be involved in overturning it. Well, see, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:37:10 Here's where I think you're wrong. Although there is a potential, there is always a potential in any, I guess, any Republican thing, it is so far, it is so unlikely that there's going to be any movement to overturn gay marriage. Well, see, I follow this a lot more than you do.
Starting point is 00:37:26 And it's shocking to me that you didn't know off the top of your head that the president has nothing to do with gay marriage. No. But he was in court. You know that the previous president was also against gay marriage. Until he was for it. Until he was for it. And Bill Clinton signed the Defense of Marriage Act.
Starting point is 00:37:42 He did indeed. So come on now. I mean, it's like crediting the president with ending segregation. It was Earl Warren's court that ended segregation. It doesn't do anything. What does that do with Eisenhower? Eisenhower didn't get credit for it. Let me just apologize to
Starting point is 00:37:55 So Pan on behalf of my esteemed co-host. Don't apologize for me, Dan. You're really going to piss me off. Calling into question your credentials as a journalist. He did not call. I didn't. I didn't call.
Starting point is 00:38:08 I didn't send your credentials. I'm just saying, you know, come on now. Donald Trump during the campaign said he would appoint justices that would overturn the gay marriage decision. I don't think he said that. I don't remember. No, he said it. Did he? That's not a matter of opinion.
Starting point is 00:38:20 That's a matter of fact. Okay, fair enough. I don't remember that. And I'm happy to, during commercial break, I'm still going to look it up now. Go ahead. That's the religious. Hold ahead. That's something he said to Joe Scarborough during an interview.
Starting point is 00:38:29 That's not a matter of fact. Did he ever go back to it or was it just one of his one-offs? It doesn't matter whether it's a one-off. He's the president of the United States. I didn't say whether it mattered or not. I'm asking you.
Starting point is 00:38:36 That's the first thing. I'm asking you because at the convention, he said quite the opposite. Another time, asked by Jake Tapper, he was asked what he thought he was doing.
Starting point is 00:38:44 He said, I'm more of a traditional marriage kind of guy. So you factor, you put those things together. It doesn't matter. You know what I mean? So those two things together matter as far as what a president can do in terms of. No, they don't matter. That's the thing. That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:39:00 This is ridiculous. Go ahead. His Department of Justice under Jeff Sessions, you know, rescinding President Obama's executive actions about Jeff Sessions and transgenders and bathrooms. Those are three things I can think of
Starting point is 00:39:16 off the top of my head. It's not gay marriage. But this is not just about gay marriage. The Justice Department also put in a brief. They put in the brief. Right. This is not just about gay marriage. The Justice Department also put in a brief. Transgenders are not gay, are they? They put in the brief. Right. This is not just about gay marriage.
Starting point is 00:39:31 This is about LGBTQ friendliness. That's the first thing I would say. Yes, President Obama was previously against gay marriage, and he was for it. He's the first president, again, he's the first president in the history of the United States that was the sitting president that, again, he's the first president in the history of the United States that was the sitting president that came out for gay marriage. In terms
Starting point is 00:39:50 of Donald Trump, this is the larger point I'm trying to make here, that he was never being particularly passionate about gay marriage. He was never for or against. He doesn't care. He wants the supporters who care. He is on record during the campaign saying that he was against it.
Starting point is 00:40:07 And I'm sorry. That does matter. That's how it is. But aside from that, he picked a vice president that was considered by LGBTQ allies to be against, you know, to be not exactly the most gay-friendly vice president. He's an anti-gay zealot. He's not just against it. Mike Pence. Yeah, absolutely. He's an anti-gay zealot. But beyond that, it's not like Donald
Starting point is 00:40:34 Trump has done a lot of things that have made gays in this country feel particularly at home here in this country. Nothing has happened, But to answer your question, no. This is so typical. It's such a typical tactic to talk about one thing
Starting point is 00:40:50 to zoom out to the entire universe which you're saying things I agree with but they don't bear on whether or not I think he could overturn gay marriage or not. It is the goal of... He literally said that. It's not like he said... I'm reading in Snopes. I don't want to read the whole thing,
Starting point is 00:41:05 it says, did Donald Trump, the question, did Donald Trump, the claim Donald Trump said he'd overturned gay marriage and they rate it as mixed. They don't give it a true. Somebody else can read the whole article but they do not give it a true.
Starting point is 00:41:21 I rate Noam's children as mixed as well. I'm not going to read the whole article but apparently there's nuance to that. Well, see, the thing is that he is, there's never been a president who has embraced the religious right like he has. By the way, I would actually agree. Reagan did.
Starting point is 00:41:38 I would actually agree. I would actually agree that it's mixed because in another interview when he was asked about the decree, he said, well, it's the law of the land. That's how we have to do it. That's the thing. What I'm saying is, the reason I mentioned this at the beginning of the video is my point was that he's not Ted Cruz or Mike Huckabee when it comes to this.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Do you know what I mean? He's never been that comfortable in this realm. What I'm saying is that— Can I tell you what the likely thing is? Please. This is where Jim, I think, may have a point. Just like abortion, thing is? Please. And this is where Jim, I think, may have a point. Just like abortion, which,
Starting point is 00:42:10 you know, it's just amazing it's never been overturned in the world versus the way it is. I don't think it ever will be. Gay marriage, much, much less likely because as opposed to abortion, the country seems to have really embraced gay marriage. Big time. Big time. So, that matters. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:25 The courts don't usually turn around when they're totally out of step with the country. Unless they're a nut. Hold on, hold on. But just like an abortion, what they did is they tried to chip away at the edges of it. So, for instance, like this birthday cake thing. Cake shop, yeah. Masterpiece. You might see a court which then created an exception for
Starting point is 00:42:48 the gay marriage birthday cake thing. Things which I could see being offensive, but without ever getting to the big thing. The problem with this case is that if the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the baker, and tell me if you agree with this, it would create a
Starting point is 00:43:04 right to discriminate across the board. Like somebody... Why? I could go with my husband to a Motel 6 to stay there, and if the owner was some religious right person, they could say, I'm sorry, we don't let gay couples stay here. They would never let that. But that's literally what could happen.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Why wouldn't that happen? No, it could happen. No, I'm asking, why would that happen? Because I think that there are just certain things, and public accommodations is one of them and has a long history of being one of them. Why isn't a bakery a public accommodation? Well, it's not a public accommodation.
Starting point is 00:43:46 It's a business. But hotels and things like restaurants, these were a major part of the civil rights cause back in the 50s. A victory for the religious right in this case would overturn all of that. And on that note, I have to leave. There is a potential.
Starting point is 00:44:01 I have to leave because I have to go next door to your club and do a comedy show. The country would freak out. Well, you said, by the way, you made the point that the country has embraced... So good to see you. Do you have to go right now? Because I just wanted to... Do you really think the country's embraced gay marriage? The whole country?
Starting point is 00:44:18 Or just the people we happen to see? Not the whole... Well, not the whole country, but... But many people you wouldn't have expected to. Certainly everybody in my life and everybody in my parents' Christian retirement community. Is that right? My parents live in a Christian retirement community in
Starting point is 00:44:34 North Carolina, and I took my husband down there just last week for Thanksgiving and we spoke to all of them. This is my husband, this is my... How nice to meet you. But they all voted for Trump. But that's my point. And they're like, oh, well, how nice to meet you. Jim. But they all voted for Trump. Right. But that's my point.
Starting point is 00:44:47 That this is not, as opposed to abortion, which people really are against it and continue to be against it. I know. The gay marriage thing, I think it's in the rearview mirror. I don't want to be guilty of wishful thinking or being naive about it, but that's really the way I feel. That it's just in the rearview mirror of the country. But no. But the thing is, is that it is in the rearview mirror of you, a New York comedy club owner. You just described the Southern religious Christian. Yeah, but still, those people are nice to me, but they'd still vote against me.
Starting point is 00:45:18 And you can't undo. I mean, there's a lot of options. You can't undo marriages, you know? You can't do that. I mean, my marriage would not be in trouble, but the future of... No, it's... My marriage is already in trouble. Is it, Jim?
Starting point is 00:45:31 That's another offer. I hate to hear that because I'm very fond of Dan. No, no, no. We will be together 30 years next year. He's so handsome. You put a picture on Facebook the other day. Well, can I just tell you that? We're together 30 years in March.
Starting point is 00:45:44 That's kind of like, are you kidding me? Like 26 of those were illegal. Huh? How long have you been married? Three years? We've been married five years, but we've been together since 1988. Where did you get married five years ago? In New York.
Starting point is 00:45:57 It was legal five years already in New York? Yeah. Oh, wow. We got married. That was before it was national. And we got married at the Metropolitan Club, which was the former Gotham Comedy Club. Oh, yeah. We had six of our friends from Broadway, including Mr. Rick Crome, sing at our weddings.
Starting point is 00:46:13 Nice. Rick sang. Look at all the energy that goes into Right to Life stuff. I mean, it's organizations and raising money. I don't see any of this for gay marriage. Before I go completely, how much did you love the documentary about Rick? Oh, it's fantastic. I haven't watched it yet is it
Starting point is 00:46:29 is it worth watching I enjoyed it but partially I enjoyed it because it does a lot about the history of the comedy cell yeah exactly it won the people's choice award
Starting point is 00:46:36 out of a hundred and eleven documentaries at that fucking festival you know what I really want to see it and I I got to open for Rick once and I was so
Starting point is 00:46:44 thrilled by it because I was like oh this Rick once. I was so thrilled by it. I was thrilled with the way we all came across. Where can I watch this thing? Is it on Netflix or anything? Not yet. I hope that all of the listeners of this radio show
Starting point is 00:46:58 get to see this documentary called Oh Rick. I've got to go do my spot at the Village Underground. The world famous Village Underground Underground, the world-famous Village Underground at the world-famous Comedy Cellar in New York City. Thank you for having me.
Starting point is 00:47:09 I think he's going to be late for his spot. You know, just can we briefly talk about... Good to see you, my friend. Now, so, Pan, you did mention... I love that name. You're also a stand-up comic. Yeah. How much do your politics and your work...
Starting point is 00:47:24 Zero. So it has nothing to do with... I will tell you why. For two reasons. First of all, I have this day job in which I'm a New York Times reporter. So I can't... Nor would I want to. I can't talk about politics that much.
Starting point is 00:47:40 At least not in an unobjective way. The second of which is that... You don't have to be objective as a stand-up comedian. Right, but I have to be objective as a New York Times reporter. Oh, I got you. Okay. Okay, the second thing is not everyone does politics for the same reason as Jimmy Fallon has displayed. And the reason I do comedy is not because I'm interested in talking about politics.
Starting point is 00:48:01 I mean, you guys have all seen the Village Underground open mics or the Climat open mics or the, you know, the Bringer shows and whatnot. We don't have open mics or Bringer shows, just for the record. But go ahead. Right. Fair. Fair. My point is, like, I don't do comedy for the same reason.
Starting point is 00:48:17 I like to talk about race issues, and I like to talk about who I am. That's political. Now we're talking. Now we are talking. Yeah, right. And so for me, I, you know, I lived. Noam loves racial. Now we are talking. Yeah, right. And so for me, I lived... Noam loves racial issues. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:28 His favorite topic. For two years, I covered the Trump campaign for 24-7 for two years, a year and a half, two years. That was my life.
Starting point is 00:48:37 And the last thing I want to do is joke about that stuff. So you talk about racial issues. What about them? Now you're a person of color. You're an Indian extraction. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:48:44 So here's a joke I will tell. You want to give us one of your bits? This is not a bit. This is a true story that happened, is that when I was covering Trump, literally a Trump supporter came up to me and asked me if I was, I was taking pictures of the long line
Starting point is 00:48:57 outside of a rally in Reno, and a Trump supporter came up to me in front of a number of Trump supporters and asked me if I was shooting photographs on behalf of ISIS. Okay, well that was very offensive to me, of course,
Starting point is 00:49:11 as it should be, but also amazing comedy. That's less about the politics of Trump and more of like, this is a real thing that happened to me. And that is something I talk about in my comedy. Was he making fun of you or was it a serious question? Who cares? I hate that answer.
Starting point is 00:49:27 I want to understand. But it didn't seem like he was joking when he asked me. But if he was joking, I didn't care. It's not something, even if you are joking, you ask someone that's a stranger that you don't know anything about. No, I'll tell you why. If he's making fun of you, then that's a particular
Starting point is 00:49:43 kind of rudeness if he's serious he's like a crazy person I'm just curious what it was I don't know imagine you thought about it at first I was like
Starting point is 00:49:52 now if he was like no no I'm just kidding with you but no he kept asking he kept repeatedly asking and just to be clear you weren't taking pictures for ISIS well I mean
Starting point is 00:50:01 he caught me is the thing you know that's what bothered me the most about it. And then at another Trump rally, somebody asked me, interrupted an interview I was doing and flipped me off and said, why don't you go back to Iraq where you came from? A, I'm not Iraqi.
Starting point is 00:50:17 B, I've never been to Iraq. C, I'm Indian. D, I've never even been to India. You know what I mean? I was born outside of Boston. I brought up here in the US. I've never even been to India. You know what I mean? Like, I was born outside of Boston. I brought up here in the U.S. I've never even... Do you believe... Listen, obviously that's offensive and reprehensible. Do you believe that
Starting point is 00:50:31 there's a home for racists and bigots on the left as well? Yeah, sure. I think that's right. Is it clear that there is? I don't think... Were you aware of the Dyke March or the Women's March, whatever they called it? Did they call it? I don't want to use the word Dyke. I think they called it the Dyke March.
Starting point is 00:50:47 I believe they did. Where they wouldn't let anybody march with a Jewish star? I was not aware of that. Dude, how could you not be aware of this stuff? The point is, your comedy focuses a lot on you. Myself and who I am as a person. Less about politics. But also on your experience as a person of color. Yes. I think that's right.
Starting point is 00:51:11 And in particular, people thinking that you're a Muslim. Well, I'm not Muslim. I'm Hindu. I understand that. But people perceive you that way. Some people perceive me that way. But very limited. You look just like my wife's brother. My wife's Indian.
Starting point is 00:51:24 And she got held up at the airport for like a half an hour and they're asking her questions because her last name was Bihari before we got married and Bihari can apparently be a Muslim or a Hindu name. And so, yeah,
Starting point is 00:51:36 my kids are quarter Indian so I'm not, you know, making fun of the fact they're Indian. I just try to understand things. I never look at it that way. I more look at it as like, I do humor that's authentic to who I am.
Starting point is 00:51:50 And whether that's talking about race issues I dealt with covering the campaign or just like an everyday thing. I don't know. As long as it's authentic to who I am. I don't talk that much about politics. Not because I'm afraid to talk about it, but it's just, you know, I think about politics all the time and I don't talk that much about politics, not because I'm afraid to talk about it, but it's just, you know, I
Starting point is 00:52:05 think about politics all the time, and I don't want to... I want my comedy to be a break from that, if that makes sense. You know what I mean? In a way that Trevor Noah, you know, Seth Meyers, those guys don't have that option. You know, they have to talk about politics. And
Starting point is 00:52:21 for me, I don't... For me, comedy's almost a form of therapy, and I don't... I want to talk about what I want to talk about. Can you just, comedy is almost a form of therapy. I want to talk about what I want to talk about. Can you just give us a little glimpse into what things about you that you consider to be particularly interesting? Sure. Absolutely. For the thing I was saying, one thing, because my parents got arranged to get married in India
Starting point is 00:52:39 and they had a horrible marriage, and I rejected everything that was brown about me. So I grew up in a kind of always, even though I was brought up by Indian parents, I always kind of like pretended I was white. And that's something that figures in a lot in my comedy. Second part of that is that I've only,
Starting point is 00:52:57 I've mostly dated white people in my life. And, you know, I joke. White women, I'm assuming. Yes. Heterosexual. Right. One of the jokes I make is that like, you know, I've mostly dated white women in my life. White women, I'm assuming. Yes. Heterosexual. One of the jokes I make is that I've mostly dated white women in my life, and it's not because I'm racist, it's because I know what it takes to get ahead. I want a mixed baby,
Starting point is 00:53:14 and the baby is... And I want a baby that's brown enough to get financial aid to college, but white enough to get promoted in the job after. And it's not because... This is a joke. Yeah. Because it makes sense to me. Yeah, right. Makes sense to my kids. And it's not because... This is a joke. Yeah, this is a joke. Because it makes sense to me. Yeah, right. It makes sense to my kids.
Starting point is 00:53:28 And I'm not telling those jokes because, like, do I actually think that, like, have I been, like, restricted because of my race? No, I, you know, sometimes maybe, but not,
Starting point is 00:53:37 or it's more because I think it's a fucking funny joke. You know what I mean? Like, that's what I think about. So, but my experience on this planet of Earth is more about, this is my personal experience, more than it is about, there are comedians that I see that are like,
Starting point is 00:53:56 okay, they want to talk about peanuts on an airplane. They want to go follow Jerry Seinfeld. I love peanuts on airplane jokes. Yeah. Follow the Jerry Seinfeld route. And that's not me. But they're also the Jon Stewart, Trevor Noah school. I want Jerry Seinfeld route. And that's not me. But they're also the Jon Stewart, Trevor Noah school. I want to talk about the current event.
Starting point is 00:54:09 That's not me. Which is why I find it fascinating that Jimmy Fallon has taken such a drop in ratings. Because he's not political. Even though he's never been a political comic. And it would be inauthentic for him to be political. People are... This is a... Unprecedented. And it would be inauthentic for him to be political. People are, this is a, I've never seen the country like this in terms of the hunger for politics.
Starting point is 00:54:31 You're right. And it also is interesting because Colbert was such a virtuoso on the Colbert Report. Yeah, right. And then he was kind of a fish out of water trying to do this. That first year, yeah. Because he was trying to be like Jimmy Fallon. But then God intervened on his behalf
Starting point is 00:54:47 and made Trump president and now he's able to be the talent that he is and he's an amazing talent at that
Starting point is 00:54:53 you've seen approximately a million comics here at the Comedy Cellar audiences you and you
Starting point is 00:54:59 you guys you guys sniff out inauthenticity whatever the word is you guys sent out youauthenticity. Whatever the word is. You guys sent out. Disingenuity is the word I'm looking for. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:55:10 You guys sniffed that out in a second. And that was Colbert in his first year. I've got to be honest with you. I think you're giving us too much credit for sniffing out inauthenticity. Really? And even if we do think somebody's inauthentic, we don't care. Because the rule here at the Cellar is if the audience is howling, you get booked. But if the audience is not
Starting point is 00:55:27 howling... Well, hold on. Let me rephrase that. But audiences can sniff out inauthenticity. Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong. I think you are wrong. I see a lot of inauthenticity. I don't. I agree with you. Really? If someone goes on stage trying to be Jerry Seinfeld, unless they're actually
Starting point is 00:55:43 legitimately interested in observational humor, they're not going to get laughs. And I have tried to be in my heart. Early on, I was like, I'm going to tell a joke about, oh, can you believe the iPhone chargers? And the audience has to laugh because that's not who I am. But when I talk about myself, they laugh.
Starting point is 00:56:00 I do see a lot of comics that pretend to be the angry guy. Yeah, right. And I'm not buying the anger, but the audience is buying the anger. Sometimes. Really? Sometimes.
Starting point is 00:56:10 I know what you're talking about sometimes. That's a school of thought. That's a school of comedy that I've seen on a couple of occasions. Is it possible that you're buying the anger, but not buying whether the joke is any good or not? I'm not buying the anger. I'm not buying the anger. In many, many cases. If a politician is clearly inauthentic,
Starting point is 00:56:28 is it okay to belittle them? Ask that again? If a politician is clearly inauthentic, is it okay to put them down for it? I think that for a comic... You know, faking. A politician, though. I mean, aren't all politicians inauthentic on some level?
Starting point is 00:56:44 Who's the most genuine, authentic politician that you can tell me? Obama is very authentic. A lot of them were authentic. Bush. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If you think that any politician is wholly authentic, that's it. No human is wholly authentic.
Starting point is 00:57:00 And I'm saying in general. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Any politician that is out there, they are trying to maybe that's a cynicism in me from covering politics, but the truth is every single politician out there is on some level
Starting point is 00:57:14 not authentic. If you can catch them being inauthentic, is it okay to point it out? Sure. That's what Trump did with Elizabeth Warren. That's a different set of issues. No one disagrees with him pointing out the inauthenticity. You saw that coming around.
Starting point is 00:57:31 I didn't see that. You didn't see it coming around. Some may feel he did it in a way that was offensive. It was rude. I do want to just get back to you dating white chicks. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:57:42 I actually wrote a piece about this for The Times. The reason I have predominantly dated white women, and there's no real reason this happened. I've also dated minorities. It is early on, you know, when I was in my early 20s, I
Starting point is 00:57:54 rejected my culture. I did. It's true. You should talk about that on stage because that's interesting. I do. That's why I do comedy because I like talking about this stuff because it's a form of therapy for me. Because I looked at my parents. When we reject your culture, it's a problem,
Starting point is 00:58:10 but you do it if you get a pass. Because I looked at my parents who were Hindu and got arranged to get married and they had a bad marriage, and I said, oh, I don't want that. But I looked at my Catholic friends and my Christian friends and my Protestant friends and my Methodist friends, and I said, oh, they don't seem to have those issues. Well, is that
Starting point is 00:58:28 why you rejected your heritage? Because your parents had a bad marriage? Yes. Because there are a lot of bad marriages out there. How many bad marriages are because of arranged marriages? Not many. Because I will tell you this, this is a truth. Arranged marriages typically don't,
Starting point is 00:58:43 so when an arranged marriage does not go well, that's a rarity. Because in my culture, in Indian culture, when you get arranged to get married, it's more of a transactional arrangement than a marriage out of love. And it usually works out? Yes. That's shocking. Yeah, it's true. So they're happy? So my mom and dad
Starting point is 00:59:07 were an aberration of sorts. But when you're the kid of that aberration, you're like, oh, God, that's not what I want. There was nothing else going? Did you grow up in a majority white town? Yes, 90% white. Well, that would do it, too. Yeah, totally. Absolutely. 100%.
Starting point is 00:59:23 And part of the issue was that I grew up around mostly white people. And I'm looking around at my best friends, and their parents are happily married. And so my brother, who's 10 years older than me, he got married to a Catholic. He had a Catholic ceremony. And my parents, my mom in particular, was not very happy about that marriage because it wasn't an Indian marriage. And I was like why? How dare you? How dare you
Starting point is 00:59:52 pass judgment on another marriage when you were you know, when you were a failure of your own marriage. And so my initial reaction was like well, that's why I'm going to reject my own culture. And that's what I talk a lot about. That's why I do comedy.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Okay, you talked about being pushed away from Indian women. What about being pulled toward white women? The reason I feel like I have mostly dated... Could you imagine if Trump had said that? But go ahead. Well, you know, if he becomes president... A beautiful Indian woman can be absolutely dazzling. For the early part of my 20s,
Starting point is 01:00:26 I very much rejected a lot of cultures and I was like, okay, you know. Which ones did you reject? I didn't reject. Reject is not the right word. I just was like,
Starting point is 01:00:37 I don't want to date someone Indian because look at what my Indian upbringing has got me. It got me Indian divorcee parents. It got me a lot of, you know, not to get too angsty here, but that's just how it is. I was like, oh, man, I was like alone growing up.
Starting point is 01:00:54 My parents got divorced. I would date anyone who's not Indian. That's how it is. And now that I'm older, I'm like, okay, okay, now ease up on that. You know, it's just a maturity thing, I think. I'm going to India this summer for the first time in my life. I've never visited in my life. My dad lives there.
Starting point is 01:01:11 I'm going to visit him. I want to go there, too. Come with me. A friend of mine is getting married there, and that's what precipitated the trip. Indian weddings are awesome, right? On the elephants and everything? They're fun. They're fun.
Starting point is 01:01:22 I've only been to one. I didn't have an elephant. A lot of them do, though. They really have elephants, right? Some of them do They're fun. I've only been to one. Didn't have an elephant, but... A lot of them do, though. They really have elephants, right? Some of them do, yeah. Some have horses. It just depends. By the way, Bitcoin is now at...
Starting point is 01:01:31 It's been a very rough, very volatile day with Bitcoin. Very angst-ridden day for me. You have one coin. I know, but one coin. But given my net worth, that one coin is more meaningful than it would be for you. You should not have bought a Bitcoin. But it was up to $11,500 earlier. Now it's at $10,298.
Starting point is 01:01:51 But you bought it at five? I bought it at seven. At seven. I bought it at seven. So I'm up over three grand. Sell, Dan. Sell. What's the fun in that?
Starting point is 01:01:59 Oh, well, the fun is you don't have to sweat your net worth. Yeah, but it's not going to kill me if I lose it, but it's enough to make me nervous. But it's also invigorating. I find it very exciting. I just like the idea that I'm kind of in on something. It's kind of exciting. Everybody's talking about it. I mean, in the general news, I read a lot about it online.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Are you hearing about Bitcoin? Yeah, yeah. It's in my feed all the time, and I think about you all the time. So it's just something that I feel like I'm involved in that's kind of exciting. I missed out on everything else. The internet, when it came out, I was like, I didn't get the internet until like 2002. I didn't get email until like late. So I figured, well, maybe I'm in on something.
Starting point is 01:02:37 If it ever becomes something, I'm one of the relatively early adopters. You were one of the relatively early adopters of the internet. No, no, relatively early adopters of Bitcoin compared to... Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's my fault. That's my fault. Only 1% of people right now own any Bitcoin, approximately.
Starting point is 01:02:52 You mean Bitcoin's on the way up, is my point. I don't know if it is or it isn't, but I want to be there if it goes up. Yeah, right. And if it doesn't go up, I'm going to lie to you and tell you I pulled out anyway before the crash. Right. Because I don't want to be humiliated. Soapin.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Yeah. Do you hear any gossip at the time? Did you know about the Louis story before it came out? No, I did not. What do you think? Was that an honest answer? He's not in the comedy. Why would somebody have to wait 10 seconds
Starting point is 01:03:16 before they could figure out the answer? I had heard the same rumors that everyone else did. Did you hear the rumor that Louis had blocked the door? No. What rumor did you hear? That was the rumor in Gawker. I mean, look, the whispers about Louis had been going around for a while. I'd heard the same rumors that everyone else did.
Starting point is 01:03:36 You heard them from comedians or you read them? I read them. So when you read them, it said that the girls accused him of blocking the door. When I read the New York Times story story which was written by a very valued colleague of mine. Oh my god, I would love to have her on the show. I'll give you her email address. Would you really? I would love to hear the back story. It's awesome. But I did not
Starting point is 01:03:55 honestly, I mean, the Gawker story from years ago was I just never revisited it. You know what I mean? Not because I was avoiding it in any way. I didn't remember the revisited it. You know what I mean? Not because I was avoiding it in any way. It's just not. I didn't remember the specifics of it.
Starting point is 01:04:10 But yes, I heard rumors. There's nothing substantive that... I would really like to speak to one of those reports. First of all, it's the perfect show for it. Second of all, I have so many questions about that story. Sure. It was insufficiently detailed, I feel. And I'd like to find out.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Well, they got the details, I guess, that were available. No, no, no, no. What details do you want to know specifically? Well, for instance, they, obviously, they spoke. Well, I don't know, obviously. I presume they spoke to these women. Sure, I think a couple of them are on the record.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Yeah, so, there was all kinds of questions that I would wonder about, like, did they feel threatened? Did they, uh,
Starting point is 01:04:58 uh, well, I mean, I think that's spoken to in the piece, right? I mean, no, no,
Starting point is 01:05:01 like in the two, in the, in the women that were in, in, uh, was it in Aspen? Aspen, yeah. Yeah, and two, in the women that were in, was it in Aspen? Aspen, yeah. Yeah, and he asked
Starting point is 01:05:08 if he could do it and they left and he did it anyway. It's not really clear what happened, why they didn't leave. There's a lot of, I mean, maybe...
Starting point is 01:05:20 It's a power dynamic issue, right? What? I mean, it's a power dynamic issue, right? I mean, you're in the room of one of the most famous comedians in the world. He wasn't famous at that time. And even if he was, a famous man has a right to get laid like everybody else. But he wasn't famous at that time.
Starting point is 01:05:35 He was not. But if he were, famous people can get laid. Yeah, I know if he were. But to answer your point, he wasn't. He wasn't. He was respected enough, but wasn't famous. Sure. I mean, I... Which is part of why... Here, exactly what you're doing now is like, He was respected enough, but wasn't famous. Sure.
Starting point is 01:05:46 Which is part of why exactly what you're doing now. I'd like to ask, what about that? Did that play into it? Is there some part of this where we're superimposing Louis' fame now back into time and then putting it in the minds of those girls? Absolutely. That's part of what we're doing.
Starting point is 01:06:01 But I don't see it as particularly relevant. Is there a situation in which you would masturbate in front of somebody even if you weren't famous without consent no he didn't do it without consent
Starting point is 01:06:12 well we don't know we don't know to me the consent and we've talked about this on the past episodes I'm sorry unless you were invited to do so
Starting point is 01:06:20 no I would ask because it doesn't seem like in any of those cases Louis was... Well, he did ask, and one woman said yes, and he did it. A couple women said no, and he backed off. One woman said no, he didn't.
Starting point is 01:06:30 And the two women in the hotel room, you know, you could argue it was ambiguous to me. From what I've read, it didn't seem like they had any interest, and he should have known that if he had any sense that they didn't. But to me, that's the. Consent. Not whether he was famous. Not whether they were less famous than he was. That to me is of no relevance. The issue to me is simply, and the entire issue hinges on whether
Starting point is 01:06:53 they were consenting. That to me is the entire issue. I would also like to say, Lou, if you're listening, use your judgment with all that shit I talked about with the white chicks and hooters, etc. If you think it's a little iffy, take it out. If you think it's good, leave it in. Do you have any comment on what Dan just said about
Starting point is 01:07:10 No. I mean, I don't. I will only say that Louis came out and said all the stories were true. And I will say that I mean, I
Starting point is 01:07:24 It's interesting. I mean, I... It's interesting. I mean, these stories about Louis have been circulating for years, as I'm sure you guys know. One story. I only know about one story circulating, and it was the same story over and over. And I only know from the Gawker. I never heard it here. Ever. Ever from anybody. But go ahead.
Starting point is 01:07:40 Ever. Ever. Not once. Really? I mean, I'm not doubting it. I'm sure that's true. I don't know. I found out about it, like, Dan had heard it, but I'd never heard it except when it was on the internet, when it kind of went viral. That's when I heard it. Yeah, no, I don't have much more to say on that other than, you know, I'm curious how,
Starting point is 01:07:58 what Louis does in the next couple of years. Now, leaving Louis for a second, it is so interesting now that you have so many different flavors of this coming out and it's very difficult to create a consistent principle that ought to guide
Starting point is 01:08:15 the public in terms of how to react to things. For instance, Al Franken. Now, Al Franken said, you know, I'm a warm guy and I like to hug people. And if I, you saw that? And if I, and Franken said, you know, I'm a warm guy and I like to hug people. And if I, you saw that? Now, has there ever been a more ridiculous thing said?
Starting point is 01:08:32 Like, imagine if Trump had said that. What does liking to hug people have to do with grabbing girls' asses? What kind of disbelief do we have to suspend here in order to understand that a guy who's grabbed, serially grabbed girls' asses is saying, well, you know, I like to hug people. That's, I mean, that's, how did he not get laughed out of, out of, out of the public court on this? I don't, by the way, I don't think he should resign, but I'm just saying that is just a ridiculous statement, no? I'm certainly curious.
Starting point is 01:09:02 I mean, I, I, I, you know, I think there are a lot of people that are curious how the Al Frank thing turns out. Isn't that one statement on the face of it just one of the most absurd things anybody has ever said? As an excuse for a major... Again, I don't know the answer to that.
Starting point is 01:09:22 What if he was accused of pickpocketing? He says, well, you know, I love to hug people. But what does that have to do with stealing their wallet? You're grabbing girls' asses. Yeah, I'm curious about the reaction from fellow Democrats. Yeah, or John Conyers. He's an icon. John Conyers, right.
Starting point is 01:09:40 Look how much criticism Nancy Pelosi took from this. Yeah. But nobody's asking him to resign. I agree with you. We just don't know. I mean, this is on many levels uncharted territory. Will Netflix drop a John Conyers documentary like they drop a Louis special?
Starting point is 01:09:56 No. Is there a John Conyers documentary? I'm just saying they wouldn't. There's a Chris Brown reality show that they're still doing. There is a Chris Brown reality show. They haven't dropped that, have they? That's right. No, I don't know anything about that.
Starting point is 01:10:06 So there's no... I tend to be very liberal about all this stuff. I think that the politicians should all stay in office and leave it up to the voters. Right. And I think that Netflix should leave everything on the thing and leave it up to the people who want to stream it or not. So you don't have...
Starting point is 01:10:20 So you had an issue with HBO removing all Louis C.K. specials and whatnot. I have a tremendous issue with it. I think it's totally phony. I don't think they couldn't care less. It's just a... You think it was just a PR play. Well, they're putting their finger to the wind and saying what... Listen, this is important because I thought of this today.
Starting point is 01:10:36 And then you say whatever you want. There is a group, I forget what they're called. For some reason, the name Vulture is coming to mind, but I don't know if that's correct. It's a feminist organization that threatened boycotts, and apparently they were the outfit which finally scared Fox enough
Starting point is 01:10:53 that they decided to get rid of O'Reilly. And there was someone else that I think they were able to get taken out. They organized boycotts. And I clearly, I think HBO and Netflix, they're very aware of this organization. And I believe that HBO and Netflix rightfully was like, you know what? We cannot risk any kind of movement to boycott our network by holding on to this guy.
Starting point is 01:11:16 So let's just really show. And I think that's what they did. But you said you have an issue with them pulling Louis' stuff. But then you said, well, if they have a business reason to do so, it's okay. But, I mean, is that what you're saying? Yes. No, I'm not saying it's okay. Well, they can do whatever they want.
Starting point is 01:11:34 I'm saying it's cowardly. Right. And they dress it up as integrity. But they're doing this for business reasons. And you're a very dollars and cents guy, you know, in terms of the way you run your business. Is there a place for taking a stand or should it all be about the balance sheet and the stockholders? I think there is a place for taking a stand. I think they could have taken a stand and I think they could have gotten away with it.
Starting point is 01:11:59 And they could always back down if they didn't get away with it. I don't think they would have to be irreparable. Well, it might have been a wrong business decision, but it was a business decision. If you felt that putting Louis on would seriously affect your bottom line in a way that you would feel, would you put him on anyway? At some point, no. At some point, I would have to think,
Starting point is 01:12:23 but I don't think that's a realistic thing. I don't think it would affect my bottom line. I don't think it would affect HBO's bottom line. And I think that they could have made a statement explaining why they're not going to do it. I mean, I understood why they dropped the movie. I don't know. I have a big problem with all of it because, as I said, because there's no strand of consistency that I can draw through all the incidents in society
Starting point is 01:12:50 and say, okay, well, this is how as a society we've decided to deal with these things. And it just seems very haphazard, you know? I don't have much more to add. He's worried because he works for a newspaper.
Starting point is 01:13:05 But Matt Lauer. How long have we been on the air, by the way? Well, I'll give you a lecture because I know you might want to cut something out. Okay. Well, I think we have quite a bit extra, but yeah, go ahead. Matt Lauer. That's just an amazing thing, right? Like, apparently there's, and this is the most interesting thing about all of it.
Starting point is 01:13:21 We lost you so bad, I think you're getting bored. No, no, no. What's fascinating about this is that every one of these guys so far, they have their go-to, I called it HPF. Oh, we're going to end right now. We have this. They have an HPF, harassment, HFP, harassment fingerprint. And they do it over and over and over in the same way.
Starting point is 01:13:44 So Frankenstein is grabbing asses, and Louis' thing is beating off in front of them, and Weinstein's thing, whatever. And Matt Lauer's thing, apparently, was it Charlie Rose's, the bathrobe move. And Kanye's had his walk around in his underwear move. It's just a very fascinating insight into psychology. I got nothing more than that, but I enjoy it.
Starting point is 01:14:03 So you're asking what was Lauer's fingerprint? No, I'm just saying, whatever it is, there will be. There will be one. I read the Variety story today. I imagine there's some more reporting coming out about it. I'm interested to see what else. I will only say I worked at NBC for two years for a rock center, Brian Williams.
Starting point is 01:14:22 I dealt with Matt, you know, very briefly, and he was very nice, and from my understanding... Everybody says he's nice. You know, I was pretty surprised by the allegations, but I'm curious to see what all the reporting comes out about. Apparently he had a button in his room to lock the door. Yeah, right, that came out in the Variety story. Well, but look, Letterman had his own thing.
Starting point is 01:14:40 It's all about consent. It's really all about consent in the end. A button locking the door is not to me outrageous. No, not as long as she's willing to be in there. Okay, we have to wrap it up. I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about the
Starting point is 01:14:52 whatever it was I was yelling about. Oh, you're fine. About gay marriage. But it's a pleasure to meet you. I'd love to see your YouTube clip
Starting point is 01:15:00 or something like that. Maybe you would want to perform here. I'd love to. That would be great. Because I would love to have a New York Times reporter reporting here so I could just bash you every day and have you yell at me about politics
Starting point is 01:15:12 because I'd love nothing more. Dan? Well, Bitcoin's at $10,300, but by the time you hear this broadcast, it might be at zero. It could be at 20. Who the hell knows? The volatility is insane with this thing.
Starting point is 01:15:23 I'm shorting Bitcoin. Well, that's a pretty sophisticated move. I think they're actually going to be selling futures on Bitcoin, so you can bet against it. I would love to short Bitcoin so I can set up a situation where what's good for me is bad for you and vice versa. That would be a nice dynamic for the show.
Starting point is 01:15:39 I really am sorry if I got a little carried away. No, not at all. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. Well, because my right hand, I can't reach him, so I have to go like this got a little carried away. No, not at all. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. Look at how he shakes hands. All right. Well, because it's my right hand, I can't reach him, so I have to go like this. It doesn't matter. You have to die trying.
Starting point is 01:15:53 It's dishonorable to shake hands with a backhanded left hand. Okay. Especially in his culture, Indians, you don't even shake hands with your left hand, right? I don't know that. You don't know that? No, that's how non-Indian I am, I guess. Isn't this like the untouchable? Well, Indians are in, if I may say so. You don't know what? No, that's how non-Indian I am, I guess. Isn't this like the untouchable? Well, Indians are in, if I may say so. You don't know what I'm referring to?
Starting point is 01:16:10 Because they wipe their... No. I'll have to Google that. It's the best time to be... I learned that in high school. Okay. It's the best time to be Indian in America right now. Not American Indian, but Indian American. Yeah, yeah, like my family.
Starting point is 01:16:22 They're becoming really hip and really cool, and we hope that continues. Well, yeah, like my family. They're becoming really hip and really cool and we hope that continues. Well, thank you for having me. Sopan Deb. Good night, everybody.

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