The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - The Slap: Chris Rock and Will Smith

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

Dan Naturman and Periel Aschenbrand are joined by comedian Mia Jackson and Juanita Dworman to discuss the slap heard around the world.  Mia Jackson is a Georgia native now living in New York.  Her first half hour special is available on Epix and her second half hour special is on Comedy Central. She is a regular at The Comedy Cellar. 

This is Live from the Table, recorded at the world-famous Comedy Cellar, coming at you on SiriusXM 99 Raw Dog and on the Laugh Button Podcast Network. Dan Natterman here. Noam Dorman once again will not be joining us. He is around the corner doing a debate on the war in Ukraine. There are debates here at the Comedy Cellar from time to time. Noam is a political-oriented person. He is over at the debate.

He will not be joining us. We have, however, Periel Ashenbrand with us. Periel, how do you do? Periel is our producer. She also is on air. And we've discussed how that evolved in previous episodes. We have Mia Jackson. Mia Jackson is a comedy seller,

regular, a Georgia native, now living in New York City. Mia's first half-hour special available on Epix and her second half-hour special on Comedy Central. We also have, this is interesting,

we have Noam Dorman's wife who asked if she could come and guest co-host, I guess. Yeah, sure. However you want to classify her. Juanita Dorman is here. Hello, everyone. Juanita has a long history at the Comedy Cellar.

She was a waitress here, a manager. She married the owner's son, who is now the owner, with whom she has three children. Welcome, Juanita, to our program. Thank you for having me. And Juanita used to live in this studio, because this studio is Noam... This studio used to be our old living room. Now, you lived here with Noam?

Yeah, and my first son, Nicholas. Okay. Well, it's a little bit different now, obviously. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay. But there was plenty of debating and talking going on then, but nobody was listening. Even back then. What are we going to talk about this week? Well, I think it's obvious what we're going to talk about this week.

It's a topic so huge that it knocked the war in Ukraine off the front page. The slap heard around the world as it has been called. Oscar night. I don't have to review what happened because everybody knows what happened. The latest, I guess, is that Will Smith apologized via Instagram

saying that this is not the man he wants to be and he apologizes to Chris. So I guess that's what we'll talk about at least if not for the entire podcast are we starting with the apology? no I'm just trying to keep everybody up to date on the latest

and the latest is that Will Smith apologized I mean I think that happened yesterday but I don't know if there's any is there anything new? any new developments? I don't think so well Jada says it's a time for healing and she's ready for it. She did that way before the Oscars, but you know.

There was an article today that said they did ask him to leave. That's what the Academy said. They asked Will and he just didn't leave? Yeah, they said he refused. That's the newest thing that I saw. Oh, really? Yeah. What does that mean, asked him to leave? And he refused? That's what newest thing that I saw. Oh, really? Yeah. What does that mean? Asked him to leave. And he refused? That's what the article said.

Yeah. That's interesting. That's the latest thing that I read. That's like somebody's stealing something from the store and they're like, could you please stop stealing? And they're like, no. That's not the same thing. What do you mean, asked him to leave? Kick him the fuck out.

Asked him to leave? Who knows? They out. Well, there's ask him to leave. Who knows? They might have said, look, Will, we think, I mean, we think it might be better if you left. And Will might have said, no, I don't feel like leaving. They said, okay. I mean, you know, I don't know how forcefully they asked him to leave. Right.

That's what I'm saying. They should have kicked him out. Yeah. They also acknowledged that they were like, we didn't handle this the right way. That's what I'd scammed over in the article. There were things they could have done better. I see a cover up here. Well, the comedy community and perhaps most people in general are on the side

of Chris Rock saying that Will Smith, whatever Chris Rock, however tasteless the joke arguably was, and that's another question, Will Smith went much, much too far. Even Will Smith is on the side of Chris Rock if you believe that his apology is sincere. However, not everybody is on the side of Chris Rock. Tiffany Haddish said that consequences, and there are consequences.

I forgot the word she used, but she implied that Will Smith was in the right. Others that you see on Twitter have made similar statements, some bringing up the need to protect black women who are so often not protected. I've seen that said. Is there anybody here of that mind? Well, I am a black woman, and for the people who are listening, I'm a black lady.

You know what? So I'll say this. One, overall, I don't really have anything of value to add i don't think just in general because i feel like a lot of stuff has already been said but i will say um yeah i'm i'm definitely on the side of of chris rock but i also i understand the sentiment behind what people are saying like oh that was so nice that he protected his wife because of you know how um you know how black women are treated in america and my dad is the type of person who would go punch somebody on my behalf my sister's behalf my mom like i know that's so you know so i so for me i grew up with you know know, being protected by my dad, you know, and just, you know, different men in my life and my family and things like that.

But I do overall get why people are like, oh, that was a nice thing for him to have done. Like, I know where it comes from, but I don't think that was the way to do it, is what I'm saying. So, I feel like it just could have, the whole thing is just a disaster. But like I said, I understand the sentiment, but he was wrong, though.

Well, we could argue whether it's ever justified to hit somebody for a joke, and we could argue whether it was justified for this particular joke. I mean, had he said something, were she suffering from cancer and this was chemotherapy related, I think he would have gotten a lot more sympathy.

No. I disagree. You don't think he would have gotten more sympathy? No, it's not. Juanita has been chomping at the bit there. Okay, Juanita,

if you're chomping. We have had it. Listen, I'm going to break it down. I don't need no man to punch somebody for me. If somebody says something, I'm going to punch you down. I don't need no man to punch somebody for me. If somebody says something, I'm going to punch you my damn self. That's number one. Number two, I'm not going to punch somebody over something they said.

Okay? I mean, I was brought up that we, you know, violence is only when you're trying to protect yourself. Yeah. Okay? Words, I mean, he took it too far. He took it too far. And I think apology a mean, he took it too far. He took it too far. And I think apology a day later was a little too late.

It feels like it was coerced by his, whomever his posse is. And then the next day after that, Jada wrote something. But you know what? I'm going to buy the initial things that they wrote on Instagram before he sent that apology. He wrote something like, hey, Jada and I got all dressed up to start chaos. It was something in that respect. He wrote that on Instagram. This was after the slap.

Right after the slap. They're like taking photos in this green room or something. And then he wrote like, oh, he wrote something along the lines like, oh, you know, Philly and Baltimore, you know, you can't bring us nowhere. That's where him and Jada are from. First of all, all this is street talk.

This is not new to me. I come from that environment. You know what I mean? So, and the way that he even, listen, if he had got up there and slapped Chris, just walk back to his seat, I thought it was like a skit. I mean, especially the way that he slapped him.

That's not like how you throw around. That was like a skit. I mean, especially the way that he slapped him. That's not like how you throw around. That was like some pussy ass, I have been in the movies a long time slap. You know what I mean? Well, look, any slap, even if it's not a hard slap, is very significant. When you put your hand on another person publicly,

especially a slap, whether or not it's hard or soft, you're making a very profound statement. You're basically saying you're a punk. He absolutely did. Then when he got to his seat and was like, oh, you know, keep my woman's name. That was so street.

It was so like, it was such a disappointment to me. You know why? Because I'm big fans of Jada and Will. I've watched every Red Talk episode because I feel like I can relate to them in a sense. I grew up in the same type of background that they have. And when this all went down, I was like, no. Do you think that Chris even knew that Jada had a medical problem

or thought that this was just a hairstyle that she had, you know? I don't think he knew. I don't think he knew. I don't think so. I don't know Chris personally, but I know a lot of people who know him very well. And by all accounts, he's super kind and would never intentionally like say something

about somebody who was sick. I don't even know if she is sick. I want to say this though. Yeah, I mean, alopecia is a condition. I don't know. I don't know if she, does she have alopecia? Yeah, she does. She's talked about it. She does. She has alopecia. All right, Mazel Tov. So you have fucking alopecia is a condition. I don't know. I don't know if she, does she have alopecia? Yeah. She's talked about it.

She does. She has alopecia. All right, Mazel Tov. So you have fucking alopecia. Okay. It's not a serious medical. Even if it is,

I have family members who have this same thing. You take some medication, your hair grows back. Well, I don't, it's not, you know, I mean,

it's not that serious. She's not dying from alopecia. Okay. I think that it might be a medical, a serious medical condition. It is not a serious. She's not dying from alopecia. Okay? I think that it might be a medical, a serious medical condition. It is not a serious medical condition. But even if it is, I want to say that

people make jokes about 9-11. You make jokes about the Holocaust. Like alopecia is not fucking off the table to make jokes about. You didn't like that joke. That's your business. He did not make jokes about alopecia is not fucking off the table to make jokes about. You didn't like that joke. That's your business. He did not make jokes about alopecia. Whatever it was, like you have no right to get up and fucking hit Chris Rock because you didn't like what he said.

It's outrageous. Like at what point is somebody allowed to go to a stage and hit a comedian because they made a joke that you didn't like like that is insane yes it's outrageous it is and um like i said i just uh there have been so many takes on all of it and you know like i said again i feel like i really am like i don't know what else i can say that hasn't already been said. But I will say just for the overall thing to me that was extra disappointing in general was like there were so many things involving like, you know, there was a black producer. There were, you know, two of the three co-hosts were black women. There were black writers on the staff and, you know, Questlove winning an Oscar and all this stuff. And I was like, to to me like it just i

all of is wrong all of it's just a big fucking mess but i just really hate that it kind of not kind of it did it just overshadow all these other cool things that were like big moments you know so that that's where and that's really selfish too that he did that to like overshadow these important accomplishments that people have worked so fucking hard to achieve. Like, how dare you do that? I think in the moment he wasn't thinking. Well, who knows what he was thinking?

I mean, people say he laughed at the joke initially. He did. I saw. And the people have speculated that he took one look at Jada rolling her eyes and said, oh, I better do something or this this this chick is going to be upset at me because I laughed at the joke. Right. So in order to make up for that, you know, I don't know what's going through his mind. There is a time and a place for this kind of thing.

I mean, he has known Chris Rock a long time. They've done other things together. Jada's done things with Chris Rock. They did that Madagascar. They know each other. Okay. Well, that may be just it. They may done other things together. Jade has done things with Chris Rock. They did that Madness Gas Guard. They know each other. Okay? Well, that may be just it. They may not like each other. I don't know what history they have together. I don't think they don't like each other, but, you know, out of respect, he could have pulled Chris Rock

to the side afterwards and said, yo, man, why, you know, like, why are you disrespecting him? Well, or he could have done it during, now, he didn't know he was going to win, but, you know, I'm sure he knew he'd have ample opportunity to have a microphone and to discuss this. Well, even if he got on stage and grabbed the mic and spoke out, it's very different than getting on stage and hitting someone.

Like, you assaulted someone. I agree with you too, Anita. I think, like, Jada Pinkett Smith does not need anybody to fucking defend her. Like, she's fine. She can stick up for herself. Also, people are making a lot of the fact that Chris Rock is a... He's not quite as small as I am, but he is not the biggest guy in the world.

He's a fairly slight guy, I guess, and Will's a lot bigger. And people have made the point over and over on social media that if this had been The Rock that made that joke, he wouldn't have slapped her, which I think is likely true,

but that's sort of how the world works. That's why we're not in Russia right now. I'm so happy you're bringing this up. Because we know that they could inflict damage. I mean, people don't generally pick fights with people that can destroy them. You need to read someone's... I've learned at an early age

to read someone's body language. Read the situation around me. If you watch... I mean, I watched that at least three times and in slow motion because I couldn't believe that really happened. But if you look at Will's body language, he gets on stage with his head down walking

as if I know I'm about to do something. This was calculated. Well, obviously when he walked up on stage, he had made the decision. It's not like he, like if you're, when you're angry, you rush and things happen quickly. You rush rush the stage and hit him you know he walked calmly over to chris rock had his head down like i know i'm about to do something i'm not supposed to do smacks him then looks up at chris like are you gonna do something back and then just walks away

this is a total calculated act. Well, I don't think anyone is debating that he knew what he was about to do. But people are saying he did it out of anger, you know, kind of like, you know, he was so kind of distraught that he didn't know what he was doing. Bullshit. Well, look, he

could have been angry and at the same time calculated. I don't think the two of them usually exclusive. Okay, well, control yourself. Fine. We're all in agreement there. But that's where the size comes in. We don't think the two are mutually exclusive. Fine. We're all in agreement there. But that's where the size comes in. We're all in agreement there. Now we've moved on to the issue of Chris Rock's size and whether he would have ever done this to somebody who he thought might strike back.

This is the truth. Size doesn't matter, okay? The truth is that he knows Chris. He knows Chris is not an aggressive person like that. He knows that Chris would have never... Chris aggressive person like that. He knows that Chris would have never. Chris is not like that. He knows that. Would he have done that to Jerry Seinfeld?

Well, Jerry Seinfeld is also not a physical person, but he's a white person. So that's another. There's also that. Yeah. I mean, would he have done this to a white person? And if not, why not? Let me see. Well, I feel like I'm answering all the black questions.

No, but no, I know. Well, I could. First of all, you sized people up. He sized him up, OK, before he did this. Right. Yeah. No, no. Yeah.

People know who they can, you know, people know who can pick on. What you can get away with. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really surprised that means that they asked him to leave and he didn't leave. Well, we get to that later. I want to address the issue of whether he would have done this to a white comedian. Jerry Seinfeld being a good person to pick.

Because Jerry Seinfeld is another person that you don't have to worry about hitting you back, probably. It's hard to imagine Jerry Seinfeld hitting you back. And certainly hard to imagine Jerry Seinfeld hitting you back effectively. I don't think that's the right question. I think, would he have done that to Joe Rogan? We know the answer is that's why it's the right question because we know he probably

wouldn't have. The question is, let's talk about the racial aspect of it. Would he have done this to a white comic of a similar size? I think he would have. Honestly, I think he would have okay honestly i think he would have my gut my gut tells me he would not have no that's what my gut tells me yeah and i also think that if it had been a white person i do think somebody would have intervened too like

for sure like i think that somebody from somebody in that room would have been like oh we've got to send someone up well that's that's you, to stop. Well, that's perhaps why, my gut tells me he wouldn't have hit a white comic, and for the following reasons. Number one, he might have felt the repercussions would have been greater. That he was taking it to a level that, rightly or wrongly, he might have felt

that to hit a white man would have been, would have had greater repercussions. Which is so disgusting. That's so sad. I don't know if that's true. That's a supposition. No, no, I know. It's disgusting.

Number two, he might have... I think sometimes people are just... When it's your own community, you feel more betrayed, and it cuts deeper. When it's somebody who's outside your community, you're not close to, and I'm assuming he has no relationship

with Seinfeld, and you're not close to. And I'm assuming he has no relationship with Seinfeld. And you're like, whatever. You know, I don't know. I think you make a valid point. If it's someone in your own community, your brotherhood, you feel a little more. But, I mean, we're talking about a G.I. Jane joke. This was not that.

Yeah, the joke was. I mean, when I was like, who wrote that day-to-day-ass reference? Like, I mean, I had to go look. I was like, what year did that movie come out? Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know how old you are, but when you're, I'm not going to ask. No, I'm grown. I remember when it came out. I think that this is an interesting point, too, because people, like somebody said to me,

yeah, what the fuck is he making a joke about a 25 year old movie. I said you know Chris is so old and he's not much older than me. We're so old that we forget how long ago

this shit was. And that movie was about 20 years ago. It was 25 years ago. But the point is when you're a certain age it goes so time goes so quickly and things

pass that you forget that these dated references are dated. Right. And I do that too sometimes on stage. I'll throw out a reference. Well, I threw out a Hogan's Heroes reference, which is a lot more extreme. But you do forget how old you are and you forget that to a young person, 25 years is a long time. You think Chris dated himself? You mean, I mean, like, Jaden...

I think Chris in his mind didn't realize that half the audience, for half the audience, he might as well have said Mrs. Minivere, you know, or one of those movies. Who wrote the joke? That's what I'm curious about. I think it was just off the cuff.

It might have been off the cuff. People keep saying, I mean, the internet, you know, people are like, no, it was, you know, it was a staff joke. It was somebody wrote it. And I'm like, who? I don't know. I think it was off the cuff. First of all, Jada looked amazing and beautiful, even with that bald head. Well, you know, that's another point that's been made is that, is it an insult to compare somebody to G.I. Jane?

No, because Demi Moore was just beautiful as well. Yeah. But I also think that for, you know, even though it not showing up to that kind of an event with a shaved head as her daughter did imagining in support of her that is a statement so the fact that it attracts attention shave their head but it's total i almost did it i mean i had a crew cut for i know but it's a thing like people like, oh shit, that girl has a shaved head. With a guy, nobody even bats an eye when they see it. So it's not that.

I think it's a little less now. It's more fashionable to have. But it's still a statement, right? Yeah. Well, I guess so. Yeah. I mean, it's a bold look for a woman. Yeah, it's bold.

It's bold. And so it's not that shocking that it would attract attention, right? Right. And from Jada. Jada's bold and outspoken. Right. What would you say if I was, in general, comics picking on women in the audience? As a general, this is a different context.

It's people that kind of all know each other. But as a general matter, if I were to make a comment about a woman being heavy or being tall or being short or anything, what would you say about that? Would you say that that was appropriate? I think that in general, I think talking about somebody's appearance is not that interesting or compelling. And, you know, making like a fat joke about somebody in the audience is, I think, in really bad taste. I would never do that. But, um,

so yeah, it wasn't the greatest joke, but like that, you know, again, but there's a, there's a difference because he was comparing it to a woman that one could argue looked very attractive.

Sure. So I'm just making a separate point that is going after a woman's looks. No, it's not as a general matter, something that a comic should never do. I don't know if it's never do,'s looks no it's not as a general matter something that a comic should never do i don't know if it's never do but i think it's like if that's what you have to resort to like you should have better material i think it just depends i think it'd be like i mean i i personally i mean i mean i don't i'm not gonna trash anybody's appearance in the audience or anything. But if someone says something to me,

then I feel pretty good about being like, all right, I'm going to say something very accurate and specific. But I'm not just going to start like that. Right, that makes sense. But typically at these events, they roast each other. Everybody, yeah, they roast people all the time. It's a different environment. What if you had heard Dan, you know Dan Aderman,

there was a woman in the front row and her teeth were all fucked up and she said, hey, you got summer teeth. Dan Aderman said, you got summer teeth. Summer here, summer there. And I certainly didn't write. I'd be like, she's on meth. And the boyfriend smacked me. Would you rush to my defense?

Yes. Or would you say, maybe they shouldn't have smacked Dan. No, she shouldn't have sat in the front row. With her summer teeth. You don't sit in the front row with summer teeth. You don't have all your teeth. You sit in the back. She had all her teeth.

They were just not crooked. If your teeth are. Summer teeth. If you have summer teeth. We're going to get canceled. You sit in the you have summer teeth. We're going to get canceled. Sit in the back in the dark. We're going to get canceled. And you don't sip from your drink.

I would have... If I had heard that a comic... Say that first. If I heard a story about a comic that made fun of a woman in the front of his teeth and got smacked, I would say, what a dummy for going there. I wouldn't have defended the SmackDown, but I would have said this is really an idiot. Oh, come on.

First of all, you shouldn't have got hit. And in a comedy club, it's very different. I understand, but we're changing the topic just a little bit because I think it's a conversation that might be of some interest to people is as a comedian, to make fun of a woman's looks is just something I don't know that I would ever go there. Unless it was, if she was wearing a weird dress, something that didn't have to do with a permanent physical, you know, condition.

The question is, do comedians do that? I've been around a long time. I've seen them do that. Generally speaking, we don't go after female appearance. I've seen when they're out of material and they're looking for stuff, they'll look for anything to say. I've seen comedians do that. Does that give the right for someone to get up and smack them? Typically not a comedian's, a female's

appearance. That's almost never done I didn't know that was a rule, Dan. It's not a rule. It's just prudence. Prudence dictates you don't want to get your ass whooped. I'm just saying. I didn't know that was a rule. There's no rule. The rule is what do you think the audience will accept? What will get you laughed? And what will get you laughed and what will get you groaned

and what might might possibly get you hit cause in comedy everything's on the table I've heard bad jokes

do you remember when Disney had that alligator I forget which comedian yes Amaril oh god this is a terrible

classic story I thought oh my god this is the day after it hit the news and he joked about this alligator eating this baby. Do you remember that? Yes, I remember.

What was the joke? I forgot the joke, but it was a joke about an alligator that I guess killed a two-year-old. I mean, it's terrible, but no one jumped on the stage to smack him. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm sure. But I'm just saying, if you go downstairs and you watch shows, you could probably go years without seeing a male comedian or a female comedian making fun of a female comedian's physical appearance. It's just something. A female audience member.

A female audience's, I'm sorry, appearance. It's just something. You only make fun of the males? Is that what you're saying? I typically don't, but yes, people do make fun of the males? Is that what you're saying? I typically don't, but yes, people are more likely to make fun of a male as a parent. I have called out men that are bald because I have a joke about being bald, ironically. Don't use it on Jada. And I will, in a lighthearted way, say, you know, I heard they're going to cure baldness.

Sir, I'm not looking at you necessarily, but I heard they're going to cure. And then I go into my joke about curing baldness. But I must say that I don't know if I want to do that anymore because it's now in my head, you know. Well, did you know that Will Smith made a joke about baldness on the Arsenio Show? Yeah, years ago I saw that clip. And it didn't go over well either. But, you know, male baldness and female baldness are obviously different. For a female, it can be devastating.

If it's not an on-purpose thing and she is losing her hair, it certainly can be devastating. Okay, so it's devastating. The Holocaust was devastating. Also, Larry David opened up Saturday Night Live with a joke about it. Yeah, I'm just saying that I'm just saying that getting my ass whooped is something that has crossed my mind. And I don't want to

be rude, and I also don't want to hurt people. So anyway, the point has been made that now it's open season on comics. I've seen this point made. I haven't made it. But the point has been made that this is a bad precedent. Do you feel more vulnerable? We only have one comic here tonight. Besides me. I haven't made it, but the point has been made that this is a bad precedent. Do you feel more vulnerable? We only have one comic here tonight, besides

me. I don't feel vulnerable. What am I? Oh, I forgot. Periel does do comedy. Okay, so to our comedians, Periel, who's a relatively new comic, but a comic nonetheless, and to Mia, do you feel that this endangers to let him get away with this, to not

have arrested him or at least thrown him out, it puts comics in greater danger. Well, let me just say this. Okay. Now, I have, when I saw it initially, I was like, oh, no, like this might be something that people will feel free to do. But then the more I thought about it, I was like, no, I think people in real life who are regular people who are not millionaires, because that's the other thing I've been saying about all of this is where I'm like, all this shit that they did, that's above my pay grade. I don't really have any. That's why I don't really have a lot to say about it, because I'm like, that's rich people shit. I'm not a rich person, but I do know a regular person is just sitting in an audience that's making regular money.

They know that the threat of getting their ass whooped is real. So I'm like, I don't think anybody in the audience that's making regular money they know that the threat of getting their ass whipped is real so I'm like I don't think anybody in the audience I mean I think they might that's interesting they might feel like it but I'm like you're not really gonna come up here on stage because I'm six feet tall and I even though I don't fight I'm like I'll punch a bitch in the face like I don't I don't want to do it but I don't think it's gonna cause a rash of people to start coming on stage I mean I think and people are always gonna heckle but I don't think it's going to cause a rash of people to start coming on stage. I mean, I think people are always going to heckle, but I don't think they're going to look at Will Smith and be like, oh, now I can can do that thing, too. I just don't think that's going to happen.

I just I don't think I think regular people are like, Perry, I can see you outside. I think you made a valid point. He's rich and he's privileged. I mean, even when you walked in and said, hey, they asked him to leave and he was like, no, I'm not leaving. Only some rich, privileged black man is going to be like, no, what you going to do? Or rich, privileged people, period. Yeah, period. Because the rich people problems are just so different.

It's not. Yeah. Somebody said it was white privilege. Well, somebody I was I don't remember who made the joke, but somebody said it was what Will Smith was having white privilege. Well, I mean, the truth is I have heard stories of comedians that have been assaulted very rarely. And every, I don't know how many years I'll hear a story of this comedian got hit. I did see a comedian here, right here at the Comedy Cellar, wasn't hit, but was threatened. I think Kurt Metzger might have been either hit or threatened.

It does happen, but I don't think that this is going to make it happen more. I don't think we're going to look at, oh, now we can hit people now. No, I don't know. I don't see that connection. In all the years that I've been doing stand-up, I've had one person walk on a stage while I was performing, and I thought about this in the past couple of days. It was a college show, And I remember just standing there.

And the kid wasn't even there the whole time. So it wasn't like I had been messing with anybody or saying anything. But he's in the back of the room. And he's just kind of standing there and nodding his head to the side. And I could see him. And I was like, what is this person doing? And then I started to see them approaching the stage. And in my head, I'm like like this kid isn't really gonna walk

on stage while i'm here but as soon as he got closer like my insides i did i definitely started going like oh boy i gotta start i gotta i might have to fight this child like i might have to i was like i might have to fight somebody's kid because i don't know what this kid is doing and so um and my boyfriend happened to be on the stage and he was off to the side and he kept we both kept giving each other the eye like what do what do we, like, what do we, what do we do right here? And then like the kid keeps coming, coming and he gets this close in front of like walks while I'm performing. And then I was like, yo, like what is going on? And he walks off the stage, comes back again and walks behind me. And I was like, is somebody going to get this kid? I said,

because I said, if nobody from this school, if there's no security, I'm like is somebody going to get this kid I said because I said if nobody from this school if there's no security I'm like if there's no student advisor I'm like somebody that works with if you don't get this kid and he touches me I'm just gonna tell you right now I'm like this isn't going to be good for any of us but in my head a bunch of things were going through my head because I was like man like if this does not go well then these people are going to report me you know to my agency they're going to be like she fought a child you know it's gonna be all these different but a bunch of stuff is going through your head you're like who's here protecting who's yeah and then finally when he got ready to come back a third time then the person that worked at the college

was like no no no you I could see them like you can't you can't go back up there and I'm like you shouldn't have been able to do it in the first place but i mean but but in literally in all the years i've been doing stand-up that's the only time that that's ever happened hey thanks all right okay all right okay i'm sorry i didn't mean to be disgusted immediately okay i'm sorry it's just hot and i got damp titties, so that's... Can you tell I'm a gigantic black lady? Can you tell? The people are, oh, wow, just fucking not even nice about it.

Oh, yeah, bitch. You're a giant ass bitch. Like, that's what you... No, it's fine, because I did ask the question. I am a very giant lady. I'm six feet tall, and I have a boyfriend who's 6'4". And okay, there you go. Look at you being impressed about a man

you don't even know. I like it. You could be the worst person, but you just celebrating his height. I like it. No, no, he's fine. No, he's a solid person. But this is what I have to deal with though.

Because I am a tall woman, I don't have height privilege. So like smaller women, your life is good. Like, cause I can't, I can't play fight with this man. I can't wrestle with him. Like, I don't think you understand if I walk down the hall with a pillow, I'm a legitimate threat. Okay?

Cause this is the size I always am so i don't know you know i think i'm being all cute like let's play and he's like stand down bitch it's gonna be a pillow fight not a domestic dispute what are you doing so that's and then like i don't i don't know what it's like to ever be the little spoon. Cause I'm just too damn big for it. So when we cuddle, we don't spoon, we knife. So we're very much like this the whole time. And he's a very skinny uncomfortable as a person so he is it's very hard to love uh and and this this is another like it doesn't matter if a man is shorter or taller than me they get very intimidated okay because i dated somebody who was taller than him who just told me one day, he was like, I'm going to be straight up. If we get into a scuffle and the cops come,

they're going to look at you and they're going to say this is fair. I was like, wow. Like, bitch, have you been planning to fight me? Like, how long have you been thinking about this? Because this is very upsetting. And my height also is making people think I have a lot of authority so people talk to me a lot I get a lot of people asking me questions every day and I think it's because I'm

from the south and I also have a welcoming bosom so people just feel good I get a lot of sideways hugs you know like a lot of a lot of sideways hugs, you know, like a lot of that because people want to be cradled. So it makes sense. I get it. But a lot of people ask me for directions at least once a day. Somebody's asking me and I'm like, you shouldn't trust me because I can see two blocks over. OK, like don't don't rely on me because I will point you in the wrong direction on purpose. But one day, so I am leaving nordstrom rack okay i got a bunch of bags in my hand this woman runs up to me off the street and she goes why is the train down i said i i don't i don't i don't know i've been inside and not underground so why are you asking me because I don't know and also I'm not wearing

a uniform okay like there's there's that and so then I just had this moment where I had to look at myself and I was like oh no I have a transit informational shaped body you're like, oh, oh my God. Oh, oh my God. I, I am shaped like a bitch that knows train schedules and the maintenance of the schedules. And I thought my titties were better than that. And they're not, I have trained titties, so. I just accepted that about myself. And then she wouldn't leave you, though. Like, she would not move. Like, so I'm trying to move, and she's still just kind of standing there. And I'm like, okay, I said, are you going inside or not?

And she goes, oh, I'm going in. I said, well, then you need to stand clear of the closing doors. So I went. And she goes, oh, I'm going in. I said, well, then you need to stand clear of the closing doors. And I will say this, like this, the cell was probably the only place where I feel like I'd be fine because other clubs don't care at all. Nobody has security except for the cellar. Yeah. I mean, you perform at other clubs and literally anything can happen. I mean, literally anything, and you're just fucked.

But even then, it usually doesn't. But it has. Can you imagine how Chris felt on the stage? He's like, okay, well, he walked up here and you actually hear him go, uh-oh. He didn't know what to expect. I don't think he thought, he didn't see that coming. I don't think he thought, he didn't see that coming.

I don't think he saw that coming, but when it happened, I'm pretty sure he felt like somebody out there is going to protect me. This is the Academy Awards. And they did nothing. Let this man sit through the entire show. I don't think, I mean, they certainly didn't. This is Will Smith. This is a huge Hollywood star. The fact that he went up on stage, what are you going to do, tackle him?

You don't even know what he's about to do. They probably thought these are two old friends and he's just going to go, he's just going to come up to Chris and go, dude, you're out of line or whatever. Or they were going to do some skit together. It's crazy. Nobody anticipated that. Like I said, a bunch of stuff will go through your head in that moment. But Chris probably thought, all right, I mean, it's Will Smith.

He's not going to hit me. Yeah, I's Will Smith. He's not going to hit me. I know this guy. He's not going to hit me. Unless there's some background shit. I know that they've had, I think, issues in the past because, well, Chris did make a joke about Jade about four years ago or something. It was the 2016 Oscars. Yeah, or six years ago. So maybe

they have had words. I don't know what their relationship is. Another aspect of this that I want to get to and then I think maybe we've hit every point is recently, well it's all been recently, Jim Carrey said expressed disgust that people

gave Will a standing ovation when he won the Oscar. At a minimum they should not have given him a standing ovation. They should have expressed some degree of disapproval. And it seemed like they did the opposite. They were on his side and they gave him a standing ovation. We're talking about Hollywood here.

Do you agree with Jim Carrey? Yes, absolutely. 100%. Look at Hollywood. They protected pedophilia for all these years. They protected Harvey Weinstein. They protected pedophilia for all these years. They protected Harvey Weinstein. They protected Cosby. Come on. But now we're dealing with two huge stars.

So, you know, they have to take sides one way or the other. And they appeared to take the side of Will. I mean, yeah, they've taken the side of everybody else. I mean, so I'm not surprised that there was a standing ovation. Yeah, because it's like all these other people, what, Roman Polanski has an Oscar, you know, Woody Allen, all these other people, they're not. They don't actually care.

Has anybody seen that? Yeah, they don't care. The people in the audience are their peers. You know what I mean? They're other people who are supposed to have your back. Well, but they're Chris's peers and they're Will's peers. That's right.

And that's what's so disturbing is when they got up. I was disappointed at that in many ways because in Hollywood, I kind of feel like nobody has an opinion. They just go with

what they think everybody else is doing, which is shitty. You know what I mean? Yeah. They want to keep working whatever it is. They don't want to upset anybody

and they just go with the flow. It's like nobody has the courage to stand up for what's right. What should the Academy have? They should have escorted him out. Yes. And if necessary, with security? Yes. Yes.

A hundred percent. They should have stopped the whole, I mean, like as soon as it happened, they should have just cut the feed. Like they should have just been like, you put up one of those Oscars, we'll be back in a minute. You do something. There's so many ways. I own a comedy club. I would have walked over. I want to tell you exactly what I would have done. I would have had someone walk over and say,

Mr. Smith, we need to take you to the back to have a conversation with you. Him first, and then everyone else after. Say, listen, we can't allow you to return back into that room because of A, B, C, and D. They could have said, look, if you win an Oscar, Baldy, I mean your wife, can

receive it for you. Yeah. Right, that's a great question. We'll have someone else receive it for you. And they didn't do that. I mean, what do you mean refuse? That's a great question, though. Juanita, what would you do if that happened in the club?

We have shows all the time. We try not to disrupt the show. And I get them trying not to disrupt the show. It's live. You know what I mean? I wouldn't have said, listen, hey, we're throwing you out. I would have said, listen, we need to come to the back. We need to have a talk with you.

And at that moment, when he's not in front of everyone, I would have said, listen, we can't allow you back in here because of whatever. Well, what if now, of course, we do have stars of that stature that come here to the Comedy Cellar. Say Chris Rock is on stage. Will Smith is in the audience. Will smacks Chris Rock. Yeah.

Here at the Comedy Cellar. Yeah. She just said that's what you would have done. Absolutely. That's what I would have done. But, you know, that didn't happen at the Academy Awards. I mean, Denzel Washington, all these other actors went over to talk to Will. And that was strange to me. I mean, the Academy Awards is not paying them to be security there. You know, they

should have had someone walk over to him, say, Listen, I need you to come to the back so we can have a quick talk. You know, you don't want to upset him any further. Obviously, he was upset, he was enraged, whatever it is. And then while he's out of the room say, listen, we can't let you back in there. We do that all the time. It's like 101. Yeah, it really is. It's pretty standard operating procedure. The idea of leading, the idea of if

it had come to police or some sort of security force, forcing Will out of the auditorium. The idea of a black man being No, I don't think they should have done that. Well, but that might have been in their minds that this might be what it comes to.

Like I said, it could have just been a cut the feed so we can address this. Because again, rich people should. But if Will had refused to leave the room, as I guess he did according to the latest... That's what the article says. Should they have physically removed him or the idea of physically removing a black icon from the room, as I guess he did, according to the latest... That's what the article says. Should they have physically removed him? Or the idea of physically removing a black icon

from the room would have been... No, it could have just been a... Yes, get him the fuck out of there. No, you're not going to physically remove anyone. You just assaulted somebody. Well, Anita, if you're not going to physically remove him, then we're back to square one, because apparently they asked him. I'm telling you, 99%

of the time, what I first said works. Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen. Listen, we're going to have a quick talk. Your family's still sitting there. And you just get them out one at a time. It's like, listen, this is what. Listen, even worse, he posted all those things on Instagram,

went to an after party, partied up like nothing was wrong. You know what I mean? Like there is no real consequences for this man. And the most egregious thing is that he was dancing to Getting Jiggy With It, which is one of the worst songs of all time. He's so angry. I was like, well, is it worse than

his song from back in the 80s? Parents Don't Understand? What was that song? No, that's different. That song, anything he did up until summertime, solid. Anythinggy with it and like that was that was disgusting that's what i was like like you couldn't that song that's what you choose to celebrate jig gross but also i hate it mia made a really good point that about protecting black women as something that we sort of glossed over which i think is worth discussing because i was on cbs news uh discussing this yeah yesterday or the

day before which makes me as i said an authority figure on this but wally collins was one of the comics who was on the thing with me. And he said if he really wanted to protect his black woman, what he should have done was taken Jada's head and given it a kiss and not reacted in violence. And I feel like there's this trope, and it's very common in domestic violence also, that you triggered me. It's your fault that I hit you.

If you hadn't done that, then I would not have hit you or yelled at you or whatever. And it's really inexcusable to put your hands on another person in that way. And I think that at the end of the day, that is really just the fucking bottom line. Well, I'm happy that you're talking about that because I think Will has a little bit of PTSD.

Like I come from a home. We talked about that. I don't know if you know that. I come from a home that had a lot of domestic violence and drug abuse and things like that. And Will and Jada both grew up in that type of home, too. Will grew up in a home where he watched his dad beat up his mother he was a child he couldn't really do anything right but um these kinds of things you don't get cured from it that that lives and stays with you every single day

that lives and stays with me every single day i deal with that every single day um and it's something that he needs to work on yeah you know know, this is kind of what you go to therapy for, what they're always talking about on their show, you know, the healing and, you know, letting this, it got so out of hand. And I do feel bad for him because I know that they come from this abusive home. Yeah, I can sympathize with that, but I don't think that it's still inexcusable what consequences if any do you think should be dealt out

to Will Smith he apologized I'll take what did he type something on fucking Instagram okay fine fine then what more do you feel should be done if you feel the apologies there has to be consequences the Academy Awards should not invite him back I think that feel should be done? If you feel the apologies. There has to be consequences. The Academy Awards should not invite him back.

I think that it should be done. I don't know, but there should be some sort of ramification. Especially if they ask him to leave and he didn't want to leave. I mean, it's just a buildup of him. Mia, you say what? What are my thoughts? He should go sit in the corner for an hour. What would be appropriate to? He should be banned. What would my thoughts? He should go sit in the corner for an hour. What would be appropriate to...

He should be banned. What would be appropriate? I mean, this thing in general, I mean, it's, like I said, it's a big, big, gigantic mess. But this is also just, it it's there's this industry thing there this like that has all been ruined for years it's all a cesspool in general so I think just the way that people think about what's the quote-unquote appropriate right way to do something with all that industry stuff swirling around I don't think that they even know what the right way to handle any of this kind of stuff is because again, nobody was expecting, I mean, nobody expects to get slapped

anyway. I mean, I do because I'm in New York and I just figured somebody might slap me one day. But just in general, you know, like at an event like that, you don't think that's going to happen and you certainly don't think that Will Smith is going to be the person to slap anyone just because of how he's carried himself throughout his entire career but I'm saying I think just because Hollywood again like you were just saying like they protect everybody like monsters have been protected so it's like if they don't know how to handle something that's really like despicable and disgusting, then they're probably like, well, what's a slap?

What are we doing? Right. What do we do here? Like we, well, we let rapists have Oscars. So how do we, well,

we'll do, we'll, we'll, we'll handle it all the same way. Cause I just don't, it's like, I think the Hollywood stuff, like it's just not normal.

Like it's not, it's not the same thought process that we would have as regular people that are going around living an everyday life. And we're like, oh, this thing should have consequences. When you have money, what are consequences really when you have money? There are none. There are none. Except jail. Yeah.

But there are none. Like, he won an Oscar. There are no consequences. Well, I suppose they could... They could ban him from life, from future Oscars. He can still win. Didn't Roman Polanski win when he wasn't there?

He can still win. He'll still get work. He's not gonna not get work. I have a question. There are no consequences. Yes. So, Chris Rock did not press charges. I mean, we all saw this. I mean, I saw it three times slow motion on TV. I mean, don't you think that the cops could have arrested him anyway? I mean, you don't have to because a little bit of legal theory here.

A criminal case is there's no plaintiff. It's between the state and the accused, the state of California and Will Smith in this case. They don't need Chris Rock. He doesn't even need to testify. It's all on tape. So the DA has to decide, do we prosecute? It's really the DA that presses charges, not people use the term press charges. That just means I'm going to complain.

I'm going to be a witness. Right. So the DA has to decide. They don't need Chris Rock to press charges. No, no, they don't. They can arrest him if they wanted to. They can arrest him if they wanted to, but the DA has a lot. The DA's got a lot of press charges. No, no, they don't. They can arrest him if they wanted to. But the DA has a lot.

The DA's got a lot of shit that they got to do. So they got to make decisions. Do we really want to spend the time and the resources to go after something that's small potatoes that even the victim doesn't seem to care about? I mean, if Chris. Well, Jim Carrey said that he would have sued him for $200 million. Well, that's a suit. That's a lawsuit. A lawsuit is a separate thing Well, that's a suit. That's a lawsuit. A lawsuit is a separate thing.

That's a civil suit. That's a civil suit. It's not criminal. And I don't think Chris is going to do that. I don't think Chris is... No, he said he's not. No, I think he would be... He said he's not suing?

What if this was all just a reboot? He's not Jewish. A new season of Red Table Talk. What if that was just... Well, I don't know. They tried to have a spinoff on that show. They tried to have like... What is Red Table Talk? It's Jada's show. They tried to have a spinoff on that show. They tried to have like... What is Red Table Talk?

It's Jada's show. Jada's show. I love that show because they really lay it all out on the table. They talk about all this personal stuff within their family. They do. Which is very weird to me.

Well, apparently they have an open... It's weird, but I kind of appreciate it because I'm kind of like, oh my God, they're not just... Do you believe it though? Yes, I do. They have an open marriage apparently. This is obviously what everybody's talking about.

Her mom and her daughter are on this show. Her mom was a former drug addict. And they talk about all this stuff on the show. And I think it's real and it's really open. I enjoyed that. They tried to do a spinoff with Gloria Estefan and her family. Oh, they did. Yeah, it was terrible.

Vaguely, I remember. And Emilio Estefan? No, not Emilio. Just the women. The show is for women. It's a women host. It's the grandma, the mom and the daughter. What if they were just like, yeah, it's time for us to get a new season.

So let's kick this off with a great episode. Well, this is the way to do it. I don't think I mean, people have, you know, hypothesized that it was staged. But I certainly don't think that was the case. They have laid out all kinds of stuff about them. Even the affair that Jada had is on the show. Entanglement. Yeah, she calls it an entanglement.

And it's like you're worried about a joke about her bald head? Well, look, I mean, people have made that point, but I don't know that the two things are related. They have an understanding that they can have extra marital sex. That's between them. I don't think either one of them are happy. I mean, if you saw this episode where they're talking about this,

you see Will's, I mean, he looks like, yes, that was, yes, he was not okay with that. Not okay with it.

I think that, anyway, you know, I think we have pretty well covered the subject because I do, because there are some other things going on that I do want to discuss and we don't have too much time. But first of all uh well I want to give uh Mia a chance if she has anything she wants to plug guys I'm starting a new show called blue table talk um where we will let's do it no um no no I'm not I'm not starting anything um, I will be in Las Vegas next week at April 4th through the 11th at the Rio.

Mia, you've done that, right? I have done. Yeah, we did it together pre-pandemic. Oh, that's correct. We did. Correct. I'll be there with Jackie Fabulous this time. Okay.

And Michael Yeo, I think, is going to be there from Vegas. Yeah. It's a good time. I was there during Christmas and did a week, so it was fun. Although my boyfriend didn't catch COVID afterwards. Oh, no. And I didn't, which was very

crazy. Is it like a mini vacation? Do you get to catch the shows in between your show? No, it's not a mini vacation. I do more stuff. If I do stuff, it's just during the day just because even the shows know, the shows are what? Seven and nine.

Seven and nine. Yeah, yeah. So you don't really get a chance to, you know. But it's still a good time. If it's warm out, I mean, I don't know what the temperature is going to be next week. I guess pretty warm. I don't know if the pools are going to be open. I'm sure they are.

One time I did go to the desert with Pete Lee and Dove Davidoff and walked at like a little hike. The Red Rock thing? I'm not sure what it was. It was, you know, and. Did you guys do drugs in the desert? No, peyote or something. Peyote or that other thing that everybody's talking about.

Yeah, I know. What other thing are they talking about? I don't know. But it's not a vacation as far as I'm concerned. It's a job. Still working. Alec, not Alec. I was about to say Alec Baldwin.

Bruce Willis is apparently retiring from acting because he was diagnosed with aphasia, which as I understand it is usually a consequence of a stroke or a tumor. But we don't have those details. We just know that he has aphasia which is some sort of, I guess... You lose the ability to recognize language. Or something like that. And he's 67, a relatively young man. Isn't it time for him to retire, don't you think?

No, I don't know if it's ever time to retire if he can still do the job. How many die-hard movies can you come out with? Well, he can do some other movies, you know. I mean, um... You know. We've got some siren going on in the background. But, um... I mean, Jack Nicholson went

into his 70s, I guess, and Gene Hackman, and a lot of people continue. He's still working. He doesn't have to be the leading man or the action hero. He can morph into other roles that are more appropriate for that age. You know, if he

wants to. So it's obviously quite sad. Yeah, Bruce Willis is amazing. Remember him on, what was that show with Sybil Shepard? Moonlighting. That was his... Now, Mia,

you can't possibly be old enough toard. Moonlighting. That was his... I remember that. Now, Mia, you can't possibly be old enough to have watched Moonlighting. I used to watch it. Yeah, I was a kid when it was out. Yeah, I watched Moonlighting. I will not confirm or deny my age, but yes, I did see it. I mean, I'll remember it as a kid.

I never really watched it because I think it was on at 10. I watched it. I love that show. Was it on at 10 p.m.? Yeah. So, I mean, it was a little later than I was typically up in those days. But it was a big, big show.

Yeah. I mean, was it on at 10? Can somebody confirm that? I think it was an ABC show, I think. Yeah, but I think he's most famous for those Die Hard movies. Yeah. You know? But that's what started him off. Oh, yeah, that was a great movie, right? Yeah, it was think he's most famous for those diehard movies. Yeah. You know? But that's what started him off.

Oh, yeah, that was a great movie, right? Yeah, that was a great movie. It's really sad. It really is. It's like you see somebody, he's so, like, spry and in such, I don't know, kind of like the prime of his life almost. Is that what they consider your prime? I don't know. No. Well, not really the prime,

but he's still young enough. And we all know people in that age bracket that are still very dynamic. Some can be, yeah. Most people that are 67 are still very well. Yeah, I mean, that's like pretty young. You know, it's still very, very much. I don't know. White men don't age well.

So it's like. It's true. Well, they might not age well physically, but, but look, we know somebody, you know,

George's partner is, I mean, Noam's partner is about that age. Yeah, George is an exception. He's not an exception. He, yes.

He's not an exception. 67, usually you still have all your, George is an exception insofar as his enthusiasm for life. He's very fit. He is. He plays tennis. He's had knee surgery.

I mean, that man is so fit. I mean, Bruce Willis seems like he was pretty fit, too. No, not lately. I just saw him here, actually, not that long ago. He was at the Cellar? Yeah, with Jeff Ross and David Tell. Really? He was at the cellar? Yeah with Jeff Ross and David Tell. Really? Oh wow. He was like playing

like the flute or something. What? I'm not kidding. He's a flutist. Or the recorder or something. Yeah I think he does play a lot of here. They were doing bumping mics. At the Village Underground.

That was a long time ago. It wasn't that long ago. It was like less than five years ago. It was before COVID. Things can change in five years. He did not look old, number one. He, I don't know. I've always thought Bruce Willis was pretty sexy, I gotta say.

Really? You got the hots for Bruce Willis? Well, not really, but... Obviously he was sexy. That's why he was in so many movies. They don't put you as the leading man in action movies if people don't think you're sexy. Fair enough. I don't know. I don't like older, white, bald men. I don't think they're sexy. Well, first of all, he wasn't

always older. He was. I mean, he was in his 30s during Moonlight. He always looked older. He was balding at a very young age. First of all, you are married to an older white man. What are you eating? We've been together like 28 years. I mean, I've seen him when he had lots of hair and now his hair is thinning. I mean, that, you know, I don't know.

My husband's very attractive. Don't try to get me in trouble, Perrie. Once again, just to remind our listeners, her husband is our own Noam Dorman. Do you, I mean, you know, Noam is- My husband's very sexy. Noam is very much into politics. And he plays guitar.

That's just extremely sexy. Noam is very much into politics. Right now, he is around the corner at a debate. Shirking his responsibilities here. Fair enough. But is that something that you find attractive about Noam or is that something that you don't... The politics?

The politics, his interest in politics. God, no. Especially, we don't really share the same politics. We have completely different backgrounds. It's crazy. But I love that he's this sexy guitar player. So it's the guitar politics. We have completely different backgrounds. It's crazy. I love that he's this sexy guitar player. So it's the guitar playing and you tolerate

the political talk. Yes. Sometimes. So you don't have political discussions in the house? We have them all the time. Oh, God. Cariel's at my house. I'm like, I feel like we're on the show. Can we just stop talking? But you're at odds politically. Yeah, we don't...

Well, he's more in the center-right, and I guess you far-left? I mean, I thought you were... No, I'm not left at all. So you're a center-left, or... I'm conservative. So it sounds like your politics are pretty much in line. No, we're okay.

I mean, so where do you differ, though, if he's on the right and she's... I don't know. I don't want to talk about politics. I was about to say, I feel like this is, we're getting pushed into another topic. We are getting pushed into another topic. He's like, don't talk about it. That's fine.

I will say this. I see the political talk of Don and Cariel when they're at my house. And then I tell them both to shut the hell up. Because you had said your husband is sexy. So you open the door now to talk about your husband and his guitar playing. And I was wondering if his political insight, if his debating was also sexy. Does anybody find that sexy, this political stuff? Do you turn on the news and like, oh, that dude is sexy because he's saying no.

There's not. No. Well, probably some people do. I mean, women have. No, those people are wrong. Okay. No. I think women.

What about you, Nicole? Do you have anything to add? You're certainly not obligated. My boyfriend plays guitar. I find that sexy. He knows nothing about politics, which I also find sexy. Is music sexier than funny? Guitar playing sexier than funny.

Yes. And I mean, obviously, it's a subjective matter of opinion, but in your opinion. I vote funny. Periel votes funny. You find funny men sexy? Sexier than... Your husband's not funny, Periel. He is, actually.

He is? He is funny. Well, he's funny to Periel, and that's all that matters. He is funny. Yes, I think, I mean, objectively, like, I recognize that, like, being a rock star and that whole thing aesthetically, like, is kind of sexy. Well, you're not a rock star, so you're just, you're just a very talented musician. No, to me, like, I'm funny is number one. Which makes sense, right?

Well, you are in that business, you know, but some people in that business, they've seen so much funny that they're not impressed by it. Listen, Dan, you get a lot of women who want to, like, get introduced. I mean, I've known Dan a long time. And I'll say, Dan, these girls over here, they really want to meet you.

They're so into you. And he's like, oh, not me. Like, it's because you're funny. They find that sexy. They come to the shows and shows and like oh we want to sit in the front no doubt women many women do but the question is is is it sexier than a guy who can play guitar Mia Jackson oh god um this is all preference yeah well I want to know her preference if I can if I can ask let me see I now if it comes to just a regular non-comedy man having a sense of humor I'm I'm okay like I'm like yeah like I like a funny smart guy but do I like comedians as like oh that comedian sexy no that's the way I feel about getting jiggy with it. Is it because you guys are always on with your comedy?

Yeah. And also, I mean, just, I mean, male comedians in general, like, I mean, I've, years ago, I was engaged to a man that was, and I was like, this is a mistake. Like, I was like, this is a bad, and I just remember going, if I get out of this, I'm like, never again. I was like, I will never, ever, ever, ever. You've been with your boyfriend a very long time. Yeah, my current. Yeah, he's not.

Is he funny? He is funny. He's really funny. Yeah, he's really. But he would never do stand up because he's very, very introverted. He also loves politics and it's stressful um yeah he loves it so much but um yeah but I I like I find creativity sexy so he's a photographer so I do like I'm like I like I like that but yeah but like yeah music versus comedy I mean yeah I get the

whole like ooh you know but yeah but if it comes to if I had my choice, I'm going to go with funnier over... Well, here's the difference, perhaps, is that funny you can take anywhere. You could be driving your car, having a conversation, at dinner having a conversation, in bed having a conversation, and he can bring the funny. Whereas a musician only brings the music when he's bringing the music. You're not at dinner having a conversation and he's singing or playing guitar, typically. Incorrect. I didn't want you to tell. I've been on the train.

People take music everywhere. Yeah, music is everywhere. And Noam is actually really funny. He's quick with it, too. Yes, Noam is. Yeah. But he also does play the guitar at the table. Maybe I think for women who are Latinas, I think funny is kind of

like, we don't get a lot of jokes or sarcasm. A lot of the jokes go over our heads. We take things a little too serious. No one's like, it was a joke. He's always like, right. So a lot of times I don't get it. But you're funny too, though. I am? Yes, you are.

I don't think I am. I don't mean to be. Well, she's a... I don't mean to be, but that's no harm. She has a funny character. She's funny. She's a funny personality. And she's also... I don't know if she makes jokes per se, but she has a funny way.

No, she doesn't make jokes, but she's funny and she's sarcastic and she's quick and she makes comments that are funny. Oh, okay. There are a lot of comedy couples. Now, I don't know if it's just because of proximity and people thrown together. Okay, that's who you meet? Or it's because...

Yes. It's proximity only. It's proximity. We have, I mean, Rosebud is married to a comic, Rosebud Baker, and Tom Cotter is married to a comic, and Tom Papa's wife used to be a comic. And Esther Steinberg and her husband are both comics.

But do you ever stop being a comic? I mean. No. No. No. Well, you could stop being a professional comic. Do you stop having a personality of a comic? Probably not.

Yeah. But you might stop doing stand-up comedy, which very seldom happens. Mostly, you leave this business in a body bag, generally, if you leave it at all. That made me sad. That was dark. Yeah, and I felt good until I went, oh, wait a minute. Why? I think that's great. Look, isn't that like the best way to go?

Like doing what you love until the very last minute? Look at Joan Rivers. Yeah, I didn't mean for it to be dark. I meant that most people don't stop being stand-up comics. Very seldom do they get out of this. It happens very rarely that people simply go and do other things. Yeah, I find it a little more interesting that a lot of comics will go out and get a college degree,

become lawyers and nurses or whatever, and then they go, No, I want to be a comic. I go, Oh, my God. How did they get from A to Z? That's such a leap. You know what I mean? Well, comedy, I'll tell you how, because I did that. I have a lot.

Right, I know. Because basically, we'll end it up in a few. But because comedy is a dream that a lot of people don't acknowledge because they think it's silly or unattainable. And so they go in a normal direction. And a normal direction would be law school, it might be nursing, whatever it would be. And then they realize, no, this is not what I want. So it makes sense.

Because like I said, I wanted to be a comedian but thought this is ridiculous. It's a stupid idea. Who would do such a thing? Especially when you come from a family, but thought this is ridiculous. It's a stupid idea. Nobody, who would do such a thing? Especially when you come from a family that isn't show business oriented. Right. How did you spring that on your parents? Well, I sprung it very gradually.

I said, hey, I'm in, yeah, I did an open mic. You know, I was in law school. And I said, you know, I did an open mic the other day. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, I did another open mic. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, you know, I'm actually doing comedy regularly as I'm getting my degree. Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah, I'm not doing law. So it was a gradual buildup. And I have two older sisters that are normal people, if you, for want of a better word. And so, you know, I mean, my parents probably figured, well, at that point, two out of three ain't bad. I had my, I mean, Noam did the same thing. Noam got a law degree and told his father. Or his father said to him, if I understand the story correctly, just get your degree and then you can do music.

Because you have your degree. And that's what I did. I have my degree. At this point, I've forgotten everything I knew, and I don't think it would be of much value. But I have the degree exactly as Noam did. Noam has his law degree and then immediately became a professional musician, right? More or less. A few months later.

So him and I followed a similar trajectory. It's not uncommon. But law school is also a place where a lot of people go just because they have nothing they don't know what to do and so they go to law school. Yeah, but you know when you come from a minority family, that is not even like I don't even see that shit happening.

That is insane. That's white privilege right there. Oh, I got a law degree but i'm gonna be a comedian oh my lord my mom would take that shoe off it would be come on you pay for all of this and you're gonna be a comedian oh no yeah no hell no well okay i mean that that's an interesting point you know only white people do that okay white people are allowed to dream um well that's that's but why why you might argue that that that i had the pressure of uh that um of of having to you know because i wouldn't have gone to law school you know may perhaps if I weren't, you know, from a background where, you know, people do these sorts of things.

And I might have just gone into stand-up at a younger age, and perhaps that would have been better in terms of my career, you know. Well, I should take that white people thing back because I did speak to Ethan the other night, and he's— Ethan Simmons Patterson, a black man. Yeah, he's a nurse. Yeah, he is, yeah. And he was talking about

I'm gonna give up nursing and become a full-time comedian I was like whoa yeah TJ I think also had like a kind of a TJ you know TJ yeah I know it's the Haitian guy yeah of course he had some sort of normal job I think for no I think I

asked him that the other night too he was like no right out of college oh that's right you know what it is he dropped out, no, right out of college. Oh, that's right. You know what it is? He's like, I dropped out of college. Yeah, he dropped out of college. He dropped out of college. Well, you could argue that's, you know, privilege that he dropped out of college.

I don't know the situation. But anyway, maybe we'll ask him about it next time he's on the show. Yeah, I like him a lot. I love TJ. He's the best. He is. Sweet man. He's very smart. He is. Sweet man.

He's very smart and very insightful. He was on the debate last week. He was on the debate last week. There was a debate about, is comedy sort of the last hold? It wasn't really a debate. It was a discussion. Is comedy, is stand-up comedy kind of like the last holdout of free speech in a society wherein free speech seems to be being diminished.

And he was on the panel. I love his take on things because he's not American. He's not from here. He's from Haiti. And for him to have such a big perspective on what's going on, I was pretty impressed. I guess we'll wrap that up. Nicole, did you enjoy today's discussion?

Yeah, this was fun. Again, you can't tell with her. You can't tell with her. How can you tell? We can't even see her. The tone of voice is very even. She's never going to tell you it sucks. I'm telling you right now. I understand that. I have to go beyond what she's saying

and I have to rely on how she is saying it. But she says it the same every time. That's the problem. Sometimes she'll rate it. Sometimes I think she has a little more enthusiasm. Does she rate the shows? She does. Nicole, what do you rate this show?

I'm forced to do it against my will. I think it was really good. And my voice just doesn't change from this ever, so it sucks. So I could be having the time of my life and sound like this. So it's not a good barometer. It's a very calm voice that is a very calm voice yes you should you should probably

consider meditation apps that was so good I was like because now I'm feeling I'm insulted but I'm also feeling calm anyhow thank you so much everybody

thank you Mia thank you Juanita Dorman thank you for having me on the show thank you Perrielle thank you podcast at comedyseller.com if you have questions comments, suggestions Thank you, Mia. Thank you, Juanita Dorman. Thank you for having me on the show. Thank you, Perrielle. Thank you. Podcast at ComedyCellar.com if you have questions,

comments, suggestions, the kinds of stuff you like to hear, the kinds of stuff you don't want to hear any more of. And I guess that is it. We'll see you next time. Thank you. Bye-bye.