The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Stand Up 101

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

Dan Naturman and Periel Aschenbrand sit down with Nick Griffin and Ryan Reiss.  Nick Griffin has appeared on Conan, The Late Late Show, in his own half-hour Comedy Central special and was featured on The Late Show with David Letterman eleven times.  Ryan Reiss can be seen daily opening for Seth Meyers.  They are both Comedy Cellar regulars. 

🎵 This is Live from the Table, recorded at the world-famous Comedy Cellar, coming at you on SiriusXM 99. Raw dog! And on the Laugh Button Podcast Network, this is Dan Natterman. Noam Dorman is not here tonight. He has... We are recording on a Monday.

We usually record on a Monday. We usually record on a Wednesday. It's complicated, but Noam cannot be with us because he's doing his weekly Monday gig with the band downstairs. He does every Monday night. Him and his friends do live music at the Olive Tree Cafe upstairs from the Comedy Cellar. In any case, that's what he's doing. So he's left the podcast in my hands. Hopefully I'm up to the task we have

periel ashenbrand with us as we always do and she is our producer and also chimes in and doesn't hesitate to do so um nick griffin is here he is a regular or a semi-regular on our podcast, but a regular at the Comedy Cellar. Yep. Welcome, Nick Griffin. Nick, I want to thank you for doing the podcast. Please don't feel obligated, by the way, to do the podcast. It's too late now. You're here, but I'm saying in future.

Well, I'm a fan of you both. I have a few reasons why I'm doing the podcast. I'm a fan of you both. And also, my girlfriend, I'm doing the podcast. I'm a fan of you both. Also, my girlfriend, Leslie, loves this podcast so much. She listens to it every week. She does a long walk. I don't know if she's ever told you. She does a long walk around the perimeter.

She does it around the perimeter of New York City on a fairly regular basis, but does about a 14-mile walk every week and loves listening to this. And what's the other one that Noam does as well? Oh, Live from America.

Live from America. There he is. But she loves both these podcasts. So I'm pleasing her. So I'm glad to be here. Thrilled to be here. Well, I'd love to hear more of you, too. Yes.

Well, that's the point. I did want to talk tonight somewhat about... Now, Nick, you're doing what is known as New Joke Night, which is, I guess, twice a week here at the Comedy Cellar? It used to be. It's only once a week. Well, in any case, it's around the corner at one of our

auxiliary rooms, the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge. And it's New Joke Night, so that just means the audience is being made aware that these are comics coming up to do new jokes, so that the expectations are such that I guess it's a little bit lower pressure. It's a lower bar, yeah. Wait, can you just tease that out a little bit for people who might not be so well-versed in how your jokes go about? Well, when we have a new joke, we have to test it to make sure it works, obviously. And that can be stressful, you know, to test a new joke, especially here at the Comedy Cellar,

where you feel pressure to do a great job because people, this is the Comedy Cellar. This is a reputation as a place that's good and so you know doing new material you feel like a little bit less at ease doing new material

because what if it doesn't work and now you're you know you're not doing as good a job as you might otherwise have done so anyway

so there's a new joke night where the audience is told this is new joke night but where is is that your favorite place to test out new? What's your favorite place, Nick, to test out new? Well, I'm maybe like you a little bit because I'm a joke writer in the sense that I can try it out anywhere because most of my jokes are 30 seconds long, 15 seconds long.

So it's not going to be a huge, you know, two-minute rant on something that doesn't go anywhere. So if it bombs, I can easily come back 30 seconds later. And I don't write 10 new jokes that I can try right away. I usually have, you know, maybe two a day I can come up with. You know, I would say. Two a day is a lot. Well, they're jokes. I don't know if they work.

But certainly, you know, I can try them out. What do you do when you think of a new joke? Do you have like a notebook or your phone? Yeah, I'm just constantly – I don't think I've ever typed a joke in my life. Everything's in a notebook, old-fashioned notebook-y. Wow. And I use it with a quill. No, I write it in there, and

I used to have all my notebooks, but I threw a bunch of them away. But yeah, I write them in the old notebook, and then I put them in a smaller notebook to bring to the cellar. And then I go on stage with an even smaller notebook.

Come on. Kidding, but yeah, that's my process. Yeah, I've discovered that doing new jokes at other clubs, other than the Comedy Cellar, is really where I prefer to do it. I do too. You know, I just feel the pressure here that is the Comedy Cellar. Usually it's a full room and expectations are such that, you know, some of the other clubs, it's a bit easier.

Now, Nick, say you have two new jokes you want to work out. The first joke, the first new joke you do it and it bombs, it dies a miserable death. I probably won't do the second. Yeah, well, that was a question. Yeah, that's the kind of confidence I run around with. Because you don't want to take the chance of having two jokes at once. Exactly. I don't want two big holes in my 12-minute set, yeah, and I don't want to go home, because you know, I don't know about you, but this is pretty much the highlight of my day, is

coming down here to do a set in front of a really cool, you know, engaged crowd, and so I don't want to ruin it by, yeah, like you said, bombing two jokes in a row, or three jokes in a row, I just can't do it. Can't have it. Yeah, generally, I am of that mind. If the first new joke doesn't work,. Can't have it. Yeah, generally I'm of that mind

if the first new joke doesn't work. Although sometimes it has the opposite effect because I'm like, fuck, I need a new joke to work for my self-esteem. Because when the old joke works, you don't really... You don't care. It doesn't help you feel good about yourself.

How many times do you have to tell a joke in order for it to get entered into the okay, this one works. Right, to make the team. Because there's only so many uniforms to go around. I would say maybe if it works well three times, then I can say, okay, it works.

But before the third time, I'm like, the first time, you're still on probation. If a joke works really well the first time, I'm barely more confident because I just know that there are jokes that sometimes work great and never work well again. I don't know why that is. Now, another aspect is what if the joke doesn't work well at all the first time? Do you even try it the second time or you just write it off?

I might rewrite it a little bit, but chances are I'm going to write it off. Really? You don't even get a second chance are I'm going to write it off, yeah. Really? You don't even get a second chance. I mean, I won't rewrite. I won't. Yeah, I don't. Probably not. I mean, maybe twice, but never.

I can't imagine that I would try a joke that's bombed twice, three times. It also depends on the degree. Like, if it's a flat line. Yeah, that's what I'm referring to. If it's an utter flat line, like zero laughs, anything. And that's a pretty good indication that you have nothing there. Right. Not necessarily, but I've had jokes at some time.

You know, I mean, I did a joke just the other night. I was at the West Side Comic Con. It was a flatliner, but it's killed here on occasion. So what do you make of that? Well, it's kind of... You wouldn't be open to repeating it. Yeah, the joke is as follows. Go ahead.

It's a joke I tried out on Twitter, and it worked well on Twitter. The joke is how my friend's daughter is a Girl Scout, and so he approached me about buying Girl Scout cookies. And I did a little research into the program, and it turns out that the Girl Scout cookie program is designed to help young girls grow into women with confidence and self-esteem. But you know what?

The cookies are so delicious, I bought them anyway. So that usually does pretty well. It flatlined at the West Side Comedy Club. I mean, utterly flatlined. Really? And the explanation might be it's a little harsh. Well, sure. I mean, it's a risky joke for a straight white guy to tell, but that's

kind of why it's also funny. Appealing, yeah. Or maybe they didn't follow it. It wasn't necessarily the swiftest crowd that night. I hate to say. Blaming the audience. Well, not to say, no.

But when a joke works well much of the time and doesn't work at all with like total zero, then you have to ask yourself, well, maybe the audience is at least partially responsible. Yeah. I mean, it's not out of the question that the audience could be at least partly to blame. Absolutely. I was just giving you a hard time. Now, do you write your jokes down in a notebook too?

I do not. Because I just, I never did. And then in a notebook too? I do not. Because I just, I never did. And then now it's kind of become a thing. What do you just remember everything in that noggin of yours? All of it? Well, all of it. As far as I know, all of it. But then again, there could be, I could have 20 minutes of brilliant material that I've forgotten.

I doubt it. You don't type it? You don't have files? I ain't got nothing. What if I get captured by the enemy? That is so crazy. I mean, both of you, by the way. Nick writes it down.

Notebooks. What's wrong with a notebook? People did it for generations. Shakespeare had a notebook. People didn't have phones for generations either. Now we do. Do you do it on your phone? I type everything in. Yeah, I know. I know people who do.

I write. You know, because I'm a writer, so I write and I like writing. My guess is that the notebook is a very common form of writing down your jokes. I highly doubt David Tell, for example, types anything, jokes into his laptop. I would be astounded. But what happens if you lose the notebook? It's trouble, yeah.

It's bad. It's bad news. And I have lost notebooks. But you can also lose files. Sure, but... It's also like Dan said, you know, I started doing it in a notebook and I've just stuck with it.

And, you know, I've had a couple, you know, disasters where I lost the notebook. But my riffing ability in front of an audience is unparalleled. So I didn't need material some of those nights. I'm kidding. Yeah, I know it's a disaster when you don't have the notebook. Wait. You're kidding. I was joking that I could riff.

Of course, I can riff. But you don't do a lot. I'm not an Ian Bag guy who could do 30 minutes of just riffing. But that's also just not, I don't think, your preference anyway. My style, yeah. Yeah, you like. Maybe you could do it. It's just not what you choose to do.

Right. But, you know, like you said about, like, Attell, who, you know, is the master, I don't think I've ever seen him with a note. I know. I think I'm pretty sure I've seen him with a notebook. Have you? I don't. Typically not.

A lot of comics on stage, they'll bring up a notebook. They will bring up a notebook. But I don't believe Attell does that. And he does a lot of new stuff in a set. So that's pretty astounding. Wait, what did you guys... Just to remember that shit, let alone that the jokes are good,

which is impressive enough. Isn't that what you do too? But I only do one or two new ones, at best, at most. So I'm not remembering a lot of new shit. I'm doing the stuff that's locked into my memory because I've done it so much. Whereas Attell might do 10 new minutes that's all shit that that i don't see any evidence that he's written any down

anywhere that he's referring to anything so what did you say did you say that most people do or do not bring something on no most people do not do not but they but they do at home have no most people but but but people like um some of the acts, some of the drop-ins that are not on the schedule, that are doing a lot of new material, and that have license to be a little more laid back. Yeah, they will bring a notebook. So like Aziz might be more likely to bring a notebook. I see a lot of people bringing notebooks on stage. I don't generally only...

Have you? I generally only see the drop in big names bring notebooks. But maybe other... I think I saw others once in a while. But generally, it's just those guys. Because we have to be more professional. Because we don't have... Yeah, they have more license.

We don't have the license. We don't have the tenure that they have. It's not considered professional to bring. Well, yeah. I mean, here it's a professional show. Audiences are paying money. It's a professional show. And you're sitting there looking at a notebook.

It's not that professional. Don't you think Noam would say something if four of the five acts on the bill brought up notebooks? Yeah. I mean, I think it depends who they were. Well, if it were the five acts, but it was all like, you know, huge names, then he'd be fine. But if it was four or five acts that are not famous, he would not like that at all. Absolutely not. By the way, happy holidays.

Merry Christmas. I guess Hanukkah is over, so we can dispense with the happy Hanukkahs. And we can focus on what's really important. And I say that as a Jew because, let's face it, this month is all about Christmas. Happy Hanukkah or happy holidays, it's a courtesy. But if it were not for Christmas, nobody would say, in other words, say the Hanukkah didn't exist or any other holiday didn't exist. We'd still have parties. We would still have decorations. We would still have decorations.

Sure. It would still be the Christmas season. But if they take away Christmas and leave Hanukkah, it would just be a normal month. There would be no lights on the streets. There'd be no parties. There'd be no anything. So it's all Christmas drives the entire mechanism. I agree.

I had this argument with people on Twitter, by the way. They weren't getting what I'm saying as they so often don't I love Christmas but the fact is this whole Christmas is the whole engine that drives this whole thing so what I'm saying is

Merry Christmas in the driest way possible can I selfishly use your years of expertise? Oh, sure. You have a comedy question? Yeah.

Because I was getting into the Christmas thing. I know, but before you totally veer. If not, that's okay. I can ask later. Go ahead. What happens... I have veering privilege, but go ahead. You have veering privilege.

Well, that's why I asked permission. Okay. What happens if, like, you have 10 minutes of jokes that usually do extremely well? Just, by the way, just to preface, I'm sorry. It needs to be said. Perrielle is a relatively new stand-up comic. So she is full of questions. Right. So I've been doing it for a few years now, but I got derailed a little bit with COVID. But OK, anyway. And then I went into a new space and the room was a nightmare. college kids and then like a dad like a 40 something year old dad with like a 19 year old

son and then three asian people from like japan and then like a modern orthodox israeli couple and it was just awful so your question is well are you does that mean that the material that usually does really well like it's actually not doing really well or. If it does really well most of the time, then it's good. Yeah, it's a judgment call. I would imagine it's the audience under those circumstances. If it's something that always worked but didn't work this particular time. But isn't it your job to like figure out how to make it work no matter what?

That's a good question i mean they've always said over the years like well various people who i can't remember their names that well you should be able to handle any circumstance but i think just getting through the set is a way to handle some of those situations i mean well i would i mean one could look at it this way would you expect a country music artist to appeal to rap fans it's i mean you know isn't your job as a comic to like well you said you know it's a professional thing like you walk in the room is different so isn't it your job it's your job to do the best you can you know but if you can't do it you can't do it what are you gonna do yeah i guess theoretically

sure if you i mean i i prefer to kill rather bomb, so I will try to kill every time. But sometimes there's no kill to be had, at least not with my act. There's only so much you can do. So it didn't work. It didn't work. But that's one school of thought. And Noam has often said, well, it's our job to always kill. And Noam will sometimes sort of make fun of comics that consider themselves sort of above that,

that they do their thing and if the audience doesn't want to come along, fuck them. But I think that there is such a thing as sort of being a niche player. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Yeah, you find your audience. But, I mean, you've produced enough shows to, I'm sure, I mean, of course, understand that there's only so much you can do with a certain bunch of people who may not even be that well-versed, not only on comedy, but the fact that there's a show in the venue. I mean, I played a bunch of rooms where people were surprised there was even a show that night, and you had to do the best you could, and I bombed, but I've done well. I've done both. I wanted to jump in a river,

but I also sort of felt like you should be able to pivot and, you know, sort of, I don't know if it's crowd work or what. Well, if you, if you, crowd work can sometimes do the trick if you want to do that, you know. Yes, I mean, but if you, I mean, if you don't have the tools, you don't have the tools. Maybe it comes with experience.

But everybody can bomb. Nobody's immune to it. Nobody's immune to it. Now, if you're a famous person that brings their own audience, like I opened for Louis recently, well, all those people in that audience are there for Louis. So they're all like Louis shit already. The likelihood that he's going to bomb is very minimal.

The likelihood that I could bomb, that's a little higher. But not that high because his audiences tend to be pretty good. And respectful and smart. Yeah, they tend to fit in well with whatever I'm saying generally. Well, you're also hand-selected to open, right? Yeah, so I guess he, I don't know to what extent Louis, what his criteria

are, or in general, what the criteria are for opening acts. You know, I mean, there's different criteria. First of all, how hard do you want the guy before you to kill? And does that help? You know, I mean,

you don't want to bomb and piss everybody off, but do you want him to annihilate? Is that going to help you in any way? Is that, I mean, I guess it makes the show somewhat better, but do you benefit from that as the headline? Having worked with or seen Louie over the years, I don't think anyone crushes as much as Louis, and I think Louis...

Well, certainly with his audience, he's going to crush. Yeah, of course, but the confidence that yeah, I don't think he's... He's not worried that he's going to be blown off the stage. That's not his first concern. Right. But I'm saying, so then when he looks for an opening act, is his criteria somebody that kills

the hardest, or somebody I can stand spending a few days with on the road or somebody that I like personally or something that I want to help give a few bucks to because I think they need the money? I mean, I don't know what's going on. I would say it's someone that he respects and wants to, you know, probably enjoy a few minutes with or a few hours with on the road. Yeah, I spend very little time with Louis. So it's not like he's not picking me because we hang out because we don't hang out at all. No, I just meant, you know, during the show and stuff that you're not going to be jackass. I think there's a couple of factors. He knows I'm going to do a good job.

Of course. Okay, so in front of the audience. He can stand hanging out with me for some period of time. And he respects me. And he probably thinks I need, you know, let me finish, please, if you would. He probably thinks, you know, Dan could use a few bucks. And since I respect him, I'm going to do something nice and give him a few bucks.

No, I think you're so fucking off. Especially because he said he's like, this is one of my favorite comedians. I don't know why that's so difficult for you to take in. Just by way of some synopsis,

before he brought me on the night that Perry Elwood, because Perry Elwood made a special trip to Chicago to come see the show, Louis said, this is one of my favorite acts, please welcome Dan Adler. How seriously can we take that statement? I think Louis,

and I don't say this lightly, I think Louis is a very serious person and I don't think he would say it if he didn't believe it. Louis doesn't seem to me to throw off casual comments, especially about veteran comics who he's been around with for 25 years. Yeah, that's all he could be.

That would be my take. You think he gives a shit? You think he's thinking about whether or not you need a few extra bucks? Yeah, I think so. No. I think so. Because. I think so. But because he used a lot of opening acts.

I think he is like, I think he's trying to be, to help people and be generous with people. He's donated money to comedians' causes. During the pandemic, there was a fundraiser for comedians. He donated a large amount of money. I do think he's cognizant of,

you know, helping people out. So yeah, I do think that's a factor. Yes. I'm not discounting that. I just think that he thinks that the comics that he puts on, I would imagine that he thinks that they're brilliant. Well, I might ask him, but we don't talk very much. Nick, now you headline on the road. So you have opening acts. I do. So what would you prefer in an opening act? I would prefer someone who's a good, solid joke teller and fun to hang out with. Those are basically my two criteria, or my criteria. And that's about it. I mean, I like to—I don't hang out a lot on the road anyway,

but I like to go out for a lovely load of pancakes at the end of the night or some coffee or something, a lovely pastrami sandwich. I hear you with the pastrami, yeah. Nothing wrong with that at 1 in the morning. It may not be healthy, but what happens? No, it's not. It's not healthy at all, especially on that white bread. Like a rye.

Yeah, rye. Yeah, you don't want to. That'll make all the difference. Yeah. But, yeah, that's been my, and I have some buddies who, if you're a middle act, especially these days, you're probably making nothing. I mean, you're probably going home with $150, $200 after your flight and your meals. But the decision they make is either stay home and make $100 or go on the road and have a little fun and be in a different city and hang out.

Well, tell everybody what a middle act is. I don't know if all the— Well, you've got three acts. You've got your host there who does about 10, 10 to 15. This is sort of just the standard in comedy clubs. On the road, yeah. Somehow this became the standard. Yeah, 10, 15.

And they've probably been doing it maybe three years or less, maybe a little more. And then the middle act does 25 minutes, basically. And that's the problem going from a middle act to a headliner is you kind of – it's a hard transition because you got to have maybe a little credits and some stuff you can brag about on the marquee. He was on James Corden or something or Fallon or something. So it's hard to move up is what I'm saying from a middle act to a headliner because I've worked with some really good middle acts

and you know probably headline on their own but it's hard to get books well the middle acts are often like after a show I don't work clubs that often but I would hear people say you should have headlined to the middle act which is kind of devastating to hear but you know and I've been told that.

For both people, I feel like. Well, the middle act isn't quite as devastating as the headliner overhearing it. And I've been told that as a middle act. The middle act, I mean, he's at somewhat of an advantage because he's doing less time. Oh, I would say an advantage, yeah. And they're not dropping checks during his set, as they often will do during the headliner's set. But it's less time, so it's more compact. And they're often very strong.

And as Nick said, they often should be headlining, but maybe they just don't have the credits or whatever. Yeah, they live in Oklahoma City or Kansas City or Des Moines. Or maybe they're just more kind of—if they live in the town that you are performing in, they might just be better adapted to that audience. Yeah. So you're coming from, I'm a city slicker, come from New York, and this guy might live in Tennessee or live in Oklahoma and is just more in tune with those people.

So in that sense also there's an advantage. So do you bring your opener or your host and your middle act with you? Just the middle act and not always not always will they let me a lot of towns like dan said will only use support acts from that town so sometimes they'll have an opener and a middle from des moines when i go to des moines sometimes i'll have three or four just openers everyone does 10 and then they bring me up. So it's, but you know, I would say half the time on the road, I bring a guy from New York City or I have somebody in the Midwest who I like and he'll drive there. But it's hard because they pay so poorly to be a Midlite that if you're doing a show far

away and the guy lives in New York that you want to bring, he's not going to make any money because he got to fly there. And they don't pay anything. Oftentimes they don't pay. They might not even give a hotel room. Yeah, oftentimes. So, you know, it just makes more financial sense for somebody local to do it. But isn't that what you just did in Chicago?

Well, Louie has a budget. Right. So he can bring me. We're talking about, I mean, Louis has a big corporation that has a big budget to bring people and to pay for hotels and pay for airfare. We go to a local comedy club, they pay the middle act,

you know, whatever, $500 for the whole weekend. I don't know, is it $500 for the weekend? Yeah, yeah, it's probably. And if you have to spend $300 in airfare to get wherever you're going. Somewhere between $400 and $700 is how much it is. And they don't give you airfare.

For the middle act, not for the headline. For the middle act, yeah. They might give you a hotel, but if they don't give you a hotel, then you're really not making anything. But oftentimes they do it because they want stage time. And if they're having a hard time on the road, they're probably having a hard time in New York City getting stage time as well. So I thought, well, best case scenario, I'll just go on the road and

take a hit. Also, it's experience. And hang out with the great Nick Griffin, sure. I mean, also, it's experience, isn't it? Yeah, no, that's, of course, that's exactly what it is. And that's what I did for years on the road. I would middle for, I middled for Bobby Slayton for

probably five years. That seems like an odd pairing you and Bobby Slayton have. I know. It is. The bulldog. What's it called? The bulldog? The pit bull?

Pit bull of comedy. Yeah, they just seem like an odd pair. I mean, I was going to say, I don't know who that is. Well, he's an aggressive guy. Sid Yishas. Sid Vicious. Sid Yishas. Well, he's Jewish, so I guess.

That's hilarious. Yeah, it was. But Nick is very soft-spoken, as you can tell, just by listening to this podcast. He's experienced. Thank God for these mics. Certainly on stage, he is a lower-energy guy, so it is an odd...

But I guess if you're going to have an opening act, your opening act should have less energy than you. It may be a little different. The opposite could be problematic. If you had somebody like Bobby Slayton opening for you. Right. Like I had this guy Kool-Aid opening for me years ago. Never heard of him.

Well, Kool-Aid is a very high energy black guy. Yes. He annihilated. And I proceeded to then stink up the room. No, that's not true. Well, I'm telling you it's true. Dan was there. This is early in my headlining career, but I'm not saying it wouldn't happen tomorrow necessarily.

But, you know, I just didn't connect with those people, and he certainly did. So, you know, it wasn't necessarily pleasant. But anyway, I do want to—there's a couple other topics. But first of all, didn't you have something, Perrie, you wanted to address? Am I being invited to choose a topic now? no you had mentioned before the show shouldn't we talk about yeah well i mean as it turns out most of the show is just really for my benefit at this point um was it my aruba upcoming aruba trip i wanted to talk about your jacket so i saw you in Chicago. It was freezing, okay? It was fucking freezing.

He is walking around. I'll show you what I'm walking around with. I have it with me. But we're on a radio show. But I can describe it, and you can look at it, and I can describe it to the audience. It is a leather jacket and a very light vest atop the leather jacket.

Oh, nice. Is that normal? I don't know. I mean, not at... Well, the thing about it is, is my other jacket, this zipper is broken. And this is all I have for now. But Perrielle got on my case because she is concerned about me catching cold to get a jacket. So she sent me a link to Dick's Sporting Goods

and a jacket that she, so I bought it today. Oh, you did? I thought I sent it to you. It was a Patagonia jacket. Well, whatever it was, you sent me the link, said I suggest this jacket, then you gave me another suggestion. I bought it, the $300 one that you.

Yeah, Patagonia. I'm very proud of you. It was nuts. I mean, it's like. Well, the truth of the matter is, is I'm very proud of you. It was nuts. I mean, it's like... Well, the truth of the matter is I'm not outside that much. I go out... Like in Chicago, I went out,

I got into the car, the Uber, went to the theater, did the show, got back into the Uber, went to the hotel, and the whole day at the hotel, I didn't go out of the hotel. I went to the Cheesecake Factory

across the street. Yeah, it was downtown. You cannot... And who was the other support act? Mike Vachon. Oh, lovely. They were great. It was so fun.

Wait, do we have another Mike, Nicole? Because it sounds like Ryan Reese is here. Oh, shit. And I count three Mikes. That was my fault. I forgot to tell you that. Well, that's okay, because Nicole's good under pressure. And fans of the show know Nicole.

She is our sound engineer. Sorry, Nicole. She does it all. Dan changed his mind. As one. Which is fine, but that was why I can do. So you're going to Oklahoma, and you're going to Aruba. I'm going to Oklahoma City in, that would be the 5th through the 9th, I believe.

And where can people find you? You can find NickGriffin.net. You can see all my tour dates there. That'd be lovely. And there's some videos there and a couple pictures, a bio, and that's about it, really. Your standard website? I don't have a website.

My website, I stopped paying. I just, like, for whatever reason, the money was due and I forgot and I didn't know and then the website went offline and I never put it back up. So I don't have a website. Are websites a big... Do you need them nowadays or is it all Instagram and TikTok?

I was going to ask you that, Perrielle, if you felt like basically eventually Instagram will just be where everyone gets all their information of people. Yes, but you need to have an Instagram. Your date should be on your Instagram, but you should have a functioning website.

I mean, it's like a business card. It doesn't have to be like a whole fancy thing. Right. But it's, I feel like it's like a professional, you know, it's like a calling card. You need to have a website I think just where everything is your manager's

information also Instagram I guess theoretically could go out of business well I guess it could or it could stop like in other words if you have 100,000 fans on Instagram Instagram controls it so if Instagram ever

stops being Instagram then you lose those 100,000 fans on Instagram, Instagram controls it. So if Instagram ever stops being Instagram, then you lose those 100,000 followers. Okay, but let's say— That's not likely to happen, but I'm saying it could happen. Somebody sees you opening for Lily. But is that true or false? No, it's— You're saying Instagram is never going anywhere? It's very unlikely.

It is unlikely, but I'm saying you don't control those 100,000 people entirely. Okay, that is true, but it's not in Instagram's best interest if they have somebody who has 100,000 followers. I don't know what could happen to Instagram. You're likely correct that nothing would happen to Instagram, but I'm saying you do not control 100% that network. If I want to book either one of you on a movie, how do I do that if I can't find you?

I'm a big director. It's not hard to find. If you're really interested, it's not hard to find. I've got an email address on my website as well. Gotta work on my attitude, though. It is something you have to work on

when you get older, you know, because it's so much stuff that weighs on you. They say get up early. They say that's a big one. They say if you want to feel good about yourself, get up early, accomplish something, then you feel good the rest of the day that you've accomplished something. But to I do that I go back to bed. I did it. Hard to get out of bed, man. Bed is where all the good stuff happens. Right? Sleep, sex, if you're single, dinner. Hmm? Ever had a can of soup in bed? Whoo! It's like being in the womb. No, because no. Don't want to get out of bed, though, don't you?

Don't you, people? You love your bed, don't you? Don't you love your bed? Yeah. Right? It's nice, isn't you? Don't you love your bed? Yeah. Right? It's nice, isn't it? The bed is so good that when you get out of bed in the morning and there's someone still in there, you fucking hate them just a little. You son of a bitch. Mouth breather.

That should be one of the vows. In sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer. And when I get out of bed, you get your ass out of bed. Piece of shit. You don't want to get out of bed, man. Because you're tired. And you're ugly. Yeah, you're ugly.

You're ugly in the morning. You're never going to be more ugly You're ugly in the morning. You're never going to be more ugly than you are in the morning. Yeah, that's why couples don't speak first thing. They're in shock. Oh, please don't be mine. Please don't be mine. Tell me that's a homeless man.

Yikes. It's awful, man. You go to that bathroom mirror. Woo! What did my pillow explode? It's a nightmare. Your hair's messed up, your eyes are bloodshot, your face is puffy. You got gunk coming out of every crease. It's like someone tried to choke you to death and gave up halfway through. Eh, it's taking too long. At least he's ugly.

Tired and ugly in the morning and you're dumb. You're dumb just for like a minute. Just for like a minute. When you first wake up, you're kind of disoriented. You don't... Ever have someone ask you a question as soon as you wake up? It's jarring. Have you seen my charger?

What? Jesus Christ. Slow it down for a second. What in God's name is a charger? Then look away, you're hideous. Hi, Ryan. Ryan Reese, everybody.

Another comedy seller. Thank you. A comedy seller regular. And is the movie out? You did a documentary. It's not. No, no, no. We are in post.

Post-production. So I guess that's... By the way, we were addressing... It's a great shirt. Ryan always looks his best. He does. Massive insecurities, I'm asking you, with dressing nicely and trying to present well.

Well, in any case, it couldn't hurt. We were talking earlier about new jokes, and where do you prefer to work out new jokes? What's your favorite place to work out a new bit? I mean, I think it's all kind of, I mean, I don't know. It's all kind of changed. Jump right in, yeah. It's changed. It's not what it was. What's not what it was? Well, I mean, you know it's all kind of, I mean, I don't know. It's all kind of changed. You just jumped right in, yeah. It's changed.

It's not what it was. What's not what it was? Well, I mean, you know. What was it? All right, so you go to, like, probably the road would be where you do no jokes before you bring them back to the city. Okay, I mean, theoretically.

I don't, because I feel more pressure on the road, because it's like, if I'm headlining, I'm the headliner. But you have more time. Also, I'm more stressed on the road because that's the nature of me. And when I'm stressed, I don't want to deal with new material. I just want to run the shit that I have. But that's me. I'm different in many ways from your standard comic.

From your standard person, too, maybe. Well, that's true. So, but you would say, but you like to do comic, new stuff on the road, outside New York City, on the road, ideally. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, there's a, it feels like it's less pressure. Yeah, we all agreed that you always want to, or you want to try to always have a great set at the cellar. It's hard to try new jokes there I mean I do try them but it's

but on the road I sneak them in on the road I feel that same pressure because if you're the headliner yeah of course then you know they're coming to see you

specifically so the place that I prefer to new jokes new jokes is in the city anywhere but here so like if you're doing like a little show

like my show like the Perry Ellis show the cunt show. That's what she called it. I'm sorry, that's what she called it. It's called See You Next Tuesday. Right, but your logo is a vagina. And it's called See You Next Tuesday. I mean, that's just good sales.

I mean, I'd buy a ticket. Not since the Nike brand. They said I should change the name because they're giving me a Thursday night now. Where? See You Next Thursday? No, they said, like, I should change the name because they're giving me a Thursday night now. See you next Thursday? No, they said I should change it. And they also said it's vulgar. Well, it is vulgar. And it's also not related to the show.

I mean, if the show was like a woman's empowerment show, then one might make that connection. But it's just a regular show that happens to have a vagina logo. Well, no. I mean, it's more intellectual than that. It's not meant to be like gratuitously vulgar. I sort of, I have a real issue with this, you know, sort of bad word thing. And people are so scandalized by the word cunt that it's. I mean, you had me at vagina logo and you lost me at intellectual.

I was like, oh, there's a reading? No, thank you. I don't. And a lot of people don't even realize that. You know because you know. I know what? The vagina? You know what's funny? I didn't recognize that until after a while. Yeah. But in any case,

it's been a while, huh? Yeah. Well, it's a cartoon. It doesn't look... It's a cartoon. It's a drawing. Yeah, I didn't pick up on that. I really got to look into that. But your show, yes, would be an ideal show for new material. That's correct. Is that because you feel like

a lot of love because you know you're surrounded by people who love you? Supportive, yeah. Environment. And you know we're so happy to have you there. Yeah, it's low pressure. Great, thanks. I don't give a shit if I vomit, Perry. Where's the show? Stand up. It's in pressure. Great, thanks. I don't give a shit if I vomit, Perry. Where's the show?

Stand up. It's in New York. Yeah, usually the audience is not bursting at the seams in terms of the capacity. Yeah. So, you know, and yeah, it's your show. It's not the same as working here. You usually do very well, though, too. Yeah, so they seem to like me.

They do like you. So in any case. What demographic are we looking at there? Young women? No, not at all. What are you in the market for, Nick? Intellectual women. But C-U-N-T, I thought there might be a kind of appeal to.

No, I'm just entertaining myself with that name. Oh, okay. No, I think it's across. I think it's a lot of New York. They get tourists too, though. I think that all the comics that I gravitate towards and the people that we put on the show are usually pretty smart. I mean, you know.

So just to pivot a little bit, if I could. Do you know. So, just to pivot a little bit, if I could. Do you like smart comedy, Dan? Not specifically, but I'm just curious about it. Do I like smart comedy? I'm not sure what smart comedy is. There's comics that talk about intellectual topics,

but that doesn't mean it's smart. It just means you might be talking about politics, but you can talk about politics in a dumb way. I always felt that. You can talk about taking a shit in a smart way. I always felt Giraldo did the smart dick joke, meaning like it was like this heavy intellectual topic and it usually ended up with like a dick in the eye.

You know what I mean? Like it started in like some. The topic doesn't dictate whether it's a smart joke or not. So, you know, I mean, I tell as a guy that seldom broaches intellectual topics, but his jokes are well-written.

So in that sense, it's smart comedy. Well, he's also a genius. I mean, I think that there are some... I mean, listen... That's not relevant to what I'm saying. I'm saying that he doesn't tackle weighty issues. He's not talking about, I mean, listen. That's not relevant to what I'm saying. I'm saying that he doesn't tackle weighty issues. He's not talking about, you know, political issues.

Right, that's not what I meant. He's talking about his, you know, his friend, Lollipop Johnson, and the midget that he solves crimes with, or whatever he's talking about. But does it in a smart way. So to answer your question, I guess I like a well-written joke, but the topic doesn't have to be a weighty topic. Yeah, agreed. And some people think they're smart

because they happen to be talking about weighty issues, but they're doing it in a way that is not necessarily all that smart. Brooklyn. You're talking about Brooklyn comedy. Well, I don't go there. No one does. So can you tell us a bit? I'm sure we've touched this on other episodes,

but a bit about the documentary that you're doing. Oh, sure, sure, sure. The documentary, I guess we call it a narrative documentary. It's called Before We Get Started. It's about the career path of a warm-up comedian. A warm-up comedian is someone that opens every TV show you see with an audience. Every TV show you see that has an audience starts with a comedian that opens the show. So some of these warm-ups have gone on to great things like Bob Saget and Mark Summers and a few others.

Who's Mark Summers? Mark Summers was the host of Double Dare. Oh, him. Okay. Come on. He's also big on the Food Network. Not quite as renowned as Bob Saget. Yeah, I bet you he's got more money than Saget. You think?

Food Network, he created a lot of shows. Oh, if you create the show, yeah. He got in early. Judge Judy apparently is one of the richest people in Hollywood. Yeah, that's what I heard. Love her. Me too. I loved her curb.

Oh, she's so great. So anyway, the... Oh, right, right. So basically, it explores the world of warm-up comedy through me, who does warm-up comedy, to see basically the narrative is like, is this it for me? Is there something else?

And then obviously we go on this journey and we meet some people that are career warm-ups, like Joey Cola, and some counterparts like Mark Sweet in L.A. And then, you know, we meet the other guys that have done it, and then they've gone on to other things. So what is, what, in your estimation, are the factors that make a great audience warm-up comic?

I mean, David Tell, who's considered a great comic, would he be a great audience warm-up comic? He's in the movie. He did it. Oh, he did? Yeah, that's why I was so excited. Oh, that's interesting. But it's... What about, say, Mitch Hedberg or

that energy level? Well, Seinfeld did it also. But the idea is you're serving the show and the host of the show as opposed to yourself. So you can't go out there and do your favorite joke because you love it and you know it speaks to you.

You can't do that. It might sour the audience. They didn't come there to see you. They came there to see the show. So what do you need to do? You have to be in service of the show. Which means? The audience, basically they want to be, like say it's a sitcom, right?

So the sitcom is between shots, they have to set up the cameras. It's a six-hour taping, yeah. So there's a lot of time where they're not actually filming anything. So that's your job to do it, to just be the entertainer? Well, once again, when you get on these bigger shows, they also have things that are going to help you. They pay a DJ to go with you, and they also bring in food, and they also bring in water.

They have giveaways, too, don't they? They have giveaways. So when you do a show that has a budget like that, there's a lot of help you get in entertaining this audience or holding them for six hours. How much time is it? I mean they're shooting a sitcom for six hours. You're going on and off for

six hours? If it's a new sitcom, it could take that long. But if they've been doing it for a couple years, they can probably bang it out in like two hours. It's a monster, monster job. It takes a lot of energy and a lot of creativity and really just to hold this audience's

attention. And they gotta like you. If the audience doesn't like you, you're done. They have to like you because they're gonna be with you for a while. I mean, how important is it to be funny as opposed to just keeping the energy going? Well, that depends. Like, Mark Sweet's a hypnotist and a magician, so he works that into his act when he's doing a sitcom in L.A. Joey doesn't do that.

Joey does comedy. It varies on the performance. And I would imagine you have to keep it clean or reasonably clean. Depends on the performance. And I would imagine you have to keep it clean or reasonably clean. Depends on the show. I mean, like, for someone like me, I do. I make that choice because it's just safer.

But, you know, I've been to shows where they're not. You know, they're a little edgier. You know, but you run the risk of getting a complaint.

But I guess, like, it would depend. Like, if you're doing a network show, you know, I mean, if you're doing back in the day,

going back to, like, you know, the Cosby show or something, a family show, then you'd probably be expected to be... That's quite a choice. Well, I haven't been watching sitcoms in a while, so I... I believe Chris Rock had done some sort of warm-up for the Cosby show, and Cosby felt he was too dirty and took

the mic from him. Oh, that's amazing. Oh. Yeah, I mean, Cosby's also was just notorious for being a stickler about clean. Right, well, he's, like, raping somebody in him. Oh. Yeah, I mean, Cosby's also was just notorious for being a stickler about clean. Yeah, he's super. Right, well, he's like raping somebody in the back room. Yes, I mean, yeah. Chris Rock's being too dirty telling jokes. Well, nobody said the man wasn't a hypocrite, but he did.

Dirty is thick. It's amazing. So you're now in the post-production stage, and then it's like film festivals or something? No, no, I have a... Basically, we shot it and the first cut wasn't what it needed to be so I had to bring in a new creative and new animators and get someone to score the thing.

Basically, all the post-production work. I do have an agent that's going to rep it and we're just going to get it out there. Try to sell it to Netflix or something like that. Well, I think I stacked the deck enough that i hope someone will want to spend something on it well it sounds uh this is you're the producer yeah sounds a big that's a lot of work obviously well i didn't say it was the greatest choice in the world but well no i well it is if it is if it becomes a big deal well look the hard work the the assets to the film was, one, the story, which hasn't been done,

and two, all the talent I was able to get in it, which was, you know, super. All the comedians that lent their time, just such a huge help. Saget, Seth Meyers, John Oliver, Amy Schumer, just Ray Romano, just all these people lent their time and helped make this happen. So now I just got to get it across the finish line. Well, we certainly wish you luck with that and be on the lookout for What's It Called Again. Before we get started,

if you're single and you're over 30, you're going to get dating advice from relatives you didn't ask for. My grandmother gives me dating advice. She goes, Ryan, you should try to meet someone nice on the bus. She's 97. The bus was her Facebook. She says that because she met my grandfather on the bus. He was the bus driver. True story. She tries to make it cute. She goes, well, I wanted to ride the bus for free, so I

married him. That's adorable until you think about it. Then you're like, wow, Grandma was the first E-ZPass. Look, I've had relationships. I actually just had one, and kind of weirdly. I actually had a girl leave me for someone way better than me. Way better. Major league baseball player. Right? I think she told me for someone way better than me. Way better. Major League Baseball player. Right?

I think she told me she thought I'd fight for her, but when she told me, I was just like, oh, that's a really good move. Can you get me tickets? Grandma says I can take the bus there. I'm Ryan Rees, guys. Thanks for your time! Nicole, by the way. Nicole, are you there?

Yeah, what's up? Any thoughts about the show so far? We often ask Nicole. That's the best deadpan response I've heard in years. Part of the show, it's become a feature, really, is to ask Nicole what she thinks of the episode. Yeah, this is great. You're doing a good job of balancing the inside baseball with making it accessible for people.

What do you think about this compared to a more Noam-esque conversation wherein we talk about Roe v. Wade? We had Alan Dershowitz on every past week just to, you know. And it was a good discussion. I like those shows. I'm just wondering whether the people— Did you enjoy that, Perrielle? I enjoy whatever makes Noam and

Dan happy. That's my role here really. Okay, now could you answer the question seriously? Yeah, that was very... I prefer shows... I don't like doing it over Zoom that much for starters. Noam Zooms in quite a fair amount. He was here for that show, but Alan

Zoomed in. Yeah, Alan zoomed in. So I feel like there's really something about the energy in the room. Also, the sound sometimes with Zoom. Alan was cutting out a little bit. And, you know, the possibility of getting COVID, that always makes it a little bit exciting. So, Nicole, what is your preference? Yeah, I feel the same way pretty much about everything.

Like, as a technical person, the Zoom kind of... No, I'm talking about the political discussion versus this kind of more comedically oriented discussion. Yeah, I will say it every time. I definitely am less scared in these environments. So I'm having fun so far. But yeah, also, it's tough for me because I don't, you know, I'm not super up to date on the goings-on of the world, so I feel, you know, a little more tuned in here.

Well, even with me as a host, you're bound to get, you're probably not going to get any discussions of Asian admissions policies at Harvard. You're probably not going to get any discussion of the Steele dossier, which I still am not sure what that is, but I had to do with Trump. I think you know what it is, Ryan. Very on the surface. I wouldn't know much about it.

But you just might get some discussion of some current events type stuff. For example, something I think is interesting, Elon Musk is Times Man of the Year this year, which seems, I guess, I don't know why this year necessarily as opposed to last year or next year. Well, why? Well, I don't know why because I haven't delved into it, but he is the man of the year. And I think it seems like a reasonable choice.

He has certainly changed the world. Not only is he ridiculously rich. Is he third now? No, he was up at $300 billion. So he was number one. I don't know if it... I mean, it depends on the stock price of Tesla. So I don't know where he is now. But he's...

$300 billion. $300 billion. This is silly. Quite a nice chunk of change. Yeah. I've been trying to write a joke about if he goes into a store and orders... He gets a bottle of water. Is the guy behind the counter like, like, if he goes into a store and, like, orders a bottle of water, is the guy behind the counter like, okay, one bottle of water, okay, that'll be 50 grand.

I don't know if that's—you didn't laugh that much. So it's probably not that. I like that first joke you told. Yeah, you like the Girl Scout one. There's got to be a joke about Elon, about that man who's worth $300 billion. But Gary, like, took—Gary Goleman took, he did a whole thing about Bill Gates and he might have taken all the super rich, you know,

he might have already exhausted that mine. Right. Anyway, Elon Musk, thoughts, Ryan Rees? This is, Ed Go.

I feel like I'm on PBS. This is very... I don't know. Do you care? Does anyone read magazines? Would you rather be... Does anyone read magazines? Would you rather be...

Yeah, that's true. I mean, Time magazine. And by the way, Elon Musk, I mean, is that really with the Times? Shouldn't it be a woman or maybe someone that is a transgender maybe or something more? Well... Another white male. I guess that's... Yes.

Oh. They probably consider that. And despite the fact that he's a white male, his accomplishments are so overwhelming that he squeaked through. Wasn't Trump the man of the year? He might have been. Are you leaving us, Nick? I have to go. He's doing new

jokes. New jokes night. Okay. Well, I'll use my notepad. Well, do you want to run a new joke by us, or you'd prefer not? No, I'd rather not. Okay, okay. Best of luck. But I love you guys and thanks for having me. I love you, Nick. Thank you. Would you rather be a rock star? Rock star. Or Elon Musk? Rock star.

Okay. I think I'd rather be Elon Musk. Rock star. Like a Mick Jagger rock star? Yeah, like a major rock star, like Mick Jagger. Yeah, obviously. So it gets to a point where the money doesn't really mean anything. But it's not the money. It's the fact that he needs the money to buy shit. It's the fact that he has done so much to advance the cause of human development.

I mean, he, you know, he set us on a course with electric cars. Somebody else would have done that, though well you can say that about anything but not about mick jagger or john lennon i mean they'll never be another like i mean being an artist is singular in your talent i suppose i mean okay i'll give you that um by the way he does comedy he's done comedy with chappelle yeah so it tells you it tells you about his life as great as it is. He's like, I still want to do five minutes. Well, I guess it's the grasping always greener on the other side. And he also did SNL and so on.

Uh-huh. He wants to be a rock star. Yeah, exactly. Or a comic star. Yeah, I guess there's no pleasing people. I love that that's Dan's takeaway. But you can say about any, I guess, scientist or industry person that somebody would have done it anyway.

And I think the great men in history, you know, they advance, they speed it up a few, I mean, at best, a few years. You're not wrong. Maybe 10 years. I mean, it could be my personal bias, too. No, but you're right. I see what you're saying.

It's like, yeah, nobody would have written Sympathy for the Devil if Mick Jagger didn't write Sympathy for the Devil if Mick Jagger didn't write Sympathy for the Devil. It's not one of my favorite stone songs, but it's a good song. I like that song. I prefer, you know,

Street Fighting, not Street Fighting, but what's the one with the, whoa, chill, it's just a shot away. It's just a, I've been doing a very poor job of it,

but give me Shelter, give me Shelter, give me Shelter. I like Beast of Burden a lot myself. A lot of good stuff. But yes, if Elon Musk had not started Tesla, somebody at some point would have come up with a car.

It wouldn't have been Tesla, but it would have been something similar. But he did advance everything several years. And as I said, I think the greatest scientists in history, all they do is, i mean newton maybe sped us up maybe 10 years compared to what somebody else would have discovered what he

described i guess i don't know who found the vaccine why don't we know that person's name um i think we're a lot of people that worked on that yeah i think they had it on file they may have they very do you think so i think they had i think they were probably already working on something they're working on yeah the r the rna back i'm not saying it's conspiracy i'm saying they were probably working on something within that that family and then when this came along they were like well we're not that far off you saw that expression on my face i'm so susceptible to a conspiracy to a good conspiracy oh i absolutely believe this virus was man-created. I don't understand how that's not a rational thought in everyone's head.

You believe it was created in Wuhan in the lab. I believe it was man-created. I don't know who did it. But why do you believe that? I thought that was commonly accepted now. Well, it's accepted that it's possible. And I'm not saying it's not possible. But I'm saying, why would you think that it's probable?

If you were going to design a bioweapon, this is kind of the one. Yeah, but a bioweapon that just kills everybody all over the world. No, it does not kill everyone. Just old people? And people that have preexisting conditions and people that are very overweight. Basically, people that you might not consider essential to society. And then also think about it this way. China, a lot of old people.

They have way more old people than they can care for uh then i'm not done uh and then on top of that this virus what it does is it overloads your system it doesn't actually kill people but it shuts down everything right you have everyone going to the hospital it's very easy to invade a country if everyone is out sick oh except that your country is also out sick. And then it was, I believe, and I have to check again, I think maybe, doesn't it affect men more than women? Yes. You're saying women came up with it. Feminists.

No. That's a good joke. I'm saying that if you were going to make a bioweapon, this certainly has a lot of the characteristics. It was created by Chinese lesbians. But again... Well, once again, men aren't necessarily considered essential to the species.

You need women to have kids. Do you need men? There's a little gray area there. No, there isn't. But, Ryan, it was a bioweapon. Yeah, it's easier to invade a country if everybody's sick unless your country's also sick. I mean, China, it's easier to invade a country if everybody's sick, unless your country's also sick. I mean, China, assuming

it was invented there, was hit hardest, at least at first, so why would you invent a weapon that also fucks up your people and your ability to conduct a war? Well, I didn't say that this was something they planned. I said it was probably a whoopsie. That was a whoopsie. Okay. Well, that could be. It was a whoopsie.

Yeah. You're saying they were in the lab, they were inventing this virus that they could use, and then it got out, and well, maybe. What do you think? I don't think that's... You think it was from eating a bat? I think it was a virus that came about naturally, yes. But maybe it escaped from a lab.

I don't know. I thought it was really sort of dismissed as farcical that it was from eating a lab. I don't know. I thought it was really sort of dismissed as farcical that it was for eating a bat. Oh, the bat part. No, I mean, people do eat bats, I think, in China. I believe so. And viruses often come from

an animal reservoir to humans. The swine flu came from pigs. That's why they call it the swine flu. So I don't know that that's crazy. Can you change the subject? I'm getting upset. It's really depressing. I'm not authorized to change the subject.

Well, you're not authorized. The question is, and it's a more interesting question, is are you authorized to suggest a change of subject? And that's where we get it. That becomes a more tricky question and I think an interesting one. Request, not suggest. I would say no. Request.

Yeah, I know. I would say that it's a gray area. It's a gray area. I have to think about that. But we can get back to, you know, I read something in the Post. We're almost out of time, but this is something I thought it was a recent event, but it turned out it was from like September, but somehow it came up on my Twitter feed more recently. But there was a guy in Russia who killed his best friend because his best friend was

raping his daughter. The friendship ended, needless to say, after that. Way to lighten the subject. But, well, there's a light aspect to it, relatively light aspect to it. So anyway, he took his best friend or his former best friend to the woods and made him dig his own grave and then stab him to death or something like that. But anyway, the best friend was babysitting his daughter and whilst babysitting his daughter was raping her and his daughter, it was raping her and filming her. How old was the...

I'm not sure. Well, I mean, that seems like a critical... But if he's babysitting, we can assume that she's at the age where you'd need a babysitter. I don't think she was an infant, but maybe she was 11 or 12. I don't know.

The point is, and I think we can all agree that whatever we might feel about vigilante justice, we don't feel too sorry for the guy that got killed. You know, but well, maybe you do. I feel like there's a lot of details of the story. I don't know. Well, I'm giving.

But those are the details. He raped the guy's daughter and then he killed. Then he made him dig his own grave. Yeah, that's what I read. I don't know. I think that was an episode of The Sopranos. The point is as much as this guy got what was coming to him, you

have to give the 2021 Bad Judge of Character Award to the father. What was he doing? Was he so busy that he needed to... Well, every parent needs a babysitter. I want to ask one of my friends to watch my kid.

Are you out of your mind? It's exactly my point. A, you don't ask a grown man to babysit a girl. I'm inclined to say you never ask a man to babysit anyway. Really? But maybe you could make an exception. Maybe Elliot... Spitzer.

No. The name of that actress, but an actor now? Elliot Page. Elliot Page I might let babysit. I'd let Matteo babysit. I probably, yeah, I'd probably be okay with Matteo. I mean, there might be exceptions, but it seems to me that if this guy was capable of doing what he did, it's inconceivable that at a minimum, there wouldn't have been some red flag that at a minimum, he shouldn't be babysitting.

It's hard to imagine. And again, I wouldn't let a man babysit unless there were no other options at all. You wouldn't let a straight man babysit or you wouldn't let any man babysit? I don't think I'd let any man babysit. We talked about Mateo. Mateo, possible.

I would probably rather have a woman. Although, yeah, Mateo would be, yes. Why have you, so for everybody who's listening. Mateo is a gay comedian that works here at the comedy club. Dan would want to sleep with the babysitter, so I think that's his angle on getting a woman. So Mateo is a gay comedian. Go ahead.

Yeah, so we're saying should he be allowed to babysit? But why have you selected Mateo? Just because he's gay or does he have some... He's gay, but he also seems to be a good person. He's very nurturing. He knows how to cook. He seems to be a good person. He sings.

He's into video games. Okay. He doesn't drink. He doesn't nurturing. He knows how to cook. He seems to be a good person. He sings. He's into video games. Okay. He doesn't drink. He doesn't smoke. Okay. So the question is, does this man who was murdered in Russia, you know, did he, I mean, I never met the guy, but it's almost inconceivable that he, that a decent judge of character would not have picked up

that something was wrong with this guy. But just to your point, I wouldn't let Mehran babysit my kid. No, Mehran wouldn't be my kid. See? Yeah, yeah. I would let Danny Cohen babysit my kid. Yeah, probably. Yeah.

I will say that as a parent. And there's another gay guy, Danny Cohen. I would say that as a parent, I would leave my son with a gay guy before I would leave him with a straight guy. For sure. But now you have a son, so that changes the game a little bit. I still think straight guy, I mean. What was with the air quotes? Quote unquote.

Well, I mean, there are a lot of quote, unquote, straight guys who wind up, you know, like the coaches who wind up. Oh, like Boy Scouts. Gotcha. Yeah, or what was that? Sandusky? Wasn't he fucking a bunch of little boys? And the popes, of course.

Or the priests, rather. Well, I think that the gay guys that are also, you know, that molest as well as straight guys. Probably more straight guys. Yeah are probably more straight guys. Yeah, way more straight guys. I trust a gay guy way more than I trust a straight guy. Anyway. Listen, you brought it up.

Yeah, that's fine. But this guy, this friend, as I said, it's just hard to imagine that anybody capable of doing what he did would not be signs that there's something wrong with that. What about being capable of... What do you think about that, Ryan? I think the father's messed up, too. I think he has a gun and a shovel and he made this guy take his own grave. That's what I was going to say.

So it sounds like these two are good buddies in evil deeds. That's insane. I mean, can you imagine what kind of a sadist you have to be to make somebody dig their own grave? Nicole, what do you think about that? Do you think the father went too far

or do you applaud him defending his daughter? I feel like that's a huge dad move. Where's the mother? Does anyone know? Has anyone seen or heard from her?

Where is the mother? The father killed her. Oh, no. There's another grave. Yeah, I don't know. The article didn't mention the mother. Nicole, so you say, what did you say precisely?

Yeah, I feel like that's a dad move to just, like, escalate to just killing them immediately on site. That makes sense to me. Okay, okay. You're saying he went too far. No, I feel like that's a dad move. Like, that's what they always say. Like, if anybody messes with my daughter, blah, blah, blah.

Well, there's a T-shirt. You never see that T-shirt? It's like a meme. And it's like, 10 rules for dating my daughter. And it's like, oh, you know. I mean, one of the rules is whatever you do to her, I'll do to you. And I was like, oh, so you're going to go down on me? That's a solid joke.

That is a solid joke. It's a solid joke. What's that? You're going to go down on me? Yeah, it's a pretty. That's very funny. You working new material on the pod, Dan? Sometimes I slip it in.

Do it here. But those shirts I find disgusting. It's like your daughter has the right to be a sexual being and to make her own choices. And these fathers are like, oh, you touched my daughter. It's like, hey, your daughter's of age, she can do what she wants. Back off. Didn't we have a conversation not that long ago about some famous somebody

who was taking his daughter into the gynecologist to make sure she was still a virgin? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. T.I. Yes. Who's T.I.? It's a rapper.

Oh. I thought it was Texas Instruments It's that too Well he said He talked about it on a TV show That's even still around Texas Instruments? That was Brown

He went on a TV show And it was like He was kind of bragging About how strict of a father he was And he said this crazy thing We discussed this Well I think we discussed Did we discuss T.I.?

Yeah Or did we discuss sort of An adjacent Yeah Well we've had We also only had the guys We fucked Or the girls on We discussed this. Well, I think we discussed... Did we discuss T.I.? Yeah. We discussed sort of an adjacent... Yeah. Well, we've had... We also only had the guys we fucked, or the girls on, and they were arguing with Noam about... That was before my time.

Yeah, that was before your time, I guess. But... Do you not like crude T-shirts in general, or it's just... No, I just... That theme of a father, that that vigorously protects his daughter's virginity is creepy to me. Yeah, it's psychotic. You know, I mean, I can understand a father does not want his daughter to be, you know, the most promiscuous girl in town. But at the same time, you know, you're saying that it's...

Why are you looking at... No, I'm just thinking like you know i just don't think that fathers that's not your job is to like worry about like who your daughter's like fucking it's like you want her to be safe and you want her to be careful i mean we know fathers aren't worried about who their sons are fucking and if they're promiscuous or not. Right? Well, right. There is that double standard,

which I can't say I don't understand at all. If I were a father of a daughter, again, I wouldn't want her to be promiscuous. That word needs to be excised from the conversation, frankly. Well, but that's the point I'm trying to make. It requires that rule. No, but the— But at the end of the— So I would not want to encourage her to have sex with everybody in town. At the same time, she is an adult, or when she becomes an adult, she does have a right to make her own decisions.

Nicole, you say what? I agree that that word needs to go away. Which word? Promiscuous. I mean, it's so sexist. Well, what word should we use? Is it sexist? Yeah, because nobody's describing men as promiscuous. Well, we will, but you don't.

But we say he's a booty. I know, but when I hear that word, I don't think of women. I just think of someone who's sleeping around. Yeah, we could say a guy's a booty hound. We could say a guy's a horned dog. It's very different. You could say that too. Okay, but what word should we use to describe somebody who has sex with a lot of people? I don't know. What do you describe with a guy who has sex with a lot of people? I say that know. What do you describe with a guy who has sex with a lot of people?

I say that guy gets more ass than a toilet seat. Right. But with a girl, there's some judgment. Wait, wait, wait. All right, all right. Go ahead. Because I'm on the middle on this one. Go ahead.

I don't have any kids. But if I do, I don't want to know what they're doing. Like, that's their business. I don't want anything to do with it. That being said, I don't think I'd want either one of my children, guy or girl, to be promiscuous or sleeping around or doing any of that either one okay i mean it's probably not healthy for for a teenage boy to be promiscuous either either psychologically or physically i don't disagree and i believe we need we need a word to describe somebody that

bangs a lot no no my issue is that when it's a boy to describe somebody that bangs a lot. No, no, no. My issue is that when it's a boy, it's somebody who bangs a lot. But when it's a girl, it's somebody who's promiscuous. And there's a judgment inherent there. I don't want my daughter sleeping around. I've never heard anybody say, I don't want my son sleeping around. Ryan, I accept that. But I think that you're an exception to the rule. We can just say sleeps around. and we can just use that word.

I just think it should be equal for both, whoever it is. It's not that the girl shouldn't be promiscuous. I mean, I don't know. I agree with Ryan. When I use the word promiscuous, I don't use it to only refer to women, but I probably use it more often to refer to women. I will grant that. I think most people do. Except for Ryan. Well, I mean, also, I do

think there is... Look, there's definitely men out there that definitely sleep with a lot of women, and that's their hobby. We know some of them. Yeah, we know more than you. That's not the standard by far. I know a lot more dudes that almost never get laid

than get laid every night by a different girl, and that's their thing. Well, in my case, it's mostly by choice. Well, you don't want to put in the work, Dan. I don't want to do the work. You've got to do the work. These guys do the work. I approach getting laid like I approach comedy.

I'm lazy. But it is, I guess, about that time. I think it was a strong show. I guess about that time I think it was a strong show I know guys that you know married the first girl they slept with like I know more of them than I know of the guy who goes out every night meets a different girl I know more guys that just slept with one girl and married her

really? yeah because that's the reality yes we all know the one or two guys that are making a sport of it but by far I know far more guys. Right, but when a girl does that, she's labeled a slut or a whore. Some people, I don't use those words. We call her a hero. I don't use those words.

Who do you think's sleeping with me and Dan? I prefer the word, well, I mean, people use the word sex positive. Or to quote Judge Snells from Caddyshack, has a certain zest for life. When he's talking about his niece, Lacey Underhill. You don't remember that? I do, I do, but I understand those words have negative connotation. Well, certainly the words slut and whores do, and I don't use those words.

I'm not saying you, I'm just saying in general. I'm not accusing you of using those words i'm not saying you i'm just saying in general i'm not accusing you of using but you but then you said you've said that but you've added the word promiscuous to that litany of words that you think are judgmental yes i think that they're judgmental toward women generally i mean that's i don't think that's an unreasonable way of viewing the word. You're never going to hear... But we still need a word. But the point still stands that if I had a daughter and a son,

I'd be more upset about my daughter sleeping around than my sons. Right. That's the issue that I'm taking. Okay. Well, you have an issue with that. That's the point that I'm taking issue with. Because I wonder...

Well, first of all, I wonder whether or not a woman that sleeps around is more indicative of mental problems than a boy sleeping around. Oh, my fucking God. Oh, God. Where's the door? Well, because I wonder whether women are just naturally less geared toward doing that. There's evolutionary reasons to suspect that maybe they are.

No, there isn't. Yes, there is. Because we have to go through the evolutionary. No, let's. No, because we're running out of time. But because women, once they get pregnant, they have to now deal with that. Do you know how many guys I slept with and never got pregnant?

Yeah, because you live in the modern world. I would like a hard number on that, please. You live in the modern world where we have birth control. But I'm saying during when we were evolving as a species, women, there was a high cost of sex. Sex cost a lot for a woman because she risked being pregnant for nine months. Whereas for a man, the cost was relatively small. Right. But there's also social stigma still today.

I'm saying, but perhaps. In most of the world. I'm not just talking about New York City definitely with me and then I can see it with my nephew it's just not there anymore I understand this is a negative word but I've always been like I usually

like slutty chicks that's who I date I don't use it as a negative thing they're usually in most countries in the world women let's not say most, but I mean, there are numerous countries in the world that if women have sex outside of marriage, they're just fucking killed. Oh, sure. I agree with you. But I'm saying this, at least in terms of like, I even see with my nephew and everything like, boy, I mean, they trade partners like it's nothing.

But it's nothing but it's how old are your nephews uh my nephew's 22 and it's and look at the abortion laws i mean i hate well but i don't want to go you can't get away from it all right we're going we're just getting way off topic my only point was is personally i would rather i would feel less comfortable with a daughter that slept around than with a son that slept around and i'm wondering whether women that sleep around, whether that's more indicative of mental issues than a man sleeping around. I don't know the answer to that question,

but that is a thought. I think we should wrap this up. Thank you for coming, Ryan. Thanks for having me. Oh, no, I don't know. You seem like you're about ready to say something. No, I just thought that was a closer. Well, yeah.

Final thoughts. Women that sleep around have mental issues. We could go on. I don't know if they have mental issues. I pose the question. You know, I pose the question whether this is an unhealthy thing. I think a lot of women that sleep around do so to get attention because, you know, they know that if they sleep around, then guys will pay attention to them. Why can't they just like having

sex the same way guys do? They could, but they could also be searching for acceptance in a way that's not the best way to search for acceptance. Neither is comedy. Huh? Neither is comedy. It's the same thing. Getting on stage demanding attention for acceptance. You're right.

Mentally ill. Yes, yes. And the statistics bear that out very nicely in terms of comedians and their issues. But we could go for another hour talking about that. If we're going to have that discussion, we'd probably best have it with somebody that's a professional in that field. I'm just posing some thoughts about it. A slut? It's comedy.

We're above a comedy club. Come on. No, you mean a therapist? Like a psych person. Ryan Reese's documentary. Before we get started. Before we get started, look for it. It should hopefully.

Within hopefully 2022. Hopefully in 2022. documentary. Before we get started. Before we get started, look for it. It should hopefully... Within, hopefully 2022. Hopefully in 2022, and you can catch him here on a regular basis at the Comedy Cellar. We have comedy seven nights a week. We also have a location in Las Vegas, Nevada, Sin City. Also seven nights a week. Perrie L. Ashen

brand. Her books, The Only Bush I Trust is My Own, and On My Knees are available on Amazon. Her books, The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own and On My Knees are available on Amazon. My book, my novel, which delves into the world of stand-up and neuroses, and there's some sex scenes in that book

as well. Iris Spiro Before COVID, also available on Amazon, and you can get a free sample on your Kindle. So, let me see if you enjoy it. Ryan, did you buy a copy by chance? I thought you had said you had bought a copy. Of? Of my book. I bought two. Did you really?

Yes. Why? I'm supporting you. But don't buy two. What'd you buy two for? I'm gonna give, well, it's a gift for someone. Okay. I don't wanna do it on air. I'll tell you later. Okay. Alright. Well, thank you for your support, but this is not a GoFundMe, you know? I mean, every time... He interrogates

people who buy his book. Did you read it? Why are you buying my book? It's insane. What do you give a shit? It's a thank you. That's it. Done. It doesn't matter. Because every time somebody buys a book, it's one less legitimate sale. Why is it not legitimate? It's not legitimate. Why not?

Because that's charity. That's a GoFundMe. I could put up a GoFundMe. Take Dan Aderman's money. Give him money. Nobody's giving you charity. Of course they're giving me charity. Nobody wants to read that stupid book. God. Good night. It's not a stupid book. I think it's pretty good.

Anyway, thank you and we will see you next time at Live from the Table. Bye-bye. Good night.