The Commercial Break - 911 Is A Joke In Your Town!

Starting point is 00:00:00 And welcome back to WSHIT's news at 735. It's news you can use before you snooze. A bit of exciting entertainment news coming out of Los Angeles today as a judge in the Britney Spears' conservatorship case has decided to drop Jamie Spears as the main conservator leaving Britney basically free. We go now live to Los Angeles where our special correspondent, Scott Dringer, is outside the court house with reaction.

Starting point is 00:00:34 Scott, what is the mood outside the courthouse this afternoon? How are Brittany Spears fans taking this exciting news? What you don't realize is that Brittany's making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her She hasn't performed on stage in years Her song is called give me more for a reason because all you people want is more more more more like like

Starting point is 00:01:01 And we will let Scott compose himself for a minute and be back after this commercial break. Good morning, my neighbors! Hey, fuck you! Yes! Yes! Fuck you too! On this episode of the commercial break. For those of you that don't know Lulero is a subject of a documentary that is on Amazon Prime right now.

Starting point is 00:01:35 Fascinating, fascinating stuff. It talks about the, just in general, Lulero, the company, but then the world of MLM marketing. I guess MLM marketing is kind of saying the word marketing twice. It's a multi level marketing marketing is what it is. Right. Right. It comes up on my news feed.

Starting point is 00:01:51 I literally get four different alerts that Courtney K. and Travis Barker are now engaged. I don't fucking care. The world has reached peak meaninglessness. I said it about the couch guy. I mean it doubly by Courtney K's engagement. No one fucking cares! Did you guys have fever, Ethan? No, I'm just, I think we're I think that happens. But you know, you mean,

Starting point is 00:02:25 shaman after your shaman with the cane. That's right, with my shaman stick, an episode you'll never hear it, but maybe I'll play some clips of it. Just to give you an idea, well, we're talking about Chrissy and I last week recorded an entire episode about cocaine. It was me, well, I'm not drunk. I'm not all kinds of drugs in general.

Starting point is 00:02:43 It's just ended up being mostly about cocaine and acid and Brian's Jamin days as an acid coach. As a trip coach. I had a cane and I would walk around with my doc Martin telling people what to expect. The next episode of the commercial break starts now I'm Brian Green. This is Kristen. Holy and happy holiday. This is you Chrissy That's to you Brian best to you out there on the podcast. I want to audience.

Starting point is 00:03:25 Thank you for joining us on yet another episode of the commercial break. I have a question for you. Oh, you do. Yes. Would you like to buy some leggings? Uh, yeah, sure. I love leggings.

Starting point is 00:03:36 I've got these incredibly wonderful printed pant leggings. Buttery soft. Buttery soft, silky smooth. You've never had a pair of leggings like this before in your life You may notice but they're on discount because you may notice a couple of issues For moldy they will give you crotch rot I Send to free bottle of a moxasilla with every with every panty They're like a banana on the cross

Starting point is 00:03:58 There's an actual vagina in your vagina the picture of your vagina in your vagina. It's great for your daughters at home there too. Exactly. I'm the new Lula Ro representative. Okay. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it.

Starting point is 00:04:14 I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it.

Starting point is 00:04:22 I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. Lularo is still, for those of you that don't know Lularo is a subject of a documentary that is on Amazon Prime right now

Starting point is 00:04:33 Fascinating fascinating stuff. It talks about the just in general Lularo the company, but then the world of MLM marketing Yeah, I guess MLM marketing is kind of saying the word marketing twice. It's a multi level marketing marketing is what it is I have had so many friends over the years. I have been approached. I think we all have you and I Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Starting point is 00:04:50 Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Starting point is 00:04:58 Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.� Right. Right. right. Right. Right and 500 people in a hotel ballroom and there were a couple of people of front talking and the, I'm, Chrissy and I were,

Starting point is 00:05:06 I think we were actually taken by the whole thing. We were like, wow, this is great. It's hard not to get excited. When you go to these and, hey, I've known some people that have definitely made money and I'm writing in fields, I buy their products because they're great products.

Starting point is 00:05:20 But yeah, after the couple levels of people are in on it, it's just with any MLM, it's hard to make money. I worked for a guy once, who I liked very much. I considered him, I consider him one of my life mentors, right? He was one of those guys, like you'll never forget to be. There's so many MLMs out there too. He like took me under his wing in the restaurant business. And even though I was just like a little cooked up shithead,

Starting point is 00:05:44 he would always like looked out for me, protected me. He saw something in there. You know, him and I would talk for hours about this, and that'd give me little life lessons, and shit like that. I respected the guy very much, but every 15 days, he was onto a new MLM scan, and he was like.

Starting point is 00:05:56 Some people are serial people. My sister and I were just talking about those scan. I think he was selling like EggShell antibiotics at one time, like you made from pure larvae of chickens. The supplement and the cheese. Oh, it's the biggest. Yeah. It's the biggest one.

Starting point is 00:06:11 But some of the largest companies, retail, servicers in the world are MLMs. You don't think of like AMway and Rodin and Fields. And then there's this new one. What's the new one? Y'all living, this is the whole oil. Monet is a new one. The Monet.

Starting point is 00:06:23 It's a new one when you might want to get it on the phone. Quick. I think I have some friends involved in that. But so I know that there are people. There are people who are the legging. Lularo is the legging. When I know that there are people who do make money this, about doing this, but Lularo is a classic example

Starting point is 00:06:36 of how many people will never make money doing this. See, here's how you do it. I have to go to whatever the representative that I know from Lularo, and I have to say I want in and they go, okay, all you have to do is, you have to just perfect. All you have to do is just buy $5,000 worth of leggings from me, and then you're in, and then you have to go out and sell those $5,000 worth of leggings,

Starting point is 00:06:57 or alternately, how are you really gonna get paid? Is it if you're getting a pricey to buy $5,000? That's the real pricey, correct. And then on and on, it's called your upline. And by the fourth upline, there's like, you're already covering the entire world. Yeah, you're never gonna make money. So the people at the very top of the pyramid,

Starting point is 00:07:13 make tons of money. And good for them. They were given away $2 million checks a month to some people in this Lularo. It's fucking unbelievable. But the company didn't come crashing and burning down. It's actually still around today. No, it's still a lot.

Starting point is 00:07:27 Still selling moldy leggings. And pussy's on your pussy cat. Hopefully they're not moldy anymore. The problem with them, after watching the documentary, was that they, the supply problem. They had so much inventory and it was sitting out in like the open air warehouse with rain. Yeah, I'm just sitting down everywhere.

Starting point is 00:07:45 Yeah, you had to, yeah, it's just, you know. Where do you store your clothes? Outside of the bag deck, where else would I store my clothing? That's the perfect place for it. I imagine that clothing smelled like my Doc Martins did back in 1999. Brian's Doc Martins, if they were only around today, there probably some biohazard bags somewhere in there.

Starting point is 00:08:09 Another thing I thought was kind of funny with that documentary was that they interviewed this one woman throughout the whole entire series. She was the designer. Oh yeah. She was ahead of like the design team. And she's like, we had to call, we had like a cunt, our head to produce new designs. She's about the end of it where we're just coming up

Starting point is 00:08:30 with anything. Yeah, everything. We're taking pictures off the internet. Yeah, and just doing anything. She was tasked with making 100 new designs today, because the whole thing with Lou the Ro, I guess. I don't know. The only thing I know about them is I think I had one friend

Starting point is 00:08:43 that did it for a minute, and I never saw another post again. But then what the whole deal was was the leggings were the best silky as softiest leggings you've ever had in your entire life. And they would make like five, literally five of a particular print. Right. And then in one so it would go out, they would go on to the new print. So by the time they have hundreds and thousands of people selling this, there are 200 designers making 100 designs a day.

Starting point is 00:09:06 You can't do that. So what they were doing is they were just copying pasting on the internet. Anything didn't matter. Pictures of old men's faces, tiger penises. I mean, they were just putting anything on a legging and getting it done. It was really quite disturbing. Did you see that Kim Kardashian Kardashian on a Courtney Kardashian and Travis Barker got engaged? And I just wanted to take a moment. Look at that true love. Genue flexed. He put 5,000 roses in like a three foot high heart shape in a beach and

Starting point is 00:09:37 Venice. First of all, there aren't no beaches in Venice. It's like it's not a beachy type place, right? It's really not the most ideal of beach settings. But then he puts these roses, you know what I did when we asked her, and I got married, do you remember when asked her, and I got married? It was a wedding for the ages. I was there, yeah. I went and bought 500 roses,

Starting point is 00:09:54 and I put them up in the bridal suite before she got there. I thought that was an incredible gesture. Travis Barker asked to go one up me by putting 5,000 roses in a hard shape in the middle of Venice. Fuck you, Travis, unbelievable. And I just wanted to wonder, you're not just wondering. Who fucking cares?

Starting point is 00:10:09 Best, I know it was like on my serious news. Like I have the little news, but then I have like the serious news section. I did not expect this to be on my serious news alert. I got a news alert. Who cares? Who cares? Best of yours that they got in gay. Do people really, are people really invested in whether or not Courtney K falls in love

Starting point is 00:10:29 again? I mean, I mean, I mean, she is the hottest of the sisters. I will say that. In my opinion, she's the hottest of the sisters. So I was going to get engaged in one of them, would definitely be Courtney. But you know, and I don't even think it's Travis Barker, don't know. Is he a Bunkle, Blink 182 drummer? Yeah, okay.

Starting point is 00:10:42 Never really was into Blink 182. I think it kind of missed me by, you know. What was that song that they said? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know either. I mean, I probably would know it if I heard it, but I can't place it right now. No, yeah, Jake, whatever.

Starting point is 00:10:56 So she puts all these roses out and then it comes up my news feed. I literally get four different alerts that Courtney Kay and Travis Barker are now engaged. I don't fucking care. The world has reached peak meaninglessness. I said it about the couch guy. I mean it doubly by Courtney Kay's engagement.

Starting point is 00:11:12 No one fucking cares. Stop alerting me to this bullshit. Every time I get an alert on my phone too, it's like, oh, something's happening. Something's happening. And then it's like Courtney Kay, good news to go to F. You know, Travis Barker getting engaged and then it,

Starting point is 00:11:24 fucking cares. Next love. Tell me about something important. Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, my friend, Chrissy Holi, because Lightstream, a division of SunTrust is actually a brand new sponsor of ours here on the commercial break. And by the way, yes, to answer your question, yes, credit card bills keep me up at night. Oh my gosh, I think you know during the pandemic, things were really crazy. Some people, you know, lost their jobs and needed to kind of supplement with credit cards. Now, maybe they've got another job again, and they're looking to kind of pay things down. And those interest rates make it so hard to do really make any headway at 19, 20, 22%.

Starting point is 00:12:10 It's crazy. Some of my credit card rates start at like 13 or 14%. And I mean, I'm not, I don't have 900 credit score, but I also don't have a bad credit score. And it might be smart to go ahead and pay off those credit card balances with a credit card consolidation loan. And these fixed rates started 4.98% APR for people with excellent credit and an auto pay discount. And the interest rate is fixed for the entire life of the loan, which is the best part about in my opinion. That's the best part about it because you never have to worry about fluctuating rates

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Starting point is 00:13:06 Yeah, you know, you might have two or three credit cards that you've been kind of spacing things out and now you're trying to pay one down and you're paying minimum payments on the other and it just it keeps, it feels like you're spending your wheels and not getting anywhere. So I think this is a great option as far as being able to consolidate everything into one place with one monthly payment. I agree with you 100%. I do have to say that one of the things that causes so much stress in everyone's life is concerned about money.

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Starting point is 00:14:06 And if you do that, you get a special rate discount because you're a TCB listener and because the people at Lightstream are a sponsor of the show. So we encourage you to. I'm already thinking about doing this. I honestly am. I'm like, we were talking to the people at Lightstream

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Starting point is 00:14:47 We'd like to say thank you to my stream. Thank you. And now it's time for the disclaimer. This offer is subject to credit approval. Rates range from 4.98% APR to 19.99% APR and include a half a percent auto pay discount. Lois rates require excellent credit. In terms and conditions do apply. Officers are subject to change without notice. So please visit lightstream.com slash TCP for more information, l-i-g-h-t-s-t-r-e-a-m dot com slash TCP for more information. Oh my gosh, guys, I am so excited about a brand new sponsor Beachbound.

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Starting point is 00:16:56 It's your one-stop shop for everything. You can find out more about Chrissy and I, you can read the show notes, you can watch the video, you can listen to the audio all from tcbpodcast.com. You can also get your limited edition collectible sticker right from the website. Drop your information, we'll tell you how to get it, we'll tell you where to put the information all on the website, one place, no worries. 661-237-8296, that's 661, the word best, the number 2-YO. If you'd like to text us about show content ideas, you have a question, you'd like to

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Starting point is 00:18:02 information I just talked about and And now, back to the show. Maybe it's on a Delta flight a couple of days ago, and she brings her own microphone and amplifier. Did you see this one? No, no, no. Okay, so she has like one of these headsets. You know, now you can, it's like almost like a, it's a little novelty toy. But you can buy a microphone that comes with a little amplifier that you can it's like almost like a it's a little novelty toy but you can buy

Starting point is 00:18:25 a microphone that comes with a little amplifier that you can hook to your belt. Okay. It's like a belt clip amplifier So you can walk around making an ass of yourself. That's great. We need more of those I have a friend who did this like for a whole video and she was like I don't I don't even know what the point was But she was walking around somewhere and bothering people with her microphone. And it didn't at all seem funny to me in order that I don't think it seemed funny

Starting point is 00:18:51 to anybody that was bothered by this. But posted it as if it was like a classic comedy clip. Nothing quite says fun, like, you know, crazy, going crazy out in crazy land. You watch, it was 16 minutes long. And it was so obnoxious. Why are you doing this to people? What were they doing?

Starting point is 00:19:08 They were saying things into it. She was going up to them and like, I don't know, I don't want to get too specific about it. Because, you know, I don't know and I don't want to hurt you about these feelings. But at the end of the day, it was not particularly funny and it really seemed to mean spirited in general. She was asking people questions,

Starting point is 00:19:22 but they were pointed questions about their political and personal beliefs. And then, instead of being clever, the guy in Comedy Central is clever about what he does. He just asks questions and makes people seem dumb without any, like, he's not being mean. He's not being prompting. And he's not being mean. He's just literally making you look like the jackass that you're actually. Well, he's making you think about what you're saying.

Starting point is 00:19:45 Yes, correct. But then there's like a different tactic which is just attack people and maybe that will be funny, right? Like let's just yell at you and make you seem like an asshole. Like my personal opinion about you as a person and how awful you are is not funny to me. It's just attacking somebody. So this wasn't particularly funny, but what was funny was the little and a little clip that she had as she was running around this particular town So lady gets on a Delta flight and she has the same

Starting point is 00:20:12 Contrapption but a little headset with a microphone on it, right? So she gets up in yeah, like a call center Headset she gets up and if the audio was funny. I play it But it's almost you can't even really hear anything from it. There's just a lot of noise because she's up in the middle of a fucking flight. A 50,000 feet in the air. And she gets up with her little microphone and a little thing and she's like, attention, attention. You know you want to look at me because I'm pretty. Look at me.

Starting point is 00:20:35 Look at me. She's literally saying this. The pandemic was started by one in a human, one stupid human. The pandemic has fooled you all. She starts going off on the pandemic. And I'm like, holy fucking shit. That's not the point. There's lots of dumbasses who have dumbass beliefs.

Starting point is 00:20:51 But so the flight attendants come up and they have these twist tie handcuffs. And she's like, we're gonna have to arrest you if you don't sit down and shut up. So they literally twist tied her and and shut her up. Well someone on the flight also had a cell phone signal or something or they were she they have one of those old phones and they dialed 911 to report that there was a lady on a microphone. From in flight. From in flight. How do you do that? I about not on one of these flights or this

Starting point is 00:21:21 happens. Man, every time I get on a flight, I'm like, I mean, I've only been on one two flights since the pandemic started. Yeah. Every time I get on a flight, I'm like, I mean, I've only been on two flights since the pandemic started, but every time I get on a flight, I'm like, oh, please don't let this be the flight. I know. Some fucking moron has taped, they're literally duct-taping people to their seats now. It's just, it's gotten out of fucking control. It's gotten out of fucking control.

Starting point is 00:21:38 Way out of fucking control. We talked about airplane behavior a couple episodes ago last episode. Yeah, it's, everything but he's just got to settle the fuck down. Just go back to reading your magazine. Yeah. Farting in silence and taking off your shoes. I mean, I want to happily take the guy opening and closing the shade rather than one of

Starting point is 00:21:54 these shitheads getting up and starting a whole speech on Anthony Fauci. It's like, okay, we got it. You don't believe it. And for whatever reason you don't believe it, and that's not for us to debate here on this show. But just keep it to yourself. but just keep it to yourself. But just keep it to yourself like why are you trying to make a political statement or a statement at all in a fake came art what microphone in the

Starting point is 00:22:13 middle of a fucking flight with your 50,000 feet. But then somebody calls 911 as if what's who's gonna help. They're gonna be finer. Yeah. Yeah. They're gonna be finer jets. Yeah, like and intercept One location of your emergency. I think about 10,000 feet over Denver About 10,000 feet over Denver Why are you 10,000 feet over Denver? I'm on a flight

Starting point is 00:22:40 I'm on a flight from California to Atlanta and there's a lady with a walkie-talkie, and she's making noises about the pandemic. Okay, sir, here's what I need to do. Hang up the fucking clock! Right, it says to me. Not as easy making calls. Yeah, I can't wait until that audio comes out. That, when that audio comes out, we're gonna do it. But it got me thinking,

Starting point is 00:22:59 and I did some research on the internet as I do. As you do. There, they can't be the silliest 911 phone call that has ever been made, right? There's been lots. Actually the last episode I played a clip of a lady calling Burger King because they didn't make the Whopper a perway.

Starting point is 00:23:14 Yeah, I thought that was really funny. So I started digging in. Like we are not despondent or not despondent. What do you want me to do? Respond to your double bacon cheeseburger. Just drive away. Don't forget about it. People are in their sweeping.

Starting point is 00:23:30 The floor is very sudsy and soapy and they don't want to walk across it. It's like, lady, what the fuck? Someone is dying right now and taking up this operator's time. So that you can talk about your double bacon cheese, double western bacon cheeseburger. You're the western western just the fucking Dacity of it all it's unbelievable people have lost their fucking collective mind I know how many times I got to say it on this fucking channel. Okay But but there are many stupid nine-one-one phone calls out there in the universe and I

Starting point is 00:24:00 Pose them out of the ethos because I felt like this would be good for sure. So you're ready? Yeah. All right. Well, there's a couple of ones about drugs. There's ones about a boner. You want to listen to one about, oh, remember a couple episodes ago? I talked about how me and this girl had put in literally some like raw, like dirt weed I had bought into a Betty Crocker brownie mix. Do you wanna hear, do you wanna hear, so like a couple of years ago. And I think, maybe some people have heard this one, but a couple of years ago,

Starting point is 00:24:31 a cop bought some weed, like an off-duty police officer, bought some weed in him and his wife, did the exact same thing. They got some brownie mix, and they put raw weed directly in it. And neither of them had a lot of experience or any experience with weed whatsoever.

Starting point is 00:24:46 So the cop is so fucked up, stuck to the floor just like I was. Apparently he had the exact same night I did, just in the different state altogether. He literally called 911 on himself. You want to hear this? Yes. It's a couple minutes long, but I really think it's very funny. And I apologize. I know this has been out there for a long time.

Starting point is 00:25:03 If you heard it, you heard it. I don't want I've heard it. Okay, ready? Here we go. Do you want to hit the emergency? Yeah, can you please send rescue to... I think I'm having an overdose of this ghost, my wife. Can you hand your wife?

Starting point is 00:25:17 Yes. Overnose of what? Marijuana. First of all, you know this guy is a police officer because he says, I need you to send rescue. There's no one calls him, that's why I need you to send rescue. You say, but you know,

Starting point is 00:25:32 my son just phoned his eyeball out with a toothpick. You know, send an ambulance. You send, say, send an ambulance. That's what you say, right? And my wife and I just overdosed. And overdose it on what? I know. I'm like marijuana.

Starting point is 00:25:44 She's probably like, probably like really may feel like that there's actually no that to me it felt like that to me when I was when I was going through yeah okay okay how old are you 29 years old and my wife is 26. Please come. 26? Yes, please. So you guys were drinking also? What? So you guys were drinking today too?

Starting point is 00:26:10 No, that's it. No, that's it. Just the weed. Just the weed. No, that's it. I'm pretty much a lightweight. Yes. Just the weed brownie.

Starting point is 00:26:20 I'm 29. I don't know what weed is like. I don't know that you can't overdose on weed But I suppose there could be something in the weed you could have you know that could be a thought that could be a thought That's right. And then of course you're like oh my god. That's what is happening. That's happening. It's happening as I Spiral out of control No except for my police officer issued revolver. Right. OK, well, on a way, you guys have fever, anything?

Starting point is 00:26:51 No, I think we're dying. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ah. This is like an exact replica of the night that I had. This girl kept telling me she was dying, and I'm like I think so I think that happens, but you know Shaman after your shaman with the cake that's right with my shaman stick an episode you'll never hear it

Starting point is 00:27:16 Maybe I'll play some clips of it That just to give you an idea Well, we're talking about Chrissy and I last week recorded an entire episode about cocaine About drugs about all kinds of drugs in general. It's just that it'll be mostly about cocaine and acid and Brian's Jaman days as a, as an acid coach. As a, as a trip coach. I had a cane and I would walk around with my, with my dog Martin, telling telling me what to expect.

Starting point is 00:27:47 Twice as high as they were. Because if you're gonna be a trip coach, you gotta be tripping. You gotta be tripping more than you are. You gotta be a subject. That's how you communicate to Lepathy wise. How much did you guys have? I don't know, we made brownies. And I think we're dead.

Starting point is 00:28:03 I really do. I think we're dead. I know this feeling. I know this feeling. I Know the feeling that I don't care who I'm talking to. I'm dead Did I tell you about the time that I took a bunch of LSD out of party? Probably a bunch of us did and we ended up and then party dissipated and everyone was way fucked up And you know when we were doing LSD we just used to smoke a lot of weed thinking it would calm us down Right and what it was really doing was putting us into orbit like amp in a small room talking, someone was playing guitar, it was like three girls. Someone was playing guitar.

Starting point is 00:28:45 Someone was playing guitar. Of course, someone was playing guitar. Yeah. Someone's always playing guitar. Someone's always annoying everybody else with their guitar play. It's usually me. And there was a small TV on and all of a sudden I got like super tunnel vision. Like I disassociated from myself.

Starting point is 00:29:03 So I ran into the bathroom, which was the worst possible thing I could have done. Looked in the mirror. Right, yeah. Trying to calm myself down. No, once you look in the mirror, it's all over. It's game over. I got into a hot shower with all of my clothes on, and then when I got out of the shower,

Starting point is 00:29:15 I took the clothes off. All my clothes. Okay. Completely naked. And I was- You were the naked guy, one LSD right around the party. So freaked out.

Starting point is 00:29:24 It wasn't a party of that one. It was just like 10 people in a bedroom. But I was the naked guy won LSD right around the party. So freaked out. It wasn't a party of that one. It was just like 10 people in a bedroom. But I was so freaked out that I was dying that I walked into the bedroom. I didn't have any clothes on. Perfect. Let me tell you the other side of the photo. Well, you freaked out everybody else.

Starting point is 00:29:39 Oh my god. Freaked them out. Subestged. Oh, good. The St. Fie's glass. And do that. Simple. I think they still tell that story. Freak them out and the best joke of the St. Fie's glass of Do that I Think they still tell that story

Starting point is 00:29:49 Hey, do you hear about the guy Brian Green came in with acid penis. Oh Yeah, there's something called acid penis. It's not growing. It is not showing. It's getting in any It just goes right in. I don't know why. Yeah. It's tripping too. It's like, ah! How much did you put in the brownies? I don't know. Who made the brownies? My wife and I did Cuba come here okay she's on the she's on the living room ground right now is she breathing she's barely breathing how do you know that sir I'm just taking the educated guys I don't want to touch her okay can you

Starting point is 00:30:43 look pardon can you look yeah I could feel. She's laying right down in front of me. Time is going by really, really, really, really, really slow. Oh, I'm going by slowly. Slowly. Slowly. Okay, I'm on the phone with you. You don't answer. Do you know how much I've eaten your butt and put it in the brownies? Pardon?

Starting point is 00:30:55 I'm on the phone with you. You don't answer. Do you know how much I've eaten your butt and put it in the brownies? Pardon? I've eaten it. I've eaten it. I've eaten it. I've eaten it.

Starting point is 00:31:03 I've eaten it. I've eaten it. I've eaten it. I've eaten it. I've to make this call even funnier. This lady doesn't need to know any of this information. I'm going to do bye. Yeah, I'm going to do bye. I don't know, I this information. Oh, it's a new bike. Yeah, how much did you buy? I don't know, I'm dead. Have you never taken bot before? It's a brownie, sir.

Starting point is 00:31:31 It's probably like a quarter ounce total. A quarter ounce total is in the brownies? Did you guys eat all the brownies? Yeah, we did. I ate all the brownies. They did the same thing we did. It's tart with one. Start with one.

Starting point is 00:31:43 Start with half of one. Start with a quarter. You can always go up from there You can go back. No, you can't take it away a little less than I learned from my LSD Brownie wise what type was it? Was it Betty Grocker? Was it the chocolate vanilla swirl? Did it have icing on top? They're two for one of Kroger right now.

Starting point is 00:32:14 Oh, this lady, what does it matter? They're fucked up. They clearly just need someone to come help them calm down. Yes. Thank you guys, Hayd. I don't know. I probably have a small chance. Please calm. What time is it?

Starting point is 00:32:27 What time is it? I think that's going to snap the other buddy. It's 9.30am, when did you guys end up in the brownies? Probably like an hour and a half ago. Is your wife still breathing? Yes, she is. She's Neal and Diamond front of me. She's crying down. Oh, my God, my God.

Starting point is 00:32:48 She's crying down. What's going on over there? I thought she was on the floor laying down. Oh, we have to wait. Okay, is she C.C. Santa? Yes. And what's your name? My name is Edward.

Starting point is 00:32:58 You're Edward Santa? Oh, she's C.C. Santa. This is like the operator already is on to that. I never caught this about this particular phone call, but the operator he's never given his name. So the operator is already on to who this is. It's CC chance chance. CC chance and her other.

Starting point is 00:33:17 That's been CC wine and he's seeing music factory. Does that mean we're dead? Okay. And did you guys hear any other sort of drugs? You know what? Harden? You know, did you guys do anything else today besides marijuana? No, that's it, but I don't know what the marijuana could have been.

Starting point is 00:33:39 There could have been something in the marijuana. It's called THC, but it can't get toC, but it does what it wants to. Are you guys any sort of prescription pills? You guys dig a sort of under medication? No, no, I don't. My wife takes a vicar in though. And this is taking you today? No, I don't think so. Okay, where's the bike then? The bike it in is, it's in our medicine cabinet. I mean, how many? Where's the bike in it? How many do you have left? Go ahead and pop one of this. You might have, you might have I send a paramedic in to get those and bring them back to me. You take a regular basis? Yeah. How many does she take on a regular basis? Two or

Starting point is 00:34:23 eight? Like, I don't know, like, five a day. Please. She takes about five a day. Yeah. Five a day? It seems like a lot. Yeah, CC Sanchez is having a fun time over there. Five a day.

Starting point is 00:34:33 Well, you take two every eight hours, then that would be two divided by six. I'm carrying the one. That's 27, 27 a day. Did I do my math correct there? I think so. Just checking. Are you calling me?

Starting point is 00:34:43 Yeah, no, I'm the wait. They've been in my office for two minutes I think so. Just checking. Are you coming? Yeah, now I'm the wait. They've been here for two minutes. There's now 938. OK. And you take the heart. She's now reasoning with his own language. I'm going to eat it five a day. What's that?

Starting point is 00:34:56 How many does she take a day? She takes like, I don't know, like six. Six a day? Like five a day. I don't know. She, we got into a car accident here one height last year Okay last year what happened to her head fall off? Yeah, I mean that's like a long time to be taking those bikies baby No

Starting point is 00:35:22 any animals in the house? Is there any what? Do you need dogs, cats? I'll put them away for you. Okay, is the dog open? Yeah, the first one. Is there I, too? They ate some of the things. I gave some of them to them.

Starting point is 00:35:33 Come here, porch white eyes. Pardon? Is the porch white eyes? Yeah, the porch white is on. And any weapons in the house? You already asked me that. And what did you say? Oh, wow. He caught onto that. Yeah, well, no house? You already asked me that. And what did you say? Oh wow, he caught onto that.

Starting point is 00:35:46 Oh, yeah. Well, no, there is. Where is that? It's in my closet. Is that in the back bedroom? Yeah, in the front bedroom. In the front bedroom? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:57 She's making noise. Yeah. How does she know there's a front bedroom and a back bedroom? It's really weird. Okay Ginger ginger You guys party like this on a regular basis cuz me and my husband like to talk to you about an interesting opportunity to sell Lularo? We've ever done it. You've never done marijuana before?

Starting point is 00:36:36 Yeah, I have. You haven't you've never had this reaction to it before? Whatever. Did you eat it before? We're going to the Red Wing game I was going to the Red Wing game. Just going to the Red Wing game. What was the score of the Red Wing game? No, he said just go into the Red Wing game.

Starting point is 00:36:50 No, he said what's the score of the Red Wing game? I've only said it just did it before. He was going to the Red Wing game. No, he said what's the score of the Red Wing game? As if the operator is sitting there watching the Red Wing game. But I mean, you know what he's missing it so possibly. What's the there watching the red wave game, but I mean you know what is Michigan so possibly What's going the red one? I'm getting uncle I don't watch the right wing Okay, I just want to make sure this isn't some type of like hallucination that I'm having

Starting point is 00:37:13 Oh, why it was a squarced eye Uh three to three What channels it on? What channels it on? I'm like watching Three to three tight game he said it's three to three she said it's two to two okay your police tell your officers they just passed me tell your officers they just did an opportunity to arrest me

Starting point is 00:37:42 that's a good one. I like that one. You want to hear another one? Okay, here's a good one. Here's a good one. Okay, ready? Okay. All right. 29-1-1. Somebody's really drunk driving down Grant and Rhodes.

Starting point is 00:37:57 What's where they going? They are going towards Grant and towards Galesville. Towards Grant. Okay, towards grant. Okay, behind them or. No, I am them. This is my favorite. This lady is awesome. It's like, I don't know which where you go.

Starting point is 00:38:21 He's to west. I don't know. Where do you find that information on the car? There's somebody drunk driving Excuse me would you like to play a game? Someone drunk driving get through it is I Spy cute lady with two fingers. It's lady You have to go help me I've lost control of my drunk driving I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a guess. All right. I'm somewhere between first and the second street

Starting point is 00:39:10 I'm somewhere between first and third. Are you on second street? How did you know? You am them. Yes, I am them. Oh, now he's gonna correct her grammar She's just called herself in the D.O.I. And you want to correct her grammar? You am them Don't you mean to say you hang up and try that again, ma'am? How rude. Remember when the teacher you'd go, can I use the restroom and the teacher would be like, I don't know, can you? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so you want a claw and report that you're driving drunk? Okay, what's your name? Mary Okay, hold it. It's not like a marry to me. Yeah, she almost like whoa. We're like an average I'm a man. Yeah, she's like oh shit about to get real

Starting point is 00:40:01 Two guesses you got two guesses. Is either Mary or Mary? You tell me. Did I say Mary? Did I say that? You did? That's crazy. Do you ever go down to Lucy's bar and grill? It's crazy down there.

Starting point is 00:40:17 I'm the 62 year old grandma's. Squish his butt like cans with medits. One, one second, Mary, okay? Okay. Hold on, word second, where are you going? Someone's she's drunk driving, calling in on herself. Where do you have to go? Are you still driving right now?

Starting point is 00:40:31 Yeah. He was like, hold on. Hey Jim. Hey Jim. Jim, come on, Mary's calling herself in again. That's where he went. Hold on. Mary's everywhere.

Starting point is 00:40:42 Do you why this week? Get over all three, She's called in. Want to stop driving before you get in an accident? Yes, I will stop. Yeah, sure. Why not? Good idea, man. People are very polite up, Nord.

Starting point is 00:40:54 Hey, I guess. Okay, you're going to stop right now? Yep, I will stop right now. Okay, just hold on a second. Okay. Okay, I'm stopping. Just want to give you a second. Say in the middle of the road. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:41:07 Stop. I just want to give you enough date now. Stop. Okay. Just say on the phone. Okay. Okay. Still there, sir? He's still there. It's Mary. It's a Mary. I'm sorry. You sound like a man. Do you mind if we continue this as if you were a yeet. Sorry about that. What's your last day Mary? Are you stopped right now?

Starting point is 00:41:33 You're saying? So I turned my car off and turned the car off and turned the car. Should I put some handcuffs on myself? Yes. Throw myself into the middle of the street. This is crazy. This is the craziest thing I've ever heard. I know. I mean, I don't condone dunk driving ever

Starting point is 00:41:51 in any way she performed. This is 2021, there are so many other options. But if you're gonna drug drive, if that happens to you, if you're that guy who finds himself drunk driving, don't wake up to call the police or 911. Don't like snap yourself and go 911. Just pull over and get an Uber from this. If you haven't killed anyone,

Starting point is 00:42:08 then consider yourself lucky. Yeah. Get an Uber from whatever point. Mary just wanted them to know. Why did you think driving down the road? What's that conversation going on in her head? Man, I am a hammered. I had a tells the buddy about that.

Starting point is 00:42:23 If I was someone, if i was watching the authorities i want to look up on the loose i i am late for my little row party and that's coming from a little yet that's right lulando row party's a crazy yep that's fine if you want to turn it off and turn a flashers on some

Starting point is 00:42:43 we can find you. Were you coming from Mary? I came from the Yale Zone. I'm coming from the Yale Zone. Were you drinking the Yale Zone? I was drinking all over. I'm sorry. I was drinking all over. I took a sewer of deer-born. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:43:00 She had got crazy, you know what I mean? It shouldn't be driving Only people you get to call it on that shelf. Oh Just take your did just three or four day Mary Not many But I guess it's better than getting an accident and killing yourself for somebody else No, I don't hurt anybody. I'm drunk My name is OGL. What's that?

Starting point is 00:43:28 I like OGL. I guess if you're over the legal limit, I mean, man, I know I am. It's really sucks. I'm thinking of calling it myself. I'm talking to the right thing. Like that would somehow give her credit. Do I get immunity for calling in the office? I mean, if I'm the officer, I'm like, well, Mary, you're the best herb for drunk driving. Yeah, I'm gonna give you a ride home. We'll call it today.

Starting point is 00:43:54 I mean, if they don't even see her driving, can they technically give her a DUI? Yeah, she's in the car. I don't know. I see so many cameras. If I was, she's admitting it right there on the tape. If I was her, I'd jump into the passenger side and go, I see so many cameras. She's admitting it right there on the tape. I'm sure I jump into the passenger side and go,

Starting point is 00:44:08 don't know where Mary went. Mary took off that way. Hurry get her. 0-0-6, right Mary-3-0-0-6. You see somebody coming inside? Yeah, but I think she's going right by. Oh, wait a minute. Oh no, they're both black. Oh shit, man. Oh, no, that goes back.

Starting point is 00:44:25 Oh, shit. I'm fucked. I keep credit for Mary. Credit's a very, by the way, a little follow up on Mary. Mary did get arrested for a DWI. OK. And she was given some leniency at the court sentencing. And I believe they dropped that to a reckless driving.

Starting point is 00:44:39 OK. And then some of the cabin stuff like that. What happens when you call? Have you met a hot police officer or a firefighter? Sure. You and Rachel were kind of, that were riding on the back of a man of fire department. And a couple other friends,

Starting point is 00:44:54 Kimmy, one of them, we were out at a holiday or a Halloween party. Halloween party. Halloween, like little, two-erred. Yeah. And, you know, one of the friends had was on crutches. And so that's the fire department.

Starting point is 00:45:09 The fire department passed us. Thought we were cute. We thought they were cute. They said, let's give you a ride to where you need to go. And we did. We all jumped in. I'm over the next day. I told you, and you were like, that's an awful way of our tax dollars.

Starting point is 00:45:23 Yes. Who? You guys got a ride over me. It was fun. I know, but it's a fight of war. We're pretty worn. Oh my God. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:32 All right. So you met a hot police officer, a firefighter or two? Yes. What happens when you meet that hot firefighter, a police officer responds to some kind of incident, but then you forget to get their name or phone number. What are you going to call? 911?

Starting point is 00:45:47 Yes. 911 didn't fire medically. No, man, am I done. I don't have an emergency tube. This officer just left my house just now. I heard. Can I get the name please? What the...

Starting point is 00:45:57 This is music turned down. He was a student at the company. I didn't know that that's how long I did. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know that. I didn't come very often. A good looking man comes at you. George that unless you've called them for an emergency

Starting point is 00:46:12 Tinder 911 I'll help you It's calling to figure out which fire which fire me just say me all that was that about this or something Which fire fire men just say rescue me from my burning building? Oh thank god you go hold it's opposite or Sanchez! Officer Sanchez has been known to cook pot brownies on the weekend. He's married to a girlfriend currently on her knees and has killed

Starting point is 00:46:36 both of his dogs with marijuana. Officer Sanchez come on down! Could you zoom back my way? You need them to come back there? Oh, yeah, yeah, I like that. Yeah Why do you need them to come back there? Because I don't emergency I think of something I'll think of something I need him to put his gut in my ulcer if you don't I mean I'm so hardy telling it come this way. I'll think of something. Officer Santa!

Starting point is 00:47:14 Excuse me ma'am, I got a report of a disturbance. Oh, there's a disturbance right here in my Oh Officer Sanchez oh, Mrs. Crumpen It's like the beginning of a porn movie The TV TV TV TV TV TV minus TV TV minus He's cute But you turned back I think it's a partner from back my way with you. Okay, and what is the reason? My dog just blame it on my dog Play me on my dog at the beginning of the call, too. Did you say turn the music down? Yeah, she was she said they came over to her house to tell her to turn the music down and that's why they came over there

Starting point is 00:47:59 But just blame it on my dog. I'll just play it on the dog. David. Believe it on my dog. I'll shoot him here in a minute Everywhere don't even know the dog. David, believe it on my dog. I'll shoot him here in a minute. He'll be blooded everywhere. Don't worry about it. He'll tell the rest of the dead. You know, the music was too loud. You need to talk about the noise and playing as well. Exactly. Who's doing the complaining?

Starting point is 00:48:17 That's like Mary. I think you're playing on myself. That's right. Hold on. Thank you. Thank you. We will. It does some like music blasting back around. Yeah, what's going on over there? I guess I'm the one who has a loud noise. You want to get involved

Starting point is 00:48:39 me you and officer Sanchez. You come on back over and whether you come on back here I'm going to put in a Frank Mary 2020. If you know what I mean, a Frank Mary 69 is what I call it. Tell him to come over here and bring his ass pin his gun. He can put his gun in my holster while I put you ass pin your ass. You know what I mean? I'm going to be out of it. You know what's going on.

Starting point is 00:49:04 You've been there before. You've been to naked Zoom party. You know what's going on? This isn't your first time dialing 911. Naked day. It's an officer to shoot his load all over your chest. Oh my God. Ah!

Starting point is 00:49:21 Oh, it's music. It works out to loud music. Okay, and now what is what? I work out to loud music. Doesn't need to be that loud. Very loud. So loud. What's your headset on?

Starting point is 00:49:31 You need the officer to do. I mean, if you have another noise complaint, you get so... I guess so. Oh myself? Is she currently masturbating while she's on the phone? I'll figure something out. The dog. Have you heard of the provocacou or 3000 Jack rabbit with extender? I'm just gonna be honest with you. Okay. I just thought it was cute. I'm 45 years old and I'd like to meet him again. But I don't know how

Starting point is 00:49:59 to go about doing that without going 911. I know this is not absolutely way shaped of form and emergency. By the way, you can get arrested for calling 911 without going 911. I know this is not absolutely in a way to shape a form and emergency. By the way, you can get arrested for calling 911 without an emergency. Yeah, that's a pretty big. How many, have you ever called 911? Have you had to call 911 ever in your life? I don't think so.

Starting point is 00:50:16 I've called a number of times about a number of different things. Okay. Yeah, like car accidents or suspicious people. Yeah. You know, I need officer. I need officer. I just came over and put his gun in my holster. But if you were kicked off to my phone number to announce, and to come back, as is

Starting point is 00:50:35 then I know they have terrible lots of things to do in Oroa. Would you mind? I'll give them a message to call you. Thank you very much. Bye bye. I'll give them a message to call you. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. I'll give him the message to call you. Is that how you ended the phone call? She go over and arrest that lady immediately.

Starting point is 00:50:51 She is wasting fucking time. Yes. All right, here's a guy at a strip club. The county man is arrested after a deputy say he called 911 because he could not bring his kitten into a strip club. And the jokes just right themselves. He couldn't bring his pussy in to see more pussy. You and you set him up anchor man,

Starting point is 00:51:12 I'll keep medical them down. 47 year old Everett Lagas is in jail on $4,000 bond. Definitely say he tried to bring that kitten into the Emerald City Gentleman's club. When the owner told him he had to bring that kitten into the emerald city gentleman's club when the owner told me I had to leave he reportedly sat down inside the business and called 911 that's what the emergency services are for. I love this one. This one is really this this this operator in my opinion gets an award. The 12 year old is completely out of control and I can't physically can't physically if you could think I am I can't control it

Starting point is 00:51:47 Okay, did you want us to come over to shoot her? I think you got trouble And then she's like excuse me. She realizes just how ridiculous it is that she's calling me again Yeah, but what do you do? Wow, that's true. I mean, it's a whole different world. There's like, you kids call the nine and one of their parents because they get spanked. It's a whole different world.

Starting point is 00:52:12 Yep. What's the problem? I have bought some Chinese food and it's not to par to me and I ask you get my money back in there. It's like they don't understand me and just my food and won't give me my money back. And this is why you call 911. What am I supposed to do to jump over the thing and beat them up and get my money back? Yes, if you do jump over and beat them up, then you can call 911.

Starting point is 00:52:35 Exactly what you're supposed to do. It's all the regular police find instead of the life-sortening emergency life. Oh, sorry. And then that's it. Okay, ready? Here's a good one. I like this one. Oh, what's the, the boner one is real quick, right? Um, actually, um, what's the problem is, um, I took some pills and I'm actually, um, I took, um,

Starting point is 00:52:54 two, um, bi-agre pills and, um, my erection been up for like four days and there hasn't been any signs of change whatsoever. I'm really sick. Four days, this guy had any erection. Four days, I could only wish to have an erection for four days. Mine just comes and goes at random times. They haven't even know what's going on with it. But I usually can't convince it to stay around for more than 30 minutes. I mean, it's not going to stay around for four days. That's why that Viagra shit is dangerous when you're taking it.

Starting point is 00:53:24 I've already told you, especially though't mix cocaine and Viagra. Right, you're a deposited guy at the hospital. I know we literally kicked him out of the door. I mean, literally dropped him off at the front of the hospital, and the guy was sick. He was really not feeling very well. Because when all that blood is down there for so long, it's like you have like, you know, deprivation and all that shit.

Starting point is 00:53:42 He was walking in circles with a big fucking boner in his sweatpants outside of North Sinos. I wonder how many people have actually gone to the hospital before that? Oh, I'm sure it happens a lot. I'm sure it happens a lot. Yeah, probably, I mean, not a lot, but more than we think. Here's the guy who feels like the cops didn't uh... didn't do him any favors the night before so he thought he'd call and talk to somebody about it

Starting point is 00:54:09 share and the police hi i need to do a complaint about you share and all cops stole my believe last night okay money have you talked to supervisor uh... that's out of the uh... here's my I'm not a department.

Starting point is 00:54:27 Oh. Hi. Is this a sheriff? This is Sergeant Mark Dutlson with the chairman of police. It's a Martin Dutlson. It sounds like a police officer. Is this a sheriff? This is Sergeant Mark Dutl, some of the sheriff will police. It's Sergeant Martin Dutl, and it sounds like a police officer. It sounds like a Martin Dutl.

Starting point is 00:54:48 It's very authoritative. Yeah, but number one, but number two, why are you calling for the sheriff? Like the sheriff is gonna pick up your phone call because you feel like someone's all your weed. What a shithead. But wait, this gets so funny.

Starting point is 00:54:59 I can't believe this guy. Wait. All right, my name is Dutl. I had two cops come here last night and steal my fucking weed and I want it back. Okay, what address are you talking about? I was saying at a hotel last night at the night, at the time, my wife had some problem. You did call him.

Starting point is 00:55:20 My wife had some problem. Was that you? Yeah. You have a problem. You don't sound like Mr. Com Cole and collected to me. Now. Jack asked. And my wife had my

Starting point is 00:55:29 weed in there first. And the mother and cops took it. It was only like four grams, but it was really good. And we it was really good. Wow.

Starting point is 00:55:37 Now you're talking. Now we're talking to language here. Yeah. I've ever had someone that could weed them. Let me get on it. So upset over four milligrams, four grams of weed. You know what, four grams of weed is not a lot of weed.

Starting point is 00:55:51 But it's really good, fucking weed. But it's really good. There's only like four grams, but it's like, how much can you buy four grams of weed for? I don't know what the going market rate is. 40 bucks, about 40 bucks, sounds about right, right? $10 a gram? Sure.

Starting point is 00:56:03 Okay, so let's say it's I mean like in a head shop You've been in a head like in a in a marijuana dispensary. Yeah, so what I guess like $10 a gram I haven't tried to buy four grams so I don't He's like I buy mine and pounds For grams Like out of eyes for grams. I Buy buy buy buy buy buy buy the truckload From the weed it's prestige as fucking weed. I didn't know we can be for sticky. It's Presticky. It's

Starting point is 00:56:35 Presticky. It's a Presticky you know what the talking about is that California coach come on, Donaldson. I know you do a little Is that California coast? Come on, Dutelson. I know you do a little dab. Come on, Dutelson. Aren't you dabbing, dink, dink. Is that what they call it? Dab a little, do a little.

Starting point is 00:56:53 And the mother fuck is cooking. And from what I know, 100 grams is cool. What? Oh, your grams is cool, but I only had four. He's saying 100 grams is legal is what he's trying to say. Oh, God. Right? Where am I wrong? You are wrong. He's saying 100 grams is legal is what he's trying to say. Oh God. Right, where am I wrong?

Starting point is 00:57:06 You are wrong. Thank you, Mark. And then he's like, what? You are wrong. Don't try and tell me that. I know much. It's illegal. What do you mean by that?

Starting point is 00:57:17 Do you think it's cool? Where did you get that information? What do you tell him? 100 grams is legal. Am I wrong? No, it's not. What county is this? 100 grams of sleigh in my wrong. No, it's not What county is this? Hamilton County

Starting point is 00:57:30 Which state of my Kermit Jefferson is that you I'm sorry I'm throwing on the road together wrong mr. Bigford all together do you remember the movie days and confused when they bring the cake and then And then the father comes to the door and the beer salesman guy is like oh Wrong Mr. Pickford all together He's like oh is he well Actually, I didn't get any weed stolen totally wrong It is wrong all the other cereal. What counting? Someone took my lucky charm. I'll talk to you later. Bye, Dulleson

Starting point is 00:58:10 My heart did it did it did it do Camel can count you 100 grams is legal Okay, well, I mean It's not I'm just here to tell you that it's not. What do you mean it's not dude? Where you've been the past too much Two months ago it got past 100 grams. You guys don't take it no can take it I know I'm right here, dude. Don't try to talk to me like a dog Okay If you'd like to come down and follow complain against these officers you can do it

Starting point is 00:58:42 We Playing against these officers you can do it in both That's fucking both you know my weed back. How am I supposed to give it to your mark if you're not down here Come on down here, Mark. You didn't think this one through Mark all the way did you you want your weed back But you don't want to meet anybody for it now. You're not giving anybody a name of a hotel where you stayed So we can't figure out why you don't know what county. No, a county here is you said a hundred grams of weed is legal It's like a pound of weed No ticket no nothing Go on your way, I don't know but by offers I don't wear this

Starting point is 00:59:17 99 grams gotta let him go The letter of the law. The letter. You know what, Delsen marks right 99.9 grams. He's off. He's good. Send him on his way. Send him back to the motel six with the 99.49. What are they doing?

Starting point is 00:59:38 A way in your bag like at the airport? Yeah, you stand on the scale to make sure you're just under 50 pounds. Only 4 grams. It happened at like 2 30 last night. Did those mother put her in any weed? Did they say any weed? I just give it. They put it right in the

Starting point is 00:59:54 fucking pocket. Okay. Well, I'll take this as far as you want to go. Come get you some of this. I came here for answers. And I here for answers. I'm not leaving I came here for answers Take this is the brain

Starting point is 01:00:14 I'm going all the way to present I'll take this as far as you want to go You want to go to the state but it's your right. That's where I'm going to go to the state but it's where I'm going. Four grams is legal. How much you read the news? Good. Meanwhile, here's the news. He's in Tennessee.

Starting point is 01:00:35 Here's the news. Mendelssohn County, California, recently passed the law. We're realizing all we've under 100 grams. Now back here in Tennessee. See, I told you Well, they reported it on the local news Wait, they do stories about other states. Well, Officer Dutelson will see about that. I'll meet you at the president's office Take this all the way

Starting point is 01:01:02 I'll meet you at the president's office. Take this all the way. Mark's fighting spirit. Yeah. Why do I feel like Mark was on the January 6th of end? Yeah. Yeah. I'm just gonna go over your issues. I want my mother. We've got they did turn it in. Did they? They want your speed to a police police officer settle down no wonder they showed up at the hotel about your girlfriend yeah I can almost guarantee that was a domestic violence call almost guarantee you something we've left right about 2.33 a.m. I'd get here they didn't they stole my can we it was only four

Starting point is 01:02:00 grams they probably threw it out they're like he obviously doesn't need it. Do you remember, about two years ago, around Christmas time, when I got my car stolen, I got my car stolen right out of the, outside of the front of a house, that we were at, in a nice neighborhood here in Atlanta. My wife literally walked in to pick up someone from the house,

Starting point is 01:02:22 like pick up one of the family members and bring them back to my house. And in that three minute exchange, the car was gone. Like someone came, they stole the car right after they got out and quite frankly, luckily that no one got hurt. Who knows, a couple of kids joy writing. So anyway, I managed to track down the car with my little low jack system

Starting point is 01:02:39 and I also was in the high speed police chase with the officers as we ran around South Atlanta. We went almost to Alabama and came back to South Atlanta where these kids, then I've we assume kids, then ditched my car in the middle of a park. When they ditched the car with very little damage to the car, by the way, I managed to get the car back. The officer said, I can either have my, the sheriff come down here, impound the car, take prints, do the whole nine yards. You'll probably get your car back

Starting point is 01:03:08 in about 10 to 15 business days. They'll release it back to you. Yeah. Once they process it, or I can release the car to you right now, we'll keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Right. If we, you know, if we can piece it together,

Starting point is 01:03:20 he goes, likely we'll never find these kids. Right, sure. Even if we process their fingerprints, likely we'll never find them. He's like, likely, we'll never find these kids. Right, sure. Even if we process their fingerprints, likely, we'll never find them. He's like, it's probably just a bunch of kids. Yeah. And I said, OK, give me the car back. And he said, OK, I had an extra key with me.

Starting point is 01:03:33 We hope you could see when he was flashing his flashlight. He never touched the car. The officer didn't. When he was flashing his flashlight, you could see that it was just very smoky inside. And I thought it was because maybe they crashed the car or skated the wheels and smoke, right? But as soon as you opened the door, it was pot smoke. It was just sick. Yeah. And he was like, Officer was like, whoa, these kids really took a ride

Starting point is 01:03:51 for it. And in the back of the car, in the front of the car was a bunch of weed, like scattered all about this weed. But in the back of the car was a huge Tupperware container about this big full of marijuana, right? And so I was like, uh, and he's like, is that yours? And I'm like, do you think I'd say it was if it was mine? No. First of all, second of all, then we were laughing, right? Because clearly you see the situation when we're in now. And he said, well, you know, just dispose of it.

Starting point is 01:04:22 And I'm like, you want me to dispose of it here? You want me to drive with it? No, I don't want you to drive with it. Where's the park trash can? Yeah, that's exactly what I did. I threw the weed on the ground and put the tupperware in the trash can. And he just kind of helped me kick it around, you know? And he's like, the carry, the marijuana.

Starting point is 01:04:40 I mean, we were just kind of like kicking it around. The park grass were kids play. Just like, you know, putting the grass in the grass, man Hey, it's all mental officer Dutelson from the Atlanta police department. He's like So he goes well, it doesn't give you a piece of advice. He gives me his business card, right? He's like a whatever he's a he's a Georgia State Patron man is what he is. Okay. Yeah, he gives me his card And he says okay, listen my advice is go straight home, get the car washed tomorrow.

Starting point is 01:05:08 You may have to like tell it out. Yeah, get a detail. He's like, get the new car, son. Yeah, get that new car, son. I choose that. Don't choose the weed air pressure. Yeah. If you don't mind, there was weed everywhere.

Starting point is 01:05:22 It was on the floor board, it was everywhere. And now my main concern is I got to drive 45 minutes home with a car that smells like weed. That was just reported stolen, right? And so you don't know, I mean, you don't know, right? Somebody didn't get the message, whatever. I'm still in the system has stolen. I'm putting all this together

Starting point is 01:05:39 and understanding that my 45 minute drive home could be a lengthy one where I could get pulled over multiple times. Yeah. By police officers looking for the suspects. So he says, here's my card. My advice is go straight home. Don't pass go let the car air out for the night. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:55 Here's my card. If anybody pulls you over, if you get stopped by any department, have them call me immediately. And he's like, because you know, if you get pulled out of it. Because I'll be home, Dave, pop brownies. Yeah, because I'll be home. Because I'll be right here picking up all this weed. We just kicked into the ground. Oh, it was the funniest scene. I did not get pulled over,

Starting point is 01:06:17 but I had those windows all the way down. Oh yeah. And then I did it for days at Reed. I actually had to go put it into an ionizer. I think I remember getting into your car after that. I was like, whoa. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We had to go put it in a specialized ionizer

Starting point is 01:06:30 at the dealership for two straight days. They have situations that actually deal with this. They have an ionizer. Yeah, they have an actual car-sized ionizer. You put it in there and it puts blue light and red light or whatever, and it blows parts of there. I don't need that. Yeah, well, they use cars.

Starting point is 01:06:47 I mean, these cars need to smell better than what they probably smell. Right. I mean, you know, cloth seats and all that takes is a couple shits, stains, and your car is going to smell like that for the rest of your life. Why I say clean your ass. And I'm going to have about 200 grams.

Starting point is 01:07:01 I know the law. I know my right. OK. And if you're actually going to help me out, I'm gonna go with your can you stop talking for a second? Can you shut your bio? Listen, I'm about to get them, about to get off my shift here. Where are you again? I'll bring that to you. Yeah, let me just bring that I was about to go home and I was gonna let you off with kind of a verbal warning

Starting point is 01:07:23 and say you're an asshole. Don't me again, but keep pushing it, but yeah Okay, what what hotel were you at? I don't know some hotel with Sharonville, but I woke up in the morning. I asked my wife or my mother wife and my mother's feet was and she said the f***ing cops came to the hook it. Oh, I think I think your wife might have smoked it. I think she smoked it. I think she smoked it. She needed to chill out after a year.

Starting point is 01:07:49 She probably had a baby. Probably had a baby. Oh my god. I didn't think it was going to take it this far. Yeah. It was going to be four grams, but it was good. And that's not a f***ing stolen.

Starting point is 01:07:58 So the police officers took it from your wife? Yeah. And my wife said to them, they she for them. No. What? He's gonna have time to think. Yeah, he's not quick on his feet. So he's like, what? I said, did your wife get busted with the we what? What's your address? What?

Starting point is 01:08:27 What? What are you telling her? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But what I do know is... 100 grams is legal. And they kind of laugh, you know, tell it to the judge trying to f**k bulls.

Starting point is 01:08:43 Okay, what's your voice, man? Hey, I'm not trying to get it all. What? I've gotten that up as a clue. What? We should have an episode, 45 minutes. You ask me questions, and I'll go, what? You know, the money always says, you know, you're not going to get it all. You're not going to get it all. You're not going to get it all. You're not going to get it all.

Starting point is 01:09:01 You're not going to get it all. You're not going to get it all. You're not going to get it minutes. You ask me questions You know somebody always says that when they don't want to answer. Thank you. Yeah That's not the point let me tell you what we're talking about Our grimmies Lee are these whose panties are these what? I'm dare you That's the quick react. I'm gonna go like a quick comeback. I dare you whose panties are those Well, it's a question again. Oh

Starting point is 01:09:38 My god You called me you are some point I know you don't have gold work. I feel like you're just trying to Trap me right now and I'm not in trap you you call me Yeah And you had the weed. I know how you work. I'm cooking my feet. You hear me right? You won't get to me What I don't know where What are we're what are what I don't know what I want What I'm calling for but you won't trap me no sirimum

Starting point is 01:10:07 I'm street smart Mark's sharp is a cute I mean I have to say this police officer has a patient I mean, I have to say this police officer has patience. It is a patient of a Billy goat. He's just sitting there chewing on the grass. He's done with that. I was like this before. He's like, what am I going to do?

Starting point is 01:10:35 I'm going to get to that game, and all I want is my mother. We back. Can you at least answer me question? Do they have to talk? Do they want to share the last time? Did they turn in any? We. What's your wife's name? Marilyn Manson is my wife's name.

Starting point is 01:10:53 I did you took him a while to get one? I think he got some more we before he's on another type of drug. I think he's coming down off the right there. I think that heroin haze is raising off and he's really itching for some we. Yeah, what? Matthew Matthew Matthew. What's your wife's name? Over with free and better than me. I said I don't know. Ah what Cannot compute Okay, but anyway back to my I got you for your help. Well, did any cop,

Starting point is 01:11:26 did any share of those cops turn in and we last night? Hey, how, how do you think it's possible that you call me and be completely unreadable? And then I can't have a conversation with you and use that to any kind of adult. I'm not trying to be unreasonable to you.

Starting point is 01:11:41 Okay, what's the right thing? Answer me the simple question. Watch your wife. Wait, why I under what circumstances is this officer? He wasn't the person that was there. How does he know if any weed was turned in what? Well, he's asking Matthew's asking him if there was weed turned in but this All-in-the-woman at the very very beginning of this said here's my see Right away I look at the woman at the very very beginning of this said here's my see Let me answer You got back your tricks. I know how you get it. Um click on my feet. I'm like a cat on a hot

Starting point is 01:12:19 Watch me dance around you with my mental gymnastics If I don't answer any questions, they'll never catch me. Matthew, you called me for your weed back. What? What were we talking about? Where were you? I don't know. What's your name? My name's Marylyn. Here's my favorite. I'd like to plead the fist. No, but it's like This is you hear that a lot, right? I like to plead the fifth. Oh, would you?

Starting point is 01:13:07 Described every officer in the Sharonville department Down a little bit. Yeah, you got an arrow down to be there, buddy That came here and took it You know, they didn't you know, take it? You know if it's in illegal, you know, they said you know They said they'll tell us to the judge kind of bullshit Your words my we stick it then if it's not legal We take it my we dig it. Yeah, but anyway, I can tell this is a losing situation I just want you to look at Let them know they're all notice You didn't get me

Starting point is 01:13:43 They're all notice you didn't get me Okay, Matthew one police officer does in zero Did you hear that phone call I should have been in the journey If I wasn't such a heroine addict, I should have been an attorney. Ah! Ah! Ah! The nine-month one, one calls are gold! So much fun. I've got a million of them. I like that.

Starting point is 01:14:14 Those are funny. That's not the only ones we've got. But anyway, you know, we can only do so much in one show. There's only so much we can tackle in one episode. Yeah. We do for the next episode. You never know. That's why you got to tune into the the commercial break, T-Cee.

Starting point is 01:14:26 What? What? What? What? Would you like to buy some Lulera? What? Someone comes up to you with their MLM scheme, you just say, what?

Starting point is 01:14:37 What? More than 100 grams is legal. Oh. Wait, less than 100 grams are more than 100 grams. I can't remember but I read it on TV You read it on TV What county are we in Smith? Oh Miss it and what Kelly are we in let me rephrase the question is it indeed legal? Smith County

Starting point is 01:15:04 My mental gymnastics will outrun you every time. That's right. Matthew was on to it. Alright, well, you know, call your Lulero friends telling them to join us. tcbpodcast.com is where you go. You can find out more about Chrissy and I. Read all the show notes. All the video and audio are right there. Follow us on Instagram. Add the commercial break on YouTube.

Starting point is 01:15:23 YouTube.com slash the commercial break. If you would like your limited edition collectible sticker from TCB go to TCP podcast.com click on the button get your sticker right there you'll be able to find out how you can get a sticker and drop your information so you can send it oh yeah they're just beautiful look at that YouTube.com slash the commercial break if you want to take a look. That's edition one, but edition two is coming right up because we're almost out of one. So hurry, act fast.

Starting point is 01:15:53 Like, rate and review on your favorite podcast platform. Please, it does us such a huge favor. A lot of people have been doing that. We really appreciate it. Continue to do that. It does us, it helps in so many ways, I can't explain. But like, rate, and review on your favorite podcast publisher. Again, thank you to Castbox for helping us out and going to

Starting point is 01:16:11 Mempho. That's Catherine, that's Valentina, that's Calvin Castbox. It's a wonderful podcast app you can put on your phone no matter what phone you have and listen to us straight from Castbox. Who else we got to thank? We want to thank Cieta Chips for the snacks inside of the.E.T.A. chips for the snacks inside of the studio. We wanna thank Moon Cheese for the snacks inside of the studio. We wanna thank Project Poyo for feeding us when we were at Menfo. All right, that's it. That was a lot of stuff. People just send us free stuff and then I'm like,

Starting point is 01:16:38 you know, I feel of, I, nothing we feel obligated, but I wanna mention them. I wanna let them know. Absolutely, there's good stuff. Moon Cheese is delicious. Try the Fuego C.E.T mentioned them. I want one less than that. Absolutely, there's good stuff. Moon Cheese is delicious. Try the Fuego Sea FHIPs. Yes, very good.

Starting point is 01:16:47 Yes, very good. Catch them on their food truck tour. Yeah. Okay, that's all I can do today. Gracie, I love you. I love you, Brian. Best to you. Best to you.

Starting point is 01:16:57 Best to you out there in the podcast. Best to you. Universe until next time we must say... Bye! The commercial break. New episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library.

Starting point is 01:17:21 Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Houdley, with Thank you. you

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