The Commercial Break - A Wine "D"Canter

Episode Date: December 1, 2020

Bryan and Hoadley discuss "the laughing plague" of 1518, Bryan explains his D-pick history to Hoadley and The Soy Sauce Balls Tasting Challenge... Hand on to your pantalones..this one is a doozy! Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO ([phone]) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Facebook Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mr. Dorfman. Hello. 0.2. Fat drunken stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta House, 1.6, 4 Cs in an F, a fine example you set. Daniel Simpson Day has no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu...

Mr. Blutaski. Zero point. Zero. Hello. Is it zero? Hello! Coming up on this episode of The Commercial Break. Because you know I am? I'm Brian Green! Vice President of Miss Taren in fourth grade class! I demand an extra choco taco!

Did you call that a play to French fries? That's not a play to French fries. I'm gonna break your knuckles. Let's just say the rainbow gathering is what it's called. The rainbow gathering. So they get together every year. For years and years and years, it got together. There's thousands of deadheads that go on the woods but they don't party for a day

or a weekend or a week the party for months this goes on for a fucking month a rainbow I can't believe you've never been to a rainbow gathering. No, I have other things to do inside. What do you have to do? Hold on, you gotta block off a month. Just storm a national bar Listen take some while they get their shit together talk it's saying take some while they get their shit together They show up they got it you know they got to organize Right, okay, we're gonna shit over to the left. We're gonna pee over to the right. How's that sound?

We'll take a vote on it in a a couple of hours, I gotta go chill out and think about this. I feel like when you get a bottle of wine and you're gonna detain to it, you just ask if it's a cagey portal. Your balls. You mind pouring that over my ball. No, it's good.

Let that breathe a little bit. Let that breed a little bit. A little bit. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da I love that guy's voice. Yeah, I think I paid his rent last month Well, I need we needed new bumper, you know, I like this guy. I like his voice, but I like the old guy too Mm-hmm. I felt kind of partial to the old guy, but I like the new guy Yeah, so I don't know I don't know what to do There's actually been some people who have who have mentioned that maybe the old guy needs to come back I think so do you think so? I really like to know I feel like I'm offending the new guy Maybe he can do something else for us.

Maybe we can find a job for him. Maybe we can find a job for him. That's just business. We can do the bumpers on my brand new podcast. Brian, a podcast. I'm just see if I can get some, you know, it's like the guys who are in the band. It's like Mick Jagger, Eddie Vetter, whoever. You know they gotta go off and they gotta do their solo projects,

kind of scratch that itch a little bit. Yeah. I feel like I need to do a second. Like you should do a second podcast, and I should do a second podcast. So that, and then we can come up in the band. You want me to go? I don't even know, we're talking,

we have barely had time to do this podcast. No. That's not how to say. We're sitting here making big plans for the future. We're like in January, two episodes, one live show. We're gonna take a tour around the country. Switch. We're going on Twitch.

We're going on YouTube. We're gonna get on Instagram live. We're gonna be in newspapers, magazines. I'm gonna carry your pigeon to show over to Russia. Rob is gonna write down the article about us. Rob, the podcast magazine came out today. It's so exciting. It's so exciting.

Podcastmagazine.com is where you can go to get a subscription to podcast magazine, which sounds obvious right now, but we have a nice four-page spread in the podcast magazine. And then another couple of Atlanta natives are right behind us in page order behind us. And that's Ashley Hezultine with her girls got to eat podcasts, which I've listened to and is very funny.

We have some mutual friends, Alison, Alison, risk hair. So go to podcastmagazine.com. You could vote for us on the hot 50 if you choose to do it. I did, we didn't make it in December. So I guess that means our votes are going to our January. Maybe we didn't make the cutoff or something like that, or maybe just no one voted for us.

Probably. I voted for us. Do you think they count my vote? As it says, it says, I forgot. It says, which podcast would you like to vote for? It says, commercial break. And then it says, who's the host?

And I put Brian Green and Chrissy Haldi in the right below. It says, what's your name? Brian Green and Chrissy Haldi. But it's got a count, right? I'm even a presidential candidate is gonna vote for himself. It's just, that's like rule number one. I ran for like school, I don't know what it was.

Vice president, secretary, I mean, I didn't even know I did it. Clearly I was not cut out for any joke and you kind of responsible in it. One of friends that you should do it, and then you did it. Well, I felt like it would be good. It would raise my profile in the social ladder

at the Our Lady of the Assumption School with 16 people in it, right? And I felt like I was gonna climb the social ladder by being vice president of our class in third fucking grade or fourth grade or whatever it was. So I made the cards and cut out the things and vote for Brian and the whole nine glass. I had closed your guard.

Probably not, I'm not ex. I remember helping some friends doing that. Yeah, you didn't run yourself. I don't remember myself. I don't know why, but I feel like in school, you would have been the girl who would have run for class president. And I was part of the school spirit.

You were? I had zero school spirit. I really didn't give a shit. I just felt like it would be cool. I think in my brain, I felt like there was some power associated with vice, you know, school vice president or class vice president that meant I could do something. Like give away free lunches extra choco tacos at the end of the night or whatever. I don't know who I am.

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm Brian Green By vice president of Miss Terran in fourth grade class I demand an extra chaco taco You call that a plate of french fries lunch lady. That's not a plate of French. I've been a break your knuckles I felt like I would have been a gangster. I'm gonna smash those fat lunch lady fingers right in you know really who if you don't give me some well fucking french fries. Get on it. My dad says I run for class vice president or whatever it is. My dad says like one of the few motivational speeches my father gave me. He says Brian just remember always vote for yourself. Yeah. always vote for yourself because you never know

You could be the one vote that makes the determination because I felt bad about why would you vote for someone else? I felt bad about voting for myself and there was only two of us in the running I mean only two of us actually got motivated enough to you know do a little Hershey kisses or whatever it was I lost I did not win and I did not vote for myself, but I'm always left to wonder. It probably was that one vote. I know because there's only 16 kids in the class. So I mean, I never want any of that. I think in high school I try to get in to be like, you know, secretary of the band or

something. I think I conceded halfway through the election. I got on the map. Never mind. Yeah, never mind. It's cool. Don't worry about election. I got on the paper. Never mind. Never mind. It's cool. Don't worry about it. I'm probably going to lose anyway.

I was reading this article in Buzzfeed thinking about our situation here in the pandemic. In 1518, Straussburg, Germany, was hit by a plague or what they're calling a plague. And that plague was the dancing, they called it the dancing plague. You told me it was 1915 earlier 1915. What's that you think we would have known about that? 1519 1518 1518 I was drilling It wasn't even oil back then I was drilling for candle wax 1518 the dancing plate came around Straussburg Germany. Huh

1518, the dancing plate came around Stralsberg, Germany. What happened was that doctors and psychiatrists and psychologists or whatever were around in 15 fucking 18, they all were trying to diagnose these people, hundreds of them, who would just get in the streets day after day, night after night and they would dance. They would dance themselves silly. They would dance until they died.

Had heart attacks, strokes, became unconscious. It was a real plague. And they couldn't figure it out. They couldn't figure out why people were dancing. I mean, I don't even know what music was around in 50. It's like a sitar. Right. Or one of those like colliopies. What is it? You're like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Definitely drums were around. Yeah, drums were around at the beginning. I feel like drums are the first. That's the first instrument. Yeah But I was reading this and at first I was a little bit I was like wow

What in the fuck really happened? It's a drugs did they eat getting some kind of hallucinatory mushrooms or food Was their bad bread did they drink you know beer that went stale or something and just had some kind of effect on them? But then I was thinking to myself. I've actually been to parties where I think that the dancing like happened. I think I have seen people die in the dance floor. It's called a widespread panicked show. Right or rave. The electric ballroom, docks, bills, and a seat. The family reunion. What do they call that? What's the big grateful dead thing? The rainbow, the rainbow retreat, or whatever it is?

You know anything about this? No. You don't know anything about the rainbow. Okay. Do it, tell. Every year, the dead heads, they get together. They like storm a, some kind of national park, right? And Yosemite, whatever it is.

They storm it, they get a permit for, you know, like 60 people camping and then thousands of them. You're not storming if you get a permit. If you get a permit for 60 people and you show up with 6,000. Actually, I don't think a deadhead has ever been accused of storming anything. Hey man, you know where the ride is

because I don't know, I forgot. I was right behind him one minute, then the net, I just did a little dad dab, and then the next minute, I don't know, I forgot. I was right behind him one minute, I just did a little dad dab, and then the next minute, I don't know, it was gone. Can you point me in the direction of the right, the hoot and nanny? That's storm. It's like a bunch of people running around with guns

and knives and shooting people. Do you know where they went? The simmity, that's where they went. Okay. But so the rainbow gathering is what it's called. The rainbow gathering. So they get together every year, for years and years and years years and years have gotten together and there's thousands of deadheads They go on the woods, but they don't party for a day or a weekend or a week the party for a month

Oh, it goes on for a fucking month a rainbow. I can't believe you've never been to a rainbow gathering No, I have other things to do inside Hold on you got a block off a month to storm a national park. Listen, take some while they get their shit together. It's all gotta say. Take some of the while they get their shit together. They show off. They got to, you know, they got to organize. Right. Okay, we're going to shit over to the left. We're going to pee over to the right. That's that sound. We'll take a vote on it in a couple of hours.

I got to go, I got to go chill out and think about this way. The rainbow gathering. Okay. Maybe next year, we can do a show live from the rainbow gathering. That's awesome. The rainbow gathering.

Well, we have a month to figure it out. So I figured that's what it is. Uh, www.tcbpodcast. You know, we're going to a it out. So I figured that's what it is. www.tcvpodcast. You know, we're going to a rainbow gathering. Now, I feel like we know people who have been to a rainbow gathering. We surely do. Surely. tcvpodcast.com is where you go. You can read all the show notes.

You can find out more about Chrissy and I and you can watch us live on YouTube. All of those videos are up on our page or there's a link to the, they're on our page and then there's a link to the YouTube. You can join the break room. What is the break room? The break room, you get exclusive access to the after show, which is a show that Chrissy and I do after every one of these shows.

And you're gonna find out more information about what's coming up in the future. In January, actually, Chrissy and I just had a big, we have big breakups. What do you think about Tuesday? I don't know. Probably sick on Tuesday. How do you think about Tuesday? I don't know. Probably sick on Tuesday. How do you feel about Wednesday?

Can I get back to you? I was basically at a grocery store. Don't worry, we're only giving it a 45 minutes of coronavirus. So here's the story, I'll tell it. Okay, all right, I'm going to make fun of myself. Chrissy wakes up this morning and she says, I'm not feeling 100%. I feel like I don't know, allergies or something.

Is it okay? I had this pressure, this sinus pressure. Me too. It's been going on. Me too. A little bit of headache. And with COVID, it's so vague, you know, they're like, if you've got a headache, you could have it.

Yeah. If you have body aches, you're like, if your eyes twitching. Right. You're losing eyebrow hair. Yeah, anything, you could have it. And so of course, and I feel like a lot of people have this problem too, where you're not feeling 100% and you're like, shit, I might have COVID.

Any ailment is a reason to directly connect it to COVID right now because no one really knows what COVID does. It's like you have a million, there's a million symptoms. Some people don't feel anything and have it. Spread it around. That's what she said. Fire all loading it all around the play. That's what she said.

So Chrissy texts me politely in the morning and says, hey, listen, here's the deal. And I think that we might want to do this remotely. Remote is a different set up here at the studio and you know how long this took us six months to figure out how to do this. So I said, listen, totally understand I got the same funk going on. And I think it's, we think it's just allergies, right?

We're both testing on a frequent, frequently. And it was 70 degrees two days ago, and now it's 20. 20 tonight. It's freezing. I just looked at my weather, it said snow, and North Georgia. Snow here? Yeah, and North Georgia. Okay.

But in North Georgia, like north of us. Yes. Okay, just checking. I was hoping for a snow day tomorrow. A snow day really means just the same thing I've been doing every other like north of us. Okay, just checking. I was hoping for a snow day tomorrow. A snow day really means just the same thing I've been doing every other fucking day of 2020. So Chrissy says this and I reply back. I just woken up and I reply back.

And because in my brain, I'm like, oh, we really should record together because it'll be hard for me to adjust this or recording this on Monday night for a midnight release. And I say, hey, Chrissy, listen, totally understand, why don't we do this? Why don't you just come over and run in 40 for 45 minutes? What did you just run in real quick? Why did you just run in for 45 minutes or quick? And we can record. And that way you won't get the virus.

Right now, you're asking for the buy. I had so many things to write back. I want to be like, first of all, I don't think time matters. I think it's just exciting. I don't think coronavirus has any. And then as well, it's not just a quick run in for 40 minutes.

It takes me 40 minutes to get here. Then there's an hour and a half here, then it's 40 minutes back. So yeah, I was finally like, I'll just come, I'll talk about it. It was a stupid comment.. Okay, it was a stupid comment. I agree. Okay, it was a stupid comment. I was just I was I was worried about the prospect of having to set all this shit up again in a different way. So I'm sorry. And thank you for coming. And I'm glad that you feel better. I hope you don't get covered. I hope I don't have it. I don't

have it right now. And I'm passing it to you. Let's switch microphones and we'll see. Let's just play microphones. That'll make me say that. Keep things sanitary. Yeah, so anyway, TCB Podcasts, join the break room. Chrissy and I in the new year are going to be doing two shows and a live show every single month.

And you can get access to that more information about that as we round the corner, as we round the new year at tcbpodcast.com, at the commercial break on the socials and write us an the new year at tcbpodcast.com, at the commercial break, on the socials and write us an email, infoattcbpodcast.com, coming up in the new year, we're gonna do a segment where we answer your questions, because we are internet experts in over, we have, between the two of us,

of kind of 22 degrees, and you name it, we've got it. There's a lot of stuff that we know nothing about. There's a lot of stuff that we know nothing about. Certifications, that's right. Certifications. There's a like associate degrees. Only I'm more of a smart ass about it. They're like associate degrees. Only I know less about it.

100%. Kristen Cavillieri. I want to talk to you about this because yeah, I don't mean to switch objects real quick. But Kristen Cavillieri is a girl who was on a show called Laguna Beach. Oh, I remember that well. I was a hit. How could you not be taken by Laguna?

I mean, I don't even think that I, clearly I was not, it's Target marketing. I don't think so. When did that come out? God, I've seen 2002, like 99, 2000, 2000. Yeah, I don't know if it was time. I think it was, I feel like. I was saying 2002, like 99, 2000, 2000, 2001. Yeah, isn't that the time? I think it was, I feel like I remember watching that around the time of the 9-11 or something.

Yeah, early 2000s, yeah. So I'm, I'm in my 20s. Go ahead. Yeah, well, I was gonna say it was revolutionary really for the time because they made it, it was a reality, quote unquote, reality show. But it looked at movie. But it looked like it was just well

And then it had the scene of the background of Laguna Beach, which is gorgeous And it was these high beautiful high school kids Rich yeah, and just they made it that they threw in some drama people and bikinis and you know surfing Yeah, I mean that's kind of I think that feel like that's MTV's reality Cocktail is you take rich white Beautiful people and you throw them in a room with some alcohol and shit's gonna happen It's gonna be interesting for everybody to watch. Yes, and it was and it looked like a fucking movie It did and it was a multi-camera of what they call you know multi-camera

Shoot so they would go into a restaurant and instead of having just one camera panning back and forth like a lot of these reality shows there was seven cameras on them all these different angles and they were all sin it was very yeah cinematic yeah it's very it was beautiful everybody remembers Laguna Beach I mean you know come on do you remember Laguna Beach if you if you if you don't I think it's even popular now like I think the reruns are online and people watch it I would watch it again I would watch it again I went back and watch couple episodes like 10 years ago

and I was like, this is a really fucking interesting show. Because they do nothing. And yet they're so dramatic about nothing. Everything, how is nothing so dramatic? They're like the housewives before the housewives. They're teenagers. Yeah, drinking and fighting and having sex with each other because it was, yeah.

Like, okay. So, Kristen is one of the breakout stars of the show. Kristen is gorgeous woman and LC was the other one. Lauren Conrad was the other one. I, I, I, and then Jenner Brody Jenner was an E. Oh, Brody Jenner was an expense or perhaps. I've been so proud.

Heidi Pratt. Heidi, now Pratt. What was her name then? Heidi. Because then got Spencer Pratt. Heidi Pratt. Heidi, now Pratt. What was her name then? Heidi. Because then she... Clume? No.

Did I get that one wrong? Yeah, I didn't get that wrong. Her former name. But she's married to Spencer. She's married to her friend. And they stayed together somehow all this time. So that, so, Kristen Caviarri goes on probably to be the most famous of all of the, I mean, Spencer and Heidi, I guess they, you know, they're famous in some circles,

but Kristen is now has like, she's got her own business lines, got a clothing line that's very popular. She has a show. She has a television show. Well they went on and did even a show after Laguna Beach. There was, I don't, if was that when they went to college.

The hills. The hills. How did I get that right? I am so bad at remembering this stuff, and yet this is the one, oh this is the, it's interesting. This is the one thing that's sticking around my head. Is the hills and Laguna Beach. So the hills, yeah, they went on to do the hills

and Lauren Conrad and they, you know, they were all working their way in their business like Whitney, Whitney, whatever her name was, was a part of that too, the tall one. So Kristen goes on to have a very successful career still, a very popular and famous person in some circles. And she has this clothing line. She marries a football player named Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler is a quarterback for the Chicago Bears. I think he's still a quarterback for Chicago Bears. Yeah, but didn't he, wasn't he first with the cowboys?

Or possibly. Okay. I think we should not even venture the sports. Yeah, we should. Yeah. I think we should say as far away from sports as possible. Talk to me about golf. We can answer those questions, but otherwise. Uh-uh. So he becomes a famous quarterback for the,

I'm like most quarterbacks are for the Chicago Bears. And he ends up dating and then getting together with Kristen Caviari. They marry, they have children and here is, and I say all this because I was reading the most interesting article, very in-depth article on Buzzfeed, hard-hitting news journalism. Buzzfeed just bought Huffington Post, by the way. They did? Yeah.

Fuck, really? Which was owned by Verizon. Huffington Post was owned by Verizon. Yeah. I thought it was owned by Ariana Huffington. She sold it to Verizon. She sold it to Verizon? I'm getting my news from Verizon.

Yes. Wow. It all makes you think about where you're getting stuff from. Man, maybe I missed the cue boat. Maybe I should jump on that cue van wagon. I mean, that's crazy. I didn't know that. I really didn't.

I had no idea. I'm ill-informed in the ways of who owns what media organization or media source. Not that I read the half of the book. There's like four. Literally. Yeah, there's like four. That's not gonna do it too.

Because then we get an email about what you use with your own. Okay, go on about Christmas. Like a liberal assholes. So, a reading this interesting, hard-hitting, in-depth news article, if you can call it that, about Kristen and Jay. Kristen has a television show where she,

they follow her. So Cavalary. So Cavalary, which is the worst name in reality television show history, but we'll move on from that. Yeah. She's building a business, an online clothing business, and she has an assistant, or a girl that works

with her name, Shannon. This girl This girl Shannon becomes like, you know, there's a bad guy in every television show. There's got to be a bad guy in every television show. And the producers make her the bad guy. This Shannon girl. Listen, I don't know. I've never watched an episode. I'm just reading the article, right? I'm just telling you literally what the article said. So the article says that Shannon becomes the bad guy on this television show. And she's not very good at her job. And there's a couple of mess-ups like they sent out an email promoting, you know, the hot the big holiday black Friday stuff And she forgot to put out she forgot to put a link to the actual sale of the actual clothing Which is a pretty big fuck up if you're sending out an email to sell stuff and then people can't figure out where to buy it

But I digress so there's this big blowout Jay Cutler is at home on the television show with his wife, Kristen, and they are talking about how this girl just has to be fired. She can be no more because she's completely, you know, fucking up her job, basically. And I know what it's like to be completely incompetent. I'll tell you, oh, maybe that's impotent. I forgot which one anyway. So they fire her and some dramatic scene.

Well, fast forward six months and Jay and Kristen now announced that they're going to get a divorce. They're going to get separated. And guess who Jay Kotler is tweeting about and Instagramming with in the most shitty and vile of fucking ways. I mean in the most, like clearly. Like they're, they're hooking up? Not hooking up, but it's clear that that's what,

it they're insinuating. It's it would be, like it's an Instagram video where Shannon is, they're all the restaurant with some friends. And Shannon has got, you know, the, the set she's doing the selfie video. And then Jay just kind of pops into the, into the video and Shannon gives the look.

The look that's directly at Chris then like, you know, fuck you got your man, right? Right. I was taken by this. I found myself all wrapped up in this fucking article about nothing important. That's what Buzzfeed. I know. That's what Buzzfeed does. They take unimportant shit and then you get important.

I'm going to go with I. Oh yeah. I don't read it a lot. I haven't read it in many years, but I just decided, I'll let me pop on BuzzFeed and see what's going on. It's called clickbait. It is called clickbait and that was clickbait.

And I cannot believe, like, so got me in, so got me wondering, have you ever done anything specifically to get back at your ex? Like have you ever, has there ever been a revenge tactic? Have you done something shitty, just to kind of flaunted in your ex's face.

Get back into it. No? No, I like to be wrong. Wow, this conversation went quickly, no. I'm sorry. Well folks, that's the show, thanks for. When I'm done, I'm done. You don't, it's nothing.

I'm gonna be wrong. No, I don't waste my time. You don't like, you don't like, put little Facebook posts and make them public on accident. No, nothing don't waste my time. You don't like, you don't like put little Facebook posts and make them public on accident. No, nothing like that. You don't accidentally text them, meet you there. Yeah, sounds great, I'll be there at eight, something like that.

No, that's a good way. Wow, you look hot. There's a picture of my dick. I definitely have never done that. You've never done the, here's a picture of my dick. I definitely have never done that. You've never done the... Here's a picture of my dick. In the history of my life, I have never, ever

sent an unsolicited dick pick ever. And I... It's good. I'm glad to hear that Brian. But guys do it all the time. It's a thing. Just like, whoop, here it is. Boom. They slide in your deans. Is's a thing. Just like, what pair does boom? Yeah, boom. They slide in your dance. Is it clickbait? It's dickbait. It's dickbait. Click on it if you like it. Yeah, click on it if you like it. Respond to me if you like it. This is what I'm hearing. This is the word on the street. And you can you can email us and correct me if I'm wrong.

I know you have stories about that. The word on this street, the street that we live on here, this tough rough Atlanta neighborhood street. Where all the shit goes down right here, in North of Atlanta. That's right, average age, 48. The word on the street is that on plenty of fishes or or where plenty of bitches, or Tinder, Flinder, whatever you're using. Yeah, flounder. Flounder. The word on the street is, is that the thing to do,

is that you start communicating with a woman, and then you slide a dick pick in there. Just, I guess that kind of cut to the chase. Yeah, it is, bro, bro, bro. But never in my life. Licing. Yeah, have I sent an unsolicited dick pick in there. Just, I guess they kind of cut to the chase. Yeah, it is, bro. But never in my life. I think. Yeah, have I sent an unsolicited dick pick? That was good. I have gotten some unsolicited dick picks in my life, though.

I once dated a girl and it was like, I don't know, Friday night. Right? I think you know the woman, but I won't mention her name online. I'll tell you how. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'm gonna go on Friday night, hanging out, it's like seven o'clock. And then all of the sudden, pictures of Ching-Chang and Tucho just start showing up all over the place. I mean, it's like Pussy galore, right? It's just in,

I don't know what's going on. I feel like guys are a little bit more receptive to that though. It never in our entire friendship, date, nothing. It never happened. It never happened. There had never even been, not even a woof of a p... Of a... Of a pouty pick. Nothing.

Right? Then all of a sudden, a barrage of pussy picks. Alcohol. Alcohol. Exactly. So there's about, I wanna say between 10 and 15 of these come by in different variations and pictures. I know. It objects and.

Well then you gotta respond or leave her hang in. That's it. So now I'm in with a group of people, we're having dinner at this place out there at a patio. And it's like, you know. Ding ding. Wow. Ding ding, you know, Ding ding. Wow.

Ding ding. Holy shit. Ding ding. Is that a ding ding? You can you do that with tongues? And I'm like, and so my friends are, what's going on over there? No, no, nothing, nothing, nothing.

And then she's like, dick pick, question mark. No. And I had to say no. Like no, I'm sorry, I can't. And the embarrassment I must have brought upon this woman who was quite shy had never even, I mean, nothing like that. Nothing had ever indicated that this would be the,

she was going out on a limb. She was going out on a limb. Just going for it 100% and I had to say no, I can't. Yeah, you, I would think that you at least have to kind of preface that by getting a little conversation going like, hey, what do you have to do tonight? Oh, you're out to dinner, let's talk later. That's right.

Oh, you're at home, then that's when the slide happens, ding, ding, ding. I feel like we should have prepared for this a little bit. I feel like if we had communicated earlier, I'm gonna go out for a few drinks. Sounds great. What do you do in later? I'm gonna go out to dinner with some friends.

When you get home, you let me know. Yeah, exactly. I got some presents for you. Yeah, I got some presents for you. Make sure you're alone. Throw your phone up on the ITV. Yes, mirror. And let's get at it.

But instead, what she got was no. And for a whole day, she didn't respond to my text messages after that. For a whole day. I think she was like the combination of like embarrassed hungover. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Totally. But I've never did that.

I did not do this. I did not do this. This was not me. This is my sister She is a bitch. I just want to show you what she's doing when I I have never sent it on when I got home. I still didn't send the dick pick I feel like when you look at me. I look at the camera How we doing, Astrid? How are things going? We have this whole setup for YouTube, which you can go to tcdpodcast.com.

Just told you, go to tcdpodcast.com and you can watch the show. We're just getting used to recording inside of the studio, which is a whole different vibe than recording online. Am I right? Yes. It's a whole different vibe than recording online. Am I right? It's a whole different vibe. And one of the vibes is that we were looking at each other the entire time before. And now we've got a couple of different problems

that have arisen. There's a monitor behind us that is recording all of this like screen recording in a TV software. And it's showing us. So the predilection, the natural inclination is to look there because there you are. It's like a selfie. You're looking at you want to make sure that you look good,

that your glasses didn't fall off. Then my dick's not hanging out in my pants. I didn't have it. You know, you know, you totally didn't have a Janet Jackson moment over. Yeah, right. Right. And so over the last couple of weeks,

we've been kind of fine tuning it. And Astrid says Astrid our executive producer and Gustavo say, Brian, you have to start looking at the camera. It's clear that you're looking at something off camera and it's so distracting. So now I'm having a really hard time doing this, but now Chrissy and I were sitting side by side. Well, it's because we wanna look at each other.

We wanna look at each other, but then. Now, two. Yeah. It's like, oh. Okay, next to me, then I'm looking at the camera, then I'm looking at the monitor. What do I look? It's like a three-stooge is routine.

Hey, Mao, look over here. Right, right. Right. We're gonna get there. We're gonna get there. Yeah, we're gonna get there. So, never in my life sent in on, and not even when I got home,

did I even send her that dick pic that I just, Yeah, the moment passed. Yeah, the moment passed. And also at at that I actually didn't I actually never sent any well I've never sent any kind of new so photographs until very very recently with my wife because I was always afraid that they would get right I was always afraid that people would find out what I'm working with wow did you see Brian? That's not good.

That is not good. Oh. Speaking of dick picks, I was online. Actually, I was online, but before I was online, I was listening to Stern, to Howard Stern. He's a classic. Classic. Classic. He just wrote his book. It's really Stern. He's a classic. Classic. Classic. He's just booked, because he's booked.

It's really good. It's really good. We've sent him an invitation to come on the show and we're waiting for him to say yes or no. I feel like it's gonna be yes. It's right around the corner. Let's go with Trump's theory. Round in the corner.

Round in the corner. I'm gonna go. Massive fraud. Massive. I got 950 million votes. So I was listening to Stern, I think it was a replay and I heard one of the guys on their cell was talking about how he was dipping his balls

in soy sauce. Now, I didn't catch the whole episode, I just caught a little bit of it. And so I got home and I was like, why is cell dipping his balls in soy sauce? And he mentioned that this is people are doing this all over the internet. Have you heard about this? No, I have not. People are dipping their balls in soy sauce. It's so close. It's so close. Class in 2020. Classic. Apparently, a researcher in somewhere

in somewhere in Europe put out an article. And in that article it stated that men have a taste receptors on their balls, on their testes. So somebody read this medical research and decided that they were going to take it 100% they were going to go hard on this right and I don't mean go hard with their dicks, I'm just go hard.

And they figured out that, you know, soy sauce is so salty. If I'm gonna taste something, I would taste it, I would taste salt with the soy sauce. So they, like they're tasting it on their tongue from their balls? Or is it just a mental? That's mental.

Well, I guess you tasted on your balls and then listen. It's a little known fact that your testicles are the seventh sense that you use to eat. There's your ears, your eyes, your nose, your mouth, and your testes. It's the taste bud testes, right? And so what you, well, I often do is, when the meal comes, let's say,

what do you like, you like to cook Jeff a good pork line, right? I'm thinking of it more as like a good ball of wine. I like to open that up. Did you know you can drink your anus? Oh God. You can get drunk through your anus. That's your story. I think I have heard stories about that.

I'm in cheese. Well, I've heard lots of cocaine stories. Yeah, that was about to say. So let's say you bring a pork loin to the table, right? If I want to enjoy the whole meal, 100% in its complexity, I have to dip my balls on the pork loin. It's active. What do you have a nice white wine sauce with that?

So instead of making a big scene with the pork loin at the table, what I would do is I would ask for a little sample of the sauce on the side, and then just very politely. You're a ramican. I'm thinking about what's going to happen in the future as we learn and develop the testy taste buds. Okay. So I feel like what's going to happen is you're going to order a pork loin with white wine sauce.

And you're going to say can I please have a testy taste? And can I have a little testy taste? I like it. Can I have a little testy taste? A little tea taste. Can please have a testy taste? And can I have a little testy taste? A little tea taste. Can I have a little tea taste? Do you mind? A little tea taste. And the waiter is going to go, of course, so I'll bring that right away. And I'll say, thank you very much.

And he'll be like, Mr. Green, you're a tea taste. Thank you. And what I'll do is, you'll be a little pocket right under your balls and you'll zip it. The balls will fall out. And you'll take your little cup. Splash. Yeah is it'll be a little pocket right under your balls and you'll zip it. The balls will fall out. And you'll take your little cut. You're a splash. Yeah, it'll be like, I feel like it'll be a little cup with two circles. And then you'll just kind of bloop, bloop.

That's good. And then you'll tell the rest of the table. You'll say, you'll say, this is, this is great pork. I should order it. It's fantastic. I can taste the taste. Yeah. Taste, test these taste test.

The test these taste. The taste test of the test these. I feel like you could do with the same thing with the wine, right, when they do. I think this is a definite, a niche product. You know, they always say to invent something, you make a lot of money from the little, the two little cups that you just put

on the table. Like the, like the, testy diaper flask. Yeah. I feel like. I feel like it. I feel like it. It's the whole thing, the, the bowl.

Ramicking. I feel like when you get a bottle of wine and you're going to detain to it. Right. You just ask if it's okay Your balls You mind poured that over my ball Let that breathe a little bit

Probably not you are to the ball of mine? Thank you. Do I thank you? I think I'll have the 1922 chat term, Mom. Fine, join us here. Would you bring the decanter? Would you please bring the decanter? Would you move on my balls? Bring the nut canter, please Bring the decanter by decanter. I mean the decanter, the did decanter. The tea canter. Oh my god. I'm crying. Okay sir, you have crying okay sir you're a shot of 19 coming on shot to a mom that's an excellent year but sir man I say your balls are smooth pleasant your balls have balls. Your balls know a great line when they say what. I don't even know that anybody

can hear a word saying because we don't have so hard. I'm crying. I'm literally crying. Because I can see my balls in the decay answer. You have exceptional taste. You have exceptional taste. You're testing that exceptional. Exceptional. I feel like it's... I can taste things sometimes that your tongue can't taste. Okay, that's right. I get a hint of...

I get a hint of floral. I get a hint of floral right in my scrot. I feel like I'm getting a hint of scrotal. Of scrot old notes. Oh, sir. I feel like I'm getting a hint of taint. I feel like I'm getting a tint of taint in there. It's just a little bit of tint of tint.

So. Such a fine taste. You're correct, sir. I feel like there's gonna be like, there's gonna be Somaliase. There's gonna be ballsamaliase. Somaliase. Yes, yes, yes.

Excuse me. I'm here looking at the wine list, and I was just wondering, do you have a Scroat Somalia here? I'm going to need a sauce. We do. Let me go get Steve real quick. Have everybody. Well, hi, my name's Dave.

I'm the first certified Scroat Taster. Yes, we're really thinking about having the pork loin tonight. We were wondering if you could recommend a good wine. That would run easy over the balls. Well, I sure am glad you came over. Now, let me tell you, the 1925 Shantel Mammoth has a tint of tank. But if you really want to go with something nutty, you want to go with the silver oak

22. Oh yes, let's taste the 22. Do you mind if I taste it with my scrote? Do you mind if I give my scrote a splash? Oh my God. It's going to be a thing. It's a thing. Mark our words. It's a thing. Mark our words.

Mark our words. It's a thing. I actually composed myself for a second. I have not laughed that hard in a week. Every time we get together, something super funny comes out of it. And I hope it's as funny to the people as there is to us because that I was literally crying. So I get online and I realize that people are actually doing this. They're actually sticking their balls and soy sauce.

Okay. And some guys are claiming that they actually are tasting it. Like, I don't know if they're tasting it in their mouth. Well, that's what I was saying. What were they tasting? So I look further into this, because I'm like, this isn't a thing. You try it.

You know, I do. You try it. I don't need time for all that kind of shit. My balls are too low. I have to put the cup on the floor and like run by and then drag it. But it's a kind of like water ski my balls across the soy sauce. Shine my shoes, all about it.

So I look into this and I'm like, this can't, this is not true. This don't know one wrote an article about being able to taste stuff with your scrotum. But yes, they did write an article about being able to not being able to taste stuff with your scrotum, but that there are there are taste receptacles. There are nerves that can taste like nerve taste nerve endings in different parts of your body But they don't have taste buds and taste buds are the things that actually make you taste So it is indeed bullshit. There is no there are no taste buds in your testicles So just stop it

But there are a lot of videos out there if you if you're so inclined if you want to Okay, you don't think you Think that's anything that you want to get into. No, not yet. Okay. Maybe. If I get really bored, that's next week. I feel like one night you're going to catch Jeff with his balls and the soy sauce. I'm going to featureize it. Tell your story about, tell me was telling me a story off air about she was over at her dad's house this last weekend. Tell your story about Jeff

getting caught with his hand in the cup of jam. Oh my gosh, well let me preface it by saying that my parent's house is this kind of weird vortex. It's almost like a casino. It's not a casino, but it doesn't, it's kind of, it's on this hill, and there's a porch in the back,

and I don't know, you can't really tell what time it is for some reason. I mean, no, it's dark or you know, it's light. Other than that, you're hanging out, drinking, having drinks, talking, getting together. I mean, it's always very jovial and fun. We're watching movies. It's a good vibe over there. It's a great vibe. So the vibe usually just kind of continues on. Maybe a little bit past where you should. It was. But I can understand

because you're with family. You're having fun. You're safe place. You don't have to drive anywhere. You got a comfortable pajamas. Yeah, you're in your PJ. There's no pretense. There's no nothing. You're just there having a good time Yeah, so it was Thanksgiving and you have to know these people like Papa Joe who's her grandfather. Yes I'm just gonna tell this story real quick before you finish with this story I I one time went to the Chris company Christmas party for for For this grand father

My day that year I went as Chris's date to be clear. Chrissy and I were not dating I went as a date as a friend date, yeah, plus one. And I feel like I need to make that clear with everybody. Like, you know, we're doing an interview for podcast magazine that's like, so long, how long are you guys gonna couple? I'm not a couple, just because we're friends. Anyway, so she takes me to this Christmas party

for her grandfather's business. And her grandfather, it's probably 83 at the time. How old do you think he is? Probably 83. Yeah, he's 88 now. Oh, he's 88. That was probably seven years ago. So 81 or 82 years old.

And his 80s for sure. And this rock star motherfucker brings a woman, a beautiful African American woman, I mean, this woman was smoking hot. Yeah. a woman, a beautiful African American, I mean, this woman was smoke and hot. Yeah. That is half his fucking age to the party because they were a couple, not because, but here's the thing, is that in my time

of knowing Chrissy Hodley and Papa Joe, this is like the seventh woman that's hot, 30, 40 year old woman. He's got that neck, he's got that close. He does. Yeah. He's just, he's a gentleman. He would not be afraid to DD canter a wine.

I'll take you that right now. Probably. You don't have fun to something funny to say. He is the most interesting man in the world. Your grandfather is. Oh, you had me out on the dance floor that night. He was spinning. Spinning you around.

Spinning you around, dancing. Oh, what a great time. I was dancing with your mom. That was a great time. But so anyway, so you have to know that this is like the general attitude and atmosphere of this house. It's fun. It's not like parent-kid relationship.

It's like everyone's there having a good relationship. It's like everyone's there. It's like you've known everybody your whole life because you have. You're just having a good time. You're just wondering if you're seeing it. Hang it out. Oh yeah. So this year was no different. So we dipped into the bourbon a little bit and we had this amazing pie and it was this pumpkin cheesecake. Oh, it was ridiculous. It was illegal. It was illegal. It's illegal pie. I'm such a big fan of cheesecake. Oh, and cheesecake and the pumpkin cheese. Oh, it was so good. So you know, Thanksgiving, we ate around four that day and then you just start dipping in leftovers as the night goes on.

You're taking a little turkey, getting a little cranberry, little stuffing, little pie. So Jeff, my dad goes to bed. And to get up early, so Papa Joe goes to bed. Okay, so everybody's sleeping in the house, except for you and Jeff. Yeah. Okay, so you and Jeff.

So we're upstairs and we're kind of continued on our party. When he's talking to a friend, I'm talking to my sister who couldn't be there this year and so. Okay. So your upstairs in are the are the are your dad downstairs downstairs. Downstairs sleeping in his room. Sleeping in his room. Gotcha. We've got three dogs. Okay. So the dogs kind of have to go out, you know, throughout the evening. So I go fuckers. So Jeff, Jeff, because I'm going to go downstairs and get some water. And I said, Fire cool question.

No, you're not. I go, I brought up a couple of waters here and put them next to your side of the bed. I was like, you're not going down there to get water. You're going down to get there with some more bourbon, aren't you? Oh. Oh. Okay, yeah, yeah.

So he goes downstairs and while he's downstairs, I think I'm finished with my conversation with Kelly and talking to my sister, bang up. Yep. Jeff Olvesson high tails it back up to the front and says, oh my god, you're down. I was just down there. And he likes the words, head bones, like rock out of music. He was down there.

He was down there dipping in. Jeff does. Jeff's got his head. Jeff goes, be bobbed down the stairs with his headphones on. And go straight to the refrigerator. Thank you my dad as a sleep. Goes to the refrigerator, opens it up, is like scooping out, you know spoon full of the spoon.

Oh my god eating it right out of the thing. Yeah. Scooping. Scooping, taking a big scoop and pie. And he closes the door and he's listening to music. He doesn't hear my dad has come out of his room Just as he closed the door That's the refrigerator and there's my dad

Trying to talk to him like Jeff. He thought Jeff was sleepwalking That's when you just lay on the door, ran back up to the stairs, he got scared. He scared. He scared. Oh my God, I could see Jeff. I could see your father with no shirt on.

I could see Jeff like rocking out. No, and then the little bit continued by saying this. They go so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, that didn't end things. Jeff gets upstairs, I'm like, what do you mean? Did you wake my dad up? No, no, no.

And so, Jeff and I are kinda like, and I'm like, we just need to stop drinking and go to bed. Yes. So we go to bed, wake up the next morning, Jeff's like, where's my phone? Okay. And I don't have my phone. In the cheesecake.

I don't know, son, I'm trying to call it. Hey, well, we searched the whole entire upstairs of the phone for like an hour. We searched for the phone. We're trying to call it. It's dead. So we can find it. So wait, so he brought the phone downstairs? So we brought the phone downstairs.

In the end, we figure out the phone was downstairs. It's dead. His Apple watch dead. His headphones dead. All downstairs. He just like, what did he do? He's stripped. Yeah. That's everything. Bye bye. Bye bye.

I'm so related because if you, I mean, I don't even know what episode it was at this point, maybe number three, four, seven, whatever it was, I told the story how I was at my dad's house. And ever since I've been a child, I have had a fear of getting caught eating late at night. Because that's the kind of household that we lived in, right? You just, it was not something, it's not that it wasn't permitted,

it's that you would get ball busted about it, right? I was like, oh, it all the Cheetos. I was like, yeah. How many nutter butters do I have to buy every week? In order to satisfy good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one.

I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one.

I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. the experimentation part of my life on a smoking a little bit of weed. What I really like to do was something sweet

and something salty, something chocolate and something salty. I have a whole fucking bag of lays with a whole box of another butters and a night I just, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Watching court TV, all J. Simpson, trout. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Right, and then the next morning

to be holy hell to pay because oh, what did another butters go? I don't want to. I don't know, it's hot to Kevin. I mean, wasn't it? You know to Kevin. I mean, muslim get it. You know that Kevin. But clearly it was me, because I had a back entrance to the stairs.

So I know that feeling of getting caught and it still persists to this day, even though my father is a completely different human being. And one, Ron, to petute if I was upstairs eating something, every time I go upstairs in his house, from the guest rooms are downstairs, and they're on the main floor. And every time I go up there,

I'm like, I revert back to a 13 year old child, just like, and if the light goes on, if I hear my father, I'm like, bye bye. I relate to this. It's food, it's upset. I don't know what it is. It's like a food, it's like a PTSD around food or something like that.

And still to this day, it persists in my own house. I feel like sometimes I'm sneaking around getting food in my own house. And you're gonna have to make me. I hope Aster doesn't see. Look at an example of my setting for my children. I need a therapist. Oh my God. Well, I mean listen.

My question is, okay, so good story. What did your dad say the next more to was there any conversation about? No, the reason that he had to go to bed was because he had to get up early and go to work He's a sweet heart. He was he's getting right to retire until he'd let all his His people below him. He's a manager and little the people below him. Oh, he let them have the day off Let them have the day off. So he was working the next day. He's a nice guy. He's a super nice guy. Always liked your father He's always like Papa Joe. He's great. But then Papa Joe, well, my dad's dad, David, and then Papa Joe, Papa Joe, but Papa Joe was there. And

he was up. And he told us that my dad told him about it. And that he thought that Jeff was the one. The one, I went over there a couple times. I also broke my toe that evening. You broke your toe? My dad wanted me to help put up the Christmas tree. And so. Once again, out broken? There's a little tiny little bone I think that's broken.

Oh my God. That fucking hurts and there's nothing you do about it. I know. I was putting up the god. That fucking hurts under something you do. I know Yeah, I was putting the crisis tree tripped over the dog gate once again the dogs Fucking dogs man. Let me tell you something about dogs No matter how much my son and my daughter beg me for another fucking dog I'm not getting another fucking dog not because I don't love dogs. I love dogs I will support the ASPC eighth all the day that I die or whatever no kill animal shelter's out there. And I hope that everyone adopts as many animals as possible. But dogs with children,

yappy dogs, yappy small little dogs with children. I don't like happy ones too much. It's too much. Every time the whole thing goes into my house. Jeff goes, that's like dog birth control, dog control. Dog control, birth control for dog. I'm not getting another dog, it's not gonna happen. Now when, when asked her to retire, then maybe.

Yeah. Yeah, when I come over to the house, blue goes nuts. Blue goes nuts when she comes over to that. I mean, she goes out, she gets, blue goes nuts about everything. Don't mistake, you know, that just this one time when I, when Holy comes over to the dog goes nuts. Blue barks at everything, everything. Don't mistake, you know, that just this one time when I, when Holdy comes over the dog, it's not so blue, barks at everything, everything,

24 hours a day, seven days a week, we have tried everything, except for getting her vocal cords removed, which was suggested to us, but obviously it's extremely inhumane. I'm not gonna get my, I've heard dogs with their vocal cords removed. You've heard them. It's weird. Oh, yeah. Not gonna do it. Not gonna do it. No way. I'm not, and listen, I made a promise to the dog. I made a deal with the dog your mind. I'll take care of you Whatever you kick the bucket and then you know and I love her I make it I make it sound like I don't like the dogs I really do love the dogs, but I'm not getting anymore. No, no

This is not gonna happen. Yeah, the one time I went over to your house. I'll just tell this really quick The one time I went over to your grandfather's house Papa Joe we I think was super bowl Joe. I think it was super bowl. Actually, I think it was super bowl son there. That's right. And we all were there and having a great time and drinking and partying. Yeah. And you went to bed at some point. You went upstairs and I was sleeping downstairs in one of the guest bedrooms. And so you said, okay, I'm going to go, I got to go to bed and I'm going to go to sleep. Yep, okay, no problem. In me and Papa Joe were up, Papa Joe was sitting in the lake, laying in the fine, sitting in the lazy way.

Yeah, right? I wasn't down there, I totally wasn't gone. Papa Joe was awake talking to me, right? Before Chrissy says goodnight, I wasn't downstairs for 16 and a half fucking seconds. And I look over and Papa Joe is got his cup and I was like, well, time to go to bed.

Guess it's time to go to bed. It's that kind of house. You're so chill. We didn't have time for pod cat. We didn't have time for Henry Fonda's marriage advice. Henry Fonda wanted to come on and do a whole thing about marriage at next in his room. After a show.

I'll tell you what we're gonna do. Let's save it for the next episode, because I think it's a little bit longer than an after show. Okay. It's a little bit more than an after show. But you should still join after show. Yeah, you still join the after show. Tcbpodcast.com is where you go to. Join the after show.

You can find out more about Chrissy and I. You can drop us a line info at tcbpodcast.com. Join the break room. Watch us on YouTube. All that other good stuff follows on the socials. In January, Chrissy and I will start doing two shows a week, one that will broadcast on regular podcast channels, one that will broadcast on another separate channel for more information on how to become part of that second show or how to listen to that second show.

Go to TCB podcast. You can be a part of it too. You can be a part of it too. We'd love to have people on. We're actually getting a phone line, by the way. And we'll let people know when we're recording. I think that's going to be super cool. I think we're going to get a lot of fucking idiots out of it coming out of the wood. I love it. We're yelling at it.

I love it. And in addition to that, we're going to do one live show every month on Twitch and YouTube streaming on YouTube. So stay tuned. Join us on the break room so you can be kept up to date on all that. And you know what? That's all I got to say We love you. We love you. I love you. Bye To get access to the commercial break after show go to tcbpodcast.com and join the break room You'll get access to the after show YouTube YouTube Extras, live shows and much more.

Follow at the commercial break on Instagram and Facebook. It's that squiggly little email thing at sign the commercial break. The commercial break is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by a Chrissy Houdley. We are available on most podcast providers. Tune us in and RideItOut. you