The Commercial Break - BBS: Bare Bottom Spanking

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

Welcome back to TCB Minus, where you can see one of the most concerning Christian family sitcoms ever on tv! Pauly Shore and Richard Simmons are fighting? Bryan’s Pauly Shore cig story TCB playing at the flooring conference Hambone & Hoadley! Family First How many people got saved? Fire By Nut Bare bottom spanking! The Lord vs college! Rascal Flatts If you can't major in bare bottom spanking, we don't want it! Of course they bring the gays into it Things are taking a turn… The town crazy got let inside LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   626.ASK.TCB3 text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Three places I can tell you I'm not going in 2024. Above and beyond the extra mile out of my way. On this episode of the commercial break. My mom sold that to him from Country Peppers. Yes, the whole house looks like it's done in Country Peppers. Look at that, daddy, so intense. You preached, you didn't tell him about any of our secrets, did you? Your first things we do at night, that's right. You're gonna get a bear about him spanking to remember

The next episode of the commercial break starts now Welcome back to the commercial break I'm Brian Green. This is the Enformer. Kristen Joy-Holy. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for resticking that song in my head. Hey, no problem.

Anytime you want to be annoyed by me, I'm happy to oblige. As all of our listeners will know. And I keep showing up. Yeah. Well, it's the promise of getting paid, I think, at some point in the future. That keeps you coming back. I am reading this really, like there's like,

kind of a little tit for tat going on with two of the strangest character bedfellows that you would ever imagine. Pauly Shore and Richard Simmons, have you seen this? No. Pauly Shore. The Weasel. The Weasel. Remember that, he used to do that Weasel thing on MTV?

I remember first being introduced to him from MTV. Yes. But he was like, you know, the server party dude. Whatever he was doing. I don't know. I didn't it wasn't my favorite thing back then. It certainly didn't age well As pterodome can what was that? Didn't he do like pterodome or I'm in the army now or so? There's a couple of string of really terrible movies But he's around his mother is yes He was the founder of the punchline or the pun or the comedy comedy store very famous are the comedy store. Very famous lady who was like a power broker in comedy because she owned the LA comedy store and anybody who's anybody got their start there, did some

stand up there, still does stand up there. It's a very prominent room to play and if you play one of those rooms, you are like, it's a sign that you're either up and coming or you've made it, which is why we've never been invited. Correct. I don't think you're going gonna see the commercial break live at the comedy store anytime soon. Though, I don't know, maybe, you never know. So, Pauly Shore has largely taken over where his mom left off, I understand. He's kind of like, you know, pulling the strings back at the comedy store, doing

something at the comedy store, but he's largely been out of the limelight for like 25 years. I mean, you don't hear much about Paulie Shore. Here and there, some things will pop up. Maybe he's on a podcast or a podcast or whatever. But he certainly hasn't done any acting and no stand up that I'm aware of. And MTV doesn't exist anymore. And even if it did, I'm not sure the Weasel would come back and find for it.

Well, MTV does exist because I see it when I come into the studio. I mean, music television does not exist anymore. How's that? Catfish and Rob Dierdek do still have a channel called MTV. That whatever his name is, Neve and Rob apparently own MTV. And that's what they show 24 hours a day, either ridiculousness or Catfish. And I'm into Catfish. I like that. And never gets into catfish. I like that.

And never gets old for me. I don't know why it's like, how does people, what in the world is going through your head that you date someone for five years, send them money, give them your social security number, send dick pics or chitch pics or whatever it is. You're in a full blown relationship. You're in a full blown. I've got to ready to get married to this person for years. And they have never once bothered to send you a picture, never once or get on on the phone with you. Or FaceTime you. They send pics, but it's like, yeah. Somebody else. Yeah. Right. It's not the, that's the catfish part. That's

the catfish part. And Neve himself was catfish. I didn't need to tell the story. Everybody knows the story of catfish. You know, there's a famous movie that came out and at the time everybody was shocked. Like, holy shit, that happened. And now it happens all the time. They're like professional catfishers. That's all they do is create new pages fake pages and try and lure people in for whatever emotional spiritual money a lot of different reasons but Neven you know his Banda Mary pranksters they're always out there trying to find the next catfish. Atlanta seems to be a big home for a lot of these people by the way. They're always flying to Atlanta over to Atlanta.

Back to Atlanta. Here we are in Atlanta. And I just want to state for the record, I am behind none of it, okay? What you see is what you get. This face is what you get. But anyway, so, I digress. Paulie Shore has now played in a very short, it's like five minutes long, he played Richard Simmons in a short movie. The movie is, and it's online, maybe I'll put the link to it, it's on YouTube,

you can watch it for free, because who would pay for a five minute movie? I don't know, but okay, I digress. There's subscriptions to everything. There's subscriptions to everything. The movie's okay, it's interesting enough. The premise is it's like a 90s talk show, like kind of like Jenny Jones, Ellen, something like that. Actually, I think the

woman is supposed to, she looks like and is made up to look like Ellen. So imagine on Ellen and Richard Simmons is going to come and talk about his new workout video and the production assistant who's in charge of making sure that that video is in his hand, the DVD is in his hand so he can show the crowd, is, has not done his job. And how sad he is that he didn't do his job, no one recognizes him, all this other stuff. So that's the main plot of the story. But there is like three minutes of the movie, two and a half, three minutes of the movie. Out of five? Out of five. Okay.

Where Pauli Shor's correct. Where Pauli Shor, so it's actually 50% of the movie. Where Pauli Shor, if I'm doing my math correct carrying the one Where Pauli shore plays Richard Simmons, okay? In my opinion like as a guest on the show. No he yes as a guest on the Ellen show like in the movie He's a guest on this television show. I don't know that you can call it a movie. That's confusing. That's what they call it I don't know it's a short independent short short film Yeah, okay. It's a short film What's this if we're gonna split hairs about what to call it being killers of the flower moon versus the five-minute movie?

Yeah, my attention span is perfect for the five-minute movie I know it so I haven't watched killers of the flower moon, but and I want to but because isn't it like a 12 minutes. I know I want to watch it too because it is a time commitment. I know. I put in a catheter to watch Oppenheimer. I can't even imagine what's going to happen killers of the flower mood. Okay, so in this short film, he plays for a period of the film. He plays Richard Simmons and to me a not very convincing Richard Simmons. Just because of the curly hair? Yeah, well, they even put a wig on them. I mean, it's really not, it's really not

extraordinarily convincing. But okay, I can kind of see some of the, let me see if I can find you a picture. I can kind of see some of the resemblance, but for my money, he's not really playing a very great version of Richard Simmons. Richard Simmons. Yeah. I'm showing Chrissie a picture. And so maybe Astrid can pop open,

pop up a picture there on the video. I can see the similarity in looks. I do not see the similarity in personality. I do not think Polly is doing a particularly great impression of Richard Simmons. Richard Simmons is a very dynamic, energetic, in-your-face. He's one of a kind. Well, he's still alive. No, I...

Oh, okay. That's what he used to do on TV. He's been gone for a while, though. That was that show, the podcast. Yeah, that show, where in the world did Richard Simmons, yeah. People were worried about him, but I guess he's fine. They're still worried about him, but he's fine. And I'll tell you why I know he's fine is because now there has been some conversation

about a full blown biopic of Richard Simmons. Pauli Shor is plotting his comeback, his acting comeback, playing Richard Simmons in this biopic. And apparently they're far along the pre-production road with us. And so people started talking in the Hollywood trade rags and stuff like this about Pauli Shor playing Richard Simmons. And Richard Simmons came talking in the Hollywood trade rags and stuff like this about Polyshore playing Richard Simmons. And Richard Simmons came out of the woodwork

for the first time in a long time and said, I don't want this to happen. I didn't give my blessing for this. I'm not interested in it. I will not help with it. And- So it's an unauthorized. Yeah, unauthorized.

And he basically said, leave me alone. I'm just wanna live the rest of my life in peace. And listen, there's a lot of people who have been arguing that Richard Simmons was such a big part of our lives for so long. He was everywhere, every talk show, every, you know, not only podcasts were around back then, but you know, every, he was there.

Well, he was sold all the commercial, you know, I mean, it was the, for his tapes. For his tapes, for his workout tapes. And I think by all accounts, Richard Simmons did a lot of good for a lot of people. Yeah. And- Sweat into the oldies. Sweat into the oldies.

And people, he just knew how to talk to people, right? And he had this kind of affectionate, empathetic, weird- Positive. But positive vibe about him. And I always thought Richard Simmons was an, I always liked him. I was like, oh yeah, he seems like a good guy, right?

He just seems like a good guy. Yeah, I don't think there's anybody that like was like that guy's a dick I'm sure there's someone out there that says Richard Simmons a dick, but I think that guy's a dick general I think there's a I think there's a double dicking going on there No pun intended. There's a double dicking going on with Richard Simmons. If you say he's a dick, you're a dick You know what I'm saying? It's hard to dislike Richard Simmons. Anyway, Pauly Shore wants... He was very Bonhomi, by the way. He was very Bonhomi-homi. Hey, homie, that's Bonhomi.

He's a nice guy. And so now he said, please don't do this. I'm not interested in it. And I just want to live my life out in peace. And so now this might be getting derailed because people are like, well, are people really going to go see the movie that Richard Simmons told them not to? Because most of the people this might appeal to are Richard Simmons fans.

And if Richard Simmons fans say we don't want to see it, or if Richard Simmons himself says we don't want to see it, are the fans gonna go along with Richard and not see the film? They're gonna watch it. They're gonna watch it, of course they are. I would. But they're not gonna watch it until it comes out on their favorite stream. Exactly.

Yeah. We're not gonna pay to go into the movie theater, but they will watch it because they have already paid for it with some kind of streaming subscription I think these guys makes it's such a weird story to me that Polly Shore this kind of you know Okay, I don't anything is Polly Shore either. Did I tell you the story about Polly Shore? When I was a teenager, I think you did but it was a long time ago So when I was a teenager and not even teenager like 12. Yeah, okay 12 or 13 years old when I was just be just a teenager Freshman teenager. Yeah preteen a little pre-puped a little pre-puped boy

When I was a pre-puped boy, I had this friend his mother Controlled the she was the manager of a small theater here in Atlanta that used to be called center stage theater Yes, and so we always thought that was the coolest job in the world. You get to work with bands and comedians and, you know, they did a lot of plus stage plays back then and stuff like that. But we always thought his mom had the coolest job. Well, it turns out Paulie Shore was just coming into his own at the MTV, uh, that now, yeah, now called Rob Deer at XMTV.

He was just coming into his own, doing the Weasel thing, being a popular VJ on MTV, and Paulie Shore is gonna come to Atlanta. He's gonna come to center stage. And his mother, my friend's mother, said, okay, here's the deal. You boys can come to work with me that night. I will get you into the show.

You will behave yourselves. You will not make a fool of me, but you will be able to go do what you wanna do. And we had the run of the place. Really cool, right? We had a fool of me, but you will be able to go do what you wanna do. And we had the run of the place, really cool, right? We had the run of the place, very cool. And she was so sweet with us, and she did the box office thing

and the management thing or whatever she was doing. And my friend and I, we just kind of ran around center stage for a couple of hours beforehand, and then an hour or two after. We had both just started smoking cigarettes, right? We are just like immature little kids that are sneaking off smoking cigarettes at the time. And so I'll never forget,

and I don't even think the guy smokes, but for some reason we ended up meeting Pauly Shore back in the backstage area, and Pauly Shore asked my friend for a cigarette if he had a cigarette, and Pauly Shore gave him a cigarette. I can't remember if he asked me or asked my friend. The story's a little diluted in my head, but he asked for a cigarette and Paulie Shore gave him a cigarette. I can't remember if you asked me or asked my friend. The story's a little diluted in my head,

but he asked for a cigarette, someone gave him a cigarette, and then he took that cigarette on stage, but I don't know if you ever lit it like he would. Oh, a prop. Kind of a prop kind of thing, right? But he had that cigarette in his hand, and we all thought that was just so cool. He bought a cigarette, blah, blah, blah, blah.

He's using our cigarettes, we bought it legally. Yeah, here's our cigarettes and any gas station in Atlanta would sell anybody at the time I mean you didn't have to have ID. I have to have an ID to drop off my fucking recycling But I was 13 and I looked like I was 11 and except for all the hair on my legs I look like I was 11 and I could walk into any gas station in Atlanta and buy a pack of cigarettes No questions asked none and it was you had to be 18 to buy cigarettes, but no station in Atlanta in Biopacket cigarettes, no questions asked, none. And it was, you had to be 18 to buy cigarettes, but no, not in Atlanta. You just bought cigarettes when you wanted to buy cigarettes. It basically was that way.

And remember the cigarette machines? I saw those in a movie or show the other day. Waffle House. And I was like, whoa, I remember those machines. I remember them too, because that's where we get a lot of our cigarettes. Of course. Would be from the Waffle House cigarette machine. You think the guy at Waffle House want a drama?

No, he's like, fuck, there's another $4 in my pocket. Like, I don't give a shit. You go ahead, knock yourself out. And at the time I started to smoke a cigarette, it's only $2 a pack. It was nothing, nothing to buy a cigarette. I'm dating myself now. But anyway, as if I haven't the entire podcast.

The entire podcast is like a graveyard of old stories, but Polly had that cigarette, took that cigarette. I thought it was cool. I remember him being very nice. I remember him taking the time to talk to us, even though we were just a bunch of kids. I remember, I think I told them I loved the weasel, he did the weasel or whatever. And then he went on stage to a very empty audience, to a very empty theater, and did an hour of whatever

he did. And I remember that, I don't remember one joke, not one laugh, not one thing that Pauly said. I'm not saying he wasn't funny. I'm saying that particular night, I don't remember anything funny about it, except for the fact that there was a cigarette that was taken from somebody at the point. The stars were in your eyes while you could think of it. That's all I could think of.

I was just so crazed that I had just met my favorite DJ, DJ, whatever they call him on MTV. So now I'm finding it extra strange. I guess maybe my perspective is coloring my opinion about this, but I'm finding it very strange that Pauley wants to play Richard Simmons as like his acting comeback. Do we not think if Pauley sure had some acting chops somewhere down deep down that he would have already shown us those acting chops in some way shape or form. Maybe he's wanting to get serious now. He's like that Paul Rubens, you know? He was Pee Wee Herman, then he whacked off in a theater poor bastard. Like every other guy in the theater was doing except it was Paul Rubens, so they arrested him. And then he makes that turn and blow, which is such a fucking fantastic movie. He's so good in that

movie. And then you're like, oh, Paul Rub such a fucking fantastic movie. He's so good in that movie. And then you're like, oh, Paul Rubens has some acting chops. Like, let's get that guy in more movies. I want to see him do more stuff. But no, he didn't. He just did blow. That was it. But I think if Polly had this in him, he may have done it before.

And I'm not sure why Richard Simmons' biopic is the right answer to his acting blows. It's so strange to me. Yeah, and so I for one will not Pay at the movie theater to see the Richard Simmons bio pic by Pauly Shore But I will watch it when it comes out on streaming and I will tell you what it's all about if it ever makes it I can her now I'm kind of rooting for it to happen Yeah, just so we can watch what a shit show, indeed, Pauly Shore will be as Richard Simmons. Because they're saying it's supposed to be like a very moody take on Richard Simmons' life. Like not a comedy, not like a hairball zany comedy, which you can see working for Richard

Simmons' life also. But like this moody affected script that they're trying to put together. I wonder if it would be kind of be based on the podcast type thing that was done? I don't know. You know, they're turning a lot of show, I notice now that on Netflix, there's a lot of shows that I listened to on a podcast

and now they're a show. Yeah. Ours is in production. It's next in line. I would just have a big meeting about it the other day. They were like, do you think you could put 10 seats in a theater? And I was like, I think if you invite my kids,

we can put 20 seats in a theater. Jeff, Rachel, Allison, I'm pretty sure we can fill 10 seats, yeah, yeah, yeah. 18 and over or all ages? Because if it's all ages, I got it covered. I got like 30 seats covered. But if you want to do 18 and over, five, seven, you have a small bar we could play,

you have a tiki hut, and you have a tiki hut we could play in someone's backyard. Because I think that'd be the best thing for the commercial break. You just have a really large booth. I know. In the back of an outback.

I think we do a conference. Like, you remember when I went to the podcast conference and the wood flooring conference was right next door? I say we play the wood flooring conference. I think that's our vibe. I think that's our vibe. I think that's our audience. No!

Live at the Wood Flooring Show Ex expo of America it's the commercial break Hey, I don't want to be stupid, but who's gonna get laid Who's laying some wood tonight, You know what I'm saying? Ah, yeah, that's right. Um, sir, this is the funeral conference. Oh, well, whatever, roll with it. Am I killing tonight or what? I'm gonna have you rolling in your grave.

Oh, you already are. It's hand-boning rolling in your grave. Oh, you already are. It's handboned and Hodey in the morning. Handboned and Hodey. I forgot about handboned and Hodey. I still want to do handboned and Hodey. I swear to God we do a live show. Handboned and Hodey is gonna be a skit. Yes. We're doing a skit called handboned and Hodey in the morning.

Handboned. Handboned and Hodeley in the morning. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Let's check the weather and the traffic at the top of the hour, the bottom of the hour and quarter two. Next up, Baronaked Ladies. Next up, we got Baronaked Ladies in studio! Oh, the fire alarm's going off. It's hot in here. It's Baron here. It's bear naked ladies. You may remember them from such hits as that one tit. Tickety chick and tit, let's stop that. Lickin'.

I take a dick and I keep stopping. Lickin'. Oh, hand bone. Good old hand bone. I don't know. I think that hand bone's a little bit of a loose cannon. Gotta keep a tight lid on hand bone. Good old hand bone. I don't know. I think that hand bone is a little bit of a loose cannon. Gotta keep it tight lit on hand bone. The audience loves him. Here in the greater Macon area. We're picking the Everglades too. That's right.

In the greater Tucumcari, New Mexico area, hand bone is killing it. We gotta keep... He's a loose cannon. He's walking a fine line. He's like, Matt Wright, we gotta keep him in line. He's hot, he's sexy. He talks a lot of shit. That Hambone. Oh, Hambone.

We're gonna start you off at Tucumcari and then we're gonna roll out to all the cities under 7,000 people in America. You're gonna be famous with the corn growers. All right, let's take a break. It will be back. I got a good one for you today. You're gonna want to stick around for this one.

We'll be back. Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting Brian, give us a call at 626-ASK-TCB3, leave us a voicemail, and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't ya? You can also text us at 855-TCB-8383 and check out our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all things TCB. You know what's coming next. Follow us on Instagram, at The Commercial Break, and on TikTok, at TCB Podcast.

And now, let's listen to some sponsors because they're the real ones around here. This episode is sponsored in part by Magic Spoon. Okay, if you've listened to any amount of The Commercial Break, then you know one of my disgusting food habits is to eat sugary cereals with cream late at night. While the earth just turned one year older, and I've decided to do away with the empty calories and added sugars. The good news for my bad cereal habit? I have Magic Spoon.

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they're offering you a discount. Go to magicspoon.com slash tcb to grab a variety pack and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code TCB at checkout to save $5 off your order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it's backed with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it, for any reason, they'll refund your money, absolutely no questions asked. Remember to start the near off right with a delicious bowl of high protein cereal at magicspoon.com slash tcb and be sure to use the promo code TCB to save $5 off. That's magicsp dot com slash tcb and use the code tcb to save $5 off. Thank you Magic Spoon for being a sponsor of the commercial break and giving me something to

look forward to late night after I get out of the studio. All right, I want you to tell me if you remember a television show back in the mid to late 90s called Family First. It was a sitcom and I wonder if you remember them. Does a name sound familiar to you? No family matters. I remember that one. Of course everyone remembers Erkel. Yeah but I don't know that I remember family first. Erkel and the guy from Die Hard. That's what I remember. The dad was the guy from Die Hard and Erkel. And those two, that was just a winning combination from the beginning. Who didn't like a little Erkel coming in?

Excuse me. Excuse me. I do like your daughter. Whoa. I can't say the commercial break is all that much better. I did like family matters actually. I was just young enough to get into it. No, we're not talking about the famous show,

Family Matters, which everybody who grew up at that time watched, I'm talking about Family First. Now, I don't know where this television show ran, but when I look at this on YouTube, there are so many people that comment, oh, I couldn't remember the name, but I used to watch the show on Saturday mornings, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

and I just am like, I don't even remember ever seeing this But you weren't usually awake on Saturday mornings though No, certainly not as I know no probably not no I like that was a late sleep from the beginning. Yeah, even at like eight years old my dad said yeah I could sail past 9 30 right everybody was up doing stuff and I was still in the bed I think it's just my nature to get lots of sleep. I'm a very sleepy person off air I expend all my energy here, and then I go take a nap for you know 12 to 13 hours. I wake up again. I do it Exactly, it's about the kids. I need my rest, babe. I'm a man of a certain age

If you want me to perform like the you know clowning monkey. I am then I got to get my bed rest We think I look this good? With no sleep? No, of course. Family first was a sitcom that is a Christian sitcom. Wow. Yes, that's probably why I didn't get into it. That was insane.

I was like, ah. Isn't there some organization now too called Family First or something? I think there is and I think maybe it, maybe it has something to do with it. I'm not sure. I didn't do that much digging because I don't ever. God forbid I get something right on this show.

But I did find family first. There are like, I think like seven to 10 episodes of this. I swear to God this could be content that we could chew on for the rest of our existence as the commercial break. If we just kind of roll it out in measure, because these episodes are so terribly bad, so terribly awful, so just crazy. The plot lines are so crazy that I have a hard time understanding how anybody at any network or production house ever gave this the green light, and how anybody actually managed to see this outside of a church organization is beyond me

But it does exist. It is out there The episodes are out there They're kind of diced up into bits and pieces because I guess that's how you have to do it when you do it on YouTube I guess you have to do less than 15 minutes of someone else's material I don't know I don't know what the rules are because I don't pay attention to the rules And that's why half of our episodes are shadow banned because Every Teresa Caputo every mountain monsters every ghost hunters everything it all gets knocked down five pegs But any we will continue we will fight the man whatever man like the good fight. Yeah, whatever man

Okay, dude Fight the good fight. Yeah, whatever man. Okay, dude Fight the good fight YouTube against Google Alphabet that's right against alphabet ABC or whatever they're called these days The whole European Union just took them on and lost but the commercial break we're gonna win our fight. Don't you worry? You could probably Google our podcast after this episode and it won't be anywhere to be found. That's another story for a different day. All right, so you want to take a look at an episode of Family First? Of course I do.

Okay, it's hard to get through some of this bad comedy, but hopefully Chrissy and I will relieve the bad comedy with some good comedy. I'm hoping. But here we go. I was strolling on the internet. As you do. As I do like to do. And I stumbled upon Family family first the Christian sitcom

That apparently played sometime in the air in the mid to late 90s But here it is equipped with a bad 90s opening montage and everything like this is this is the real deal. All right, here we go Yeah, you know the bad song gives it away. 90s. And the pay phone. Yeah, you just answered a pay phone. So this is like the opening montage that every 90s sitcom had. It was like this three minute long opening montage that told you what show you were watching. Nowadays, they just go right into it. You don't even see, you don't even know what show you're watching unless you look at the guide. Family first. So just to preface it too, there was a man running, running around with a suit with a briefcase up and down the street for some weird reasons. He was late to a meeting, Chrissy Chris. He was late to but he stopped to pick up the pay phone

He did if you ever let people know he's gonna be late and then there were two women at a mall shopping shopping running around They both found something and and and cucked but it heads Yeah, and then there's some kids crazy kids that are coming out of the school like the bell just rung. Yeah, they're jumping and running. And they're cooing. Scoos out! Scoos out forever! I gotta go to the chapel!

Yeah, there's a typical comedy sitcom. Your nuclear family. All white, of course. Yeah. Some... Okay, let's go. Music Featuring John Witty, who went on to do many other

things. Yeah. What other things did he do, Chrissy? I can't remember. I don't know. Oh, and Vichio Witty? Vichio Witty. So they must be... That's the wife. they must be actual wife and husband in real life. Interesting.

They're probably sure. It's Blaine Bartell. I actually think Blaine Bartell did some raunchy sex comedies if I'm not mistaken. Maybe, maybe not. I like how he's got the pride flag behind him. He does. Yeah, and in good Jean Jacket. Yeah, well, because in the 90s, it wasn't a pride flag.

No. It was just a rainbow flag. No. It was just a rainbow flag. No. Kathy Bartel, are these all family members? They didn't even notice this when I watched this. So it's real, maybe real husband and wife

and real sister and brother? Yeah, I'm assuming maybe that's it. You know, here's another thing. A lot of people claim that they saw this back in the 90s, but when I first watched it, I thought it was a parody. I thought that this was a joke. Yeah, it does look like a joke. It does, but I don't think so.

Like a Saturday Night Live joke. Oh, the only one that's not related. Is Chris Thesis. He looked like he was playing a ranger of some sort of park ranger. Yeah, and it says Chris Thesis as Charles Stanley, as if anybody gave a shit Yeah, why did they just put a plane in Why was a plane at the end of that?

Oh wait, is his look, he's coming in with a luggage. Oh, he's coming in with a luggage, okay, I probably. The dad just got home from a business trip. He was out at the Wood Convention, quote on quote. Hold on, can I just share with you just for a minute that the Family First television show, um, oh, it's actually got quite a number of episodes. It's got like 37, nope, that's a different show altogether.

Oh, here it no, no, no American food. Are you hungry? Wow, I'm going to be totally racist and say American food is a thumbs up. How's your trip to China? They go on missions. That's where they're coming back from missions. Oh. Yeah, that's crazy. Yes. Well, go ahead and eat mine.

Well, tell us about your trip, Doug. Well, the first day was... Son, don't eat with your mouth full. How many people got saved? Well, there's 60 people. First thing was out. Son don't eat with your mouth full. How many people got saved? He said there at least 50 people saved the first day That's great acting By the way though, this is referred to as family first the actual name of the show was aka fire by night

Fire by night. Fire by Night. Fire by Night. A little bit of a weird. It was produced in Oklahoma through 1986 through 1993. Geez. There's a lot of episodes of this, Chrissy. Is there? Yes. This is... Are there? We are now called Fire by Night. Yes. Not as many episodes as us. What's that? Not as many episodes as us. I can't think of a television show that's even close to having as many episodes of us except for maybe the tonight show maybe Well, no, she was in China the sister was in China he went to Costa Rica they went on mission trips now He's back home eating fried chicken and mom's just way too excited about all of it. Very excited. Did I use a big bird?

AHHHH! Street drama. Oh! Well, let me see you do your chicken. Honey, Doug doesn't want to do his chicken for us now. He wants to eat his chicken. Come on, I want to see your chicken. Doug, show me your chicken.

Now honey, you better shut your pie hole before I come over there and smack that word right out of your mouth. I said, my son is eating chicken. He just got back from Costa Rica. What is the chicken? It's fried chicken! Now I know what it is. Is there a chicken dance? Oh yeah, he did chicken dance in Costa Rica. I went for the natives. Because that's what they do. You know what I'm talking about? Yes, they do. You ever been to Costa Rica they do. Yes, they do you've been to coast I reek I

Yes, yes, you have been you did the chicken dance, too I might have done to the five police officers down the street You want me to give you a bare bottom spanking no no by the way the sun in this yet. Wow Listen, things are different Wait, the sun in this, yeah, wow. Listen, things are different right now. Not just this spanking, bare bottom. Bare bottom spanking, wow. I hope this takes a turn the way I hope it takes.

I hope everything gets weird real quick. But I just gotta like. Are they, their brother and sister about to have sex and this is important to have action. I'm pretty sure that the brother and sister, yes, they have done, they did a follow up to Fire by Night. Fire by Night, you're taking a whole new me. That's rightup to Fire by Night Calling fire by all new me that's right called fire by nut You know you gotta find work somewhere. Yeah, that's a weird place

You know what I'm saying and I just got to point out that the children in this television show look 62 They look like children at all. We've talked about that before too with the 23 divorce and then they look like they're 56. Yes Do it all these people you're gonna bear bottom Do you want a prostate exam do you want to bear bottom prostate exam from your father with his special fire by not stick? I didn't think so That's that mother-smoking crack why she's so excited about everything You know what I came home from a trip in my house?

I don't even think I've even noticed I was there for like three days. Or that you were gone? Yeah, he's brying home because his room's starting to smell like incense and patchouli. It's back. Ah, Brian's back, patchouli smell. I'm assuming he's okay.

And the people got saved? Oh yeah, after we do the chicken, then we preach. You preached. Yeah, I mean, you know, I preached. After I did the chicken. After I did the chicken, Dad, I went down and I preached. Wait, you preached? You didn't tell them about anything?

His sweater. Yeah, I know. His sweater, it's like, that's really bad. It's two horses. It's like car. Like a wetter. Like a intense wetter. It's like, that's really bad. It's two horses. It's like carousel horses. My mom sold that to him from Country Petland. Yes. The whole house looks like it's done in Country Petland.

That's right. Look at that daddy. He's so intense. You preached. You didn't tell him about any of our secrets, did you? You're for things we do at night. That's right. You're going to get a bear bear bottom spanking to remember.

They all breached. They all breached. Listen, dad, can you give me a little bit of space? I was about to say, the dad's very close. Yeah, well that's how it went back in the 90s. Your dad would kiss you on the lips, with a little tongue. No one was bothered by it. Nirvana was out.

They were just trying to keep their kids close. Sure, I gotta tell you guys something. Listen to me, dad, mom, Connie. You are looking at a young man who has been called full time into the mission field. Told you. That's right. Told you. I told you.

Told you he was gonna come back and give me some idiotic mission field bullshit. Well there goes the family dry clean of business. What are we gonna do now? But mom's gonna be excited, I guarantee. I answered, he said go, I said where? He said to the world, I said, whoa, the world. So you definitely feel called to the mission field.

You're definitely my mother, aren't you? Did I get in the middle? Are you? Are you? I don't know. Accessory hasn't come out yet. That's right. In real life, you are my mother

because this is a weird family show where we're all producing each other. And by the way, when the lady says a line like this, let me just run back to the line. I wanna show you what great acting this is. Watch how the director directs her to put the right emphasis on the right word I feel like my mother aren't you? Let me let me just I want to just critique this acting here for a second because I think it's so good and feel Sorry, you definitely feel called to the mission field

See you notice how she put the emphasis on the word called for no reason in particular You definitely want to feel called to the mission field. Zina, notice how she put the emphasis on the word called for no reason in particular. You definitely want to feel called to the mission field. You're definitely my mother, aren't you? Did I get any mail? Oh yes. Thank you. Did my playboy come? You got mail.

Did my penthouse show up? I gotta go rub a couple out. It's hard to do in that chicken suit. Long flight couple out. It's hard to do in that chicken suit. Long flight. Yeah, it's hard to do in that chicken suit. Not a Costa Rica. One letter, I was gone a month. The rest of mine.

Okay, well I'll go read all my mail. Gonna go rub one out. He hasn't been home five minutes. He's eating a bucket of chicken. He shoved chicken on his face. Did a chicken dance for a minute. He did the chicken dance for his mom. I almost got a bare bottom spanking.

Game close. I wish that had happened. And now he's going upstairs to... That's right with this one letter. That's right. It's done. Do you chicken for me? No.

Just one. Okay, I'll do it at the stage. Ready? Okay. Oh my God. Wow, the Raiders really want the extra mile on this one. They're like, we'll do the chicken dance right up front, but then we'll close with the chicken dance, too.

Good good. We're gonna make, they'll be rolling. It's hilarious. Yes. We're gonna beat that Cheers. There goes our chicken. I mean, our boy. Yes, we're gonna beat that Cheers It's gonna be a chicken area

Oh, then Chrissy the writing on this is just a truck And I could only imagine that it's the actresses and actors who wrote this. Like this couple right here. Chickenery. Yeah, the chickenery. That's mission and chickenery put together. Missionary and chicken put together in case you're a chickenery. Aviary.

I just wanna throw it. My, my not agricultural and fine arts community college, dear Mr. Collins, we are extremely interested in you playing basketball at our institution. our recruiter has followed your progress on the court and we feel that you have the potential to meet our needs. Sounds like it! Yeah! That's a college letter.

Yeah he's in high school he's a senior in high school. Potential stuff. That was the word to trip them up. That's something, yeah. That one gets me some duds too. Point guard, a full scholarship is what we are looking for. Our graduates can be found around the world. Please contact me at my office. I look forward to meeting with you. Our graduates can be found around the world. Yeah. Wow. Congratulations on that. Well, I was going to go to Harvard, but my new community college and gardening center. You got me with my graduates are all around the world.

Emily, Emerson, Roy, coach, fine art, agriculture and community. This is great. Oh, I see this is going. Oh yeah, you see what this is going? It's between the Lord and that liberal arts college where they're going to teach you all about cabbage patch dolls and game people and bear bottom things that we don't talk about here, but we might do on occasion.

Dad, I'm home from my missions trip. Oh, we got a whole new family. This is a whole new family. Now, keep up with it, Chrissy. I like that globe. It's complicated. Everybody family. Now, keep up with it, Chris. I like that globe. It's complicated. Everybody had one of those globes, by the way. The kind of globe that's huge and sits in a four-legged

contraption in the middle, and the kids would spin it endlessly, and the parents would tell you not to spin it, and I would say, what is a globe for if you can't spin it? And then they would get upset because you touched the nice globe, as opposed to the bad globe. Not sure, it's a conspiracy by the globe makers. Dad?

Dad? You're not hiding behind the couch, are you? Dad? No? Maybe I'll try the answering machine. Well, that guy looks like he's from that, what's that band, that country band? Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long. Remember that band?

Yeah, no. Yeah, I remember the song. Okay, I can't remember the name of the band but you know, not drive my truck. Roxy? Or somebody like that. Roxy! No, no, where are you? It's your son. I've got a brother? Look, I thought you were going to pick me up at the airport. I need to ride home. Oh, come on. He didn't recognize his own voice. He didn't recognize his own voice.

It's hard to tell with those old tape recorders. I'm telling you what, Chrissy. I can't think of how many times I came in that had left myself a message. And then it was like, I got a brother? A twin? Oh, I actually do. You do. Oh, okay.

I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. message. And then it was like, I got a brother, a twin. Oh, I actually do. You do.

Oh, OK. Well, and I also can't think of how many times my dad was hiding behind the couch when I came home. You know, that's the way it is. That's right. Take a cab. I still got your visa. OK, bye.

I sound so different on the phone. What? Clarence, are you there? Dad. Over here, I'm on the phone. What? Clarence, are you there? Dad! Over here, I'm on the machine. Don't break it, dad. Don't be smart. Okay, I won't. I'll be home in an hour.

There's like weird trippy thing going on here where he's talking to the machine and getting the right answers. Yes. How much I want to tell you? Save it till I get home, son. Okay. Bye. Bye. Clarence. answer yes yes much i want to tell you yeah okay bye you

you you you you you you you you you about the court date and your intentions concerning alimony. Mommy, I love you. Yeah, and mommy, don't leave me.

I'm 47. I'm 47. I just touched the good globe and daddy's gonna spank my bare bottom again. This is you, Nece Taylor. Do you remember me? No, I- Almost ex-wife.

I have a hard time keeping up with mom. I almost ex-wife is ex-wife is. Earth a hard time keeping up with my almost ex-wife's That's wife's By the way the phone number at my brand new apartment is 555 Got a brand new apartment. That's right mom's got a brand new apartment. She was just got the shock of his life God just got the shock of his life. God. This show is so terribly constructed. You could literally pick any other television show

in the world and get more laughs out of what's going on here. But we will continue. Just give us a break. We gotta take a break from this for a second. And then we'll be back. Ugh, finally. I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content,

and follow us on Instagram, at the commercial break, and on TikTok, at TCB Podcast. Wanted to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626-ASK-TCB3, and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 855 TCB 8383 and boy do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show. All right, we're watching the quote-unquote Christian variety show named Fire by Night for some reason it's called Family First on YouTube. The screen? Yeah. It just pulled up. I know.

Isn't that what it said on the intro? Yes. I don't know why they're calling it Fire by Night. Fly by Night. Fly by Night, exactly. There's like a Fire by Night subscription base has had gone from 300 members when it started to more than 4,500 members. To watch this show, you got to be kidding me. That's crazy. had gone from 300 members when it started to more than 4,500 members. To watch this show, you got to be kidding me.

That's crazy. This was the original subscription stream. I know. And there are, yeah, I guess there are a number of episodes. A number. A number. There are, holy shit, Chrissy, there are 94 episodes of this show. Oh my god.

They tackle a new thing each week I guess. Yeah I think this is one of the first ones. Yeah they tackle a new- Mission driven. They tackle more hypocrisy every single week. Alright so we're watching this family first slash fire by night whatever you want to call it. We're watching it. It is one of the most poorly constructed sitcoms of all times, and it's actually played on networks.

Not sure which network it played on. Probably some Christian network, but here you go. We're about to miss this trip. He's calling his mom. Hello? Who is it? Hello? Hello?

Is this the bastard son of my new lover? Hello? Hello? Because that's who he is real about. Who is this? Hello, who is this? The 90s were a tough time. You never knew when one of those long-haired hippies might be calling you or one of them there grunges.

Are you a grunge? He does have a flannel on tell me your name i'm reporting you to the authorities i love these word the flannel shirt with a sweater vest it looks like a greeter at sam's club he's a greeter at sam's club anybody there hello please answer please answer please answer i'm He's a greeter at Sam's Club. Anybody there? Hello?

Please answer. Please answer. I'm in terrible trouble. Thank God you called. Unice Janice Taylor, future possibly ex-wife of Claude's father. It's got me tied up. Two broken legs. Oh wait, that's misery.

I'm sorry. Check this out, check it out. What? Oh, we're back to the first family now. You know, this is going in. The chickens. There's a timeline here we're trying to keep up with. What is it? Oh, I don't know, maybe a basketball scholarship

for Douglas Collins. I don't think there was a scholarship involved. He said just, we might be interested. Well, what it said was we're looking for a full scholarship. And so when I initially heard this, when I listened to this, when I watched this at first, I was like, are colleges usually looking for a scholarship? Are they looking to give you a scholarship?

Because it sounds like. We're looking for the money for a scholarship. We just need the money up front. Then we're going to give you a full scholarship. We calculated about $112,000 to complete your courses here. And so you don't have to go to your courses, but we need the money up front and we're in it. And then in return, we'll give you a full scholarship. Chip, where?

Right, right. My not agricultural and fine arts community college. Yeah. That doesn't sound like a Christian college, but... It doesn't sound like they teach the Lord or bare bottom spankens there. What are you going to do if you don't have your bare bottom spankens? You know how you like your bare bottom spankens with your Moo Moo milkeys at night. They've got graduates around the world too. They've got graduates around the world. I don't care.

Do they have bare bottom spankings? Because I know I'll miss them mine off why not mine up yeah why not they're open-minded there you go mine on I mean that's probably I love how the the Sun just dropped a football yeah but he's right in his dad's head yeah that's the basketball but it was deflated because it just laid on the ground the The props department, you know, they were just getting going. They had a low budget. Can you find me a deflated basketball?

Maybe the scholarship. Yeah, maybe a scholarship for this show. Ogan, huh? I mean, what an opportunity. How many teenagers every year get a chance like this? Well, I don't know how to... Well, tens of thousands actually. Well, I don't know how to... Well, tens of thousands, actually.

Many, many, many children get this same opportunity. Doug, or whatever your name is. Just line up, Doug, with your call to the mission field. I mean, you know... And your chicken damn. Yeah, what about your chicken area? It's gonna go on. What about all the time you just spent in that we got saving all those chickens from certain destruction

Street, yeah Son Your mother's got a good point there just ten minutes ago. You had her in tears over your glorious call to the ministry What about that? Oh, Diana. Well, I went upstairs. I whacked off and decided I want some pussy and bear I went upstairs I whacked off and decided I want some pussy and bear I've had enough I just went to Costa Rica to save people now give me a break. Let me go in my room spring up Don't God's God's timing. It's like, you know you dribble before you shoot I mean, maybe what God's saying is first go to my not agricultural and Fine arts community

agricultural and fine arts. Why do I get the picture of a field full of cowboys and ballet tights dancing around? Oh yeah, bring the gays into it. You gotta bring the gay cowboys into it now honey. Honey, do you need a bear bottom spanking? Ballet tights. Cowboys and ballet tights? What in the fuck is this lady talking about? Hey, hey. What laying down the lawn. Put a lid on your worry. They didn't even have to act that one out.

They do that at home at night because they're both from the same family. Put a lid on your word, bitch. I'm not worried, Doug. I'm not worried, Doug. I'm not worried, Doug. I'm not worried, Doug. I'm not worried, Doug. I'm not worried, Doug.

I'm not worried, Doug. I'm not worried, Doug. I'm not worried, Doug. laying down the law. They didn't even have to act that one out. They do that at home at night because they're both from the same family. Put a lid on your word, bitch. I'm not, I just don't want him to get distracted, John, from what Almighty God has called him to do. Mm, what a canine drink. Oh yeah, she's really in a tizzy now. Mom's gonna spend the whole night drinking

and taking her happy pills They call it family first on the actual video Sane I wonder why that's called fire by night on Wikipedia unless there's a totally different television show I think it might be I don't know the name of this particular episode is in that list but whatever okay who cares honestly who gives a fuck is anybody gonna go watch fire by night or family first after listening to the commercial break no who cares

i'm 100 101 do you believe what my mom's done three what is it okay so now we've got the two teenage boys the one with the uh... who had the globe who had no family, clod, and we've got the original chicken guy here in a teenage pump and iron in a typical teenage bedroom with no pictures of women on the walls whatsoever.

And the bed made just typical. Please put the way down so we can seriously talk. You need to seriously take a look at this letter right here. Please seriously take a look at his form. That's bad form, the way he's living this way. He's lifting weights and he's like throwing him over his shoulder. He's straining a lot. I feel like he's going to get a hernia.

I have our head just watching this show. Football scholarship offer from Minot Agricultural and Fine Arts Community College. Didn't their ball team play our high school girls team and our high school girls won? Yeah, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Very, very funny, Clarence. I'll have you know. And the Emmy Award goes to Fire By Night Slash Family

First Slash Not On My Face Slash Bear Bottom Chickenery Spankings for excellence in writing comedic excellence. Like you guys have the tissues right there in his bed. I know. Of course. That is what boy didn't have tissues just sitting next to his bed. I didn't. I had a t-shirt found around the world.

Oh really? They all get deported. Doug, would you please listen to me? Deported. I called my mom. Deported. What happened? What?

Now we got the, now we got the poor immigrants that are involved. What happened? Mom, and guess what happened? A man answered the phone. Well, Clarence, did you ever think it might be a wrong number? I mean, you call wrong numbers about 60% of the time. It was the right number. Listen, Clarence, I want you just to be real honest

with me for a second. So now we got two guys lifting weights. As only... One on each arm. One has one on one arm and one has one on... They're only doing one weight at a time. Yeah. Oh, this is...

This feels like a workout video now. I can okay? Oops, sorry. Tell me, are they getting any bigger? No, your weights have always been this size. Look, Doug. No, your testicles have always been small. They'll drop soon.

You only have the face of a 42-year-old. Mom and Dad are still going to the court to get the big D word. What do you mean, dunk? I mean, dick down. I mean, the guy looks like he's in his 30s. Oh, Chrissy. This could not be more unrealistic. A big day. A big day.

A big day. Just a court. And that's how kids talk back then. Mm-hmm. Oh, not dunk divorce. Dad thinks he can save some money by doing it all on people's court. How embarrassing. Oh, come on. Clair P money by doing it all on People's Court. How embarrassing. Come on, Claire.

People's Court. He's like that. Isn't that the herp of the show? Do they do the People's Court? They do, they do. I know, they don't. Wapner. They never did.

Wapner never did one divorce. He did like, you sold me a lawnmower for 20 bucks. It's effective. Wapner was a very tame version of Judge Judy, but he was the best. He was, he was the best. That's right. That's right. Yeah.

Come on. I've talked to you about this a hundred times. Just be patient. We've already prayed about it. God heard your prayer. Everything's going to turn out, okay? Brother Doug! Brother Doug! Go, Brother Doug! Brother Doug! Brother Doug!

You got any more of those bear bottom spankens I've been looking for? I heard you do the chicken dance. Can you come down and do a bear bottom chicken dance? Up on these nuts? Yeah, yeah, yeah, brother Peter brothers. I keep it down. What do you want? Okay, okay, come on up. I'm in my bedroom. Okay, just for a moment Come on up. I'm in my bedroom. Okay, just just for more Come on up. I'm in my bedroom. You remember you remember Come on up preach the good word lock the door behind you Wow this cast of characters just could not be more diverse Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Well, good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Collins. Wow, this cast of characters just could not be more diverse.

All white, all terribly redneck accents. And did you notice the mom spilled the entire bucket of popcorn? Oh, she startled. This is not only is this like cerebral comedy, not only is it, it's kind of like British comedy. It's a thinking man's comedy. That's right. But then it's got this element of like physical comedy

to your Chrissy that I'm really enjoying right now. That's working. Yeah, anytime someone has a bucket of popcorn and they get scared and they throw it on other people, that denotes to me that we are dealing with high brow comedy. Gold. It's comedy gold.

As a matter of fact, I'm gonna start bringing buckets of popcorn in here and just throwing it on you in random points in the show. What? Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I've been invited up there to the dog's room to discuss life and to discuss new relevation from above.

Jesus. I mean, I, I'm evoking the word of Jesus. This guy, this is awful. I'm evoking the word of shut the fuck up. When he's got a raincoat, green coat, yelling. He came straight. I mean, he might fit on with mountain monsters. Oh God, I just came here.

That's everything that needs to happen. Woo! That's how we come upstairs. Yeah. Yeah, y'all come upstairs and get bare-bottles faking. I came here to look at Brother Doug's bare-bottles. I got this here raincoat on so I can just flashin' my balls. I got a revelation in my raincoat!

He does have a flasher coat on. Like anytime in his 80s or 90s movie, you would see a flasher, like they were making fun of him. He'd be wearing a raincoat just like that. Exactly. By the way, thank you for the popcorn. I do appreciate your hospitalization. Excuse me, hospitality. God bless. Excuse me, high hospitality.

God bless you. I had no problem going up there, you strange adult man with my young teenage son. We'll turn a blind eye. We'll be down here ignoring any kind of sounds or noises we might hear from them. I wanted our movie. I'm gonna ask you.

For crying out loud, what's the matter with that guy? Why does he talk so loud? He's got wax in his ears or something? Crying out loud what's wrong with that strange man, and why don't we just let him go up into my son's room? That is no workout I've ever seen him yeah, I mean I don't know what they're working out there, but you know Throw in the throw in the white back. That's right. They're gonna come in handy and is later soft-core porn days That's lunch that's I rebuke you now be me but okay My my see there it works. What works? What is all this shouting business? He said rebue Q and he said okay, and he walked himself right into the closet and closed the door.

This is actually getting funny. His t-shirt says goob. His T-shirt says Goob. G-O-O-B. D, when you shout. Is that a Godfair? Godfair. Is wearing with the spenders. Yeah, well, you gotta keep your pants on, Chrissy,

until it's time to take them down. You know what I'm saying? It's all in the dough. In the natural, why, you shake the heavenlies and something revelic happens in this paratroop. Is there any scripture for that? Oh, the Bible is filled with scriptures, brother Doug. But actually, this revelation has been overlooked

until just recently. Why, for instance, point to- He seems like the town crazy. Yeah, he is the town crazy. And he was just allowed upstairs into the teenage boys room with no resistance whatsoever. They actually wanted him to leave because he was too loud.

They were like, go up. Take advantage of my young teenage son. I can't take it anymore. You want some popcorn? It's on the floor. He shouted and the walls came tumbling down. Come down. Hey, listen, if you don't keep it down,

something else is gonna come down. It's gonna be my father on you. Hey, Doug, keep it down up there, will ya? I told you, he'll come up here and give you a bare-bottom spanking, and then you'll have something to shout about. Whoa! The whole family's getting involved. The friends come over for bare-bottom spanking. Then you'll have something to shout about.

Nothing like a good bare-bottom spanking from your friend's dad. Oh, uh-oh. Wait, hold on one second. There we go.'s dad family matters family matters was so much better night yeah or whatever it's called family matters fire by night trial by fired bear bottom spanking I'm just gonna call start calling it bbs bear bottom spanking the bear bottom spanking Show brought to you by Brian and Chrissy. Ham Bone and Holi in the morning. BBS! BBS! CBS brings you BBS on Saturday nights.

Bear Bottom Spanking starring these two family members. And these two family members. And this strange man. All the sexual innuendos you can fit into one Christian related program. And this strange man! All the sexual innuendos you can fit into one Christian related program. DBS, only on CBS. Oh, you know what? Maybe we should put this up on TCB minus. Oh yeah, well I'm sure we can get it for a song and a dance. Check it out. Yeah, I think this is into the...

What do they call it? Um... When you lose trade... Or this? No, you lose the trademark... Oh, public domain. I think this went into public domain like 30 years early, because everyone was like,

Who's gonna pay for that shit? Ah... But hey, everyone does things in their own way. And uh, I'm... Some people on YouTube... Comment that they really enjoyed the show, as much as they people on YouTube Comment that they really enjoyed the show as much as they hated the bad acting They really enjoyed the show But I think pretty much you could put an eight-year-old in front of a television set with anything going and if it was not like straight-up

Hardcore gore murder they would be like oh, that's interesting. I like that Their little lies get focused on whatever daddy. Are you gonna give me a bear bottom spanking? No, we stopped at about 20 years ago. You're lucky However blue blue, I'll give a bear bottom spanking to Know a bear bottom spank. Yep All right. Well, listen do us favor, go to TCBpodcast.com. That's where you go. You find out more information about the show.

And bare bottom spankings. Bare bottom spankings. Although I can't stop laughing. Oh my god, TCBpodcast.com. 626, ask DCB the number 3626, ask DCB the number three at the commercial break on instagram and youtube.com The commercial break Yeah, okay, there you go. Okay, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do

I love you best to you best you out there in the podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I always say we do so say And we will say goodbye I get assed!