The Commercial Break - Better To Be Good Than Good To Be Better

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

The Bit: Jim "Touchdown" Jefferys gets ready for WSHIT's Game Of The Week. The Show: Bryan and Krissy discus the disappearance of Covid-19, Bryan's trip tp Home Depot, bad motivational speakers and his inability to get The Bit done each week. Plus, they laugh like they have never laughed at Bryan's New Year's eve story from France. Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO ([phone]) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is WSHI T's head sports reporter Jim Touchdown Jeffries. Welcome to the game of the week. That's right, I'm the same Touchdown Jim that scored the final six points in the State Class T Championship game back in 1976. You may remember the game as fondly as I did. Touchdown Jim, that's me, ran 72 yards in the wrong direction confused by the bright lights. Only to be carried back, by my quarterback, to the opposing end zone, where the final touchdown was scored. opposing end zone where the final touchdown was scored. And while I had not even made the team that year, we were six players short that day because the opposing team failed to show up and the coach made the call. And that, my good friends, is how history is made. That's how history is made. We have a hell of a game for you today.

The crab apple nut bags are boys. Are facing their toughest competitors in the Shaboygan sheep wranglers. This my friends, is as exciting as a 6-7 year old T-Ball match is ever going to get. So let's go down to the field where Coach Derek Pandaroza's fresh off probation and ready to give his pre-game talk. Our goals are lesson, lesson our goals are to hit fingers. Everybody better have their eyes on me. Eyes on me, Ryland. Hit fingers, disgrace the pitcher's family, make the other families, other players cry, and stomp their butts into the ground. Does everyone understand this? Does everybody understand this? Look fellas, look, look, look, there are two types of people in the world. There's two types of people in this world. There's winners and there's losers. Just so that we're

clear, every time we step on this field, our goal is to be a winner. And if your dad has said, oh, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose, just as long as you have fun, well, I hate to say it, your dad's a loser. Okay, so let's get our hands in. That team's pretty good, the Weir Gitter. So let's go good around three. Let's go good around three. I could not have said it better myself, coach. Your dad is a loser indeed.

Let's take a quick commercial break and we'll be back with the game. In early 2020, the world shut down. Stores, restaurants, schools, and whole communities shut their doors in an effort to protect human life. As the world quickly changed, one man went on Facebook to get a degree in Internet epidemiology. Brian, along with his lab assistant, HOTELY, are curing coronavirus by commenting on fake news and reposting recipes of secret virus cures from a friend of a friend who works high up in government.

Join Brian and Holi as they discuss the world and like doing this forced interruption, learning laughing and loving in this real-life commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break, it was listening to like a motivational speaker and he would just keep repeating things that made no sense. He was like, that was one of those YouTube guys and he was like, bad, I don't know how I found him.

But he'd say stuff like that. He'd be like, it's pure research and perfect. I was hoping somebody, it was hoping I could just press record and scroll down the podcast And so I'm determined no matter how much money and I have to spend or what lengths I have to go to I'm killing these little fuckers And keep buzzing around my head while I'm eating in my own fucking kitchen So the only thing that I could think to play So the only thing that I could think to play was Home Sweet Home Sweet Home by Motley Crew. Oh my god.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The game is on and there's lots of companies spending multi-million dollars trying to figure these things out and so the little guy gets squashed and so he's no more. So here we are, another episode of the commercial break, welcome aboard. Thank you everybody from joining. Far and wide. Say hello to all of our international listeners. You know, there's the people that we think about, the big countries like Germany, Switzerland, Sweden,

Australia, Great Britain. They're listening. Thank you, hi guys. How are you? Well, good work. Hello. What's the thing about the smaller companies? Like Slovenia.

Countries. Countries. What did I say? Companies. You don't think about the smaller companies like Coca-Cola, Home Depot, Walmart, Come spend money on our on our show Slovenia South Korea Turkey and Iran. Wow, who would have thought I know? I'm sure it's the shot of Iran is listening. He's probably going very funny these commercial breakers. I

Like them. When we bomb America,, very funny, these commercial breakers. I like them. When we bought America, we do not debum the commercial breakers. We make, we draw to the search of no commercial breakers. So welcome aboard, if you're your first time listening, this is the commercial break, I'm Brian, this is my good friend, only. And if you're coming back, welcome back,

tcbpodcast.com is where you go to them. Listen to all the episodes, read show notes, and find out out more about us you can drop us an email and in a future episode one episode every couple of months we'll probably address all of the emails and comments good and bad so leave it we're big boys and girls we can take it yeah I will cry I will probably spend a few minutes he goes fragile I'll console you but you go as fragile that's why I started the podcast. I don't know if you know that. There's psychology 101 for you. I need I need validation. At the commercial break on IG you can go to Facebook, the commercial break and the YouTube channel is the same. And for all of you that are interested, we now have an exciting opportunity for you. If you go to TCBpodcast.com

and there's a big button that says join the break room, that break room is where you want to be. And let me explain why, Chrissy Hothi, my good friend of many years. Not only are you going to get your regular portion of the commercial break, every Wednesday, but you're going to get an extra helping of the commercial break, because we at some point are now going to have to put together an extra hour of content for the people who have joined the commercial break because there are people now who have joined the commercial break. And unfortunately, I just thought this was going to be like, I'd say it and it sounded really

sexy and then no one would join and I'd be able to go, just keep on saying it, you know, and eventually, it's made off into the distance. My wife. People are coming on. People are coming on to us. People coming on to you. People coming on to you. So join people coming on to you. People coming on to you. So join the break room extra hour of content.

We are going to start doing some live shows every once in a blue moon. And so starting in July, we will send out that newsletter from behind the scenes stuff, access to live shows and an extra hour of content. No charge. It's on us. But only if you're part of the break room.

So go enjoy. Sweet. And I can already hear the people on the other end of this microphone and they're asking, where's the bit, Brian? Where did you put the bit? That funny little thing or that, absolutely obnoxious thing you do

at the beginning of the show, depending on who you are. Where are they? They're getting shorter and shorter, and now they're just gone. Well, let me explain. I never really intended to do a fully produced bit, a comedy bit at the beginning of every show.

I just got on a roll and decided I was going to do it for the first couple of episodes. You were on a roll. I was on a roll. But they take so much time to do. Like, you got to write them, you got to produce some sound effects, and I do them all myself, all by myself.

And here's what I found, that if it's a clunker, if I have, I think I have a good idea and then it ends up something like absolute horse shit, which some of them do, then I just have to err them because I have no additional time to do anything else. So it's like, once I'm in it, I'm in it. It's like going to space or having a baby. Once you're pre-can't be kind to pregnant

and you can't go backwards in pregnancy. It's like once it happens the baby's coming Yep, and so my shitty Produced business coming for carfus If you wanted or not, and so what I have decided to do is it's better to be good than good to be better Did that make any sense? Yes, let me say that again. It's better to be good than good to be better Yes, I was listening to like a motivational speaker

and he would just keep repeating things that made no sense. He was like, oh, bad. He was one of those YouTube guys and he was like, bad, I don't know how I found him, but he'd say stuff like that. He'd be like, you're researching for bed. I was hoping somebody, was hoping I could just press record

and throw it on the podcast. I don't want to take the cheap way out. So this guy, he's like, you know, there's all like 12 views. And listen, that's not saying much coming from the commercial brick, where there's like 12 listens, but this guy is like, he'd say things, but they need to repeat it. It's slower. So that makes it true. It's better to have the cup half full than to put bleach in your socks. Did you hear that? Did you get that? Let me repeat that parable. It's better to have the cup half full and to have bleach

in your socks. I'm motivated now. And I'd be like, wow, that's fucking profound. Bad motivational speakers, we should do that as a topic one time because there's a top. There's a top. There's a top. There's really good ones, but there's really bad ones too. So anyway, listen, I'm not going to put out any crap. We are going to have a gold standard for bits around here. And when I get a good one, and when it comes in my head and I have time to produce it, at the level of what you expect, which is not saying much, I was set to have a...

The life in stride. That's right, I will put them out and you'll be happy to know the moving forward every bit will be made. 100% in the USA, they will be mostly organic, chemical free and no harm will come to animals anymore. Last time I heard any animals in the making of the bits. So there you go. How you doing? It's been an interesting week. There's lots of stuff to talk about. Yes. That's for sure.

Doing well. Doing well. Hang it in there. Yeah. We definitely had an interesting weekend with Fourth of July, Pannas Well, the good news is coronavirus is gone. Well, I think I'm ever telling you this. Yes. I have great news is right here in my little spot It was gone Come over to my pool as soon as you stood up through the gates. it's gone. There was massive partying going on on the weekend, which in turn Come to find out this morning our pools broken Your pool is broken like say prox of pool. Did your pool get coronavirus? Sucked all the coronavirus People and now it's strange. Do you think the pool is really broken or a part of our management?

It's just like Maybe it's a. Do you think the pool is really broken? We don't order a part. Poor management is just like, not for done. Maybe it's a little poop in the pool. I've been to a fourth of July party, it's your pool, it's out of control. I wouldn't doubt if someone shit in the pool. Think about throwing a candy bar there. Oh man. I did think about throwing the candy bar there. I saw the pictures sent me.

This is like at the people. And I was like, wow. But then here where I live, there was a block party for the fourth of July. And that block party, they shut down the street, they put a big stage up. I couldn't believe that the city let this go on. What? Because the city has been rev,

I think been kind of on top of it. While they haven't mandated anything, they've been putting out pretty regular notices. And we've had not a huge amount of cases here in the specific city that I live in. But like everywhere else in the country it's rising. And so they had a huge block party and there was, I would, I would guess maybe a thousand people in this parking lot, and on this block, and not one fucking person, social distancing, or wearing a mask.

And the thing that scares me is, I mean, I'm seeing things through a different lens because I'm having a baby, right? So just for me, everything's a little bit, it's a little bit scarier, it's a little bit different. So I'm being a little bit of a baby about it, but who cares, that's just what, that's what me and my family choose to do. I really don't think you can get mad at anybody for being too safe. You know, like, damn that person's being too safe.

That doesn't, just doesn't go together. That's not my button. Do you see that, Eddie? Where in a seatbelt? Ian driving with his door closed sober? What a fucker. Did he see that idiot stopping at every stop like there? Right. It's the same thing.

Now be as careful as you would like. Please, you see that guy refuse both of my XDC hits after snorking an eight ball of crystal meth? And they're him. So, you know, so we're looking at things just, we're looking at things from our perspective, like everybody is. And so it's just was like, I was just so disappointed.

I've given up at this point. I just figure coronavirus has gone. Let it, I guess it's gone. And I'll just continue to wear a mask and we'll isolate ourselves with the new baby. Yeah, everybody's kind of on their own at this point. I guess I don't know. I heard that our mayor has it now.

Yeah, the city of City of Atlanta's mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms has coronavirus. And so there you go. Well, she's been running around doing a whole bunch of shit. She has. And people in the public that are a public figure, I can kind of, you know, see how that they might be at a greater risk. Yeah, but why can't the people we want to get coronavirus?

Yeah. But is it have to be our mayor? Right. Uh, yeah. So therefore, since I'm taking things a little bit extra carefully, I had my own pool party here at my pool, which included no one but me and my son, Matthias. That was fun. I did manage to get to home deep,

let me take the story. So I go to Home Depot and I walk in, like we got these damn fruit flies in our house and once you get fruit flies, you can never fucking get them out there. Not just, right? They just, it's a problem in the summer here in Georgia. It's been every house I've ever lived in.

You, no matter how clean you are, you get fruit flies, and there it is. But I am debowned and determined to find out how to kill these little shitheads that only live for 18 hours anyway. It's like you only live for 18 hours. How is it possible that you're overwhelming my kitchen?

And so I'm determined no matter how much money I have to spend or what lengths I have to go to, I'm killing these little fuckers and keep buzzing around my head while I'm eating in my own fucking kitchen. So I was at home Depot with my mask on and I go you know into the insecticide section and As I'm walking in there's another gentleman who is walking in like right ahead of me, right? And so I'm like, okay I take notice that the guy isn't wearing a mask

But again, this is just par for the course most people in my part of the world are wearing masks But some of them aren't wearing a mask, but this is just par for the course. Most people in my part of the world are wearing masks, but some of them aren't, okay, whatever. So that's not the part that is interesting or funny. The part that's funny is that so he walks in, I walk in, we both end up in the insecticide section. I am kind of dancing around the insecticide section. I have no fucking, unlike Mr. Cluelis, right? I have no idea.

I'm like, by, I'm like, little rat poison work. You feel like you're gonna buy a raccoon trap. That sounds good. I'll get those little fuckers. I have no idea what I'm doing or what I'm talking about. I'm googling at the same time, like I often am, in Home Depot.

And so it's, I'm probably there five minutes, maybe 10, maybe 10. And this guy is getting, his guy's in the insecticide section too, and he is getting more and more irritable, you can tell. He's like, Oh. Ah. Ah.

Ah. I'm like, you know, just like under his breath, he just seems like one of those guys who's ready to blow at any moment. Right. And so then he goes, have you seen somebody around here? And I'm like, I see you.

I mean, what do you, and I'm not, I mean like Home Depot guy. And I'm like, I, I wasn't really looking for one, but I'm sure they're around here, sir. Like, I need one. Yeah, if you find him, I'm in line. I'll go second, right? Because you seem angry.

He's much more agitated than me. I'm like, I don't have the Home Depot logo on my shirt, but no, I haven't seen anybody. So he, so he walks around the aisle. He just takes like one spin around the aisle. And then he's standing there with his hands on his hip. I got somebody coming and I'm like, oh, okay. And so the guy comes and he's like,

I wanna speak to your manager after we're done with my question. And the guy's like, oh, I'm sorry, yes sir. He's like, do you not know that someone's standing here for over two hours waiting for you? And I'm like, did you just eat? Oh, hours. What have you smoking and can I have some? I'm like, right?

Are you on GHB? What's going on, dude? He starts like, he's like, I have been standing here for almost two hours, waiting for somebody to pay attention to me. I have a simple question about insecticides. And I'm like, holy shit, the guy's like, his head is about to pop off his shoulders.

And the poor guy is like, I'm really sorry. I had no idea anybody's here. I've been here for four hours. I didn't see you. Like, I'm sorry. And I'm just like behind the guy, like shaking my head. I'm like, no, I guess I've been waiting here for two hours.

It's not like a concierge there at home, deep-rored thing, but they're not just gonna, they're not commissioned salespeople. No. So his question is, I got cardinals eaten my flowers. How do I get rid of them? And I'm like, you're gonna kill cardinals? I know.

No, you got cardinals eating your flowers. It's kind of flowers in you, girl. What are you growing back there? Not the cardinals. No, not the poor cardinals. They're like one in a million. Like you see them every like three or four weeks and then you're gonna kill them.

I just felt for this guy. Luckily, he let the manager thing go after the guy was like, listen, just, you know, I don't know if I forgot what he said. He's gonna marry some dog, peon, or something, and they'll go away. And the guy seems satisfied with the answer, but just he's propensed this guy's propensity

to completely over exaggerate exactly what was going on. Like people, you know, we all need attention in our own way. Brian starts a podcast somebody walks in People and claims you've been there for two hours. I suppose people are on edge people are on edge man I've watched a video right before we came on air and again the audio is not so fantastic So I'm not gonna I'm not gonna play it just for the sake of playing it But I'm sure you've seen this the lady the lady who went fucking nuts in the target, did you see that? On the target in the master's play, I didn't watch the video itself, but I heard.

There's a video. There's a $40,000 watch. And well, that's what she claims. You don't see the watch in there, but that's what she claims. Lady goes into target, I don't know where she is, fucking Shaboykin Wisconsin or something, and she's like, no, no, you are not gonna do this to us anymore.

You are not gonna do this to anymore.. You are not gonna do this to anymore. Guess what? We've been waiting to do this. We've been waiting to do this. And she's talking to a display full of masks. She's like literally having a conversation with the mask. You are not gonna do this to us anymore. You will, I refuse to let this happen.

It's not gonna happen, not gonna happen. And then she- Doesn't she film herself?. And then she filmed herself. Yes, she was filming herself. So you can't see her, but you can just see the masks. Like, she's obviously talking to the mask, pointing at the mask. And then she just destroys this whole display of masks. She's just throwing them on the floors, you know, yelling and screaming. And eventually the target people come up, right? And you can't really hear what they're saying because the videos of not great quality

and she's holding the thing herself and so you hear the popping and the noise. But she's like, you know, I don't know, claiming the 89th amendment, you know, the right to not wear masks. Not wear masks, whatever. Yeah. So fucking stupid.

Some lady on the Facebook page was like, the governor of Texas now is mandating masks, and she's instantaneously, so one of my friends posts this news article and he said, well, that's a step in the right direction, right? And this lady instantaneously responds, I mean, like within seconds of this going up, it says like, you know, one minute later,

she goes, won't work unconstitutional. And I'm like, which consta fucking tuition are you reading? Because yes, it would you have to wear seatbelts? You have to drive the speed limit. Like there's no law against making laws. That's just the way that it is. And if Donald Trump can keep immigrants and cages because he signs something with a pen, this guy can make sure that everyone's marrying a mask when they're outdoors.

So anyway, so the lady destroys this mask thing. And then you fast forward to her. She is live streaming herself on whatever platform, you know, quayonon bullshit platform. She happens to be streaming herself. And all you see is two police officers in a garage. And she's like, Like a parking garage?

Like no, like her garage, like her person arrived. Oh, a parking garage. And this is what she says. I'm paraphrasing, so don't fucking write me and tell me, I'm just a guy in a podcast, okay? Because, you know, people like they, you didn't get that right. They see you think they think you're fine.

Fuck yourself. The fucking podcast. If you're gonna get so upset about everything, little thing that I say, then you know what? Yeah. Listen, just listen louder. So. Just subscribe the break. That's just the break room. If you can't see that the cups have full, then the posters not on the wall. If you can't see that the posters on the wall, then the cup is have full. Listen tonight, think about that. So she goes,

you said it best. Thank you. She goes, you can't arrest me. I am on a secret, I have top secret clearance with Quayonon. This is what she says. I have top secret clearance with Quayonon.

I am in direct communication with the White House right now. I have a wire on me. I'm talking to them all the time. So the police officer goes, oh, really, you have a wire on me. I'm talking to them all the time. So the police officer goes, oh, really, you have a wire on you. You have you talked to them today, and she goes, I talked to them all the time.

The wires on me right now. They know everything, and I have top secret clearance. And he says, well, can you explain to me why you destroyed the mask? I have lines. And she goes, I can't. That's top secret information, and you don't have clearance.

None of you have clearance. And I'm like, oh my fucking Christ. So the first video's kind of funny, a little bit interesting. The second video gets a little bit sad because now you know that this lady's just mentally ill. Delusional. I honestly think that like Facebook and Twitter and whatever 4chan or whatever people are on,

going down these rabbit holes, I think some people that really mentally unfit to be on these boards because they're... Oh yeah, for sure. It's more sure. It's more sure. I think some people that really mentally unfit to be on these boards because they get sick. And so of course they arrest the late she tells them that you can't just go into a store and destroy. Her comeback was when the target manager said this following something very similar. You can't just walk into the store and destroy this.

She said, well you let all the black lives people do it and let black lives matter people to it. And I'm like, oh, God. It's like people are getting, they're literally hooked up into their internet dumb machines and they're just sucking the information in and they'll believe anything anybody writes. And and you know it's just some shithead little teenager on his computer writing these conspiracy theories. Someone wrote exactly. I mean you can find anything on the internet to back up your, you know, what you want to think. I could say anything on this podcast and somebody might take it to be the truth.

I mean, and so the new one going around, you know, Chester Bennington, the guy from Lincoln Park. Oh, right. Yeah, the guy who committed, the guy who died, not the commit suicide, but the guy who died from a drug overdose apparently. The new conspiracy theory going around, which has been flying around my Facebook wall, is that Chester Bennington is actually the illegitimate son

of John Podesta, the guy who worked for the Obama administration, and that he was about to take down a worldwide pedophile ring, and so they had him killed. John Podesta had his own son killed. What? Yeah, which by the way, Chester Bennington's father is alive and well, and living in, you know, shit head Texas,

he's not John Podesta. And it's just like, but people are, and then like somebody would comment, and then someone would say, that's not true. They're right. Chester Bennington's father, right? And then people would come and then like somebody would comment, and then someone would say, that's not true. They're right. Just your ven And then people would come back with like, sheeple, sheeple. You know, people just won't open their eyes.

They're in the dark sheeple. And I'm like, oh my god, people are, people are going nutty. Chrissy, it's getting, I think it gets, it's bordering on a little bit of scary. So, it is. So let's talk about something much more interesting or much less interesting, depending on who you are. Okay. I got, the kid is now sleeping in his own bed

after a two-year, you know, struggle. Oh, hi. And he's such a cute little boy. A bad boy. He's getting used to it, which means that my wife and I have our bedroom back. It's huge. It's huge, by the way, if you ever have to, you have your bedroom back have your bedroom back just a time for another one in there, yeah, that's right.

By the way, if you ever have a child, don't start the bad habit of letting them sleep in your bed. I don't know how it's gonna work out for you, but it's hard on everybody because it's cute and you love it and then it's warm and you're cuddly and everyone's having a good time But my son for the last like six months was getting super extra squirrely and waking up all the time and he was like literally thrashing around In his own bed. He didn't do any of that and so now my suspicion is that he actually wanted to be in his own bed He wanted it just like us. He just couldn't communicate that to us, right? Yes, and so he so he goes into his own bedroom now.

And so my wife and I have our room back like we can watch them TV, we can watch a movie if we want to. We can have a little romance. Right. Romance when you have a child and one on the way is get to bed a little bit early. Yes. And so hey, baby, she says sexy words to me like, go ahead, fall asleep. This tallywacker's not getting to use tonight,

because go ahead, fall asleep. And I'm like, oh, baby, talk dirty to me. Talk, keep talking. Count some sheep. If your pants are around your ankles, you're ready to get on the train. If your pants are around your ankles, you're ready to get on the train. If your pants are around your ankles, you're ready to get on the train. Yes. The more the lower you say it.

Sleep well, little bribe, bribe. 30, 29, 28. Boom. 29, 28. Pum sleep. We, there's a, there's a counting method to putting children to sleep that I made up by myself. So I don't know where I came up with it. But I, when Matthias was having trouble sleeping, it put you to sleep. It put after sleep like this. And then it started putting me to sleep.

Like I was the one counting, but I was the one falling asleep. And so I figured like from some of my yoga practices that there's some voice methodology to like getting in a relaxed state, right? So I'd be like, hmm, and counting backwards is always the best. As you learn in school, where I don't know, but I remember this from school, mainly for me sleeping in high school, any of the high school classes that I failed. But you could they have you do that too when you go in surgery Oh, yeah, that's right. I wonder why backwards I Don't know but it works on my son. So I'm so now I'm like 30

29 28 So we started doing this and it works like fucking magic So I count down from 30 to 20 and Matthias will start yawning instantaneously. He'll start yawning. Wow. It's, but he's gotta be, he can't be running around the room.

He's gotta be, he's gotta be sitting up in the bed. He's obviously tired and he just, well, he's fighting, right? But I start and then he starts yawning and he usually takes me, usually count down two or three times and then he's out like a light. But what started, so we did this like three months ago, what started happening was I'd start counting down and asked her to be asleep by 25.

She was like, right. And then eventually I was falling asleep too. I was so undueing the counting and I was putting myself to sleep. I can imagine. I wish I was learning this so early on in life. After a long night out at the strip club, I'd be like,

I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, 30, 29. Actually, I'd be like, 30, 29, 28, 27, 25, 24. That's not working.

Save a little bit for the morning. Save a little bit for the morning. Save a little bit for the morning. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I used that invite save some for tomorrow Hey, man, let's have a few beers and we'll save some for tomorrow. Thank you for tomorrow. What are you fucking talking about? We're gonna we're gonna cure coronavirus right here Game world

I'm gonna write an album. It's gonna be a concept album better than the wall It's gonna be a concept album better than the wall. Ha ha ha ha plus, let's go to the adult section and see if we can watch something. Yeah. So I put on Hamilton, failing to understand that Hamilton is literally three hours long and literally three hours of singing. There's no, at least at least the 27 minutes that I watch.

It's a musical. There's not a word spoken. It's 27 minutes of speaking. And while it's a great song that they seem to be singing for 27 minutes and a I was like, I can't do this. Attenham Astrid was like, I can't do this. I think if I was seeing it in a theater that it might be much more interesting. Live. Yeah, live, but I had no idea that Hamilton was going to be three hours of singing just singing. Yeah, that's why I'm not I'm the same way I'm not really a huge

fan of all of the musicals. There's a couple like Chicago really like Chicago and the movie but it's like you know that what was the Lala land that came Oh Lala land I actually like Lala land but there's talking in that movie like it's not all songs right yeah I actually like the movie but I just like the like the whole jazz thing. I think it's interesting. It's interesting to me anyway as a musician who plays over 16 different instruments. You're like Prince. I am like Prince. Can't play one song in any of them. He heard that before, haven't you? Is that before having you? Yeah. So I, you know, I'm trying to impress the astered and I'm like, more first dating.

We go over to Switzerland, or not Switzerland, excuse me, we go over to France and we're in the Pyrenees Mountains for New Year's Eve. And this is when we're still dating, right? We're I think maybe engaged at the point. And we go to this big party at this hotel in the top of the Pyrenees Mountains. So it's just like, it's just wonderful, right? You just, what you think of it, it's a dream vacation.

And so we're there with all of her family members and all this stuff. So when I was first trying to impress Astrid, I explained to her that I was a multi-talented musician, right? Well, it just so happens that at Shale la la la in the Pyrenees Mountains in France has a baby grand piano where there is a child that's like nine years old who's playing some, you know, can share toe on it, right?

But he's not like, he wasn't hired by the hotel, he's just a kid at this New Year's Eve party. It's like a hotel party, right? Everyone gets served dinner and then we all dance and there's a DJ and all this stuff. And so this is before it's a cocktail hour. And so Astrid starts speaking in Spanish and her dad starts encouraging me to play the piano. And Astrid goes, come on honey, go play,

go play a few things. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don't know any you know I'm a little rusty I don't know anything by heart all I'm playing in 15 years I'm picturing two ways this went either you were one of those of like no no no I'm not gonna do it no I can't do this yeah I'm like this he's rendition where you're like putting your foot up on it, or it plays it well. So, kind of both. So for like 15 minutes, I play it down, right? No, no, no, no, I don't wanna show anybody up. That's not my opinion though.

I'm not sure it's tuned correctly to my, I have a special tuning. I need a special tuning for mine. It's like, right. I need a special tuning for mine. It's like... Right! I'm so good. I need a special tuning. So it's obvious that everyone's making fun of me. It's Spanish because like, he's got

his own on a fucking plate of beer. And I I know this but I don't have Spanish to know that everyone's like sure He plays Special tuning You think you're about to dumb fucking idiots, right? And I'm like I got to just play something just to like I actually know how to play the piano, but the only Worse so the only thing that I could think to play... ...was Home Sweet Home by Motley Crew. It's...

Oh my... Yeah, there's French Shelley in the Bernice Mountains. 20 of my closest family members. They don't speak a lick of English, I don't speak a lick of Spanish. And I'm playing home sweet home by Mollie Khratt. Esther's dad's like, what song is that? And I'm like, oh, it's a special one. It's a new year song it's Beethoven some of his early work

so it's lesser now early it's from his first album It's from his first album. You like the 9th Symphony? You should check out his only work. I should have lost it. The 9th is after he sold out. It's not so good. Here, let me play. I'm on my way. Just send me free. Oh, sweet. Oh, my God. I'm excited for life. I can't. I hope this is half of the funny to the people listening.

That's funny to me. Was Astrid a press. Oh, she was not. So then I think it's a smart-ass move for the decks like the three birthdays and holidays. She got me a musical instrument. Like here, shit, I play this new guitar. I cut you and I feel like, yeah, later. Later. Too busy at work. Man, God bless America.

That was pretty funny. I just, yeah. I was a good laugh. That was a good laugh. That was a good laugh. It's like, it's just how you picture it, dude. It's like the snow in the backgrounds and the mountains outside the windows and it's dark.

And there's lights all over. You know, the beautiful lights and the trees and people trees and People skiing and on holiday Yeah, I never was dressed up in tuxedos and beautiful here comes Brian with a home sweet home By the way the nine-year-old Eventually stood behind me I think his parents had encouraged him to take over. Like, we paid $1,000 ahead for this party when I got to the dishes and we're in it.

He didn't need a special tuner. Yeah, and so just as hard as we were laughing, that's how hard my in-laws were laughing after I got off the piano. And my father-in-law just looked at me and he said, you don't know how to play the piano. That kid knows how to play that piano. That can't know how to play the piano. Yeah. You know how to put your fingers on the keys. Come on, honey.

Play me something. Play me a little something. So now it's a running joke every time that, you know, there's an instrument in vicinity that would say, hey, play me something. Brian. Brian. Great.

So I've got two. We were in a band. I was in a band, but I was singing in that band. And I did. Which is, oh, I mean, my voice is my instruments. That's right. That's right. So then some people sometimes will ask me to sing and I'm like, you got to be fine.

No. I'm feeling a twitch in my throat. Have you ever heard the band creed? Just imagine that much worse. Scott, Scott, Scott stab has nothing on me. I saw, we were flying out of Atlanta, air speaking of creed, we were flying out of the Atlanta airport one time.

And it's me and Astrid and Matthias, and he's just a little baby, and it's crowded, shit, you know, we're an international terminal, and we're getting something to eat at that food court. It's very crowded, so everyone's kind of packed in, next week you should- International terminals, really nice here.

It's beautiful, yeah, and they have the huge- They, in fact, have a piano. Where's the big place? Oh! Yeah, that guy makes it. That's so much actually wants to pay him. They people want to pay me to get off the piano. So we get something to eat at whatever the Burger King

or the McDonald's, and we're about to fly to Spain. And we take a seat at a very, in the very crowded at this time, food court. And we sit next, you know, it's a two person table. So we roll up the stroller at this time, food court. And we sit next, you know, it's a two person table. So we roll up the stroller at the time on the right side of me and then ask for the sits on the couch, which it's like a big long bench and then I sit in the chair.

Or bench. Mm-hmm. And I notice the two guys next door at both have, or the two guys next to me have the guitar. And so the one, the guitar. And so the one, the guitar, and so the one guy moves his guitar case, right? So that we could put the thing there. And I'm like, oh, thank you very much.

And he's like, yeah, no problem. And he is facing me. So he's sitting on the side that Astrid's sitting on. And then I look over to the guy that's sitting, facing my same way. And it's got staff from Creed. Yes. And so, and he's hard at work with a monster energy drink in his hand

He's hard at work like spelling out how he's how he's gonna put together this massive tour for his comeback album You know he's like didn't we're gonna go play Madison Square Garden and then we're gonna go play you know We're gonna play Wimbley Stadium. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. At least that's what I'm kind of catching from the thing You know what I'm like wow and yeah, I't, I still haven't heard about that come back. I was just getting started when COVID. Yeah, that's correct. So I'm gonna buy some, because of all this coronavirus stuff, I've decided I'm gonna buy some shin guy.

Shit guy, you know, it's a rock. So for those of you that don't know, a rock. It's a rock. So for those of you that don't know, coronavirus has stopped by one of two things. Either being in a large crowd where other people are not wearing masks. That's apparently where it's coronavirus. There's like a big invisible force field, like a pool or a concert or whatever. But there's a secret weapon against coronavirus. I don't know if you heard about it. It's called Shengite. And Shengite is a magic rock.

It's about, it's probably about the size of a half dollar. And it's nice and smooth. And it can be, it's got brown with spots in it. Oh, like a little river pebble. Yeah, it's like a little, it's like a little river pebble. And what it actually is doing is it's stopping the 5G waves that are coming off the towers from getting into your brain, which is actually causing coronavirus.

Oh, you learn something new all the time. Well, here's how we learn this. There's this guy on Twitch. So Twitch is this platform for gamers to stream when they're gaming. Yeah, that's one of that. Yeah, it's like, I've watched a few videos on there and there's a couple of guys that are on YouTube that I enjoy watching. I think they have good shows on YouTube,

and apparently they live stream on Twitch, so I've tried to catch them a couple times on Twitch. And what they do is essentially they do a show while they're gaming, right? Which is what a lot of people do. And now Donald Trump has a Twitch account. I'm not sure if he's gaming. Don't they suspend his account?

I wish they would. I don't know. I don't know. I watch him watch TV watch Fox. That's right. So, so there's this guy called doctor named doctor disrespect. It was been on the platform for while and please again this I'm just I'm just learning about no disrespect no disrespect. Doctor respects. Yeah. He seems like a pretty affable funny guy. Like the couple of things that I watched of him, but he is their biggest star, one of their biggest stars.

And then last Tuesday, he just falls off the platform. Like, Twitch says they've said, they say nothing actually. And then Dr. District Respect says nothing. And they, but he's just gone. His channel's gone. Everything's gone. And he just signed like a multi-year, multi-million dollar contract with Twitch. So Twitch is now signing their top, you know, people to keep them on Twitch so they don't go over to YouTube or whatever. Yeah, Netflix is going to start carrying gamers

for four hours a day. I don't know. But this Dr. Disque respect guy just falls off the face of the earth. And so he has millions of followers, most of which are young children, like teenagers and young kids and 20-somethings, and they're all freaking out because Dr. Disrespect isn't on the show. And he's there like every day for like six hours a day. And so they're all freaking out and they have like this whole thing going on

about what happened. Did he sexually abuse somebody? Was it something nefarious? Like is he running drugs or whatever, right? It runs the gamut. But I found the most logical explanation is the guy about three months ago, all the sudden started peddling like this 5G is causing coronavirus bullshit conspiracy theory stuff. And then he was telling people that he was buying Shenguite to protect himself and he was like showing it on air. And I don't know if he had that he was buying Shenguite to protect himself. And he was like showing it on air.

And I don't know if he had a deal with the Shenguite company or you were trying to sell it. Didn't I didn't hear that. It didn't seem like that to me. But I think what Twitch is saying to themselves is, hey, if we're going to gain some respect when the mainstream audience, then we can't be the ones that are out there peddling fucking conspiracy chill conspiracy theory to fucking children. Right. It's like he's like the Alex Jones of three or Kermey is not a frog. Bert and Ernie are the same person.

Oh, that's a good one. Do you ever see them together at the same time? No, you don't. Oh, you do. And you know, they have a character on there called Q. Maybe he's Q and on. Maybe Sesame Street is the key to this whole shit and Dr. Disrespect was about to take that shit down. And so they had to put a stop to it

because you know, mainstream media and all that bullshit. Fake news and all that shit. So I started doing some research on Shengite. So I started doing some research on Shengite and Shengite is actually a thing. And there are millions and millions of people around the world that are buying Shengai to protect themselves from 5G waves. And I'm like, what in the good fuck are you thinking?

That's like a pet rock. You're buying a pet rock to protect you from coronavirus? You carry that in your pocket when you go around. It's not a fucking, like, it's not an off product. It's not mosquito repellent. Yeah, like, it's not like a kryptonite type stone. Or is it? That don't know.

A rock in your sock will not protect your prick from getting sick. A rock in your sock will not protect your prick from getting sick. Nice, that's a good one. Thank you. I'm gonna become a motivational speaker. I figure if this doesn't,

if this whole thing doesn't work out, like if people turn on this episode, we'll pivot. Yeah, we'll pivot. As Allison Harris says, we're gonna make the pivot to motivational speaker slash Shen guys sales people. Or I can just play the piano on YouTube live for a couple hours

and have people pay me to do like it'll be reverse subscription like as soon as you get on the site you have to pay a dollar to get off. That's how I envision the break room. Like I'm just going to track people in and then they're going to be, you're in your mouth. I'm going to inundate you with emails of my piano playing. When we send out the newsletter, I'm going to send you some, the song that I played, I'm going to record it and then I'm going to send it to you and then you're going to pay me 99 cents plus shipping and handling. First to remove you from the break room,

which is fantastic. If people haven't turned us off already, this has been a podcast, 22 minutes of which is Kruppy and I laughing. Yes. I needed this. I really did. I'm about to have a baby of like 22 hours.

I enjoy it each week for laughing. I really do. We need laughter during this time of year. We really do need laughter. It's so serious and it's just as it's been so serious. I feel so good to break away. Yeah, it's a tough time, but I think that laughter is truly is a medicine and I think it's good.

And I'm like this hour that we spend together. And this is all I hope for the podcast. Like we talk a lot about, subscribe this and podcast hug and you know making a million dollars and no one ever listens. And we're a lot, we're very self, we're very self-effacing. But the truth is we do appreciate everyone who listens

and for us, all we can hope is that one person is getting a good laugh out of this. And I think that makes it worth it. Yeah, that's a good break for anybody. And one person is all it's going to get a laugh out of this because she's the only one listening and she's my wife. I know we have a good episode when I release an episode and then I like spend all night producing the episode and putting it together and all this other stuff. And then I usually go get something to eat. It's like toward midnight when the episode is released.

And I can hear my wife laughing in the other room. And so then I know we have a good episode because I'm like, I got my wife. I got my wife. I got my wife. She's a good barometer. She's a good barometer. Because even she likes my piano playing.

That's sweet enough. So let me tell you what's going to go on here. So let's do a little house cleaning before we go. In the month of July, Chrissy and I are not going to be doing fresh shows, but we are going to be doing, we are going to bring you new episodes. So we've recorded a number of episodes and those episodes are going to roll out over the next three or four weeks depending. I'm having a baby, Chrissy is going to take some time off. We thought it was a good time to do that.

But we have new episodes lined up in the can for you, as they say, professional speak, right? Professional pianist call it in the can. Professional pianist. Yeah, we want to follow up two of them. Two of them are followed. Yeah, so we have Rachel and my graph come in next week and then Jeff's going to follow the week after that and then we've got Chrissy and I will be back at it on the third week. So these are episodes that are going to air and so some of the stuff maybe we're talking about something that might seem a little dated like a few weeks and you'll know that that means that it's a new episode but it was just recorded a while ago as I run off to have a baby. But keep on tuning in and make sure you go to tcbpodcast.com.

You can listen to all the episodes, read the show notes, find out more about us, follow us on social media at the commercial break on IG and you can find us on Facebook and YouTube and join the break room. We'll send out the newsletter with behind the scenes stuffs, behind the scenes stuffs. I love that stuff.

Stuffs. There's a, there's a book, one final story for you. There is a book that my son loves. It's called Come Over and Play. And that, come over to my house and play. And that is by Dr. Sous. And it's one of his books for children children. It's not like one of the extra abstract ones. It's one that's pretty straightforward, but it's in line. Right, and so my son, who's two years old, has now decided that this is the only book

that exists on the face of the earth is this book, and he must hear it repeatedly night after night, right? Yes. And so I now know this book backwards and forwards. Like I know it, I only had to look at the pages. I just know it, I've read it like 150 times. So because my son doesn't really know what the fuck is going on, I just start making stuff. Yeah, you got to keep it interesting for you.

So go to TCP Podcasts.com, follow us on all the social media, join the break room, we'll give you a newsletter with behind the scenes action. Access to all the live shows that will be coming up. We'll do a few of those here. Who knows? We might do much more of them. We've got a YouTube channel coming up online and then of course, um, we'll give you a extra hour of content, which I don't know. We'll record it and then we'll just send it out. It'll be a good one. It'll be a fun episode just like this. I'm excited. I'm gonna gonna have to put I'm gonna have to put my face on for the YouTube. Oh, yeah Yeah, as my grandmother used to say. Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna do with my face I'm just gonna keep on hiding it behind this microphone like I do right now I'm gonna get a bigger windscreen for those of you that can't see me

We'll put a picture of this on the website But most of my face is covered by a windscreen Which is a thing that covers the microphone and it's like half my face. I'm just gonna get a bigger one covers my entire face It'll just be my face. Yeah, it will be your face. I think you should be the face of the man behind the screen Go to tcbpodcast.com and you can join the break room there. Only people that join the break room will get those extras. And please subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. We're on all of them.

So please subscribe. And, and, and, I must implore you, please, please, please, leave a review. It helps us out in ways I can't even begin to explain because I don't even really understand. It's just like how I really don't like to play piano. I really don't know how to play piano. But I tell myself I do, I'm telling you to subscribe. I really don't know why it works, but it works.

To leave a review. To leave a review. Please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. Chrissy Hody, I love you. I love you, Brian Green. And good luck. Thank you very much. You're welcome.

You're welcome. We're having a new band. Have fun on your time off. Thank you. It's well deserved. And so. If the beach is still floating. I think the beach will still be open.

I think you'll be fine. But just be careful. The good news is where you're going, the particular place where you're going, it's never crowded because they don't have the hotel capacity for crowds. So it's not like the place can get overrun with people like Destiny or Panama City or somewhere like that. It's a very quiet island. And the part of the island that you're going to be on is extra quiet.

It's on the far end of the island. So you'll have plenty of space out there, but just to get yourself in a pickle with the hotel pools or anything like that No, no, please cuz I need you back I'll be back I need you back babe I did em now, did em now, did em now How was it man?

Annalyn Mike McDee my man He still sounds great. I listened to him for like an hour today. I put on the best of Mike McDonald. And I just, and I just, I just was like, this is fantastic. It's total yacht rock, total cock rock. And I just love it.

I think it's great. Yeah, it's really good. Better than what we grew. And so to all of our friends all across the world, we say good night and we love you. And while we won't see you next week, you'll hear a brand new episode. And yeah, we'll see you in a couple weeks. Yay!

Bye! Bye! The Commercial Beat at gmail.com. Find us and follow us on Facebook and Instagram at the Commercial Bridge. New episodes drop every Wednesday. We can be found on Spotify. I heart media, Apple, Google and all major podcast providers. The Commercial Bridge is a great middleweight production production written and produced by Brian Greene, co-hosted by Chrissy Hodelay.