The Commercial Break - Ask TCB: Mr Pickles!

Episode Date: August 14, 2026

EP954: After a long absence from the show, ASK TCB is back! And it gets weird. A naked man in the window, A dog named Mr Pickles and bathroom breaks that serve as meditation. All coming up...on this episode of TCB!  TCB is a The Commercial Break LLC production Visit: www.TCBpodcast.com Insta: @thecommercialbreakBryan Green on Insta: @BryanWGreen Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Created by: Bryan Green Written by: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley Produced by: Astrid Green & Gustavo  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On this episode of the commercial break. My dog has apparently been cheating on us. We found out he's been sneaking through a hole in a fence and spending afternoons with an elderly couple, three houses down the street. When you told your story the other day about Blue always being in the neighbor's yard, it made me think of this, only we actually like our dog. Okay, smart ass. They feed him steak

They bought him a dog bed And they have renamed him What? Okay His real name is Cooper And they are calling him Mr. Pickles Mr. Peckles The next episode of the commercial break

Starts now Oh yeah, cats and kittens Welcome back to the commercial break Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show. Chris is Joy Holtley. Best to you, Chris. I'm best to you, Brian. Best to you out there on the podcast and streaming audience. Thanks for joining us today.

We really appreciate it. What was it called? Dania Point. Dania Point Improv. That's right. Long missed days of our youth, Chrissy. We came up with a whole thing. We had a whole schticked.

We were going to do a whole thing. I think we even practiced it one time. We were like thinking about this. We had some thoughts. We had some thoughts. Hindsight. I'm glad we didn't go through with it. But, you know, I think it would have been a thing that people probably would have remembered.

Maybe not fondly, but definitely would have remembered. That is for sure, Chrissy. That is for sure. All right, well, here we are. I think I have a couple of ASTCBs. You want me to... I say we go for them. Let's go for it.

Let me see. I put these into chat simply, simply to protect the name. and faces. So I asked it to rip out any identifying information. I don't want you to come back and sue me. We don't have great insurance here. Do we have insurance here? I don't even know if we have insurance here. Somebody was asking me the other day. Do you have E&O insurance? And I'm like, uh, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Let me ask Guy Co. Let me ask the general. The general is where I get my insurance. Hey, I know somebody with that general coverage and they pay it very little. However, with my two super speeder tickets in less than a day, that I'm not going to get good coverage.

Okay, here we go. Brian and Chrissy. I'm not even going to, well, let's make up a name. This is Sherry. Sherry. Hey, Sherry. Hey, Sherry. Hey, Brian and Chrissy. Love the show. Longtime listener, Big fan. But my neighbor across the street. street walks around his house completely naked, just like you were talking about. A couple of weeks ago, Brian, it's constant. The curtains wide open, morning coffee, naked, vacuuming, naked. Once I saw him assembling IKEA furniture naked. Oh, no, no, prouts naked, which somehow felt a bit aggressive to me.

My wife, excuse me, my wife, I think she's married. My wife says, I need to stop looking at this man. It's becoming obsessive. I say he should put some curtains in the damn windows. At one point does his nudity become my problem, and am I legally allowed to request he wears pants? Well, I don't know what the legality of this is. I'm not a lawyer.

I just play one at work. I would share with you that I think it would be appropriate to paste a note on your window saying pants, question mark. Right? Did you forget those? Yeah, did you forget those? Like, if it's becoming such a problem, if you're living in New York, this is just the way of the world. I don't think there's much anybody can do about any of this.

I mean, unless they're being, yeah, unless they're being offensive about it, like, unless he's, like, you know, whack. Yeah, that's right. Unless he's humping the IKEA furniture. Or the window. Or the window, which would be, take a video, send it to us. Would be interesting. I don't think there's, I don't know what you can do about that. I don't think you can.

I think you put you put the curtains. I understand. Totally. But I understand the like kind of obsessively just checking to see if he's there and if he's close on. Yeah. I mean, oh, there he is again. There is a guess. Hopefully he's handsome and he's working with a package.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It may not necessarily be your thing, but you know what I would do? I'd start taking pictures and like printing them out and posting him on his front door. That's what I would do. Yeah, just be like, we can see this. This is what we see. Yeah.

In case you think you have, you know, one-way windows. Now, the interesting part is I think, I don't know if I want to give this identity. I know that she's from a big city. So I am wondering if this is a house or if this is like you're seeing this like apartment to apartment or condo, like in a big building because I'm also experiencing the same thing in New York. And to be fair, some people on the other side of the street are experiencing the same thing with me. Right. So sometimes I feel like I want to. close the curtains and sometimes I just don't give a fuck. I'm like whatever now I'm not like fully

buck naked like you know right in front of the window but I did leave the curtains open yeah my morning coffee I don't do that I don't even want to see that you know what I'm saying I'm a get the towel right out of the shower kind of guy yeah I don't think there's any legal recourse here I think you can certainly call the cops and then you're going to be kind of a dick neighbor um but I I would think the best course of action is just to like either put a sign up that says, hey, can you wear pants? Or go talk to the guy. Yeah. And they'd be like, hey, listen, we're okay with a little nudity here and there. No one here is a prude. But what I'm requesting is a little bit of decency. Like morning coffee, IKEA furniture. Do we need to be nude for that?

Yeah. Like out of the shower walking to get your clothes on, understood. Got it. You know? Or be nude and close the curtains. Yes. I am a never nude myself. That is my thing. Never nude. And never nude. One of my kids is a full nudist. Oh, yeah. Full nudist. Loves to be nude all the time. Out by the pool, wants to pull his pants down and jump in the pool.

I mean, the kid is just loves to be free. He loves his, and listen, he got what his daddy gave him. So, you know, nothing to shy away from there. It's a full inch and a half right there. But I get the urge to be naked. I understand that for some people, that's just the way it is. I dated a girl one time. You know her because we both went to the police station, I think, one time to get a restraining order on her.

That's a wild story. Yes. But she was like not a nudist, but whenever we would get to my house, the clothes came off almost instantaneously and they didn't go back on it so we were ready to go out. Like she was always walking around in like a very see-through thong or nothing whatsoever, which was fine by me. And the house that I lived in, you know, the neighbors weren't like, they were sitting right on top of us, but we had curtains. Like you wouldn't see that stuff. But I don't think there's much to be done here. I mean, you just, you got one of those kind of weird neighbors that likes to be nude.

So you could start sending like, you know, putting flyers in the mailbox for window coverings. That's what I would do. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. send over a blinds salesperson. Like, you know, one of those veneers, like, lumineers, whatever they call them, send over one of those salespeople, like, docks them with a curtain appointment. That's what I would do. And then maybe you'll get some traction over that.

Okay. Let's say this is Todd. He writes that his dog has chosen another family. My dog has apparently been cheating on us. We found out he's been sneaking through a hole in a phone. fence and spending afternoons with an elderly couple three houses down the street. When you told your story the other day about Blue always being in the neighbor's yard, it made me think of this, only we actually like our dog.

Okay, smart ass. They feed him steak. They bought him a dog bed and they have renamed him. What? What? Okay. His real name is Cooper, and they are calling him Mr. Pickles. Mr. Pickles. That's a crazy comedy on... What's the adult comedy? Adult Swim? Yeah. Mr. Pickles. Now when I call Cooper inside, he looks at me like I'm his Uber driver. I don't know what to do. I want to confront these people. I want to fix the fence. Or should I just accept?

that my dog has another family and is living his best life. That's a tough one, man. I get it. Well, steak for a dog. I mean, that's, of course they're going to continue to keep going. We, one of, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, is called as good as it gets with jack Nicholson. It's a wonderful movie. It's a sappy love story and, uh, it's well played by everybody. And he has some of the greatest lines ever in a romance rom-com. And, and of course, one of them is you complete me, right? We all know that one of all been there. But the other one is when the, so in case you don't know about this movie, I'm sure you do, it's so many years old. It's like 40 years old, 30 years old. There's a gay neighbor. Jack Nicholson is a OCD, obsessed, weird author that basically is a hermit. He spends all of his time in his house. And when he goes somewhere, he's got to have his own forks and utensils. He's a very

odd particular peculiar kind of man. However, there are the gay, neighbor across the way is an artist and he has a dog and the dog loves Jack Nicholson, the character that Jack Nicholson is playing. He loves him. He comes up to him every time. He wants to cuddle with him, all this other stuff. But Jack Nicholson is very mean to the gay neighbor. He doesn't like human beings, but he likes this dog. So the character, the gay man, gets beat up in a terrible incident and he ends up in the hospital for a long period of time. And then, they can't find someone to watch the dog. So Jack Nicholson reluctantly, his character agrees to take the dog in.

And he takes the dog in. And when the gay man gets out of the hospital, the dog wants to pay no attention to his original owner. He only likes Jack Nicholson. He wants to sit next to him. He wants to be his feet and wants to be there. And at the end of the movie, the gay man is crying. And he says, see what I've done with my life.

No one likes me. I'm not really loved. Blah, blah, blah. It's like this whole sappy moment. And he goes, my dog doesn't even like me. He likes you and you're the worst human being I've ever met. And out from his pocket, Jack Nicholson's character, pulls a bag of bacon. And he says, you dummy, I've had bacon in my pocket the entire time.

Of course the dog loves me. So, you know, it's hard to beat the bag of bacon. That's all I got to say. You're never going to beat the bag of bacon. The dog is always going to love someone else. The dog is what the dog is. He's Pavlovian. He's going to love that bacon.

But I would definitely talk to the neighbors. And say, hey, look, do you know that this is our dog? Like, yeah, we'll share. Yeah, let's share. But at least keep the same name. Yeah, we need to keep the same. Don't confuse the fucking name. Yeah.

Don't confuse the fucking dog. And we can share. Yeah, I agree. I think that's a real simple thing here. You can be a good neighbor. They can be good neighbors. We can all share in the dog. You know, maybe instead of tunneling under the fence, maybe you can just like actually

bring him over for a little, hey, listen, this could be good. You've got to go on vacation. You've got doggy daycare. Yes. You need to go out. You run out for an event and you're going to be gone late or for many hours. Take the dog over there. This can be a really, you can work this in your benefit, but you just have to set some ground

rules first. And it's all about communication and transparency. I know you're trying to be funny here. But at the end of the day, if this is a real situation and you're really going through this, I just go talk to the elderly neighbors. They want some company. They like your dog. You know, I guess it's good.

Your dog is liked by more than one person, which is not something I can say about my dog. So there you go. There's also a lot of dogs and shelters that need home. Absolutely. They maybe suggest that to the neighbors. Absolutely. Okay.

And finally, my husband has a bathroom office, is how I summarize this, because every man has a bathroom office. This is just the way of the world when you are a man, your solitude. All things emanate all days begin and end with a good shit. And that takes a long time. It's not like a five-minute thing. it's an hour thing. And Astrid bust my balls about this all the time, or at least she did, for the first six years of our marriage, until we had children. The first two, three years of our marriage, until we had children. Now I've noticed that Astrid has also taken to being in the bathroom for long periods of time. I know what's going on there. That's right. I thought I was the one with the long bathroom breaks. Now we're both doing it. My husband disappears into the bathroom for almost 45 minutes every morning and every night. He claims he's quote unquote using the bathroom, but I really. recently discovered he put a phone charger near the water closet and is snaking it in so that he doesn't run out of cell phone battery.

And the other day, I found a Bluetooth speaker on the back, like on a shelving unit behind the toilet. I swear to God, I'm waiting for the tiny folding table to come out. He's essentially opened up a we work space inside of our guest bathroom. He says it's his decompression time. I say he's running away from the family six feet at a time. Who's right? Who's wrong? How do we settle this?

You don't. This is it. This is the man's. Listen, being a mother, I assume that you're a mother because you're saying you're running away from the family. I assume that your mother. Being a mother, there is no job on earth like that. None.

Zero. It takes all the time and energy. It changes you fundamentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, spiritually. spiritually, it changes who you are as a human being and not in the easier way, in the much, much harder way. And life was already pretty difficult if you were born with a vagina. You got the shit end of the stick. You got the tough end of the stick. Let's put it that way. So being a mother, there's no comparison. There's no comparison. So please don't take this as me having an ism here. But I will share that guys, we have our own version of what this looks like.

We have our own solitary struggles that we go through. We often don't share the pain or the emotional suffering that we're feeling or the stress or whatever. That 45 minutes in the bathroom morning and night, that is our meditation because we get to go in there and we get to do whatever. Look at whatever article, dumb article about, you know, war-torn far-fung places or get to watch stupid videos explaining to us how, you know, scientific theories work. Or just look at girls in bikinis. Let's just be honest about it. All of that stuff allows our brains to leak a little bit. That's what's going on in there.

We're leaking our brains of all the stress and strife and suffering that we're feeling. Because being a father and being a family guy and having some of that stuff on your shoulders can be also a challenge. So where I would say, don't get mad, get even. Just do the same thing. He can't say anything about it. He's already got things set up and there for you. Yeah. He's got a Bluetooth speaker.

Bluetooth speaker, what is he doing? Listen to Spotify in there? I bring my headphones. I don't want anybody hearing what I'm hearing. Like, you know, I'm watching Perez Hilton slice himself. I don't, I don't get mad. Get even. That's how you do this, right? That is the sign of a healthy marriage is that you go behind somebody's back and you do exactly what they're doing and just wait like a little lion in the in the serengetti waiting to pounce on them when they say something. That is a good man. marriage. Okay. Yeah, at least I guess he's actually in the house. Yeah, that's true. He's not a strip club or something, you know, at the bar and hanging out. I mean, I don't know. Maybe he's doing that too. But listen, you can only have one of those things if you're a guy. You can only have your hour-long bathroom time, your hour-long bar time or your hour-long strip cup time, if that's acceptable to your circumstances. You can only have one of those vices. Like, if I still golfed, I could not have an hour in the bathroom every morning. No way, because I'm doing four hours on the weekend, six hours on the weekend, golfing. But I don't golf.

I poop. That's what I do. And I'm not saying I poop every time. I'm just saying that I'm in there. Please leave me alone. Yeah. But you know what? The truth is, if you have a family with small children, they don't leave you alone in there anyway. You think the bathroom is some kind of, you know, there's like an old adage is like how we all remember our father's farts. We all remember our father's farts because we're literally in the bathroom with them. Because that's what you do when you're a kid. You just find your father and you say, dad, someone's bothering me. Okay. Can I have a few minutes? Is that acceptable? I mean, when they're like real little, you can kind of get it because they don't understand. But now my kids are getting a little bit older and they're still like coming in the bat. And I'm like, guys, I'm literally on the toilet and you have questions for me. Like this is not, life advice doesn't come naturally to me when I'm sitting like this.

Can we do this a different way at a different time in a different part of the house? I certainly would appreciate it. All right. Let's do this. Let's take a, we're going to take a short break. We're going to take about a 10 minute break. I got to make a quick phone call. When we get done with that phone call, we'll be back.

Hang in there. You're listening to The Commercial Break. The one and only. Well, not the one and only, but, you know. This the. Yeah, duh. You know, I have a few minutes, so I'll share this with you. It is the one and only the the the, that's right.

The the commercial break, it is the one only. I will share with you that. So at one point, I tried to trademark the name the commercial break. and I spent like $2,000 on this. And the attorney came back and the UTPSO office came back. And it said, no, you cannot trademark a common use name like the commercial break. It's just, it's too common. You can't do it.

It's like you can't trademark the word and because everybody uses it, right? Okay, it's a phrase that everybody uses. It's been using for a long time. You cannot trademark it. But because I put that application in, now every trademarker, attorney in the entirety of the United States is so desperate. I think the trademark business is terrible because they're so desperate to get another thousand dollars out of me that they text me, spam texts constantly, threatening that another person in the universe is using your name

and you are soon going to lose the rights to it and we will send a cease and desist unless you respond immediately within 24 hours. So I've started responding. Do you know what I respond? Go ahead. make my dad. Like, I'm just like, go ahead. Do your thing. Knock yourself out, kid. Like, I'm starting getting to smart-assie with these guys. And so the other day, one of these guys text me. And it's like, you know, this whole spiel about how, you know, soon we're going to lose the rights to the name. Great. If we lose the rights and name, we'll change the fucking name. I don't give a shit. No, except for the sign. The commercial rake, you know. So the commercial reek actually is what that would be, right? Okay, all right. So I say, hey, listen.

hope your client gets the trademark. Congratulations. Sounds like things are on their way. He even named the client's name, which of course they're not going to do that. They're attorneys. And so he responds, yes, I want to make sure that you don't lose the rights to this name. So just let me know and I can pick up where you left off. And so I said, I'm no lawyer. I respond. I'm no attorney. But isn't it bad for your current client that you're advising another human being that's not your client to do something that would harm your client? Isn't that against like kind of lawyerly principles? Yeah. And he responds, well, I'm just trying to be fair to you. And I said, but what about your client? And he goes, well, you were first. And I go, but I'm not your client. What about your client?

And he said, well, my client will just have to understand that now I'm working with you. And I'm like, I go, no offense. Even if I was likely to engage you in this project, I don't think, you're a very good attorney. And would you go to the next person and cheat on me? Yes. Like, is there another person out there with the commercial break? I'm not, I can't be the first one to have tried to trademark this name. And so I was like, I just think you're going to cheat on me. And I don't want to start a relationship like that. So fuck you. He just kept going. And I was like, people have so much time on their hands. Like, like me, like me. I was quite frank. I had so much time on my hands. In the bathroom. In the bathroom. That's right.

All right, give us a few minutes. Let me, you know, call back my stressing mother and then we'll... Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do.

Leave a message for her, or me or Chrissy, at 212-4-3-3. 3-33-3-T-B. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. Or text us and we'll text your right back.

Promise. Then head over to TCB Podcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. And watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Best to you. and Astrid, especially Astrid.

Just to go. I do what? Are these two making sense? At least I didn't get so old. Why all those none of which are great? All right, never mind. Call got canceled. There you go.

Call not needed. There you go. Love those girls. Those girls are just amazing. I got to load those new songs in because two of them are really funny. I made like five of them, but two of them are like really. funny. And I was actually listening to them on the plane the other day. And I was like, oh, yeah. But then I tried to look. I got to fix the connection. How stable this studio has been for

the last year is quite remarkable. Really? We have not had, besides my earphones going out, we have not had one major technical fuck up in almost a year, except for the fact that I've hours that we've cost. Yeah, I scheduled our episodes to go out a month from now. Besides that, everything has been good. So I wanted to tackle a question. Hold on one second. I wrote this down. And I want to make sure I get it right here.

Give me one second. I can hear those. Sorry, I was eating a quick protein bar because you said you were going to break. I know. I'm so sorry. And now I'm like crunching. I'm being an idiot.

Chocolate and peanuts. I wanted to, you saw you saw the Odyssey, right? Yes. Okay. Have you been watching the documentary on Burning Man called The Man Will Burn. Yes, I have.

Okay. Fascinating. Right. I thought the same thing. Have you ever been to Burning Man? No. No. And nor do I have a real desire to go.

I don't now. Back then, yes. Now no. And because it looks like it's kind of fundamentally changed and is something that I don't know that I would. Well, first of all, I'm, like, very old and, like, the thought of getting sand in my ass. Yeah, that's the thing. Doesn't sound.

That is, like, the number one thing I think that holds me back. Now, I was talking to some people about the man will burn. I have friends that are close to the Burning Man situation. I recently had an opportunity to meet the CEO of Burning Man very briefly. She's featured prominently in that documentary. Yes, a person that I know went to the, like the red carpet premiere of the series, and she was in our office for just a very brief period of time. But same personality on the screen as you see in real life. She's pretty straightforward.

Yeah. And to her credit, she's like, go ahead, fire me. What the fuck do I care? Like, you know, I've been doing this for so long that I don't know you could do it without me, number one and number two. whatever. Here's the interesting thing about the man will burn, and I encourage you to go watch it, even if you don't have any interest in burning men. And here's why. It is a macrocosm of the microcosm in this sense. There is this constant push and pull about the, about money. It's really what it boils down to. This idea of Burning Man, for those of you that don't know, was created by a number of people

who were literally just kind of merry pranksters in the San Francisco area. They were just running around doing pranks, videotaping them, being clowns, having like, you know, I want to say, I don't call it improv comedy. It's more of like realism theatrics. They were out on the streets

doing these kind of weird and wild things. It was this, just like Pee Wee Herman, just like Paul Rubin's would do, right? This very esoteric, do what you want, create pranks, do drama, like be on the streets, like no theater can contain us kind of attitude and vibe. And the guy who started Burning Man, the guy who's responsible, according to most people for Burning Man, just like literally had an idea one day. And he was like, let's build a wooden dude and let's burn him an effigy on the beach. That's it. And so they built like a six-foot-tall

wooden Burning Man. They poured some gasoline on it, set it on fire. And a couple hundred people showed up. Yeah, I had a party. A couple hundred people showed up. And they even say it. It wasn't the burning man that made it what it was. It was the reaction by the people around. They gave it meaning. They said, oh, it's a cleansing. It's a, you know, I'm watching something happen. It's like reigniting something in me and cleansing something from me and the fire is cathartic and all this other stuff. And that led to this now what we have, which is a very elaborate, city that is set up every year and serves the purpose spiritually for a lot of people, serves the purpose to party for a lot of people, serves the purpose to have sex, sexually

for a lot of people. This is just a wild and meaningful event for a lot of people and then not for a lot of other people, right? But the thing is that the price of admission has now become prohibitive to maybe people who, who, and I can't, I don't want to say that not everybody could use it, because I do think that everybody could use this kind of experience in their life at least once, if not yearly, if not every month, if not every day, right? But I will say that, like, you can see as you're watching this documentary how money has started to affect and change the way that Burning

Man interacts with the world and the way that the world interacts with Burning Man. And one of the other prominent people that is featured in this is Elon Musk's brother, who is now become like a financial benefit, not benefactor, but someone who is giving money to Burning Man and then wants to pull the strings around what happens, up to and including getting rid of the CEO that's currently there because he doesn't feel she's doing it the right way. He felt very upset that they didn't have Burning Man for two years because of COVID, even though he put in a lot of money and he wanted it to happen. Well, Burning Man still did happen even though they didn't have an official Burning Man. It still had people out there in the desert doing that.

But you can just see how this Musk is like trying to manipulate the world in his favor because he has the means to do so. While he's sitting there cross-legged with his flowing pants. With his flowing garments. Yeah. And talking about how spiritually blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's all performative as far as I'm concerned on behalf of this Musk brother. and you know that his brother is behind this, right? What did the brother Musk do?

Is he a part of anything? Did he start PayPal? I mean, Elon Musk didn't even start, but Elon Musk started nothing. He didn't start PayPal. He got in on PayPal. He didn't start Tesla. He got in on Tesla. He didn't start SpaceX.

He got in on SpaceX. And he certainly didn't start Twitter. He got in on Twitter. That is how this all went down. Just to be reminded, I have no problem with someone operating in that way and making their living that way. I have no issue with that. I am not a classist in that sense. What I do feel is problematic is that, you know, like this lady said in one of the interviews that she did on this show, she's like, if you want rich white men to ruin Burning Man, God bless you. Go ahead.

Do it, right? And that seems to be the angle that's happening. But, you know, Burning Man's very expensive to put on. How much money do they pay that Block? That BLM? the Bureau of Land Management, $13 million a year, $13 million a year. Holy shit. We have to build all of that city. They have quite a few permanent employees. Yeah, permanent employees, they build the city every year. It's an expensive thing to put on. And people love it. It's like transforms their life. I know so many people that have transformed their life. I went for a day and a half one time. It was like it was transformative in. In just the 48 hours I was there. See, that's what I would maybe do is go for like one night. Yeah.

We just were not prepared. I went with a guy who had been going. His brother was like one of the guys that was out on that beach. His older brother was like one of the guys that was out on that beach. The original. The original. So his brother's probably in his 60s now. But this guy, Pat, was much younger than he was like the youngest and this guy was the oldest

in a family of like seven or something like that. And Pat was just wild. the wildest fucking guy you knew. He was one of these guys who would be a merry prankster. And he invited a couple of us to go. And we did. And the two people that came with Pat were wholly unprepared. And Pat was wholly unprepared to help us be wholly unprepared. Do you know what I'm saying? You have to be very prepared. Very prepared. And there's no money. No, you can't exchange money. So if you need something, you better have something. It's a trade. Or you better rely on the good graces of the people around you. and it just like, I enjoyed the first 24 hours. The next 13 were not so pleasant as I was dirty, hot, sweaty, tired, no place to lie my head.

I mean, there were places to lie your head. Of course there were. But it wasn't my place. So I felt like I was just like imposing on people. It was weird. But I got what was going on. I enjoyed the idea of it. I thought that it was something cool that I would like to go back and revisit.

it, but then it just became something completely, completely different. So now it's this huge festival with all these art installations and flashing light. The art looks incredible. I have to say. Yeah, the art is incredible. That was part of it that I, I guess, kind of forgot about that it was like really a big arts festival. World's largest interactive arts festival. Yeah, and the art was incredible.

But, yeah, I mean, you know, in recent years, too, it's been the flooding and people are trapped, and then there was a murder, and then there's this and that and the other. So, you know, I... It's a city. Yeah. It's a city with all the city problems. And, like, now they're debating with themselves. You know, we bought into this, literally, physically with cash, we are buying into this every year.

Is this, we can't back out now? We can't just, like, now all of a sudden decide we're not doing money. I love how they're, like, they're also trying to, the people who, what do they call them? The people who set up the camps for you, they call it, they have a name, they have a term for them. There's like all these like boutique concierge places that now will get you a space and set it up exactly like you want. Air conditioning, three room cond, three room tent, you know, bed, carpet, full accoutreants, a private chef. They'll clean up after you. You don't do a fucking thing.

You show up on your private plane. You walk in, you walk out. You do it like that, right? And they're desperately trying to clamp down on this, but they can't because that is the way of the world. And is that wrong? No. I guess not unless you have rules against it, right? I guess not.

Some people can afford to do that. They're going to do that. I would do that if I could afford to do that. If I could take my private plane in and get a three-room condo tent with air conditioning and the best food I've eaten in a month and then not have to deal with the elements. Then go party. That's right. When I wanted to on my timeline and not have to worry about a fucking thing. Of course I would do that and you would too.

That's the truth. 99% of us would. But is that in the spirit of the burning man? I don't know what the spirit of burning a man is. It is what you make of it. It is what you make of it. It's all about your perspective. But it's clear that money is starting to shape these things.

It's just like that fucking, goddamn, what is that Coachella that drives me crazy? I mean, that Coachella drives me crazy. Not because of the people that play there. Artists great. It's because it's this like multi-billion dollar event. that now is so fucking expensive that you either have to be an influencer with a million followers to get a ticket, or you have to pay $72,000 to show up in one of the two weekends just to enjoy the festival, which is not a festival. It's just a picture-taking conference with other influencers.

That's what it is. You used to mean something to play Coachella. Now, or be at Coachella, it doesn't mean anything anymore. It's just there to show off your outfit. It's a fit check for everybody. And that part drives me fucking crazy, Chrissy. Go check out my Instagram at Brian W. Green. Yeah, I mean, I think there's still, the documentary to me was fascinating.

And parts of me were like, oh, yeah, maybe I should have gone at some point and check this whole thing out. But I'm not a big camper is the thing. Yeah. People are and all power to you. I'm not. The only reason. I need a shower and a toilet at the very least. Me too.

A toilet at the very, very, very. at least. And that can get me through maybe two days, right? But I am so persnickety when it comes to my hygiene that I start getting real fussy. So that's why when I go to the party in the woods, when I've been to the party in the woods in the past when I'm there for three, four, five days, there are showers. They're more like, you know, hoses where you're naked in front of everybody else washing yourself. But okay, at least there's that, right? But also, I'm so drunk or high, I don't give a fuck. Like that's the other thing. is you have to be in that state of mind where I don't really need to sleep in a tent because I don't need to sleep.

Do you know what I'm saying? That is how it works best, if you ask me. It's just be so fucking tore up from the floor up that it doesn't matter. And then that also can be a transformative experience also. Yeah. Who doesn't want to throw up in the woods? All right, let's take a short break. Or in the desert.

Can you imagine? All right. No open-toed shoes in New Orleans. says the guy that I follow who, I'll talk about that in a second. That's a good one. That's a good one. It's a good one that my wife told me that's the first time we went down there together and I was wearing flip-flops and she was like, nope, but no, don't do that, Brian.

And I was like, why? She's like, rats, pee, poop, puke. Let me name all the other things that are on the ground in New Orleans. All right, we'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speak in a mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page.

You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at TCB Podcast. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333-3-TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you can make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. I've been working out hard.

I've been trying my best to make it this fall. I've been driving so fast. I've been living so tough. I've been waxing my balls. Will it ever be enough? Why won't you look at my body? Why do you cheat on me? Don't you love my money?

I'm such a lonely, Frankie Bay. Action I've been around the world, but I just can't find a lady who wants. To be my girl I've been getting new hair Plus I've never been so tan I'm living with my daughter Eating tuna from a can

Why won't you look at my body Why do your friends hate me I'm such a lonely Frankie babe Brad Pitt says he's drinking again I saw that That's crazy What?

After seven years Yeah why would you admit that I know I guess he asked the interviewer If the interviewer wanted a glass of wine Oh okay well then there you go That just kind of takes the cat out of the bag right there, doesn't it? No rest for the weary with Brad Pitt. Listen, some people probably shouldn't just shouldn't drink, I guess. I don't know.

I mean, he owns a vineyard. So, like, you know, I guess you're going to have to drink at some point. It's part of your job, technically. But, I mean, you know, you feel bad for the children of that marriage because they're adopted, first of all, you know, I don't, I have had friends who were adopted. They are, like, one of the guys that I know that the first person I ever knew that was adopted is one of the most well-adjusted human beings that I have ever met in my entire life. He's like a family psychologist. He's well-known. He's like, you know, written studies that people study themselves. He's very, he's done very well for himself. But I do have to imagine that adoption comes with its own set of emotional and spiritual challenges, right? And so, and then

you get adopted into the most famous family ever. And then your dad ends up being kind of a dick. and then he gets sober and you think, well, okay, maybe there's a chance here. And then now he's telling Esquire magazine, now I'm going to drink again. Well, but I don't think there is a chance with the kids. They've all dropped his name. So maybe he was finally like, fuck it. They all hate me anyways. Damn, that's got to be like, I don't know.

If I'm Brad, I'm beside myself, really. I mean, listen, when you have a billion dollars and, you know, you can take your private jet wherever you want, I guess I can help ease the pain a little bit. I suppose. I don't know. If I had a private jet, I'd get out of here, too. That's what I do. Go to Burning Man.

I'd go to Burning Man. I would. I swear to God. Because I'd just sleep on the jet. That's what I'd do. Yeah, exactly. I'd just sleep on the jet. I'd have like a little shout, like a little portable shower.

And I'd shower off before I went upstairs. And then I'd just go upstairs and, you know, sleep it off. Bitcoin. Ah! You see President Trump, like, batting his leg? Have you seen this? No. People have started to note.

There's like a whole niche cottage industry. One of them is epistemic crisis. Epistemic crisis. or something. This guy has gotten, I started following him when he had like 15,000 followers. And now he's getting close to a million followers. And he is a guy who works with people who have dementia, elderly people. That's what he does. He's like a therapist, right? He is a board certified dementia and whatever you call it therapist. And he has now made a channel where he just dedicates every piece of content to talking about the politicians in office. And he's,

this who are clearly showing signs of elderly of aging, including dementia. And obviously, Trump is a target of his. Now, make no, but he says, I was MAGA. I voted Trump the first time. I was fully invested. I was in on it. I was part of a church. That church was in on it. I was in on it. And then one day I woke up and I just realized, holy shit, what's going on here? And he's like talking about, pointing out specific things that the president, people like, Mitch McConnell and other people are doing that clearly are showing signs of aging and dementia. And so now there's a whole cottage. He's like the most famous of them, I think, online. But there's like a whole cottage industry now that has popped up of people just talking about the president's

health. It's clearly it's a concern, just like it was with Biden. By the way, Biden was the same fucking way. I'm not going to try and pretend that anything was even better was much better there. We all saw that debate. He was not home. Like President Biden was not there. But President Trump, when he walks, he hits his leg, right? He like slaps his leg. Okay. And when he goes to sign stuff, he like bends down in a weird way where one leg is over like this.

He's clearly not doing well with like weight management. I mean, he's the guy just, he's kind of, he's old. He's old. We're all going to get there. Like, I'm not, there's nothing, there's no shame in that. You know, it's not something he can control. He's getting old. But his mind is kind of.

melting away. And one of the things that this guy is saying, other people are shagg. I think I read this on The Daily Beast, actually, is that people are pointing out people who know are pointing out that that is the sign of someone who's had a stroke. Because they are either, it's a therapy, they use it in therapy to remind them to pick up their leg correctly, or the brain is just giving itself. It's like slapping it because you can't feel your leg or there's nerve pain or there's nerve damage or whatever. And he started slapping that leg. Like he's like, camp town races, sing these songs, dude. It's kind of weird. Yeah. It's kind of weird.

It does bring up like a lot of questions about aging and our politicians. True. There may need to be for all, for judges, Supreme Court judges, people in the military, there may need to be an age limit or a test that you take, like a driving test. You know, when my grandma got up to like 92 years old, they may take her driving test. three months or something. I mean, I swear to God. They were making her take that test all the time. And she drove like until about four years before she died. But there's some kind of test or like an age limit or something so that we don't get into these predicaments anymore. So that, you know,

okay, you have to be, what is it, 35 to be the president? Is it 35? Yeah, I think it's 35 to be the president. But you should then, if you're going to be 75 or older during any point in that term, so you have to be 70 to essentially run for president. That seems like a good number. I think so, too. That seems like a good number for me. And then we don't have to get into these kufucta situations where, you know, you got somebody that's kind of like ambling. Questionable. Yeah. It's like, one of the things I was pointing out is like, you know, President Trump is putting all these signs all over the White House. It's like, it's. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oval Office, you know, Hall of mirrors or whatever it is, the White House, the Rose Room or the Rose Garden. You know, he's like putting all these

huge like gold signs everywhere basically spelling out where things are and this one of these guys was pointing out that is not president trump putting his gaudy touches on everything even though that's part of it that is the people around him to help him remember to help him remember where he's going into and how to get there they now have like gold arrows pointing this way and that way and up and down like poor guy i mean i don't have much empathy for president trump i don't think he's necessarily a great human being, but I do have to say this. Aging is going to happen to everybody. We're all going to get there eventually where we're just kind of like ambling along, trying to remember where the bathroom is. I mean, if I'm lucky, that won't happen. But if, but it probably

will at some point. I'm already that way. I'm already ambling around the house trying to figure out what's going on. What room is this? One room of my own? But I will share that this, we shouldn't be talking about this with our president. I mean, that's just a reality. should not be talking about a guy ambling around the White House looking for the bathroom. No. It's just funny to me. Somebody with that much power, no. No, no, he's got the nuclear codes.

I was watching a documentary on the Minutemen who handled the silos for the nuclear bombs. And what an analog weird existence, they live, understandably, right? they go down in these silos, you know, a couple hundred, 100 feet underground, these huge bunker doors that they have to close are like four feet thick.

And they do these 36 hour on again, off again, schedules where it's them and this one other person and there's a bed, but only one bed because only one person can be sleeping at any given time. And then if they actually have to turn the keys,

they're 12 feet away and they have to be turned at the same time so that no one person can, you know, reach over and turn them themselves. Like, it's a whole fucking thing. thing that goes on here pretty well thought out when you think about it. Thank goodness.

I wouldn't want that responsibility. Would you want that responsibility? No. No. These guys, these are like, these people are tough as nails. How do they sleep at night? You know? I wouldn't want that job. No, that's a lot on you. I have a hard time thinking that we'd have to do another episode of the commercial break. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't want to think about certain destruction, certain self-destruction. Like, the last thing I'm going to do is turn a key and press a button. I don't want to think about that. And then all my family members out there, like, I'd just rather not. I'm happy not knowing. Do you know what I'm saying? Flying under the radar. Flying under the radar. Let me not be a part of that, the cogs in those wheels,

because I don't know that I can handle it. I just don't know. I think I would mentally break. I'd be like, ah, I can't do it. It seems like a lot of pressure. It is a lot of pressure. Okay, so I wanted to tell you a few things. write us at the commercial break on Instagram. If you want to do an Ask TCB, if you have a question, if you have a follow-up, if you want to discuss something with us, if you want to talk to us on air about something, go to at the commercial break and send us an Instagram message that is the best way to get a hold of it because I actually monitor that inbox.

So go ahead and do that. From the toilet. Of course, every morning for an hour and every night for an hour, I keep an eye on everything that's going on. So go ahead and monitor, I monitor that in back, so go ahead and let us know there. Also, if you could, if you would, follow us on whatever, Apple, Spotify, all those great places, and share the podcast if you could. The ever evolving world of podcasting is always changing, and we are algorithm dependent here. And while we still do great, I'm so happy that we have both of our listeners still with us.

It would be nice if you would share us if you care. And because that helps the podcast. It helps Chrissy and I. And, you know, we got to eat. So that's the reality. So if you would do that for us, we certainly would appreciate it. It's my plea to you. From me to you, my plea to you.

There you go. I'm like a little rhyme. I made a little rhyme in my head there, Chrissy. Yeah, you always do good rhymes. You know, I'm on luminosity. Do you do luminosity? No. It's like the brain training games.

Yeah, I've heard of it. I've been doing it for like 10 years. On and off again. So I'm learning, I'm revisiting my Spanish, taking official classes, and then I'm doing luminosity to make sure that I don't amble around the place. Because I keep thinking, wow, sometimes I can't remember names and dates. I've never been good at names or dates. But, you know, sometimes things are, when you get older, things start to fade away a little bit, unless our heads are filled with all this shit.

Tons of stuff coming at us every day. So it's been about a year since I've been on Luminosity. I got back on it. I'm like, okay, it gives you an LPI score. That LPI score tells you how you are scoring against other people your age. So I'm like, okay, day one, it's like a series of games. You have to play six of them a day, right? And some of them are really hard.

They're not easy games to play. They're brain games. This isn't like tic-tac-toe. You know what I'm saying? You got to figure out. So I go on Luminosity and I'm like, okay, let me play this game. Be-pop-bo-pop-po-po-pop-po. your LPI score is 602 out of 2000.

You are in the 22nd percentile for your age. I was like, oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah. I don't want to know. Yeah, I know, honestly, like, why am I doing this? 78% of people in my age category are better than I am. Now, I've raised it to 68 by, you know, I kind of got back into the swing of it.

And I'm like, okay, I can do this. And so now I'm at 68. Good for you. So now there's only 32% of people that are smarter than I am. But it shows me that my memory is like one of my strongest categories. My speed, my flexibility, and my memory. My reasoning and my math are not so good. But my flexibility, my speed, they're good.

Okay, good. There you go. I'm just giving you an update on my mental health. I'm not going to be President Trump anytime soon. All right. YouTube.com slash thank you. commercial break. And at the commercial break on Instagram

aforementioned, send us a little message there and hopefully we'll get back to you sometime in the near future. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. I say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe and the streaming universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.