The Commercial Break - All That Joking Could Hurt You!

Episode Date: May 20, 2022

Dave Chapelle was recently attacked on stage while doing a comedy set. Bryan wonders: Why are humans becoming increasingly sensitive to opposing view points? He then gets on his soap box! Hardees is still place that servers something resembling food and somewhere people are waiting in line for it! Bryan has a game for Hoadley. He shares some favorite dad jokes and tries to make Krissy laugh. This shall not be hard to do! (Or shall it?) LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this episode of the commercial break. Rev down, rev up! Rev down. We don't want to rev. We want down, rev. That's what we want. That's our motto here at the commercial break. Down, rev.

Or at the commercial break. Which also stands for revenue if you look at our charts. That's also down-reving here. It's a surprise. I don't know what Hardee's does, but this episode is brought to you by Hardee. Yes. Home of the double, double, barred burger. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Okay. Welcome to Hardee's. Can I kick your order, please? Oh Okay Yeah, what are you guys known for

Oh Why can't a note clever? Yeah clever some of Mark why can't a nose be 12 inches long? It's actually funny like when when your dad is saying it to you Yeah, but uh yeah just imagine I'm your daddy The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, it's another episode of the commercial break. Welcome back, I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, Kristen, Holy Bestie of Christy.

And this is you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you, thanks for joining us on You Don't Know The Rap and the Hood of this. The commercial break, the only one you'll ever need News factor fiction and 60 seconds or less your money back Only place you let one stop shop one stop shop for all the bullshit If you're looking to get into it get into it with us. Why not dig dive right in like Madonna's tree dig right into the vagina Oh Try it in, like Madonna's tree. Dig right into the vagina. Oh, what an interesting NFT, huh? That was a very interesting.

It's very interesting NFT. Very very interesting. Go back and listen to the last episode or you wanna find out more about Madonna's new NFT collection with Deepal. The guy sold the $69 million NFT, went from $69 million NFT to trees coming out of a vagina. Yeah.

Yeah. Took him like seven years to make that one NFT. What you got, $69 million, then you can just do it every time. Yeah, well, I him like seven years to make that one. What you got, that's $9 million, then you can just do whatever you want. Yeah, well, I know, just, you know, rent a laser and circulate around Madonna's Poudenda. Poudenda. Poudenda.

Poudenda. Poudenda. That's his little Poudenda. You know, we haven't talked about this, but I know it's been a couple of weeks, maybe even a month since this happened. But Dave Chappelle got tackled, assaulted at Hollywood Bowl that one night by a guy who, at least that first appearance, has had a gun in his hand, turned out to be a knife, only

in America is there a gun shape like a gun, which is fucking ridiculous. But he ran up on stage, he tackled Dave Chappelle, then he got the holy living shit kicked out of him by... What was the purpose of that, by the way? He was mentally ill. Okay. He was mentally ill.

But you know, but this is, I then did some research. I'm not gonna show it here, because it's not that, we're not that type of show, but I'm not gonna show it here. I've got research driven. We're not research driven. We're not factual. We don't like facts here at the commercial break. They just get in driven. We're not factual. We don't like facts here at the commercial break.

They just get in the way of a good joke. Right. And what I mean is, I don't want to show all the negative bullshit. But there are, there's a lot of, this is not like the first time somebody has been attacked on stage at a comedy club. As a matter of fact, it happens a lot. Really?

Well, according to YouTube, yeah, according to my research, that YouTube plays to go to. There's a lot with recordings of my research that you think. Yeah. There's a lot of video of guys and girls getting attacked, physically and certainly verbally. There's a lot of verbal assaults, but it's like, you know, comedians got a job to do, right? And their job, I think the gestures job in life,

much like us here at the commercial break, even though we don't do a lot of envelope pushing, a lot of comedians do do envelope pushing. Their job is to... There's funny... They say envelope. Push the envelope. Whatever that means. Their job is to be on the edge,

Their job is to be on the edge, but right between completely irresponsible and mean-spirited and fucked up and funny. True. And that gray space is often super thin, right? Very true. And it just depends sometimes on your perspective about whether or not it's completely irresponsible mean-spirited or ugly, or completely hilarious,

and that's the best joke that's ever told. And comedians have always been that way. That, you know, you go back, you know, way, way to the Roman times, to the Roman times, to David's, the shepeleth, the Thith. Does anybody see the Roman bathhouse? It's full of young businesses. Off with his head. You know, it goes, there's a tradition that goes back a long time.

More recently, you know, it's not talking about Roman days, it's George Carlin. And yeah, you know, there's a lot of people, right? We can go through it. George Carlin and Chris Rock and, you know, just some degree Dave ship out. They all these guys are, they're getting... Dice clay. Dice clay.

They're Howard Stern. Howard Stern, yeah. They're all doing their own version of bringing a laugh to situations that otherwise don't seem funny and or making desensitizing us to the... Making people feel uncomfortable. Yeah, but making people feel comfortable in the situations uncomfortable

because it's hard to feel upset when you're laughing. That's right. So a lot of times they're desensitizing us in a way that I think is positive. They're desensitizing us to shit that we should have been talking about a long time ago. Howard Stern was bringing on gay people and lesbians and meanwhile that may seem now the things he was doing completely gosh and absolutely

We would never do that now, right? We would never talk about gay people or homosexuality in that way now He was the first person that was talking about it in any kind of positive light You know bringing homosexuals on and, you know, bringing light to a situation. Same with all of these comedians that we now revere as great, they're social commentators, it's what they are. And that's what they're doing. And while we may not like all the time, the message, that is their job, right?

Essentially, as, and I don't mean job like that's what they get paid to do. Of course they get paid to do. I mean, their job is like? Essentially, as an, I don't mean job like, that's what they get paid to do. Of course they get paid to do. I mean, their job is like their personality type in life. That's what they've been put on this earth to do. And if we are going to be so defensive and so upset about every little word that comes out of everybody's mouth, that we just fucking can't take it, then I think we're going in the wrong direction.

We saw that with Will Smith and Chris Rock, which was in my opinion, absolutely unwarranted. And I know a lot of people feel the same, feel the other way, they feel like Will Smith was absolutely justified to physically assault somebody for a joke that was not even good, and particularly lame, right? It's, there's no way under the sun that you could justify that, and I'm sorry,

you can't justify it because Chris Rock was doing his job, albeit poorly, that was not a great joke. albeit poorly, it doesn't matter. That doesn't give you the right to go on a salsa. It's all about how you react situations with anything in life. Yeah, you know, I've been watching that. You know, we've been watching that We Crash,

I told you. Yes. Okay, these two fucking lunatics, this fucking Newman, this've been watching you know, we've been watching that we crashed. I told you yes, okay These two fucking lunatics this fucking Newman this Adam Newman and his wife whatever name Ritz got or whatever name is Newman Did you watch the show? Now I had read so much about it that I just didn't watch the show okay You got to watch the show because I didn't like it at first. I told you I didn't like what's in the documentary like on them So yeah, I've watched I know I watched it while it was happening. I was like, I think I'm good on Jared Lotto. Okay, listen, I'm telling you, it's great.

I hated it the first episode. I was like, that's Jared Lotto playing a character. I can tell that's Jared Lotto playing character. And I hate it. By the halfway through episode number two, I was like, fuck, that's Adam Neumann. And I just love Jared Lotto as Adam Neumann. And he transforms into him.

He did. And I just, he got me on episode number two. I was like, I'm now involved, now I'm interested. And these two fucking morons are running around the world convincing themselves of anything, right? They're just, you know, you, she would say to him, like she was just this crazy human being who would be like, you know, you're a supernova.

You can manifest anything. And he walk in. Yeah, he'd walk in the running joke. The running like one of the things that keeps on popping up in the, in the whatever you call it, the series, is this old, it's not a joke, but it's like a parable. Who wins in a fight, the crazy man or the smart man?

Probably crazy. Okay, that's what Adam Newman answers to one of these investors. He'd walk in and he'd have nothing. He doesn't have anything. He doesn't have nothing. He's not a bicycle. The guy has no shoes. He doesn't wear shoes.

He walks in. There's an old New York investor, a real estate guy, and Adam, the guy goes, what are you going to do? A sign-a-lease, you're nobody, you're nothing. You don't have anything. And he goes, I don't want to sign a lease. I will. I want $4.4 billion.

And he walks out with a $4.4 billion check. He has nothing. This guy is crazy. But the, so it's clear that he's a nut job and that he just kind of manifests this stuff by being crazy. But one of the things that this series reminded me of is that it is often in life about perspective. It's true. This is very, very true. Yes.

And one of the things she's always saying to him is don't let the negative thoughts in. You can never let the negative thoughts in. If you're going to be so crinkle-cocked over a fucking joke that you feel like you got a physically assault somebody on national TV live. Or you're gonna jump up on stage and take a nose dive at somebody because your spinky dink is all in a wad over something somebody said,

we gotta re-evaluate our perspective. Stop it! It's enough! It's enough already. We... If you're inciting violence, that's one thing. If you're getting going up there and, you know, reciting mind-comp and getting people to kill people, that's one thing. But if you're making a joke in all good just and people are coming up and assaulting you, that is to meet a terrible, terrible indication of where we are as a society.

I know, and I think things have really gone crazy over the past few years. We are all so, God damn sensitive. We gotta just take a deep breath. Communions do what comedians do. You don't like what they have to say, turn them off. Don't go to their show. Don't pay attention, right?

That's just it. It's like road rage too. I mean, I wish I's like road rage too. I mean, I know. I wish I didn't have so much. I see you were getting so angry. And I'm like, you know what? Just let the other people think that the ride. Yeah, just let them go. Just let them go. At the four way stop. You can crash into them down the road. You can do a pitman over down the road. That's what my brain is thinking. I'll pay it over you later. I have to let it go. I'm learning.

I'm learning. I'm still. I'm still learning. I'm a little ways to work on it. Yeah. I just... I hate that you. I know.

Well, I have the great walkway treaty of 2021. What do you do? You started something good. I did. Which no one assigned. Oh, maybe 2020. It was the walkway treaty of 2020. What is it?

I have signed it. You signed it. So there's 2020. It was the walkway treaty of 2020. What is it? Oh, I've signed it. You signed it. So there's two of us. Yeah. There's two of us on board. So if we see each other on a pathway, we are giving each other space.

And we're going to say hello. I want to the right. You walk to the right. That's them. Then we just say hello. And yes. And we're going to say hello to each other. See you at the podcast.

We're going to be. Yes. Hey stranger. Get out of my lane. Yes, and we're gonna say the podcast Hey stranger Space I need space I said somebody walking on the on the left hand side of their day I was on a walk fucking full no I walked on the left and just to go around them and give them space. Oh see you were the good Yeah, well, that's the treaty, yeah. That's the other thing. That's the treaty was about. Oh, no, the treaty is about get out of my way. That's what the treaty is about.

Get out of my way. What do you think, God, no. It's just a treaty means, a treaty means I win. That's what a treaty means. It doesn't mean we win collectively. It means I win. Okay. So basically what I'm saying is, if you don't like my point of you turn it up.

Right. I really was upset by this whole situation. Now the guy ended up being mentally ill. So I guess this, but it just brings to light the fact that we're all so damn sensitive. And if we just took a minute to hear each other, put it put it put our big boy pants on, understand we're not always gonna like what someone has to say,

maybe try and even understand what they have to say a little bit or try and understand their point of view. I'm not saying you have to like it. I'm not saying you have to agree with it. I'm just saying stop being so fucking sensitive. You don't have to blow up at the guy at, you know, Danny's because he won't give you some extra syrup. You don't have to fucking have a shit. I'll watch in a video the other day. Lady comes in. Hardies

is closed. It closes at 11. She's in the drive. They're still hardies around. I think there's one. I think it's up there behind the CVS. I've had seen one forever. There's one up behind the CVS. I'm not even kidding. Never been there. Don't even know. I couldn't tell you what a hearty says to eat. Butter biscuits. I remember those from years ago. They get the double double bubble fart burger. They're really not known for anything, are they? No, yeah, they're known for nothing.

Yeah. Hearty's is known for their double bubble fart burger. I think biscuits is the only thing. Double bubble diarrhea burger. Here is your hearty. Would you diarrhea burger here in the hearties. Would you like chili on that? You serve chili? No, we don't. But there's something on the grill that looks like chili.

I'll throw it on the burger. It'll be delicious. You are first customer in years! There's dust as you pull up to the top. That's right. I'll let you go through Cobblins. Welcome to Chilean. I opened the store 6am 1972 June 2nd. I've been waiting for a customer ever since. Would you like some french fries? They've been in the fryer for 26 years. They're

really crispy. I retired years ago. They didn't keep sending me a paycheck. It's when I own by Facebook. We're in the tax right off. We're in the metaverse. Yes. I don't know what Hardee's does, but this episode is brought to you by Hardee's. Yes. One of the double, double Bartburger. Okay. Welcome to Hardee's. Can I take your order please? Yeah, what are you guys doing for? Definitely, definitely bankruptcy, but what can I get you? I've got a fresh pot of coffee. I just put it on last Tuesday. You got any burgers? Sure, not sure when the meat expired, but I'll throw a couple on.

Frozen stays long for a long time. Oh, yeah, you can free sure for that. Yeah. Joe Rogan all into that freezer meter. No, no, no, no. Call me up, Joe. I need to know. So the Hardies and the Double Bubble Farthburger. I, anyway, I saw some lady, the Hardies is closed. It closes at 11 p.m. But there's a line that wraps around to the street

for whatever. I guess Hardies might be popular somewhere. Something's going on at Hardies. I think California, I think that's where the Hardies still is California. No? They're healthy out there. Yeah They have the Mr

You know, you know, Caldjump Caldjump, what is it the Caldjipican burger in and out? No in and out in Texas. They have the What is that? What I don't know. They have a star burger or something. Who knows what the fuck it is But anyway, they have there so but not all of California Anyway, they have their so but not all of California's healthy. I just think of it. There's some good news out there. There's that's where the goonies was. I would think of a hearties and, you know, Alabama or Mississippi.

Actually, I'm sure there's a hearties in Alabama somewhere. And okay, so there's a whole line 11 p.m. The place closes. Okay. All right. Now before this lady gets up to the box to take the order, 11 o'clock rolls, you know, comes and goes. Well, she is so fucking upset that she's pounding on the door, making a whole fucking scene, right?

And finally, the manager cracks the door open to find out what and exactly in the holy hell are you worried about with your double-bubble fart burners. And she shoves her way in, and she's yelling and screaming. I want your phone number or your bad number I can't believe it's a No 7 and I've been sitting out waiting for my double bubble shit burger and I can't I can't go one day without Diary, and she's like going crazy. Blinge it out. Yeah, this is my animal. I

Eat it backwards with my You know she's obviously upset because she didn't have her you know chili chili Chees shit fries or whatever the fuck she's ordering right? She's upset because they close at 11 and she thinks She has the right to get served after 11 p.m You don't when you're getting paid $9.7 and hour to make double bubble fart burgers. You do not care who is sitting outside at 11. I'm done.

Amen. As it should be. You are serving fast food to people who are ungrateful and don't give a shit about you. Have you put a smile on your face while you're working because that's what we do. We work and that's miserable and that happens. You just put a smile on your face while you're working because that's what we do. We work and that's miserable and that happens You just put a smile on your face. When you worked at McDonald's and had to refill You know you had to take coffee to the man and the toilet. Yeah Refill his paper in the morning save right you're on the bathroom duty this morning

No, you don't say fucking a six years running. I'm on bathroom duty on Saturday morning. Take off. You're right, we have to do that. They would make us put the potso coffee and we would go refill people's coffee. They go with a fucking local diner, right? Meanwhile, I have to people who are in the bathroom and shitting themselves from the- From their families that are going away, is it?

From their Mc Grittle. They're Mac Grittle was going through. And I'd be filling up their coffee, helping it along. Yeah. Just get to juices flow. You want some caffeinated? Get to juices flow. So this lady goes and throws a hold.

You should fucking shit fit. But it just reminded me of how unedged this, this world is and there are no shortage of these videos. Every single place you look. They're everywhere. Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, you're a fucking home page of Google. I mean, our everywhere. My goal in life is to not have a video made like of that of me. I think at this point other than being successful in this podcast, that's it. Well, you might do better with the Karen videos. You're kind of doing a thick commercial break.

You might make more money with the Karen video than you will with the commercial break. But far be it for me to tell you what to do. I do not want to be that person. But you know, this just, I think this shines a light on the way that the entire world is feeling and how some segment of the world really can't get over themselves. And it's all about them and they don't, it doesn't matter who's in a way, as long as they think it's right,

then everybody else needs to follow. And if you don't follow, you can get hurt. I will hurt you, right? I will physically assault you because I feel entitled to do so because you have hurt my itty bitty little feelings. Will Smith and whoever else, assaults comedians on stage, yells at the poor hearties guy

because 11.017 has come and passed and you haven't gotten to the box yet. It's like, it's not his fucking problem and you the world does not revolve on your fucking head, get there earlier. That's it, exactly, that's right, get there earlier. Here's an idea, park your fucking car and get your ass out of the car and walk to the front

if you really wanna be there by 11 o'clock. I'm not sitting around, anyway. This whole... I'm still just mystified by what exactly was the line about it. I know, I know, I know. You must find this out. I'll find out, I'll go back in the video.

What kind of special thing did they have? Cr out. I'll find out. I'll go back in the video. Special thing do they have. Crack. I'm not sure. Maybe there's a truck. Or there's a drug that's going on there. Hardies released Q3 revenue to the NASDAQ and unbelievably of 700% worth of profit. They're new fentanyl burgers taking off in certain places.

So I just, I don't know why I'm saying this. I mean, we don't want to pontificate on the show, but I'm saying it to you. I wish. Which is also the show. Which is also the show. That's the whole show. I wish people would take a deep breath. Yes, everyone is, remember what I said, rev down. Rev down.

And instead of revving up, you know what they say? Rev, share, go, rev down. That's right. If you're looking for more rev to less rev. Yeah. We're aiming on the aliens. Rev down, rev up.

Rev down. Rev down. We don't want to rev, we want down rev. That's what we want down that's what we want that's our motto here yeah down rev the commercial rig which also stands for revenue if you look at our charts we're also down revving here that's our corporate motto to rev down can't help it this is going in that direction.

Just rev down. When we have our shareholder meeting, we're like, well, we're revving down. Certainly, Chrissy, thanks for that. And then you go, no, you thank you, Brian, for taking hardies out as our main sponsor. Did you call their double bubble sheet burger? Their double bubble shark burger.

Home made chili. That we don't have, made chili. Well, hey, listen, you know, everybody's got their secret ingredient. Bacon. Bacon. That's a they had some kind of bacon burger. I'm convinced of it now. I think everybody has a bacon burger. I know. You put bacon on anything and you're gonna sell it. Yeah, it's so good. It's so good. Kind of my favorite food. I know. I know there's a lot of religions that like Voney Twine and I got it. I got it. I got it.

And pigs are intelligent creatures, you know, roaming there. I got it. And there's all movie about babe but big. I got it. But I love bacon. And so does my son. If he smells bacon, he's like,

bacon. No, well, oh, my sister with the kids. She texted me one Saturday morning, and she goes, I'm fixing bacon and Nico's running around chanting bacon bacon. That's what my second is. He's like bacon. Shanty-kin. Bacon.

Bacon. Bacon. It's like the... The... The... The origin of taste. The hordes are at the gate. Bacon.

Bacon. Bacon. Bacon. It's so good. My dogs too. They're going to start spitting in circles. Again! Bacon! Bacon! It's so good. My dog's too. I know, yeah. It's like a stealing fan when bacon is cooking. It's like,

I know. It's so true. I mean, it just smells good. It tastes good. It smells good. And it's gonna be bacon fries. Krispy bacon fries say no more. Fuckin' A, right.

Maybe that's what Hardies is selling. We gotta figure out what hardies is up to right maybe I'll swing by it I'll get a double bubble shit for I Think I actually went to a hardy's one time say when the double bubble. Yeah, I say double bubble Give me the double bubble. They probably put weed in the bag Say that's a drug. Yeah, it's $50 for what the double bubble baby Yeah, dad, Bob baby, it that's seven and a half foot traffic. It might be your new favorite place Who knows you ever know I don't drink I got to figure out something to I got upcoming trouble. I got to figure out how to get out of it. I got to figure out how to rev down. I'm going to get myself like I was when I was a teenager. I'm going to get a big glass

graphics ball with a six foot extender. I'm going to stand on top of a step ladder. I never thought I'd done a big six foot ball yet. I mean, I'm not six foot, that they had to turn. Yeah. We had a ladder. Yeah. We had a three and a half foot graphics ball. We had a ladder. Which was the coolest thing that anybody had ever seen

the last one. We bought it, we hit it, we had, you know, it was a whole spy mission to get it in half. And then we had this, and then we got a five foot extender, plastic extender that we put on the, on it. Mine didn't have an extender, it was a straight up six foot ballender, plastic extender, that we put on the bonnet. Mine didn't have an extender, it was a straight up, six foot ball. Oh my, Chris, oh, you're fancy, I don't know why.

The friends I was thinking, I didn't grow up in the rich neighborhood. I got it. We had a piece of PVC pipe. Oh my God. Yeah, we saw it off and belted it together. This guy was rich, I think. Yeah, okay.

We had that, so we put a step ladder. So now we're talking like, I'm serious, it was like seven feet near. I mean, I don't know. I'm picturing a step ladder that I used to go get my flower. That's exactly what it is. Yeah, so we had this step ladder and we put it up and people, and we call it, you know, we call it whatever,

the BONG of death. The GCJ. Yeah, the BONG of death, or some stupid teenage name that you give it. And I had a I'll call it a friend who we had a friend that did this and we would get it You know we put the extra big Whatever you know it's like shot I didn't I do just fine on my own. Yeah, why did I need to do the six foot BONG No, I need to do the six foot BONG

No, and back then it was dirt fucking weed. It was like middies, right? We thought it was kind you know we call it time but it's kind but what the fuck are we thinking we're so stupid back then right but it was really middies we at least get some middies and so we thought you know we buy it for a little a couple extra bucks and you get it and we didn't have as many seeds as the shit we do. Right. And so then we'd stuff it in the bigger slide, and then we'd get the huge, you know, propane tank, and we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we We put somebody up there and I swear on all that he went boom. He he went And he took all and then he was just like

He's thudded on the ground. Yeah, all the stuff ladder. We all thought he was dead We were like oh shit and we're trying to shake him up and wake him and he was like Yeah, did I take it all was it it milky? And we were like, oh dude, it was milky. You're milky, you look yellow. It was yellow, you're yellow, everything's fine. He was high for a week, that guy was high for a week. He would be. I thought off the back of us talking about comedians.

I thought I would do something that's popular on the internet right now. It's been popular, when I say popular on the internet right now, I mean been popular. When I say people are popular on the internet right now, I mean, Is it pulling the pants down thing? Yeah, we're, yeah, good.

I'm gonna moon everybody. And when I say popular on the internet right now, you can pretty much assume I mean two years ago, and I'm just getting to it now, just like the Willow Smith song that I like, that I thought, wow, she's putting out some crazy experimental, this is awesome, new music.

And then it's like, at least 2014. Yeah. Britney Spears had more recent music than this particular, anyway. Oh, Britt Britt, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, dude, dude, dude, dude. Hey, Brit, Brit, what's going on? That's for her. She's free. Yeah, she's free. Well, she's free now. Anyway. So I thought we would do something.

Let's play a little game. I'll play a little game. I love games. Okay. Hey commercial breakers, best to all of you who have been leaving wonderful podcast reviews on your favorite podcast player, especially all those who are using Apple.

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I'm going to because I'm the dad. I'm going to say some dad jokes. I know I'm not your daddy, but I could be. Hey, crazy. Hey, Carl, let me daddy. Can you take me to some dad jokes? I'm afraid of the calendar because my days are numbered.

My wife and I said, my wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward. Mm. Are we playing this game? We're gonna play a game. Are you ready? Okay. Here we go.

This is the game. I'm gonna tell some dad jokes. I got a list of like 400 dad jokes. I'm gonna pick some dad jokes. I'm gonna tell them, if you laugh, I get a point. If I, if you don't laugh, I get a point. No, you just got two points then. She caught on quickly

Okay, okay, get a point either way. I do get a point either way. No, if you don't laugh you get a point Okay, you laugh. I get a point. Okay. All right, you ready? It's hard not to laugh at you. Let me just say I know a preface I know it's I always think you're funny Ryan and I love you So I'm laughing in my head if I'm not laughing. But I want to win this game. Yeah, are you ready? I want to win this game. I'm probably gonna laugh more than you are. I'm gonna give my laugh right now.

You're like, I went to a laughing yoga retreat one time. You did? It was ridiculous. You did? Yeah, but it worked. It worked. I walked in, it was like laughing hyenas.

And I was like, what the fuck is going on here? It's contagious. It's contagious. It got contagious and like I walked in. It was much like laughing hyenas and I was like what the fuck is going on here? It's contagious. It's contagious. It got contagious and then I started laughing. I was uncontrollably laughing and then everyone started crying. I was also crying. Funny how that works. Like the tears are coming. I played a win. So I know that I think you're funny as always. Okay. Thank you. All right. You ready? Okay, thank you. All right, you ready? Yes, joke number one, I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes Turns out it was the refrigerator all along I don't even understand that either do I have it is

Did I just laugh? No, let's get you No, you laughed at your own joke. You laughed at your follow-up joke. I was a gentleman, good joke. Ready? I just said I didn't understand it. How do you follow Will Smith and the snow? Just look for the fresh prints. That one's funny. All right, one in one. One in one. Here we go. You ready? What do you call a factory that makes okay products? Satisfactory. Okay. All right. Smiling. A letter to math. Deer math, grow up and solve your own problems. Okay, two and two, two and two. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Surprise! jumped out of the closet. Supplies. Oh. You're trying so hard. What did the ocean say to the beach when they met each other? Hello. Nothing, it just waved. Okay, I'm just jumping into the game.

Yeah. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don't know why. I can't go laughing, you're laughing. All right, four in three. Okay, four to Brian, three to you. What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner. Okay.

Uh, not laughing. Where do fruits go on vacation? Go straight. Pettis. Paris. Okay. Five to four. Coholy.

Five me. Five me. Five you. Yep. Where do boats go when they're sick? You're laughing. I can't help it. I'm not the one that's supposed to stop laughing. Where do boats go when they're sick?

I don't know. The boat dock. What? The boat dock. I guess you got to be a boat duck. What? The boat duck. I guess you got to be a boater. Oh, the duck. I guess you got to be a boater.

I didn't realize boating was going to be a requirement of the jokes. Okay, okay. Did you hear about the rumor? Did you hear the rumor about butter? Nope. Well, I'm not gonna spread it. I like to laugh, buddy. It's a lot of things. That was a good one. Okay, so it's five to five?

No, I'm ahead. Six to five? Okay, six to five, I think. Six to five. I think you're right about that. Okay, good. What did one hat say to the other hat? Stay right here, I'm going on a head. Stay right here, I'm going on a head.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, my grandpa would be proud. All right, six to six. Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? I don't know. He kept throwing away the bent ones. Nope, that wasn't. No.

I just see Billy in a dildo factory. Well, that one's broken. All right, I'll give you that one because you held out for a second. Seven to six, you. Dad, can you put my shoes on? Says the kid to the father? The father responds, no, I don't think they'll fit me.

All right, you can say, no you are. Let's see. Why can't a no? Clever. Clever. Some of them are. Why can't a no nose be 12 inches long? It's actually funny like when when your dad is saying do you? Yeah, but uh, yeah, just imagine I'm your daddy

Why can't a nose be 12 okay, what is it 7 to 6 year-ahead? Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? I don't know because then it would be a foot. It would be what? Then it would be a foot. Okay, seven, seven. Here we go. We'll pay the best of 15. Here we go. More subtracting people to 15. Oh, this is funny to them. Don't trust me. This is going over. This is funny to them. This is going over great. I think this is funny.

How do you make seven even? I don't know. You take away the S. That's pretty good. This is clever. They're the clever dogs. I didn't laugh at that one. Eight to seven.

How does a taco say grace? I don't know. Let us spray. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's not eight to eight. I think I'm winning. So it was seven to six. Oh, seven to seven. Now it's seven to seven. I'm sorry. You're right. No. I mean, I'm like nine to seven. I'm nine. You're seven. I've held out. Yeah, but I think you're only one ahead. I don't think you're two ahead if you're if you're ahead. Maybe it's nine to eight. Let's call it nine to eight. 98 let's call 98 cares cares playing for A check from the commercial break $7.26

Okay, let's let's pin it right here. We I shouldn't have brought a pen. That would have been helpful Okay, nine to eight best of 15 here comes the next joke of best of dad jokes. Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain? He didn't have the guts. Ha ha ha. 10 day. Okay. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A complete meltdown. Ha ha meltdown. That is good. Okay, 10 to 9. What 50 cent featuring nickel back. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What a guy looks into a bar, but he was disqualified from the limbo contest. What does that mean?

He walked into the limbo bar. I love it counts if you don't understand it. The limbo bar, because you've walked into this before. Yes, I have. There have been no limbo contest in my life. Oh, I used to live in limbo. Oh really? Yeah. I can get low.

Can you? I can get low. Why do I believe that about you? I don't find that hard to believe. And I can do hulu hooping. Oh, hulu hooping school. Yeah, I was like the hulu hoop girls at the concert to fish you. No, I don't do it concerts.

Oh, you don't? You should do it at concerts. I have a good, I said. Yeah. Because the girls at the... Jump with love that. I go to Memphis. I'm a limbo.. Because the girls at the... Jeff would love that. Well, I go to Memphis. Yeah, I'm sure he would.

Woo! Yeah. It's already having a hard time. That poor guy. I was like the girl in the girls that shake down street when they're, you know, and I'm a little frothy and I'm just staring at these girls and they're like, if you can stop

on dressing me with your eyes, I'd appreciate it. And I'd be like, swing your hips more. Yeah. Oh God, who the hoop girls? When two vegans get into an argument, is it still called a beef? Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! That's a good one. That's 11. 11 to 11. 11 to 11. Do you want a box for your leftovers?

No, but I'll wrestle you for them No Okay, if a child refuses to nap are they guilty of resisting or rest? Okay 12 to 12 here we we go. Ready? Do you know, did you know that corduroy pillows are back in style? Yep, they're making headlines. I love you. 13 12. I used to play piano by ear, but my teacher said I'd be better by use my hands. Okay, 14-12. That was a good one.

I like that a cheeseburger walks into a bar the bartender says sorry. We don't serve food here My god you were gonna laugh Hold it until she was about to burst and I went Okay, okay you went good dad jokes there That's what she was about to burst and they go, I went. Okay. Okay, you win. Good dad jokes there. Daddy. Well, I was gonna tell a time traveling joke, but you didn't like it.

What? I was gonna tell a time traveling joke, but I know you weren't gonna like it. Oh my god. Oh my god. You get it? Yes. What's Forrest Gump's password? One Forrest One. That's ridiculous.

That's stupid. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Sandals. Low first. Oh my god. Low first. Ah. Ah. Oh my God, that is so good. I love these jokes. Hey, love them?

I wish they could go. Oh, you should leave them out. Oh, we've got, because you're dad. We've got 200 of these. You're a dad, so you're going to bust them out. What I'd love to do is I'd love to get someone on the commercial break. We'll see if Mary Ann wants to come.

Little laugh at them. Little laugh at them. Like, someone that wants to come. That'll laugh at them. That'll laugh at them. Like, someone that we don't pay, not laugh at them. Ha ha ha. Mary Ann. Mary Ann. Who's Mary Ann?

One of our super fans, Mary Ann. You have not told me about Mary Ann. Oh, Chrissy, I don't think you remember about Mary Ann because we've talked about Mary Ann before on air. And she is wonderful. She's the one who volunteered to put together the Johnny Depp Amber herd trial thing. Okay.

And she put a whole list together for me. We'll get to it. We'll get to it next time. I don't share these things with you. What are you talking about? It texts you 24 hours a day, and you're like, I think, oh, I just played the old song.

I think Chrissy's just like ignoring my text that night. She's like great, smiley face. You're like my wife. But then I text you all good and stuff too, and I don't hear back until later. I'm busy, I gotta show you today. I'm busy too. You're busy.

What are you busy doing? Is that mothering? You step mothering, you're in that mirror all day long. That's what's going on. I'm doing the mirror workout. I'm using you in the mirror verse. The mirror verse. That is a good one.

Yeah, Chris, he's got the workout mirror. I gotta work out mirror. Talk into her friends in the mirror. She's like, hey. I don't talk to anybody else, but I just do the workout. It's not live. It can be live.

You can do live classes. I haven't done that yet. I'm most on 200 classes Yeah, I've never done a live class. I'm nervous. Yeah, that's a little creepy Do you join a bunch of other people or is it just one other trainer? You know, I mean there's one trainer And it's like a hologram in the mirror and I do what she says to do and I work out Wow, I have weights and everything and I do it. But I'm nervous to do a live one. Yeah, I would be too. Because they can see me, because there's a camera,

but I close the camera off. Yeah. I don't want people zooming in. Sure. But anyways, I can have the camera option and they can see me. And then they might critique my form though. No, no, no. Don't worry, don't worry.

That's a four-ish form. Yeah, working out no, don't worry, don't. That's, that's it. Forish more. Yeah, working out, having sex, like, you know, a sexual serage, a working out trainer that zooms into your home, all that stuff seems a little too creepy to me. I don't wanna be in the metaverse. I don't wanna take the class. I don't want my real body in the metaverse.

I want my pretend body in the metaverse. The one that looks good. The one that's 10 pounds lighter and much more buff That's what I want to do. Hey, I want to say one thing kids in the hall has a brand new season on Amazon I love and I am telling you no bullshit. This is funnier than the original And it's not like in a comeback way. It's not like a pretend. Oh my gosh. They came back and they made a you know Seven episodes that suck, but we love them so much if you are into kids in the hall Which you should be if you're not go watch the new season of kids in the hall

It is blaringly funny and not in a we did it again way in a original way so good And now they don't have the constraints of television like so now they can be so much more graphic and funny and say swear words and nudity dad Dad jokes. There are penises within two minutes of the episode. Penises, live penises. Live? Within the episode. There are the kids in the hall penises.

They show their penises within like two minutes of the first episode. Okay. I mean, I don't want to get into all the details because I don't want to spoil it for you. But kids in the hall. Like, you can't just do it. Well, fuck off

Care yeah, you fuck off Brian walks into the commercial break studios as well you fuck off Brian walks into a hearty says I like a double bubble shoot burger. Uh-huh. The old man says We close at 11 You're like I've got kids and I need to get away. I've got kids and yeah We got to go check this out. We close at 11. You're like, I've got kids and I need to get away. I've got kids and yeah, I've got more kids than I know what to do with. You're there and I'm picturing you there

in the Hardee's Park and not watching. Oh, watch, yeah, that's it. It's double bubble shipper. And smoking a ball. Praying for a heart attack. Oh my God, we're all in trouble. We're all going out. We're all going out. Uh, okay I don't know go to tcbpodcast.com all the video all the audio is right there at one location You don't have to go anywhere else you can go right to the website if you'd like to send us a text message or leave us a voice mail do so at 6661-237-8296. That's 6661. The word best, the number 2-Y-O-Y-O.

And, you know, comments. Just why-O. Just why-O. Not why-O-Y-O-U. Just why-O. Best 2-Y-O. You can send us show ideas, comments, questions, concerns, whatever you got. Please do send us show ideas. Yeah, oh my god. We can use show ideas more than you know. I mean, I got a whole list of them, but trust me, I run out of them so quick, I gotta keep on going. It's a never ending bucket, I've got to fill, and it's hard to do that, and stay original.

I mean, I could just, I guess I could just, I've used that stuff. You have? Yeah. But anyway, send us show ideas and then go to Instagram at the commercial break YouTube YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Please subscribe, like on the videos, comment, and if you would, leave us a podcast review or comment

rating review, whatever they call it on your favorite podcast player. We're just catching up on that. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for all of the kind reviews. Leave us one of those on your favorite podcast player. And one more thing. URL, specialize URLs or codes from our sponsors.

Please use them. Thank you so much to all the people who have. We really would appreciate it if you are in the market for their products or services. Go ahead and use those codes and those URLs because it tells our sponsors we're doing a great job and that means we get to create more free content for you. We gave you a choice to pay for it.

You decided no, so now we're stuffing our show for the commercials, so fuck you. We gave you the option, you said no and we said, we'll take that, here's 12 minutes of commercials every hour. Okay, I say Chrissy, there's so much I can do at a day. I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you right? Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, love each other. Stay cool and Rev down. Rev down. Don't rev up. Rev down. And until next time, Chrissy and I say,

we always say we do say, bye! Bye! I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say you