The Commercial Break - All.Day.Long!

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

Bryan and Krissy review the worst commercial song ever, T.V. dating shows and listen to 1st date advice from the world's most clueless love coach. Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO ([phone]) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Facebook Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, this next and final song is going to be one that has made me pretty famous over the last few years. It has took me a lot of places I didn't think I would be at, but it was the first time on stage, New Year's Eve 2002. Ever since then, we've had competitions of Wario Mout. Not to make me look good or anything, but that's what happened. It's called Looking for a city built above Looking for a city Where I'll never die Where the same in millions Never say goodbye

There will meet our say-broard And the love with you Come, I'll holy spirit And the love with you Come, I holy spirit Horror home treating Looking for a city Where I've never died Well, this next and final song

is going to be one that has made me pretty famous over the last few years Pretty famous. On this episode of the commercial break. Sounds like an emo song from the 90s. Sounds like, like, dashboard confessional or something. Wow! Wow! It's the other oatmeal. like dashboard confessional or something. Wow, wow. It's the other, it's like a business.

But with those sales, I built a company with that sales. Wow, wow, the rep is ass in my house! Wow! Wow! My wife married a two-boy! Yeah, I've been into it since the Sim Cole FM days. Yeah. Do you remember Sim Cole FM? Yes, I do.

My successful streaming radio station. I was on it. Yeah, I can. That's true. My friend, Kami, was your co-host. Yeah. Funded by oil. By big oil. Two-story. That's true My friend camey was your girlfriend funded by oil By big oil Or funded by bullshit, I'm not sure which one how it all went down. Yeah, that's anyway

Are those boot do you know the band? Yeah? Not really of course I did Yeah, of course I do I Yeah! Of course I do. I'm gonna get front stage. Did you mean back stage? No, I mean front stage. I got front stage passes. I got front stage passes. Hey, man, you pass out these flowers and we're your front stage passes.

Oh, day. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, da da da da da da da da not as good. I'm Brian Green. This is Chrissy. Holy hand Happy New Year Happy New Year, Brian. Happy New Year, Chrissy. It seems like a whole our whole year is a hell of a Yeah, that's all we got ahead of us is time money energy and effort. Yeah, well, I got at least one of those things. I'm not sure I don't know if I have any time. That's the thing about life. You don't know how much time you have left.

Sure. So why not waste it here in this studio, talking to you, find people out there. Yeah. W-W-W-W. It's basically us talking to each other, laughing. That's true. We don't have a ton of interaction.

Going, I mean, we don't have any interaction in the studio. But that's why it's going to be a good idea, idea I think to take the clubhouse and do an episode yeah bonus episode we'll still do the regular episode from the studio but then do a bonus episode where we record live and give people the opportunity to jump up and talk to us yeah ask us anything yeah and I you know I'm sure we're gonna get a couple haters that's okay we'll roll with it yeah and not everyone and we're not everyone you know you've made it when you've got haters. Couple potato soup. When people are hate listening, that's when you really know you've made it.

So go to tcbpodcast.com, tcbpodcast.com, and you can listen to all the episodes. You can see all the episodes that are on YouTube, subscribe to YouTube if you care to do so. At the commercial break on Instagram, you can follow Chrissy and I on Clubhouse. If you're there at Brian Greenbeer, Y-A-N-G-R-E-N, at Chrissy, T-C-V Chrissy, that's what the K-R-I-S-S-Y. And then follow us and you'll be notified when we're getting ready to do those live episodes recorded on Clubhouse, which is just a fantastic application. I've been spending a lot of time on it. Yeah, it's a match made in heaven I think podcasting in clubhouse. I think the two go they're like, you know bread and butter and if you need it invite hot dog Some extras hot dog and bun hot dog and chachy and jony

Do you know who chachy and jony were mm-hmm who are they? well they from Happy days Monday to days Thursday Friday Well, they from um Happy days. Happy days. Monday, Tuesday. Happy days. Thursday, Friday. Happy days. Saturday. Saturday.

Saturday. Sunday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday.

Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. These sap days are yours and mine happy days. Yeah, yeah, or everyone was a virgin and

People except for the fonts. Oh, well, we didn't know he never really said it But you could just tell by what he was packing in those tight jeans The ladies were all over him. He'd swing those hips and hit that jukebox and the girls I'm wet in my knickers. You can't talk like that Jackie Weaver. Read the rules. Read the rules, Jackie Weaver. In case you missed it, you can go back and listen to the last episode where

Chrissy and I dissected a Zoom call for hands mouth or hands port or hands worth or whatever it was about, hands something in England and they got a town hall or council town council whatever meeting together and Jackie Weaver who was leading the meeting was just ruthless and that everyone was like you can't do that Jackie Weaver. You can't just throw people out Jackie Weaver. People were mad from the start. Yeah, they were angry. Jackie, I know.

I hate interacting. Or Jackie Weaver. What does she ever do to anybody except if everybody off the Zoom call? or angry Jackie about hate watching. I know. I hate interacting. Poor Jackie Weaver. What does she ever do to anybody except if I kick everybody off the Zoom call? I got you. Right Lisa. Right Lisa, Jackie Weaver.

I just like that name now. Jackie Weaver's a right bitch. Yes, me. So add the commercial break on Instagram. Be sure you follow us with a link tree there, which will connect to everything that you need to know. Our YouTube pages are Patreon.

And if you'd like to become a financial supporter of the Patreon, of the commercial break, if you'd like to become a financial supporter of the Patreon, which is true also, you'll also be paying Patreon. I would welcome that. Yeah, patreon.com slash the commercial break, extra episode every week,

invitations to our live events, first in line for tickets to our live shows, you are gonna get it all, but all you have to do is just pay us. You're gonna get it all. All you have to do is pay us for that. Did I do the job of- It's a cost of a cup of coffee. Yeah, it's a cost of a really expensive cup of coffee.

Yeah, one Starbucks. Maybe two coffee. Yeah, one Vinti cap of fucking whatever you drink cost of a really expensive cup of coffee. Yeah. One Starbucks. Yeah. One Vinti cap of fucking whatever you drink. And you're going to get all that stuff for free. Yeah. Well, not for free. You're going to pay for it.

Once you get a good job of explaining this, I feel like I've gone to the left here a little bit, I'm trying to convince people for a Patreon. So we just got over with the Super Bowl a couple of weeks ago, depending on when we're airing this. Yes. We just got over with the Super Bowl. And I of weeks ago, depending on when we're airing this. We just got over the Super Bowl, and I don't want to talk to the Super Bowl because I don't give a shit. But what I do want to talk about is,

it's boring. Oh man. Yeah, it's boring, and Tom Brady wins yet another Super Bowl is not necessarily to me. I mean, I don't give a shit. Like, I don't, the guy he has a million rings. Yeah, I mean, good for him. Like, I don't, the guy he has a million rings. Yeah, I mean, good for him. But do I really care?

No. I mean, I'm not a really a professional football guy. Anyway, I'd much rather watch college football. And neither of those teams I care about and I've never been like a Patriots fan or anything like that. I know who Tom Brady is. Good for him.

He's married to Giselle, good for her, two of the most beautiful people in the world and the richest people. You know, it's all a great situation to me, whatever. But I don't care. I didn't watch this year's Super Bowl, so there you go. But what I did do is I watched all of the commercials from the Super Bowl, and I found one, particularly disturbing.

And not disturbing in a way like, you know, there was anything crazy going on on the commercial. Actually, it was quite simple. It was a man in a field with a piano. Oh, yes. The only one. I was confused. I went up first never saw it. It's like milk made for you, mums.

It's like milk that made for you, mums. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Sounds like an emo wow. Wow. Wow. Sounds like an emo song from the 90s. Sounds like like dashboard confessional or something.

Wow, wow. It's the leather out milk. It's like a business. But with no sales. I built a company without sales Wow, wow, the repossessed in my house Wow, wow, my wife married the pool boy Fuck is this guy and why is he singing?

I don't know. No cow. No cow. No, no, no, wow. Wow, no cow. No, no, no, wow. Wow, wow, wow. It went from like bad to worse. It went from like dashboard confessions into like hollow notes.

Wow, wow, no, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I don't know who you are, Oatley Guy. And I happened to actually have a carton of your fucking milk in my refrigerator because my wife likes the oat milk. There's so many milks now. Yeah, there's so many milks, but this is just plain awful, dude.

I mean, I realize that sometimes awful gets just as much attention as good does. It actually probably gets more attention than good does because you know, you got guys like me playing this over and over again on my podcast and you know, somebody's gonna go look up the commercial, but what a disturbing commercial. And it's only 30 seconds long. So literally listen to this again. This is the actual commercial. I am not editing this in any way. I do not stop the commercial. This is the entire commercial. I am not editing this in any way. I do not stop the commercial. This is the entire commercial. Listen. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, I saw him. I saw him. I saw him. Who is the advertising genius? Who's the advertising genius? It was like, okay. I can imagine the guy from the CEO from Oatley is like,

listen, I know this sounds crazy, but back in the 90s, I was in my own band. I was in my own band. Called the miltods. That's how I came up with the name. That's how I came up with the whole thing. Okay, and we had this song. And I've just taken it,

and I've refrained it a little bit, and I can see the advertising executive is about to make this purchase order, and he's like, this is genius, John. This is genius. It's really genius. Can you play a little bit of us? Wow, wow, no cow.

And the guy's like, it's brilliant, but John, that song is 20 and a half minutes long. It's like a pink Floyd song. And then he goes, what are we gonna do? Let's just play it as long as it'll go. We'll just play it in 30 seconds. Just stop. Yeah.

Don't, don't fuck with us, John. John, make a song in 30 seconds long. Beginning, middle, end. That's it. Don't just stop halfway through. If you're gonna have a bad song, let's have the whole bad song, not half the bad song. Because it was just getting good if it was gonna be good

It was just getting good when you got into the holonotes version of it Yeah, when you went from dashboard conventional to holonotes you went from Three-year-old playing the piano to dashboard conventionals Confessionals No cow Then you got into the poppy you like you know here we go more time Melk Made for you

Man, see we were saying H did an H happen there. I don't think an H happening Melk It's like milk milk That's made for you Wow Wow No, no It's kind of growing on me. Yeah, it's, oh, listen, I'm gonna stop right now because then we're gonna be playing the Oatley song. I just gave four free Oatley commercials.

They've, he paid CBS $1 million to play the 30s and he's paying me nothing. And I'm just, but you see what I'm saying? Like if he's gonna go into the, you know, he's gonna get good, like let it get good. And you know, go ahead and spend the extra million bucks and buy the other 30 seconds. Yeah, that's what I say.

Or maybe he should have done the halftime show. No. Ha ha ha. Listen, it probably would have been more understandable than the weekends halfway show. I mean, a halftime show. That was, that was like a movie. It was like a weird, long music video. As far as I was going to teach you to watch it.

Yes. I did. I like the weekends music. I'm into it. I'm into it. I've been into it since the Sim Cole FM days. Yeah. Do you remember Sim Cole FM? Yes, I do. My successful streaming radio station. I'm into it. Yeah, I've been into it since the Sim Cole FM days. Yeah, do you remember Sim Cole FM? Yes, I do. My successful streaming radio station. I was on it. Yeah, that's true.

My friend, Kimmy, wish for code. Funded by oil. By big oil. Two-story. That's right. That's true story. Or funded by bullshit. I'm not sure which one how it all went down. Yeah, that's anyway. Have you have you been watching the bachelor? Yes, I have. I caught up. What are your thoughts? Well, first of all, there's a reason I stopped watching it 10 years ago. Because it's formulaic. And it's the same reason that I'm hate watching it now. Oh, really? You're hate watching it. Yeah, it's there's something there's something sad about it with the Rose ceremonies and you just don't get picked. Like you're not

getting picked for a team. Ladies, you're not good enough. This is the final rose tonight. You're ready. Chris Harrison. Cheating every time you hear Chris Harrison go like this. Ladies, Sean, this is the final rose tonight. You ready? Get ready. Get ready. Get ready for what? Get ready to be done.

Yeah. Get ready to be ghosted. Yeah, I mean. But it is when these things where you want to know what happens. So if you do watch it, you can keep watching it. Yeah, you get involved in it. Now, it's extremely formulaic and there's a reason why it's formulaic is because they've figured out what works, right?

So there's always some lady who's going to leave and then come back or some guy depending on which version you're watching. They're always going to leave. They were kind of like hitting it off. They're going to come back, but they're not going to win. That doesn't happen. They're not the winners. They're just, they come back for a couple episodes and then, yeah.

Like a little agitation, a little drama. That's right. There's always the, there's always the, the mole. There's always someone who, who the producers put in there, who either, they know is mentally unstable and going to little drama. That's right. There's always the, there's always the, the mole. There's always someone who, who the producers put in there who either, they know as mentally unstable and going to cause drama. Yeah. Like this season, there's a woman on there that's extremely mentally. The queen.

Yeah. Is that what they call her the queen? I haven't watched all the episodes. I haven't watched all the episodes. Yeah, the queen. She is extraordinarily mentally unstable. Yeah. And it's so much so that I think that, so I think there's some years when they're mentally

unstable and the producers know it and pick them on purpose. And then there's some years when I actually think that they're act or some seasons, when I actually think their acts are act, yes, they have to be. There's no way they come in, nobody comes in acting like that. No one, no, listen, I know there are shit stores out there and there are people who make life miserable

for all those around them because they get high entertainment out of it, or because that's just the people that they are. But I find it hard to believe that the producers would, they would get past the producers' eye. Like, they wouldn't see that right off the back. You know they're making a conscious decision to do that. Absolutely. Well, because if you had just a bunch of normal people

sitting around, you know, going on dates, that's the drama in that? Yeah, and so it's always the same to me. Like they come in, there's obviously a few connections, you know, a few connections hit right off the bat. Every time they have one of these cocktail parties, there's someone's fighting for attention from someone else. Someone's always getting too much attention,

someone never got enough attention. Yeah. They're always having the same conversations. The girls are always talking with that fucking vocal fry, which I, I, you know, vocal fries. I, I, my dad and I had a big argument when I was 13. I had to go to therapy for 20 years. And then, oh, wow, I'm so glad you went deep with me tonight. Yeah, you're a

vulnerable. Yeah, you were vulnerable. And that's all I've been asking for this entire process. I came in here open and ready to find my wife. And all I wanted was someone to be vulnerable and open. And you did that tonight. You get a rose? You get a rose. Ladies, Sean, this is the final rose tonight. You ready? Every conversation is basically the same. Every time they get down and they sit down, they have an individual date. So those of you that not seen the show,

there's a reason why it's the most popular show on television. And I know I'm not the only guy out there watching this show. There's whole like guy watching parties that guys have. Yeah. 20 years, 25 years, something like that. 25 seasons. So I think, yeah, 25 seasons. So I think it's been close to 20 years. But 20 guys or 20 girls walk into the room. There's one bachelor, bachelor at, they tend to be, you know, people that are promoted heavily. They're very good looking human beings.

And they're looking for their husband or wife. Quote unquote, the whole point at the end of the show is to get engaged. But they eliminate people as they go along and how they eliminate them is they give the ones they wanna keep a rose and the ones who don't get a rose then get asked to leave the show. Right off the bat, they eliminate like seven of them,

like the first episode, seven people go. And then the next episode, another seven people go. So by the time you get to episode number five, the seasons are rather short, you get to episode number five, there's only like five or seven people go. And then the next episode, another seven people go. So by the time you get to episode number five, the seasons are rather short. You get to episode number five, there's only like five or six people left. When you get to three or four, depending on which season it is, then you get what's called the,

what is it called? The hometowns. The hometowns where you go and you meet the families, but then you get the overnight stays, which are the, what are they called, the bachelor pad or something? I don't know what it's called, but they give them the key to the honeymoon suite, essentially, and they say's called. But they give them the key to the honeymoon

suite essentially and they say, you know, they give them the choice. Hey, if you want to go and so one girl, one time, she got plowed by all three bachelors in one night. What? Yeah. What was her name? The one with the pilot Pete or whatever it was. Do you remember her? Oh, you didn't want it. No, I haven't watched it. This is the first time I'm watching it. It's the same bullshit. They go out on these group dates, which is all of them going on a date together. And they do some kind of like physical activity that has nothing no bearing on love or relationships whatsoever.

Yeah, there was one. Yeah, he's like chopping wood. Oh yeah, he's chopping wood. Oh yeah, he's chopping wood on. Being healthy is important to me. I'm really self-aware and I'm very health conscious. I want my wife, I want my wife to be aware of her body too. So I've decided to take her out in the woods today,

chop some wood, oiled up with some Vaseline, and if you could get some close-ups of my nipples, I'd appreciate it. You think this incredibly handsome black guy is just like, you know, it's fit is a fiddle, right? Oh yeah. Just like me, fit is a fiddle. Yeah.

Same body type right here. You guys can be twins. Same body type right here. You guys can be twins. The same body type right here. So, so then, you know, he's out in the woods, he's chopping wood and then go to girls chopping wood, chopping wood literally. And then they go and they have dinner. And when they have dinner, it's the same fucking conversation every time. Just listen, just listen, hold it, here's how the conversation goes.

I'm so glad I have an opportunity to spend this time with you tonight. You know, I've really wanted this the whole time. Well, thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate you picking me for this date. So tell me about yourself. Well, when I was two years old, I got an M&M stuck in my nose and the doctors had to take it out and just for the rest of my time, I had to have some therapy. It was a really traumatic experience.

Right. Yeah. They say the rest is like that and they have this tear in their throat. Right. And then every time without fail, the Bachelor of the Bachelor of the Ratt, thank you for being vulnerable. Yes. That's all I've asked for in this process is being vulnerable. That's it. And then there's always some drama maker like this, emotionally unstable one, right?

And there's always a sit down with the dramas, the people who are causing drama in the house, the Bachelor of the Bachelor at, I came here to find love, not for drama. And I've asked them to be transparent and vulnerable, and this is not what I want. And so they sit down with them, and they're, you know, they always ask them a bunch of questions, like, who started this?

I don't want anybody talking, you know, and then they're like, listen, this is not the way to my heart. I didn't ask for this. And without a doubt, every time. So let's say there's two people in the room that are making trouble, but one of them is really the trouble maker,

and the other one is just kind of happens to be like, one is bullying, and one is the person that's bullied. And they both go in the room for a sit-down chat with Chris Fucking Harrison and the Johnny Dan Bachelor and then guess who gets kicked off the show? The person who was bullied without fail every time. That's very true. The trouble maker always stays.

It's almost to the last episode, the trouble maker stays because they know that's the show. That's it, that's the show. The drama. Because true love is not that fucking interesting, like you know what I'm saying? So fun fact on this whole series is that one of the major producers of this

is Heidi Fleiss's brother. And I went to her house when I first heard her. Heidi Fleiss, the prostitute, the madam. Well, I think she was turning the tricks herself too. His name is Mike Flice. Michael Flice. Uh-huh, and wow. If you watched the match, you'll see him listed at the end

and I went to a party to sell some of the stuff. Did you really? Yeah, my best would've been like a bunch of tail just hanging around there. Was it just like a scene out of a movie? Yeah, I had this beautiful view of the, I think we were in Malibu or something. Oh, wow, man'm not as gorgeous.

It was crazy. Wow. So yeah. How did you get hooked up with? My best friend lived out there. Oh, Mary. Yeah, okay. All right.

And she met him and then you guys, well, it was the friend of a friend and we got invited to the party and yeah. Did they ask you to be on the bachelor? No. Thank God, I would never be on that show. Would you have met Jeff on the bat? Like if you had walked into it,

if you were the bachelor at or Jeff was the bachelor, would the two of you have connected, do you think? I think so. You'd like to think so. I would like to think so. But it's hard. It's so weird on there. I mean, it's just, it's so weird.

You're just a weird situation. It's a totally serious situation. And I wish the best. I wish the best and wish love, like a care bear heart, heart, beaming. But do you actually like, do you actually think that these people are falling in love with each other? I think it's happened sometimes, right? Like the last season, the bats LaRette didn't even make it through episode number one, and she was already hooking up with some, they already went off the set.

But my thought is, is that if you put 20 women in a room, even if Astrid was one of them, I think it would be really hard to figure out in a short, truncated amount of time, who your soulmate is. That's, you groomed that shit over years, right? You put a bunch of beautiful women in a room, and it's just like throwing darts at the dart board.

I mean, you're just looking to hit something. Yeah. I'm so disin' fucking generous, and then they all say they wanna get, you you know, I want to get ready to settle down. I want to get engaged. Meanwhile, none of them, not one of them has stayed together. Yeah. Raid the rules, Jackie Weaver. You can't just date everybody. I started the rule book, Jackie Weaver.

Well, it's the king of be a cat. Hi, judge. It's me. I'm not to proceed. I'm ready to proceed. I'm wide. I'm not a cat. So, but I do have to say that I am addicted to kind of the dating show, like all the dating shows, I am addicted to them. So I go through things. Well, the 90 day fiance that you got me going to have that was crazy. So I decided, listen, I think I don't know what But 90 day fiance that you got me going to have that. 90 day fiance. So I decided, listen, I think during the pandemic, I've kind of watched

all the dating shows, the current ones that I'm interested in, right? So I decided, let me go back and look at some of the ones that got me started in dating shows altogether. And one of the shows that I am very fond of watching right now on YouTube, and they have 2,600 episodes. So I think I could be watching these forever and never see the same one twice. Is the love connection. Do you remember the love connections back in the 80s? We'll be back in two and two.

Chuck Wollard. Yeah, it was a fucking shit bag now by the way. Total shit bag. But anyway, that's a point. It's really disappointing. But that's a different conversation for a different day. But you remember the love connection? It was great. Tt-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- at five days a week, this show would be on. And here it is, a 30-minute show. So it's real quick.

Basically, man and three women or woman and three men would be put together. The man or the woman would pick somebody to go out and a blind date with, or they would allow the audience to choose somebody to go on a blind date with. So it would work either way, right? And so they would basically give like a,

the guy would watch some of these videotapes and you'd say, I know. This video's are funny too. I know the videos are all there. So the guy would say, I want to go out with, you know, this number two, right? And so they'd go on a blind date. And then a couple of weeks later, they'd come back to the show and they would be asked to give their version of what happened. Now, yeah, that's right. About 50% of the time it went well, about 50% of the time was a shit show. And the funny, the crazy thing about the love connection when I watch it now is when they were going on these dates, they were picking each other up from their houses.

Yes. You would never do that in the year 2000 and turn anyone, never would you allow a person that you don't know to show up at your house. They'd like to show up at the house, they get changed, they go to the beach, and then they get changed at their house. That's right. You go to jail if you ask somebody to come back to your house and change these days.

I mean, the dating rules are completely, it's funny how backwards we have become so quickly. People were trusting back then, they just come over to my house, pick me up, we'll have a couple of glasses of wine, and then we'll go out. This is back when you would actually have like a date that would last the day, instead of a date

that lasts 15 minutes and then, you know, you'd go to them while they, they pay the bill, right? It's the true. It's like, you have no fucking chance these days. I mean, listen, I have, I have some friends, I have some close people to me that are still, that are not still single, but are single. And they're going through the gamut.

They're going on like three or four dates a week. Yes. And it's just a nice quick, fucking stories that are happening. Well, the culture is so now ingrained in instant, instant, instant. Yeah, it's like you're swiping left and real life. It's like if you don't like somebody, the girl will leave before she even finishes the first cocktail. Should I go to the bathroom?

I'll be right back. And then they never come back. And they're like, I fuck it. Don't worry about, you know, whatever. I just go to the bathroom, I'll be right back. And then they never come back. And they're like, I fuck it, don't worry about it. Whatever, I just got ghosted. I didn't know that. You got ghost. You got ghost. That's so crazy to me.

I can't imagine not at least giving somebody a drink worth of conversation. Or maybe even a night. It's like a meal. Yeah. Something like that. So this is a whole blind date show. But they did have their creepy people too

Listen to this. This is this is just the introduction. I'm not gonna play the whole show Quite frankly some of it is visual and so it's really hard to translate but listen This is it's been this reading signals and has had to slow down lately And he claims that his part time job is a great way to beat women. Please welcome Ray Bennett. Ray Bennett. Ray Bennett, by the way, has a rat tail. Like they were back in the 80s.

He's about five foot one. He weighs nothing, right? He comes out with an over, like a shirt that's seven sizes too big for him. Stonewash jeans with a big belt that's pulled up to his chest and boots that are untied and and he's just like you know workman boots. He's a character. So this So you have this great job that helps you meet women. Yeah, are you a bartender or a disjocke or a what? Better, better. No, better.

I'm part time, I promote for rock and roll bands on the Sunset Strip. And I just have the option of just meeting women. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've heard that one before. By the way, what is promoting bands part time on the Sunstrip set? Sunstrip just sets trippity.

Tiki-Tiki-Tiki-Nas-Niki-Six. Yeah, probably. He's probably getting texts from Nixie-Six, too. Nixie-Six, too. I think promoting bands, and it's, it bears out, but my personal opinion is promoting bands on the Sunstrip means you're handing out flyers for free tickets Yeah, right. I love it promoting rock and roll bands on the Sunset strip. Yeah, you know I can Rezards or places like what are the Kazaris the Trubid door the rocks

Fliars Facing out flyers. I'll be alone. Yeah. Passing out flyers. I heard that clip before, so I knew that that was coming, but even when I heard it the first time, I just looked at him and I thought the sunset strip back in 1984, you know, what you got is like it's a Tuesday afternoon and someone's about to play the 3 p.m. slot at the whiskey and go go where no one is. And then you want to pass these out and give you some free tickets to the show.

Oh, day. Oh, day. Oh, day. Oh, this is the clockiness of this. Day, well. Is he doing a snap, too? Yeah, he's good. He's cocking his head like, oh, day long.

He's got that head snap. But this is a little bit. Right tail flowing and the wind. Your right tail flowing in the wind. Never seen a dentist in his life life never seen a dentist not one time Have any of these women that you've met ever turned into a serious relationship? Or is it all just kind of superficial? It's it's it's superficial, but gonna tell you it's if I've had like 40 50 like one night stands By the way, no, he has not.

Those are called prostitutes. When you pay for them, they're not one nightstands. They're hookers. Just meeting these women on a strip. Listen to the audience. The audience doesn't even know what to make of this guy, because he's coming up and he's like, I've had 40 or 50s. One nightstand.

Just pass an out of fly. Dude, that's all you have to do. Yeah, me, you know one night stand just passing out fly When I start passing out flyers on the sun Is that a flyer to this no, I'm gonna suck your dick Here's about the show I don't care about this show You're the you're the five foot one man. I've always wanted. Are those boots? Do you know the band? Yeah.

Not really. Of course I do. Yeah! Of course I do. I can you get me in. I'm gonna get front stage. Did you mean back stage? No, I mean front stage. I got front stage passes. I got front stage passes. Hey, man, you pass out these flowers and we I got front stage passes. I got front stage passes. I got front stage passes. Hey, man, you passed out these bars, and we have front stage passes.

Oh, they. Wow. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Hey, you want to go see China's milk with, you know, a mother-tit bone later on. No, but I want to take you like a tiger. What are you? What are you? Four foot nine. When's the last time you watched that hair? A month ago, I love you. Do you own a toothbrush? I want to suck your dick. Do you even have a shower, you live?

Yeah, or Ray is a kind of guy who takes advantage of women. Like I can get you a free ticket if you set my dick. That's probably more like what's happening. I want to ask you to define that. I just have to take your work and you say you had to slow down. Yeah, usually because I'm usually because of the Climidia. Usually because of herpes, but you know, just a little while. Yeah, I just take a break. I just take a break. Pass out less flowers. Well, he's only doing part time. He's only doing part time. What's he doing the other part time? I got a guess. He's only doing part time. What do you do in the other part time? I got a guess. It's probably taking penicillin. It's probably living with his mom. Yes.

With these women, I'm usually a very aggressive person, but I usually now, over the years, I'll let them do the initiating because, you know, I've been slapped like a couple of times, it's like, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well's like, well, well, well, well, well, well. That is an 80's term all day long. Well, well, well, well. Oh, they, wow. Yeah. Hey, baby, it's me, Ray, the part-time hater outer. Do you want to go to the whiskey at Go Go tonight? Actually, it's not for tonight. It's a furry.

The electric butterfly. Actually, it's not for tonight. The electric butterfly. That's it. It's not for today. It's, it's, they're going, they're all on their show. They're on right now. It's 9 o'clock in the morning. I know. That's it. But I know these guys, they're super great. Do you want to go? No, I'm not doing butterfly.

But listen, before you do, would you mind sucking my dick? WAMMO, WAMMO! I had to slow down. I was getting arrested too much. would you mind sucking my dick? WAMmo, WAMmo! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA front stage passes. Oh my God. And they're sitting there. I go, what'd you do that for? He goes, I'm not ready for. He, but did you notice that he said he, he said he, he said, what, what are you doing? That's what he said. I'm wondering if Ray maybe swings both way. Hey, listen, with a guy like Ray. Well, there's so much to go around. He's just getting ahead. He's getting ahead all day long. You never know I mean guy girl. What does it matter? It's the king and eighties It doesn't yeah little comedian ever kill anybody for it's just like killing and then do initiating

Oh, Ray man, so anyway love connection. Well, how does it they make a love connection? Array? You know here's the funny thing So I thought this is just I mean if I was that show, I would be like specifically do not match me. I do not, yeah. I do not want to. I'm not ready. I just put on the, in my video, I'd be like, I like long walks on the beach, great dinners, wonderful conversation, anybody but ready.

Yeah, nobody like me. Yeah, please minus the cat tails. Uh, what are the cat tails? Rat tails. Rat tails. By the way, I had a little tiny, like, Rat tails were a thing. And for those of you that don't know,

you know, because they're back in style almost now, right? Rat tails are just this little strand of hair that would hang on in the back. But some people like made them like really long, and you know, but then they have shaved on the side. So it looked strange. Anyway, it was a thing back in the 80s. People loved Rat tails.

I mean, these kids were running around with rat tails all over the place. So I thought I'd get a rat tail, right? So my mom was, my dad was like, no, but my mom was like, I'll let you grow it out just a little bit. So it was like an inch or an inch and a half long. And I even at that age, even at eight, I was like, uh, I think I'll pass on the rat tail. It's not a good look. No, it's not a good look. So have you been on the blind date? You've never been on a blind date. I think you mentioned this in another conversation. Yeah, no, I haven't.

I have been on three blind dates, all associated with the application Tinder. Uh-huh. And they were. Well, is that a blind date if you're going, if you're actually picking each other? Well, when you go to a blind date when somebody else sets you up?

No, I think, well, I guess you can't set yourself up on a blind date. I go to go and find a. Unless it's like a blind person then you know then you're truly going on a blind date but now I guess you're right about that but. Well I mean listen untender the person I never met and had very little interaction with the first place. And all three of them were train. All day long. The person you hadn't met before. The person I had never met. Okay. And had very little interaction with in the first place. Right. And all three of them were trainwrecked. All day long. All day long.

And so you can go back and listen to, there's episodes where I talk about it, but one of them ended up in a tree. Oh, that's right, yep. And the other one we got kicked out of a bar because she was trying to follow me into the bathroom to have sex. But so I was, then I decided,

let me flirt around the internet and see what the kids are up to these days. What's good blind dating advice? And I found this guy named Matt Hussie, is his name. Oh, Mr. Hussie. Mr. Hussie. Oh, they... I do the client.

I do the client. He gives some dating advice to the kids, and I want... I just want to listen to you to listen to how horrible... I think you're going to agree with me on this. He sounds serious. He sounds like he knows what the fuck he's talking about, but I actually think he's making the shit up as he goes along. You ready? Yeah. Here's, here's, there's three piece of advice he gives people to make dating go smoother. Here's

number one. I have three quick ways for you to do this. The first one is touch early and often. Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, the fuck are you talking about? You don't go walk in. I, listen, I understand maybe what he's talking about is that a way of flirting. Touch on the arm. Touch on the leg. No, no leg, touch. In the vagina. No, no, no, no, that's not what I mean.

Because I can see that. The face touching hair touching, it really honestly, which is only the arm. Yeah, arm. That's it. Front, the forearm. Yeah, or maybe if you like things are getting, like you know that there's a connection there,

maybe the back, right? Yes. Maybe, or maybe the back, like if you're walking together, the forearm. Or maybe if you like, things are getting, like you know that there's a connection there, maybe the back, right? Yes. Maybe. Or maybe the back, like if you're walking together, the back. Maybe. Maybe you want to grab hands. But here's the fucking thing.

Don't touch early and often. That's a fucking really bad idea. Yeah, you don't know who this person is, and you're creeping them out by touching them all over the place. I don't care what you look, well, maybe it has to do something. Maybe if you're, you can touch me all you want. But if you look like me, you don't touch me around, Vival. I have three quick ways for has to do something. Maybe if you're high, you can touch me all you want. But if you look like me, you don't go touching around people.

I have three quick ways for you to do this. The first one is touch early and often. Now, what most people do, the mistake they make, is they say, I don't know this person very well. And I certainly don't want to seem too keen. So I'm not going to get very hacked on this person. Most people are right. Most people are right.

That's a good. Yeah, that's a good, yeah. you've got a good head on your shoulders. If you think that. Yeah, I believe it before introducing touch, the more awkward touch becomes. So now, I mean, for a guy, the most painstaking, horrible scenario is when you've barely touched the woman throughout the entire day.

That's the most painful thing that you can do in a date is when you go to kiss her and you haven't even had your hand in her vagina. Yeah, yeah, you haven't even made inappropriate. That's right. When you haven't even seen a nipples and now you're expected to give her kiss. It's really quite frankly. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. You can't just do that, Jackie Weaver. You can't just kiss without touching my balls first. Rain the rules, Jackie Weaver. That's very painful.

Here's a bite. Here's a bite. Do you see where Matt's giving horrible advice here? Yeah. He's asking people to basically assault people before they even know who they are. And a perfect thing is don't sit opposite each other. So don't be in the middle. No.

This makes, to me, it makes no fucking sense. Is he condoning sitting on the same side of a boot? He's condoning sitting on the same side of the boot. No, I don't even do that with Jeff. I don't do it with Astrid. I mean, on occasion, I do it with Astrid. Like if there's a TV or we want to watch something or if we're like having an amorous moment, maybe.

Ha ha ha ha. Oh baby, slide it. want to watch something or if you know forget if we're like you know having an an amorous moment maybe uh baby slide over baby can I touch you early and often yes slide on over this is the most listen to this just listen listen listen to the 45 second don't sit opposite each other so don't be in that place where you go for a meal or even when you're at a table at a bar and you sit completely opposite each other facing each other, facing each other like it's a mirror reflection. Immediately you end up creating awkwardness because of course when there's a silence there's nowhere for you to look. When someone's directly in front of

them and there's a silence. First of all like, oh you get me. No, no, no, so much time you're going to have to be, well first of all I would never allow that. I would never even allow it if someone tried to sit next to me like, yeah. I don't care how hot you are. I would just be like, I would never allow that. I would never even allow it if someone tried to sit next to me. I wouldn't, I don't care how hot you are. I would just be like, I don't want to turn my, I'm going to get a crick in my neck. Yeah. I'm going to get a crick in my neck. I've got a bad back and I don't,

I don't, I don't, I don't know. Second of all. He's saying that if you have an awkward silence when you're staring at each other, then that's a bad thing. It's awkward. But if you have an awkward silence when you're staring, I think there's going to create awkward silence, when you're staring, I think there's gonna create

awkward silence is when you're staring out. And so listen. Talk about awkwardness. Just keep sitting next to that person and they've got their hands all over you. Yeah. I mean. They've got their hand up your dress.

They're sitting next to you. He's asking someone to finger bang here on the same side of the page. The first second they meet you. Look anywhere. In order to actually create this moment of why I'm distracted, you can look at your phone, but then that seems rude. You can't look over his shoulder or to your left, whereas if you're sitting either adjacent to someone or next to them in like a park bench style, you're a man.

Watch the world together. It's almost like your people watch park bench style. Matt, Matt. Park bench style. Park bench style, okay. What are you sitting at like a park? I'd like to touch you early at all. That's a third piece of advice. It's to go outside if you're if you're painfully shy. What if you're at like a four corner table? What do you do just slide right in next to him? The awkward silence is going to be there regardless of you're sitting next to them. I mean, quick. There's plenty of things that can fill up 45 minutes worth of a dinner together. Plenty. Plenty. Where do you come

from? Right some questions down. Absolutely. I have never. I have never. I have never thought about this. It's, you know. But I think you and I are blessed in one way. And that is, we never are at a loss for words. We never run out of things to say. That is true. Yeah, let me just look at our podcast, our 48 episodes in and I'm still going. Here's number three, which I think is quite frankly,

just like the guy singing on the cake. This is, I can understand how some people who actually are having trouble in their dating life would take this advice and think that this is good advice. No, no, no. Don't sit next to somebody. Do not touch them early and often. When you are starting to receive the social cues,

that flirtation is going on, that's when you touch. And that shouldn't be at first. That should be way down the line. Like an hour or two or six drinks in. That's when, and a touch, like a touch on the shoulder, a touch on the back, a touch on the arm, not anywhere else. Not anywhere else. The other places are no-go zones.

Me, my toe. Yeah, and when it's time to kiss at the end of the date, you'll know if you're toe. Can I lick your feet? Hi, my name's Brian. I'm your divine date. Can I lick your feet? Awkward silence.

Matt Hussie told me to touch. Awkward silence. Matt Hussie told me to touch. Awkward silence. If you want to create awkward silence, touch early and often. Touch early and often. That's the worst dating advisor I ever heard. Do something that involves you actually having some level of external focus. And I'm going to say this bluntly, the worse you are at conversation, the more external focus you need. No.

No, Matt. The worse you are at external conversation, the less you should be dating, right? If you can't talk externally. Yeah. Yeah, you shouldn't, let me keep going. Do something that involves you actually having some level of external focus. And I'm going to say this bluntly, the worse you are at conversation,

the more external focus you need. So, if you're amazing at conversation, you can take someone into the corner of a quiet bar and you can talk all night and create this amazing connection through your conversation. If you're someone who's a little more nervous and you know that it takes you a little while to warm up, you have to do something with his external activity.

Now, that might be something on the more extreme end of, say, a museum where there's tons of external activity or a comedy show where you're both focused on something outside of yourselves. Listen, that's not a date. If you go on a blind date and you take someone to a comedy show, that's not a date. That is you going to a show together with somebody. If you're going to go to a park bench so you don't have to stare someone in the eyes because that makes you uncomfortable. Parked like style. I know. Okay. Okay. Maybe I get that. Gangnam style. Yeah. Gangnam. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Ohvenger hunt separately. Hey, meet me in the park. I'll be the one that's wrenched.

I'll be the one ready to touch you early and often. A scavenger hunt separately. We're going to do a scavenger hunt for the next three to four hours. And when we meet back up, I'm going to touch you. We like each other. That's where it goes. I'm not good with conversation. Matt Hussie told me. Focus on something else besides you. The most ridiculous advice I've ever heard.

You got to learn how to speak. That's just the way that it is. You got to learn how to hold a conversation. I'm sorry. There's no two ways about it, but you're going to have to learn how to speak. That's where it goes. That's where it goes. There's plenty more. We'll take it into. That's where it goes. All right, as you know, there's plenty more.

We'll take it into another conversation. All day long. All day long. Love that guy. He's my favorite. What's his name? Tony. Ken.

Kenny? Todd. Tony? Teddy? That's sort of really. Tommy? DevinWW.tcp podcast is where you go to watch all the videos. Listen to all the audio episodes.

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And make sure you go to patreon.com slash the commercial break. We would just love it. If you would become a financial supporter of ours, it allows us to provide more content for you. And that's it. That's the only goal is to free us up a little bit So you know to do other things like make content and to touch early and off touch early and often and Avoid you avoid eye contact with you To avoid conversation awkward pauses and touch early enough You can't do that chucky we've

conversation, awkward pauses and touch early and often. You can't do that, Jackie Weaver! Jackie Weaver. You can't just go on a date and not talk to somebody. Read the rules, Jackie Weaver. Until next time, I love you. I love you. Bye! can now be found on Patreon at patreon.com slash the commercial break. New episodes are available on YouTube every Tuesday.

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