The Commercial Break - 1-900-TCB

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Starting point is 00:01:54 On this episode of the commercial break Feed me to a hungry snake and let the kids watch This is Bob of the Python and this is Brian the dead guy Let's get these two together. I feel like if we're gonna do something, let's make it interesting. Feed me to an alligator, have me eaten by a bunch of hungry, forest ants, something like that. I really though I'd be scared.

Starting point is 00:02:15 No, I'd be dead. What are they, you know? And that's one of those people. It's too for us, seriously. People watching. No, there's, please. Just know that it was my last will and testament here on CeliLoy for everyone to hear and remember.

Starting point is 00:02:26 He wanted to be eaten by a snake, sir. Officer, this is perfectly legal. Watch episode number whatever. Hi, I'm Michael Moore. I call the party line to meet new friends and to find out what's happening in town. Find out what's happening. Yeah, like people are just sitting around going and let me tell everyone about this happening event going on.

Starting point is 00:02:51 Hey, I'm Brian. I'm Brian from Shibou again with Concent, and I've been smoking meds for four days. Come over to my house, one, two, five, six party street. Find out what's happening in town. There wasn't a winner in that back then, so I guess maybe, maybe people found out what what's happening in town. There was no internet back then. So I guess maybe maybe maybe people found out what's going on sound. Hey, there'd be no about where a good party is. Yeah, come down to truck stop number 45. Stole three. There's a party going on. Sweet, I'll bring some beers. Just bring some Vaseline, son. I'll bring some beers.

Starting point is 00:03:24 Just bring some Vaseline, son. Oh God, they called it. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Awwww, yeah! It's the time for the commercial break! Wee! Take two! Alright, how are you doing out there? I'm Brian, this is Chrissy and Happy New Year.

Starting point is 00:03:45 Best of you, Chrissy. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. So glad you joined us for another exciting episode of the commercial break. Had you seen that they are now putting dead people in the scrondlesacks of trees. The best way not gonna explain it.

Starting point is 00:04:00 It looks like a big... I read about it, I haven't seen it. Looks like a big testicle. Okay. Looks like a little tree on top, right? Like haven't seen it. It looks like a big testicle. Like it looks like a little tree on top, right? Like a little sproutling. What do they call those a sproutling? It's a sproutling.

Starting point is 00:04:10 It's a little sproutling. I'm whacking near the sampling tree. Yeah. A little sproutling. And then it's a big nut sack. I mean, the thing is huge, right? And they stick a dead body in there. Like when you pass away, they stick in there.

Starting point is 00:04:22 Like curled up? Curled up. Like kind of in a... Feetal position. Yeah, like fetal position from once you came here you go. Yes. Is that what isn't that the old saying from once you came here You go I don't even know what when's means, but I think it's actually from hence you go from hence or when's call in right in about that And I'm not really sure it's more bullshit from Brian If you look you say it was such a thorey. Like many people on the internet are saying, great show, factual information, no bias here. I find out so much on this show.

Starting point is 00:04:51 Thanks. Can say, say. I've already wasted three minutes of your life trying to figure out whether Wenz or Hens is the word. It's a big ball, it's a big nut sack. That's the best thing I can explain. It does look like a testicle that they put in the ground and then the little sapling, like,

Starting point is 00:05:05 or the little stalkling or whatever you call it, is growing out of the top. So you become part of the tree's roots. You decompose, I guess the tree eats you. I'm not, are you feed the tree? Yeah, you feed the tree. You're all your new tree and said all that other stuff. I think it's kind of an interesting idea.

Starting point is 00:05:20 I'd prefer to be creamed, if you ask me, I just don't even, you know, I don't want my old bones rolling around somewhere. I just prefer to just cremated if you ask me. I just don't even, you know, I don't want my old bones rolling around somewhere. I just prefer to just like get, you know, dust it away or whatever. But I do think that it would, I- It could be kind of shocking for someone too. Like if you moved into a new house,

Starting point is 00:05:34 there's a tree out back, it's, maybe it's dying. And you need to dig it up and then, oh, surprise. Ah, surprise, there's a skull. Or what if you just like, you know, it's blooming one day, like, you know, and then there's like an eyeball pops out. That's brilliant. That's brilliant. Oh, that's Brian.

Starting point is 00:05:53 No, that's Brian's eyeball. Brian, the previous owner. Previous owner. Sad situation. He died of a podcast overdose. He's trying to get subscribers. So there's like this trend of doing cool things when you when you pass away. And I was thinking the other night, I think if you know, if I could be made into something like, you know, like maybe I'm much older than my wife is. So

Starting point is 00:06:18 maybe I could be made into like a, you know, a provocacour Jack rabbit 3000 with the extender. You know the provocacore Jack rabbit 3000 with the extender I just like the thought of knowing that yeah, you know whatever or you know What do they call it if it's part of the sex toy industry? I'm sure they're on that. That's right I'll feed me to a hungry snake or something. I feel like Feed me to a hungry snake and let the kids watch This is Bob at the path on and this is Brian the dead guy. Let's get these two together. I feel like if we're gonna do something, let's make it interesting.

Starting point is 00:06:53 Feed me to an alligator. I have me eaten by a bunch of hungry, Florida stance, something like that. I feel like that would be scary. No, I'd be dead. Unless I'm one of those people. It's scary for the people watching. No, there's are the, you know, unless I'm one of those people with, I'm scared for the people watching. No, there's, please.

Starting point is 00:07:07 Just know that it was my last will and testament here on Celi Lloyd for everyone to hear and remember. He wanted to be eaten by a snake, sir. Officer, this is perfectly legal. Watch episode number whatever. I watched episode number whatever. He said he wanted to be a dildo. I'm not sure this goes along with his estate switches.

Starting point is 00:07:29 TCPpodcast.com is where you go. You can read more about Chrissy and I find all the show notes and watch all the audio, watch all the video, listen to all the audio, leave us a message, info at TCPpodcast.com, send us content ideas, tell us what you like or you don't like, or you just want to correspond with us. Here, let me show you this. Here's another thing you can do.

Starting point is 00:07:47 You can go to youtube.com slash the commercial break to watch this episode right now. Make sure you subscribe. Look at this. Look at this. Well, I'm not sure. I love it. High quality plastic nylon. Right here. These things do not deteriorate in the first or second wash. You're going to get to at least wash number set. Look at that. Look how I can stretch that. You could probably, you know, wash number seven. Look at that, look how I can stretch that. You could probably, you know those commercials where they like that stuff that putty fills in the boat,

Starting point is 00:08:11 the hole in the boat, and the guys floating around, and he's like, this will never die! You'll never drown with super five, five thousand, or whatever they call it. I feel like this is made of the same material. This is swag, this is high quality shag, made in somewhere. And so what you can do is if

Starting point is 00:08:25 you leave us a message or send us some content ideas or you just get, you know, just drop us in line. I'll send you some free swag. Not to everybody, just to the people I like. So I'm just letting you know that right now. 470-584-8449 is where you can also leave us a text message or a voice mail, standard text messaging rates to do apply for those of you out of the country. Here's what you want to do. This is the last week to do it. You want to go to Instagram at the commercial break. You want to find the post about the $500 giveaway. Make sure you're following us.

Starting point is 00:08:51 Leave us a message about your favorite line from your favorite episode, tag a friend. You're entered into win $500 and go.gif card. You're going to gift card and you're going to gift card and you're going to gift card. No, just one person gets a gift card. I mean, unless you want to share it with somebody, that's completely up to you. But if you do that, then you'll, it will respond and you'll automatically be entered into win.

Starting point is 00:09:12 We'll choose our favorite comment on the July 7th episode. And then we're going to give it away on the July 9th episode. Something like that. That first week in July. On Tuesday, we'll pick on Friday. Hopefully we'll get the person all here on the show so they can accept their winnings if they're willing to be on the commercial break.

Starting point is 00:09:31 Okay, or you can go to youtube.com slash the commercial break and do the same thing. I understand you can't tag a friend but make sure that you're a subscriber, leave a comment under your favorite episode or on your favorite episodes video and you'll be entered into win. I feel like we've gotten many, many people

Starting point is 00:09:46 who have followed us from, I think, from this particular promotion. And they're interacting with us. And I think we're picking up a few fans along the way. But there are people who clearly have no, they are leaving comments about their favorite lines from their favorite episodes that I don't ever remember saying, you know?

Starting point is 00:10:00 Like, you miss a thousand percent of the shots you never take. And I'm like, I never said that. Why would I see that? Or I like the one where you talk about hand jobs. And I'm like, I never talked about a hand job ever. They just like make up random shit. And just know that if you're making up random shit, you are not going to be the winner. Because I want accuracy.

Starting point is 00:10:25 If there's one thing that Chrissy and I are a demand on the show, it's accountability and accuracy. Right. Just watch the end. Yes, hence, hence, hence,

Starting point is 00:10:35 hence, hence, it came, hence it goes. The accurate kind of reporting we do. That is the King's English right there. That's legal, jargon. You can take to the bank. Remember that episode?

Starting point is 00:10:52 It's so bad. It's so bad. I think that was about flat earthers. Anyway. And now it's time for the commercial break. If you're in the market for the products and services that our sponsors offer, please do us a favor and use our specialized URL and discount codes. It really helps the show.

Starting point is 00:11:11 It helps us create new content and keep it flowing for free. Hey everybody, I honestly could not be more excited about our brand new sponsor, Magic Spoon. So if you've been listening to the show, you know that my habit as a little child of sitting in front of the TV and eating endless bowls of sugary cereal has followed me into adulthood. Only now I do it late at night

Starting point is 00:11:31 when it couldn't be worse for me and I still love those sugary fatty cereals. Magic spoon is made for me. They made it directly for me. You wanna know why? Because it's zero grams of sugar. It's 13 to 14 grams of protein, and only four net carbs per serving. It's also only 140 calories per serving. How is it possible?

Starting point is 00:11:51 I don't know, but they sent us a free box of this cereal, like a free variety pack of this cereal. And Astor and I went to a party, and we ended up spending a half an hour talking about this cereal. It is that good. It is honestly so delicious. Better than some of the cereals I buy at the store. I don't know how they do it and make it so good for you, but they have done it. And for all of you on those specialized diets, it's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb, and GMO-free. The variety pack comes with four flavors, cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter. Obviously replicating some of your favorite sugary cereals when you were a kid. Here's what I did. I took some of

Starting point is 00:12:29 the cocoa and I mixed it with peanut butter and it's like a peanut butter cup. That's what it tastes like. It's so good. And the frosted tastes like cake. I'm not even kidding you. Cake, cereal cake. It's unbelievable. And I don't feel guilty after eating it late at night as I do with all of my cereals. Here's what you can please do. Go to MagicSpoon.com slash TCB to grab a variety pack and give it a try. Be sure to use the promo code TCB at checkout to get $5 off your order.

Starting point is 00:12:59 And MagicSpoon is so confident in this product, they are backing it with a 100% happiness guarantee. That means if you don't like it for any reason, they will refund all of your money. No questions asked. You have to give it a try. There's no reason why you won't like the cereal. MagicSpoon.com slash TCB magicSpoon.com slash TCB and use the discount code TCB to get $5 off. Thank you so much MagicSpoon for becoming our new sponsors. And please keep on sending me free cereal. I'll eat it. So we were talking about Clubhouse a couple of weeks ago.

Starting point is 00:13:30 And we were saying that, you know, please come and join our Clubhouse Club. And then last week we told you, don't forget about it, don't join our Clubhouse Club because it doesn't matter. Just want to make sure we're consistent. Consistency, accuracy, stability. That's what you're going to get from the commercial break. Just go back and listen from episode number one. which is want to make sure we're consistent consistency accuracy stability that's what you're going to get from the commercial break just go back and

Starting point is 00:13:48 listen from episode number one you'll clearly see you'll get that for a month all of our failed at each month there's a different dumb idea that we have that we never follow through on the only thing we've ever followed through on is making sure there's an episode here every week that's the only thing that we've ever followed through on so don don't believe us. I mean, you know, maybe, maybe you never know. We're thinking about it right now. So we had this brilliant idea that we would get on Clubhouse when the clubhouse was the hot thing, and then we'd invite people and they'd come. Yeah, we do our show on Clubhouse. Yeah, we did it one time and no one showed up. Well, no, we had like a couple of people show up, but then they left.

Starting point is 00:14:25 They stayed for an exactly 30 seconds. But then there was that one time when we realized we didn't have our microphones plugged in, so they couldn't. They were probably like, what is that? That was on fire side, I think. Oh, was it? Yeah, it was on fire side.

Starting point is 00:14:39 But I'm sure it happened on Clubhouse there. Yeah, we're just so bad at technology. Don't ask us. So we were, I was trying to explain Clubhouse to somebody this weekend that had not even on Clubhouse there. We're just so bad at technology, don't ask us. So we were, I was like trying to explain Clubhouse to somebody this weekend that had never been on Clubhouse. And I said, it's, again, I'm repeating myself when I say it's kind of like a party line from the 90s if you're familiar.

Starting point is 00:14:55 So for the kids who are not familiar about the 976 and 900 party lines, let me try my best to explain what was going on back in the 90s. Back in the 90s, you use your cell phone now, you pick up the phone, you dial a number and a very complicated series of wireless transactions happens to get your phone call from one place to the other. It goes from your phone to a computer to a box, to a system to a space down back, there's

Starting point is 00:15:22 a person involved pressing a button. I'm not even really sure, don't it? But I know that the phone call gets from one place to the other. But back in the day, we didn't have wireless cell phone technology, or at least it wasn't very robust. Maybe a few rich people had cell phones. The car phones. The car phones, right, which were like 16 and a half pounds and cost $700 a minute to

Starting point is 00:15:43 make a phone call. Because then literally someone had to like, I think someone was like running the signal from one place to the other. They actually had to deliver a tape. They put it on CD and then they'd run and they go, here's a brand said, go back this way. Oh, cell phone. What's that? What's that?

Starting point is 00:16:02 It's a thing you make phone calls on. Oh, interesting. Is that kind of like a Jack in the rabbit? What's a Jack in the rabbit? Back in the day, we used to write messages on the back of a Jack in the rabbit. Slap him on the button, see where he went. Go, finish him a wife.

Starting point is 00:16:20 So we had a phone on the wall. Every family had a phone on the wall. Yes. Every family in the world had a phone on the wall every family had a phone on the wall Yes every family in the world had a phone on the wall and that phone is in the kitchen and the kitchen Why was in the kitchen? I guess because we spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Yeah, that's what it was the main room That's right. Well someone would ring you up Mm-hmm and the whole house would run to get the phone right because we didn't know who was somebody getting the phone Get the phone It could be the post office telling us about a package to being delivered in six to twelve weeks Get the phone. I'm waiting for a phone call from the CD of the month club. Oh

Starting point is 00:17:00 Get the phone Get the phone. It's the only way we'll ever know anything's happening is if we get this one phone call right now! You would imagine how long it would take for things to get done back then because you had a way for the phone call and if you weren't there, you weren't there. And then maybe you got a message on the answer machine but guess what? Then you had to call them back and then you'll leave a message on their answer machine. It was very complicated back then.

Starting point is 00:17:25 But there was a phone on the wall and you would pick it up and somebody would be magically talking to you. Now back then we thought this was the shit's tits. I mean, we were like, holy shit. And if you got your own phone as a teenager, you were just like, yeah, you were the coolest thing that ever happened. Some people had their own lines.

Starting point is 00:17:39 I had my own line for my 15th birthday. I got my own line, Kevin got his own line, mainly because I think my dad was like, fuck this whole shit. I don't ever get to talk on the phone. I got my own line, Kevin got his own line, mainly because I think my dad was like, fuck this, bro, shit. I don't ever get to talk on the phone. I gave missing phone calls, which is Brian's, making plans to meet whatever Hussie at the rectory of church. So he can get a hand shandy in the back of the

Starting point is 00:18:01 altar boy, closet. So he had this phone on the wall and then you would answer the phone. And if you were really awesome, you would have a long phone. Oh, the long cord, yeah. It's the long cord. The one that could go into the other room.

Starting point is 00:18:18 Your parents were cool if you had the long cord. Because if you had the long cord, you could walk around the corner and talk where everyone could probably still hear you, but at least to give you the ed. People would have the limbo, do the shimmy under the court. That's right.

Starting point is 00:18:33 But yeah, you could be private. Oh, that's right. Yeah, now the court was going everywhere and people would go under it and over it and on top of it and hey, can you go over here because I'm trying to make dinner and all this other shit. I mean, but in the 90s, there was a trend came about. And that trend was called 900 or 976 numbers.

Starting point is 00:18:51 If you had the prefix 900 or 976, then that meant it was a paid line. You were being charged by the minute to make that phone call, not like a long distance phone call, but they were actually charging you. And some of these were like outrageously expensive $10 for the first minute 399 with each additional minute and I mean those were the sex ones those were the sex ones right because they got you And did that girl would be on the phone with you all night long. Yeah, she knew how to get you

Starting point is 00:19:18 Thanks for calling secret passions. This is bad. What's your name? Hi, I'm Brian. oh Brian you sound like you have a big hard boner I do I do I'm so excited what do you look like oh what do you think I look like what do you want me to look like I don't know I've got a poster of Pam Anderson on my bed right over my bed right now you think I look like? What do you want me to look like? I don't know. I've got a poster of Pam Anderson on my bed right over my bed right now. I think you look like Pam Anderson.

Starting point is 00:19:50 Oh, you know, and you're just in luck. I'm blonde and bucks him, and I'm waiting for your hard boner to come close to me. Can you put your boner next to the phone so I can talk to it for five to ten minutes? Right. Yeah, I can. Okay, make sure you keep it down there.

Starting point is 00:20:12 I'm going to talk dirty to it. Okay. Hi, boner. Excuse me while I go get ready. I'll be back in 15 to 20 minutes. Don't hang up now. I won't. You keep that phone near your bouncer. Don't worry. I'll be back. Yes. Meanwhile, it was Bob from Shaboykin was constantly were talking to her. Exactly. Hey, there's this Betty Lou. What do you look like?

Starting point is 00:20:45 Ah, Betty, you sound like a little bit like a man. Oh, that's just because I've been smoking cigarettes for touching myself waiting for you to dial in. Now, I have to ask you some questions. Did you get your parents permission to make this phone call? Oh, yes, I did Okay, are you ready for a seven to twelve hour sex adventure?

Starting point is 00:21:13 I guess I think that's okay with my parents Great. I just need you to press one and approve the following chart 700 and fifty six dollars and 22 cents for the first minute 622 dollars for next each additional minute. Okay, let's get started. What do you look like, Brian? I'm really tall and I've got hair on my chest and my balls. I'm already been through puberty. I'm a man.

Starting point is 00:21:42 I'm a been through puberty. I'm a man. I'm a real man. Sweet, let's get started. Want us to go downstairs, take off your clothes, and spend five to ten minutes getting ready. I'll be back. They got you every time. It was always some ploy to get you to spend more time on the phone with them. I'm going to put the phone next to my tits for 26 minutes. I want you to put your phone next to your dick for 26 minutes and we're going to rub them together.

Starting point is 00:22:11 Oh, sweet. But then they weren't all sex lines. You could also call the party line. Yes. It was like a second. They made you think it was a sex line. They made you think you were going to get laid instantaneously for calling the party line, right?

Starting point is 00:22:22 You called 976, whatever, chit chat, or whatever it was. And the commercials always made it seem like there was some hot, attractive people. It was hot people, yeah. Of course. There's all talking, hangin' and laughin' together. Oh! Oh!

Starting point is 00:22:35 Oh! We're having a party. Yeah. I found Billy on the party line last night. We hooked up today and we've been having fun. Why don't you call? It's like, oh my god, I want to be with her. Don't worry, Billy just died in a horrible caudoo accident. I'll be on the line. So you call, but this is what it sounds like.

Starting point is 00:23:02 And you'd be like, what? Who said, huh? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Everybody else was trying to talk. They put 12 people on at the same time. And everyone was talking over each other. And so what you ended up becoming was a voyer

Starting point is 00:23:16 of somebody else's conversations that were not sexy, not interesting. But by the time you figured it out, you were already $600 into the phone call. So you might as well just stay on for another couple hours and hang out with everybody. So I called these lines a few, I've said this before, I called these lines a few times and I got in some trouble and my dad was really pissed. You know, because I had, I had my own line. So even though I tried to deny that I was the one who made those phone calls, clearly it came from my room at three o'clock in the morning.

Starting point is 00:23:42 My dad was not convinced, convinced. Dad, I don't know what that's all about. I wouldn't make that phone call. Patrick. Patrick. I mean, no, Patrick's six. I thought I heard Patrick in my room the other night. Oh, you did.

Starting point is 00:23:58 He's still on his crib. I know, he's an escape artist. A little bastard coming in my room, making phone calls at 3 o'clock in the morning. Oh my God, my dad, I can't believe my dad had to come directly off his shoulders. He had four boys, can you imagine? Four boys, all of us trouble in our own way,

Starting point is 00:24:16 but I was mainly the trouble maker. I was a trouble maker and everybody else followed suit. But so what I thought I would do is, you know, listen, and I got, I want to thank our good friend, William, the Wonderboy for prompting me to do this sooner than I would have otherwise done it. I actually put this on my list of things to talk about, and then William sent me some YouTube videos

Starting point is 00:24:39 where they have these commercial, old commercials from the 90s. Oh, nice. The 976 numbers. And so I thought it might be interesting to take a look back on the time when we were all doing 976 phone calls, 900, so we were maybe not doing it, but we were watching them.

Starting point is 00:24:52 Now remember, these commercials only played very late at night. Only if you were up past, I think it was 11 or 11 30. Yes. Would you ever hear these commercials listen to how just how awful some of these commercials are? And I'm leaving the phone numbers in, by the way. Don't call them, because I don't know what that... Actually, that's an interesting thought.

Starting point is 00:25:10 Yeah, at least. I wonder if any of these numbers, should we call one on air? Maybe that might be an idea. Let's get through some of the commercials, and then we'll go for it. Here we go. Ready? These are 90s, 976, and 900 numbers. He thinks he could do that to me, and I won't tell anyone?

Starting point is 00:25:24 Well, I 900 numbers. He thinks he could do that to me, and I won't tell anyone? Well, I am telling. Here's startling secret confessions, called 1,900, 7,000. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Startling secret confessions. Okay. Startling. Meanwhile, you call it,

Starting point is 00:25:37 hey, what you up to? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Nothing, where's the startling secret confessions? Oh, no, I'm waiting for him to start. I don't know. There's some chicken here a few minutes ago, I'm waiting for him to start. I don't know. There's some chicken here a few minutes ago. I asked her for a blowjob. She left. I'm too embarrassed to tell my best friend, but I've got to tell someone. I'm too embarrassed to tell my best friend, but I've got to tell someone.

Starting point is 00:25:57 I've got to unload it off my chest. I've got to unload it off my chest. I've been sleeping with the poor boy, Billy. Let me tell you all about it in graphic detail. The story will take 30 to 45 minutes. Press one to accept. Listen in privacy to women sharing their innermost feelings. Well, listen to privacy with 12 other people on the line. Listening complete secrecy. It's 12 other people talking about nothing. Listening in secret to 12 people trying to figure out how to say hello with 12 other people on the line. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Starting point is 00:26:38 Call 1-900-3700-9200. I can't believe you're telling me this. Secret confessions. Call 1-900-3700-,200. I can't believe you're telling me this. Secret confessions, call $1,900, $3,790, $9,200. $2 for the first minute, $1 for each additional minute. $2 for the first minute, $1 for each additional minute. That is highway fucking robbery. Yeah, that is. And this is back 20 years ago.

Starting point is 00:26:57 Those companies were making serious money. Crazy money. This is a racket I want to get in on. And by the way, everybody did get in on this. Yeah. Because even celebrities had their own lines I know we have a few of those coming up particular Recently we asked some frequent callers why they dial the one 999 5372

Starting point is 00:27:18 Recently we asked some frequent callers why they dial the 999 42727-3344-674-217-7897 number. And by the way, there was no cell phones. You couldn't capture a picture. There was no DVR. So if you didn't catch that incredibly complicated phone number the first time, you were screwed. That's true. That's true.

Starting point is 00:27:36 Hi, I'm Gigi DeLail, and I use the party line to meet new friends. Hi, I'm Michael Moore. I call the party line to meet new friends and to find out what's happening in town. Find out what's happening! Yeah, like people are just sitting around going, let me tell everyone about this happening event going on. Hey, I'm Brian. I'm Brian from Shiboha, in Wisconsin, and I've been smoking meth for four days. Come over to my house, one, two, five, six party street. Find out what's happening in town.

Starting point is 00:28:10 There was no internet back then, so I guess maybe, maybe people found out what's going on in town. Hey, do you know about where a good party is? Yeah, come down to truck stop number 45, stall three. There's a party going on. Sweet, I'll bring some beers Just bring some Vaseline son. Oh God. They called it. Yeah, they got they called it and figure out what was going on

Starting point is 00:28:33 How many people do you think actually met up because of these calls zero zero people met up How many people got informed about what was going on in their town because of these party lines zero Hi, I'm just say my weekends are never before my new party going friends. Oh, oh, wow Yeah, it was a bit My weekends are never a book with all my party line friends. I bought this tiger Someone stole me the tiger on the party line I got a tiger for free Party line friend. Hey, what's going on in town this weekend? Oh, I got seven tigers. Do you want one?

Starting point is 00:29:22 By the way, how fucking stupid were we back then? How stupid were we? Yeah, it's bad. I'm never alone with my new party line friends, and we're all sitting at home like, yeah, why am I alone on the weekend? I should call 976-1237-7572. Oh, that's a party line friend. I wanna meet some party line friends.

Starting point is 00:29:40 Only $2 for the first minute, 95 cents for each additional minute. That's $1,900,999-5372 additional minute. That's $1900, $999, $537, $2. Which is to catch you phone line, by the way, $999, $125, $775, $5. Yeah, he did a good job. Good job on that one. By the way, notice he said it's only $2 for the first minute, $0.95 for each additional minute. I wonder why the first minute was so expensive.

Starting point is 00:29:59 I guess because you hang up pretty quickly. It's like, you call and no one's there. Hello? Is anybody know what's going on in my town? I need to know about events in my town. No son, but do you want to tickle your balls with my mouth? All right, that was my girlfriend Tasha. She's telling me that this guy called me over like,

Starting point is 00:30:28 come on up, boom, you have fun for a night. Anyhow, he's telling me a joke. You know, I just can't stop laughing. How bad are these converses? Really bad. I was just talking to my friend Tanya and Tanya was telling me about this guy that I talked to the other night. He told me a joke and I couldn't stop laughing.

Starting point is 00:30:45 Did you notice I'm not wearing a brawl? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's only a dollar a minute and it's fun. We talked about everything. We talked about everything. I agree with that. We talked about everything. Ha! The producers of this commercial gave me some heroin. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Starting point is 00:31:16 I've been like this girl was doing this against her will. We talked about everything, including how I'm gonna escape. Ha! This den of aniquities. Now listen to the saxophone of the background. It's the saddest saxophone I've ever heard. Yeah man.

Starting point is 00:31:33 Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man, yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man.

Starting point is 00:31:50 Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man.

Starting point is 00:31:58 Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man., this was a thing. Yeah. Listen, then celebrities got into it. Yeah, I know the psychics.

Starting point is 00:32:07 Yeah, the psychics, but the celebrities would have their own phone number. You know, hey, want to know more about me? I'm the girl who recently starred in the TV movie, Alone With Dan. A long night with Dan. You want to find out about my intimate secrets? Call 777-

Starting point is 00:32:24 Shocking. Yeah. Sh shocking secrets about how I got famous I actually think I remember this commercial 1909 rap and this is the Christmas version of their commercial 1909,09 wrap and this is the Christmas version of their commercial you know, a pp uh 1909,09 wrap. Yeah, it's all a pp I think wait 1909

Starting point is 00:32:52 1909, 1909 wrap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap

Starting point is 00:33:02 rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap It is Christmas. And they called me 909 RIPPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAP Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- The list is kids before your dog gets a pass for missions. Go right now, share Santa Pippa holiday. Two hours or first minute 45 minutes each additional minute. Uh-huh. Are you up for a little adventure tonight? Oh, you know I am. Perfect.

Starting point is 00:33:56 Call Nightline for hundreds of local guys and girls. By the way, I just want to let you know that nightline, this particular thing is still around today. Okay. They still have commercials. There are still party lines today. Oh, yeah, yeah I've seen the commercial Nightline to find out what's going on It always shows like now the commercials they show some girl coming home from a bar Yeah, you know, she's at the bar and she's like this is boring

Starting point is 00:34:18 She's being hit on by a bunch of guys and I was paying for conversational Yeah, I really wish I could call my party line. I just want to get back home so I can pay more money. I can... I'm gonna leave that one alone. Our connecting right now. Record an ad. Describe yourself and what you're into.

Starting point is 00:34:39 New callers receive a complimentary free trial. So what are you waiting for? Call now and get in... Hi, I'm Billy. I'm in anything with a pussy. Call me back. You're a personal life. I'm Billy. I'm into butt play. Call me back. My name's Joe. I got a scrindle sack waiting for you. Go back! D'A-3! To the action, don't miss out. Find out who's waiting to connect with you.

Starting point is 00:35:11 Right here on Nightline. Try it free. Call 1-877-609-3888 now. So I told him to come on up. Here's shocking, intriguing true confessions. Call 1-900-246-1212. I promised that I wouldn't one two one two I promise that I wouldn't tell a soul I promise that I wouldn't tell a soul but I'm I'm liar I don't remember the confession one the confession ones were I was so it but here's a thing now listen

Starting point is 00:35:39 I think it's this one where they say at the end they say for women only because you know as soon as they say for women only Every guy in the world's picking up the phone to find out what women are talking about. Oh, I know my wife Reed is calling that number. I better find her on there. But if you really want to know, dial 1912461212 for fascinating, alarming innermost secrets alarming I Just murdered my husband right Right there's blood on the phone

Starting point is 00:36:12 Can someone help me could someone help me press one to continue this call I didn't think I'd have the nerve, but what could I say? I really like him. That's one nine. I didn't think I'd have the nerve What could I say? I'm talking convention. That's a shocking convention I didn't think I'd have the nerve, but I went ahead and cut off his piece 10246122 dollars for the first minute 95 cents for each additional minute for adults only For adults only. Selective introductions to the beautiful people and their private phone numbers are waiting for you 24 hours a day. Call 1-905-

Starting point is 00:36:59 Listen to the music! Private! Fuck up, fuck up, fuck up! I'm a big with beautiful people. Yeah. And their private phone numbers. For introductions to other human beings and their private phone numbers listed in the white pages, call us now. For information you can get from free from 411 call us now.

Starting point is 00:37:22 Beautiful people like Terry. Sure, she's missing an arm, but she's hot to trod. 105,000 for those private phone numbers. Five dollars a call, adults only, for selective introductions to the beautiful people. And those private phone numbers call one nine hundred five hundred five thousand. Now, here's the thing about the numbers that had a flat fee, right? Or the numbers where they said they had other phone numbers,

Starting point is 00:37:49 right? Because they started getting smart. First of all, when they say adults only, they realize that mostly children are calling them, mostly children are calling them, because we're all horned up and ready to go. And there's only everything but a squeaky. We can drive you.

Starting point is 00:38:02 And the only thing there is, is like a squiggly tit every once a while on the cinematics channel your dad didn't pay for, right? That's all squiggly tit, quick, come. Ha ha ha. First of all, second of all, you know, teenagers are mainly up at night, carouseling. I mean, they were just bilking parents

Starting point is 00:38:19 out of millions of dollars, first of all. Second of all, they realized, I think eventually, that there were, if you wanted to get people hooked, what you did was you gave them a free phone call for like two minutes, right? And so it would be like, Hey, my name's Susie, I'm waiting for your big hard, you know what? Come right in my mouth. But first, we've got to go to another private phone number to keep this conversation between you and Dial 3332211 are you ready? I don't think so my dad didn't hey get some balls Grow some hair

Starting point is 00:39:03 Grab yourself by your scrundal sack and get ready to explode. But first call 333-2211. Right. Yeah, so it was like a series of phone calls that you would make. Charging you all along the way, right? They were just getting you deeper and deeper until you exploded. I guess I'm not sure. Do it now.

Starting point is 00:39:25 Do it now. Do it now. Do it. I'll bill these things don't work. And I'll bill these things don't work. What are you talking about? I've heard there's nothing but a scam trying to get money out of you with your phone bill. I met Mary on this line, didn't I?

Starting point is 00:39:41 What's the number of that party line again? They say I got Mary on the phone. No, he said I met Mary on this line, didn't I? And's the number of that party line again? He said I got married. No, he said I met Mary on this line. Didn't I? And by the way, in the commercial, he's like standing next to Mary with his arm around her and they're at an office. Hey, I brought my slutty phone line girlfriend with me to the office to convince everybody else to come. Hey, did you meet Mary? She gave me a hand job over the phone the other day. And now we're together forever.

Starting point is 00:40:11 Go ahead, Bill. Give it, Bill. I see you've been in the slumps. Go ahead and give 9993322 a phone call. You're gonna gizz all over yourself and meet a hot girl like I did. Look, she's here right now in real life with me. We lived in the same building.

Starting point is 00:40:28 It was unbelievable. She traveled across country to live with me via via Amtrak. She was homeless just two days ago, not now. She's my new wife. Not now. She's my new wife. She was a prostitute on Tuesday, and now she's my girlfriend. She's only charging me 30 cents a minute

Starting point is 00:40:53 to be in real life. It's a deal. I was paying $2. I was paying $2. I was subordinate on the phone. But now she's charged me 30 cents. Oh my God. Hey Mary. Not that party line, the party line.

Starting point is 00:41:09 976. 8881. 976. 8881. I'm just going to listen in. Hi, this is Jill. We just came in line. Hi Jill, I'm Michael.

Starting point is 00:41:21 What the sign are you? I'm Michael. I'm a Pisces, I'm a chi-Michael. Call now. 8'm Michael. What's the sign are you? I'm Michael. I'm a Pisces. I'm Michael. Call now. 881. Call now. 881. Oh, wow.

Starting point is 00:41:32 What? Uh. Oh my god. Call 81. Call now. Call 81. What's your credit card number? Yeah. That's a tie. That's a tie. Fighting with your heart and cash. 81, yeah, 88, one, what's your credit card number? Yeah,

Starting point is 00:41:45 that's a time that I'm talking with your heart and cash. Yeah. Hi, what's your sign? What's your sign? I know. How dumb were we back then? What's your sign? Women were just an obscure object to be

Starting point is 00:42:01 algal that and pretended by it, right? And men were just, I guess we just, I don't know. I mean, who would use that line? But they're putting it right there in the commercial. Hey, what's your sign? Because then you know everybody else who called that was like, hey, what's your sign?

Starting point is 00:42:14 Fuck off asshole! Body of entertainment, present, pop music, new sensation, the Hall of Dool. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Call me I've got news you can use straight up. She's gonna tell you everything call 1 999 1800 now Straight up to the telling you everything Call me twice enough engine. I got pictures you call it twice and you send an autograph picture Oh wow That's probably worth as much as my dick Tracy shit is worth right now

Starting point is 00:43:01 But you was in on that. That's probably worth as much as my dick Tracy shit is worth right now. You've probably paid more for the phone call than that thing is worth right now. Yeah, call me twice. Yeah, I want to add. I'm putting this call out there to any, all of the many listeners of the commercial break.

Starting point is 00:43:18 If you ever got an autographed picture from a phone call to Paula Abduel, can you please let me know info at tcbpodcast.com because we gotta have you on the show. Or I at least gotta know the story. You don't have to tell me your name. I don't know what secrets she told though. Dumb shit, I'm sure.

Starting point is 00:43:38 Right? Hey, it's me, Paula Abdua. My favorite color's red. My favorite color's red. I'm wearing a pink dress right now. I just got these Toma Matolas shoes. Do you want to know how I became famous? Press one for additional charges.

Starting point is 00:43:53 And then when it's like, you know, I met Tom, you know, whatever, I met David Geffen at a party. And now I'm famous. Press dude to learn about my dog Coco. Press three to accept additional charges. Press four for your autograph picture. Xerox locally. Right.

Starting point is 00:44:16 Yeah, you know, she didn't know to grab any of those pictures called twice. First minute, 45 cents each extra minute. Kids ask your parents permission. Paul is on a rocket to start. Call me now and find out why. up the phone call that find out why Was she actually telling people why she was rather rocket to start him? I think it's my good looks, but I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah, she had one hits all a great choreographer. Yeah, she was

Starting point is 00:44:42 She was choreographer for like Michael Jackson. Yeah One hits on a great choreographer. Yeah, she was. She was choreographer for like Michael Jackson. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm not a big fan of other people. Molly Kruir, I'm not sure out of it. Call 1-900-909-1800.

Starting point is 00:44:52 Call me now. Coming out. Must be 18 years of age, a older carrier, or long distance charges may apply. Where are other single people in New York? Oh, I don't know. They're on the party line. That's where they are.

Starting point is 00:45:10 Not Studio 54, CBGB or any one of many hundreds of thousands of incredibly interesting places in New York. They're on the party line. Allowed at home. That's right. Oh, whacking each other off over the phone. They're on La a life voice. It's the best way to meet other exciting local singles. And it's so easy. Record a greeting. Hi, this is Jen. I love music. I'm

Starting point is 00:45:35 going and I love to have fun. And I'm looking for someone who shares my interest. So if this sounds like you, leave me a message. Wow, Jen, how incredibly vague is that? I love music and breathing. And I love to have fun. Yeah I love to have fun. Hey when people say that I'm a people person. Oh really you are you're a people person who's not a people person. Everyone's a people person. Listen to greetings. I am Rob I'm five eleven. James here I'm a phleg'm five 11. James here. I'm a flatic. I own my own business. Exchange messages.

Starting point is 00:46:07 Hi, Greg. This is Jen calling. And see what happens. Great message. I would love to meet you. Greg message. You said you have fun. Oh, I give you five stars for your message.

Starting point is 00:46:21 Great message. Shut up, Greg. Did you just message back and forth? Yeah, what do you were viewing her? You were viewing her message? Your message was a big dot steaming spiral. Shit. You're not getting a phone call back from me. Message me back. Hi, I'm Greg. I like breathing. I have teeth. And I watched TV. Call me back. That's a great message. That's a great message. Hey, if you guys met Greg, he's really good. He's really good at messages. I I'm Greg I have hair. I like listening and I walk

Starting point is 00:47:07 That's kind of message you leave people I give your message a great hot-steaking shit. Oh Here comes Greg. He's really great at messages everyone settle down I was on that party line the other night, but I don't know no one's called me back. You should call Greg. He knows all about messages Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I wonder if Greg and Jen are still together? No, no. Probably. You know how these stories always work out. Exactly. Have a coffee dinner. Lavalife Voice.

Starting point is 00:47:55 It's exciting, fun, totally confident. I have a drink coffee and that keeps me up. Financial and it's always free to call. It's always free to call, but once you get there, you got to pay for everything. Free for the first five seconds. And the best part, there are hundreds of local singles on Lava Life Voice right now. So don't delay, call the number on your screen right now. Who is friends ready, Krueger is on your phone.

Starting point is 00:48:23 Oh yeah, okay so- You're scary, what? Yeah, okay. So the scary one. Yeah, so there was the part, okay, so clearly there's party lines, there's sex lines, there's confession lines, there's all kinds of lines, rap lines, all kinds of lines. And like I said, then all of a sudden there was a trend

Starting point is 00:48:35 back and I would say probably the early 90s, there was a trend of every movie had to have a party line, like every upcoming movie. So this is Freddie Krueger for those of you that don't know Friday Nightmare on Elm Street, not Friday the 14th, Nightmare on Elm Street, line like every upcoming movie. So this is Freddie Krueger for those of you that don't know Friday nightmare and I'm Street I'm Friday the 14th nightmare and I'm street which is a classic movie. You gotta see at least number one There's like 12 of them, but you know see the first one. Yeah, this is Freddie Krueger But but not the real Freddie Krueger. This you can tell this isn't his voice

Starting point is 00:48:57 I'll this number now. I've got some tales to tell Freddie's favorite bedtime stories This sounds like whole coagulants. Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm going to eat your mommy's face off! $2 for the first minute, $4.5 for the decision, when you get to get your baby's marriage for calling. I'm pure nightmare fuel! Yeah. Er, dead time stories. Oh, brand new and straight from my boy room to your home. It's pretty cool, but on your phone. So dial this number now if you dare.

Starting point is 00:49:51 Tell him, get it, Sitcher. $2.45 each additional minute. I feel like I did call this line, actually. I'd tell him I call it Logan. It does, doesn't it? Hey, brother! It's me, Freddy Primer! I'm the stuff of nightmares. What you're gonna do in Freddy Krueger?

Starting point is 00:50:13 What you're gonna do in Freddy Krueger murders you. What you're gonna do in Freddy Krueger bludges you and your mire and then your mom and your dad all today? Make sure you're permission before you go Children get your parents permission before you dial children You've already talked to an attorney having to it's miss Cleo. Oh, there she is while I contested. I'm trying because I see what was one a woman as one as well as one a man. Yeah, yeah, I'm looking at the male attorney here as a night of cup. I'm also looking at the cleanup cup here. Amazing, Miss Cleo. How did you ever guess that the attorney

Starting point is 00:50:56 might be a man or a woman? She was psychic. After all. See if sensing someone someone with a heartbeat in your future. I'm sensing someone that breathes oxygen. Is he out there? I think she's giving her advice about a divorce. Yeah she's saying listen it's gonna end ugly. This is why I'm just clicking with J.O. This is why Miss Cleo went to jail Thank you It's going to be messy I can't fix that for you darling. It's going to be messy. You're going to lose all your money You'll probably never love again Thank you Thanks for the advice miss Cleo great to talk to you

Starting point is 00:51:45 Gonna go jump off the I-95 Bridge now. Have a good day, dear! A free reading! 287-9960-804 6804, that was a good one. The action never stops on the party line, and it just closes your phone. Just dial 100-411-700-7700. Thousands of others have joined the party, now it's your turn. New friends are just a f-

Starting point is 00:52:11 Thousands of others might be a little bit of an overstatement. Haha, right. Four others have joined the party line. Bones cop. Zero of which are on right now when you call. It was either two things. It was zero people or it was many people. One of the two. Oh wait, they're 10411, 700 and 770s. For just 89 cents a minute, join the party. The party line, 10411, 700 and 770s. Wait, that's a lot of numbers. 10411, 100 and 770 and 2, 3.

Starting point is 00:52:42 100 and seven sevens and two threes. What? Call this incredibly uncomplicated phone number one, four, one, one, seven, two, seven, three, three, three, four, five, five, seven, sevens, eight, 12s and one. Dejoined thousands of other people with forgot the phone number. Dejoined thousands of other men's, a member who happened to remember the phone number in the 30 seconds. Thanks for the commercial to go on Children get your parents mission before calling

Starting point is 00:53:11 I love that music is awful and all I am now. There's a Michael Jackson hotline with all the inside news at 976 2500 beat it to your phone Beat it to your phone your phone. Beat it to your phone. That's what he said. Beat it to your phone. How incredibly apropos given the given the hindsight. Hey, it's me, Michael. Come here to the monkey. Give it a little boy. Can you beat it on your phone? Send me a picture via snail mail. Get the latest dirt on your favorite soaps, call 976-8080 for General Hospital 8181 for all my children. Lane is dark, I mean, didn't they just show it every day anyway?

Starting point is 00:53:56 Yeah, why didn't they? Well, you really have to be in general hospital, but there are some people who are, don't get in the middle of them and their stories. Oh yeah, I tried to solve. Do you remember when we worked in a clear channel? And they had in the break room, they had a television, right? And every afternoon, some ladies, some of the older ladies in the office would sit there

Starting point is 00:54:19 and they would watch general hospital. I don't even think that shows on anymore, is it? I don't know. Isn't young, isn't young and restless? The only show that's on anymore? They're all gone. All the soap operas are both in beautiful or whatever. All the soap operas, they have a soap channel,

Starting point is 00:54:30 I guess now, because you could watch some of these soap operas. But these shows were daily live shows. And they went on for decades and decades and decades. It's basically the same thing. People would die, they'd come back, they'd die, they'd come back. They had a fair. Yeah, having a fair, we'd have really fucked everybody, everybody fucked everybody. It was a die, they'd come back. I have a fair, fair, fair, fair. You never knew.

Starting point is 00:54:45 Everybody, everybody, everybody. It was a lot of incest going out. It was a crazy, yeah. But we'd go up into the break room, and God forbid you make noise while the story's wrong. Oh, I know. And they would say, don't interrupt our stories, stories. Yep.

Starting point is 00:54:57 That's what you would call them. Awful television show, what are you talking about? But you gotta be really desperate for information about your favorite stuff. To dirt on the... To watch it every day and then and then spend an additional $300 getting more information. And what kind of information they give you. I so wish these were around still. So we could make phone calls. I wish there was a place like a repository for old 900 and 999 numbers

Starting point is 00:55:22 where they could we could just like listen to what was going on. Thank you, our lucky stars. Now Sydney Omar's astrology report is as close as your phone. Just find your sign and dial all calls 55 cents. Oh that's not bad 55 cents I'll do that. Clearly no one spent money on music. I call this number all the time and you should see the people I need You too can you keep I call this number all the time and you should see how many communicable diseases I've gotten You should see my front doors dripping with hot tail You should see the people I need yeah, it's selling the dream. That's right. You should see the people I mean You should see the people I mean. Yeah, selling the dream. That's right. You should see the people I mean

Starting point is 00:56:05 You should see the people Never call it a little bad. I'm hoping if I call one more time Anywhere across the country I called the nationwide party line and I met the men of my dreams I met Heather over the nationwide party line and she lives right in my hometown. That's right, YouTube can meet new people anywhere. This is the first nationwide party line open 24 hours a day. Get in on the action.

Starting point is 00:56:35 I call the nationwide party line, 4 and 2. I call the nationwide party line because I'm the hottest girl in town. And I just need more friends like you. Yeah, exactly. I really love me. Think about it, guys. Think about it.

Starting point is 00:56:51 You think the hottest girl in town is using the party line? No, she's not. She doesn't need the party line. That's not what she needs. Oh my gosh, there are so many more of these that we could go through. But you know what, I guess, you know,

Starting point is 00:57:00 you only got so much time. Maybe we'll save it for it. Maybe we'll save more of them for another time. But I like it. That was it. That was the deal. Now you got a you only got so much time. Maybe we'll save it for it. Maybe we'll save more from for another time. But that was it. That was the deal. You know, now you got a flavor for what was going on. First of all, you realize how bad the audio was back in the 90s on our televisions.

Starting point is 00:57:12 And that's what we heard, by the way. This wasn't like, this is just a bad tape. This is actually what we heard coming through our speakers. And we thought it was the shit. If you thought the sound was bad, you should look at the picture that was going on. 4K, it wasn't even in one game. It was just a big, fuzzy glob.

Starting point is 00:57:29 And we thought it was the coolest thing ever. I mean, we didn't know to any different. That's the thing about technology. It's that it oftentimes, when it's here, you're like, wow, this is amazing. And you don't think twice about it. But then a couple years, you look back and you go, holy shit, we were actually like, we were actually pressing multiple numbers to text like there wasn't a keyboard on the phone back then

Starting point is 00:57:53 Not that's a sign to wrap it up I love this song. What a great song. I love this song. It is a great song. Love this being our final. You know your audio. I do. I like the people in the commercial.

Starting point is 00:58:18 Yes. I hope I'm coming home. I don't. I know my audio if I can get, if I can actually press record again. All right. The second time we've recorded this show've recorded the show. So let you know that. Another one of Brian's magical specials. It was all kind of noises. I'm telling you what to get into. Don't worry about it. Anyway, now you know, now you know what clubhouse is all about. Clubhouse is exactly like that. You're not going to meet any hot girls.

Starting point is 00:58:45 They're not going to be in real life. Yeah, don't worry about Clubhouse. Now go there if you want to. I'm not, I don't even think against Clubhouse. It's just we're not, we're not doing active shows in there anymore, but stay tuned because we could be doing shows somewhere else pretty soon. That's right, we are.

Starting point is 00:58:59 Exciting news to come over the next month or two here at the commercial break. We couldn't be more excited. So to stay in touch. Info at tcbpodgas.com is where you drop us a line. Please let us know if you have any content ideas. You wanna hear Chrissy and I talk about something. You found some audio that you think is funny,

Starting point is 00:59:15 and you'd like to shoot it our way. We would be happy to give you credit for it here on air. And hey, we might even send you some swag. So we thank William for, you know, pushing the idea along. William, the thank William for pushing the idea along. William the Wonder Boy for pushing the idea along. Thanks, William. We appreciate it.

Starting point is 00:59:29 That's two shows in two weeks. He's in. Based on some conversation with William. Oh, no. He's like an executive producer now. Good idea is coming. I'll just send a microphone to him. Tcbpodcast.com is where you go.

Starting point is 00:59:44 You can read all the show notes. find out more about Chrissy and I. You can watch all the video, listen to all the audio at one place at one time right there. But if you're so inclined, you can also send us a message 4705848449. Text message, voicemail, standard text messaging rates do apply. 299 for the first text. That's all I have yet to get. Children get your parents permission. Children get your parents permission. I'm gonna murder them 900 tcb

Starting point is 01:00:14 We still gonna get a 900 number and then we'll dish the gossip about the show on nine hundred when that be great I'm looking into this shocking. Oh, I'm looking into this. Shocking, dear. Oh, I'm looking into this. Shocking secrets from the commercial break. Brian's gotten a lot of prostate. He's 12 times a night. So 4705848449, if you'd like your chance to win $500 in the gift card of your choice, please do yourself a favor, go to the commercial break. Follow us on Instagram, tag a friend in a comment about your favorite line from your favorite episode. We'll reply, then that's how you know you're entered into win. You can do the same thing on YouTube. And coming up, I think maybe in the next episode, we're going to talk about some fantastic stuff that's been

Starting point is 01:01:00 having with the commercial break, and we're also going to do, it's time for a date of the podcast update. Okay. The state of the break. State of the break. State of the, you. Well, we're gonna be reviewing comments, wonderful comments, you know they are. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:14 Cause they've been left with all over the internet. Ah. You either love us or your haters, I guess we're just one of those shows. Polarizing. Yeah, but I'm finding out that most people just hate us. But they're listening, so you know what? It's time to write. Yeah

Starting point is 01:01:28 Okay, what else what else can I do to that? I don't think that's it. I love you. I love you Brian and Best to you Chrissy and best to you out there and so until next time we'll have to say bye! …punit … I'm going to be a little bit more careful. music I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.

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Starting point is 01:05:30 I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.

Starting point is 01:05:47 I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. you

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