The Comedy Cellar: Live from the Table - Tik Tok with Eric

Episode Date: June 10, 2022

Eric Neumann is a stand up comic who made his late night debut on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon in February of 2022. He is a regular at the Comedy Cellar and his most recent album / special is called, But Enough About Me: A Crowdwork Album.    

This is Live from the Table, recorded at the world-famous Comedy Cellar. Coming at you on SiriusXM 99, Raw Dog, and on the Laugh Button Podcast Network, Dan Natterman here, along with Noam Dwarman, the owner of the world-famous Comedy Cellar. We have Perrie L. Ashtonbrand. She's the producer of the show. She's also an on-air personality, and there really is no turning back at this point. We have Eric Newman with us. He has been on before. He's on again.

I asked him on for a specific reason. We'll get to that. And, of course, I have a question. Well, I haven't finished the intro. Oh, go ahead. Behind the scenes, the wizard of sound, the sorceress of audio from Binghamton, New York. Nicole Lyons joins us. Nicole, you don't have to say anything.

We know you're shy. Just a little beep. A little noise there. Now, I have a question. To let us know you're there. Okay, maybe not. Noam has a question before we get into this.

The word producer, does it have any particular meaning anymore? Like in a movie, it's producer's a guy who takes the money and hires a director in charge of the... That's an interesting point. In a music scenario, the producer is actually involved in the recording and oversees the of technical skills, of audio, of something to do with production. There was a term I used to hear called booker.

She's a booker. She's a booker. No, no, she's the producer. We know she's the producer. I'm just asking, what does producer mean? Well, in this case, she books the show. And she produces it. And beyond that,

I'm not sure she's an on-air personality, as we've said. See, she inherited the title producer from her previous producer who called himself a producer. Okay, the way the job was pitched to me, and I do have a paper trail to back this up, was that there was a sound engineer, so that was never part of the job description. I'm just wondering if you tell somebody,

if you tell, when words don't have meaning, they cease to be useful. If you tell, if I tell somebody I'm a baseball player, they're like, oh, really? You make pizza somewhere? Like, they know what it means to be a baseball player. Well. If you tell somebody you're a producer.

Right. What does that tell them that you do? Well, I think it actually is sort of um vague title but that was kind of my point right so i do everything from playing like kindergarten teacher to you know making sure everybody shows up on time to making sure certain people that shall remain nameless actually read the calendar and know who the guests are and you know probably she's referring to me eric um i do research to track down the guests i do a big part of what i do is tracking down and booking the guests and maintaining the calendar and that's a

big job and then uploading everything more like a casting director. I feel like I'm a creative director and producer. But by the way, a lot of titles have that vagueness to them. Manager, and I mean manager as far as representation, and manager as far as managing a restaurant. Manager of a restaurant could just be like a server who wears a suit, pretty much. Or they could be like a high-level GM or manager. This, by the way, Eric has restaurant experience, so he knows wherever he speaks.

If I may, I don't want to get too bogged down into this discussion because I did bring Eric in. It's too late for that. We're already too bogged down. You brought me on to clarify what a producer is. I wanted to say something about two things, and then we'll talk to Eric. First of all, we had a big discussion about gun control last week.

Afterwards, I think there's something I meant to say and I think I didn't get to say it, but it's just important to add to it, anybody who listens, that I think that everything exists on the emotional level and on the analytical level and one can

obscure the other. What we were talking about last week is how a particular narrative of a tiny number of people can seem more significant to us than tens of thousands of deaths which are kind of anonymous but having said that it it's also important to just i want to be on record as saying, that it's just intolerable emotionally to have children killed in a school. It is like terrorism. I think I said it last week, like asymmetric, like the whole point of terrorism is not the damage it does. It's the emotional fear and everything it inflicts. Although these school shootings are not done by terrorists in the sense that, you know, managers are imprecise. Where terrorists is usually defined as somebody with a political agenda.

Sometimes they're done by terrorists. It still has the same effect on us as terrorism. And so I don't want anybody to think that I minimize it in any way. As a matter of fact, I think I said it's true what I was talking about. I couldn't even maintain my composure. I believe you made this point. Did I make the point? I believe you did. Okay, so I want to make it very clear that

both things are true. The school shootings are intolerable. We have to do everything we can to stop them, even if it saves a small number of lives, because emotionally, we can't live that way as a country. On the other hand, it does bother me. It really does bother me that same numbers of people,

larger numbers of people are killed all the time. And literally there's no reaction to it because we're not able to react to things sufficiently unless we have a narrative to put to them. And that's where our leaders let us down. So anyway, that's why I just wanted to say that. Go ahead. Okay, Eric Newman, everybody.

I brought him on for a very specific reason. And that reason is Dan Natterman has thrown himself into the ring of social media. How long I'll be doing it, I don't know. I may take my ball and go home if I don't see results at some point. But both Instagram and TikTok, I have now now been posting videos reels on instagram and i've opened up a tiktok account i have 31 followers it is a humble beginning but a beginning nonetheless and i brought eric newman on because he is has had good success on social media in a relatively short time he's been out for a couple of years.

He already has how many Instagram and TikTok followers? 407,000, but I once had less than 31. Well, everybody once had less than 31. 407,000 on TikTok, 81 on Instagram. Okay, so I have 3,200 on Instagram. Anyway, so I wanted to really dissect this whole thing with Eric. I even took the rare step of writing down questions that I would like to address regarding that. First of all, just by way of background, this is the new way comics are getting their name out there.

It's the only—I did stand-up for 12 years in this city, started to headline a little bit ever since the social media following. I mean, I got The Tonight Show a few months ago, but if I ask around, I always want to ask, how did you hear about the show? And 98% of the crowd will say TikTok or Instagram, and three old ladies will be like, we saw you on The Tonight Show. So, you know, Eric, we did, just very briefly, I was told by... That was a good parallel imitation. Go ahead. I was told by the book of The Tonight Show. I won't mention his name. Oh, God.

Oh, here we go. But he gave me a hard no as far as doing that show. And I have been... I've done a lot of talk shows over the years. So it was shocking and upsetting to get a hard no from him.

But the good news is his show doesn't count for shit. So... I mean, it counted for where I was. i don't know if it would do much for you for me i needed a late night set at this point needed wanted really wanted so i mean i don't know i mean look it comes down to ticket sales man that's what it is like the seller is the one club i can think of where no matter who's on the lineup, it sells out. The only club I can think of. I've been to a good number of clubs

around this country. Well, why do you think that is? It's a reputation. That's it. I rest my case, Your Honor. No, go ahead. Reputation. Do you have another theory?

Because it doesn't matter. The point is this. It's product, okay? And whether that product comes in the form of a celebrity or a young comic who's just a killer on stage, it's still a product of quality. Well, that's what I meant. It is obviously the reputation, but what earned us that reputation? What are we doing differently than other clubs are doing?

You're paying more attention. I say this all the time on podcasts. I was on Edibles in LA two weeks ago and i was having like a really deep conversation with a comic in la and i was like and i and i say this about you all the time behind your back all the time i go gnomes always there i'm like i've worked every club in this city i haven't really worked the stand but every other club i've worked in the city for a long period of time and have been at the place a lot. And I pay attention to every detail.

That's how I am. It's just sort of the way my brain works. You're always at the bar, like, watching the comic on stage, like, looking around the room. I notice you're doing this all the time. He's usually at a table having a cocktail talking with Harry Anton about politics. and I've been around it a little bit and I can't really speak to exactly how great it is because I haven't spent a lot of time there, but indisputably, The Cellar is the best club I've ever stepped foot in.

Thank you. I don't want to Shanghai Dan's intention here because he wants to talk about social media. Did you still say Shanghai? That sounds like it might be a politically incorrect term at this point. My point that I'm getting back to is that attention to detail is really what separates, I think really successful people from those not as successful.

And I think that social media needs your attention. Like you, you, you need to be attending to it consistently and hard and like, and that's what it comes down to. I mean, it comes down to ticket sales. Look,

I, I'm doing pretty well around the country, ticket sales wise. I want to be doing 20 times better and I plan to be, and I'm, that's what the goal is. Um, I'm glad Liz and Bobby Kelly here. I don't know. Um, we won't beat you all back to a podcast. You probably, uh, didn't listen to, but anyway. Um, but yeah, so I think, I think like what I did is I like during the pandemic, like I was, I mean, I was performing here a lot behind glass. But even before that, there was a six month period where like there were four month period where there was no comedy at all available. You could not get up. And I was going crazy. So I was like, OK, I'm just going to like pull.

And at that point, TikTok, I mean, I'm not going to say even pretend to be say I'm the first one to put stand up clips on TikTok. But I was definitely part of the first wave. I was, I was the first person to do a podcast. I will say that I was, I was doing podcast. I mean, I don't know for sure that this is that I was the first,

but I was podcasting in 2005 or four even, but the word podcast hadn't been invented yet. So I called it my internet radio show and I was doing it on my website and you could download it. And anyway, so I will say that I was the first to do that. I was the first person to invent cloud computing. You might have been.

You also had the oldest living dog in the world. You said you had two dogs that lived over 20 years old, which is hard. We're just going to throw out facts, writing facts about our lives now. I actually did. I did. I'm not going to bore you, but when I say I, when I say I was invented cloud computing, I am, I might be telling the truth. Go ahead. We all might be telling the truth about everything we say.

I don't think Dan had the first podcast. No, no. Well, then who had one in 2005? But to have a podcast. No, seriously, who had one? Well, then where did you post it? On my website. And you could, at that time there was no smartphones, but you could like put it on your, your iPod.

And again, the word podcast didn't exist. I called it Dan Aderman's Internet Radio Show, the Dan Aderman Show. You were the last person to have internet radio. You weren't the first person to have a podcast. I was the first comedian to do that. Maybe you were, Dan. That's great. As far as I know, there was no other comedian who was doing it at the time. And I thought

to myself, why are these people doing this? It's so obvious. And then, of course, now everybody is doing it. Dude, you know what's a good pod? Do a, like, attempt a resurgence for the podcast. Bring it back. Call it the first podcast ever created. And have guests on from other podcasts who you debate with about whether they were.

I think that would be a good idea. That probably would be. I mean, it's an interesting concept. But let's dig into the, I do want to dig into the nitty gritty of how to get a following as a comic. Eric said something that really resonated with me that you and I have discussed that you poo-poo but maybe coming from him you won't

is that you have to do it consistently. I don't think I poo-pooed it. With everything else in show business, you have to be encouraged I'm wikipedia podcasting began to catch hold in late night late 2004 with dan natterman it didn't get well then that's wrong because it didn't catch on at all i didn't say it caught on i said i was doing it 2004 it says um okay so have you noticed that certain videos you know there's been a lot of talk

of how to game the system. I, my first video that I posted on Instagram got 30,000. It's up to 30. It's still, it's still kind of getting a lot of good 33,000 views on Instagram. It was a, it was a video. I was talking about comedians getting assaulted on stage. Oh yeah. The Chris Rock, the Chris Rock. When I said that Chris Rock, you know, I applaud Chris Rock because, um, he kept his calm when he got smacked by Will Smith. Although I probably would have applauded a lot harder if he knocked Will Smith out with one punch and then said, now where was I? And anyway, so that got like 33,000. Keith and the Girl started March 7, 2005.

So you predated them? It's possible that I did not predate them. I have to go back to my archives. I don't even know. I think you might have. I'm not sure

if I started in 2004 or 2005. And that's still going. Yeah, that's Chemda. Yeah, Chemda, yeah. It's so funny. This week, it's funny we're talking about podcasting.

We used to be my band. Go ahead. Nuh-uh. I went to Salman Chector with her. I've known her since first grade. Okay, we're really... Oh, it's used to be my band. Go ahead. I went to Salmon Schechter with her. I've known her since first grade. Okay, we're really... I really do want to... Because I have a lot of points to make.

Take it, Dan. Take it. I did the unthinkable. I wrote a list of questions. Go ahead. Ask the first one. I'll try to answer them. So the question is why did some video... Greg Rogel just did a video. He did a joke about tilapia. It was a funny joke, but he had a ton of other funny jokes.

Well, this particular joke got a million views and his other jokes got 2,000. A million views? A million on TikTok. Greg Rogel? Yeah. And he got like 3,000 followers from that joke. What's the joke? He's like, yeah, tilapia.

I've never. Well, I don't want to tell his joke. Tell a joke. It's not for me to tell his joke. He's talking about how tilapia. He's never met anybody that said they's like, yeah, tilapia. I've never. Well, I don't want to tell his joke. It's not for me to tell his joke. He's talking about how tilapia. He's never met anybody that said they went fishing and caught a tilapia. That's the joke? Well, there's more to it. But that's basically the premise.

He's funny, Greg. But he has a lot of funny jokes. And this joke got a million. And my thing got 30,000 on Instagram. It got 11 on TikTok. 11. Literally, no, 11. And and

Dude, what is the number that I would suggest you make up? It's a funny number. It's a funny number. Like if you were like, if we were workshopping this thing you just said and you were like what number should I say? Like 18? I was like, I think 11. 11 is the one you go with. Yeah, 11 sounds funny. It is

11. 12 is not funny. I could show you, but... 11's it. 19, but 11's funny. And then other ones did better on... So how the... Is there any rhyme or reason? Greg Rogel was telling me, well, you gotta post it at 9 in the morning. That's how it works.

Okay, someone asked you how you make it in stand-up comedy. Do you have an answer? You've been doing comedy, you're a professional comic, for years. Can you give them an answer? I can give them some theories. Theories, but they're all theories. You see what I'm saying? There's no concrete way to tell a young comic who's now like,

a young comic asked me to go have a coffee. This happens all the time now. But you don't notice a pattern that certain things you post get big. But there are patterns. There are patterns. There are patterns that are broken consistently. Okay, so you're telling me that there's no room. That makes them not really.

Viral is something that everybody wants that nobody could tell you how to do it. Okay, but here's my question. This is TikTok, right? Well, both TikTok and Instagram are real. But TikTok, as far as I understand it, is a little unique because the algorithm serves up the video. People are not going to Greg Rogel. Correct. There are people who have literally seen me

and have never been to my actual page. Right. Right. So somehow the algorithm latched on to this joke, maybe because they noticed how long the engagement, the algorithm noticed how long the engagement is. People didn't skip it. People maybe watched it again. Sometimes,

if you like a video, they'll scroll back down the show to their mom or whatever it is. Somehow, the algorithm said, oh, this is something. People like this and then began to serve it up to other people. That's how TikTok works, which is quite different than going viral on YouTube. The disadvantage of TikTok is there hasn't been, now there is this week they started you know how like on instagram you

could share a story yeah you could like you know they didn't have that on tiktok there was actually no way to like really share to or even to like communicate tour dates to fans like it's like because again it's not like instagram you post it and it'll show hit most people's who follow you as account or i don't know what whatever percentage 30 of the people who follow you will see it or something you know tiktok there's no real way to do that so there's no like structured structured way to like actually let people know information you want to let them know well you can put it in the video at the end of the video you're the end of the video right exactly but then it's like okay but what if the video only gets 11 views then 11 people saw it you know what i'm saying so it's like that that's what i

mean like you know I was reading this book recently called Psychology of Money. Have you guys read it? It's a really interesting book. But they were talking about how Warren Buffett, how everybody always assumes like Warren Buffett was just like always right. And he just, the times he was right, he was maybe way more right than most people, but he was

wrong just as much as you and I are. So like, I think that's social media. I think it's like... I know the point you're trying to make, but believe me, Perry Ells has been wrong more than Warren Buffett. Maybe only a couple of times.

I know you're being just like... He couldn't not. But come on. Look at how happy that makes him. That might be the dumbest thing you've ever said, Eric. You better read that book him. That might be the dumbest thing you've ever said, Eric. You better read that book again. No, I just don't know enough about Perrielle. It's not what I know about the book.

It's what I... But I think that's what social media... I had one video on TikTok that got 26 million views. Whoa! 26 million. And it brought in 150,000 followers. By the way, no, this is a... What was it?

It was actually at the Fab Like Pussycat. By the way, you want to know what you asked me why the cellar's always packed? It's that video. That's not a crazy thing. Apparently, a lot of comedian TikTok videos are from our clubs. Yes, a lot.

That brings up my next question. Because you guys gave out the videos. There was a time where I wasn't using any other video, but it always had the seller in the background, which is like the smartest thing. Now clubs are just starting to do that.

God damn it, don't you put them up. I won't put them up. How much do you pay me not to put them up? My next question, is like, is there a way to expedite? Now, what it is, is the Comedy Cellar have cameras installed in the clubs. Now, you can either bring your own camera and film it,

and I did that, but it wasn't as good because... You want to get the videos quicker? Is there a way to expedite the process? Yeah, there is. The problem is we're having trouble. We're short on staff, but... Especially because sometimes you do a topical video and you want it faster. Yes, I'm going to take care of that because

that was the intention. I spent a lot of money on this system including very, very high-speed internet, specifically so the comedians could get their videos right away. We have the same internet they have at CNN. And the sound guys are not that busy. They should be able to really just send it to you right after

your set if you give them your email address. They should be able to. John kills it, man. John's been great. Now, what do you get it right? Do you tape it yourself with your own camera or do you use the built-in system? And you get it right away? No, not right away. It takes a while because it goes through Liz.

All right. I'm going to try to expedite. I'm going to make a list of people. The reason it's slow, part of the reason is because I was hyper careful. I don't want these videos getting out when the comedians don't want them to get out. So I installed a lot of procedural rigmarole. But if you're not worried about it, because the easier

it is for you to get it, the more easier it is for somebody to steal it or to take it home or stick a USB drive in. Obviously, I'm more concerned about people like Chappelle and stuff like that when they come down. But if you're not worried about it, I'll just tell them they don't care.

And also, a lot of comedians are posting with time stamps on it. Do they not realize you're not worried about it, I'll just tell them, you know, they don't care. And also, a lot of comedians are posting with timestamps on it. Do they not realize you can ask? You can ask. No, I know that. But a lot of comedians are posting with the timestamps. Mine got 26 million with a timestamp. I don't think a timestamp matters.

It doesn't. I literally got my highest video ever had a timestamp on it. So what was the video about? It was a video. I was hosting at the lounge, and there was this, I asked this, you know, I do a lot of crowd work up front. So I asked this, uh,

a couple if they were, I asked them if they were a couple or whatever. And she said, uh, no, he had sex with my mom. And, I sort of like unpack that and it's crazy.

I had a hundred, probably 150 to 200,000 followers. This is on Tik TOK. On Tik TOK. It went so viral. Is this your girlfriend, your lady? No.

No. Where are you guys? Friends. Friends. Okay. You guys so viral. Is this your girlfriend? Your lady? Yeah. No? Were you guys friends? Yes. Friends. Okay. You guys trying to make me compliment shit more? No, he asked my mom.

Oh, no. Wait, are you fucking serious? Thank you guys. Good night. Thanks for coming to the show. I really appreciate it. That's it. The show's over.

The show's fucking done. You had sex with her mom and we're all saying goodnight. Because I can't, quite frankly, nobody can follow that shit. Um, wait, what? I can't believe I took so long to get to this shit. Um, what, uh,

wait, did he really? Okay. Everybody shut the fuck up so we can listen to it. Stop placing drink orders. Nobody can. This is going to be entertaining without alcohol listen to you Stop placing drink orders Nobody can't This is going to be entertaining without alcohol You can stop placing drink orders Okay, okay, keep going, go ahead

Wow How old is your mom? You look young as hell You're beautiful and young as hell How old is your mom? My mom's 45 Who at the time was she? I was 20, she was 49 Are you with these people? Because you were just like this My mom's 45. Who at the time was 40? I was 20, she was 49. Okay, look out.

Are you with these people? Yeah. Okay, because you were just like this. Oh, you were all there when he had sex with her mom? I fucked it on him. I'm fucking done with you people. Suddenly sports marketing sounds very interesting to me. I can't...

I hope this is a fucking fake story. No? Holy shit. I'm so glad we record these sets. I'm definitely asking for a tape of this shit. So you make these videos and you put them on TikTok and then you post them from TikTok on Instagram? Like, what is that?

Are those two things completely separate? You can't have the TikTok logo on the Instagram platform. Okay. It won't go anywhere. You can, but it's not going to. You've got 11 views. Did you have it on?

No, I got 11 views on TikTok. That video got 30,000 on Instagram. Dude, 11 is really bad, dude. Well, I understand that. Why don't you write a joke about tilapia and fucking somebody's mother? Let's see if the algorithm. But are those platforms completely mutually exclusive? Like, do you take a minute and you put it on Instagram

and then you put that same minute on TikTok? No, no, no. I do that a lot. But sometimes, like, TikTok, for example, they flag shit way quicker than Instagram. Like, you'll get flagged. I got kicked off TikTok. My account disappeared after, like, 200,000 followers and I was having a heart attack.

And then I emailed all these people at TikTok and they finally restored the account. Just for like, I don't know, saying like pussy too much or whatever. Like TikToks, like they have, they're a little rigorous with their parameters. Whereas Instagram, you could pretty much get away with anything.

Ari Shafir could get off Instagram, but he's one of the only ones, get kicked off Instagram, but he's one of the only ones that seem to have been able to achieve it. He was driven though. Yeah, he was trying. That was his goal. Did he get kicked off Instagram? Yeah he's one of the only ones that seem to have been able to achieve it. He was driven though. Yeah, he was trying. That was his goal. Did he get kicked off

Instagram? Yeah, but he got it back. Now, you said you do crowd work. Are you doing crowd work because that's your thing or because you don't want to burn material so when you go now do a show and people have seen you on TikTok, they haven't seen... I've been doing just my jokes.

But, you know, if I ever do get a following from this and I don't quit and take a coding class, which I've been considering, if I ever do get a following and do go, well, you know, I'm told you can make like $150,000 after a 15-week coding

boot camp. I don't know if that's true. It's pretty good. But that's pretty good. C++? I don't know. Why don't you chop the coding class clips into TikTok segments? It could do that. Apparently, Elon Musk

pretends he knows how to code, but he couldn't even run a Python script. Did you read about that? I didn't know about that. Go ahead. But if I ever do get a following and I go on the road and now they've seen my jokes on TikTok,iktok that's that's well first of all is that a big deal there's two things number one is first i only did jokes for the first 10 years i did stand up i didn't start crowd work is more of a more recent thing for me i mean at least in into this level like of doing it

but hosting here has like made me very comfortable with it because... But do you think it's just better for social media because you don't burn the material? Oh yeah, so that's the thing. I write quietly, I write jokes quietly, and I don't have to worry about burning the material. Like, fans have actually commented to me after shows and they're like, we saw that joke, we saw that joke. And like, a couple of them were like unhappy about it and I was like, well fuck you, but also kind of like, alright, mental note. I mean, is that a new thing? Because, thing because um you know in the old days you'd go on the tonight show and you'd do jokes and then you'd you'd do those same jokes in your and on your show i don't

know people don't want to hear jokes like much more than once no that's not true that's just the idiot who says something to you right usually people want to hear the i hope he does i hope he does this you're gonna see george carlin i hope he does the seven words yeah yeah i, people want to hear, I hope he does this. You go see George Carlin, you're like, I hope he does the seven words. I don't want to hear that seven words thing I've heard. You want to hear it. You're right. Some people. But with music, it's never the case. With music, of course, they want to hear

the same music over and over again. By the way, I know him at the beginning of this show. He said, he's not going to stay very long. He has other things to do. No, no, no. He's not going. And this topic wasn't of overwhelming interest to him because normally he likes to talk about politics, but yet here he is. And does that mean you actually are engaged by this discussion now?

I'm quite engaged. The only reason I didn't want to stay had nothing to do with the topic. It's because I have a lot piling up on me. You'll be done in a minute. And because I know that this topic is probably more interesting if I shut up anyway. No.

Well. Look, it's always, what I like about having Noam on the show is to get the club owner's perspective is gold. It is gold. You know, I don't think any other podcast has that. You know, there's other podcasts at the Comedy Store or wherever they're at. Are you telling me the guys want to stand on to a podcast? They just tweet out this all right show? I'm kidding.

Maybe they do, but to have the guy that owns this particular club, which is a very special place, is I think a very unique thing to have. By the way, I think I'm one of the top...

When you search comedy seller on TikTok, I think I'm one. Someone messaged me and told me that I was the first or second one that came up. That's what I heard. I know that Zarna is very. Zarna, she's killing it. She's got about 100,000 more than I do. She's killing it. Well, I told this story, but I brought my daughter and her best friend to the comedy

seller a few weeks ago. And Zarna walked through and my daughter's little friend says is that Zarna Garg? and she's like she saw the Beatles now the caveat to that is this girl is 11 years old she's not going to go see Zarna at a comedy club probably in other words you want fans

but ideally you want fans that are 20, 21, 22 but Noam's just commenting on what type of reach it has of course but in terms of a fan base some fans are better than others 21, 22. But Noam's just commenting on what type of reach it has. Of course. But in terms of a fan base, some fans are better than others. Some fans are more lucrative than others. An 11-year-old girl.

No, no, no. I understand what you're saying. But if you are a Netflix and somebody has a rabid following at any age, that is a money-making proposition. For sure. And Zarna, I've said this before, Zarna, I think, is in a very good position because she is a comedian that the whole family can enjoy together. 11-year-olds can watch

and everybody's enjoying it. It's not like watching it. And that's a throwback to when I was a kid, when Bill Cosby used to be able to entertain. I keep telling you not to use that as an example. But it's true. He was able to, or even George Carlin to some extent, but comedians at that time used to be able to entertain

a whole age range. Zarna has had one of the quickest ascensions I've ever seen in comedy. I mean, I've only been doing it 14 years. I haven't been doing it nearly as long as you, but I haven't seen anything like it. She kills, man.

She murders. And she's sweet man. Like, she murders. Like, and she's sweet, and she's likable, and she's genuine, and she's working so hard. And it drives me crazy because she's like this, like, businesswoman who just, like, wants fast results. And here I am, like, just working my ass off for 14 years, and she's been doing it for two years. And she's like, we're not making, I'm barely making any money. And she'll tell me what she made for the weekend i was like zarna that is excellent money for a stand-up comedian who has been doing comedy for two years like for three years if if if she were just as distracted by getting laid as you were you think she'd be anywhere successful she is i mean come

on you have to divide your attention dude the funniest fucking thing in the world no i don't know i already told you this i was hosting in the world. Noam, I don't know if I ever told you this. I was hosting in the bar and Noam walked in, right? And somebody, I forget who told me afterwards, he goes, you know, Noam just watched your set. I felt like it went pretty well. And then he goes, Noam just watched your set. I was like, oh shit.

Like, did he say anything? He's like, yeah, he went up to me and he goes, that guy gets laid. You should see, I mean, he's brought in bona fide 10s. And I'll be honest. I never thought of that. I never thought of Eric Newman. There's comics I see like Jeff died. I'm like, oh, duh, he's hot.

You know. Newman, I never thought that. You never thought I was a good-looking guy? Did you make an embarrassing comment to him like you did to me when I was with a bona fide 10? No. No. And we've rehashed that a number of times. We don't need to get into it, but

no, I didn't really think in a new moment, I didn't think you were ugly. I appreciate that. Certainly. If that's the nicest you can do, then I'll take it. It didn't like a guy like this. Hold on. Pete Davidson is begging Kim Kardashian. He's a star. He's on SNL.

That's true. That's true. And not that he's an ugly guy or anything, but he's not Brad Pitt. But I just, I mean, girls go crazy for Eric Neumann. A guy like Des Bishop to me is obvious. I see Des Bishop. Yeah, that's a hot dude. Looks like James Bond.

Very good looking. And Neumann, I thought, eh. You know. No, I mean. Leave it to Beaver. I hope he didn't take that offensively that was the next thing he was well look to me look who cares look i this is comedy we're supposed to be funny first and foremost whether you're good looking or not it's like yeah you know that's that's not how i assess people but but um but i you did say that once you stopped paying so much attention

to you still pay attention to it at the shows that your career, you started to really focus a lot more on your career. I was talking about, I did Guys We Fucked earlier, the podcast Guys We Fucked. And I said this and then after it came out of my mouth, I was like, yeah, that's 100% true. This is like recently the first time in my life, very recently, that my career has become the highest priority over women. Well, but you're seeing results. When you see results and you got into something that you... You see, I've always said, I read somewhere that everybody says that in order to make money, people that work hard make money. The reality is that people that make money work hard. There's a feedback loop. And if you're encouraged and you're seeing results

and you're... Then... And look, if... Look, I don't have five hours of jokes like some comedians. I don't turn over a new hour every... If Netflix was offering me money, then I don't know

that I would have as many hours as Louis, but I would have more. And there is a feedback loop. And when you're getting results and moving forward, you're going to work harder and you're going to produce more. And Eric Strzok happened on something that he does that really started to work. And I think that got you going.

But the real test is when it's not working. That's where you really develop like the strength, like, like, because when things are going well, fine. But, but you know that,

you know, the thing, you know, you now know, even if you head into a period where things are not cooking, you know, you know, you've done it before and you know,

it can be done and you can do it again. Yeah. Do women ever, like, is there, is there an analog to a woman? I've never heard a woman like, yeah, I just do this to get laid. Like, I just, every night, I just, I can't focus.

I don't know any guy that says they do comedy just to get laid. But yes, of course, it's a big, the obsession. Like, a woman might be obsessed with meeting a man, companionship. I'm sure women want to have sex. I know that. I don't know what, yes. But like, the single- minded focus on the sexual release. I've never met a comic.

Is so male. I've never met a comic though that I think is just doing this to get laid. But I do think it's a big factor. But you can also get lost in it. Like I've seen comics also. I think we know some comics who they're just obsessed with the party culture. Name names. I wouldn't, but they're just obsessed with the party culture. They just want to get laid and they want to like, I truly want to be as great as I could possibly be. And if I had another chance

to say it on the Bobby's podcast, I would have probably phrased it, Nicole, this is for you. I would have probably phrased it as whatever my ceiling is, I just definitely want to hit. And that's it as far as success as far as like being the best artist i could be i just want to hit my ceiling i don't ever want to feel like i came up came up short because you can't control what your god-given ability is but you definitely can control your work ethic right that's why i was a big kobe fan i was obsessed with kobe you know i'm like you can't control your work ethic either but anyway go ahead no you that's probably an illusion well it be. And then we can get into issues of free will.

I think you control your work. Why wouldn't you be able to control your work ethic? Because the personality is also probably just part of your DNA. Part of your DNA, sure. But within your DNA,

you could control how much you push that. Yeah, again, I think it really is about being consistent and really putting the work in. I wanted to talk about another thing that I never would have come up with myself. That I'm good looking?

No. But I wouldn't have. But the fact that all these videos. No, you're ugly. I appreciate it. And apparently you are good looking. Who cares what I think? Apparently.

Move on. Who cares what I think? No, no, no, Dan. Dan, I've been trying to fuck you for so long. I care what you think, dude. Look, Ari Shaffir apparently is sexy. I mean, that's what I hear from a lot of women. You know, it could have

really knocked me over with a feather. That was a little actually more hurtful than mine. Who is like a really attractive guy? Who's really what? Who's the most attractive? Des Bishop.

Who's that other guy I mentioned? Jeff Dye. I think Jeff's really good looking. Jeff Dye. Nicole, do you have any thoughts on this? No, I want to know who you think. I know what Nicole's type is. Nicole probably thinks Pete Davidson's probably into him, right?

Am I right, Nicole? Just a yay or a nay quickly. Nay. No. No, I could have told you that. There's that guy, Ryan Long. Is that his name? Ryan Long, yeah.

I don't know who Jeff Dye is. I'm going to look him up. Des Bishop. I mean, Des is certainly his name? Ryan Long, yeah. I don't know who Jeff Dye is. I'm going to look him up. Des Bishop. I mean, Des is certainly a good-looking guy, but that's sort of like, wouldn't be like the first person that popped. He's like George Clooney-esque, you know, handsome, classically handsome type man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess, yeah, that's true. That's true. That's Jeff Dye. Jeff's very good-looking. Oh. And, um... Also, women are different.

Just like Eric. Women are different though, dude. There's like a reason why Perriell might think he's not good looking or doesn't like the way his smile... They're not going to answer it as black and white as a man would. Like, oh, he's really good looking or he's not.

It's just not me. Women have a larger variety of types. I do understand the Des Bishop, George Clooney thing, but I think that Jeff really looks a lot like they're a very similar sort of genre. Also, Russ Monee was very good looking. You know, I mean, we haven't seen him around here in a while.

Russ is good looking. But anyway. Okay. What was the next question? The question is the now almost every video certainly every stand-up video and a lot of non-stand-up videos are subtitled as you're saying that it's like closed captions you need to do that what it's something i never would have thought on my own but i'm doing it because that's what you do but what is the what is the reasoning for that is that people often can't uh you put put the sound on their phones when they're watching. Now, Kyle Dunnigan, who has got a huge

Instagram presence, doesn't do that with his sketches. Because he's doing impressions. So, he's doing impressions and he... The other school of thought is it forces you to watch it with sound if you don't have subtitles. That's the other school of thought. For jokes, you should definitely...

Oh, you have to! And it also has to be funny. It to be funny pops i think too a little bit like now that i'm analyzing it there's a certain visual i think it's a visually kind of interesting it pops at you and you can do stuff with the subtitles you can make them pop and you can use graphics also this will make sure like that's like the one it's probably the truest test to like how funny a joke actually is bless you on paper by just watching it and not listening to it. Because if you watch Sebastian Maniscalco, a lot of what he does is animation on stage. It's just being animated and loud. And he's brilliant at it.

But I'm saying if you read a joke, it's different than watching it. Are you dissing Sebastian Maniscalco? No, no, I love Sebastian. I love Sebastian. Am I dissing him at all. Yeah. But I'm just saying. You also make sure that you don't miss anything.

But stand-up is so much more than just the words, of course. But Sebastian's jokes work, actually. No, he's great. No, he's great. But I'm just saying, like, you're not seeing, like, he's one of those comics where, like. It's like a tell. It tells jokes work on the page. Right.

And they're also hilarious. But they don't work nearly as well. No, they work really well. Because Steve Babricant... Steve Babricant repeats them all the time. Yes.

And I see him when he does it to like my friends and they all always crack up whenever it's in a tell joke. I think that the... Well, every comic is different. Some comics, the words count for more

than other comics. I think probably the comic with the greatest where it wherein the delivery was uh most important was gilbert godfrey yeah and if you just spoke matter-of-factly and said um one of gilbert's jokes i'm trying to think like uh you know i i don't know um you know death to the three-name girl you know and I don't know, you know, Death to the Three-Named Girl, you know, and then Tiffany Amber Thiessen came out, and then Anthony Michael Hall came out, you know, without Gilbert saying, and then Tiffany

Amber Thiessen! You know, I think that the difference is vast between the words. That was good, Dan. I know. I do a reasonable impression, but not nearly good enough to go toe-to-toe with the people that do impressions. I know, with impressions, you have to be perfect as an impressionist.

You don't have to be perfect, but you have to be funny. You are funny with them. Dana Carvey used to do impressions that didn't necessarily sound exactly like his George Bush. Not like that. It approximates it. But it's not the most accurate George Bush

impression that you've ever heard. But it's accurate enough and it's just the most accurate George Bush impression that you've ever heard. But it's accurate enough. And it's just very, very funny. I think that you should do some of your Gilbert impressions for TikTok and Instagram. And I'll bet you anything they would do very well. And your Jackie Mason's hysterical. I've told you that forever. I don't know if the TikTok crowd is a Jackie Mason crowd.

Instagram. TikTok tends to be very, very young. Dude, not anymore. Dude, not anymore. Yeah, not anymore. Now it's everyone. I don't think Jackie Mason is your ticket to TikTok. But maybe that. No.

No, I mean, you might as well do my Mort Sahl impression. You know, these people don't care. Oh, did you see the Carlin documentary? I haven't seen it yet. I want it so bad. It's amazing, right? It's really good. I can't wait to watch it.

The only thing is, and I guess I understand why they did it, and I don't blame them at all, but I fantasize that they took out that famous bit of George Carlin saying the N-word, which is a really powerful statement about who George Carlin was and what he stood for. And it's a little bit...

Yeah, but the documentary would have become about that. I know. I said I know why they did it. For the greater good of the documentary. And I probably would have done the same thing. And yet I lament that in a documentary, which is meant to tell the truth about something that happened or some person, when you are forced to take things out of a documentary

because people can't handle the truth, that's a bad, that's an indictment of the times we're living in. You know, it was really disappointing to me. But I'm not criticizing it at all. I understand exactly why they had to do that. Where is the documentary available on? It's on HBO, right? It's HBO Max.

It's two parts. Apatow produced, right? Apatow directed, and boy, is it good. I mean, everything he does, I always want to watch. It's fantastically directed and edited. But on top of that, the source material is so incredible. Like the Patrice documentary, that really suffered from just not having that much compelling material. I think there's a Geraldo documentary coming out.

I just spoke with Marianne Geraldo. And I think that she said, do you know anything about this? No. I believe there's a Geraldo documentary in the works. I don't know. I don't think it's a secret. But the Carlin, he has his handwritten notes, stuff he

left to his wife, phone messages. Yeah. It's stacks and stacks of material. I was trying to think, if I do a documentary on me, they'd have nothing. They would have nothing. I don't have anything. What are you talking about? You have so much stuff. No I was trying to think, like if I do a documentary on me, they'd have nothing. Like they would have nothing. I don't have anything. What are you talking about?

You have so much stuff. No, you have to see this documentary. Well, I mean, it was the same thing with the gap. I don't have like, I don't leave my notes on.

I don't write everything out. I don't write stuff to my wife. You have like hundreds of hours of audio and video of you. Yeah, I guess I have that. They have email too. And also, yeah.

You have these podcast episodes. All those endless emails you send. Okay, I have to go. Okay, I guess I have that. They have email too. And also, yeah. You have these podcast episodes. All those endless emails you send. Okay, I have to go. Okay, I wanted to, uh, okay. Well, thank you, Noam. You stayed a lot longer than you had said you would. I have to attribute that to the fact that you were more interested in this conversation

than you anticipated being. No, I always thought I'd be interested. I'm telling you, I I'm pulled in six different directions. No, it's like that thing where you go, uh, like you a date, and you're not sure you're going to like the person, so you're like, we'll do one drink, and then it ends up going well, and you're like, he just had three drinks. Yeah, you're right. He had four drinks, five drinks.

He took shots all night. I'm going to have to stumble out of here. I once thought I picked up a girl in a bar. And he's still, he's not going. And it turned out that she thought I was the internet date she was there to meet. Stop it. Yeah. And only, things were going great.

And then at some point we realized, oh no, I'm not that person. Did you ever keep in touch with her? I was married at the time. No, I'm kidding. And you did take her to your... No, that she had to go find the guy that she was there to meet. If you die and we do a documentary about you,

I'm going to fine-track this woman down and interview her. Okay. What's her name? I don't remember. It was 15 minutes of my life. I didn't... But, I mean, I felt good about myself, you know? I wanted to...

I don't know if we're going to end with this, but I wanted to talk about this. Years ago, I had an idea for a book, oddly enough, called Real Books, Fake Excerpts, where I would have a real book, and I would write a fake excerpt, and I'd try to pitch this as a book to various... You did videos of it, too.

I did some videos on YouTube that didn't get much traction. You should do that on TikTok. But that's what I'm getting at. In the interest of doing something a little bit different than everybody else is doing, and not burning my stand-up material, I thought maybe I'll do real books, fake excerpts on

TikTok. He can't scream from back there. He said it was too highbrow. There's a market for everything, man. He said it was too highbrow. It may be. But the concept is very simple. They're real books and they're fake excerpts. Nobody reads. They don't have to read

because I'm going to narrate the fake excerpt from the real book. Nobody knows anything about books. But I will say the name of the book. I could do one as a sample. I could do one as a sample. If you're interested, I have three books up there that I was, because I wanted Nicole to videotape me

or Periel. Do you want me to bring the book? There are three of them up there. Do you need them? Well, I would need them because inside I have my fake excerpt in there. Oh, you actually put fake excerpts in there? I put fake excerpts in there. So the books, I got other ones at home,

but these books are Tears We Cannot Stop, Michael Eric Dyson, A Sermon to White America. Okay. The other book is Love, Death, Madness, and the Creation of Roger's Thesaurus.

Now, does anybody of the younger generation know what Roger's Thesaurus is? No. Do you know what it is? I know what it is. Do you know what Roger's Thesaurus is? No. Do you know what a thesaurus is? Yeah.

That may be good enough. And then the third one is Inside Hitler's Bunker. Yeah, I know. The Last Days of the Third Reich. You've heard of Hitler. Yeah. He was a German statesman. So which of these three would you like to hear the fake?

Hitler. Hitler. He's the only one I understand. Hitler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want to hear? No, this is a sermon to white America. But I don't, I don't, no, I don't want to hear that.

Hitler. All right, Hitler's, inside Hitler's. Hitler's a white supremacist also. Hitler's, inside Hitler's bunker. So this is the, this, the real book is inside Hitler's bunker, The Last Days of the Third Reich. Okay. And the fake excerpt is this.

This I wrote literally like 12 years ago. I don't know if it holds up. It was never good then, but back when Hitler was a bigger... Anyway, with Russian troops less... This is from the chapter... It doesn't matter. The battle begins, chapter one. Actually, no, it would be at the gathering storm go ahead with with russian troops less than a mile from the bunker hitler uh sorry i corrected something hitler had made his decision i would not change his mind

despite the pleadings of stuben fuhrer auto grunge there was simply no time for another game of ping pong grunge and gerbils would be declared co-bunker champions a desperate grunge That's from Inside Hitler's... power in 1933 would not be compromised. Goebbels would thus have the champion trophy all to himself, if only for a short time. That's from Inside Hitler's Bar. I got to chuckle, too. That's funny. That's not TikTok material. Well, maybe I'll try Tears We Cannot.

I'll do one more. Try to get a bigger laugh from this one. You lost your nerve, too. I lost my nerve. Yeah, I can tell from your delivery. You didn't sell it. All right. This is Tears We Cannot Stop

A Sermon To White America. Do you want to hear this one? Yeah. Distrust and dislike for those different than ourselves seems to be a regrettable albeit universal aspect of human behavior not to mention the human need to feel superior to others. Thus I would say to white America that in a perverse way

I understand the discrimination and racism historically exhibited toward African Americansan americans what i don't understand however and likely never will is why y'all so into bon jovi it's been 30 years how the hell are these guys still selling out stadiums the the wider the town the more they sell out i mean it's my life is a good song but i'm not sitting through all the other awful songs just to hear one decent tune. The Call to Sleep, by the way. Okay. Dude, I love that one because I hate Bon Jovi.

So I'm very into that one. Maybe I'll put that would be my first post. I don't understand. Did you bring those books here from home? Yeah, I brought them from home. Okay. Because if I videotaped them, I wanted me reading from the book as if I'm actually reading from the book. Yeah. Dude, try it, man if I'm actually reading from the book.

Yeah. Dude, try it, man. I'm telling you. Nobody else is going to be doing that. That's for Dan's goal. That would be funny if he started doing it. He did the hashtag. And then he just saw like a million other people just.

Well, then I would know I was on to something. Nicole, what are your thoughts? I thought that was great. I love the Bon Jovi one. What about the Hitler? That was a little over my head, I think. Yeah, you can't be too, you know, they can't be too high,

they can't be too highbrow. Yeah, simplify it. Like, you're not dealing with, like, major intellectuals here. Easy viewing. You've got to still make it, like, digestible

for the average person. Yeah, you've got to dumb it down a little bit. Okay, okay. Like, I have a brilliant Philip Roth joke that never works on stage because nobody knows who Philip Roth is.

Portnoy's Complaint is one of the best books of all time. Yes, it is. And you will be the only person. Well, I enjoyed Portnoy's Complaint a good deal. Portnoy's Complaint. Do I have any other? So we're not quite done here. I just want to see if I have any other questions regarding.

Do you have any questions, Periel, regarding the social media? I assume you also, because Periel, by the way, is a stand-up. I know, I know that. She just made $25 the other day. Well, I assume it's not quite what Zarna makes, but I assume that you want to also post stuff on social media.

Well, the fact that I'm even getting paid to do gigs for me is amazing. Zarna hasn't been doing it much longer than you have. You know what my therapist told me this morning? Compare, despair. Your therapist stole that from Alcoholics Anonymous. She said it was from Alcoholics Anonymous.

Comparison is the thief of joy. I mean, I'm not trying to compare myself to Zarna or anybody else. I adore Zarna. I think she's brilliant. And I hope that she becomes an absolute superstar, and I'm sure that she will. But that has nothing to do with me. If she becomes a superstar, it's going to hurt a little bit.

Why? That's ridiculous. It's going to hurt. It's the complete opposite. She's a friend of my sister's. So my sister tells me a few years ago, maybe like last year, hey, you know this Zarna Garg? She's like, her kid goes to school with my,

you know, her daughter was a good friend of my nephew's in high school at Horace Mann. And I figured, yeah, she's some housewife that's doing comedy. I said, nah, I never heard of her. Some housewife that's doing comedy? Yeah, that's what she was. She was some housewife that was doing comedy.

That is so offensive. And now she's taking my place. First of all, there's nothing wrong with being a housewife. That's what she was. No, but when you say it in your... That was my impression, that she was a housewife doing comedy. How the fuck was I supposed to know

she'd come in here and throw me out? First of all, there's nothing wrong with being a housewife. There is something wrong with that snide, derogatory, some housewife, as though that's A, not a real job. All right, there was some sniditude in there, because when I hear about somebody that's doing comedy, because so many people are doing it, I tend to dismiss it until I see otherwise.

You know what I think? I think that you're as good as the company you keep. And I think that you should be thrilled, and all of us, that we're so lucky to be in each other's company. So I would take that in the complete opposite way. You're always looking at the glass half-empty. I like Zoran. I'm just saying it's going to hurt a little bit with somebody that's been doing it, compared to me, a very short amount of time. I'm comparing and despairing. I'm doing exactly what they tell you not to do in AA, but I'm not in AA

because I can hold my liquor. So to answer your question, I, and to really sort of drive home the point of not comparing, I just started doing reels on Instagram not that long ago, really, in the past couple of months. I felt like I was always like intimidated to do that really um and I only have like 2,000 something followers on Instagram but I started doing these reels and I gotta say for me we've discussed this I mean for me like I'm getting like 7,000 views It's great It's amazing You gotta take the wins man

I think I'm doing well One minute I'm like oh I'm doing great And then I see fucking Matteo Lane's reels They're like insane I think he's got like 600,000 followers on Instagram Whereas like if you go down that path There's no happiness At the end of it

I wonder if Elon Musk compares and despises. I mean, he's at the very top. So unless he's comparing himself to God. Probably comparing Jeff Bezos. Who the hell would a guy like that compare himself to? Jeff Bezos. I wonder if that... He's richer than Bezos. Now, he might think I haven't

changed the world as much as Jeff Bezos, but he probably has. There's always some way, though. I think when you're that high up, the only people you have to compare yourself to are dead people. Look at Michael Jackson. Julius Caesar or George Washington.

No, no, you're completely wrong. But there's certain things, like, for example, he's just going to find a way to be unfulfilled in something. He'd be like, oh, I'm investing in boats. Like, this guy made more money in boats today than I did.

You know what I'm saying? Look, if I had Elon Musk on this podcast, which is very unlikely, but I would ask him if he ever compares himself in his spirits. And the second question I would ask him is, how much money would he pay to go back in time? That's always been a thought I had. You're a multi-billionaire.

Would you pay... You got $200 billion. How much would you pay for a talking dog? And how much would you pay to go back and talk? Talking dog is a great one. Can I tell you something? I would much rather be talking to Eric than to Elon Musk. I would like to talk to both.

I'm not that... Who's better looking? Oh, you're better looking than Elon Musk. And Elon Musk, by the way, before his hair transplant, looked ridiculous. I couldn't take him seriously at all. I don't care how much money you have. Get out of here. By the way, you're lessening the chances of him coming on the pod every second you talk about him.

I think the consistency part, what Eric said, is really true. And the really sticking to it. You keep doing it until you figure it out. Well, according to Eric, there is no figure it out. If you want it. Well, according to Eric, there is no figuring it out. Well, there is. There's figuring out how to. You can only know what you know.

Like that's what I'm saying. Like you're never like even people who work at Instagram, who have worked there for 10 years, they can't tell me exactly what's going to make a video do well. I thought maybe there's some tips and tricks. The people are deciding. I know the people are, but the people are not completely irrational and random. There are thought processes and the algorithm. Yeah, there is.

I have videos like, if I look back, there was a streak I had for a had for a week where it was, like, 1.4 million, 4.5 million, on reels, 800,000, 300,000. And then all of a sudden, for, like, a month, it was, like, 35,000. Yeah, you lost it. 80,000. Yeah, you lost it. No big deal. 4,000. Anyhow.

No, yeah, you're right. It seems random. It probably is not random. You just have to figure it out. Or maybe it is completely and totally and utterly random no I don't think so but I think what Eric also said he said to you if somebody came to you and asked you how do you make

it in stand up you couldn't give them an exact precise but I wouldn't have no answer at all I'm giving you the same answer I'm saying be consistent what would you say to somebody who would say I would say this you want to make it in stand saying be consistent. What would you say to somebody who's consistent? Get on stage. I would say this. You want to make it a stand-up comedy?

First of all, I'd say to you, I'd say if your goal is money, there's certainly better avenues. But if you love stand-up, here's what I'm going to tell you. First of all, I'd say come into my office. Okay, here we go. First of all, obviously,

be as funny as you can be. Obviously, make the right friends to the extent that you can do so. Be nice to everybody. Be the opposite of Dan Aderman don't be angry and bitter and be good looking if you can do it since I couldn't do that I had to do the other things

but be interesting looking and you know I would say what about get on stage as much as you can? You haven't even put that... I said be as funny as you can be, which includes that. No, it doesn't include that. Of course it includes that. Get on stage... Yeah, but be as funny as you can be. That could include getting on stage as much.

That could include writing as much as you can. I always went by my instincts, okay? Everybody used to always tell me you gotta hang out, man. You gotta hang out at the clubs. You gotta hang out. I was very anti-hanging out. I felt like it was contrived. it was like just like i think worse like i didn't want to hang out just like whatever like just like hang out like you know like fucking loser who sits at the bar by himself and he's just like observing everything all night like

it's like i don't want to be that guy and you don't have to be but there is something to be said for making friends making friends there is something to be said for you know but you shouldn't force friendships with like the right people just to like like that was never my it's not your thing i'm not so sure it's ineffective i'm not saying it's ineffective it's worked for a lot of people i think it does work uh it may not be your thing it may not be my thing i mean my friends i i really i sure can't pick them boy i mean these people are going nowhere i mean lewis shaffer you know but these people are going you sound like the worst friend i i know they're dear wonderful people but i i'm never friends with successful people never friends with successful people do you know how heartbroken i would be

never if one of my friends went on a podcast and said that i'm going nowhere well yeah i say it tongue-in-cheek. The point is I never was comfortable with the kind of people that end up succeeding in this business for whatever reason. Dan has such a skewed conception of his... Like Amy Schumer. I never jumped on that. Amy Schumer, I was like,

I never felt a connection with her. That's just what it is. I was like, ah, she's okay. I never felt a connection with her. You know, and that's just what it is. That's okay. I never became her good friend. And, you know, it might have been beneficial had I done so. Of some benefit. It wouldn't make me a star, but maybe I'd have gotten a job writing on a show. Maybe I'd have been in her movie. I don't know, but it wouldn't have hurt.

That's for sure. Right. Listen. You can't force friendships. Yeah, I don't think that's really the point. I think the point is to do the best of you. If somebody said, how do I make it? If somebody said, how do I be artistically

fulfilled? I got another answer for you. If somebody says, how do I make it? I say, you stop at nothing. You kill, destroy, and stop at nothing. I'm kidding, of course but but but but it you know i think i think making it uh and and and and being funny are not necessarily everybody has a different path though too you know like i think that i came to this so late in my life and as a mom like i've had to really carve out like a very very very different path than what is like

sort of real books fake excerpts that is the key um tiktok success i don't know if it's a key to tiktok success but you got to pick different books though honey you got to do like the what's the that negging book what's that like you have to pick what's that popular books Oh, popular books. Pick, like, books that are, like, very timely. Well, it doesn't have to be a popular book. It has to be a book that's on a topic that I can do something funny with, like a sermon to white Americans. But they have to know enough about the topic to know that your fake excerpt is fake. Okay.

I thought Hitler's bunker was pretty clear. That they're playing ping pong in the bunker. I mean, when the Russians are closing in. That didn't seem. It's possible. I mean, maybe it's not funny, but it certainly doesn't seem like... I don't understand how anybody wouldn't get it. But in any case, I think we're about...

This was a good episode, I thought. I thought so, too. Noam wanted to stay for the whole thing. Can you plug something? And I think you were, by the way, I think you were absolutely right that Noam was hedging his bet. Didn't think he was going to enjoy it.

All of a sudden, he did. I'm not even going to ask Nicole what she thought because I know she loved this episode. Nicole, did you have fun? I had a lot of fun, yeah. By the way, that's as excited as she gets. Also, I don't think she grew up in Binghamton. Of course she grew up in Binghamton.

Don't contradict me. Is it Binghamton, Nicole? Yeah, well, just outside of Binghamton. Just outside of Binghamton, I guess. Binghamton was like the city for you. Yeah. Yeah, that was my big city. He wasn't going to plug the town.

That was like when they used to go to Mankato. Oh, my God. You know, that was their city. He wasn't going to plug the town on the outskirts of Binghamton. When going to the city is Binghamton, then you know you're from a place that's not very exciting. But in any case, do I have anything else to ask our expert TikTok expert? I'm not an expert. I'm just

learning like the rest of us. I think we've covered pretty much everything. Eric Newman can be found. On Instagram at I'm Eric Newman, E R I C N E U M A N N. And same thing at Tik TOK at I'm Eric Newman.

I can be found at Dan Natterman, D A N N A T U R M A N. And unlike Eric Newman, you can be one of the early adopters. Eric, it's too late. It's already, it's like,

it's not interesting anymore. You can really get in on the ground floor with you. You can get in on the ground floor and say, I know, I was Dan's 30 second follower, which I think would be pretty, pretty exciting. Also my book, Ira Spiro Before COVID is available on Amazon and you can read it for free, four free chapters on Kindle as a sample to see if you like it. I loved it. I thought it was absolutely phenomenal. I loved it. It made me

laugh and cry. Thank you, Perrielle. But enough about the Amber Heard Johnny Depp trial. Perrielle, where can we find you? At Perrielle Ashenbrand on Instagram. And thank you so much. Thank you, Noam. Thank you, Eric. Thank you, Perrielle where can we find you at perrielle ashenbrands on instagram and thank you so much thank you Noam thank you Eric thank you Perrielle and thank you especially

to our our miracle worker at the soundboard she is like Rachmaninoff at that soundboard Binghamton Zone or whatever town outside of Binghamton Zone, or whatever town she's from.

Outside of Binghamton. Outside of Binghamton. Nicole Lyons, who's also available for if you need, you know, if she does, what does she do?

You do all kinds of like video and sound stuff. Yep. You can contact her through here, podcast at comedyseller.com to inquire about hiring Nicole or to give us your comments,

questions, and suggestions. Thank you so much, everybody. See you next time. Later.