The Commercial Break - A Very Rooney Thanksgiving
Episode Date: November 27, 2025Happy Thanksgiving! From everyone at TCB and Andy Rooney...the very lively, possibly creepy and well lived child actor turned, older child actor. Let us all praise his acting abilities! Watch EP #...872 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits & TCB Tunes: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green. Rights Reserved To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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It's the toughest thing in the world for them to accept their own individuality.
Who they are.
When that is the most important thing in the world.
Why are you yelling at it?
I know.
He's just so bad.
He's screaming at me.
Like thumbprints, no two are the same ever.
And you've got to be proud of that.
What's your last name, Erica?
Pandan?
Let me hear you.
What if he just goes...
What if he just goes...
Cut?
Line?
Whiskey.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Casta Kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Green.
This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show.
Chris and Joy Haudley.
Best to you, Chris.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
If you're streaming with us, welcome.
If you're not streaming with us, then...
Happy Thanksgiving to you, as this is probably coming out sometime around Thanksgiving.
Yes.
So there you go.
Likely Thanksgiving Day, but we'll have to see.
I'll make executive decisions later on.
I don't want to pin myself to a day yet, Chrissy.
No, keep your options open.
Like my green pants?
I do like your green pants.
I like my green pants.
I'm a fan of green pants.
I have a couple.
I went and had a date with my coffee husband today.
Oh, yeah.
He had a very similar green pant on.
So there you go.
You guys are sinking.
We are, our brains are melding together.
We're two ADHD, coffee drinking, dog-loving, old men.
Let's catch us up on him for a second.
Wasn't he going to a wedding?
He did.
Over in Italy or something?
He went to his daughter's wedding over in Italy.
A very nice wedding put together by him, paid for it by him.
Yeah, it was quite the to-do, quite an affair apparently.
I'm a fan of Italian weddings.
Jeff and I got married there too.
Yeah, this happened back in September.
I don't want to give away all his personal information.
But apparently from the pictures and from the stories, it all went well.
It looked very nice.
They spent a couple weeks in Italy.
That's what you do.
That's what you do.
That's the fun part.
And like he said, my daughter decided to come where me and my wife worked so that they could get a free hotel.
Right.
Well, then there's that.
That's what you do too.
You let dad pay to the kicking and screaming to the very end.
You let the parents pay.
I agree with her methodology.
and I think he's okay.
I think he's got the money to do it.
I mean, I don't know, but it just seems like, listen,
if you make a decision to let your daughter have a wedding in a far-flung location like that at a beautiful resort or whatever it is,
you're not being spurious with your cash.
You know that you can afford it.
You put it on the credit card.
Get the points.
On the black credit card.
That's what you do.
So very nice guy.
Love my coffee husband.
Aw, I know.
Just as much as I love.
love my non-coffee wife. Although my wife has started to drink coffee. I think the children have
gotten to her. Really? She never drank coffee when we met. Remember the air, remember airplane the movie?
Yes. He's like, oh, that's funny. Never has a second cup of coffee at home. That's my wife.
I'm like, oh, that's funny. And sometimes she's drinking too. And she makes the coffee herself.
And so I always find that to be very interesting because I'm too fucking lazy to do that. So instead,
I go pay $12.96 for this much coffee from, you know, the world's largest. I used to make.
We used to make ours on our own, too.
We got a nice coffee maker.
We got the bean grinder, all that stuff.
Do you still make your own coffee?
Well, we don't because Jeff stopped drinking coffee.
Oh, he did.
It just was too much.
It was making him too jittery.
Yeah, too anxious.
So, you know, he kept having kind of like mild panic attacks, you know,
especially with all the festival stuff that he was going on,
and there's a million balls in the air and whatever.
So, you know, one day I said,
do you think it's the, like, two huge, large cups of coffee that you're drinking?
every morning. Try to cut those out and see what happens. And then, yeah, and then, and things got better.
And so, and I'm more of a tea person. I like coffee, but I'm more of a tea.
Look at you. You're very refined, Chrissy. You're very refined. I like tea and I like coffee,
but the coffee does it. And people at the Starbucks are concerned for my health, even. They say,
this is a lot of coffee to be drinking, Brian. And I say, well, I don't drink the whole damn thing in one sitting.
Yeah. But even that, they, I mean, now I've got people.
Starbucks that are concerned for my health.
You're making money off me.
And they go, yeah, but this is a lot of coffee.
This is a lot.
You know, the Trenta is usually not broken out for a cold brew, which has got like twice
the caffeine of any of the coffee in it.
Yeah, but you're getting one every single morning and coming back for another one.
I say, no, no, no, I drink half of it now and half of it in the morning.
And this girl pointed out to me, she was like, the manager.
She's like, you know how math works, right?
Doesn't matter if you're drinking half now and half then.
you're drinking the other, you're drinking one full Trenta every single day.
And that's probably not healthy for you.
So when the people that you barely know.
But you're like, do you know I have 30 children?
Yeah, do you know?
Do you realize?
And also, I have to say, I've been really tired lately too.
And I think it's the time change.
It does make things like, I mean, I was so sleepy yesterday.
I was driving.
Yeah.
I was like, oh my God, I can bear it.
Because it's dark by five.
It's five.
It went from eight o'clock to five.
Five o'clock.
To five.
Yes.
I want my sunlight at the end of the day, not at the beginning of the day.
I am okay waking up in the dark.
That's okay with me because usually I don't wake up in the dark.
That's asterisk.
I know.
I think the teachers probably enjoy the morning light from what I've heard.
I have a teacher friend.
I think you would, I think you could make an argument that very few people like it getting dark at 4 p.m.
Because that's what's going to happen by the, you know, whatever the, I don't know.
Well, and if you're on central.
time. I was talking to a friend who's on central time, barely, too. She's like kind of on the line.
She's like an hour away from Nashville. Yeah. But she's more on the east. It gets dark at three.
Oh, we were talking and she said, yeah, four o'clock, the sun's down. I mean, completely. It's dark.
No, no, no. And, you know, like 21 states now have some bill that if the federal government
makes the decision to take away this damn time change, then we'll all just go to a standardized
clock that year round. But for some reason, the other states haven't gotten on board. What's your
fucking problem? Why? I don't understand. This is like the least controversial thing that Congress could do.
And since you're doing nothing else, except pretending you're going to release the Epstein files and
fucking everybody else in the process, why don't you just make this one change? Then we'll all feel
like you accomplished something. In spring, we're putting the clocks forward and we're going to leave them
there for the rest of eternity. That's it. Just do it. Why are you fucking complaining? Even Trump said he
would sign it if it came up to his office. But now, here's the question, because some people are
confused by this. The confusion is, are we going back or are we going forward when we stay to the
clock? We're going forward. That's what it is. There's no other option. I do not want it to be
dark at 6.30 p.m. on June 30th. I just don't. That's ridiculous. Why would we do that? Is there a June
30th? Is there even a June 30th? Yes, there's a June 30th, right? Yes, there's a June 30th. Yeah,
isn't there one of the months when it's the February's 28 days? Yeah, February's 28 days. Unless it's a leap year.
Yeah, and then you've got January 31. Uh-huh. Carry the one. February minus three.
Yeah, there are 30, 31 or 28. That's it. That right? I'm good about that. I'm good with calendars. I'm good with calendars. I'm
some month have 30. Some months have 30. I don't like those months. I'm against
those months. Well, that's June.
And November. And April.
November is a 30 month?
November. Yeah. November is?
No, I'm wrong about that. There's a November 31st.
Yes, I was like, we know.
Somebody remind us of what a calendar looks like. I've got them in my phone.
This is the problem with the fucking phones.
Wasn't there some way we learned it in school, like with the knuckles or 30 days, half
September, April. I don't know why I'm even sending my child to school anymore.
I really don't.
And I'll explain a little bit why.
There are only 30 days in November.
I told you.
I knew it in the first place.
Because it's almost like every other month.
This is why I'm wondering why I'm sending my children to school is because everything they could ever want to know is literally at their disposal.
The entire evolution of human history, everything that's ever been written is now in that chatty TCB.
And I don't know how to get anywhere anymore without a map.
I can't get to Starbucks without a map.
And I don't take any turns to get there.
That's how I turn out of my driveway and I'm there.
And then I don't know.
I've got to put the map on and I got to go.
I do the map just in case there's some kind of crazy wreck or there's something, whatever, even if I know the way to get there.
Atlanta is the most complicated city in the world to drive in.
And I say that in the world that I've been in is the most complicated city in the world to drive in because it makes no goddamn sense.
It never has and never will.
And I used to be able to drive drunk with one eye.
Don't drive drunk.
But I used to drive drunk with one eye closed.
And I could get anywhere you asked me to be taking any street you needed me to take.
I literally, it was, the map was embedded into my brain.
Well, just like phone numbers.
Just like phone numbers.
If I went to jail today, I'd call myself.
That's the RTCB.
I'd call our hotline.
2-1-2-433, 3-TCB.
Hey, it's me.
Leave a message.
And then I'd be like, hey, it's me.
I'm in jail.
I don't know.
I don't know anymore.
There's no asterons.
Yeah.
You know, just asteros.
Oh, hey guys in the comment section, I see you.
What does that say?
Let's see here.
Would you like many viewers?
Pay now.
Well, I thought we had comments.
No, there's, I'm sorry.
It's really hard to read this.
Somebody braw says best to you and best to you, my friend.
And then, all right, I got TCB live.
Very cool.
Hey, okay, cool, guys.
And they're probably texting that.
damn phone, which I just got to work this morning. And I got the phone broke, the 212, 433 phone broke.
And I fixed it. The problem got fixed. And I finally turned it on. And when I turned it on, it's like,
do-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. But then I locked myself out. Oh, God.
And I couldn't figure it out. That's a problem. I can't, unless my face opens it, I don't know the numbers.
I'm like, God damn. And why, Brian, did you put another password on that phone that doesn't
exist on your other. And who needs a password on the TCB phone? What are we going to do? Yeah,
who's coming in here to collect that information? Now, if you, if we were talking to Frankie,
he would say, you're cheating. Your cheating ass, your lion ass, your dumbass, your fat ass.
You got a code on there? God damn it, guys. What are you doing? Put a coat on your phone.
Yeah, I just don't understand, like, I don't understand existing without coffee, but I probably
shouldn't drink it because I have the same problem that Jeff does.
I do feel I'm getting a cent.
I get panicky sometimes.
Especially if there's like a lot of stuff to do, like figure out the code to the TCB phone.
Yes.
Then I start stressing out a little bit.
And does November have 30 days.
And does November have 30 days?
Well, no one ever asked me that question.
I just look at my calendar.
But I do that.
And then it does get me a little panicky sometimes.
But then I'm afraid I'm going to lose my morning routine.
If I don't drink coffee, if I don't spend $6,000 a year at Starbucks, what will I do with that extra $6,000?
God damn it
So I don't know
TBD I did stop drinking coffee for a period of time
After I met Astrid
I cut cold turkey
I got the caffeine headaches for like two weeks
And then it went away
And I had never felt better
I was running
I was exercising
And then I had kids
And my whole life devolved
Into dad bod and kid time
I like you know
I don't know if you're on my Instagram
I know you are
But I don't know if you out there
on my Instagram. But please follow me, you know, especially if you know Spanish, because that's apparently
what my Instagram has turned into a place where I just talk about Venezuela. Yeah, but I enjoy it.
It's another part of my life. And I have fun with it. It's a big part of your life. It is a big part of my life.
And so I said to the Venezuelans, I said, what's one thing that the gringos do that pisses you off?
And a lot of them said, eat dinner at 6 o'clock. And I'm like, well, I eat dinner at 6 o'clock.
But that's because I have fucking kids. Right. You have to do it. Yeah, that's it. I have to do it.
But when you drink caught when I... Well, you'll go back. You'll maybe get away from
when the kids are out of the house.
Maybe.
You'll go back to it just like my dad now eats at 5.30.
I am like, dad.
He calls me at 7.30.
He's like, hey, I'm like, I'm getting ready to eat.
You know, he's like, this late?
That's it.
My mom.
Yeah, at the cruise ship on land that my mom lives in, you know, like the retirement village over
there.
Yes.
They have dinner at 530 and they start making their way down there.
Like this.
Like 4.30.
Yeah, like a mass migration down to the big dining hall.
They start making their way down there at 4.30.
Well, the walkers and wheelchairs and all that takes a while.
But then they get there at five and they start complaining that, you know, things haven't
started yet.
And I'm like, you came down an hour early.
What do you?
Oh, that's another thing.
What are you on?
Yeah.
They're super early.
And I get it.
But, I mean, what is a normal time to eat?
I don't know anymore.
I think we used to eat at eight or nine.
I think we used to have dinner at eight or nine.
Yeah, Jeff and I got in that habit.
Yeah, too.
Usually around it at eight.
Eight, okay.
Eight feels like a good time to eat.
When we go to Spain, things, it doesn't matter that we have children, everything changes.
Snack at six o'clock.
Dinner is at nine o'clock.
On the early end, sometimes 10 o'clock.
And then you eat, and then you sit and then you have another fucking cup of coffee.
Yeah.
And then you sit and you talk, you digest, you know, smoke or smoke, whatever you do.
You know, that one cigarette that Europeans manage to control themselves and have a day where I need six packs.
Like I smoke one.
I need to smoke 10.
But that's what they do.
And then, you know, you go to sleep and you wake up and you rinse repeat.
I just don't know anymore.
My whole sense of timing is off with the children.
And then you add in this fucking time change.
I need the coffee.
Like this morning, I woke up.
I'm groggy.
We're up early.
We got to go to one of the kids' schools for an event.
You know, he did the Pledge of Allegiance.
I was really proud of him.
You know, I pledge allegiance to the flag that whole night.
You know, you remember as a kid.
But even that, I'm like, I'm like checking my phone.
I'm a pledge of allegiance to the flag.
But he did good.
And I was so proud of him.
I'm like, wow, you really got that licked.
You're very young and you got that lit.
I think I could recite it to you.
You'd be able to recite it.
Oh, yeah.
No, I could do it right now.
I just did it in my head.
So, yeah.
A pledge to the flag in the United States of America.
To the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God,
indivisible for liberty and justice for all.
Amen.
Holy shit.
Where's the title?
So we get, we get in the.
car, I'm groggy. I'm always a kind of, I can be groggy in the morning. It takes me a minute for my brain
to get up. The lawn guys are pulling in. Thank you for not coming while we're recording, but the
long guys are pulling in. And I have a couple of driveways. It's, I don't want to explain it to you.
It's a circular driveway. It's a semicircle driveway. And then there's a straight driveway. Yeah,
that goes down the house. So they're pulling in on the straight driveway. And I, under God,
oh, fun fact, under God was added later, says one of our commenters. And you're right. That's
true. So they're pulling in and I go to back out and I was just going to turn a little bit
moving backwards and then go around them in the grass, which everybody drives in my grass.
It's just one of those things. I don't have grass. It's not grass. It's some kind of industrial
weed that's never going to leave mixed with rocks and mud. Yeah. It's spread. Yeah, never
grows. It'll never grow up there. So I go to back out. I give it a little bit of gas, just a little bit.
Maybe I'm going two, three, four miles per hour backwards, turning the wheel. And then I
I go to stop because there's a, my other car is parked behind me. I go to stop. I'm wearing a boot
this morning and my boot gets stuck under my body's just not in, it's not fully greased. So it's
not working, nor is my mind. So my boot gets stuck under the brake and. Uh-oh. Boom. Right? And it
makes a sound and we all kind of jolt forward and my, and Astrid goes, and I'm like, I don't know.
Listen, I watched a video the other day.
of a taxi driver.
He's become very popular on Instagram
for his talking about driving.
And so he's saying,
I want to show you this video
because I want to show you
how being a passenger matters more than you think.
It's a husband and a wife.
There's a cam forward.
There's a cam at them.
You know, everyone's got cameras in their car now.
Yeah.
They're driving down the highway,
70 miles per hour,
and all of the sudden,
a van hits a box truck,
and the box truck starts spinning
in the middle of the highway.
And these people are imminently going to be in a terrible accident.
But the husband swerves just enough.
And by the grace of timing and God, he misses this terrible accident.
And the wife is like this.
But that's all she does.
And then after she goes, how the fuck did we not just die?
How the fuck did we not just die?
And the taxi driver who's commenting all this points out, you see how calm everybody was?
He was calm.
She was calm.
And it matters.
help because had she yelled and screamed, he may have reacted differently, right?
Think, you know, because you start going, what, what?
But she didn't do that.
And then he did that.
Well, I'm going three and a half miles per hour backward.
At your driveway.
Yes.
But then all the kids are like, Daddy, what happened?
Daddy, what happened?
Daddy, what happened?
And I'm like, shut it.
Shut it.
Not now.
Daddy.
I mean, I very rarely get upset with the kids.
I mean, I get upset with my kids.
Like, everybody gets upset.
But I try and keep my cool.
I've seen it.
I try to keep the patience.
If I react, they react, you know, it's kind of a mirror.
But this time I was like, shut it!
They were all like, oh.
Huh?
Yeah.
I don't know I'm serious.
Well, you do that, you remain calm.
So that way when you get, when it's really serious, when you need them to pay attention, then they do.
You can make that face and they pay attention.
And I think I scared the shit out of everybody right before they went on stage.
I was like, shut it.
Boom.
Yeah, boom.
Shut it.
Yeah.
But I get it.
You know, it's a joke.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't react.
I'm just saying that the reaction was, it was a lot.
Everybody in the car was like, ah.
And then I feel like an idiot because I just got embarrassed in front of my kids.
The lawn guys are laughing at me.
I can tell that Astrid's pissed.
And it's like, it was just an accident.
You know, no one's heard.
Everything's fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I mean, let's be real.
It's not like we own a fucking, you know, phantom or something.
I didn't get in an accident in the Labragini.
Well, I mean, after the cars that we drove,
when we were first friends.
Yes.
You had one with no headlight.
With no headlight.
I had one that was bashed along the side from a clip.
I took in a garage one time.
And I mean, at the time, we were just like, yeah, whatever.
What are you going to do?
Yeah, listen, you can't be precious about your cars.
Plus, there's an old adage.
The car you drive is a reflection of the person that you are.
And let's be honest.
I think it needs to be dinged up a little bit.
It's a little too clean.
That's not a reflection of who I am.
I am.
That pretty car is not a reflection of who I am.
And again, I'm not driving around an $80,000 car.
The car I hit is not an $80,000 car.
It's a thing.
It's a piece of plastic.
It's a vehicle.
Yeah.
And so I get out real quick.
Both of us get out real quick.
Astrid and I look and the car I'm driving, little scratch, tiny little scratch.
You wouldn't notice.
No one cares.
It's on the back bumper or whatever.
And then the other car, I don't see any damage.
So I'm like, I get in the car.
And then Astrid has to point out, she's like, the kids, you know, did you hurt the
other car? And I'm like, no, I don't think. Yes, yes, you did. Yes, you did. Thank you, baby.
I appreciate it. She's always there to, she's there to, keep it real. Yeah, to keep it real.
You know, you need that person that's going to call you out. And thank God for Astrid and you and Raphael and my mom and
my dad and all my brothers. It takes a village to call out all this bullshit. All right. So,
So the wicked, the wicked, the wickeds reviews.
Wicked for goods.
Reviews are in and they are not, I would say, stellar.
They're not stunning, right?
They are, it's about half and half from what I read.
I think it's got like a 69 on Metacritic.
It's got like a, I think it's like a 74 on Rotten Tomatoes from the actual critics.
And, you know, I think these girls are putting on an acting clinic and a singing clinic, quite frankly, in the first one.
I don't know about the second one.
I haven't seen it.
But I thought it was time that Chrissy and I, as Thesbians ourselves, share with the audience what it is like to be a Thesbian.
And there is no other actor or actress that I can think of.
It takes a village to raise an idiot.
Yes, it does.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
It takes an actor to know an actor or an actress.
And since Chrissy and I are there, we also have gotten our advice.
Masters of our craft.
The masters of our craft when it comes to acting, and we have gotten our advice from the best of the best. And what do I mean? I mean the 1992 VHS cassette, known as Mickey Rooney on acting. Now, 92% of our audience won't even know who the fuck Mickey Rooney is. He's an old actor. He's an old child actor that turned into a real actor. And he was in thousands of movies and television shows. The guy had an illustrious career. And he put out an acting clinic in 1992.
on VHS and the gods of the internet have blessed us by putting that VHS out on YouTube.
Many other people have already gotten their hands on this.
I meant to do this a couple months ago, but I thought it was, this is a good time to stream
and review on audio and on video, the Mickey Rooney VHS tape, Mickey on acting.
I can't wait to see these tips.
Okay, stay tuned.
We're going to take a short.
We'll be back in two and two.
I'm going to start saying that.
We'll be back in two and two.
And if you're streaming us at the commercial break on YouTube, we're also on Twitch and now on kick.
And yesterday we had some people from kick it.
Yeah, it's probably young people in their 20s going, see, this is what happens when you get old.
You turn into an unfunny idiot.
This is what old people do when they try and podcast.
I'm no Jack Dardy, all right?
I'm just not.
Dottie, whatever his name is.
That guy, did you hear about that kid, the streamer who got arrested with anphetamines and weed down in Miami?
It's a little shithead that runs around, this streamer.
No?
Okay, we'll do that a different day.
I'll show you some of his videos.
All right, let's take a short break, and when we get back, Mickey on Acting.
Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.
And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.
Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.
Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCB Podcast.com
and visiting the contact us page.
You can also find the entire commercial break library,
audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy,
at TCB Podcast.com.
Want your voice to be on an episode of the show?
Leave us a message at 212-4333-3-TCB.
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Why can't I hear this, though?
Oh, there we go.
Okay, we're back.
And thanks to regular schedule, dude, is on his lunch break right now, joining in the stream.
Yeah, again, if you want to join in the streaming fun and you're listening to this on the podcast version or you're watching the replay on YouTube, you can do that.
usually Tuesday, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, sometime between noon and three.
Our schedule changes a little bit.
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You can always go to YouTube, subscribe to the channel, and hit the notifications.
It'll notify you when we go live.
You can do the same thing on Twitch and the same thing on kick.
So we appreciate everybody that is joining in the fun.
And we won't be here next week.
We won't be here this week as you're listening to it on the podcast or next week if you're watching it on the stream.
The week of Thanksgiving.
We're gone the entire week.
so we will not be here.
But the following week, I have a software program now that may allow us to bring people into the stream on your own camera with your own microphone or headset or whatever.
So stay tuned because that I think is the direction I'd like this to head.
Me too.
We'd love to have people.
Yeah, we'd love to have people come on in and join and have fun.
So for right now, it's comment section.
But if we can, you know, keep it uncomplicated.
We need to keep it uncomplicated
Because I'm the guy who's driving into my own car
That's three feet behind me
Then there you go
All right, so here's
You know, in anticipation of wickets's for good
A lot of people have seen it
I saw one of our friends got like a special screening
That happened on Tuesday night
Some people are saying it's not as good as the first one
Or it's different than the first one
But you know
The first one was a lot to live up to
It's a lot to live up to
But anyway
It's eye hard fans are probably going to
Love it.
Let's give the girls in Wicked.
Let's give the whole cast in Wicked a little acting class here from one of the masters of acting.
His name is Mickerd, Mickey Rookickard.
Mickard.
Hey, Mickard.
Mickey Rooney.
And if you don't know who he is, you'll see him now.
Let me out of here.
I'm Mickey with Wilde of a Master's family.
I got to get out here.
I got to take the folks for a trip to Hollywood.
Let me out of here.
Wow, he went back to the black and white days.
Yeah, he's giving us a little class here on what he used to do.
If that kid was in...
As a child.
Yeah, that kid was in my house.
Have him outside of the house?
Yes, that's right.
Mickey, get some film for you.
Thanks, old man.
Okay.
Say, let's go take a look at it.
What do you say?
Say, let's go take a look at it.
What are you say?
This is like the beginning of the movie.
movies and television.
Yeah.
Okay, I want to fast forward to that.
I don't know if I necessarily want to watch this guy's movies here.
Oh, there you go.
Okay.
Here's Mickey.
Oh.
Yeah, here's Mickey.
This is his acting class.
Okay, okay.
This was just like the warm-up.
Master class.
Yeah, I guess they're showing you what kind of master actor Mickey Rooney really is as a three-year-old child.
Yeah.
You made me feel a little younger.
You made me feel younger.
I at least thought to be grateful for that.
You got to also remember that Mickey Rooney was like the king of like novelty appearances in 80s and 90s television shows.
He would show up and for some reason the executives thought that was a big deal.
Is that really going to boost your numbers?
I guess. Maybe he did. Maybe he moved the needle.
Did he like cameos?
Yeah, cameo, you know.
Oh, special guest star this week on NBC's heart to heart, Mickey Rooney.
Nothing like dressing wine color on wine color.
What hell they do it in Lulu Lemon these days, don't they?
It's Wine on Wine.
That's a wine on wine crime.
I think it was George Lucas's group that did the production.
The production here, yeah.
All the special effects.
The fake light comes in.
This is so old.
You know, acting, the word act, ACT, has been used every way, every day.
A long time.
I mean, you'll hear some people say, she acts like she doesn't know what she's doing.
Somebody will turn around and say, hey, he acts like he doesn't feel well.
Somebody says, you know what?
You know what?
Mickey, can you pull your pants up a little bit?
I mean, they're real high.
Holy shit.
He's got a Humpty Dumpty.
Yeah, for those that are listening, he's got, yeah, he's full Humpty Dumpty Bod, and I think he's always been that way, quite frankly, but not to make fun of his body style.
No, which is fine, but he might want to dress. I think there's ways you could dress and not that way.
Humpty Dumpty is the direction I'm going in. I think that's going to be my body style at 70 years old. But he's got his sweatpants really pulled up to his nipples. It's a lot.
They act like they're nice people to know. So the word act, ACT, is utilized every day and nobody is really good.
cognizant of the fact that they're utilizing a very, very important word.
I have dissected it at ACT and called it associated creative thinking.
Oh, wow.
Look at you.
That's a little Gary Busey-ish there, but okay.
Remember Gary used to take all the words and break them up and make them into different, you know, analogs and anorisms and yeah.
Thinking creatively.
associated creative thinking.
You know, the bard was correct.
Shakespeare, when he said we all...
I'm already asleep if I'm in this class.
I'm already like...
Where's my Trento Cold Brew?
All are actors, and we have our entrances and our exits,
and in our lifetime, we will all play many parts.
And thus it is.
So somebody says, well, how do you act like a cabbishop?
And thus it is.
Well, how do you act like a cab driver?
How do you act like a cab driver?
Is that what he just said?
Yeah.
Whoever was driving around today near us is acting like a cab driver.
And the bus driver is acting like a bus driver.
And if they're having an operation at a nearby hospital, the surgeon is acting.
Was this filmed in a closet?
Was this filmed in a closet?
That's my question.
It does look closetish.
Yeah.
Is this what you do when you're like one of the.
world's most renowned actors of your time, your generation.
He did.
Yeah.
At 82 years old, they put you in a closet and they say, hey, can you help?
We're going to film this.
And thus it is.
He did say that.
Someone just pointed out that Andy goes, and thus it is.
You are having an operation.
I am acting like your surgeon.
It sounds almost too simple.
But that's what acting is.
is simple.
And I'm going to explain and tell you
how you get to this wonderful,
delightful, and enjoyable
simplicity.
And I want to ask you all...
Lean with the belly, Mickey.
Well, that girl looks, she's looking down.
I know.
She's like, he's going to assault me
before this day is over. He's going to give me a
side hug and reach around my waist. I know it.
Question, when were you the best
actor, actress in your life?
When were you all the best?
I just want us to, by the way, when they're doing these crowd shots, let's scan the crowd and see if we know any notable faces that showed up on Mickey on acting.
Actor and actors in your life.
Does anyone know?
So far, I don't recognize anybody.
No, that's not Demi Moore there.
Anyone out there in the audience?
No, nobody knows.
I'll tell you, when you were a child.
Huh?
You played games?
You played games?
You played good guys, bad guys.
You played cowboys.
like you even fought over the roles.
Oh, come on, you guys, you played the good guy last time.
Let me play the good guy this time.
You know what I mean?
And you had to improvise your own dialogue.
I'm having a hard time on believing if this is a VHS tape from Mickey Rooney
or a live press conference from our president.
You didn't have a script.
I mean, if you were playing, let's say, Robin.
hood and you had a sword that was pounded together with two sticks and you had a garbage can over here to be your
your shield and you were defending lady guennaver and that's so on so who's guennaver you could see it in
your mind you had no wardrobe you had no clothes on let's all get naked yeah let's strip it down to
it's bare essentials who wants to see my belly you had nothing but your own
creative incentive.
Oh, incidentally, as a child,
you had your love games too.
Oh, here we go.
Love games.
Love games.
You had marriage.
You had marriage.
You had hide the pickle.
And then you had,
Are you growing like I am?
And then you had,
show me yours and I'll show you mine.
Let's play a round of show me yours
and I'll show you mine.
I'm Mickey Rooney on acting.
Did you ever play the game of marriage
when you were a little toddler?
Let's play marriage.
That girl goes, this is about to get weird.
My mom warned me.
She told me to call her.
Don't get into acting.
They don't even have cell phones yet.
I remember that game.
And your performances were magnificent because you were being creative all the time.
And then what happened?
I started to pick my nose and the whole place went bonkers.
and everyone does stop at exactly the same, the very same time.
Puberty.
Yep, that's what I was thinking to do.
This is weird.
Oh, I knew this is going to be good.
You all stopped when you noticed.
You had hair down there.
That someone was looking at you.
You became frightened that people might call you silly.
childish
and fear set into you
they're looking at me
which now detonates a certain amount
of what they call today stage fright
of which there is no such thing
all professional actors and actresses today
all they are
is grown-up children
his stance
I know
it was his whole body
He's like one big roly pole.
I know.
He's got the world's biggest belly.
I mean, it's amazing that a human can look like that.
But, you know, and listen, I'm not knocking the body type.
I'm just...
No, but again, like, I think he might choose different clothes.
Yeah, you don't choose the sweatpants above the belly button.
Talked in.
Yeah, you don't go red on red.
Yeah, you don't tuck it.
You don't tuck anything in.
No.
At this point, you go full.
Chloe, Tommy Bahama.
Chloe, Camono.
Do what every other guy with the big belly.
That's right.
Marlon.
Brando. Wear a wayabera,
like a Cuban shirt.
Can you see what I'm getting it?
She's trying not to laugh.
She's like, I don't want to make eye contact with you.
And the grown-up children that are actors, and professionally so today, are children
making believe.
That's all in it.
Making believe and getting paid darn well for it.
Only if you're really in the top echelon.
Yeah. That's right. Well, I mean, you got to understand when Mickey started in the business probably got paid like $10 a day.
Well, I was going to say two cents an hour. Yeah, there was no movie business. Two bits. That's what you got paid. It's like podcasters early on. We're getting paid, you know, nothing. Well, we don't get paid anything because no one watches us. But hey, thanks for streaming.
Well, I was an actor all through, you know, when I was a kid, I was an outgoing kid.
I was a loud child.
And my parents just thought, hey, you know.
Then I got in a horrible football-related accident.
Maybe we can put this to use.
And, no, they, you know, urged me to try out for a...
That one guy in the back doesn't look like a kid.
No, he's not a kid.
He's in the shadowing his back there with a bit.
There's a great place to pick up hot chicks.
Can I sit behind you?
Do you mind if I sit behind you?
And I got a very small part, but I fell in love with it right from then.
And then that's when Mickey walked in.
And Mickey was in the audience.
And he said, I love to show up to children's plays.
Why don't you come to Mickey on acting?
It's my brand new series.
I think ABC is going to put it out overnight.
And from then on, I decided that's what I want to do.
It's what I have to do with my face.
What's wrong with that guy's face?
He's kind of got weird affectations.
It was 8 to 10.
I wanted to be a truck driver.
And then I started acting at the junior high where I went to school.
And ever since then, that's pretty much what I've wanted to do.
It's fun to get up on stage and play around.
Being in front of an audience this time because a truck driver.
Did she want to be like an 18-wheeler?
Yeah.
What kid doesn't want to be an 18-wheel truck driver?
Actually, I liked, when I was a kid, I thought that was cool.
Like, oh, cool, you get to drive around.
Get to sleep in the cab.
It's really...
Then I got in a horrible truck-related accident.
Idiot.
It's right there.
Now, I'm going to give you one of the biggest secrets in the world.
Oh.
And becoming...
Clown.
You should wear it.
Drives the ladies crazy.
Velvet high-wasted pants.
Velvet high-wasted pants.
I'm going to tell you where to buy them, big and tall.
Large and small.
All right, let's do this.
Let's take a short break and then when we get back, we'll continue with Mickey on acting.
I know you're riveted.
Stay tuned.
I keep saying Mickey on Ice.
Mickey on Acting.
Mickey on Ice.
Mickey on Ice.
Let me do something Brian has never done.
Be brief.
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See, Brian?
That really wasn't that difficult.
Now, was it?
You're welcome.
Oh, there we are.
Hi.
Hi.
Welcome back.
We're back.
An actor or an actress.
It is simply accepting...
So I just want to point out there.
One of the people that's watching our show right now, live on the streams, says I had no idea about Mickey Rooney.
So this is now going to be my forever impression of him.
And I got to tell you, I've seen a lot of Mickey Rooney because I was a kid of the 80s and a kid of the 90s.
And my parents, of course, I don't know.
Mickey Rooney was a thing.
It just was a thing.
He was around.
My grandparents liked him, you know, whatever.
This is the exact same impression I got, too.
There is no difference between the impression when he was younger when he's old.
This is kind of how he is all the time.
your own individuality
and your sexuality.
That was the secret.
Do you know how important you are?
Do you know who you are?
What if your first name?
Rob.
Rob what?
Maloy.
There's just like five people in there.
It seems like he should know his students.
Yeah.
You would think you'd get a little pre-
Who are you?
Like a little pre-introduction.
Like, hey, guys, we're going to make this
together.
I'm going to sell it on VHS.
We're all going to make a million bucks.
I wonder how many of these copies sold.
Probably a few, I would imagine.
Maybe.
This is production gold.
I mean, they spent a lot of money on this.
They got to get their money back.
My name's Rob Malloy.
That's right.
Now, nobody else here is named Robb Malloy.
There's your...
Oh, Mickey.
I'm Rob Malloy also.
They mailed all of us as the invitation, only to Rob Malloy's.
You want Rob Malloy
And I'm Mickey Rooney
And if I walk out and I say
Hi everybody, good evening
My name is Mickey Rooney
There's nothing
Negatistical about that
That's what I've done for 70 years
I've known around the world
As a roly-poly old man
God has let me
Be in a business that I adore and love
And grow up as a child
I didn't grow too far though
I guess they kept me underneath the refrigerator
But let me repeat it again
No that's not a joke
Literally my parents kept me under the refrigerator
They should not be showing that back side
Yeah look at that
Wedgy
Of his pants
Yeah well listen when you get that old
I don't think you can feel back there anymore
It just that all feeling goes away
In your lower butt area
Secret to becoming a great actor or actress
Yes
Tell us Mickey
was what?
He's already told us three of the secrets that are the secret.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Knowing your own individuality.
No.
The word is, you're close, Angel.
Erica?
Mm-hmm.
What's your name again?
Rob Malloy!
Accepting your own individuality.
See, that's different.
That's two different words.
One is knowing and the other is accepting.
Do you know that a lot of people,
It's the toughest thing in the world for them to accept their own individuality.
Who they are.
When that is the most important thing in the world.
Why are you yelling at us?
I know.
He's just totally getting into it.
Like thumbprints, no two are the same ever.
And you've got to be proud of that.
What's your last name, Erica?
Brandon.
Let me hear you.
he just goes, what if he just goes, cut, line, whiskey, freshen up on the tush? Can I get a
pant pulled down over here? Landon. What is your full name? Erica Michelle Landon.
No, but I don't want you to say Erica Michelle Land. I want you to remember we're playing a game
like kids. What is your name? My name is Erica Michelle Landon. That's the way to say it. People want to
know who you are. You say, I'm Erica, Michelle Lend. How do you do? What's your name again? You're at a bar.
Some hot girl comes up and she's like, hey, how are you? Good. What's your name? Brian Green.
And I'm accepting my own individuality. Now, I want to ask a question because it often kind of
stumps me. Why would you? What do you sleep in? What color is your underwear?
laugh at that
because you're not used to accepting
your own individuality
good point taken
teachers pet
I know
you understand thoroughly what I mean
and what I've talked about here
about accepting
who you are
and you know when you go for
an interview what's the first
thing you think of
fear
there's five other guys going
And you get scared.
The idea of going into an interview is to walk into the interviewer, whoever he is or she.
I mean, I have to say I like his positivity of accepting who you are.
Listen.
You unique and individual.
Nothing that Mickey is saying right now is negative.
His delivery is outrageous.
First of all, and I'd like to point out that while you're talking about a job interview, Mickey, you have never been to one.
Right.
You have never had a job.
You've been working since you were three years.
years old. And say, hello, how are you? My name is so-and-so. Well, you're lucky to have the right guy
here because I'm the one to do the part. Well, they never heard anybody talk like that.
I know four or five youngsters such as yourself who... One of them's named Donnie Trump. He's a real
up-and-comer. You're going to meet him soon. Things because they have that attitude.
It isn't a fresh attitude to have self-confidence.
Yeah.
Hey Jim, hey, how you doing?
I'm all right.
How are things going?
Still living in my car.
You got that Cassio in 3,000?
Yeah, I got a job for you.
You do?
Yeah, scoring Mickey Rooney on acting.
Well, it's a job.
Let's go do it.
When I was little, we lived in San Diego, and we lived in a cul-de-sac.
So me and my sister and our friend from across the cul-de-sac would play Batman or Nancy Drew in the Hardy Boys.
Or Gilligan's Island was a big one, too.
And it just kind of carried over when I was in school.
I did the little school plays.
And then in high school, it was bigger plays.
And then finally at S.E., it was bigger plays.
And then you came to my high school play, and here I am, Mickey.
And I don't imagine there are huge plays.
By the way, this guy looks like he's 42.
He's probably 17.
True.
Yeah.
It's 1980.
He's probably 17.
But, you know, the scale will go up, I would imagine.
I've always wanted to be a performer for as long as I can remember.
But I can't imagine doing anything else, but being on the stage.
Oh, Erica, let's fast forward to 2025.
Your only fan's page is waiting.
And performing for people.
I got into acting probably when I was really young
because my family was always, my family was in the entertainment.
Oh, Brad, let's fast forward to 2025.
Your only fan's page is waiting.
And I kind of just fell into it.
And I started off with Tom Sawyer in sixth grade,
and I had this one line when I was in nursery school.
which everyone always remembers that line and um i don't know i just i the only other thing i'd ever
want to do besides acting which is kind of like this long-term thing is like be the president
and it's you know it's a little far-fetched and uh let's fast forward to 2025 your presidency is waiting
for you but i figure you know reagan got to be the president and he acts so i i really i mean i love
acting. Just to be someone
that I'm not as a challenge.
It's like you meet different people when you act.
You know, you can be anyone.
Now, there are schools
of acting.
And I'm not, please believe me,
I'm not knocking anybody.
But the rest of them are shit.
God forbid, I would never
do that. But there's schools you've heard
about where they say, we want you to be a chair.
You're a, um,
Now you're a desk.
Now I'll play like you're a lamp pole.
Sure, you're laughing.
You know why?
Because it's all stupid.
But I'm not knocking it.
But I'm not knocking it.
God forbid.
God forbid I do any knocking of the other schools of thought or acting.
All I want you to do is to be you.
Did you hear me?
You can hear cars driving in the background.
They couldn't even afford an act.
studio. He's in a closet, in his house. He might be like in a storage unit. But I'm Roy Mallory.
Nothing fearful about you being you. And you're going to make it. You're going to be as big
as you want to be. And the only one is going to, the only one that's going to stop you from getting
and gaining your goal is yourself. Drop in nuggets of wisdom. Truth bombs all over the place.
The only one that's ever going to stop you is you.
By the way, Chrissy and I have yet to identify anyone in this crowd who went on to do anything notable, anything I've seen.
But, you know, again, this is not like I was probably a kid when this came out, so I don't know.
I'm too simple.
Huh?
Should it be harder?
I'm not trying to be facetious with you now.
Can you see how easy it?
I wonder what the hair and makeup budget was on the set here.
It was loud.
They could have given him a little trim of, don't you?
think. It's a little fluffy.
He looks like the powder puff guy on top.
To become professional, but you must also, in accepting your own individuality, act professionally.
Read professionally.
You know, a lot of us, when we get out of high school or college or this and that and so, it's so tough to read a book.
I've got time to read a book.
read good, good novels.
Read.
This guy,
this guy commented,
he's not teaching, he's acting in his own acting video.
And you couldn't be more correct about that.
But I have a feeling that this is just Mickey's natural state of being.
I don't think, I don't think Mickey walks through life like this.
I obviously don't know Mickey.
I don't know anybody who knows Mickey.
They're all dead, but I do.
have to say. This is kind of how Mickey has always been. He even acts like this in movies and
television. Possible that you can read at least one book. Now, this is not asking too much.
Read one book every two months. That'll be six books a year because you want this to be
fertile all the time. 70 years and I still don't know it all. I do you never know at all.
You have fun with it, but no one knows it all.
Anytime you hear somebody that says, I know it all, be the first one to say.
He just stuck his finger directly in his ear and then shook this girl's hands.
It's probably like, oh, lovely.
Thanks for that.
Nice to have met you.
See you later.
Nobody knows it all.
But the one thing I do know is to how to convey to you how to have fun and dissipate
the fear that goes along with, I wonder if I can do it.
What does that have to do with reading books, Mickey?
You just told them.
I don't know.
This is the most disconnected.
Also, too, he probably, you know, he grew up acting.
And so then whenever he would go to auditions or things, if he had to audition, he had his name recognition already.
Yeah.
This guy was famous right from the gift.
Yeah.
I mean, he was literally one of the original OG, you know, three-year-olds that was on set doing movies.
when like the talking movies had just come out.
We're talking like the 30s, I think.
The talkies.
That's right, the talkies.
And there wasn't even color when this guy was doing major motion pictures.
So he's a legend in his own right.
But, you know, this is kind of sad to me because this reminds me that at some point, we're all just going to be old fuddy dutty's trying to make ourselves relevant again.
Some of us might already be old fuddy duttys just trying to make ourselves relevant at any time, period, end of sentence.
But, you know.
I vow not to wear those pants.
Don't wear red Santa pants to a professional acting class.
No.
Don't do it.
All right.
I promise myself we wouldn't do another hour in 65.
I know.
We've been getting crazy.
We have.
We've been going very long.
And I know that some people, like some of our friends on the streaming chat right now,
I've got to get back to work.
But Chrissy and I will come back in a few minutes if you're streaming.
You know, we'll close out this one.
We'll open up another one.
If you'd like to join our stream at the commercial break or slash the commercial break on YouTube, subscribe at the notifications.
And you will get notified every time we go live.
We're off on the week of Thanksgiving.
But happy Thanksgiving, if you're listening to this on Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving.
And we'll still put out shows on the audio.
Yeah, yeah, you'll still hear shows and all that other stuff.
We're just trying something new.
After five years, we decided to try something new.
Shake it up a little bit.
Give it the old Jocelyn.
Yeah.
So thanks.
We're on kick and Twitch, too.
So any of those places, you can watch us live.
You can download the apps.
You can take us with you.
You can watch at work.
You can watch in the car.
Don't watch in the car.
You can listen in the car.
Don't watch in the car.
You end up backing into your own car like Brian did this morning.
Oh, well.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
Do us a favor.
Share with a friend.
That's always a good thing that you can do to help the show out here.
Share the show with a friend.
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No, I'm kidding.
I'd like to say a special thanks to Joanna Hausman, our guest last week.
Zoltan.
All our guests recently have been great.
So thanks very much.
Joanna, of course, always a fan favorite.
I say always she's been on twice, but both times she seems to be a fan favorite.
So thanks. You can go listen to those episodes, links in the show notes, all that good stuff.
Go follow them. Make sure you're checking out our guests. They don't come here for their health.
They come here to promote stuff. So if you could, go check it out.
212-4333-T-CB. 212-433-3822. Our phone is now working. I will get back to you. Thank you so much.
questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, and TCBpodcast.com.
All the audio, all the video, more information about Chrissy and your free sticker.
Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.
I think so.
I'll tell you that I love you.
I love you.
Best to you.
Best to you out there in the podcast of streaming universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say.
Goodbye.
