The Commercial Break - Barbed Wire & The Frozen Face

Episode Date: June 10, 2022

Chilis is a fast casual restaurant that, at its zenith, was a very popular place for families and friends to eat and drink. Now, it is just a dirty dining room with petri dishes as tables and dirty iPads replacing the wait staff! Bryan shares about his latest and last visit to Chilis. Norovirus is known as the "vomiting virus" for good reason and the Green family has learned why! Finally, Frankie B is back with more of his Top 3 tips to take 10 years of your look! The gang reviews the second half of this incredibly hilarious clip! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this episode of the commercial break Come on out of Chili's yeah come on down to Chili's Texas farting the shit burger We got Nora virus to For Jack down vomiting no charge Chili! Chili, I want my baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, she's been in the shiver for three fucking hours. Da, da, da, da, da.

Every couple of minutes, she'd be like, ooh, da, da, da, da coming out of her mouth. And then we that, here's what we do. They get her out of the bed, clean her off, put her in the shower, she screams and cries more. Matty comes into the shower because he thinks he got vomit on him that he didn't. He's picked up my oceny. It's unbelievable. These threads, now, you'll insert into the

the sockets below your eyes up over here. And you'll watch anywhere in the cheek. And once you put these threads in there it causes an injury and then what happens The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Chris and Joy, oh the, Chrissy Best of You. Best of You, Ryan. Best of You, out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on the other episode of this little commercial break. The only commercial break you'll ever need. Get our ND, back news or fiction,

30 seconds or less, or your money back. Woo! Ha ha ha! Ba da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da 99 cents because that's what we could not convince you to spend a month on the commercial break or was it a dollar 99? I think it was like a dollar 99. I think we get to, we're gonna give you the commercial break, commercial free, an extra episode when you couldn't get anywhere else for a dollar 99. When you cheap skates couldn't be bothered, couldn't be bothered. Fuck you.

We're gonna have 26 commercials by the end of 2020. Hey, where are they, sir? We're gonna have 40 minutes of content and 50 minutes of commercial. I'm gonna put a commercial every minute. I'm gonna put a two minute commercial every minute. And now this. It's like the Dr. Phil show. How are we gonna do a combo? Combo commercial.

Oh, combo commercial. Commercial breaking commercial. I like the idea. It's like a Dr. Phil episode. Every 15 seconds that guy takes a commercial break. Unbelievable. I've never seen so many commercials in a television show, except for maybe like a basketball game.

Right? Like a, you know, March Madness game where they take a commercial break every time the whistle blows. But Dr. Phil's pretty close. I mean, he's pretty close. That whistle blows every 15 seconds. It's like toing the shit burger We got Nora virus For Jack down vomiting no charge Chili I want my baby baby baby baby back. She's been in the shit for three fucking hours

Let me tell you we went, we went to a chili. We went to a chili. Let me tell you something. We used to love baby back ribs. Everybody used to love chilis. Yeah, everybody did used to love chilis. Chili was a universal, for those of you that are too young to remember this. Chili's used to be the place. It was.

Like not the place you would go, you know, not the place. Yeah. It was the casual, like, date place while I was in high school. In early, early year, early, you know, maybe families would go there and yeah. That's what you do Friday night.

You go to Chili's and guess what? There'd be a pack. A pack. You'd wait an hour to get into a fucking Chili's. You can have an awesome blossom and shit yourself all the way. Oh, wait, this is like, this is a fact. Anybody who had a Chili's in their town knows this.

Yes. And I worked during the Hayden's Chili. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be like a Wednesday night. We'd be on an hour wait, we'd be on an hour away. Everybody in their families. And a very, I didn't grow up in a particularly, we weren't well to do, you know?

We had what we needed. But the upper middle class, it was in an upper middle class neighborhood, which was just down the road. And those people would be driving their beamers and their hummers over to Chili's. They'd sit at the bar, they'd have a good time. The bar would be packed, everyone would be there.

The bar would be in joke in, yeah. I'd be, I was a bartender, I was flipping bottles. Oh, God, they all are silent. Oh, yeah, I was gonna all got a shit, right? It was, it was a lovely place to work and a lovely place to go. Yes. And one of the things that was so important

to everyone that I worked for at Chili's, all the managers were making boo-coo fucking bucks. At least I thought so at the time. I think I remember my manager telling me like the general manager, like he was making 175 grand a year for this store in North of Atlanta. And at that time, in the late 90s,

yeah, that's like 400,000 dollars now. I mean, in place, it's with inflation, it's a lot of fucking Mm-hmm. And those little managers aren't married kids. Well, he was he was married with kids, but this guy That's a hard life. His name was Jeff. And I never remember he was like two foot two this guy He was like he was two foot nothing and he run around he was always powerhouse. Yeah, he was a powerhouse He always had he never fucking stopped. He was like a bunny. He'd run here And he was cleaning the window and he'd pull him the tickets and telling me to shut up and you're fired and blah blah blah

He was everywhere, but he was one of like he was kind of a mentor in the sense that he was an example of really fucking hard work And then when he was gone, you wouldn't fucking see him. He wouldn't be calling. He wouldn't be talking to nobody He came in he did his work. He was out He ran the store highly efficiently all the, Intel, underline everybody, right? And one of the things that Jeff demanded was cleanliness. Duh, man. Well, you gotta have it in a restaurant. And every chilease that I worked at,

and I worked out a couple of like, oh, you know, training other people at other stores and stuff, every fucking chilease, cleanliness, if you have time to lean, you got time to clean. You see a piece of trash on the floor, you pick it up. Time to lean, climb to time to lean, you've got time to clean. You see a piece of trash on the floor, you pick it up. Time to lean, climb to the time. Time to lean, time to clean.

I like it, I like it. And so wiping those tables, you know, was extra important, a bucket of sanitizer, a bucket of washwater, a fresh towel, everything was so important. It had to be clean. Every one of those fucking chachkeys that they had all over the goddamn place,

you'd have to dust them every five seconds. Those pictures, it was like a chili cookoff. Yeah, chili cookoff. Around the world. Steer horns and the other thing. You know, real live picture of a real live event that's really life happened in real life at one point. Right? It's so stupid.

And they still have it to this day. Anyway, here's a point. Clean as a fucking whistle. But I made the bad decision a couple of weeks ago, right after we decided to take our, or right after we took our little, right after we took the break. So in the middle of the break, I was gonna go out to even mom, the family was.

And so I said, hey, listen, let's just go to chili. Let's check it out again. It's close to moms. Mom can get in easy and out, because she has some mobility issues. Let's just go there, right? And Astro kind of looked at me and she was like, and I said, listen, what's the worst it can have? Got a burger well done. You know, you shit yourself for a couple

days. I can stand to lose a few pounds. So we got another bout of Salmonella. Maybe I'll go, I know, 17 pounds. They're about to sell me. And I gained 27. We got another bout of Salmonella, maybe I'll go, I thought 17 pounds there, a bout of Salmonella. And I gained 27, unbelievable. Anyway, we go there, Chrissy, I have never in my life never, and I've been to, I was in Mexico City and went to like restaurants on the corner

in a cardboard box, you know what I'm talking about? Like real authentic street food with real authentic La Cucaccio's hanging out everywhere. This was the most fucking disgusting restaurant I have ever been to in my entire life. There was shit everywhere. Everywhere you looked, it was disgusting. The glasses were disgusting, the plates were disgusting,

the windowsills were disgusting, everything was disgusting. Astrid and I were like, hands up on our head. We didn't want to touch it. We were grabbing the children's hands and like putting, I didn't want to touch anything. The were grabbing the children's hands and like putting, I didn't want to touch anything. The hand sanitizer is sporting all over the table. They now have this thing where you'd like order at the table,

like a little screen. That screen had, it looked like, remember that friend that I used to have that kind of smelled bad and he was a little weird? If you ever looked at his phone, his phone had like six months worth of extra jizz on it. You know what I'm talking about? He would just be whacking off and all the lotion and gizz would still be on his screen,

but he wouldn't clean it off. And so you look at that screen on his phone, you want to untouch it. You're like, I'm here, call him from my phone. No, no, no, no, no, I want to touch that. This is what this screen looks like. You couldn't be bought, they couldn't be bothered to wipe it down. Now I'm sure these people are hard working. It also looked like they had about two waiters for every 45 people.

Right. Because it's hard to find work right now. I thought it was disgusting. So now let me tell you what happens. So, couple nights ago, there's my baby screaming. Yeah. Hey Mia. So let me tell you what happens a couple nights ago. I'm here in the studio.

She's remembering this experience. And I'm remembering it too. I am a little bit of, I don't know if I'm OCD, but I have a nose like a hose, and I can smell things a mile away. If blue poops in this house, somewhere, on the other side of the house, my house is like 140 feet from one end,

140, 200 feet from one end to the other. If I am in the corner, in the bathroom, with the door closed, and blue, a piece of poop starts coming out of blue's rear end, I can smell it right then. I'm like, she's sitting somewhere in the bathroom with the door closed and blue, a piece of poop starts coming out of blue's rear end. I can smell it right then. I'm like, she's sitting somewhere in the house, get her, get her, get her, get her. Right?

I hate it, I hate it. Yeah. The other night I'm sitting here in the studio and Astrid comes running, my headphones on. Astrid comes running in the door. I need your help. Anytime a parent says that to another parent, I'm thinking the worst.

Yeah, I'm thinking one of the babies like something really happened bad, right? Or something happened to one of the dogs or something. So I scramble over there, heads set pulling out of all the wires I run on. And what I see, it's probably one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen in my entire life.

Mia was up in the bed in our bed where she normally lays in between Astrid and I and Sotus Matias between Astrid and I and she was up and she was screaming and crying and There was vomit everywhere All over our bed But if as if that wasn't bad enough I then hear my son in the bathroom and he is crying and screaming and I can see all Between the bed and the bathroom. there is a trail of vomit everywhere. And I go in there and he is standing in a pile of vomit with vomit all over him.

Oh, God. Chrissy, there is nothing in this world. Does this after chilies? This was days, well, we don't think it was chilies. We actually think it was a different place. But I'm just saying, right? The two are connected. Because first of all, we'll never go back to that Chili's ever again. Chili's has fallen way down.

Remember when I told you you're sold, I think like the company, the parent company sold them. So to fucking pollo locos about breaking bad. I mean, he kept his place pretty glean. Yeah, he kept it spotless. But I don't know who they sold it to. They sold it to like Ace Hardware or something because those people don't know how to fuck it. We run a restaurant. This projectile vomiting was intense. Wow. And it went everywhere.

We're up in the middle of the night. Mia is doing this every 30 minutes. Luckily, Mityus was one and done, but Mia, that poor little girl, she's just with every couple of minutes, she'd be like Like a wind up. Yeah, like a white that you ever seen like the exercises. Yes It's just coming out her mouth and then we that here's what we do They get out of the bed clean her off put her in the shower. She screams and cries more Matt

He comes into the shower because he thinks he got vomit on him He's picked up my O.C. Matt he comes into the shower because he thinks he got vomit on him. He didn't. He's picked up my OCD. It's unbelievable. This was awful and this went on all fucking night long poor girl. And I suspected came from food from uncleanliness of food. Most of the time when you get sick it is from some form of food poisoning. Yeah. And you know, I just, I just never gonna go to that chiles again. I'm never gonna go to a chiles again, ever in my entire life. So, I'd like to thank our new sponsor, Chili's!

Get your baby bag ribs, now on sale! June through July, baby bag ribs. Comes with three neurovirus. No charge for the neurovirus. Puked bags included. I don't even think I- Yes, theke bags included. I don't even think that- Yes, the mighty have fallen. I don't even think that a chile has paid me

to do a commercial on this commercial break. I don't think I would do it. I just don't. That's how strongly I feel about how disgusting this place was. And remember when I said it used to be the place to go? Not the place to go, but the place to go. Yeah, a great place to go. It's now a place to go.

If you know what I'm talking about, and not probably not if you want food. Last place to go. Yeah, a great place to go. It's now a place to go. If you know what I'm talking about, and not probably not if you want food. Last place to go. Yeah, if you want a shit arena or whatever they're fucking caught, but the pango, wango, Maui, while you pango, dango, margarita, where they pour seven buckets of sugar

and two drops of manufactured strawberry juice along with some shitty tequila. I think it might be the same company that ends Olive Garden. Oh, that's my might be the same company that ends all of garden. Oh my god. I had a bad all of garden experience. Yeah. Yeah. Jeff and I had to go out to Texas for something. And we got in late and we were hungry and we were at the hotel and there was an olive garden near there and I thought, you know what? Breadsticks and salad. I got a lot of wine. That's what I want. Yeah. No.

You got some bad, remain less. It's bad. Bad. You got some bad, remain less. I was all I was glad. Bad, hard breadsticks. Just the best. Yeah, I was super bland and the red wine, I mean,

it was, oh, God. I think I've been sitting in the bottle for. Brian sent him a bottle of candy glass. Yeah, open. Yeah, because no one drinks it. You know, we had a Olive Garden that's a corner down the street.

And that thing is all for 24 fucking hours a day. That thing is packed with people. Yeah, but I just wonder how much toilet flushing is going on after that. Because at one time, my father-in-law convinced me You know he's from Venezuela. So all of garden is like the best thing in the world You know he sees those commercials online. He thinks this is like you know The commercials look so delicious. Of course they do you know of okay, so he convinced I tell I keep in telling him

No, we're not going to Olivegar that is not not Italian food. That is someone pretending to be Italian food. That is what, you know, that's what children eat. Carpasta with extra butter and garlic. Just got garlic. Just got garlic. It's just garlic. And it's gross. And the tomato sauce is not tomato sauce.

It's tomato paste that has water in it. It is disgusting. But he convinces me one time. He's like, Brian, come on, go to the Olive Garden with me. And so we all go to the fucking Olive Garden and what do we get? We get brown lettuce with you know those remember the carrots and cabbage You remember when your kid and you had the lunch lady and the young lunch lady used to make the salads And she would put like one piece of lettuce and then a bunch of sliced carrots and cabbage on top and put a little

Honey mustard on there and she'd be like that's your salad for the day. That's what you get at all of garden only it's worse than that it's fucking disgusting. It's gross and when we went there it was gross and my father-in-law even capitulated he was like okay nothing like the commercials this is not it. The commercial thing it looks fabulous delicious. At Olive Garden you your family and we hate your family I think I knew sponsor We hate you to really Reeling it in here with with I hope nobody works there. Yeah, by my count I think in the course of the commercial break we have to stop about 13 different sponsors that we may or may not have ever had

We're not getting anymore, you know, keynote speeches for anyone. No. Peace. And I don't think I heart radio is going to be buying our podcast that he's talking soon. But we're open in negotiations in case we're open to talks. Yeah. So someone said, would you ever go back and work for Clear Channel?

I don't know that it's the same company now. It's been bought and sold a couple times at this. Yeah. So I don't know that it's the same company,. It's been bought and sold a couple times at this. Yeah. So I don't know that it's the same company, but I don't think Clear Channel's gonna want us on board. No. It's not even called Clear Channel anymore. It's called I Heart.

But I don't even think they would want us on board. No. Not if they listened. But that's making the assumption they ever listen to any of the podcasts they buy. Like Conan O'Brien needs a friend? Okay, they probably listened to that one. But do they listen to the fucking commercial break?

No, they do not. No. I was trolling on the internet the fucking commercial break. No, they do not. No. I was trolling on the internet. As you did, I'd like to, too. Chrissy. Hi, I'm, hi. Hi. Hi.

Yep, too. I was listening to that episode the other day. What? What? That guy was a real dumbass. I was trolling on the internet as I do, and I decided that we should go back and do part two of an episode

We did a couple of days ago. Yes, maybe a couple episodes now depending on how I decide I want to release the episode and We got into a video where we were having Frankie B walk us through how we take 10 years off our look whatever the fuck that means So I thought he was saying 10 years off our life. I thought our life, yeah, but it wasn't as I look. Yeah, whatever that means. So Frankie B, if you have- How are your luck to get on?

Or your luck. 10 years off your luck. The way you want 10 years off your luck. Well, I think if you follow as a wise, you might be taking 10 years off your luck. You might be taking 10 years off your life, meaning you're not gonna get another 10 years. Because Frankie V is doing a beauty video.

Oh, he's gotta say dabbles. You dabbles. And all of it and everything. I think you're supposed to have a professional license to put Botox and people's faces. Isn't there like nightmare stories of it? Yes, yes. About going to a place with one room and a light

and some guy with a needle. And you can get frozen face, but on here, he promoted frozen face. If you would, if you would like to have frozen face, we can do it. That's what he said. Just buy this product, come to my salon. Frankie basically is walking us through three highly toxic chemicals that you can put in your face in order to make you look 10 years younger. That's what he's trying to say, but he does never quite find the right words to say anything.

So we're going to say, I'm not a micro-dermablation. Micro-dermablation. But he found three different chemicals. One, I think we've gotten through Zeman, which is the actual name of the product that he's saying, Zeman. Zeman in your face. Zeman in your face. Put a number of shots of Zeman in your face. Zeman in your face. Put a number of shots of Zeman on your face,

and it'll relax your muscles. Now we're on, what are we on, Sarah Flume, or Flumadome, or whatever. I don't know. Yeah, but we're on something. So this is part two of the Frankie video that I promised you, because I promised people I would actually do the entire video. Hey commercial breakers, best to all of you who have been leaving wonderful podcast reviews

on your favorite podcast player, especially all those who are using Apple. We really appreciate it. We've been delused by wonderful comments and reviews that we couldn't be more grateful if you're one of those. If you're not, could you take just a few minutes and leave us a podcast review, comments or rating on your favorite podcast player, almost all of them have some version of rating or review. It helps us grow the show, it'll make you feel better and it'll tickle all of our pickles. Thanks so much. Hey, 661-237-8296 is where you can leave us a text message or a voicemail and we want to hear for you comments questions concerned or content ideas

Let us know by sending us a text or leaving us a voicemail at 661 the word best the number two why oh yo that's 661 best to you and go to tcbpodcast.com You'll find all the audio and all the video right there at one location You can now connect with us on social media at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break. Still the only place to find all of the video content and exclusives you cannot find anywhere else. We're going to take a short break to hear from our sponsors. Please use their specialized URLs and or codes if you're ever in the market for their products or services,

we certainly would appreciate it. We know our sponsors would too. We'll be right back with this episode of The Commercial Break. There's Frankie. He's so Vainey. He's Vainey. He's like a penis. He's like a life-sized penis.

He's leathery and weird and he tilts to one side and he's got lots of veins. Good job, Chrissy I like that. Okay, so let's pick up where we left left left left off. Okay, Frankie B Ten years off your luck I cremes in seros hell no the only way to do it is by a Dermophilor, okay, will he's the first one? He's come up with the first one the ever-new Dermophilor, okay? Will and- He's the first one. He's the- Let's come up with the Dermophilor.

I'm the first one to ever do Dermophilor. I made it in my own kitchen. And I distributed it worldwide. Coronavirus solved it, monkey fox solving it. All with my tuna and egg combination and Zemen. Chicken Zemen to be correct. I can't produce that much, I'm seven. You know what I'm saying? It's in the Mary and Netline. It's given to me correct. I can't produce that much. I'm seven. You know what I'm saying? Yes, and the Mary Annette line is given your skin volume. We will inject it under your eyes over here.

Plumping out your eye saccus and give you. Oh, Frankie! Flumbered up. It's me, Beatrice. Yes. I need to plump up my cheeks and my eyeballs, please. I have a skeleton. Oh, I've a skeleton Oh, I have a good frozen face I have a skeleton frozen face You nice beautiful cheeks We can even go into the temples Because you may look at your... The temples?

The temples I don't think you need to go into the temples I don't think you want to be putting anything near your brain No It's for the temple Are you sure this guy has a license to do this? I don't know. Somebody oughta check up.

Someone who lives in Illinois oughta check up on the sky. Oh, no. What this does is going to give you a nice, beautiful round. Frozen face. Oh, Frankie. Frankie. Hi. Nice, beautiful round frozen face.

Frankie, I was hanging out with hipsters yesterday. There's men, 20 years younger that I really like, you know, in their late 60s. And then all of a sudden, my frozen face started to go away. I was able to move my eyeballs. Would you mind shooting me up with a more semen? No cream, no serum, no potion is gonna do that. None of that stuff has been approved. No, that's not that's been approved None of that FDA approved bullshit We're going straight to the temple to the online pharmacy

We're going right into your temple Some highly toxic poison To freeze your face and plump it up. You're gonna look great. Look at me, I look like a swollen paratesticals. If you're looks by 10 years. So I'm gonna give you two looks. And warning, this may scare to shit out of you, but people, it is what it is. All right. Warning, I'm gonna spit me scared to shit out of you you lots of people have died in my microdermablation But it is what it is look and I say never been charged with manslaughter yet You're looking at it here comes look number two Look number one here comes chill. What is he doing?

I don't see the difference. First of all, he's not holding up a picture. He's just pulling back his skin a little bit, but it's tiny bit at the jaw. You don't notice it at all. And then what's look number one? He says look number one, and he does nothing. And then he goes look number two,

and then he falls back his skin. Maybe he meant to like throw in a picture there, and it just didn't happen. It's not very scary. No. What look look better? Well, obviously look number two. Just get you to do that. I love number two.

I love number two. I love number two. Which looks better? My natural face or one that's bald black like that. Which looks better. My face inside the car going 152 miles per hour in my Jaguar or outside the car going 152 miles per hour in a Jaguar. Of course, number two. Who doesn't want a pulled back face?

Because I just mimicked a facelift, okay? Now the facelift will instantly take years off of your look, but it's very invasive, it's very expensive. A lot of people are not going to do that. I'm not going to do that, normally spend the money on it. But product number three is going to do the same thing at a fraction of the cost. Okay. You're gonna not be kidding. Because I developed it in Frankie B's biological studios. Not FDA approved. None of these claims have been certified as true.

I'm a chemist. Yeah, I'm a chemist. Did you see my video on tuna eggs? I'm at the office in 30 minutes. I'm gonna show you what they are. All right, these are from monopathy. Now, the side of this might scare you. Oh my god. It'll scare a lot of people. Okay, so this needle at the end of it, it has a thread

near and this thread has little microscopic barbs on it. And what we do is we'll insert this into your face. Okay, oh my god. I've actually hurt of this. And you pull out the microscope. He frets stays in your face with the... I'll take a facelift. Put me under it. Oh my god, you put barbed wire in your face and then pull it backward. Yeah. That's incredibly intense.

I mean, wow. Chrissy, one that fucking someone thinking. I'll do a facelift all day long. I know I'll be a monster with these big legs. I know I'm a monster with these big legs. I know, wow. Chrissy, I'll take a faceless. Fuck is someone thinking, I'll do a facelift all day long. I know I'll be a monster with these big like scars on my cheeks and it's like that. But I just think I'm not a freddy of this to be honest with you.

I know Rachel for my 20th birthday decided to get me Botox. She's like, I made you an appointment at the Botox Doctor. I was 29, what were you thinking? But listen, this is not for me. I'm telling you right now, this is very serious as far as I'm concerned. And you should be doing this by a doctor, should you? Like a spice app.

Yeah, it's, I mean, when you're 70, and you've been, who knows how that spice have got so big. Your skin cannot come down because it catches on the microscopic bars. And this is gonna give you that nice pull up look, okay? And get red all the crazy skin, on the microscope.

We're gonna literally run your face across barbed wire outside Frankie B's house, the salon's the salon's sweet. And I'm gonna pull your head backwards and you're gonna have a brand new face Some people are scared by that but not you You forgot me on the barbed wire Don't worry, Beatrice you need a couple more hours and then we're gonna yank your old head right off that bar fire

You're gonna have ten years off your look. Okay Frankie, I trust you. Funky. Still on the barb wire. Filler in your face, like I talked about in the last segment, but sometimes you need more because sometimes you just can't get rid of the creepy skin because you go on to find you see the rip it through the fire. So we're gonna take fire water, stick it inside your face and then rip it out. Yeah.

Oh, fine. So this is a great alternative to a facelift. I don't like him waving that needle around. Yeah, seriously. He was gonna take 10 years off your look. Let me show you what he was like. Oh my God, if you, yeah. No wonder he's upstairs.

No wonder his office is one 10 by 10 box upstairs in a townhouse with no one else around because the blood curdling screams that come out of there. He's not a doctor. He shouldn't be pulling barbed wire in people's face. This one here, these are a little bit smaller, okay? A little bit less scary. Now, what these are used for? These are going to take five years. These threads, though, you'll insert into the the sockets below your eyes up over here and watch anywhere in the cheek. And once you put these threads in there, it causes an injury. And then what happens is you don't know.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm so... What am I side up? Oh my God, Frankie. What is your surprise? What is your surprise? What is the injury? This causes a major injury inside of your face.

We're going into your dimples. that bruising is gonna make you look Super sexy take ten years off your look it's hard to know how old you are when your face is all fucked up My god when it looks like you just ran through a windshield at 60 miles per hour. No one can tell what I am 60 miles per hour. No, no can see the scars underneath his eyes. I think Frankie might be a victim of his own success. It's like a dealer that's smoking his own crack. You know what I'm saying? You think he does this too?

Probably does this to himself. I know, he does. Yeah. Also, gonna give you volume and take 10 years off your look instantly, which no cream or no serum is gonna do. We just went over three products and Services that are gonna instantly take 10 years off your look. But I'm gonna throw on another There's more It's me frozen face you've never told me about more. I

It's me, Frozen Face. You've never told me about more. I did the barbed wire. I did the seamen all over my face. I had the Sarah Flew or whatever. Billard, you injected Sarah Flew into my eyeballs. What's next, Frankie? It's very, very important because you could be doing, you know, uh, suck that makes you beautiful and enhance them from the inside out and then if you're not doing anything that helps from the outside in your pocket. That's why I'm ready to introduce Frankie B's barbed wire abrasion, abrasion, abrasion.

We're going to take this handful of barbed wire and scrape it all over your body. By the time all those scars heal, you're going to have nice smooth skin. All harmony, okay. When you do proper skin care with serums and lotions along with the facial procedures that I just told you about, let's call harmony. Together you're going gonna make a powerful Ebony and ivory together. We're making some Harmony.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Creams and jizz and bar fire. Together, we'll set your face on fire. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yep. Beautiful. Impact on your luck. together will set your face on fire Beautiful impact on your look, but if you choose to do one without the other Something's gonna be missing so here's to you're not good Okay, it's called retina a now what retina a will do. I think it's red No, you know retina a is act ret and B. It's actually something they used to use back when I was a kid first, Acne, from a bad, bad Acne.

Right, I had it until I had written A and written B. Right, right? And so what it is, it's basically a chemical peel. It burns it. Yeah, burns the shit out of your skin. It dries your skin out. And it burns it and you look like a fucking fire engine. After you use the night after you said,

and I had to use this for like a year. I was using this stuff. And I just like, any picture you look at back then, I was a fucking fire engine after you, you, the night after you said, and I had to use this for like a year. I was using this stuff, and I just like, any picture you look at back then, I was a fucking fire engine. This stuff is highly, actually, if you remember, we had a skincare company that gave us some, oh, that's right. Go, go.

And it burned the shit out of my skin. It burned the shit out of my skin. My wife was like, you gotta stop taking that because I was putting it under my eyes where they told me to put it And it literally looked like I had two red raccoon circles under my eyes and my skin was peeling And she's like you got to stop that whatever that shit is not good for you Two and three layers of skin off your face Perfection it gets rid of small blemishes. Are you getting rid of skin? Wait, are you using this and doing the threading thing?

Are you gonna burn to the thread? We'll take you and tell. Yeah, I mean, like, what is this? And then what about the Zemen on top of it? Well, if you put the Zemen on top of it, then you just, it's a car. What was the Zemen for? Harmony, it's called Harmony. Harmony. The doctors will take care of it. Well, if you put the Zeman on top of it, then you just it's a car. Well, it's the Zeman for harmony. It's called harmony. The doctors will take

care of it in the ICU. It's called harmony. A freckling, super fine wrinkles. It'll somewhat help. Some was somewhat. If I've been through all this, yeah, like you've never had before it's super super powerful and then you need to follow up with a great skincare routine Now we're talking about your serums and your creams your lotions your potions it all starts with a SP out, okay? Oh, oh that would burn Basically we take some gasoline Oh, that one burns Jesus Basically, we take some gasoline and we throw it all over you We set you on fire then we put some petroleum jelly all over your face after the petroleum jelly What we like to do is get in there with a little hydrochloric acid. That's the next level

Then we take your face. We run it all over some barbed wire Then I hook you up to the back of my Jaguar and I run you across the pavement a couple of times. And then I roll over you with one of those hot steamers, you know, the kind that you use for asphalt. And then I put some shingles on top of your head and I stick you on that hot sun for three to four weeks. Make sure you get sunscreen. That's the only thing I on that. Make sure you get sunscreen. That's the only thing I'm asking. Hydration in it.

Hydration is very, very important to the skin because if your skin is not hydrated, you're gonna look weathered. You're gonna look cracky. You're not gonna have that youthful, glowing appearance. And guys, and you guys out there watching, don't be afraid of the words. Anybody out there watching?

Is anybody out there watching, don't be afraid of the words. Anybody out there watching? Is anybody out there watching? It's all six people over your disbelief. Nothing wrong with a man that has good look and skin. Okay, and then follow it up with your hydration, creams, lotions, eye creams, and I put this on in the mornings and the night. But let me give you a disclaimer. Okay, I'm a saying I got beautiful skin. Okay, I didn't start skin the mornings and the night, but let me give you a disclaimer, okay? I'm a saint, I got beautiful skin, okay? I didn't start skincare until I was 54 years old,

so I've only been doing this for four years. Oh! There we go. I got it. He's 58. But this was three years ago, and I made this video since 61 or two. So now we know at least what age he's telling people he is, 62.

I suspect it's more like 65 or 66, but he's right. His skin does not look particularly good because he's always out. And just son, just this video was made three years ago, and just three months ago, he was like, he was bright fucking red and leathery out in the sun. And Pexic kept to his travel for me. This is my, I'm looking into my future. I'm looking into my future with the positive place.

Check the balance. So yes, I was out in the sun. I'm just trying to teach you what I do. So this was three years ago, then he's discovered, none of this worked. Yes, I'm a fetus. I'm going to go next to go. I haven't seen a follow-up video in this photo. So let's put it that way.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Follow the wrong thing. So I guess I'm going to wrap this video up. If you found it useful, helpful, information. I'm sure the prosecutor found it useful. I mean, let's be honest about it. I don't think Frankie should be doing this at all.

I think, you know, if you're, I don't know, I don't need to tell anybody. If you want to, listen, we have friends that do this all the time. Yes. I have a friend who, I think there's a right way in a wrong way. First of all, go to an actual doctor. I have a friend who had been doing Botox since it came out. No, she's probably in her mid-50s. Now, I say a friend. It's a mother of a friend that I have, and I consider her a friend. But she's been doing Botox since it was available to plastic surgeons,

which is a lot longer than we've been talking about it. Oh yeah. So it's probably probably 30 years at this point, she's been doing it since her early 30s. And she's been doing Botox and she looks great and she never has frozen face. It never looks bad, but she also has a plastic surgeon that does it for her. Exactly. It's not like one of these Botox parties where you know, your aunt's uncle's best friend who went to the town of Mexico. Yeah. That's the long sweet.

That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet.

That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet.

That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. That's the long sweet. He's trying to take 10 years off by putting everything on his face and then hoping that something sticks. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Well there we did it. We finished part two. Short episode but you know what? Summer long, summer short. That's the way it goes. Yeah. Okay. I wanted to tell you that Chrissy and I have a lot of great stuff coming up. We've got the summer games. We've got the summer games.

We're coming up on episode number 200. We're Chrissy and I have a lot of great stuff coming up. We've got the summer games. We've got the summer games. Yeah. We're coming up on episode number 200. We're Chrissy and I are going to review some of our own terrible episodes. Some of our own terrible YouTube videos. Yes. So that should be a lot of fun. We're going to do a true crime series, a parody true crime series. We'll get to that later on this summer. I'm excited.

It may be even in the early fall. I got to run in the middle of writing right now. Okay. So wait, do you just wait, Chrissy? You're going to love this. We want to thank in the middle of writing right now. So wait, you just wait, Chris, you're gonna love this. Uh, we wanna thank all the wonderful people who are leaving. I think it should be like a choose your own adventure, you know, where we have the thing

that we can have, okay, yeah, people vote on which page to turn to. I'm actually gonna have people come call us, right? Okay. And then there's a couple other things that we're going to do. We're gonna play a little chat roulette, which I think is fun. Yeah, yeah.

Lots and lots of other stuff. So I just wanted to share with you that we're halfway through season three, and it's only going to get better from here. I want to thank everybody who's supporting the show, leaving awesome comments and reviews. We love the reviews. Oh, we love them. We love all you smart-ass motherfuckers out there putting up those reviews. Keep them coming and remember

Yeah, you can even if you left a review if you want to change it and like make another funny review a couple months later You can actually just go in and change your review You can't leave two at the same time, but you can change your reviews So if you feel like you want to update your old funny reviews or get some new attention Yeah, feel free to do that. I don't think Luke and Will and Tina and Feel free to do that. I don't think Luke and Will and Tina and Mary Ann and Reagan. And an answer to the one of the reviews that we got that was a deep thought about the alien and the podcast universe. I mean the way that I see it, it's the entire universe could be aliens. Could be humans dogs, baby birds, they're crying, grew, oh.

I grew on my front door. Yeah. You hooked up podcast too. Go read the Apple reviews. You'll see what we're talking about. Someone had a good point. They said we make the alien noise at the beginning, and then we say, best of you out there in the podcast universe

are the two connected possibly. Yeah. Fact news and fiction in 30 seconds or less. We don't care who's listening. Just listen. I don't give a shit. Okay. I don't give a shit. Okay, tcbpodcast.com audio video. It's all right there.

661-237-8296-661. Best to yo. Comments, questions, content ideas, Send them right there. Okay, that's all I can do today. Chrissy. I think so. I love you.

Best to yo. Best to yo. Best to yo. Best to yo. Best to yo. Best to yo. Best to yo. Best to yo. Love you best you best you out there in the pod get earth until next time we always say we do say and we must say Bye you you