The Commercial Break - 12 Days Of TCB: Not The Totem Pole!

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

Episode #661: We finally reminded Bryan enough that he remembered to get the follow-up video to our last Mountain Monsters episode! It’s a Christmas miracle! Donate to St. Jude, The National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, the ASPCA and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Leather diapers Our old Dr. Phil advertisement Bhad Babie (catch me outside) We’re back again with Mountain Monsters in their hunt for the Cherokee Devil War music An elite group Buck is having a mental breakdown They must find Huck Mr. Tumnus Huck is buck ass naked, covered in mud, and humping a totem pole Head of Security Aliens or drones Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This message is sponsored by Greenlight. We all know the old saying about teaching Amanda fish, and as parents, we want our kids to learn the things that will set them up for success. So this holiday season, give kids money skills that will last well beyond 2024 with Greenlight. Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families where kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely with parental controls built in. Sign up today at Greenlight.com slash odyssey. Greenlight.com slash odyssey. How often can you say a gift is truly unique? When you gift a loved one an Ancestry DNA test,

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We're Gluttons for Punishment, so we have the 12 Days of TCB coming at you, December 13th through the 25th, brand new episodes every single day, and live fresh episodes during the entire holiday season. As the great Clark Griswold once said, Holy s***, where's the Tylenol? Find it quick and join us this entire holiday season for brand new episodes of The Commercial Break. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Ding dong, happy birthday Jesus.

Oh yeah, dancers and prancers, welcome back to the 12 days of TCB. I'm Brian Green. This is the Ellen and my Clark, Christ and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris and best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Our marathon continues, Chrissy. I think we're doing very well. How are you holding up?

It does. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Are your lips chapped or anything? Do I need to get you some lipstick? I'm keeping chapstick. Some chapstick. Do you need water, hydration? I've got that.

I've got mine. A shit bag. Do you need anything? You know those marathoners, they just- My eggnog. Oh, there you go. Do you have eggnog really in there? No. I wish you did. That'd be a lot cooler if you did, bro.

You know those marathoners? I will tomorrow. They just shit on themselves. Yeah, I heard that. So I'm gonna do that when we get to day number nine or ten. We'll just wear diapers. What's that? We'll just wear diapers.

Listen, don't knock it till you've tried it. You know, there are a lot of people. This was a thing on, I forgot which show, the Stern Show. So one of the guys there liked to go to a heavy metal concert, but he did not want to pee. He would drink a lot of beer. He did not want to go and pee and miss his favorite song.

So he admitted on air that he would wear diapers. Now it's a thing. They are making diapers for concerts. Rock diapers? Yes, rock dick diker rock dick diapers Is it like the same company is liquid death or something? It is the guy Yes, the guy with death and then it's like, I don't know in the spirit of Lemmy or something like that I saw the advertisement for it thought it was a joke, but it's not a joke. Listen It's just an adult diaper with leather.

With leather, yes. You change out the diaper, then it's got a leather with a satanic cross on it. Rather than a leather wrestling belt type thing? Yeah, kind of, but it's more of a thong with a satanic cross on the front of it. Oh, okay. You know, the six-sided pentagram or whatever it is, whatever the Satanists are into these days. Whatever the Paganists are into these days. I'll have to recommend that sponsorship for Jeff to look into for the festival.

Hey, listen, Liquid Death is a big... No, not Liquid Death. I know, but they're the company that I think made it as a joke, but now it's real. Now people are admitting that they wear diapers to concerts so they don't miss out. Listen, in 2025, I have already planned to go to more concerts than I have in like 10 years total. I've bought tickets to so many concerts. And yeah, but I am at the age where even if I don't drink a lot of beer, I might need the diapers just so I don't miss half the concert. That's just part of what you deal with when you get my age. When you're getting your bell rung four to five times a year, how many times does Jeff

get his bell rung a year? This really made me think yesterday. We were talking about the bell ringing. How many times has Jeff had his bell rung, do you think? I don't know. I'll have to ask. Does he still get it done? I don't think it still happens.

No, I mean- Okay, good. I wanted to recommend another doctor if it did. Yeah, no. We were talking about years ago, and I thought that was weird, but you confirmed that it was not weird. And so, yeah. It wasn't weird. But it doesn't happen anymore.

It wasn't weird back then. It's all of a sudden weird now, which makes you think it really was weird in the first place. It was probably weirder when it was happening than it's not happening. But what are you going to do when a doctor tells you to bend over and- Yeah, you're at their mercy. Whistle Dixie? That's what you do. Take a deep breath. Relax, Brian. Relax. Relax your anus. Speaking of anus, so the other day we were talking about Dr. Phil and

speaking of doctors and anus, I told you that Dr. Phil had done a series of, I mean, you remember this, he had done a series of commercials for the commercial break. Of course. So one of the ways you can grow your podcast is to dump a whole shitload of money into having other podcast influencers types to talk about your show. And obviously it's a paid sponsorship, it happens during the commercial. So it's not like they're, it's not like they actually like the show, it's like they're being

paid to talk about the show. Right, we're paying them. Yes, so one of our first, like, famous people that ever talked about the commercial break, because we paid them, was Dr. Phil on his little podcast, and I can't remember what it was, but he has a couple different podcasts, and one of those, we managed to negotiate a deal with him. And unbelievably, it brought us quite a bit of traffic, which was surprising or not surprising, depending on how you look at it. I dug deep in the commercial break archives and I actually found, because I'm religious about keeping every single thing, I deleted that that, I deleted the Dr. Phil commercial, but Airplay or AirDrop or Air whatever it

is, the, what is that? The Air. iCloud kept it for me. The Air. iCloud kept it for me and I didn't want to disappoint the listeners. I wanted to follow up on this. One of the benefits of having Christina here is that she reminds me that I say something and then we have to follow up on this. One of the benefits of having Christina here is that she reminds me that I say something

and then we have to follow through on it. So thank you, Christina. I've been saying that and you just have been brushing me aside for years. You're easy to ignore. Christina's new to the group. I don't wanna- You're trying to impress.

You guys are showing off. I don't wanna let her know what an asshole I am quite yet. I have a, there's a whole thing with the ladies You know, I put my best foot forward for at least three months before I let you know what an actual shithead I am So Christina on page eight, I think I've got a cute you got it cute up. I'm ready ladies and gentlemen I want to present to you the I think this is the very first read that dr Phil let's listen to the excitement and dr. Phil's voice as he talks about ghost fuckers. Go They want to take a minute to thank our brand new sponsor the commercial break comedy podcast for supporting the show

It's like a real-life commercial break from all the serious things we're dealing with lately Sure That's why I recommend you take a listen to the commercial break. And they paid us a lot of money for us to talk to you about the show. Two longtime friends, Brian and Chrissy, get in the studio and discuss their friendship, stories from their personal life, and they take a deeper look at some of the absurd trends and topics they find on the internet. Now the commercial break has new episodes each Monday, Wednesday and Friday on all podcast players and full episodes and daily clips available

on the YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break or you can visit tcbpodcast.com for more information. That's tcbpodcast.com. So when you have a chance, take a listen to our new paid friends on the commercial break. Anywhere you'd like to listen to your podcast or just visit TCBpodcast.com. That is what we got. We made sure and definitely emphasized paid.

They have paid us. They have paid us. They are our paid friends. To be fair to Dr. Phil, I actually wrote a sample script and I said, if you haven't listened to the show, you can tell him that we pay. So he took my cue from that. But just listen to the enthusiasm at Dr. Phil's, the commercial break, the commercial break, our new paid friends over the commercial break.

By the way, those dentures, is that what I'm hearing? Am I hearing the dentures when, let's play it one more time. Is it on stop start? I don't know. Okay. Hey, I wanna take a minute to thank our brand new sponsor, the commercial break comedy podcast

for supporting the show. Comedy podcast. I think those are dentures. I think it's just the way he speaks. You do? I think it's like a thick tongue. He does have a thick tongue. If I've ever seen a tongue,

I've never seen a tongue so thick on a man. He's got a thick tongue. That's what she said. Hey. I mean, that's what you get. So when we were talking about paying influencers the other day to talk about our show, that's kind of what you get.

So I even think if we could drum up $3.2, $3 million to get Cristiano Ronaldo to talk about us, I'm sure what we would get was, they paid me to say, commercial break. Right, exactly. It's terrible. They paid us. Yeah, and then you wonder why these things kind of, you know, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. Dr. Phil, we had a stroke of luck. There are other people that we have

paid that we've not had such luck. It will go remain nameless because they just won't get another order from us. But that's the world of paid influencing. And that is why 99.9% of the time when people ask us to do commercial reads for their podcast, I just say no. Because unless it's something that I'm really excited about listening to, it would be really hard for me to give it my full gusto. If you listen closely, you will know the difference between a product or service that Brian is excited about and a product

or service that Brian is not excited about if you listen to those commercial reads closely enough. Brian is not excited about. If you listen to those commercial reads closely enough. But I never say they've paid us a lot of money to do this. Thank you, Dr. Phil, for all your kindness throughout the years. I mean, listen, can you follow the guy? Dr. Phil kind of took a weird left right turn over the last couple of years. I was never like the world's biggest Dr. Phil fan. My mother was the world's biggest Dr. Phil fan when Dr. Phil off shot from Oprah and had his own show. Daytime TV. Daytime TV.

He was the king of daytime TV for a long time. When he, you know, he was like a cow doctor, I think he was like a bovine doctor. And then Oprah got sued for saying that meat was murder or something along those lines. That was a big deal at the time. That was a big deal. And Dr. Phil showed up in her defense.

And then somehow, someway, some shape, some form, he ended up on Oprah. I mean, literally the guy ended up on Oprah giving people advice. So he went from the- Yeah, he had like this straight talk. Yeah, he had this, he had a way to cut the mustard, Chrissy. Right.

And at first, on the Dr. Phil show, it was, it seemed like he was legitimately trying to help people with legitimate family issues. It did. But I don't know- And then it dove to you, like they all do. Then it went to Jerry, like season number three, it went to Jerry Springer level craziness.

And I think we've had some of the most... Do you know the... Who's that girl? Catch Me Outside, Cash Me Outside? Do you know the Cash Me Outside girl? Isn't she like a famous musician now? You don't know? Oh, okay.

I thought you were looking at me like you knew what I was saying. Well, I know who she is. Yeah, the Cash Me Outside girl. Cash Me Outside, how about that? Yeah, the cash me outside girl. I think has- Cash me outside, how about that? Yeah, cash me outside, how about that? She has become super famous in the social media circles. And the reason why is because she literally

told Dr. Phil, catch me outside. And what she meant by that was, I'll kick your ass. Catch me outside, cause I'll kick your ass. It turned into one of the most bouty, rowdy, insane shows ever. And Dr. Phil, I think, in my opinion, lost any kind of credibility that a TV psychologist would have otherwise had. But it's high entertainment if you watch it for just for that.

Wait, she's bad baby. Which I did not know that was her. Oh, I did not know that either. So I do know Bad Baby. Bad Baby is super famous, right? That has taken me for a ride. Did you know that she got her start on the Dr. Phil show? No, I thought there were two separate people. No, it all started on the Dr. Phil show. Wow. Unless I'm mistaken, are we really connecting these two together? Yeah, it says on Wikipedia, during her appearance on the talk show Dr. Phil in September 2016, she uttered the phrase, catch me outside, how about that?

Wow. There we go. Wow. For which she became something, something, something, because I'm just clicking on it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Best known. She became best known for her appearance on Dr. Phil, but then became Bad Baby.

And now- And then she had a debut single in 2017 called These Ho. These Ho? H-E-A-U-X. These Ho? H-A-U-X? Yeah. She spelled ho like you spell foe? No, no, no. H-E-A-U-X.

H-E-A-U-X. Like, I guess people would say like, go Tigers in LSU or something. Yeah, like a New Orleans, Louisiana kind of thing. Yeah. What world are we living in? What insane world are we living in? I can't keep up. I think I saw somebody, I was reading an article the other day and literally I read someone's

name, it had a dollar sign and an asterisk in it. How do you say dollar sign asterisk? Dollar. Thanks, Chrissy. Dala ass. Dala ass. I don't know. That's the way I would say it. You are just damning. Unless you are super rich and super famous and you're going to

pass that wealth down to your children, you are absolutely dooming your child to a world, to a miserable life if you put a dollar sign and an asterisk in their name. Of course, maybe they chose that. Maybe that's what they chose. People wanna be individuals right now. And that's why the Cash Me Outside girls made a career out of it.

And we're still suffering and toiling the 12 fucking days of TCB. I was gonna say, I can't quite fault Dr. Phil for going down the road of that he did because there's only so much content. Well, that's true. And he has thousands of episodes. Dr. Phil has to have thousands of episodes. I fault us for Dr. Phil. I fault us because yes, he was a straight talking, like, you know, no-nonsense kind of dad figure, right?

He was a parental figure, I think, to millions of people on television who would literally cut through the mustard. And it was refreshing at the time. It was refreshing to hear someone not tipped, and to hear a therapist type, not tiptoe around things and be sensitive about your feelings, but just tell you how to call it like he saw it. But that quickly turned into some kind of muddled fucking mess. And that's what people want to see. Yeah, that's absolutely what they want to see.

Mori Povich was a respected reporter at CVS at the pharmacy. He was a respected CBS reporter until he started doing paternity tests on TV. And that's what he is best known for. And people fucking love it. They tune in by the millions to see, are you the father? Which is amazing to me. It's amazing.

Well, look at what we love on TLC. Yes. But they do have to say this. No, there's nothing to say. Look at what we love on TLC. Yes. But, I do have to say this. No, there's nothing to say. It's all the same. You can't defend it. No, I'm not. Listen, I'm not saying I'm not part of the problem.

I am part of the problem. I've watched Dr. Phil. I paid Dr. Phil. I paid him to talk about me. I paid Dr. Phil to talk about me. And 90 Day Fiance is just one step removed from Who's the Father. It's a distant cousin. Because everybody on 90 Day Fiancé is one step removed from being a guest on the Maury Povit Show. Let's be honest about it. Oh yeah, they all should be.

We were just watching an episode before we started recording here. And it's just... The last resort. Yeah, the last resort is right, because none of these couples have a chance from the beginning. And why we're even pretending that they do is beyond me. But okay, let's go there. This is all, this is where we've gotten to. We've gotten to this because we collectively soak in the drama. We love to think that we're doing better than other people. Exactly. That is it.

We love to see other people's train wrecks, because it makes our train wreck not feel so damaging. And we like tits and ass. That's it. That is it. And dollars. Tits, ass, and dollars with eight spelled D-A-U, dollar sign, dollar sign, asterisks A-W-A-R, dawa sign. Okay, so Chrissy, today for the 12 days of TCB,

we're gonna dip our toe back in the water of the Mountain Monsters because, I'm sorry, yeah, we clicked toes when I said that. Look at that. Look at us playing footsie under the table. You see me, Jeff? Catch me outside. Dawah sign, asterisk, an explanation point.

Exclamation point. We're gonna dip our toes back in the mountain of monsters water because we reviewed for the 12 days of TCB, one of the episodes where they were running around chasing the Cherokee Bigfoot, the Cherokee mind melting monster, whatever he's called.

The Cherokee Dittle. The Cherokee Dittle. Yeah, and there had been like a rogue team or something involved? The rogue team, but they had met up and I don't know. I'm not even sure I've got the same episode. I don't know, but I think I do. It's so confusing. So the way that they split up these episodes and propagate them online is really confusing.

Sometimes it'll be a day old, but it's from season one, and then sometimes it'll be five months old, but it hasn't come out yet. It's really weird. Anyway, the Mountain Monsters, I promised that if I could find part number two of this, that we would play it. So let's... I think I found it. In either which way it's gonna be entertaining. You know it is.

So let us do that. Let us go ahead and... Let's do that. We will do that. I was go ahead and- Let's do that. We will do that. I was trying to think about which charity- I'm so gracious today. Hold on one second. Well, ASPCA.

Yes. We were highlighting. But there was- I sent you one this morning. There was like a feeding America. Yes, there is. But there was a, give me one second. Can you, can you and Christina talk for a second while I talk about this?

What's up, Christina? You know, just living, just thriving over here. Living that producer life. Yeah. It's good back here. I like not having the camera on me. I like making you guys the stars. Thank you.

Yeah, the camera on me is not too bad as long as I can see what I look like. Not too bad, not today. I can't, nope. You know, Chrissy hates when we take her emotional support screen away. Just to make sure my hair isn't crazy or I'm at a bad angle, it's the little things. We're back here telling her, fix your hair on the left. Yeah, yeah, you got a little calic up there. Yeah, looks good though.

Yeah, I was gonna say, we should add on to Christina's roster of responsibilities to make sure your hair looks good. Last looks. Yes. Okay, I don't wanna get this wrong, so over the break, I'll check it and we'll make sure that we let you know

and put a link in the show notes. It's basically, it's an organization that supports women who have been abused and the children that they care for when they're leaving those relationships. This is a super important cause. We donate a lot to the women's shelter down the street. Yeah, we do too. We donate anything that we have used or leftover,

or we bought two of them or whatever happens, we will donate over there. This is a super important cause because abusive relationships tear down lives. They destroy children and women's lives and men too, to be honest with you. But right now we're focusing on the women. And so we're going to put a link in the show notes to this charity that does just that. They provide shelter, clothing, food, and assistance, getting back on their feet and finding their way in the world without all the drama. So please support that cause and also any of the other causes

that we've talked about in the 12 days of TCB. If you feel so inclined, you can certainly take a screenshot that you're donating, send it our way, and we'll make sure that we get you some extra TCB swag. Let's take a break and we'll make sure that we get you some extra TCB swag. Let's take a break, and we'll be back with the mountain monsters. Hi, you know what time it is, so let's get to it. Pull that phone out of your pocket

and follow us on Instagram, at The Commercial Break, and on TikTok, for now, I guess, at TCB Podcast. You can also find all of our video content that we're filming in our brand new studio at youtube.com slash the commercial break. So check it out and throw us a follow, a like, a comment, whatever you can spare. If you want to get in touch with us, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail

at 212-433-3TCB. Now I have one last request. During the 12 or 263 days of TCB, check out our featured charities and donate to them if you can this holiday season. All right, let's take a listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. This episode is sponsored by Pre-Alcohol from Zee Biotics. I am not one to imbibe a whole bunch anymore. I've got 13 to 15 children, checklists to get done and jobs to do. But even with moderation, I don't bounce back like I used to from a night of drinking. I find myself having to make that choice. Can I have a great night or a great, responsible day tomorrow?

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bit of energy left in the tank to watch bad television, I know that pre-alcohol has done its job. And with the holiday season upon us, I know I'm going to be consuming just a little bit more alcohol than usual, but with pre-alcohol I can stay on track and not let the holiday season throw me off course. Go to zbiotics.com slash commercial to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use the code commercial at checkout. Zbiotics is backed by a 100% money-back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason they'll

refund your money, no questions asked. Remember to head to zbiotics.com slash commercial and use the code commercial at checkout for 15% off. Thank you to Zbiotics for being a sponsor of the commercial break and for making my mornings after drinking just a little bit easier. I'm Anna Garcia with True Crime News, the podcast. Every crime tells a story. Every story demands justice with True Crime News, the podcast. Every crime tells a story. Every story demands justice. True Crime News, the podcast covers breaking crimes, investigating high profile and under-the-radar

cases. Every week we dive beyond the headlines, exploring the effects of violent crimes on victims and search for justice. We hope you join us as your weekly source for true crime news. Listen to and follow True Crime News, the podcast on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is the charity that we were discussing

and they support local and national foundations that help women and children who have survived abusive relationships or abusive family situations. So please donate. It's a super important cause. My father really instilled this into us. He had four boys, so he instilled into us that touching, being in a relationship that's abusive is never a good thing. And he really, by hitting me, my father made me realize that hitting was not good. I don't know any other way to say it. Anyway, let's transition from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence into the National Coalition Against Violence, or for violence, against monsters.

Last time we left the mountain monsters, they were chasing that Cherokee devil. They had split up and then come back. I know who fucking knows. They were chasing the mind melting Cherokee devil. You ready to get into this? I am. Okay, just wanted to check with you. We're in Ash County, North Carolina,

and we're going out to the Cherokee devil. Legend has it that this Bigfoot is the ultimate hunter and has mystical powers. It can hear your thoughts and control your mind. And based on- Sounds like the last woman I've dated. Buck. What's happening to me? Buck, he's an expert caller. He's an expert caller.

Did they change his title a lot? Chrissy, I think- Because I don't always remember him as an expert caller. I think when you're doing such important work, you're not just talking about the title, you're talking about the title. You're talking about the title. You're talking about the title. You're talking about the title. You're talking about the title. You're talking about the title. You're talking about don't always remember him as an expert caller. I think when you're doing such important work, it's not the title that matters.

It's what you're doing, Chrissy. We don't get lost in the details. And yes, every single episode, they change the titles for these guys. Trapper, professional, Bigfoot Hunter, but now he's an expert caller. I don't even know what that means. What's an expert caller? I guess calling the monster? Never once heard Buck call the monster.

Never once. I know, that's why I'm surprised. Hello, monster? This isn't legend, it's fact. It's fact. It's fact. Cause I said so. My name isn't Donald J. Trump. It's fact. I'm hoping Huckleberry's in there. That's where I end up. I don't know how or why, but that's where I ended up.

And I don't mean, by Huckleberry, I don't mean the person. I mean the bush. I am hungry. Whoa, look, look, look, look, look, look, look. Did you see that? Did you see that? No. No, I didn't see anything. Remember last time we left off at the, in the hut with all their manila folders, their names? Yes. I think that's where he's going. Oh, that's where we're at? Okay.

I'm ready. Oh, there we are. Yep, you're right. I did find the second part to this. I'm so proud of myself. You did. Good job. Good job. I'm so proud of myself. Good job, good job. ["The Last Supper"] Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

She go. ["The Last Supper"] Where'd she go? He's in a hut that's two foot by two foot, yet he's doing a thorough and exhaustive search for a woman. I think he would see her if she was there. He's looking around like she's under the floorboard.

She was right here. Do you see her? Where'd she go? Do you see her? No, I didn't. There's that little Indian girl. Oh, I forgot he was looking for her. I walked up to that shack and there was no way I could see her.

I walked up to that shack and there was no way I could see her. I walked up to that shack and there was no way I could see her. I walked up to that shack and there was no way I could see her. I walked up to that shack and there was no way I could see her. I walked up to that shack and there was no way I could see her. I walked up to that shack and there was no way I could see her. I walked up to that shack and there was no way I could see her. I walked up to that shack and there was no way I could see her. I walked up to girl. Oh, I forgot he was looking for her. I walked up to that shack and there was no way that little Indian girl could get past me as I shaded most of the door.

Now, did you see her? I did, all right. Did you see her? Mistaken what I seen. I seen it the other night. It was that little Cherokee Indian girl. Why can't anyone just use the word saw? You don't seen something, you saw something.

There's nowhere for her to go. She was standing right there in the building and I walked right up to it and she's gone. She vanished. There's no exit. There's no way out of there, but she vanished. She's gone. It's fact.

It's a fact. that Cherokee mine hunting monster is chasing little Indian girls around the woods into this here whack shack. This is a whackin' shack. Oh, it's messing with him. It's messing with Buck. It is really fucking with Buck's head. Yeah.

I bet his therapy bills are high. Huckleberry! Spooky damn place. I feel like that other guy should be the caller. Yeah. Because he's the one that yells. Yeah, he's the one that yells and screams. But he said it's a spooky damn place.

Is it any different than any of the other spooky damn places you've been? I mean, they all seem pretty spooky to me out in the middle of the woods at night. And why are they always hunting at night? Why don't they just do something during the day? Have you ever heard of a drone? Take a page out of New Jersey's handbook. The monsters sleep at night, you know?

Or they sleep during the day, I meant. They do? Apparently. Chrissy knows it's fact I spy with my one good eye a mountain a mountain monster my size I know I'm really thinking that if they want to get an elite group together to go and capture something like this. I've said this from the beginning.

These aren't the people, but. I've said this from the beginning. You're so right about this. I'm picturing like Navy SEALs, you know, going in and out. I'm picturing like an entire, you know, like the first infantry division, you know what I'm saying? Surround the place, turn on the high beams, get some drones, maybe a couple of those thermal imaging cameras, not the kind you buy at Walmart for $10, but the actual thermal imaging. And then you get some people with some experience, you know, people who

go to college for this type of stuff and they know about cryptology and... Trained. Yeah, trained. But no, you've got three guys who spend most of their time, let's be honest, brewing moonshine, out in the woods in the middle of the night with loaded guns running around

blindly pointing them at things that they don't know. And they always seem to have a mental breakdown now in every episode. This has taken its toll on these guys, I think. All the fame and fortune that Mountain Monsters brought them. Maybe they should see Dr. Phil. Well listen, it would not- Dr. Phil and Mountain Monsters. After Dr. Phil's recent turn, I would not be surprised to see Hucker Buck on one of his shows.

Hucker Buck? What the hell was he doing? We just came across- Why is everyone just standing here? Why don't we go say hi to him? So here's the thing, they're now pointing their flashlights at Buck, who is sitting on the forest floor with his back turned to them. My question is, why not just go talk to Buck?

Why are they all whispering behind his back? Crossed Buck, he looks to me like he's in that same trance that I seen him the other night. I gotta ease down there. He's in trance. And make sure we get a hold of him. Oh, Trapper is the team leader. Oh, Trapper's the team leader.

He got an upgrade. I've taken five to 10 minutes out of this important time to talk to you the camera Before I go check on Buck who's probably dead I seen him. You seen the Cherokee devil? Woke up that ridge Up to the shack. He's gotoken up that ridge, up to the shack. He's got his penis hanging out. I know why they call him the Cherokee Devil.

It's too big. And there she was. Is the little girl the Cherokee Devil? Little Cherokee girl. The one that grabbed it. Little Cherokee Devil? Little Cherokee girl. The one that grabbed it. Little Cherokee Devil cakes. You can buy them at the corner store. Need them now.

She's inside the shed. Did she take a hold of you? She disappeared. She wouldn't call me back. We matched on Tinder. We matched on Tinder and she ghosted me, literally. Buck seen that little Cherokee girl again. She disappeared in that damn shit.

There's something about that damn shit. Damn shit. Damn shit, damn shit, damn shit. That wackin' shit, I knew I should have torn it down years ago. 15 yards away when I seen her. I went straight in. Straight in. She wasn't in there.

She's gone. She broke my heart. He looks like he just got back from a bad date. Am I right about this? Isn't this weird? I think he looks like a widow who lost her husband in the war. Yeah, I know.

He's gone. I know, he's gone. I saw her, she's gone. It's overwhelming. But I think what we gotta do. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna open mouth kiss you. He just opened his mouth.

I'm gonna open mouth kiss you and everything's gonna be okay. We're all gonna carry you back to the car and then we'll get you some hot cocoa. He had a handball, little boy. I know, I know. He's crying. Buck need huggies. That's buck need kissies, huggies. We gotta get Buck out of here.

We gotta find Huck first. I wanna find Huckleberry. Yeah. Let's start sweeping these ridges. Huckleberry's missing? I'm gonna start sweeping the ridges for Huckleberry. You stay here and weep like a child. Kinda.

He is crying. Men can cry too, Brian. Hey, listen. I am a weeper myself. I know about crying. I cry at songs, I cry, you know, I'm one of those guys, you know, emotion overcomes me. I'm not afraid to cry. I just don't know how to do it on command like Buck does. Yeah. We're together, we got to take care of Buck.

I'm fine. We got to take care of each other. So we'll get Huckleberry. Yeah, let's get Huckleberry before this gets weird. It has to be here. Now that we've got Buck back with the team, our number find Huckleberry before this gets weird. He has to be here. Now that we've got Buck back with the team, our number one... What is he?

Researcher? Researcher. Where's his pad of paper? What's he researching? His responsibility is to find Huckleberry. He's lost. He's somewhere in these woods. We've got to find him.

Huckleberry! Huckleberry number one! Huckleberry number two! Huckleberry... Ah, whatever. Is there a Huckleberry number one! Huckleberry number two! Huckleberry... ah, whatever! Is there a Huckleberry out there? I hope he's not in the same shape I was in. We need to go right back to where that evil devil entered Huckleberry's mine, in that totem pole area. That's where we'll... It's likely we need to go right back into the arms of the murderous monster in order to find our friend

Because nothing says be a friend like getting yourself killed additionally Find our huckleberry. I forgot there's a totem pole involved. Oh, there's a totem Chrissy This is the creepiest out. This is the creepiest mountain monsters episode. We have seen this week in here Sure sound that totem pole right here this week. In here. Sure found that totem pole. Right here.

That son of a bitch is gone! What the fuck? What? Just look. We went right back to where we found that damn totem pole, and now it's gone. Completely gone. It's totally gone!

Did anybody else catch that? It's gone! He went from South Kentucky accent. To Boston? Yeah, to like New England, like Chesapeake Bay. Disappeared, son of a bitch was probably about 14 inches in diameter, eight foot tall, maybe 10 foot tall willy. It was a damn heavy.

10 foot tall willy? 10 foot, that willy was about 14 inches down there, but 8 feet tall. That damn Willie, biggest Willie I've ever seen. No wonder Bucks crying. We were standing on them logs and Jeff and I couldn't pick it up out of there. Huckleberry was standing right here. He looked right at Jeff. He said, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. That scared me. It actually did. I thought someone was yelling in my house. Wow. Mountain Monsters got a rise out of me. Will Huckleberry be dead? Will we find the remains of the Cherokee Devil? I don't know. We'll wait until after we take a break. Remember, we're doing some good this DCB holiday by donating to good charitable causes. And there's a couple of them in the show notes for you. Today we're focusing on the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Christina will put a link in the show notes. Please donate just a couple of bucks this time of year, so important for all these charities. That's when they make their money and they do their best work. So if you would go donate a few bucks to a family in need, we'll take a break. Sounds good. We'll be back. What do you mean you don't know our phone number? I only tell it to you twice a day, four times a week.

Oh, fine. If you insist, I will tell it to you again. It's 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. And don't you forget it. Now, in case you can't remember, our Instagram handle is at the commercial break. A tough one, I know. And our TikTok handle is at TCB Podcast.

And that one is the same as our website, tcbpodcast.com. And one last thing, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break for all of our video episodes. Got it? Good. Okay, and we're back with Huck Chuck, fucking suck. Here on the Mountain Monsters, they're chasing the Cherokee Devil, Chrissy. And they're looking for Huckleberry.

Yep, they found a totem pole. They were with the big totem pole. The 14 inch in diameter, eight foot tall totem pole has now gotten up and walked itself away. It's gone. It's gone with Huckleberry. Huckleberry is also gone. What I noticed about Mountain Monsters,

now that we've watched so many of these episodes, I'm getting into more of the nuance of the Mountain Monsters, is that a lot of the episode is dedicated to them standing around in the woods, talking about what did happen when the cameras were not around. Exactly. So Huckleberry- Billy's fault.

That's right, it's all Billy's fault. God damn it, there's only one of me, what do you want me to do? I'm busy shaking the camera for you! But what I... this is an interesting thing that I just put together is that a lot of times the most intense action is only described. It's not seen. Oh, that's the formula. That is the formula. Huckleberry!

Huckleberry! Getting guys getting welly! Quick! Shoot in that general direction! They like to be running pretty quickly. Yeah they do. Hey, good for these guys. Oh, is that a monster? No, that was a bush.

No. That's just me shaking the camera a lot. Huckleberry! Huckleberry, hey! We were standing right there where that turtle pole was and all at once Huckleberry let out this blood-curdling scream right up the hill Huck! Hey Huck! Are you enjoying it?

Huck! Ho! Easy listen, let's catch me outside! Listen, listen If you've ever been out in the hills of these Appalachians and you hear somebody scream With all these deep valleys, tall ridgesges you have no idea where it's coming from. Trapper can you see any sign? If you know how sound works that you understand generally when you hear something coming from a direction that sound is coming

from that direction. I see it didn't sound like he was that far up ahead. He squashed right There's nothing wrong or something wrong either gotta hold them or he just plumb out of his head and he's lost Thank you. I'm out of there Something's got a hold of him or the meth is gotten a little bit too much for him But either way we should find him before he takes his overalls off. Is he naked against the tree? They always put Huckleberry in those situations. Remember the time he went to like the frozen lake? He put, yes, and he was like wearing a loin clothoth on the frozen lake I mean to be fair to the group Huckleberry probably is the best physique of the group

Like if you're gonna get naked by the be Huckleberry Don't help him quite Let him suffer an additional couple of minutes before we go actually touch him. Huckleberry! Huckleberry! Please. Come over the top of that hill? What a sight to see. Huckleberry standing up here.

Huckleberry. No way. It's blurred out. He's like covered in mud. And then they still blurred it all out. It's horrible. Oh, listen. Huckleberry is hung. He's hung like a huckleberry. He's got his own twigs of berries.

I'm telling you what, huckleberry is covered in mud. He looks like a huckleberry. Now he's officially huckleberry. He looks like a bush running through the... At what cost does this show dignify or indignify people? Buck ass naked, covered in mud, pulled that damn toe out. Oh my God! This is the best thing on Monster Monsters ever. Is that Huckleberry? He is naked as a base. He's naked with mud.

He's a J-Bird. I said it last time, I'll say it again, he looks like Mr. Tumnus. He does look like, he is unbelievable. Is he holding the totem pole? He's holding the totem pole. He's got two poles he's carrying around. If the blur is any indication. Wow, look at that. And that does not look anything like mud, I'm sorry. That is straight like crude oil or something. That's paint. Hell, he's gold, dude. Woo, look at that ass.

Oh, is he humping the totem pole? He was having a moment. Hey, toot toot toot toot. Get him. Oh, they're tackling him oh no get him they say get him yeah it's a kerfuffle get him get him before he orgasms no one wants to see that quick wrap hisappers have hard in a cold clock. Oh, they jumped into the water. Oh my God. Oh, this has gotten way crazier than I ever expected. Wow. So now we've got Huckleberry fucking a totem pole has been tackled by the rest of the team

Doused in cold water to stop him from jizzing on said totem pole This is just amazing work on behalf of the mountain whose story boarded this one. I want to know travel channel You need a raise Well in the good news department, it's probably the first bath of Huckleberry. In a little while. Huckleberry wasn't in his right mind. We didn't know what to do. So Bill Jeff tackled him just to try to get control of him so he wouldn't take off again. F***ing hell. What in the world? These guys are like, they're cutely affectionate

toward each other. Do you know what I mean? They are. So now Huckleberry, I guess has come to his senses since he's been doused in cold water. He is naked as a Jaybird. I mean, the guy is just naked. And now they're petting his head, like, you know,

standing above him petting his head. They were brushing away like the hair from his forehead. Like, you know, which indicates one of two things either They're being kind of gentle or someone's waiting for a blowjob. You know what I'm saying. It's just it's got that look to it Everybody your huck you all right All's well that ends well He was fucking a totem pole with the Cherokee monster But now that he's taking a bath, everything's great

Oh, wow, that's a cold air The cold water must have done the trick because he's back What's the last thing you remember? Coming out of my mother's womb Walking in ramen Oh, I remember Coming out of my mother's womb. Walking and running. Oh, I remember. What's that? Walking and running, shucking and fucking. That's all. Look, Huckleberry's had a security.

Oh, security. Doing a fine job, Huckleberry. Keeping everybody away from the totem pole. Coming to in the water. Jeff on top of me. Bill's there and I look up the whole team's there I have no force them. I'll never forget I do what I've been doing did you see it back? Like I don't think of the earth I Can't tell you for positive

Like eyes up here. My body was up here, my body was down here and I was watching everything I do. And I was making sweet love to that totem pole. It was the most beautiful thing in the world. I saw God in my own eyes as I was caressing that totem pole gently, lovingly. Sounds weird but that's the only way I can explain it. Wow, I wanna fuck a totem pole gently, lovingly. Sounds weird, but that's the only way I can explain it. Wow.

I want to fuck a totem pole. Wow. Wow. Trying to give you guys all the answers I can. We'll see you, brother. I hope it comes back. I'd love to know what the hell happened. I'd love to be able to tell you guys.

Well, luckily we got none of it on tape. Right. Luckily we got none of it on tape. Right. Luckily we caught none of it on tape. You'll be fine. Smash. I'm telling you, I've never felt like this. This is scary. I know Buck feels this way.

You have no control. I've never made love to a totem pole before. It's a certain kind of feeling. Yeah, after effects. Listen, I gotta ask this just obvious question too. Every episode, it's a certain kind of fear. Yeah, after effects. Listen, I gotta ask this just obvious question too. Every episode, it's a fresh start. They come back, everything's great. They're reinvigorated, they're gonna, new monster,

new location. They've been training. Yes. If you're really going through all this psychological torture, would it stand to reason that maybe you would take a couple of weeks off, a year off, two years off? You just got caught naked naked dragging a totem pole around the Appalachian Mountains. Don't you think that requires some vacation time?

Yeah, it does. Okay. What you do, you think you do, and you think you're fighting. This thing's strong. We didn't even get to go out to that stupid Cherokee devil. Tell you what we're gonna do. We're going home.

You've taken all our time, fooling around with that totem pole. We're gonna heal up mentally and physically. Oh, there you go. Hey, listen, I am doing good this week. You're tuned in. Yeah, and damn it, then we're gonna arm up. We're coming back.

Yeah, let's do it. Let's come back and give him some, yeah. back. Yeah, let's do it! Let's come back and give him some, yeah? Yeah, yeah, let's take a break so I can get to the bar. Yeah! Oh, that little guy, he seems like a little child. He's so excited. Guys. This team's on a mission to prove the existence

of Bigfoot in Appalachia. We'll come back. I thought it was the Cherokee Devil. Well, it is the Cherokee Devil. It's a version of Bigfoot that Appalachia. We'll come back. We'll come back. I thought it was the Cherokee Devil. Well, it is the Cherokee Devil. It's a version of Bigfoot. That you gotta understand, there's not just one type of Bigfoot. There are multiple types of Bigfoot.

And the mountain monsters are tuned into all of them. They know, they put their ear to the challah. That's fact. Yeah, I put my ear to the challah, and then they figure it out. And it's a fact. I swear it's fact. And these guys are determined,

one way or the other other to find that Bigfoot They're gonna be the imagine if they spent this much time energy effort and money Actually trying to find a Bigfoot. Maybe they would find Bigfoot. I think so and this is the most bizarre and Dangerous Bigfoot we've ever chased. We're going home We're gonna lick our wounds, we're gonna get our head straight, and we're coming back. Huck, I think you and Buck need to sort your thoughts. I just can't get over Huckleberry sitting there naked. I know and he's laying. He's kind of laying to the side.

He's just kind of like a puddle of old man just laying there. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Listen, I don't look any better naked, but I'm just saying, he's just kind of a puddle of an old man. Puddle. A puddle. Am I right?

Is that the best? I mean, yes, he's sunk to the floor. Yeah, he's sunk into the floor. And he's kind of leaning over, he's giving very much like, rose, like from the Titanic. Yes. Like, you know, you can't get on this door.

He's got somebody's big jacket over. He looks sad though. He really does. He looks whoope. But again, I want to remind everybody I think it's best we're seeing Huckleberry naked and not any of the other guys because I think this is the best of a bad choice. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. After what happened with Buck and me, Jeff and Trappers. Buck and I. We're gonna have to start doing a bunch more research. We're gonna have to dig into this Cherokee myth.

And why are they blurring out his chest? He must have a tattoo there that they don't like, yeah. Take and find out to fight this Cherokee devil. I guess the Nazi tattoos don't go over too well on travel channel. Huh? Give us half a chance. All right. There's a second part of that. I think there might be a middle part there that we missed with the manila envelopes. We did not see the manila envelopes, but anyway, the mountain monsters did not fail to catch the Cherokee monster, but Huckleberry got a bath. So I guess that's good. Speaking of aliens and monsters, have you been keeping up with the New Jersey drone situation? The East Coast situation that is going absolutely

bananas. People are demanding answers and I have one for you. They're New Jersey drones. That's what they are. They're drones from New Jersey. Yeah. What happened? I don't know about this. Hundreds of people, maybe thousands of reported sightings of drones, many people calling them UFOs, likely not over New Jersey. Some people think they are Iranian actual like military drones, and some of them are rather large. I was gonna say, somebody was saying something about car size. Yes, so they can be car sized. Drones come in all different sizes. Matter of fact, the U.S. military flies drones that are the size of fighter planes. They're literally planes, autonomous planes. But the kind that you can get commercially available usually don't have battery life more

than an hour or two. Some people reported seeing them for up to four or five hours up there in similar places, moving in ways that they're not supposed to move. But the US government has assured us, and of course the US government is assuring everybody that what we're seeing... It's safe. Yeah, it's safe. Don't worry about it. People are freaking the fuck out.

They think that aliens have now just they're out there dancing with other drones and airplanes. They're making their move, essentially. I tend not to believe that. I would love to think that we're finally having contact because that would be really fucking cool and maybe not, I don't know. But all the videos that I've seen, I feel like those could be explained away

as either commercially available drones that have something has been put on them, like some kind, you know, you people make like Star-track drones Star Wars drones. They make drones in all different shapes and sizes So are these people that are just fucking around likely? Right. Also, is it possible that there are military or law enforcement drones that are out there also? Tracking people and the government just doesn't want to say for whatever reason. Yes. Is it likely that they're actual UFOs? No. It's not likely.

I'd love to believe it. You know we would, but I'm just not convinced. I haven't seen any convincing video. Lots of people putting together super shitty fake videos, you know, trying to claim. And there are hundreds of thousands of people collectively on social media that are desperately buying into this. They think this is it. Here it comes. Here's our time. You know, this hysteria has been going on since the 1930s, and it's not going to go

away anytime soon. Do I believe that there are aliens? Absolutely. Do I think they've been here? Maybe. Maybe we're aliens. Maybe we dropped from a meteorite in the sky or our DNA did. Somehow, some way, shape or form. But until someone actually shows me some proof, and there are convincing videos out there like that military video, but until someone shows me convincing proof, I think

this is likely some dickhead in his mom's garage building interesting drones and flying them around New Jersey and other dickheads in their mom's garage building interesting drones and flying them around New Jersey and other dickheads in their mom's garage flying other drones because now they want to get on the action and see their drones on social media. Do you know what I'm saying? That's my opinion, but stay tuned. We never know. I mean, what do you think? I mean, I think exactly what you said. I think it's just a bunch of people that are fucking with people. And if there are really thousands of sightings of these, someone is gonna catch a video,

if it is an alien or a UFO, an actual UFO, someone's gonna catch a video that is good quality enough that we will be able to see and it will be convincing. If they don't, then it's just dickheads in their mom's garages. That's all. Yeah, I mean, how would we even know really the difference if there was a real one or a fake one or who, what?

I mean, you have to make contact, I think, to know. If there are aliens and they got here, they're either been here for a long time, like octopuses, right, our aliens, or they are so fucking advanced that if they don't wanna be seen, they're not gonna be seen. If they wanna be seen, they'll be seen.

And also, if there are UFOs and it's advanced technology, they will fly in ways we have never seen things fly before. And there are, again, there are videos out there that are pretty fucking convincing that the military has taken, you remember a couple of years ago, that was released. That one still gets my go. That one still makes me think, wow, maybe they did catch that on video. But so far, the New Jersey drones look like New Jersey drones.

Yeah, they do. Yeah, it looks like New Jersey drones. So stop fucking around, people. It's not Elon Musk, it's not the aliens, it's just New Jersey drones, I think, my opinion. But you know what? Stay tuned. Tomorrow we'll be back for more 12 Days of TCB.

13 Days of TCB, 20 Days of TCB. You count, you figure it out. However many episodes. I was talking to someone at the network today and he was like, it actually ends up being 20 straight days. 20 straight days of TCB. That's amazing, we did it. We're doing it.

Yeah, we're doing it. Which means we only have officially taken off four days the entire December. Isn't that crazy? That is pretty crazy. Yes. But our traffic hasn't gone up one bit. So I don't know what. No, I'm kidding.

Oh man. All right. Well, we wrapped up that mountain monsters nice and neatly. Yeah. And a bow for Christmas. We've still got lots of dating content to come MTV, uh, old MTV dating shows, the love connection and a spare very special Christmas, even Christmas day for you. You know, we can only end the year with one kind of bow and man, are we going to wrap it up for you. So stay tuned to the 12 days of TCB in the

meantime, like so many of you have, please text us. Let us know how it's going. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. You can also follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, TCB Podcast on TikTok, or you can go to the website, tcbpodcast.com. There's more information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. If you'd like your free TCB bumper sticker,

one that will probably last at least 30 days, go to the website, hit the contact us button. The dropdown menu says I want my free sticker. You can give us your physical address and away it will go. Guess what? All episodes of the commercial break now available on video. We spent all this money to make the studio look nice. Why don't you go watch us look nice on youtube.com slash the commercial break or you can check

out the full episodes on Spotify about three days after they air. And I wish I could put them up the very same day, but it doesn't work that way. Yeah, I've been watching those. Have you? They look good. On Spotify? Spotify, uh-huh. Good job. Yeah.

Yeah, we just have to find a way to make money off that. Then we'll be great. There's a lot of people actually watching them on Spotify. So please tune into Spotify a couple of days after they air here and you can watch it. Donate all the fantastic causes we've been talking about. The National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, St. Jude ASPCA, and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for right now.

I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until tomorrow, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, Goodbye. We will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye! That's my opinion! Have no family to celebrate Christmas with this year?

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