The Commercial Break - Attack Of The Teenis!

Starting point is 00:00:00 I did not expect to find a fence like this here at all. It's perfect. I mean, this is the shape that I like so much. These angles, fabulous. Fences are such dangerous objects for me because they are so perfect in their geometry. I mean, I have to say there is a lot of physical stuff going on right now. I mean, and I think that happens between human relationships as well, but I'm definitely physically attracted to this fence.

Starting point is 00:00:41 And I would like to get to know this fence better. Welcome Shatto, Bette! How can I help you tonight? Oh, yeah, thanks man. First time here. Super excited Well, we are indeed glad to have you. Do you have a reservation very busy tonight, sir? Oh, yes, sir. Of course I do a reservation for two under the name dingle Donald Zappel dingle the third. Oh, yes Of course, Mr. Dingle We've been waiting for you. Here you are, right this way. Are we celebrating a special occasion tonight, Mr. Dingo? Actually, you know what? It is. Can we get a nice table with a great view? Of course, sir. Grab Apple's finest table is right here,

Starting point is 00:01:18 overlooking Crosscrick and City Mall. You said City Mall. You meant City Hall? Nope. City Mall! The mayor's office is right behind this cinema Well, either way, thank you very much, tables lovely Who should I be looking out for? Who is this special lady? Oh no, it's not a lady Of course, my apologies 2021 and all, who is the lovely lad

Starting point is 00:01:38 Oh, no, no, not a man of youth Really? Well, we don't allow animals inside of the building, sir No, no, no, nothing like that, I'm not a weirdo now It's a fence A fence? Well, we don't allow animals inside of the building, sir. No, no, no, nothing like that. I'm not a weirdo now. It's a fence. A fence? Yes, sir. Like a yard fence. Said he's the most beautiful kind, isn't it? Okay. Well, she'll be about three-foot tall. She got pain red, and she has dog-eared slats. Your fence? Exactly. Well, yes, sir. I will keep my eyes peeled for a fence. Thanks. I'm a little bit nervous, I'm gonna propose, didn't I?

Starting point is 00:02:05 Well now sir, nothing to be worried about at all, even if she says no or nothing at all! You know what they say, the grass is always greener. On this episode of the commercial break, you heard what I said. You heard what I said. This sounds like a parent talking to you. You heard what I said. Jimmy's a little aggressive. I know. You and I were talking about it. Yeah, I know. You heard what I said. You'd be like, bitch. I know, you and I were talking about that.

Starting point is 00:02:45 Yeah, I know. You heard what I said. You'd be like, bitch. I'm fine. What did you talk to me? I'm B-Rock. You can't talk to me like that. What?

Starting point is 00:02:55 What, what, what, what? Look, there's Jimmy with some mushroom caps. Bellies got that new green winky winky from Southern California. Look, there's some sticky yucky. Yeah, there's sticky yucky. Look, there's some sticky yucky. There's some purples and some blues. There's Danny handing out some sialis for all the boys.

Starting point is 00:03:21 It's gonna be a long night at the scavenger. And look, it's B-rock-o! Spitting the records! Bigity, bigity, bigity! I get it. I've had a few late nights at bars right here the same way. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened to me. We've been together all evening taking shots a year ago, and I just... I was black out drunk. I don't know what got into me. I got a penis. I got a penis.

Starting point is 00:03:55 I got a penis. It was out of control. You know the name of this episode is going to be a tackle to penis. You know the name of this episode is going to be a tackle to team it. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh my dolphin went off the wrong way. Commercial Break. This is B Rock and this is KC and I'm the new year! Best of you, Chrissy. Best of you, Brian. And B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- gold right there. Oh wow. 68 karat. Then you'll make this anymore. It's hard to get. It's rare.

Starting point is 00:04:53 It's rare. Sandy. Ah, see? It's gold. Pure. Pure gold. Pure orange gold. Orange is a sunkissed orange. Welcome back to another episode of the commercial break. We're glad to have you. Thank you for tuning in. We appreciate it. We're here in the TCBTV minus studios. With again, Mr. Miles Davis behind us. Here's the deal. I love it. Look at that. Miles Davis, TECBPodcast.com is where you can go. You can read more about Chrissy and I find all the show notes. Listen to all the audio.

Starting point is 00:05:17 Watch all the video and find out all the rest of the places you need to go. Please subscribe to us on YouTube. It's youtube.com slash the commercial break and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break on Instagram because you're gonna wanna be included in all the fun stuff we're doing, including swag giveaways.

Starting point is 00:05:32 You can write us a letter, leave us a comment, send us a DM, whatever you wanna do, communicate with us and then we're giving away swag. Not to everybody, but just to some people that we like. And I've actually sent swag to a few people who've left us hate comments. Or actually, I volunteered to send them Shwag. They've yet to give me their address.

Starting point is 00:05:46 Oh, okay. I was also excited to do that. I'm offering, right? Yeah, I've offered. I've said, you know, good for you, sir, and you're incredibly talented overview of our show. They took the time. They took the time to say fuck yourself.

Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah. And so I said, I'm going to take the time to send you a T-shirt. A T-shirt and a little china white. Right, for you from my friend, Miles Davis. So we're giving away Shwag, and you wanna get it on the next giveaway, which is happening currently. We're in it, we're in the middle of it.

Starting point is 00:06:15 So the last go back to episode number 85, right? And you know, it started episode number 85. I think that's the number. And you wanna watch the YouTube video all the way through. We're giving clues, it's a scavenger hunt. Yeah. Then eventually, I'm going to ask a question and those who have been paying attention

Starting point is 00:06:31 will be able to answer that question based on the clues that they have received by watching the YouTube video all the way through. No skipping forward, no cheating. Watch all the way through. Is this a ploy to get you to watch my YouTube videos all the way through? Yes, it is. And get you to watch my YouTube videos all the way through? Yes it is.

Starting point is 00:06:46 And so I'm gonna be completely transparent about it. I need you to watch the video all the way through. Because someday YouTube is gonna monetize us. And Disney's gonna be advertising on our channel. I doubt it. This story about rock hardcocks brought to you by Disney's Pixar's new movie. Do it, it's a butt guess.

Starting point is 00:07:04 Do fuck-drodards in a show. That's how it's going to go. I'm not going to resonate with a lot of people. Yeah, it's already resonating. Tell Disney's knocking down the door. They're saying, Brian, Chrissy, we want to get into this podcasting business. Clearly, you're the two to bring us into the future. How do we do it?

Starting point is 00:07:21 And you know what I said? I said, I'll get back to you. That's right. I'm sorry. I'm on vacation. I'm currently said? I said, I'll get back to you. I'm sorry. I'm on vacation. I'm currently out of town, but I'll be back in the 24th. If you need help, email my wife. Excuse the typos. Excuse the typos. Siri is trying to sabotage me. Here's the thing. On the bottom of my signature, I put a little funny quip many, many years ago. Yeah. It said, please excuse any typos. Serious trying to sabotage me. You will not believe how many people actually respond

Starting point is 00:07:48 to that particular comment. As if they, I mean, they don't. Everybody can relate. It's below my signature, right? But what I'm saying is everybody can relate. But I've seen this before, like, please excuse typos written on an iPhone, right? I've seen this before.

Starting point is 00:08:00 It's not unusual for people to put it on there. Yes. But for some reason, people respond to me and they'll respond to that. They'll be like, oh, I know the feeling series trying to sabotage me too. Right? Our damn it, series, something. Yeah. And then I'm like, I didn't want you to respond to that part.

Starting point is 00:08:15 It's just a joke. It's just a joke. Stupid people. You can't do that, Jackie Weaver. You can't do that. Jackie Weaver. Jackie Weaver. So the Olympics are upon bonus here. They are

Starting point is 00:08:25 21 to 21 the 2020 Olympics in 2021 and it's sure as shit COVID's probably gonna fuck that up to we were gonna go on location we were gonna go on location but now because of COVID we may not well who knows it's not over yet actually we're just getting started so there's lots of time to go that goes my show notes excuse me did you see the big in theus? I saw a story today that said that they're making the Olympians sleep on cardboard boxes. So they don't have sex. This is what I was going to talk about. Oh, why? In the holy, hairy testicle, our is every time, every time the Olympics comes by, we have to talk about how many Olympians are getting laid in the Olympic Village.

Starting point is 00:09:06 It seems like this is the story every time about the Olympic Village. Who gives this shit? This has been going on. I can remember this story back in 1996 when the Olympics were here. We have to put the women away from the men because it's gonna be a fuck-festing.

Starting point is 00:09:19 Who cares? That's what young kids do. And they're all like prime of their life athletes. Testosterone, testosterone, estrogen. Everything's flowing. Guys on guys, girls on girls, dogs with cats. I don't know. They're living their best life.

Starting point is 00:09:32 They're living their best life. They're made to the Olympics. Let them have sex. And like one, half of one percent of them are actually going to receive a medal. Let them at least get laid. And who cares? Stop trying to stop them from having sex.

Starting point is 00:09:43 They want to throw condoms everywhere. They want to try and have curfews. Let them have sex. Let the kids cares? Stop trying to stop him from having say, they wanna throw condoms everywhere, they wanna try and have curfews. Let them have sex, let the kids fuck. That's what kids do, they fuck. That's what they do to waste the time. They're stuck in that damn Olympic village. Most of them will never even be on TV. I mean, they might be on TV, but they're like,

Starting point is 00:09:56 MSNBC26, right? And for like, you know, two seconds. Or whatever, most of them are alternates or something, you know, the Hugo Slavian, you know, water polo team. They're never gonna get on television. So for them, it's just a matter of I was there,

Starting point is 00:10:11 I was an Olympian. That's the biggest accomplishment probably they'll ever have in their entire life. Like it should be, right? It's an Olympian. Number one, number two, they're never gonna get any credit or notification besides maybe they're local town or whatever.

Starting point is 00:10:22 Let the kids fuck. That's what I say. Let the kids have fun. Why don't bother them, just leave them be. And by the way, the cardboard box. Yeah, the cardboard box. That's what someone, like some news story ran this and then everybody ran with it.

Starting point is 00:10:34 But then there was an Olympian, an American Olympian, who actually went and said, that's not true. And he started, he was like, you know, he's 215 pounds or something. He started jumping up and down on the cardboard box. It didn't even move, right? So that's not to discourage kids from having. And if you think a cardboard box is gonna discourage kids

Starting point is 00:10:51 from having sex, I was having sex with one leg hanging out of a Jeep. Yeah. Hi, hi, hi. True floing. I had sex in the church directory. Good boy. Listen, it's not gonna stop anybody.

Starting point is 00:11:04 The true story. I had, and I won't say names, so I hope no one, this person's not listening. But I one time had an extremely, extraordinarily tender, romantic in my teenage mind, mind blowing moment with the love of my life at the time on the basement concrete floor of my house. I mean, it was not pretty.

Starting point is 00:11:26 It's not gonna stop any of you from having sex. This was like the, this is like the pinnacle of my teenage life and it happened on a concrete floor. I'll never forget it. And so if you think a cardboard box is gonna stop some kids from having sex, some Olympians from having sex, you got it wrong.

Starting point is 00:11:42 And by the way, can we not make this a story every fucking time the Olympics comes up? Who cares? Yeah, kids are having sex. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Speaking of kids having sex, this is a perfect segue into today's show. What's that?

Starting point is 00:11:55 I, you know, a couple of shows ago, or maybe last show, depending on how you're listening in order, we actually reviewed some old 1940s PSAs. Some of these, so let me explain. There's a television, there's a television, I don't even know what you call it, I guess it's a live TV, running through the HD live TV antennas.

Starting point is 00:12:15 Called Pluto. Pluto is also an app and an online application that you can run on your computer or on your Roku or whatever. And it's got a 1300 channels. And those 1300 channels are each dedicated to one single thing. Family ties channel, all family ties, real world channel, all real world. Now they have the Laguna Beach channel, which I got stuck here watching for 45. I mean, I can get into that channel.

Starting point is 00:12:38 I finished editing last night. We'll turn it on in the break. Well, I finished editing last night, Chrissy. I was so proud of myself. You know, my wife hates it, because usually I'm rolling into bed about 12, 31 o'clock in the morning because this show takes a lot of work.

Starting point is 00:12:50 A lot of work. And you couldn't buy one Patreon subscription, fuckers. You can't buy one sponsorship. So hundreds of thousands of you listening and not one feature. Not one. Well, actually we had 30 people listening at the time. So I get done with this show.

Starting point is 00:13:09 Last night I'm so proud of myself at 10 fucking 15. I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna go into my bedroom. There's gonna be people that are up and I'll get to talk to the mother human beings. And I turn around and I had the Pluto TV on, right? I turn around and I don't know how it happened. I think my son was playing with the remote control. Laguna Beach channel. It landed on Laguna.

Starting point is 00:13:27 Laguna Beach and I got stuck here till 11-05 because I was like, no, Kristen, you can't sleep with Enrique. Yeah. LC don't do it, Steven's just playing you. I was so fascinated and I get why Laguna Hills, like Laguna Beach, was such a fascinating show to us at the time, it still is.

Starting point is 00:13:49 And they made it look so pretty. So that's it. It's like eye candy and ear candy. And nothing interesting is going on, but it's just like the rest of us, our lives are dramatic in some way, shape or form, even the smallest shit. And I was glued to the television,

Starting point is 00:14:02 even though it's been 16 years ago this came on. And I was glued to the television even though it's been 16 years ago this came on. I was glued to the television as if I was watching it for the first time. So now my wife is going to be pissed because I'm going to be in her watch and the gonna be. We'll talk about Laguna Beach on a different episode. The point is there was a 1940s channel that 1940s channel had all 1940s movies along with 1940s PSAs. The old one, you know what, you know, the ones I'm talking about, right? Trouble with women in the workplace, right?

Starting point is 00:14:30 Don't let your son be a homo, right? I mean, it's like crazy propaganda bullshit. Yeah. It's so bad, it's not, it's so bad, it's funny, actually. Now. Now, yeah, not then. Well, I mean, then it was just like, that was just the way of life.

Starting point is 00:14:44 It was news, yeah. You know, Well, I mean, then it was just like, that was just the way of life. It was news. Yeah, you know, a GE came up with a dishwasher and that was news for the women because, you know, their lives were all the sudden so much easier. The pinnacle of their life was the dishwasher that could hold two racks of dishes at the same time. It's completely so far away from what we know today,

Starting point is 00:15:00 yet some of these attitudes are back in vogue. It's insane to me. Some of these attitudes are back in vogue. It's insane to me. Yeah. Some of these attitudes are back in vogue. It's cool in some circles to think like this again. So I've been reviewing 1940s PSAs and I've got a few. We did women last time. I've got a few that focus on dating and relationships. And I thought we'd review them. Okay. Speaking of sex. What do you think? Let's do it. Let's get right into it. Which one we should start with? Let's start with how to date. You ready? Okay. All's get right into it. Which one we should start with let's start with How to date you ready? Okay. All right here we go

Starting point is 00:15:33 Good in the government was gonna tell us that the government's gonna tell us how to date This is a story about what to do on a date This is a story about little Jimmy his sexual or just This is a story about what to do on and I. And I don't mean to date with your hand, an actual woman, Jimmy. OK, here we'll repeat. Or a balloon. Balloons are cool too.

Starting point is 00:15:53 This is a story about what to do on a date. It begins one early summer afternoon. It begins with Jeff MK and Jimmy and Tandy it's a big old you I tell you All the kids have a key a cocky party later on tonight They're gonna take their mom and dad's medicines and drop trout And Nick whoa there's like four people in Boston. It's a double date. That's risky. It's a double date, please.

Starting point is 00:16:37 Of course, you may not have a problem about what to do on a date, but Nick, well, he has a real dating problem. If he took K out on a date, but Nick, well, he has a real dating problem. If he took care out on a date, what would they do? Where would they go? How would he get in a pants? So where would they go? Where would they go? What would they do? What would he do about his massive erection? Yeah. Jim's got a real problem. He has a surprise. Been walking around with a bonafo four days.

Starting point is 00:17:11 Just a minute, Jeff. I'll get my tennis racket. OK, Nick, but hurry. Because that's a real teenage conversation that happened. Just one moment, Nick, while I get my tennis racket. OK, I'll be down here waiting for you. You got a nice ass, Jimmy. You too, Mick. Why don't you come down here and give me a kiss. Hey, what about asking Kay

Starting point is 00:17:32 to come to the community center with us on Friday to fix up that scavenger sale? Sounds like a real hot dick, Jimmy. How could she refuse? It's like community center for the scavengers, they all. Oh, okay. 1940 was so fucking boring. Kids today, kids today are like, what do you say we go rob a bank? We'll do some hair on the way to jail. We could make it a double day.

Starting point is 00:17:58 What? What? I thought you were in love with me. But I just thought I thought we were going to tell me We're gonna tell the world Jimmy Not too soon bail too soon you heard what I said You heard what I said this sounds like a parent talking to you heard what I said Jimmy's a little aggressive Yeah

Starting point is 00:18:23 Yeah, I know you are what I said you'd be like bitch I'm B rock you can't talk to me like that We're gonna get into 90s training videos at some point and I was watching and they all seemed to incorporate bad rap They all have some white guy. They all have some white guy. This name rocks something, you know, a rock, b-rock, like the Burger King ones. What, what, what, what? You're for a Pepsi? Let's rap about it.

Starting point is 00:18:56 You gotta put the Pepsi in the right flow. You know what's gonna go when you've got it to go. That's no place to take a girl on a date. You asshole! That's no place to take a woman on a date. The community center for the scavenger. Get down and give me 20! These guys are friends by the way.

Starting point is 00:19:17 The way they talk to each other back then. That's no way to talk to a woman. Except the scavenger's sale. Is it? Why not? On a first date? First date! I talked to a woman. Except the scavenger's sail. Is it? Why not? On a first date? First date?

Starting point is 00:19:28 Yeah. Well, K's a swell girl. How was gonna- I was thinking of Conninger, maybe ask her to the show Friday. Good picture. Lagantrain. Well, hurry up and call her and let's get going. Hurry up asshole Come on you fucking niggas get your shit together. I got all day. I got a tennis racket. I got to go meet Betty at the point

Starting point is 00:19:56 I need a hand job. I What are you waiting for? I'm gonna take it to the show real good picture called wagon train. Wagon train. Wagon train. Hey, Fettie. You want to go watch a wagon train? No, I'm sorry. I've got to watch my air. I've got to listen. I've got to watch my air.

Starting point is 00:20:15 Listen to my swing records and write some letters. I still have to get my things yet. Colored now? Sure. You know the number number don't you? Okay One two three four five That was it that was it five numbers she says no

Starting point is 00:20:47 I end up five numbers yeah five numbers on a. That was a rotary phone for all your kids As you don't even know what that is. I'm like where's the people pop who poop where's Siri? Yeah, hey Siri call a petty hurry up. I got a tennis match. Yeah, so oh Hello, okay, this is Nick Baxter. Oh, hello, Nick. You know, the one that was arrested a couple days ago. How are you? Fine, thanks.

Starting point is 00:21:14 Say Kay, Nick's Friday, would you like to see Wagon train at the movies? Oh, I'm sorry, Nick. I suppose you've got your line made up to see it. You've seen it? She's seen it what do I do I'm What if this is you and me? Hey K. It's Brian. Oh hi Brian. I was hoping you wanted to see the old western western god horses and dogs oh too bad I already saw that you did she already saw it what next see ya bye sorry I even asked K bitch K's I've only seen it what do I do he's please see he's flamix he's pretty I don't know what to do yeah he's fleas, he's fleumics. He's freaking. I don't know what to do. Yeah, he's freaking. Ask her to the community center for the scavenger. For the scavenger sale.

Starting point is 00:22:08 And what girl could resist? Right. We're going to go. It's exciting. We're going to go do community service hours. I'm on probation. You want to join me? I've got an ankle monitor.

Starting point is 00:22:22 We'll ask her about the scavenger sale. Go ahead. Hurry up. about the scavenger set. Go ahead. Oh, hurry up. She's on the other line. Five minutes later, K's like, hello? Hello? Uh, K, you wouldn't want to help get the scavenger set already at the community center. Would you? No, I would not!

Starting point is 00:22:43 Got a date is that? I'm a slob girl. Take me up to the point and fuck me, that's the kind of girl I am! I'm in touch with my sexuality. Oh, I've been hearing about that. Yes, I'd like to very much. I read about it on Facebook. You would? All right, I'll call for you then.

Starting point is 00:23:04 About seven? Bye. Call for call for you then. About 7? Bye. Call for you, what the hell is that? Call around? Better! Better! Better! Better!

Starting point is 00:23:19 It's about 7! Where are you, better? Oh, I think I hear Gina calling for me. Better! We better get to the community, send a quick! Seven-O-Five! The clothes did all! There's my daughter responding. I said Betty and she was like, Daddy! Daddy! I sure didn't think she'd go to a place like that for a day.

Starting point is 00:23:45 I took her for more of an underground rave kind of girl. Where's my rack? Oh, ready? You know, you better think some more, fellow, about what to do on a date. You know, you're a real jerk off. It doesn't have anything. First for a day. You better get your shit together, Billy. You're never going to get laid-back to my bed. You're getting some more of this. I can't believe I get you all shit together, Villy. You're never gonna get laid

Starting point is 00:24:05 acting like that. You're getting some more of this. I can't believe I let you give you a red jump. I got my doubts. I'm like, you're succeeding. I got my doubts. Now come over here and we're gonna practice out of kiss. Ha ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:24:19 Do you think you'll have a good time? Well, I know, jerk off. I got a question to that. Jimmy's a real asshole. How do I know, jackass? I got a question to that. Jimmy's a real asshole. Oh, man. It's like, what do you suppose I'll have to do? You know who I'll turn around? What, they're at the community center. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Sounds like a real hop and time going on over there. Hop and...

Starting point is 00:24:52 Now, you may not have thought of this sort of thing as a place to take a date. No, I had not. No narrator, I never thought about this. But it looks like it could be fun. Plenty of kids, there's lots of ecstasy. 10 minutes, having a great time. Look, there's lots of ecstasy, some minutes, having a great time. Look, there's Jimmy with some mushroom caps. Bellies got that new green winky winky from Southern California. Look, there's some sticky-yiggy. Look, there's some sticky-yiggy. There's some purples and some blues. There's Danny handing out some jealous for all the boys. It's gonna be a long night at the scavenger.

Starting point is 00:25:30 And look, it's B-rock-o. Spinning the records. Bickety, bickety, bitty. Look, Bobby's got a hold of his mom's opiate prescription. It's bound to be a swell time. A group, doing things together. A group, having an orgy together. Doing things together. Exploring each other orgy together exploring each other's

Starting point is 00:26:06 sexuality the way it was meant to be in a community. Exactly like it's like we're watching National Geographic like it's like a group. A group of tigers doing things together. Young human males and females interacting with each other isn't this what life is all about. Look at the alpha male

Starting point is 00:26:24 over there with the tennis racket. Telling the other boys what to do and not to do. When you get her in the back of the car, pin it in the seat. Don't ask her any questions. Just go for it. Make out with her heart. Oh, it means the price of that's what these things

Starting point is 00:26:39 were actually saying. Oh my God. God. It's in 1940s. Pretty good idea for a first date. Oh my god. God. It's place. 1940s. Ah. Pretty good idea for a first date. Plenty to do, plenty of people to talk to. Plenty of booze to go around.

Starting point is 00:26:55 What, let's see if Nick and Kay are enjoying. Let's check it on Nick and Kay, the Duke Lulest Deagers, the beginning of the film. Nick still asking questions of Jimmy. Hey, Jimmy. Do you think I should talk to Kay? She's right next to you, yes, oh? What should I say, Jimmy?

Starting point is 00:27:15 Say hello, Elise. I'm not quick. God, I don't know all this stuff. It's my first time being a human being. Oh, I'm not supposed to make this thing look any older. Boy, that is an old timer. Boy, that is an old timer. Oh.

Starting point is 00:27:30 An old timer. We're probably talking about their 20 year old teacher. Geez. I know. Old timers. You know the old timers, they get younger as you get older. You know what I'm saying? Like when you're seven, an old timer is a 14 year old.

Starting point is 00:27:44 Right. And when you're 14, an old timer is like a 25 year old. And when you're 25, an old timer is like a 40 year old. But when you get 40, an old timer is a 90 year old. You're like, yeah, I'm right. I'm anywhere between 40 and 75 is still young. I'm sure of it. I'm not on my, I'm not on the backside of life. I haven't passed the halfway market

Starting point is 00:28:07 By the time I get old they'll have things to make me feel bad Listen to that hop and music then It's a precursor to rock and roll is called the soundtrack from wagon wheel Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Can you help me put the sign up? I want to take a look at you guys. I can't quite reach that far. How's this? That's about right. I'm a woman and un-technically in this movie I can't do anything. You might want that sign up, I can't reach. I'm not supposed to go on my ladder.

Starting point is 00:29:04 Just say, K, are you really having a good time? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:29:12 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:29:20 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so gonna go up there, you mind dropping me off? Of course I am. I'm practically pregnant already. So am I. I mean, yes it was a good idea. Okay, how about helping with refreshments for the game? Alright.

Starting point is 00:29:41 Alright, I'll spike the punch. See you later. Oh, uh, uh, yeah, sure. All right, all right, I'll spike the punch Yeah sure Hey Jimmy I also she's having a good time and she she left Should I chase her? Of course you should you doing that get your leash out and bring it back in John anymore tax. I think it over there by the door. Yes, it was a good idea to come here. How does Jeff get ideas like that? Hey, what's this? Hey! Maybe this? Uh-oh, what's this? Who took the penis out? Uh-oh, what's this? Who took the penis out? Uh oh, what's this? Oh, that's old Jimmy.

Starting point is 00:30:28 Showing Billy how to do things. This is what friends do. What to do? What to do? Well, I don't know how to give myself a hand job. Let me show you. God damn it. Hold my tennis racket.

Starting point is 00:30:42 This is where Jeff gets ideas. myself a hand job. Let me show you, God damn it. Hold my tennis racket. This is where Jeff gets ideas. This is where Jeff gets ideas in the shower with Billy. Just of coming activities. Oh. That could be a lot of fun. A chance to do things with a group to get acquainted. It does look like a good time. Away from sex and drugs and smoking cigarettes. What are they doing in a bike trip? A bike trip.

Starting point is 00:31:13 That's where they get ideas. There's a board. There's a community board at the community center. Right, and it had a bunch of stuff like, you know, Bike trips, 7 a.m. on Tuesday or whatever. And he's like, where does Billy get all these great ideas on the community board of course It's like Facebook partner like

Starting point is 00:31:35 Would Kay enjoy a bike trip don't ask a just assume Who doesn't love a we need roast? Good old wini roast. Good old wini roast. It's back in vogue, the wini roast, by the way. Another group date. A chance to learn the given take of working and playing together. Not much arranging needed, not much expense. And that can be important.

Starting point is 00:32:02 Could be a fine date if K would like it. Wonder if she'd like to go to a baseball game. A date that's not too involved, one you can carry through comfortably. And there are all sorts of other sports events, inexpensive dates most of them. Swimming meets, for example. Swimming meets? Swimming meets is 12 hours long Swimming meets. That's swimming me just 12 hours long. What's fun about that?

Starting point is 00:32:27 Watching other people swim. I mean, besides the Olympics, I have found it. That swimming meet is not fun at all, Bob. Bob. A baseball game, a football game. Going down to the local garage and watching an oil change. All these things could be done with little to no expense. And that can be important because you're a cheap skater. Ha ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:32:46 Don't spend any money on that woman. You'll need your money later for the divorce. Ha ha ha ha. 1969 is coming right around the corner. It's called the Summer of Love. You can find many good ideas for dates. Dates that give you a good chance to get acquainted. And dates that you don't have to worry too much about in advance.

Starting point is 00:33:14 Dates that give you zero to little chance of getting pregnant. That's what I'm trying to tell you, Barry. That's the message we're giving you here. It was a good deal coming here tonight, double dating with Jeff and Phyllis. On all four are good friends and enjoy the same things, double dates can be lots of fun. And they usually end with Lincoln Twister. Look here's Phyllis on all fours. Get that green dot. Get that green dot Phyll. Go, girl, go.

Starting point is 00:33:46 Or you can ask Kade to go on dates with you alone. If you plan for what she enjoys. Hey, you loafer. What are you doing over there? You're right there. Hey, you shithead. Jimmy's the worst friend. Hey, you lazy sack of shit.

Starting point is 00:34:04 Hey, you lazy sack of shit. Hey, you lazy second shit what are you doing? Yeah I'm talking to you. Stand up, sit down, sit down boy! Find the thing, as soon as KS and Aronda supervise you go off in a vacation. You know, Maestro, I don't think your data ideas are so original. What? About what to do on a data I mean. But what I'd like to know is, how can you figure out what a girl would like to do?

Starting point is 00:34:44 A certain girl I mean. Well, you might ask her. You don't mind if I ask Phyllis, do you? You don't mind if I ask Phyllis to join us at the point, Leyla, do you? Yeah, next looking for you. Because she's a company. He always seems so quiet. We get along all right. We get along all right.

Starting point is 00:35:11 He's kind of an asshole. Yeah. He doesn't have much to say. I'm not all that interested. But he did take me here to the community center for a scavenger. He's got a good sense of humor. We haven't run out of things to say yet. But he's got no money and he's only got 15 Instagram followers.

Starting point is 00:35:26 I'm not sure he's right for me. I'm looking for more of the influencer type. Strong body, big peck. Look at Jimmy over there. He's an alpha male. I was thinking of asking him and Philus if I could join later on today. Kinda cute. Jimmy can watch.

Starting point is 00:35:40 He likes to cuckold. My date and the guess? I don't know. Besides, you haven't asked me. George, get out of there. I'm hungry. If you want to do something, take the coax out there. Take, not.

Starting point is 00:35:52 Oh, there you go. All set? Take the coax out there. Stop messing with my poo-poo platter. I arranged all those carrots and the green bean casserole with shaved parmesan and orange juice. I spent all day on those mashed potatoes with green peas and pineapple chunks. Jesus Billy, take the coke out there.

Starting point is 00:36:19 I think so. Come and get it everybody. Come on, we ain't. Come on, get it. I put GHB in the Coke. I mean, they're really going through the intricate details. They're going through every single detail of this day. They want you to know.

Starting point is 00:36:36 The one thing I've noticed about these PSAs is they leave no detail unattended. I cut out big parts of these PSAs. Like, there is, let's go here. We'll move to the one about affection, a too much affection, right? This one's about sex essentially is what this is about. We'll move to this one, but what I want you to know about this is,

Starting point is 00:36:53 there are parts that there's just music playing and it's a little bit slow without any talking. That is after I cut out 50% of the silence in this movie. When they show Billy and Jane walking, like, from going from the car to the front door, they show Billy and Jane every bit of them. And the front door is not, it's not close. It's like 48 steps away. It takes six and a half minutes for them

Starting point is 00:37:17 to get to the front door and they just play music over it. That's all they do. People add much longer attention to fans back then. People were dumb back then. They were like, I can't believe that's true. people had much longer attention to things like that. People were dumb back then, they were like, I can't get that straight. Wait, how did they get from the car to the front door? I didn't see the last five steps.

Starting point is 00:37:34 Am I supposed to make the assumption? They just walked up there? This movie's ridiculous. I want to run it back. Ready? A faction. Are you wondering when the white time is to stick it in? Sick of saying just the tip. Dry, humping, got you down. General Electric presents.

Starting point is 00:38:06 Get that willy wet. A fiction. Violinists had a lot more work back then by the time they did. Oh, real sound effects. They probably had real crickets on set. Yeah, yeah. Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, wait, wait, I'm sorry, Mary. Yeah, yeah Oh Mary's up there. Mary is that you dear? Mary is that is that you I didn't see you all 48 steps to the front door Everything yes, mother.

Starting point is 00:38:52 Did you have a nice time, dear? Very nice, thanks. That doesn't sound nice. That doesn't sound nice. Sounds like Mary's conflicted about something. Yeah, it sounds like Mary and James got into a little bit of a tiff. Well, you don't look much like a girl who's been out having a wonderful evening. You make up, Zawlsman! Where's your bra?

Starting point is 00:39:11 Oh, mother. Oh, mother. Oh, mother. Oh, mother. And what's the matter, dear? Do you remember when you told me that I might I might have such strong feelings about a boy that it might be hard for me to decide what's right to do? Yes, I remember. Why?

Starting point is 00:39:34 It was something like that tonight with Jeff. Oh, Jeff, I couldn't be your Jeff. It was something like that with tonight with Jeff. I said something similar. He was holding my hand at the sock hop and I think we almost had sex. It was scary. It was crazy. I had such a tickle in my pic like I can tell you, mother. Oh, Jayny, I've been there before. Your mom had sex with 30 men before she got married. Let me tell you about it. Come sit down on the bed and let me tell you how to perform 4, 3,000 with the extend of vibrating ring.

Starting point is 00:40:07 You know I like them an awful lot and we have such fun at dances. But tonight, the feeling between us kept getting stronger and stronger. And his penis kept getting stronger and longer. Longer. Something was growing down there, mother, and I don't know what it was. Our way home was stopped in park. Oh, and then things seemed to happen. To renewing.

Starting point is 00:40:43 Kissed. To we nearly touched? In a parked position. It was so close, Mother. I think I'm pregnant. It was so close. Suddenly I realized what we were about to do. I asked Jeff to take me home. I asked Jeff to put my gloves back on and take me home. Yes, he felt a shame too.

Starting point is 00:41:14 Said he was sorry that it was his fault. Do you think it was his fault? Oh, mother, I don't know what to think. I'm so mixed up. I don't know whether I even want to go out with Jeff again. Geez. No wonder nobody has sex. I'm just like, there's a whole guilt fucking. God, I know.

Starting point is 00:41:33 And I mean, it's probably, you know, this is, this is why the entirety of the United States of America is an appearance and fucking mess. That's why half of the United States is completely evangelical and doesn't and thinks everything is you know press. Yeah, they're so oppressed and everything is should be oppressed and that's the way it should be forever and ever. And the other half of America is wilding out. Yeah, whew. Dicks flying everywhere because this shit was going on back in the forest. This is crazy. Yeah, the best loose.

Starting point is 00:42:06 Yeah, like can you say, hey, you know, we parked and, you know, I got the third base, you know, I was giving Jimmy a hand shandy. He was fingering me and guess what, mom? We almost did it. Yeah. But I remembered what you said. We should have a condom. We didn't have a condom.

Starting point is 00:42:18 And so I told him to take me home. That's not how it is. Me and Jimmy, oh, mom, the feeling was growing stronger. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I'm confused. Well, Jayny, thank God you made the right decision and came to your mother.

Starting point is 00:42:33 I'm going to lock you with a chest that you built. Right. No, dear. I was young once too. It was 1826. It sounds haggar. No, no. It was 1826. We sounds haggar. No, no. It was 1826.

Starting point is 00:42:45 We had just gotten off the Nina. And your father was on the Santa Maria. Yeah, 1622. Perhaps I can understand something of what you feel. First, well, it all seems quite a large you like someone he likes you everything is fun and affection then then then the devil gets old

Starting point is 00:43:20 of his penis and all the sudden he shootin' gizz everywhere. It's literally a gizz factory in there. Turn. It's unbelievable. Everything stiff and hard and he can't stop gizzing. You don't know what's going on. You're seven times pregnant and this... Your whole life is ruined, Janie. I'm telling you this is the way it works You better keep those breasts covered

Starting point is 00:43:49 To drive them to jizz all it was My god, I'm sorry mom and dad. I know you want me to be a lawyer. I'm thinking I know you want me to be a lover or something. And here I am. With a cool shade. Talking about... That just found... I love you. Thank you for everything you gave me. I really am grateful.

Starting point is 00:44:26 I've no- I've wasted this particular lifetime. I promise in the next one I'll make up for it. I'll save an orphanage or something. Oh my god. Oh. I don't know why. I just looked at myself and I thought what do my parents think of me? They turn the show on and I know my dad listens sometimes. He's probably like goddamn

Starting point is 00:44:55 It's such high-hose they come out so young and sparkly and giggly just like my children There's so wonderful and 40 some odd years later. They're talking about a giz found. I'm wearing a gold shade. And wearing a gold shade in the TCB TV minus studios. Broadcasting to six people through. What? Three of them.

Starting point is 00:45:19 Which I'm in a country that doesn't even speak English. Ha, ha, ha. Oh. Ha, ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I My vagina came out and swallowed him whole mother He's in there right now, I don't know what happened It's it started with a robin then a finger and an entire fist. I don't know what happened mother He's gone I jumped on his face! I rode him like a cowboy! He took off his pantaloons and shit went crazy! And it was quite the scene, mother. We're gonna have to clean the car for days!

Starting point is 00:46:17 DEEZ! The windows are covered in material. I don't even know what it is, mother. It's the devil juice you speak of. Lots of love and affection. Can suddenly get twisted. Mother is it wrong to feel warm and affectionate when you... when you're with a boy you really like? No dear, it is not wrong. Because this feeling can grow into a full bone orgasm. Into a love that will last. It's the way happy marriage is a build.

Starting point is 00:46:56 But Mary, if these strong feelings lead you into behaving unwisely, well, the outcome can be guilt and frustration. Pregnancy and sexual satisfaction and liberation. Yeah, frustration, please. My God, the bullshit these people were spewing, unbelievable. Merry, congratulations, you have a tickle in your pickle. Let me show you what to do with it. And these are the things that can spoil the chance of you're finding the very love that you're looking for.

Starting point is 00:47:30 In the middle of the... A spoil. Yes, you'll be spoiled. Uh-huh. If your hymen's not there when you were getting married, as those instantane is an instant divorce, there. It gets a pass. Trust me, Mary, I've been through it 20 times.

Starting point is 00:47:44 How do you come here dear? What's happening? She's hugging her, I think. Let me check. Let me make sure nothing on Todd has gone on. You got that right. That's true, Stabin. But if you just slow down the rush and pressure of your feelings a little, then judgment has a better chance to take hold and guide you away from wrong behavior. Wow, that was a mouthful of bullshit and scaring kids away from sex. Can you believe this?

Starting point is 00:48:30 Honestly, can you believe this? Well, I went to Catholic school all my life. I'm familiar with this kind of language. Yeah, wrong behavior, guilt and frustration, slow it down, slow it down. How do you stop a teenager? Slow a teenager. Get between two teenagers making out that are... Two say a teenus. A teenus. You slow a teenus down. How do you stop a teen, slow it, slow a teenager. Get between two teenagers making out that are- You say a teen is. Teen is.

Starting point is 00:48:48 You slow a teen is down. I can't slow a teen is down. It's a twangy penis. It's a teenage penis. It's a teenage penis. You can't slow a teen is down. When the teen is gets between us. I can't go back to the show.

Starting point is 00:49:04 You can't go back to the show. It's really hard. Try and get between a young man and his boner. When you can rely on judgment rather than emotion to rule your behavior as you did tonight, then you'll really be grown up. I can help by talking things over with you. Standing in front of you, going on dates with you, locking you in the basement. And giving suggestions.

Starting point is 00:49:37 But you'll have to work out your own best way to make emotions work for you and not against you. Oh my God, just so much guilt in this, like so much guilt. And now that, because even when we're teenagers, like our parents' words are ringing through our heads at all times, right? That's what parent, that's what the parent child relationship is all about is like, even though you might do something different than what your parents are telling you, trust me, those words are coming back to you, right? At least for me, they were. I never listened to to you, right? At least for me, they were.

Starting point is 00:50:05 I never listened to a fucking thing, but at least for me, they were. So, you know, this poor girl is just trying to neck a little bit. She's trying to get her rocks off and be a sexually liberated woman and take control of her sexuality. And all she hears is wrong headed behavior leads to guilt and dissociation and just slow it down, Mary.

Starting point is 00:50:23 You'll be ruined for all of you. You'll be ruined. How will you ever get married when you had sex with someone else? Hi. So now they're back in class together. We may have to... Huh? Man. So much space. Really taking it slow.

Starting point is 00:50:50 The movie took the advice. I just like to say I'm sorry about what happened last Saturday. I don't know what happened last Saturday. My penis just took control. I've never seen it act like that. You saw me. I was trying to calm it down. Get down, penis. Get down. But it turned into a penis.

Starting point is 00:51:27 My dad warned me that this would happen. He gave me a hammer for just the chicken occasion. It wasn't because I think of you as that kind of girl or anything like that. It's because I want you to be that kind of girl. I was going to see if you were. Yeah, I just want to just a lot of it. Not because I think of you like that. I was just hoping you'd be like that. It's just that...

Starting point is 00:51:53 I don't know. No, I don't know. I'm just horny. No, no, no. I just want to get laid. Can you blame a boy? He's so terrific and we've been together all evening. I just don't know what happened to me. I get it. I've had a few late nights at bars right here the same way. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to me We've been together all evening taking shots a year and I just I Was blackout drunk. I don't know what got into me. I got a penis.

Starting point is 00:52:26 I got a penis. I had an attack on a penis. It was out of control. You know the name of this episode is gonna be attacked on a penis. Attack on a penis! Martinez! Take it my dearest! Martinez! There comes the dearest! Buddy! Buddy! It's my dearest! It's coming for you! I agree with you. I didn't say it out so late anyway. I was just as much my fault as it was yours.

Starting point is 00:53:05 I agree with you. You missed it out so late anyway. You're the nicest girl I've ever met. Oh. Wow, you got a smooth mouth, Bob. You're the nicest girl I've ever met. I think you're just wonderful. Listen to how some of these kids talk to these women today.

Starting point is 00:53:24 Hey, girlie, what's up of these kids start with these women today? Hey girl, hey, what's up? Woo-woo! Nice, eh? Shake it like you got it! Tonk, tonk, tonk, tonk. Biggity, biggity, bee! Be rock!

Starting point is 00:53:35 Be rock! Be rock! We have so much fun together that I should hit the room everything. So would I. With my teenies. Yeah. With teenies. I didn't even hear much of them.

Starting point is 00:53:49 What do you mean? They were at school and a bunch of kids walked in the door. Just give anything for. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Starting point is 00:53:59 Hi. Hi. What's that? It's my teenies. We'll leave you to alone. We'll leave you to alone. We'll leave you free alone. Billy Patti and Tinas were in the print shop and all of a sudden we heard noises. I walked in and it was a juice fountain.

Starting point is 00:54:17 Billy was literally like a sprinkler shooting off left and right. Like a sprinkler shooting off left it right I can't stop my penis It's not a control. I knew we should have slowed down at the height of emotion No, I can't stop it. It's a jeez factory I just have this big shirt. It's a black and white. It's a black teenage boy. Yeah, this is like a penis.

Starting point is 00:54:52 Just shoot material everywhere. People walking in getting in the face. Stay away to paint the scene. The teen is the sound. It's not going to teen us. Call the principal. The fire department. The T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T-the T- Oh, okay now, everything is about finished. The last spectacular issue of this year's signpost has to be ready for the lucky students of Central High that they have to tomorrow. Mary House Out Literary Page shaping up.

Starting point is 00:55:36 They're doing the yearbook, I know, but listen. They try, like it's just like any stupid education film that I make hip to the times. The signpost at Central High. They take a lot of time to think of the names of these poses. It's not very spectacular. One story and one poem and that's all. Don't. Just the pictures. Just the pictures. I got those pictures of Prince of Oma Gaw bending over the table with his lover. Yeah, we need more pictures, don't we?

Starting point is 00:56:09 We should do. Drawings would be cheaper. If I lean we're still here, we'd be set. She could rip up some great little cartoons at no time. For I lean. She could rip up some great cartoons of principles to it over the desk. She's probably so busy looking after the baby. She's gotten to get everything. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:56:32 Have the baby already? Sure. Five months after the wedding. How's that for a shop guy there, eh? Stupid. Don't be so crude. I feel kind of sorry for Fred. You always wanted to be a lawyer.

Starting point is 00:56:44 Yeah. Just like Ryan. You always wanted to be a lawyer. Yeah. Just like Brian. He always wanted to be a lawyer. He always wanted to be a lawyer. Now he's podcasting. Ever since he let the height of emotion get the best of him with Astrid. He's been a podcast. Look at him now.

Starting point is 00:57:02 Gold Jane Paul cat. He's parents won't even look at him. I hear he doesn't even call his mom and dad anymore. I haven't seen Brian in ages. That's because he's been in this studio trying to make ends meet with his $20 a week job. Something about a podcast. He's got two children. He let his teenies get the best of them.

Starting point is 00:57:34 He got to take control of the teen. So he's Brian. Now I guess he's got to keep any job just so we can look after our lean in the baby. Even when it pays nothing. It just keeps on podcasting over and over again. No money, no life. Oh, because of that, Titus. I mean, it was a real good friend of mine. I surprised when she left school.

Starting point is 00:58:00 And then when she got married, imagine marrying someone who has to marry That's half a billion people in India. That's working out actually it works out a lot Sometimes have to was the kind of the best way to do it. Yeah, if your picker is bad You and you and you Right, make it work Statistically, this works about 65% of the time sorry if you're part of the 35 Don't trust your own picker solving our picture problem. Hey, Terry. I got it I didn't have a whole bunch of cartoons. We didn't use last year. I bet we could use some of those

Starting point is 00:58:36 Why didn't you think of that? Well, I didn't you think of that Here comes Billy the asshole Well, you such a dear Sbag You better settle that teen is down Stupid I guess okay everybody same time tomorrow after I said you stupid I guess Wow, these teenagers remain back then I Mean I think they're any nicer now,

Starting point is 00:59:06 but it's still politically correct. You would think if you called someone stupid, you could get arrested. You could have summons to court these days. And by the way, that was the shortest meeting of the newspaper meeting ever. What about the pictures? Now we ain't got none.

Starting point is 00:59:21 How's the editorial? It sucks. Okay, this time tomorrow great. Why don't you think that? Well I'll be back tomorrow for more bad ideas. Make sure you show up no reason for tomorrow. It's kind of like every meeting I ever had a clear channel. Only much longer. Much longer with absolutely no purpose. You know what? We may have to do a second episode on just that. On just that one particular,

Starting point is 00:59:59 because I think there's like five more minutes of it left. That's really funny. We were on a roll there. The date is. Yeah, but you know, you get into an hour and then you fear that people are just gonna turn it off anyway, so you don't want to talk to nobody. Even though we've had some people say go longer, go longer.

Starting point is 01:00:15 But, you know, there's a lot of things to be considered, going longer. We've got two shows to do every week. We've got lots of content to fill. Sometimes going longer sounds like a great idea in theory, but then in practice, it means we're talking for a lot longer. And you get hired after that.

Starting point is 01:00:32 Not on an episode like this though, that was fun. I had a good time. Thank you. Thank you for joining in my team. Okay, that's it. So here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna go to tcbpodcast.com. You're gonna read all the show notes, you're gonna

Starting point is 01:00:45 find out more about Chrissy and I, you're gonna learn where you can go and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break on YouTube. Slash the commercial break YouTube.com slash the commercial break. And you can write to us from there info at tcbpodcast.com. And please do because we're out left and right if you write and you like a sprinkler it's like a paper Bored Jimmy stuck to the wall. It was just trying to help. Oh, that's great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great.

Starting point is 01:01:34 It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great.

Starting point is 01:01:42 It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. It was great. If you have a good idea for a show or you have a video or something that you think is you know absurd and funny that Chrissy and I could rip on We're always considering we're always considering send it on to info at tcb podcast.com DM us at the commercial break or what you know however you want to get a hold of us But here's what you can do please 470 5 8 4 8 4 4 9 I'd like you to leave a message a message for the tcb crew or about the tcb crew So you'll hear some examples in the last couple of episodes

Starting point is 01:02:05 where people are like, hey, this is whoever, from wherever, you know, and I listen to the commercial break, you know, when I'm driving to work. Or, hey, this is whoever, and you know, I get all my dating advice from the commercial break. It's a bad idea, but. Yeah. So leave us a message on that phone number,

Starting point is 01:02:19 and then just assume we'll be using it in a future episode. We'd like that. We'd like if more people would do that. And if it's good or bad, we'll run it. We actually ran a couple good, a couple bad. So there you go. And make sure you follow us on YouTube and watch the videos all the way to the end.

Starting point is 01:02:39 I think it's number 85 that it starts at, all the way to the end, because I have been putting Easter eggs inside of these videos that are little clues. Those little clues are going to add up over the next 10 to 12 weeks and it's going to be our next giveaway. And you know how we roll. We like big giveaways.

Starting point is 01:02:55 We like to have fun with it. So those Easter eggs, those little clues, are eventually going to lead to an answer. And when I ask the question, you'll know what the answer is. And if you give me the answer after I ask the question, you're enrolled to win. No purchase necessary. Ah! Standard text messaging rates do apply 4705848449.

Starting point is 01:03:14 Leave us that message. Okay, I said I was gonna shorten up those bumpers. I have done nothing of the sort. Ha ha ha ha ha. I think I made them longer, actually. Ha ha ha ha. Okay, I love you. What else can we do?

Starting point is 01:03:27 What else can we do today? I know, okay, I love you. You love me. Best of you, Chrissy. We're a perfect family. Best of you. We're a perfect family with a ding dong verbatim. With a baby. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- Okay, best of you.

Starting point is 01:03:45 Best of you out there in the podcast audience and we say until next time, bye! The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now, Fridays, new YouTube clips dropped daily at youtube.com, slas the commercial break. Visit tcvpodcast.com for access to our entire media light grab. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrisy Hojley with a digital content provided by Tina Kano. Talk about podcasting. Talk about podcasting. First rule of podcasting.

Starting point is 01:04:26 First rule of podcasting. Second rule of podcasting. You're gonna get laid. Just gonna take a while. Third rule of podcasting. Refer to rule number two. We promise. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.

Starting point is 01:05:28 I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.

Starting point is 01:05:44 I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.

Starting point is 01:06:00 I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

Starting point is 01:06:16 I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.

Starting point is 01:06:32 I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. The I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

Starting point is 01:07:08 I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

Starting point is 01:07:24 I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.

Starting point is 01:07:40 I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.

Starting point is 01:07:56 I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. you Yn yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld.

Starting point is 01:09:12 Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld. Yn yw'n gweld.

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The Commercial Break - Attack Of The Teenis!

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