The Commercial Break - Attack, Fern!

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

Holiday time makes everyone feel great! Why not leave the festive decorations up until spring? Some scientists think its a way to beat seasonal depression. Bryan is an expert on all things children music. However, one particular music section is driving him batty! Cocomelon is the devil...Bryan pleads his case. Finally, Bryan and Krissy review 42 Superhero powers and discuss to figure out which one is the best. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bull me once, shame on you. If Bull me, we can't get fooled again. On this episode of the Commercial Break... I live in Disney World here at this house. Disney fucking June your 24 hours a day It's time to fly with us turn it up That are cocoa fucking melon cocoa fucking melon is the devil You and on if you want to conspiracy to hang on to looking to cocoa fucking melon

So basically it's all themed from the moment you walk in the door and you don't leave the hotel, except to go to the parks and even then, you go in a space vehicle. Okay, so, sounds awesome. That it does, actually. And if anybody's gonna do it right, it's gonna be fucking Disney, right? We're so excited.

Everyone's got their little star boners ready to go. Yeah. They're tiny lights. Their little chouies are growing by the minute. What about jumping? Jumping is not a super power. I could do that right now. Of course it hurts my knees.

But I could do that right now. Jumping. Jumping. Maybe it's like a super bounce jump, like a double, like a quadruple bounce jump on a trampoline. Oh yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, you could like jump up into the tree. Yes. Hey guys. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hold you not to say that best of you out there in the podcast universe. I like to live it in there I know Everyone's gonna laugh for those of you that don't know for about a year

We tried to we said to ourselves on one episode how long can people get away with saying happy new year because it seems like some people We're getting into like February and March and they were still there happy new year and they were still there. Happy New Year! It's like, come on man. I think after the first week, so anyway, for about a year, we would say Happy New Year at the beginning of every show. But then I felt like we were getting, like there was too many salutations. Like, hello, best of you, this is the commercial break.

Welcome to the commercial break. Thanks for listening to the commercial break. I just felt like it was getting old, so I said, Chrissy, let's drop the Happy New Year, if you don't mind. And everyone's still a blue moon against expressed, wishes. Chrissy said. I like to go row. I thought we had a team meeting about this.

I'm gonna dock your pay next time. We're talking your pay. I'm docking your pay. 25% of your pay is going into a bucket for other TCB employees every time you say that. Which means about a dollar a month by my Mac. Doing calculations real quick in my head. That's about 98 cents.

Yeah, yeah, you're right. Spotify? We appreciate it. Have you taken your Christmas tree down yet? Oh yeah. What is, yeah, we're in the middle of February? Yes, in the February. Are you taking your Christmas tree down yet? Oh yeah. What is, yeah, we're in the middle of February. Yes, in the February, are you taking your Christmas tree down? I have.

Okay, there's some scientists out there that are now saying that people should keep their Christmas gear up for, till March, through March, until spring starts, essentially. Tough would never allow that. I'm still here. He isn't like Christmas. No, he loves Christmas, but then it's kind of, I like to put out a lot

a little like Chatsky Christmas-y stuff. And he hates him, he's like, you're getting away! Yeah. So, do we really need an activity scene on top of the toilet, Chrissy? I don't want to look at Jesus every time I piss it. Yes, and also too, I like to have a fresh new year with like a cleaning.

Oh, you like to have like a new year cleaning. Yeah, new year cleaning, new year, new year. We haven't ever heard that before, haven't we? No, we haven't. You should be a motivational speaker. You charge big money for that. That's right. Well, some scientists have done some research,

and in there are certain places like in Norway Where certain villages or townships they will keep their Christmas gear up now. It's a big sense actually like Iceland Norway any place that's gonna be Wintery for the next probably five months. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get it. I get that like When you live in four feet of snow or non-stop cold weather, in very short days. We're in Atlanta, we've got like 60 degrees on Christmas. Yeah.

But I do still think I suffer from a bit of seasonal depression, right, seasonal depression, depressive syndrome, which means that then- Whatever Valentine's Day tree or a Chrissy birthday tree, that's what we need to make. A Valentine's Day tree. But I make a Valentine's Day d or a Chrissy birthday tree. That's what we need to make. A Valentine's Day Tree. But I make a Valentine's Day dildo. I'm just gonna put a little heart all over it.

What about put like a big like, dick shaped plastic tree up and just put little hearts on it and pictures of Astrid and I. Yeah, and then on midnight at Valentine's Day, it'll be kind of like, remember the volcanoes you used to make when you were a kid? You used to put vinegar and baking soda in there? I'll put vinegar and baking soda.

Instead of a star, it'll just explode. Yeah, that's a great idea. My kids will be like, ah! Listen, I don't think this is an entirely insane idea. There are some villages in the Philippines that celebrate Christmas 300 days of the year. Wow.

Literally start celebrating in March for Christmas. So their entire life is just all about Christmas because they believe that the Christmas spirit is infectious and that people generally are in a better mood when Christmas is on their mind. That's true, but how does that hold tree than if it's for 300 days? Don't ask me, I don't live in a village. when Christmas is on their mind. That's true, but how does that hold tree than if it's for 300 days? Don't ask me, I don't live in a village.

I don't know. But I watched documentaries about this particular village. And they're literally dressed up like Santa Claus, elves, and reindeer all year long. It's kind of fun, right? It's like if you, but I fear that it would be like, you would get, it's like living a good thing. It's like living near the ocean, right?

And you're an out fan of the ocean because you're a fan of the ocean because you go there twice a year and then it's very fun. It's not there all the time. It's a new thing. If you're there all the time, my friends will live at the beach

and I'm like, man, you just must be at the beach every day and they're like, nope, never. Because I don't give a shit. Because it's right there and I see it all the time. But me who lives 300 miles from the ocean every time I go to the ocean, that's all I wanna do is beat near the ocean. But I don't think this entirely a bad idea just for a couple of extra months

to put the Christmas tree up, have the decorations. I think it's a good, but the other side of the coin is, Disney World's a great place to go. But if you lived there, would your attitude change about Disney World? Maybe. I think so, right? I think so.

Now I'm not sure that's for everybody, but I think it's for some people living in Disney world all the time. Would ruin any fun they have. I don't think I could listen to all that fucking music all the time to be honest. I live in Disney World here at this house. Disney fucking junior 24 hours a day Oh It's time to fly with us turn it up

That are cocoa fucking melon cocoa fucking melon is the devil You and I you want to conspiracy to hang on to look into cocoa fucking melon If you wanna conspiracy to hang on to, look into Coco fucking melon. Coco melon, they just take these innocuous events in life. Like, you know, eating a cookie, and they make a song of it. It doesn't even rhyme, it has no reason. It's like, here we eat the cookie today.

It's so fun to eat the cookie here. We eat the cookie today, chomp chomp yum yum yum. And my kids are like, and draw, they're like their eyes like are glued. And these little like stocky cartoon characters are running around eating the cookie. One of us like oops dad, you know, um, hello son. Hello dad, did you lie? No I didn't.

Are you sure? I think I didn't. I think you did. I just might have. You're in trouble. I don't. Are you sure? I think I didn't. I think you did. I just might have your in trouble. I don't want to be that. And it's like this back and forth between the father and song format and it fucking murders my soul every time I hear it. I'm like, ah! Don't want this play in the mallet. But they get upset when it's not on. They're not when it's not on. But when you try and turn on something different, they're upset. They

want Cocoa fucking melon. Cocoa melon. Can we watch a Pixar movie? I can swallow a Pixar movie. Oh yeah, for sure. Every couple of hours on the dot, it's Cocoa fucking melon that's driving me crazy. Or sometimes those Disney junior things are really there.

But speaking of Disney World, I, there is a hotel down in Orlando, in Disney World that they have been building for a couple of years called the Star Wars. Yeah, yeah, you're like, oh, really? Go figure. That's their building of hotel in Orlando. A new one?

Star Wars themed hotel. Now, here is the original premise. Let me spell it out for you. The original premise was, you know, Disney buys that Star Wars franchise for a billion dollars. Then they put out a couple of movies. The original premise was, you know, Disney buys that Star Wars franchise for a billion dollars, then they put out a couple of movies. Some of them will receive to some of them not, depends on who you are. But then they decide they're going to go and make their biggest expansion to both parks, Disney World and Disneyland, Florida and California in the form of a Star Wars

themed land. 20 acres on both, almost exactly, like carbon copies of each other in both places, the whatever they call it, Star Wars land. And the Star Wars land is universally by most Star Wars fans, Pand, because it's so homogenized. There's like none of the characters you love or you know, there's no Han Solo, there's no Chui,

Chubaka, there's no Han Solo, there's no Chui, you know, Chibaka, there's no Yoda. It's just kind of people dressed up in a generalized space format. And yeah, they have the Millennium Falcon down there, which is the famous ship that they did. Right. But it's just everyone kind of agrees, it's a big cash grab. Sure, that makes sense. I think they're in business to make money.

So they're in business to make money and they're milking every dollar out of it. And I think I told you that I went and got a fucking lightsaber made. Yeah, I love that thing. It was like $6,000 for that fucking lightsaber. It doesn't work because the kyber crystal won't go away. I was so excited when I saw that. I don't know. I don't think you've got a lightsaber, let's use it!

It looks great. You can. It's got a lot of fucking kyber crystal for $7,000 extra dollars. So everyone, so people go, it's Star Wars land, it be cash grab, not really all that great, you know, but it's there and you know, whatever. Now as an addendum to their theme park domination,

they've decided they're gonna make a Star Wars hotel. And here's how it goes. You're, it's a themed hotel. So they're gonna make a Star Wars hotel and here's how it goes you're it's a themed hotel So you're gonna pull up you're getting onto a star ship a star warship Mm-hmm, and then that star warship is gonna take you on a four to seven-day Adventure to space then you're gonna come back and you're gonna leave the ship so basically it's all themed like when you open the windows You see space. It sounds pretty cool. It does sound really fucking cool, right? Yeah.

Which is what everybody was saying. Sounds fucking cool. So basically, it's all themed from the moment you walk in the door and you don't leave the hotel, except to go to the parks and even then, you go in a space vehicle. Okay, so sounds awesome. That I don't actually.

And if anybody's gonna do it right, it's gonna be fucking Disney, right? We're so excited. Everyone's got their little star boners ready to go. Yeah. There's tiny lights. Their little chewies are growing by the minute. That's right, little lights,

squinging whatever that sound is. Well, for the last couple of months, in an effort to market the new hotel that's coming out, they start putting out promotional materials about this hotel. It's opening in March, it was sold out four months in advance, even before they gave, you know, a hard opening date.

Wow. There's a lot of these dates were sold out in advance when they started to sell tickets. They put out a promotional video that is so bad, so cheesy. I swear to God, Matthias could have done a better job with the theming, the costumes,

and just generally the hotel looks like shit. It's just like, it's bad, it's cheap, it's cheap, plastic-y stuff, and all these cool things they were talking to, they were gonna have this light saber training. Well, light saber training ended up being like, you know all these cool things they were talking to them. They're going to have this star you know lightsaber training. Well lightsaber training ended up being like you know how on the Xbox you have that little handheld thing and it goes like You know you could do a better job on Xbox and you could on this. It's really then they were going to teach you how to drive this spaceship and go into hyperdrive.

Well it all looks like it looks like Star Trek the original Star Trek. It looks like our light thing at the grocery store where you can jump in. Exactly. Yes. Yes. For the quarter end. I would rather go to Walmart and find a spaceship

for a quarter than spend, and this is not cheap. It's $6,000, $4,000 to $6,000. It's like the cheapest version of staying at this place, right? It is. Now, a couple of weeks ago, it comes out that the way that they're gonna transport you to the parks is in a box truck. A truck?

A box truck. First of all, I don't even know if this is legal. Is it legal to sit in the back of a box truck? I don't know, is there any ventilation? No, there must be. I mean, I'm sure Disney's on the, you know, they're not gonna kill the people who are spending the most money at their parks.

They want their name and address and credit card information. This is, this is like bad decision after bad decision. Nothing about the Star Wars, the time in Star Wars at all. There's no characters you like. No, it doesn't even look like any of the things that are in the Star Wars universe.

The theming is bad. The costume's like the green pain is like bleeding out. Some lady was like dressed up like a green alien, right? And she was like, she's the captain of the ship and she's like, welcome to Batutu. You are going to be welcome to Batutu. Batutu. We are going to screw screw, you know.

By making a credit card information. And she's like, she puts out her hand in this little 3D image of us. The spaceship comes up. Right. She's like, you puts out her hand in this little 3D image of us, you know, the spaceship comes up. She's like, you will be taking your space screws on 663.22 Pippu, you know, and she like goes like this. And it's like a bad green screen that comes up with a ship and she's her hand is all the

way over here, the ship's over there. She's like moving it around. She's not- Or we will prove this. I don't know who will prove it. That's the point. Who should be approving it is the head of the company. It should be like, this should be the best.

If people are spending $6,000, just to stay in our shitty hotel and ride in the box truck, then this should be the best promotional video that we have ever been able to do. Right, sell it, do it, do it, get it. Get that check. The problem is, it is just as bad as anything that I've ever seen Disney do

They have all those people who made those stuck in fucking Star Wars movies. All those people those people over at Pixar All those wonderful movies that we watch with these incredibly complicated and People are doing they didn't tap any other people they didn't tap any of those people They tap like the end time they got like the guy who's putting thebelts on at space mountain. They're like, hey, you want an extra job? Sure. Do you know how to work Photoshop? Not really. Oh my god. Oh, guys, I'm sorry, guys. I didn't know that's what you wanted. A spaceship. Jesus, that's complicated. Here, you hold it up. I'm going to take a picture of it. And then what I'll do is I'll cut your hand out and I'll put it up here I'm moving around a little bit. I think that's how George Lucas did it the first time. I read a story one time Oh, guys, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about that green makeup. What I did was

I went to the dollar store and I bought some paint. You know the guy and you put the water in, it goes like this and I painted her. Oh, she's getting sick, I'm sorry. I didn't know that was toxic. Yeah, bad, this is bad. It's all around bad, bad, bad, bad. The food looks bad, the tables look bad,

everything looks bad. And so people start cancelling. Left and left. Oh, there's been a bunch of cancellations. It's been a backlash. Cancellations, left and right. Now there's's been a bunch of cancellations. Backlash, cancellations. Left and right. Now there's plenty of time because you want to go.

There's been riding the box truck. For $4,000, there's plenty of room for you to do so. Because I believe people are saying enough's enough. Disney and Universal are down there fighting each other for the, for the, you know, for the crown. Disney has always had the crown down there. But all of a sudden, they have this new CEO, Bob Chepek. It was a real fucking dick, if you ask me.

Really? In the sense that he, they have a problem down there. We've talked about this before. It's very crowded. Yes. It's very crowded and they don't know what to do about it. And it's really hard to manage

because there's so many other hotels and properties and things to do down in Orlando. It's hard to manage the flow of traffic in and out. Therefore, when it's supposed to be downtime, it's not downtime. When they're supposed to have off-season, it's not off-season anymore. It's crowded 365 days of the year, almost 24 hours a day down there. Yeah, they want that dollar. They want that dollar, but even if they, even if people have been complaining about this for years, it's too fucking, of course they are. Because there's no other experience on our market.

Right, you can't replicate Disney. You can go to Universal, but they don't have Mickey. You can go to Universal, but you're not staying at the Polynesian Resort. Right. Now, that's not to say Universal doesn't have its own upside. I'm sure it does. It looks like the better option right now

because all Disney, so Disney has one problem and one problem only and that is guest satisfaction. And the logistics of keeping guests happy are really difficult. They need to do one of two things. Kick a bunch of people out of the park and say, you know, a far capacity is whatever. 50,000 at the Magic Kingdom a day.

Now we're gonna move it down to 40,000 so people have breathing room and can actually get on a fucking ride when you spend 386,000 at the Magic Kingdom a day. Now we're gonna move it down to 40,000 so people have breathing room and can actually get on a fucking ride when you spend 386,000 fucking dollars to go down there. Or we got to charge 387 fucking thousand dollars, so 10,000 people select themselves and say, I can't afford it anymore. And that's the choice that they're making.

The problem is, is that you're not getting anything for that extra thousand dollars. Now you have to pay a cab to go everywhere. you can't do this, you can't do that. This guy bought a paid chain pack at every corner. He's choosing to just make things more complicated and expensive. And everybody, and I mean everybody, even the biggest Disney apologists out there, and trust me, I keep an eye on stuff. I know.

Are you on Disney boards? Oh, I am the Disney board. Yeah, you're running. Yeah, I'm Mr. Duck, Mr. Donald Duck. Here, the moderator. That's right, I'm P.P. Pluto. That's what I am. I'm 33 Pluto. Check me out.

So the most amazing thing is happening right now. The shareholders of Disney are said to be discussing, of which I am one, but I have one share of Disney, I'm not, no one's paying attention to me, but their shareholders are now discussing not are voting against re-hiring Bob J.Pack to be the CEO of the company. And I think that this might happen.

You know how many times this happens? Not a lot. This doesn't happen a lot. Not an unfortunate 500 company. Right, not a lot. This doesn't happen a lot. Not a fortune 500 company. Right. No, Iseiner, the last one. Iger. Iger.

Iger. Iger. Yeah, Iseiner was back in the, everyone loved Iseiner because he was just a fruit loop. He's like, let's spend a billion dollars. And I knew, on a new park in Europe, and we'll put it in the middle of Paris and we'll offend all the Bere Parisians with bad French accents.

And it was a flop. They went on to go, yeah, that's true. He basically took like a, he took like a, I don't know, a Fourth of July carnival and put it in the middle of Paris and said, it's Disney World. And people were like, go fuck yourself. No one showed up.

It was a big flop. The Eisner was awesome because he just wanted to do everything. He was gonna make a- He was a kid in the candy store. Exactly, he was gonna take a reclimated Navy base in San Diego and put a floating island out there and call it, like a Disney Sea world or whatever, you know, Disney Sea. And he had all these wonderful ideas,

but he made one horrible mistake. And that was he spent like a billion dollars on Euro Disney without consulting on anybody in Europe on what they might like in their park. And so it was seen as like pushing American culture on the French, now it's doing very well, but back then it was an absolute flop. So, so that he wouldn't get fired,

he was like, ah, maybe that Disney-seeking weight. He's also responsible for making like Captain EO with Michael Jackson, which is the most expensive film ever made. Oh, that's right. Captain EO. Yeah. Michael Jackson will come. That's right.

Hey, guys. Hey, guys, can we have a little bit more space suits? I like space suits. Can I get a little tighter? Tidy space suits. Thanks, guys. Is it still the most expensive maybe ever made. But most expensive film by minute.

Oh by minute. Oh okay. And it was like $28 million a minute or something. It was bad. Man was it bad. Captain Eo. And it aged bad because it's like Michael dancing around with a bunch of children.

Yeah. Hey, can we get a tighter suits on the kids? Thanks, Michael, guys. I appreciate it. That's like, Elevates is bad. Yeah. So Bob JPEC, I think, is going to get voted out of. I mean, I hope he's going to be fun.

That's the news. Yeah, because everybody's kind of sick of it. It's like, that's a place that we loved. Yeah. Here's an example. They have these purple fucking signs down there. Purple and yellow signs. Tells you where to go.

Epcot this way, magic kingdom that way, go to this hotel here, because it's 20 square miles, 100 square miles, whatever it is, of property. 20, 100, whatever it takes. 20, 100, whatever, whatever, whatever, Brian thinks it is today. You know, a lot of space.

And they have these highways, in the streets, inside. And so they paid this consulting firm in Europe back in the early late eight and 1980s. They paid a consulting firm to figure out how to differentiate themselves from the Florida actual sign. So you knew you were on the property.

Oh, okay, right. They were easy to read and that everyone could kind of understand them. Well, this company went out and did like, you know, eight years worth of research to figure out that purple and yellow, these big purple and yellow signs, purple yellow and red, were universally understood that everyone can understand them,

it was the best colors, you could see it at night, and it was fun and cheerful, made everybody feel good. They put these purple signs everywhere. Every fucking wear these purple signs. They're lovely, they're lovely. You associate the purple signs with Disney World. If you go to Disney World, you wanna see the purple signs.

That's why you go to Disney World. That's why you pay all that money and you'll see the purple signs with Disney World if you go to Disney World you want to see the purple signs That's why you go to Disney World. I think pale that money to see the purple fucking signs Guess what Bob pay cha pay chapec does he takes down the purple fucking signs Why does he take down the purple signs? There's no good reason. Why would you take down the purple signs? Why would you do that if you spent millions of millions of dollars trying to get it right and it's like pale blue and gray now pale blue and gray Hail blue and gray now. Hail blue and gray. Who wants to see that fucking shit? Bob fucking JPEG. Cheepig is what I call you.

Cheepig, I'm mad. I'm mad, I'm on my Disney World back. I'm on my Disney World back. The Disney World of my childhood, I wanna hand down to my children, but I can't do that. You gotta pay $750,000 to ride in the back of a stuffy box truck.

Hahaha. To the P.B. Boo Boo hotel. Hahaha. That's stupid. It hasn't opened yet. It opens in March. Okay. So we'll see. Oh, I'm sure there's going to be, they got a problem on their hands, one in the wide,

because the first 20 people who walk in that door are going to be critics, they're going to be like vloggers, and there is a whole ecosystem of vloggers that do nothing but vlog about Disney. Doesn't it? They make huge living, like millions and millions of views. Just vlogging, that's what they do. Every day they live down there, every day they go, and they, you know, there's a guy out there. He does a nightly streaming show on YouTube,

a nightly show, like a talk show about Disney world. Really? And he talks about everything that's going on in the Disney ecosystem. How is there so much more to talk about every day? You know why? Because they put out new merchandise, they have new food, there's a new sign,

there's a new color, someone's shadow on the ground. Like he literally covers it all. And people watch this, like thousands and thousands of people watch this. I can't see that. Actually, I'm a Disney fan and I'm like, I can't see this over for. Some people are Disney, Disney Kuku. I don't need to know that'm a Disney fan and I'm like I can see this over for some people are Disney

Disney cuckoo. I don't need to know that there's a Donald Duck M&M cookie coming to the fucking you know Epcot center. I don't give a shit. I just show up and pay $35 for it. That's it and after Disney had all of those like a venture movies and everything they were out They're on a roll. They were. They were. For sure. Do you ever watch the Avengers? Yeah. I did. I like the Avengers a lot.

I walked out. You did. No, well, I didn't get into them until later. Jeff and I kind of got into them while we were watching TV one night. We're like, ah, let's give it a try. And then we loved it. Yeah. And then we had to watch the other ones and get back into the stories and figured all out.

Like the part one, like the Avengers part one, or whatever it was. Yeah, I can't tell you how the sequence of things goes, but we really enjoyed them. Apparently there's a website out there that will tell you which sequence to watch them in, like chronological order, so it makes the most amount of sense. Although I'm sure that if you watch them in any order,

you'll probably figure it out. Except for the last two, which were the big like Avengers movies, that you know the part one and part two, part one was like three and a half hours long. So, Astor and I went and when she was pregnant with, I think Matthias, and we couldn't get, I mean, it's not that it wasn't interesting. It's just that there was a lot of, you know, stuff you didn't know back story and it was long. So, a lot of like fast moving CGI and we were kind of like another hour of it. Not that it wasn't interesting. Yeah. I just don't think in that moment we were interested.

I think we felt like there were better things to do with our time. We had a baby coming, so I felt like, you know, three and a half hours of sitting in the movie theater. But I have always been, I've always had a certain curiosity about like, you know, superheroes in general. Oh yeah, me too. I'm sure everyone does. Yes, I think it's a great deal.

What would it be like if you could fly? Right, that's the big one. If you could punch the wall and what would it be like if you could see into the future, tell a transport, tell a 20 inch dick, you know, stuff like that. Yes. So I put a list together, a long list of super hero powers. And what I'd like to do is I'd like to go down the list

and see if we can kind of whittle it down to the best super hero power. Okay. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, give me, I gotta get a pen here, so Chris, you keep the audio and send it to me. Give me an update on your eyeball. Okay.

Hey everybody, it's that time inside the commercial break when we take a commercial break and I have some exciting news for you. Chrissy and I are going to be starting a series where we play a number of games here on the podcast and we want you involved. If you're interested, leave us a message at one of two places. Go to tcbpodcast.com, click on the contact us, form, and drop us an email, or you can leave a text message, or a voicemail on 661 Best 2 Yo.

That's 661-237-8296. I'm not gonna get into what games we're playing, but we're gonna be playing a lot of them, so there's plenty of room for everybody. Also, if you'd like to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and youtube.com slash the commercial break for content you cannot get anywhere else. We put out clips on both Instagram and YouTube

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Accelerated healing. Mm, yes, I have a hurtful eye right now. So yes. I think accelerating healing would be cool. Definitely for me would be good. Yeah, like kind of clumsy and I'm always good. At a bruiser bird, eye things. Yeah, and I'm just old, I'm falling apart. So, but I wonder if accelerating healing means

accelerating, you can accelerate a healing or you can hand it to someone else. Yeah, I don't know. I think if you have the power, you have the power to heal yourself too. And you can do it to somebody else. Oh, that'd be wonderful. Like if Matthias gets a boo-boo and I can just fix it.

Just, yeah, that's a good one. Sonar. Sonar really gives you shit about sonar. Like, why do I care if someone's close to me? You know, what exactly, like planes and vehicles? Like, yeah. Yeah. Going, there's a 747 coming.

I don't know how that would help you unless you were like, in a war, right. And you had to look out for enemy tanks or planes. Yeah. I'm not sure sonar. Or you're a big cheater. And you needed to know when the, when the girls were around the old sonar that's what I like sonar okay that wins night vision well I can buy night vision yeah one of those like you see your stuff yeah I got a lot of

49 that for four years and I guess there's really not a reason to need them unless you're out at night trying to creep around. Yeah, or you're a prepper and think that the lights are gonna go out every night. It's like, I saw on QVC one night, this guy is like, for four years at payments of 49.99, you can see in the dark no matter what the conditions. If Russia invades, you'll have night vision.

Night vision, who fucking cares at that point? It's a night vision. Or a flashlight, night vision, who fucking cares at that point in the night vision, a flashlight, night vision. Yeah, okay, so night vision, wall crawling. Wall crawling. I mean, that's kind of cool, but I'm not sure that serves a tactical purpose. Yeah, I mean, what am I gonna do?

I have 20 foot ceilings, it's not gonna be very fun. I'm talking, and now I'm not talking, let's put some parameters around this. What is the coolest superpower to have as a normal human being? Not if we're crime fighting or something. Yeah, right? Does it wall crawling might be cool if I was fighting crime?

You get to hang above people and be like, ah! Yeah, yeah! Yeah! Yeah, I agree. I mean, it would be cool to be able to do, but is the best one? I don't know. No, it's not.

I think we got to take that one out immediately while crawling. Controlling machines. Now here is a cool one if I could control machines. Yeah. Like a Tesla car or something like that or like somebody else's computer. Or just the equipment here in the podcast. Well, that's true. Understanding.

This is true. Yeah, I never thought about it like that. Yeah. Okay, controlling machines might be one. The ability to control plants. Yeah. Plants. I'm not sure that really you don't care. No, that's a that's an additional super power. The ability to control plants. Plants like house plants or like plants like. Get em fern. Oh, tack fern. I mean, someone walked in the door and be like, well, get em fake foam tree. You know what?

You can see it working with like with Ivy. Oh cool. You can wrap around somebody with I. Yeah, but how would that serve you on our daily basis? Maybe my kids, get them fern. Go get me a bring her back here. Imagine my children are like, ah! I think kind of cool.

Super speed. Oh, I like this one. I like the super speed too. I like super speed if I could just like, I mean, is that just you, you just run. Yeah, just run super fast. Like 200 miles per hour. People can't even see you so fast.

Yeah. Yeah, I would like that. If I could be at the beach in like five minutes on my own, a pedaling on my own feet and be back before dinner, that's a cool one. Would you be able to take other people with you on your supersonic fast ride? I think if you're strong enough, like I could probably pick a me I'd go for a ride.

But I'm not sure I could grab a stick by the back of her head and be like, oh, let's go. Woo! Look at my buddy! Super speed is cool, but yeah, super speed is cool. Okay, healing others. Ah, here we go. Healing others. Yes. I we go, healing others. Yes.

Yes, I would like that one. I would too. I would like that one. Okay, so now I think we've come down to, I think we left out night vision. I think we've come down to accelerated healing, controlling machines, plant control, super speed, healing others, we've got to pick two.

I would, for me, I would say, plant control we decided may not be all that interesting. Well, is healing others and then healing, accelerate to healing, those aren't the kind of the same. No, one's healing yourself, one's healing others. Now that I've read it correctly. So I would say super speed and healing others is what I would, what would you say?

Yeah, I would definitely go healing others and then what were the other choices? Super speed controlling machines or healing yourself. I'm going back to controlling plants. Controlling plants? You want controlling plants. Okay, so. I like saying get a fern.

Get a fern. I mean, nobody would have asked this. I would never, but nobody would ever, would never suspect that that's even a power. So you would get throw people off. That's true. You could just like, what if I could just go up and like, slap somebody's butt with a fern,

just be like, that was my fern. No, that was my fern. He's not a control. Got to watch out for that when he's sneaky. Okay, so now we have a disagreement, so here's how it's gonna go. You got to watch out for that when he's sneaky. Okay, so now we have a disagreement. So here's how it's gonna go. I'm gonna pick super speed as mine because we only have two per.

So now yours is either healing others or playing control. Which one do you want? Are you gonna stick with playing control really? No, of course I'm gonna go healing others. Playing control is really fun. Okay, so super speed and healing other moves on to round two. Okay.

Unbreakable bones. Yeah. Kind of cool. Yeah, I need some. I need some. Run it through walls. I mean, maybe when I'm 90. That's true.

That would come in handy. Okay. Yeah. Kind of cool. Teleportation for true. That would come in handy. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, kind of cool. Teleportation for sure. Teleportation is cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like if I could be in Paris in a second. Oh my God, I've been waiting for them to come out with this for forever.

Why is it not here yet? Because he's waiting for him to come out with this. Tessley, Elon, get on that. Why has it not happened yet? Well, it's just this whole thing about matter. Matter. Yeah, good. Molecules. Underwater breathing.

Ooh, yeah. Yeah. That would be super cool to have. Yeah, cool, but I'm, you know, still gets exhausting swimming. Like, I mean, even if I could breathe underwater, it still tires me out after a few minutes. I'm not sure. Yeah, and I guess you could just do the scuba.

Yeah, and then I'm afraid like I'd get brave and wanna like cross the ocean or something like that. And then I just sink to the bottom because I was so tired, but I guess if I could breathe, then I would just take a nap down there. That's true. Yeah, I wouldn't have to worry about waiting for the living room. I have a lot to fish come over.

Yeah, and then I eat it like sushi. Yeah. You could hang out with a sponge bob. That's true. But I am scared of the bottom of the ocean a little bit. It makes me a little bit nervous. Oh, who is? Yeah, there's things down there we have no fucking clue about. And so if I was underwater breathing,

yeah, a little thing that's seen there. They're all weird and they see, you know. There's more. Oh, it's gonna have the eyes that go off. Just to the right, like, the side of their head. Or they move independently, like, I don't want to be friends with any of that shit. It doesn't interest me all side of their head. Or they move independently. Like, I don't wanna be friends with it. You know that shit. It doesn't interest me all that much.

It's kinda like seeing an alien. I'm not interested. Okay, so underwater breathing is, it's kinda cool. Levitation. Now, levitation is cool, but I think flying is cooler. Yeah, yeah. Like if I could fly, then I'd be levitating, right?

I could just kinda lift myself off the ground. Yeah. So I'm gonna say that I'm gonna wait for flying. Bringing the dead back to life, no thank you. Yeah, no thank you. Yeah, you're messing around with stuff. Yeah, well, I think you're messing around with stuff in any of these, but I guess.

Yeah, and I mean, bring people back to life in what form? That's true, and who are they when they come back? Yes, like the Frankenstein conversation, right? Or the undead conversation life. Right, you could Frankenstein conversation, right? Or the undead conversation. Right. Do you have them back, but do you want them? If you reanimate people, are they the same as they were before and do you want that? Now, if I could bring people back to life and choose their personality traits that stick with them, then that would be good. Like if I was like a, I don't know, like a guy who could bring like a therapist who could bring people back from the dead

and control with their personalities. Like, the truth is that I'm sure that there are some people in my life should they pass away that the only thing I would ever want was to be able to bring them back. Of course. But if you bring one person back, they're gonna give people bothering you. All right, that's true. Like, hey, I got, you know, my mom and I. Carrot top just died.

Can we bring them back and I'll be like, I don't really like caratop. You know what I'm saying? Or can Michael Jackson just do one more concert? You'd be very godlike. You would be godlike. So I'm gonna say no to them. I don't wanna play that. You'd be levitating up off the ground.

And I say, Fern, go get him. Fern, stack. A jack ferd. Granting wishes. Oh cool. Oh, cool. Yeah. It's more like a genie than a super pilot.

Well, again, now you get into playing Godlike. Yeah. And people are going to be bugging you. I've got some wishes. Also, be careful what you was for. That's true. Always be careful what you wish for. Exactly.

Because sometimes people think they want something and then it's the old, the old cautionary tale. It's like those fucking lottery winners. Yeah, like those fucking lottery winners they go broke within days. Why? Because they've had, they were, they wanted it, but they had no idea what they were gonna do

when they got it. So I'm gonna say granting wishes is to God like for me. Yes. Speaking to the dead. Teresa Caputo already does this. No. One of them is called Teresa. Yeah, go Sanders, that's right. What a nice call to Risa. Yeah, go Sanders, that's right.

I'm not interested in speaking to her. I agree. Yeah, let them rest. I'm not sure I believe in all that shit. Flight for sure. Absolutely. For sure. 100.

Do you have those dreams where you're flying? Absolutely. Me too. I love them. I know we do. And sometimes I have dreams that I'm crashing. Ah. Do you want to know the weirdest dream that I'm flying and I flicker sometimes I have dreams that I'm I'm crashing Ah, do you want to know like the weirdest dream that I had last night and by the way in oh well I'll talk to you about this. Let me let me write this note down

So I'll give out this after off air. I had the weirdest dream last night. Uh-huh Remember sometimes I was talking about that girl who's on my Facebook who has a What do you call it the account where all the nudity is? Only fans. Yeah, she's an only fan of the count. Yeah Yeah, I don't like, I don't, I don't know who's on her only fans, but it wouldn't be me. I had a dream that I was in my childhood home last night,

and this girl was trying to have sex with me before my dad came home. Oh. And I was like, no, no, no, I was like, literally like, no, no, we can't do this. And she's like, you told me you would. And I'm like, no, I didn't. Okay, onward, no, on breakable do this. And she's like, you told me you would. And I'm like, no, I didn't. Okay, I'm not worried.

Unbreakable bones, teleportation or flight. So we had to pick two. So I am going to, for me, I would do teleportation or flight. Yeah, me too. Okay, so that was easy. teleportation, a flight, move on to the next round. Self duplication, self duplic round. Self duplication.

Self duplication. Self duplication. No, I don't want to. I hate one of me. I'm not sure anybody else wants that either. I know. And could you, like, are you gonna have to tell them what to do? Like, keep track of them.

Like, what, that, that, Chrissy? Yeah, Chrissy and Ryan. I mean, I told other Chrissy not to do that. She's out all night again at the club. Yeah. I mean, she's gotten arrested. You left the milk open again, Brian. What are you doing?

I told you not to go to my ex-girlfriends house. Pretend that I'm single. Don't do that. And which head would you be in? Exactly. Would you be in that head? single. Don't do that. And which head would you be in? Exactly. Would you be in that? Or would you be in that head? Yeah.

Oh, that's all kind of weird. No thanks. No thanks. Too complicated. Death touch. Now I don't want the death touch. Death touch. Yeah.

What is that? Dude, you're dead. You're dead. Come here baby. Come here Nico. Of course Nico would probably just like come right back to life Smelling worse that he did before No, I don't want I don't want death touch. No

Gravity control No, that's not all that interesting to me Why would I want to control gravity? Well, again, could you fly with the gravity? Probably if you can say no gravity Did you fly with the gravity? Probably. It was, huh. If you could say no gravity, but then, but then, yeah.

But then, would everything else float? Start floating? Yeah, everything would start floating. I'm sure. Or you could like, I could command this camera just to lift off the ground. I would say, no. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That might be cool. Oh. Okay. Interesting. Okay, we'll leave that one on there. What about jumping?

Jumping is not a super power. I can do that right now. Of course it hurts my knees, but I can do that right now. Jumping. Maybe it's like a super bounce jump, like a double bounce, like a quadruple bounce jump on a trampoline.

Oh, yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, you could like jump up into the tree. Yes. But. Ah. Hey guys. Hey guys, see you later. Ah.

Just like jumping hang on to the top of a tree. Cool party, sure. How do you get down? Not entirely sure. It just said jumping. It didn't say landing. That's what it's like. I'm not really sure. It just said jumping. It didn't say landing. That's what I was saying.

I wish I had the grant wishes thing too. Now I can say I wish I knew how to land. Yeah. Okay, jumping, jumping. I think this could all be taking care of flight with flight, right? Long life. No, I don't give a shit. No, I don't want to live for hundreds of years.

That doesn't sound interesting. Tough skin. Well, I think I got a tough skin. Yeah, I mean, it's figuratively or literally. Literally, I'm talking like literally, like I think this means, you know, you could, people could, I don't know, try and stab you. Yeah, it'd be okay.

You'd be like, yeah, whatever. Yeah, I'll just keep myself out of those situations. Mind reading, this might be interesting. This I like. It's a double edged sword. I know. Because all of them are. Yeah, I mean, you want to know, flying to me seems harmless.

How was that a double edged sword? Because the flying reading, you may not want to know what somebody's mind is saying. Because if you're flying, then I don't know. You're gonna have to talk to Air Traffic Control about your flight patterns. I'm not really sure, but there's gotta be some downside to flying.

It probably would be that everybody would know that you can fly and they'd all want a piece. Well, I'll hop on your back. You'd be the most famous person in the world. That's right. People jump on my back all the time. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Well, that was little back.

Yeah, okay, flying seems like, seems less complicated in nature, but I'm sure there's something about that. Mine, your name's tricky. I think I like this because then I, I think I'm a realist. I believe I already understand what most people are thinking. Well, why do you need to read the minds?

Because I actually want to hear what they have to say. I want to catch them. I don't know if you do. I know. I don't know if I do either. Okay, but you know, we got to pick one. Can I be? So, okay, um, steel claws. Steel claws.

Come here, me. Oh, sorry about your arm. That's like a persiserand. Oh, sorry. It's a little burrine. Sorry. Sorry about your eyeball. Oh, yeah, I'm good on the steel claws.

No. Gravity, so the only ones that made it out of this one are gravity control and mind reading. And I think I'm going to say mind reading. And what think I'm gonna say mind reading. And what are you gonna go with gravity control? Okay, so mind reading and gravity control. All right, there we go. Hard skin, we already talked about this. It's the same sensing danger.

Well, I sense danger all the time. That's like a human, yeah. I mean, yeah, I don't care about that. Endurance. Oh, yeah, I'd like to be, I'd like to go out of these stains.'t care about that. Yeah. Endurance. Oh, yeah, I'd like to be, I'd like to go out of these stings. Seven hours in bed. Yeah.

Yeah. Every night a Sunday morning, you get it on, you get your boner. We're talking about a brand new day. Endurance can be interesting. That could help with the swimming. That's true, by swimming and endurance, then I can make it over to Europe with, quick. Yeah, underwater just like swim underwater.

Haspies and whales. Well, it's not fast swimming. It. Yeah, underwater just like swim underwater. Pass buys and wails. Well, it's not fast swimming. It's just underwater breathing, right? So if you have endurance, still take you a long time to get over that. I would. I mean, it didn't take like somebody like a day to cross the English channel or something.

And that's not that long, it's only like 20 miles. Yeah. Okay, endurance, cool. Photographic memory. Yes. Okay. I would like that. There are people on earth who have this.

I know. There are people on earth who have this there are people on earth who have a photograph They remember the day the time they can name the color what you were wearing Yeah, I like that power. Yeah, well, I think it's photographic So I think it has to be something to see but human lie detection for fucking sure that would be cool, man What do you think I think that's a cool one? I can feel like I can tell when people are lying. That's mind reading too. Yeah, that is mind reading.

Slowing down time. No, I don't care. Give this shit about that. Unless you're like gonna really cold space. If they can. Yeah, that's true, that's true, that's true. Invonorability. What?

Invonorability. Like the anti-vonorable, like I'm never vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. I know a couple people like this already. I'm good. Yeah. I'm good.

Immortality. No, that's the same as long life. Yeah, and I don't want, if I don't want to live for 100 years, I certainly don't want to live for every year. Yes. That's for sure. Okay, endurance, photographic memory, human life, attention. I don't know, that would be good.

That's kind of vampire-ish, you know? Immortality? Immortality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can live like a bunch of different centuries then. You know, but I think after a while, you'd just be like, let me go. It's hot, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that happened after like 100 years. Not like a thousand, but like a hundred. But then you got forever to go. Yes, true. But then again, it could be cool. You know, you see all of these different generations.

You could have massed your riches. Yeah, and then just spend your fortune on Plains, baby bass house. Yeah, maybe suck is been alive for the whole time. It's kind of a baby face It doesn't really change his looks in the Empires are like that though. Yeah, vampires are like that. I catch you those vampires look out for them Endurance photographic memory human lie detection. I get you. Those vampires look out for them. Endurance, photographic memory, human lie detection. I have to pick one. Yeah, pick two.

Endurance, photograph, I'm going photographic memory. Okay. And then endurance lie detection and what? That's it. Endurance. I'm going endurance. Endurance and photographic memory, those three. Okay.

I'm going to do that also. Okay. Okay. So now, there's one more round, but I think these are pretty stupid, so I'm gonna super dick instead of orgasm. I'm, I put those in there. Okay, so now here's what we have. Super speed healing others.

Teleportation, flight, pick one. Teleportation flight pick one. God, I mean, I want to say help other healing others. You want to say that? I know, because it sounds good, but flying is cool. You want to say that because you know what people, the audience, the ticket you're an asshole. Oh, I mean, I really do want to hear others, but flying, I might be able to heal others

just by being able to fly. That's true. So there you go. I don't know how that happens, but you could save people quick. You could fly them to the hospital. Yes, yes. Okay, so flight. Yep.

And then you got one other one, picking two. Oh, that is again. Yeah. What were they? Super speed healing others, teleportation or flight. Teleportation. Teleportation? Okay. Okay, teleport. All right. Okay. And I would,

I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would of the same. Super speed, healing others, teleportation or flight. Okay, I'm gonna go with flight and super speed. Super speed. So then I can be even fast as I was flying. Ah, well we're not combining them. We're just getting to the bottom of which ones are better. We're combining. Okay.

Okay, gravity control, mind reading, endurance, photographic memory. And I'm going photographic memory. Photographic memory, and what else? Endurance. Endurance, okay. So now, and I kind of agree with all of these, right? Although I like mind reading,

I think I'd like endurance or photographic memory more. So now we have flight super speed, photo, graphic memory, or endurance. So now, pick one, flight or super speed, pick one. Flight. Flight. We already know this is going to work. Yeah.

That's bracket. Yeah, photographic memory or endurance. Ah. Yeah, that's bracket. Yeah, photographic memory or endurance I'm gonna go photographic memory again photographic memory. Okay, so we have decided that Let's mesh those two together. Yeah, you can just remember everything blown over You just take a picture of your mind every where you go. Yes, so basically we have decided of the You're in your mind every where you go. Yes. So basically we have decided of the one, two, three, four, of the 32 superpowers that I have found,

flight is the most impressive. Is the one that you would want the most. It is. I, and what would be your second choice, photographic number? Jumping, I'm kidding. Jumping. Oh, would you lay in?

I think, yeah. I think, the only thing that I would change here is that if I had to pick a one in the two, it would be flight or teleportation. Yeah, I like teleportation too. And I like the idea of healing others, but I like the idea of flying a lot more. Yeah.

That's just my personal opinion. I'm not trying to be a dick, that's just the way that it is. Well, I can't wait we think we could help people, heal people by being able to fly them, please. I'm not entirely sure how, but yes, for this, for the sake of looking good on camera. Yes.

I'm gonna say that's it. I like that, I like getting to the bottom. I think flight is the best one. It really is, the coolest. How do you not pick flight? I know. And I'm afraid of heights. But I tried to fly planes because I like the thought of flying myself. Like actually me getting up in the air, slapping my wings. Now the question is how would you fly? Would you have to flap your

flaps your arms? Super warm. Yeah. You just kind of think about like, just kind of push yourself up. And by dreams, that's the way it happens. I kind of just push myself. And you're up, and you go. And then I'm up, yeah. Yeah, maybe I do a little wave. Yeah. A little wing-flopping. A little wing-flopping.

A little wing-flopping. That little wing-flopping goes a long way. And then imagine like turning to the left, or turning to the right. Yeah, it's so cool. Like spinning around, or building, or something like that. I wonder if you get bored of that after a while. I wonder if you'd be like, I don't want to fly. I don't think so either. I don't think so either. I mean you don't have to fly all the time.

You can walk but for a while you're gonna just fly everywhere. That's it. I'm you're flying to my house. I'm flying to yours. I'm heading down to Orlando, the yellow Bob chief. All right gcbbotguest.com that's where you go. You find out more information about Chrissy and I, read all the show notes, listen to all the audio, watch all the video. If you can, if you would please, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break and subscribe. Like on any of the videos, we put out clips every day of the week and then we have in the studio a special YouTube exclusive content that you can't find anywhere else at the commercial break on Instagram and 661 best the number two and yo that's where

you can send us your content ideas stories you've heard comments questions concerns send them all there 661 237 8296 all right what else can we do today I think that's it I think that's it. I think that's it too. I love you. I love you. This is to do. And this is to you.

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