The Commercial Break - Big Corporate Baby Oil

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

Episode #647: Big Baby Oil simply must be in cahoots with Big Accutane and Big Tanning Beds, right? Strange foods A live baby octopus Bryan went bold Meat talk The cartoon pizza man’s pizza Jamie Foxx was poisoned by Diddy? A terrible trailer! Bryan issues his apologies Chapped lips! Bryan’s Accutane journey The inner child! Bad tanning habits!  Skin cancer Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey Chrissy, best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's the holiday season and a lot of times, podcasts like ourselves will take off, but not us, Chrissy, we have bills to pay and miles to feed. So we are going to be producing brand new episodes of The Commercial Break this entire holiday season.

And I thought it was important to let our audience know. Jingle, jingle all the way home. Jingle, jangle your dingle dangles. Stick with The Commercial Break and stay tuned for the 12 Days of TCB, our first ever 12 Days of TCB. That's right. December 13th through Christmas Day, brand new episodes every day. I feel pretty awful inside but I'm enjoying myself because I have got some new friends

and it's pretty strict but I think I'll be alright. On this episode of The Commercial Break... Well, it all does go back to P. Diddy. It all comes back to P. Diddy. It all comes back to baby oil. This is a conspiracy by Big Oil. Baby Oil, Big Corporate Baby Oil. Big Corporate Baby Oil wants us to believe that P. Diddy was the reason Baby Oil was sold out during the pandemic.

But no, no, don't you believe it for a second. Big Baby Oil does different. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. It's so dirty in the morning! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show,

Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian. You're the shrimp paste on my mango. What else can I say? Ha ha ha. There you go. Chrissy and I doing hard research here at the commercial break. Yes, we learned a new delicacy, shrimp paste and mango.

Mango, mango, mango. Which sounds like it tastes like puke in my mouth, that's what it sounds like. But hey, who am I to judge? There are different cultures and different foods for everybody. I think we've asked this before, but what is the strangest food you think you've ever put in your mouth? Yeah, I don't know.

I can't remember. I mean, I've eaten, like probably it would be maybe related to the sushi world. Yeah. For me, it's gotta be live baby octopus or beef heart. One of the two. And I haven't had either one of those. Yeah.

Ugh, ugh. Yeah, and I won't had either one of those. Yeah. Ugh, ugh. Just the whole like, yeah. I went to a beautiful restaurant on Berkeley, near Berkeley in San Francisco. We were just kind of traveling around the campus like area over there in that retail district, going in and out of record stores. I mean, they do have some really fantastic places,

little out of the way places there. And we went down some alleyway, down some stairs. And don't ask me how we got there, but then there was like a door that we opened. And then there was, we were all of a sudden in this dark, damp basement. And there was like a paper door that we like slid open. One of those like real Japanese doors.

And there was a restaurant no bigger than this room. And I'm not even kidding. There was like 12, 13, maybe 15 seats in there. What a best little hidden secret. I know. Two top tables, like four of them, and then like bar chairs around. And they had a window, but it went nowhere. It's just like a window to a brick wall. And it looked authentically Japanese because it was authentically Japanese, so Japanese that no one there spoke English. At least not to us they didn't. Right? And the menu is in Japanese and I don't even

sure that they had a like, I'm not even sure the health department had ever visited, but I mean it looked clean enough. It looked wonderful. And so at the time, you know, I was up for a challenge. I said, all right, let's eat here. The lady that I was with, a young lady that I was with loved sushi. That was her thing. And so I was like, okay, let's, let's do an authentic experience. So we get this menu. It's all in Japanese. I have no fucking clue. And there's some pictures, but it doesn't, none of it looks like stuff I would eat. Right. And so I asked the waiter in English, cause I know no Japanese, give us what the chef would give us.

Give us the chef's thing. Oh, give the chef's tasting. And eventually, after like some hand gestures and drawing pictures with a pencil, I think he figured out. Food in mouth. Yeah, food in mouth. Chef, you know, chop chop. Cat.

Chop chop, yeah. Dumb American, need the worst food you have for most price. Yeah. So he got it. He was like, ah, sucker born every day. Here they come. And the first course comes out fine, whatever. It's some kind of, I think, calamari, quite squid, something not cooked. But OK, all right.

There's a little sauce with it. Ate it. A little spicy, a little sweet. I liked it. Very good. Next one comes out. It is a plate with ice on it. And then there are like, I don't know how to describe it.

You know how sometimes if you eat escargot, you'll get it in those like a plate with little bowls in them, like little tiny little bowls? I've seen escargot, but I have not eaten escargot. Oh, that's another pleasantry that I could skip altogether. Escargot, not my favorite. So in there were, and it was like the ice was like, there was some dry ice.

It was like, you know, that kind of smoke coming out from it. And he put it down and in there was what looked like a baby octopus, right? Little tiny octopi. And I was like, oh, okay, all right. I like a little octopi. I don't mind that. That's good. Right. It didn't look cooked, but okay. Whatever. It's surely they're not going to give me anything that's going to kill me. Surely. Uh, and then as I went to go grab the chopsticks, as I picked one up, I realized that the tentacles

were wiggling. They were swimming. It was swimming. Was it in water? No, no, no, no. It was just sitting on the ice. On the dry ice? Yes. They were so chilled that they were like sleeping, right? They were swimming, it was swimming? Was it in water? No, no, no, no. Oh, it was just on the ice, on the dry ice? Yes, they were so chilled that they were like sleeping, right? They were like in that state of, oh shit, my body just shut down. Because of course it's a cold-blooded animal, so it just kind of just went to sleep, I guess. I don't know, Chrissy.

Because all I know is now I'm in it, now I'm there. Now the girl I'm with is challenging, like now it's a challenge. And she was a challenge altogether, right? Right, yeah, she was. And you love a good challenge. I do love a good challenge. I wasn't gonna back down from this. Listen, I'm not the most manly man in the world,

but when someone puts me to a test, I don't know. I very rarely turn down something really idiotic. Like I'm just gonna go ahead and do it. And as I'm putting it in my mouth, it is coming back to life. It is like, ah! And I was like, oh shit, this is live baby octopus. And I put it in my mouth and it squiggled around

and I could feel it and I swallowed it. I didn't take any bites. I swallowed it and I could feel it squiggling in the back of my throat. Absolutely terrible. There was nothing, like, I don't remember a taste to it, but I remember all of the texture. She did not, bitch.

I was like, oh my God, come on! You gotta be kidding me. So there were, I think, five of them in this little thing, and we just left four of them sitting there, and eventually they really started to squiggle around, and I was like, argh. And then, so the waiter came back, and I was like, those are alive.

Like, those are not cooked alive. And he was just like, you know, ah, he's like bowed to me, like I had done something great. And, you know, hey, listen, but then as the night wore out, as the night went on, I noticed that we weren't the only one who got this dish and there were other people who were eating it also. And I thought, wow, that's, that's brave. That is the freshest kind of sushi you can get is the kind that's still alive. And it was not pleasant. Not pleasant at all. And I don't remember the rest of the meal being particularly pleasant either. What I do remember is like the $280 bill I got in the end. I mean, it was expensive. Of course.

Yeah. Because when you have a restaurant with 10 seats, you're going to have to charge everybody $1,000 in order to make it work. When you have even a room in a basement in Berkeley, it's gonna be expensive. Yes. And wow, so that for sure is at the top of my list. And then one time we went to a restaurant here, Cooks and Soldiers, which I love very much.

I love Cooks and Soldiers, yeah. It's a great restaurant. I didn't know, but when I worked at Chili's, there was a waiter that I worked with there, and I considered him kind of a... kind of a noodnik. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, not the smartest, sharpest tool in the shed, but he was nice enough.

He just always seemed to need help doing something, like rolling silverware was a challenge, you know what I'm saying? How do you roll this silverware again? You know, you'd be like, really, dude? It's 50 cent silverware that you could bend with two fingers, rolled in a piece of tissue paper. I mean, how hard can this be, right? And he, it just was always, everything was a challenge. Where do we get the ramekins? They're sitting right in front of you. How do you put ice cream on a thing? And this went on for like years. He didn't know how to do anything. But then all of a sudden, he's like the general manager

at this really, not all of a sudden, but like 10 years later, he's this general manager at this really nice restaurant. And I was pleasantly surprised. I thought, wow. He failed up. You did. You found out where the ramekins go. Congratulations! You know where the ramekins go. It's all great. But, you know, I think that, I think he knew that I felt like he was a little bit of a dumbass, like back then. And so, but he treated us so wonderfully when we showed up to this restaurant. He was like, Oh my God, it's been years. What are you doing? Oh, here's my new wife. You know, this is ba-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Everyone's very pleasant to each other.

I thought, please don't talk about the cocaine margaritas. Please don't talk about the cocaine margaritas. Please don't bring up anything that ever happened then. This is my new, this is, I had known Astrid for all that long at the time. I think we were together for about a year, year and a half. And he said, oh, let me do it. You guys order the entrees, the rest, let me take care of it.

Okey-dokey, smokey-pokey. First thing that comes out is some kind of carpaccio. Delicious, beautiful, lovely. Second thing that comes out is octopus, right? But actually cooked this time, right? So lovely. Polpo, polpo's a traditional Spanish way with a little paprika, salt, pepper, boiled, lovely.

And then the third thing that comes out, he says, I'm not going to tell you what this is. I just want you to try it first. You're going to love it. And Astrid smartly stayed away from that. And me and Rafa were there and we were like, oh, okay. It looked like a steak. Like it looked like a piece of, not like steak, like maybe like a, like a liver, like a pate or something like that. And I thought to myself, this is foie gras. This is foie gras, this is what this is. And so we started eating it.

It had a distinct flavor of blood. Like- Oh, I can imagine. Yeah, like when you cut yourself, your finger, and you lick it, you know, it's like that iron-y taste to it. You can even smell it, right? You can smell that iron. And in the first bite that I took,

I was like, oh, that tastes like I'm just drinking my own blood. That's gross. And no shit, like, I don't know, 10 minutes later, he comes back. By the way, Rapha's gobbling it up. He's like, this is delicious. I love this. This is fantastic. And I'm like, of course, of course. You lived in Costa Rica. You were literally picking stuff off the ground and eating it at one point. I mean, honestly. Rafa claimed he was growing jalapenos in Costa Rica one time, and he's like, you love jalapenos? I love jalapenos. And he brought something that didn't look like a jalapeno back to the house, he was like chopping it up, and I tasted it and for like a week I shat fire. It was not a jalapeno.

It was something else, but it wasn't jalapeno. Anyway, Rafa's gobbling it up. I'm trying to be polite, because now this guy has given us something and he's being so nice. Now you feel obligated. Of course I do. So I'm just kind of pushing it around my mouth,

trying to swallow, trying not to, it's not the worst flavor in the world, but it's certainly not something I'm enjoying. And then he comes back whenever, and the waiter was being coy with us too, what do you think? And we're like, oh yeah, it's great. What is it? And he's like, I don't know, you guys take a guess. And we're guessing all this. I'm like, it's foie gras. No, it's not foie gras. It's pate, it's not pate, it's goose lit. No, it's not. Okay. All right. I'm like, I don't know. I'm at a loss. It's some kind of liver. I'm sure of that. That's what it is. It's beef heart. And I was, ugh. And I know this is like a

delicacy for some people, like really like beef heart, but not for me. That was not for me. Bull's testicles, I've had those, the Rocky Mountain oysters, those are- You've gone bald in your life. I have. Now I stick to like, you know, cream and cereal. Well, I was gonna say. I've had my moments in the sun. I've decided. I will share that Rocky Mountain oysters were not as good as some people claim, but not as bad as you would think. It is kind of somewhere in the middle and they're fried. Like it's anything that. Oh, everything that's fried has kind of the same taste.

It tastes like fried food is what it tastes like. What's the best bite of food you've ever had? Oh, God. I mean, probably there's been some sushi and maybe like a steak, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A really, really good steak. Yes. Rathbun's has a good steak.

Rathbun's does have a good steak. Yeah. I don't know. You know, I love a good mashed potato too. Oh, well, there you go. That's bold. Your favorite bite of food is a mashed potato. A creamy, buttery, salty mashed potato. That's really good. I can think of all kinds of really good foods. I think it would be hard to narrow down the best I've ever had. It's really hard. Yeah, because I also think it has to do with the moment that you're in, the place that you're at, the company that you're keeping, the smells in the restaurant, maybe even the

tunes in the background. Like it all has to do with, I think there's two. One is a steak I had in, not in Valencia, but a steak that I had in the northern region of Spain. I can't remember the town that I was in specifically now, but, and they are known, like Portugal, northern Spain, they are known for their steak, for their beef and the way that they age it and how they use every bit of the cow and how their cuts are perfect and you know, that's what they do. And for eons, they've been doing it the same way.

So we go to this town to go see Astrid's grandfather. Her grandfather has a best friend that lives down the street. So this best friend comes, Astrid, me, Astrid's father, Astrid's pregnant with Matthias at the time, with our child. And so here, whatever it is, the seven of us are, and Astrid's, she calls him an uncle, but it's not really an uncle, this best friend, right, of Astrid's grandfather, is so excited to take me to this restaurant to get this steak. Oh, that's nice. So we drive a little bit outside of town. We go to this restaurant. It is a beautiful

restaurant in this old building. It's rather large, kind of cavernous, well-lit. It's the afternoon. There's not a lot of people there. They put us at this big round table. They come to take the order and the Asherd's, I'm going to call it, say, the uncle, right, says in Spanish, I got this, right? I got this. Let me order for you. And he's like, you want a steak? And I'm like, I want a steak. Give me a steak. He orders this steak. And Chrissy, the piece of meat, it's a cow. A cow shows up to the table. That's huge. Kills itself and then puts it on my plate.

It is the biggest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. It is bigger than a tomahawk. It is the biggest steak I have ever seen. I'm not a big eater. Like I can eat when I'm super hungry. I, like anybody, I can eat a large amount of food. I do not, I cannot eat five pounds of meat in a sitting. This thing is huge and it is absolutely spectacular. It is delicious.

Now I only took like six bites of it because there's only so much food that you can eat in one sitting. I only took six bites of it. And then of, I try to pay the check, but no one will allow me to do that because I just ordered a six, someone just ordered a $600 steak for me. And like, now I feel bad that I only took three bites of it. But I mean, what did they want me to do? Right? I don't know. I'm just a boy. I'm just a boy with a small appetite eating live octopus in a strange place in a basement in Berkeley. But I think that if that's not my favorite bite of food, my favorite bite of food would have been polpo octopus done the traditional Spanish way in a market in Madrid

and their very famous square. Like they have a lot of squares there. There's squares everywhere. There's square and that square, Guadalupe Square. And yes, there's squares and that's, you know, it's a great place to be festive and have a party and, you know, stare at your neighbor. I don't know, it's something like that.

And there's this huge Madrid food market there and it's this big building. It feels open air, but it's not, but it's huge building and there's a market inside. It's always crowded. There's packed with people. We've been there a number of times and they have all these food vendors all around and in the middle of it.

And then you go and you pick your food and if you can find a seat, great. And if you can't, you just eat while you're standing there talking to people. And we got from one of these vendors, we got octopus, which is not out of the ordinary there. You can get that almost anywhere. We got this octopus sliced up. Sure, near the sea. Yeah, near the sea.

Madrid's not near the sea, but Spain is known for their seafood, right? And sprinkled on some, a little bit of spices. A little lemon, a little salt and pepper. A little lemon, a little salt and pepper. Chrissy, it was the most delicious piece of food I've ever had, but not necessarily because the octopus was good, because the company, the atmosphere, the smells, the sights, the sounds, it was like a perfect moment in heaven. You know what I'm saying?

I do. Then we had children. No, I know, as you were talking about- And I never had a moment again. As you were talking about that, I thought about all the food I had in Italy, and basically that is all of the best food that you can imagine. I mean, the food there is just incredible. It's so fresh, so delicious, homemade.

I mean, the pastas, the sauces, all the stuff, it's so good. When you're talking about this, it reminds me of the time that Astrid and I were in Venice. Same trip, you know, baby moon, whatever you call it, baby moon before our first child, we went to Venice and we spent, I don't know, I was thinking four or five days in Venice. And it was cold, it was like in February, freezing cold there, but that was good because that meant there were a lot less people. Tourists.

Yeah, a lot less tourists and we kind of got the town to ourselves. And one of the nights Astrid and I are just dumping around, walking back to the hotel, and we're both hungry, and we've passed by this pizza place four or five times. The sign literally has like one of those pizza guys, you know what I'm talking about? The guy with the pizza in his hand, and his hat's flying off, you know, like a caricature of a caricature of the pizza man, right? The roly poly with an apron on, you know, like a caricature of a caricature of the pizza man, right? Rolly Polly with an apron on, you know, it's a drawing. And I was like, that's not Italian. That's not, this is some crap. This is their version of Domino's. But every time we pass, the place is packed, packed, right? And so it's the last restaurant kind of before we get toward

the hotel. And so I, so Astrid and I looked at each other, we're like, why not? A piece of Domino's pizza before we go to bed. This was anything but Domino's pizza. This was one of the best, this was the best pizza I have ever had in my entire life from the cartoon pizza man. I got the best pizza I ever had in Italy from the cartoon pizza man.

It was unbelievable. It was so good. So good. God, the food there is just so good. You can't deny that it went, the food in Europe is just so much better. I mean, listen, there are lots of great places to eat in the United States. I've been to a lot of them. Definitely. And I'm not saying that every place you go to in Europe is so much better than the United States. It's not, but there are, you can go, there are restaurants on every corner. Most of them are mom and pop restaurants, the Beno family. And that's the difference here. It's a fucking TGI Fridays on every goddamn corner. And anymore they went bankrupt or cheesecake factory or everything is homogenized and it all tastes the same.

And you know, you don't have that, you don't have that same mom and pop kind of, the family gives a shit, someone's back there cooking because they care, they love it, it's their livelihood. You just don't have a lot of, you don't have as much of that here in the United States. And that's what I love about Europe. I feel like there's beginning to be a resurgence though. Kind of.

You know, especially downtown where I am, there's a lot of just, you know, one place. One off places. Yeah, like that. Kind of, yeah. You know, especially downtown, where I am, there's a lot of just, you know, one place. One-off places? Yeah, you know? Yeah. Family places, two friends start something. Yeah. I feel like every, because of the American dream, everybody wants to be rich and famous,

that you open up a restaurant. It might start off as the love of food, but then you have to open up 12 more and you have to stamp it and make it the next McDonald's or make it the next whatever. And I don't know, I wish I'd love that about America because it really can come true. You can, like, all your dreams can come true. You can be rich and famous and all it takes is a little hard work and maybe some luck and a little bit of smarts and financial backing from Elon Musk. But then, you know, if you can do that, then that is the true American dream. But what sometimes sucks about the American dream is that because everybody wants to be rich and famous,

More bigger, faster, run fast, break things, is that we don't ever, and not when we don't ever, but we get a lot less of the individuality. Because when you're trying so hard to be that like, that stereotype, archetypal, yeah, you're trying to be everybody to every, everything to everybody, you're nothing to nobody. And that is the challenge. And that is why Live Octopus, and I'm not even kidding about this, that's why live octopus in a basement in Berkeley, that's why people are standing outside in line to get into that place, is because there's some originality to it. There's some dude back there who just decided that this 300-foot, you know, office space turned into a beautiful Japanese

replication restaurant is gonna be my baby and I'm gonna take it to the moon and this is all I need, right? Now, I say that, it's probably the guy who started, you know, Benny Hanna owns it. There's probably 12 of them in Berkeley. It's like a sushi chain. What do I know? Anyway, do what you love, make it your passion. Look at us. Life's too short to eat bad food.

That's right. Hey, listen, that's, there's, you are so fucking right about that. And look at us. You don't see us trying to stamp out franchises of the commercial break. You know, there's some of these podcasters, all of a sudden they want to build a network of other podcasters who sound just like them. Fine, be a millionaire. Go ahead, make a living.

Pay for your kids food. Being good at what you do and have people like you. Instagram accounts more than 5,000 people. But I'll tell you what, it's fine. The water's warm down here in the shallow end and that's where I'm staying. That's right. We'll be back. In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being

forced to record liner after liner, and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast and go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now please text us at 212-433-3TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet.

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I'm Anna Garcia with True Crime News, the podcast. Every crime tells a story. Every story demands justice. True Crime News, the podcast covers breaking crimes, investigating high profile and under the radar cases. Every week we dive beyond the headlines, exploring the effects of violent crimes on victims and search for justice. We hope you join us as your weekly source

for true crime news. Listen to and follow True Crime News, the podcast on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Kidsplain, where kids explain how underfunded our schools are. Let's take a call from a listener. Kelly, are you there? Hi. I was wondering why I get less one-on-one time with my teachers. Great question, Kelly. It might have something to do with the fact that we have 3,500 fewer

teachers under Doug Ford. Ugh, that sounds about right. Want to help support students and teachers? Visit nomore.ca. That's K-N-O-W-M-O-R-E.ca. A message from the Ontario English Catholic Teachers Association. Okay, a couple of pop culture things that I want to talk about. Now, we're recording a little bit ahead of time right now. Like, not like we're the most timely podcast

in the world anyway. No, we're not. But we're recording a little bit ahead of time because we have, you know, we got 12 days of TCB coming up and we have to, and we also would like to spend some time with our family or without our family, which is fine with me. In the studio. In the studio. Here we are.

I asked her to woke up this morning. She's like, I thought you were going to take some time off. And I'm like, yeah, Thanksgiving Day. You're all mine, babe. Don't worry about it. So a couple things. So, I just heard through the grapevine, and I'm having a hard time seeing this in mainstream media, but apparently Jamie Foxx was here in Atlanta at the Fox Theater back in October or early November. Was it early November?

Oh, I thought you were going to talk about him doing karaoke with the Housewives of Atlanta down in Miami. Oh, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit about that. Okay, Jamie Foxx was down in Miami doing karaoke with it. We could do that one too, sure, why not? You know, was our friend part of it? Yes, our friend was part of it. You're kidding me.

No, no, no, no, no, not our friend. No, the other, the- Simon Govaria? Well, the girl he's divorcing, Portia. Portia. Yeah, yeah, she was part of it. Oh, we'll talk about that in a second too. Because this is Simon.

This is Simon. And for those of you who have listened to the commercial break for a very long time, you'll know that we have some inner twinglings with some people in The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I'll explain in a minute. So what I really wanted to share was Jamie Foxx is here in Atlanta doing a string of, I guess, stand-up comedy shows, kind of like entertainment shows, four nights in a row. You know, Jamie Foxx, about a year and a half ago, he was here in Atlanta filming some kind of movie with Cameron Diaz, and he fell very ill very quickly, and he was rushed to the hospital,

and for many weeks, no one heard anything from the Jamie Foxx camp. Yeah, everybody was worried. He was alive, he was gonna be alive, everything was gonna be okay, but no one said exactly what happened and a bunch of people speculated that he had a stroke on set. This upset Cameron Diaz so badly that she reportedly told friends, this is all hearsay, by the way, don't take anything here on the commercial break as actual facts. Cameron Diaz reportedly told friends, I'm done with acting. This is it. This is the last movie

that I'm doing and I'm walking off into the sunset. Now, whether or not, this was a year ago or a year and some change ago, so whether or not that remains true, I don't know. But at the time, I remember reading that Cameron Diaz was so upset and freaked out that she decided no más. Jamie Foxx's camp stays really tight-lipped about whatever it is that happened on that particular day. Yeah, that we still don't know, right? For sure. No one's ever said exactly what happened. But he did say, I came extremely close to death and by the grace of his words, God and the help of the people in the medical facility and my friends and family, I'm here today. It took me a long time to get back on the horse, but here I am. So about a couple weeks ago,

maybe a month ago and some change here in Atlanta does this string of shows, like Four Nights at the Fox. And some people online after they went to that taping, I guess it was a taping for something from Netflix maybe, after they get done, some people popped online and started saying that Jamie Foxx reportedly said that P. Diddy poisoned him and that is why he almost died. What? And yes, and some people claim that he was not joking. While in general this was like kind of a comedy show, that this part of the show was not comedy. That he was being serious. That he said on stage and claimed that he was poisoned by P. Diddy. That's

why he almost died and that was no joke. And no one seems to understand what he's talking about. How P. Diddy got to Atlanta and tried to poison him? Don't know. How P. Diddy was on set or someone on behalf of P. Diddy tried to poison him? Don't know. I mean, at this point, I'm not putting anything past the guy. I'm not putting anything past it. and I'm not saying it happened.

I'm not saying it didn't happen, but I thought it was interesting enough to talk about. So I read this, I read this maybe a couple of weeks ago. Then our friend Paul Scheer put out a video sharing the same information. And when Paul Scheer said it, I thought, okay, I think I want to talk about it too. I didn't want to talk about it a couple weeks ago. Not that we have the kind of reach or notoriety of Paul Scheer, but I didn't want to talk about it because it seemed like pure speculation to me. But now that people are talking about it, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon, get some clicks, you know what I'm talking about,

Christi? I think this is a very interesting turn of events. And it starts to make some sense why Jamie Foxx and his entire team never said a word. Jamie Foxx had a stroke. I think people would just say Jamie Foxx had a stroke and then he came back and now he's better. Yeah, I mean, it is very strange that they haven't confirmed that because then that could be, that could help other like people that have a stroke. Yes. You know, he could be an advocate for stroke survivors. But let me tell you what the strangest part about this whole story is.

You ready for this? Jamie Foxx at this same live event claimed that the reason why the FBI got hot to P. Diddy was because Jamie Foxx notified the FBI of his misgivings. Really? So Jamie Foxx is claiming that he was the one who called the FBI. He was the one who notified them about all the shit. He was the one who also notified them. He had been poisoned. He cracked it wide open. And that's why P Diddy went down.

Jamie Foxx and P Diddy have been seen, filmed, you know, lots of places. Like P Diddy and Jamie Foxx have been a lot of places together. They've been filmed and photographed and recorded so many places together. It would, by all accounts, would appear that they were friendly with each other, right? But maybe not. Maybe something else was going on.

And this all reportedly might stem, might stem, from a time that P. Diddy allowed Jamie Foxx for some kind of documentary movie, something, to record one of his parties. And Jamie Foxx had cameras inside of one of these parties. Now, some people say that Jamie Foxx was only allowed to record to a certain time, and then he had to shut the cameras down when the freak off started or whatever the fuck is going on in that place.

And some other people claim that maybe Jamie has footage that P Diddy or the knowledge that P Diddy didn't want out there. And so when things started getting hot and heavy for P Diddy, uh, he's poison time. Let's just go poison our enemy. It's poison time. But, uh, and I'm not talking about unskinny pop, you know what I'm saying? Oh, it's getting bad.

Bob Bob gonna poison my best friend. Cause got the tapes. I'm skinny. Bop, bop, bop. Yeah, that's wild. She's my cherry pie. Eat a poison. That's not poison.

Oh, that's not poison? Who is that? Oh, that's Warren. That's Warren. That's a different band. Okay, all right. Whatever. I get the picture.

Yeah, you get the picture. This is absolute insanity, as far as I'm concerned. Like, P. Diddy, if true, if true. Well, I mean, there was the whole thing with the Molotov cocktail that he pitched onto somebody's car and blew somebody's car up. I mean, all kinds of nefarious things. Threatening to kill people, having them sign NDAs.

The obvious abuse. The obvious abuse. Physical abuse and mental abuse. And yeah, I mean, I'm not putting anything past the guy. Listen, I've said this before. I am not a conspiracy theorist. I tend to think that the thing that makes most sense is probably true.

Not always, but true. 9-11, I don't think thousands and thousands of people could cover up one incident. I just don't think that, thousands of people could cover up, you know, one incident. I just don't think that, right? Because it doesn't make much sense to me. You can't have one person keep a secret for very long, let alone thousands of people that would have to be involved in this. So I'm just giving you an example. So when people say that there's some crazy sex ring running around, you know, Hollywood and la la la la la, and you know, deals with the devil and all this other shit, It, it, it's at least until recently seemed not farfetched.

I believe that there are lots of bad deeds going on in Hollywood that are covered up by wealth and fame. I have no doubt about that. I've, I've been hip to that for a long time. Sure. Since Kennedy and Elvis and Marilyn Monroe. This has been going on for a long time. But I didn't think it was like so, so crazy. And Diddy is now confirming that it is so crazy. It is crazy when you're poisoning other famous people because you're afraid they're going to turn on you or what the information that you have. And all these people that are just like, why is no one saying anything?

Where are the other famous people that were at these parties saying something? And now there are lawyers trying to pay people to not mention other names. There are private. I've been seeing all that. I know, private investigators are showing up to content creators' houses asking questions

saying that they can pay them to shut up or influence them. Yeah, it's a web. It's a web. It's a big web. And I think I'm seeing what's starting to happen here is that P Diddy has money, wealth, and fame. And he is starting to use that money, wealth, and fame to throw a smokescreen out there, right?

He's trying to get everybody all twisted up and mangle the facts and, you know, get to people before they say anything or get them to say something else or pay them to say something else so that when the time comes for him to go on trial, it's so confusing and it's so he said, she said, and there's so much bullshit out there and people have been threatened and paid and all this stuff that there's a likelihood that the jury doesn't want anything to do with it. And they just say, not me, hung jury or not guilty because I don't want anything to do with it. This happens a lot with people that are rich and famous. That's why there's two different systems of law in this country, one for us

and one for the people who have power and wealth. So this is becoming insane to me. And if true, P Diddy tried to poison Jamie Foxx. Is that not the craziest thing you've ever heard? I mean, to the point of almost death. Yes. And now it's making sense why Cameron Diaz got freaked out, right? Because Cameron Diaz and Jamie Foxx are apparently very friendly with each other. And she may have been one of the few people that knew what was going on. Now it makes sense why Jamie Foxx team or Jamie Foxx never said anything

about what exactly happened. Now it makes sense why this whole like all of a sudden the FBI got hept to this and really went after Diddy hardcore. I mean, there was that lawsuit. Yes. But I, the FBI probably was onto him before that. They had to have been, I mean, after all the years. I know.

And all of this for a terrible movie that Cameron Diaz had. Jamie Foxx made. It bombed, like big time bombed. What was the movie? Oh, I can't even remember the name of it, but I saw the trailer and I was like, that looks like the most uninteresting movie I've seen. I mean, listen, props to both of them.

They're great, it's a great actor and a great actress. Yeah, they're getting together. Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz movie is called, oh, it was on Netflix. Parents Back in Action is what it's called. Back in Action. That didn't even pop up on my Netflix, like we recommend this for you.

Yeah, well, oh, maybe it's not even come out yet. Oh, that's why. Well, this is November 19th, I think is. Well, let's put it this way, you haven't heard much about it, right? It's not one of those movies. It's not out yet. What movie? Oh, it's It's not one of those movies. It's not out yet. Yeah. What movie?

Oh, it's not coming out till January 25th. 25th. Yeah. Okay, rewind the tape a little bit. No way. Brian's wrong. He said anything about it. Yeah, I did see the trailer.

No one said anything about it because it's six months. Critics have given it a zero. Critics have said nothing. It's a cone of silence about anything having to do with this movie. This is why we desperately need a producer in here to help us back check shit. I swear to God, I'm sorry. It doesn't come out till January. It doesn't come out till January.

It's called Back in Action. Maybe it's great. I saw the trailer for it. Didn't look great, but okay, whatever. I don't know. Who knows? Maybe I should actually watch the movie before I make a determination about whether it's good or not. Yeah, here's Brian the trailer critic. Yeah, the trailer was terrible. It must have already come out. The trailer was terrible. Well another hot topic segment ruined by Brian's complete inaccuracy, complete disregard for

any facts or research whatsoever. Maybe they should have started with, what was the movie they were filming when he got poisoned? Where did that go? How's that doing? Oh, god. Oh, Brian. You know, if I was another podcaster, I'd cut this part out, but guess what?

I've got too many episodes to do, so you get shit, and I'll get shit. We're all gonna get shit. My face hurts, I'm laughing so hard. Sorry, Jamie, I'm sure the movie's great. Cameron, my apologies. Like they're listening. Well, it all does go back to P. Diddy. It all comes back to P. Diddy.

It all comes back to baby oil. This is a conspiracy by big oil, baby oil, big corporate baby oil. Big corporate baby oil wants us to believe that P. Diddy was the reason baby oil was sold out during the pandemic. But no, no, don't you believe it for a second. Big baby oil knows different. Big oil. Yes.

Big oil. Big baby oil. P. Diddy is going to be, P. Diddy is going to be found dead in a jail cell because of big baby oil. That's what the truth is. Oh my God. Cameron Diaz, Jamie Foxx, P Diddy, they're all covering up for big baby oil. I see you Johnson & Johnson. You got to manipulate your price after women stopped using it for suntan lotion. Your stock went in the shitter.

Well, guess what? We know, we know. That's right. It was actually Johnson and Johnson that tried to poison Jamie Foxx. Big baby oil. Oh, okay. Maybe that's a good place to take a break.

So I can research the story I'm about to talk about before I talk about it. Okay. Wow, I've had it in my face a lot on this show, but that was a big one. That was a big one. Back in action, coming on Netflix, January 17th, 2025. Check it out. I'm going to give him a plug now that I just ripped him a new asshole for no good reason. Except for I can't be bothered to read. Oh, all right.

Sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, Netflix. Oops. Whoopsie. In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCBpodcast and go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and

access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now please text us at 212-433-3TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet. All right, here we are. Chrissy doing her makeup. Oh, my lips are insanely chapped. I know. Some of my kids have that too. It's terrible. My face is chapped. I can't get it better. I can't get them better. I've tried every kind of- Vaseline?

Oh yeah, I've tried all of these. Regular lotion, like Cetaphil? Yes, I've tried regular lotion. Because you know what I found? And then it just doesn't. If anybody had, I know you have this, and this is terrible. I dated a girl one time when I was in high school

who had like the permanent chapped lips and her lips like crawled like a half an inch down below her face. I have that right now. Oh yeah, you do. You poor thing. Have you, anybody out there have a good like, and we're not talking about a little bit of dry lips.

We're talking about like super chapped lips, the kind where your lips start to extend beyond their normal range because it's so red and irritated. If anybody has a good idea about that, help Chrissy out. This does happen. Like a lot of times when I go to Colorado, if it's in the winter, then they get really chapped

like this too because it's dry. It's dry. And so with the heat now, because it like all of a sudden went from 70 to 20 here in Atlanta. And of course the heat's kicking on. Now there's the dry heat. So I even got a humidifier.

Put that in the room. I just have had that going for a day. So. We give that some time to work. I put a humidifier on summer, winter, because you know, air conditioning can be dry too, right? So either which way. It's like you go on an airplane,

you got that air conditioning blowing on you. It's just like your throat is dry, your skin is dry, your body is dry, you feel like you're dehydrated. So I've had that humidifier kicking for like three years. Every night, I had some pain in the ass, but I fill it up, I turn it on low and I let it go. And it has helped some of my children and myself with dry skin.

I get dry skin around my belt line, like on my hip. And it's weird because, you know, I don't normally, I could have something to do with the calc, so much calcium in my body too, for such a long time. But some of my kids have that, that chapped lips and this girl that I dated, it was so terrible. It looked painful kissing her, like you could feel how dry her lips were, you know, and that didn't matter to me, whatever, you know, it's just, it is what it is. But what I found sometimes helps one of my children

specifically who has really dry lips, is I'll put Vaseline on during the day or Burt's Bees or whatever, but then at night I just put regular lotion, like the C to fill that I use on their skin, or my skin, I just put it on the lips too. And occasionally. We all try that combo.

Yes, try that combo. And here's the thing I think about chapped lips in general is that once you start using some of those moisturizers on your lips, your body starts to depend on it. So it's like you, it's a constant. Oh, I'm a chapstick person anyways, no matter what. So yeah, this is bad. Of course thing.

But it'll get better. Any dermatologist out there. If that's the worst thing. Yeah, no, this is the worst thing. All right. Any dermatologist out there? That's the worst thing. Yeah, no, that's the worst thing that you got. That's, you know, that's not, that's not bad. I got chapped face. I'll tell you what. So, um, not only do I have, like I've, I've been putting this cream on my face, right? And then apparently, I think maybe I also got shingles on there too, which is something sometimes that can happen. Yes, which is terribly painful, hurts very bad. And it's like, now I have all these like pock marks on my face.

Now it's going away a little bit, but it's gonna take a little while for it to recover from I think that one, two combo that has been going on. And I'll tell you what, I feel like I'm a teenager again. When I was a teenager, I had cystic acne. CYSTIC ACNE is not like, you know, it's also the annoying little zits that are all over the place in clusters and all that other stuff.

But then it's cystic acne. Like, really in brown. Huge, yeah, big zits that are, you look like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer if you get one on your face. And that was happening to me when I was a teenager. And I'm telling you what, you wanna hide your face in a shirt or something.

And I think that may have been where maybe I started feeling like I needed to be funny. Tan? Tan! Tan! Well, that's it too. That's it. So I'll tell you the story. So I started to feel like maybe I needed to use something besides my good looks to impress people because I wasn't that good looking with the cystic acne all over my face. I would start to be funny. Like I would, it was a defense mechanism, essentially, I think. And then that went on. So like two years into this,

so now I'm like 14, 15 years old. I've been dealing with this for three, maybe four years. I started getting hair on my legs when I was like 10, right? So I went through puberty pretty early. It's all that, all those antibiotics in the milk. Steroids in the meat. So I go, so we, my mom drags me to dermatologist. I've tried everything. I've tried Retin-A, I've tried Clearacell, I've tried oral medication to

dry out my skin, all this other stuff. New product on the market called Accutane. Now, Accutane, I don't even think they give it out anymore. I don't think they do either. Jeff was on it too. Oh, he was. When he was younger and it damages your liver I think it damages your liver it can damage your kidneys. But the worst part about it is it can make you suicidal It's known to Induce suicidal ideation it fucks with your brain too. It's a terrible terrible drug But at the time it was considered a miracle like the thing. I remember a lot of people were getting on that. Yes.

So my dermatologist said, you got a pretty bad case of acne. I mean, you got it on your face, on your chest, on your back, like let's get you on this Accutane. You gotta take, I think it was first 30 or 60 days, something like that. And you take it and I took it religiously. Now let me tell you, it did fuck with my brain.

It sent me into some weird tailspin. And now that I look back on it, now knowing what I know, I realized that I wasn't going crazy. I was just taking a weird drug, right? But that period of my life, like that 90 days or whatever that I was taking it, or around the time when I was taking it, I was in some weird, like emotional tailspin for sure. Also going on at my house too, so it was hard to tell what was going on. Also you were young, like that time in your life. Yes. What, 13, 14?

I was 15 when I started taking it. My first girlfriend, dramatic drama. Hormones kicking. I love you, I would die for you. I'd die for you. Robin Hood had just come out. So I take this drug and your face just starts peeling at some point, repeatedly, never ending peeling, peeling, peeling.

It's drying out your skin. That's what it does. It stops the oil production in your body. your skin. That's what it does. It like stops the oil production in your body. And I think that's what it does. That's how it was described to me. So it goes, so my doctor explains to me that, hey, listen, so I gotta like do this checkup like once every three weeks, I gotta go in there, you know?

And he's like, okay, it's working. And now the peeling part starts, comes, it didn't end. It just went on for like two and a half straight months. I was just peeling all the time. And was really weird and gross and, you know, I hated it and I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to throw myself into the McDonald's fry basket. I did. I was like, this is terrible.

And my skin was so red. I can imagine, no, at that time of your life, again, you're so awkward. You're so worried about appearances and what other people think. It was horrible. And luckily I had some good friends around me that were like, you know, didn't seem to care though. I noticed they didn't want to eat around me, but hey, listen, what are you going to do? But man, did it work.

And it worked like a fucking charm. I mean, after like six months, which is, you know, what the, like the whole course, the whole duration after six months, I don't think I ever had another cystic acne breakout again. But my doctor explained to me, hey, listen, dude. If you could make it past the suicide thoughts. Yes, if you could make it past suicide. And crazy peeling. That's right. Then you're good.

If you can make it past the unalive part, you're going to be great, right? But no one knew this at the time because it was a brand new drug on the market. And so there hadn't been a lot of, there hadn't, it hadn't been out long enough for anybody to know. And I'm telling you what, work like a charm. It was six months of huge fucking roller coaster and really dark, deep, weird thoughts, but again, you're a teenager too. So those are coming anyway, right? Right.

It's just amplified by this weird drug that you're taking. And then, so we get toward the end of the course now, and he said, listen, we have no idea how long this is going to work, but it's likely not to last for the rest of your life. So it's not a bad idea just to keep a little sun on your face, keep it dry, wash it frequently, all that other stuff. The stuff that dermatologists were saying at the time about Accutane and the thoughts that they had around acne, which is dry out your skin, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So that's part of the reason it kind of got me hooked on sun. Yeah, on sun, I love sun. Now I'm all about sun and I think it's helping my skin, yada, yada, yada. So, but I'll tell you what, when you have this, like kind of one, two combo of putting this fluorosaurocyl on your face and then also possibly shingles, it's so fucking painful and it's so red.

This feels like the worst sunburn I have ever had in my entire life. It's so fucking painful. And I wanna hide my face. It doesn't look bad. I know it doesn't look bad now, but I tell you what, over the weekend it was angry. And I stopped taking this by the way, like I don I know it doesn't look bad now, but I tell you what, over the weekend it was angry.

And I stopped taking this by the way, like I don't know, six days ago, five days ago, when I think I had shingles pop up around there, I was like, oh, okay, okay, that's enough. Yeah. So we're out over the weekend and Astrid, lovely, lovely wife of mine that I just love and adore so much and she is just such a champ in my corner all the time.

But you know, you got to bullshit your partner sometimes, right? You just have to bullshit your partner sometimes. So I'm like, hey, you know, we're getting ready Saturday, whatever. And I'm like looking at myself in the mirror and I'm like, oh my God, this is terrible. I hated it so much that I put a mask on before I went to Starbucks. I had like one of those COVID masks on. So we're getting ready to go to the social function. put a mask on before I went to Starbucks. I had like one of those COVID masks on. So we're getting ready to go to the social function and I say, oh, babe, this just, no, babe,

it looks fine. Honestly, you put your glasses on, it looks fine. Now I know she's singing me a song. She's trying to calm me down a little bit, right? It looks fine. You're fine. Doesn't look all that bad, blah, blah, blah. And I go, babe, I think everybody notices this. It's like so bad. It's terrible. She goes, don't worry, no one's gonna notice. It just looks like a little bit of redness on your cheek. Don't worry about it. I'm like, I heard it so bad. She goes, don't worry about it.

No one's gonna notice. So we walk in to this birthday party at this Chuck E. fucking Cheese. Oh God. Which I thought was gonna be terrible. Not the birthday party itself, but like being at Chuck E. Cheese for two hours with the kids screaming and yelling

and asking for more money. But it wasn't. It was actually a fun, everybody had a fun time. It was a great party. So I walk in, bunch of people that I know, everybody, everybody within three seconds of talking to me, what happened to your face? I was in a fight with Mike Tyson. What do you want? What do you want from me? And every time I look over at Astrid, Astrid's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, right now. So I'm like, honey, it looks bad again. It looks so bad. I wish it would calm down and blah, blah, blah, blah. No, it looks better. You look fine.

It looks better today. You're fine. Everything's going to be great. No one's going to notice. Don't worry about it. We walk in to this private room that my mom got at like the facility to like have a little party and we walk in and what's the first fucking thing my mother, what happened to your face? I don't even answer.

I'm like, and Astrid's like, oh, he, uh, it's a thing. Don't, don't mention it, Vicki. Just calm down. Don't mention it. It's a thing. So now there's this like second party that we got to go to and we're driving home for my mom's and I'm like, I told you, babe, it looks bad. It feels bad. It's like, it's just so bad. And she's like, okay, you know what?

You know what? I'm going to give you a break here. You don't have to go to the second thing. Okay, we can just like, go ahead, stay home. I'll take the kids to go home. And I'm like, honestly, I would not normally be like, go, okay, I'm gonna bail on this, right? I do with, you have all these kids with you, like you need to, but I said, honey,

I'll give bath times, I'll give you an orgasm, I'll give bedtime, it's all me as long as you take these kids' thing because if one more person stares at my face and asks me what's wrong, I'm gonna go back into full-brown 15-year-old psychosis. Right, right. Which is what I feel like. It's weird. You know, therapists say that's your inner child, it's all your experiences, it's your

inner child speaking. You know, I believe it, I've always believed it, but if my inner child came roaring back, I felt so fucking weird. I was just like, God damn, I feel like I'm 15 again. People just staring at my face and master's like, sure, remember this next time you want to go to the tanning bed. I'm like, don't even get started with me. Don't, don't start with me woman. No more tanning beds though. No more tanning beds. Well, listen.

Look, you did stuff that you were just putting on your face was for sun. Sun damage. Yes. Yeah. I know. Now I got a fresh start. Oh my God.

That's where my brain goes, I got a fresh start. What can I say? I don't know if I'll be doing, well listen, I don't know if I'll be doing sun tanning anymore, but I will. Go all in on the spray tan. Go all in on a spray tan. I know, but it's just not the same.

I don't wanna be like Donald Trump walking around with two raccoon eyes and like, like half my face sprayed, but the other half not. Look, and two, I have a bald head. So if I'm going to spray tan, we got to go all the way. Like you, I can't, and it's, I got a little bit of hair on top. Do you know what I'm saying? Cause if someone spray tans me, cause I've done this before, I've done the spray tan, someone spray tans me, there's gonna be these lines

around my hair and how do I handle that? I'm gonna look like an idiot. There's plenty of things on the market too that you could try at home. That's good quality stuff. I did, you gave me something, yeah. And then this girl at the tanning bed, you know, I did spray tan for a while and it didn't look terrible.

It looked okay. But then this girl at the tanning bed sold me on the $700, you know, whatever Yeah, I mean I swear to God I have more lotions in there from that tanning plate I swear to God that tanning place gets me every fucking time. She's like you have $370 worth of tan pan credits and you want to use them for this and I'm like no no, why they're gonna expire and I'm like, okay She's like you can get 12 bottles of lotion with for this?" And I'm like, no, no, no, no, why they're gonna expire. And I'm like, okay. She's like, you can get 12 bottles of lotion with that and $300. And I'm like, okay, tax and service fee is $500.

I was like, wait, I had like $600 and now I'm spending 500 out of that outfit. And then she gets me with this self-tanner and I'm like, listen, I don't know how much longer I want to be doing the real thing. You have like a tanner, I don't know what you call it, whatever, you know, so I'll use this. It's great. And I use it and I literally turn commercial break orange the next

day. I'm like walking around like a neon sign. I'm going to give you some other stuff. You can just try it on a little patch of your skin before you go full face and head. I'm going to try it on my penis first. See if I can get a little darker, a little longer. Yeah. Yeah. Well, listen, here's the moral of the story, kids. Moral of the story is don't take Accutane. That's the moral of the story. That's right.

Yeah, Jeff took it too, and he's got good skin now too. Does he like the sun? No. No. He's not a big sun tanner. Oh, well, I guess that's- I mean, I hate it, but- The tale of two cities. Well, he actually did have a little skin cancer on his face one time,

so now he always slathers up the sunscreen. Oh, he does? Like the serious kind of skin cancer? No, I mean, it wasn't serious, but he had it removed and it was fine. But since then, he's very adamant about putting sunscreen on. Yeah, listen, I'm adamant about the self-checking all the time, because I have freckles too. I'm Irish. So you got, I got to be really careful because what can appear to be a freckle may not be a freckle, right? And so, um, yeah, we both go for full body scans once a year. Once a year. And the doctor always says, looks great. Everything, nothing to be concerned

about, right? Nothing to be concerned about. And I had this part, this little patch on my face, and one day I woke up and it was red. And I was like, oh, that's weird. I don't remember hitting myself. And he said, well, it could be this like, quesosis or whatever, whatever you call it. Like it's, it's not cancerous. It's like pre-cancerous, but it's not a dangerous kind, it just makes rough patches. And he's like, or it could be this other kind that like, you know, is a little bit more upsetting, but we could just cut it out. And he's like, so what you gotta do is

let's do that for a psoriasis, and let's see how it reacts, right? And so I think it's not the dangerous kind. But the point is, is like check your body all the time. You gotta do that. Definitely. And then Astrid and I, you know, we've got these, he gave us this card and it's like, this is what to look for, right? And so you can do, you can do the self-checks or you can do the partner checks. Check your partner and check all over. He looks under my scrotal. Yeah. I mean, that's how, that's how in detail he gets. It's full, it's full body. Does your dermatologist

go vulva? Like checking your, okay, just checking. Well then, and then they're not doing it. I mean, listen, he asked me, anything weird in your butthole? That's what he asks me, like anything weird in your butthole? And I'm like, how the fuck am I supposed to know? Now or before? What's that?

Now or before? Yeah, now or before? When? Right now, I don't know, is your finger up there? What's going on? What are we doing, doc? I didn't come here for a full rectal examination. I came here to check my skin and he's like, skin's everywhere, dude. Biggest organ on your body.

That's true. Do your self-checks. Check your tits, check your dick, check your skin. Yeah, check it all. That's what we've got to say. That's the moral of our story. Another great PSA for Brian. Another great PSA for Brian. The commercial. Check your butt, check your boobs, check your balls. Check it all.

Check it all. Check everything. You've got to check. It's your body. You take care of it. No one's going to do it for you. Even the doctors get it wrong sometime It's true. Take it from a guy who spent almost 20 years

with a body full of Calcium. Yeah, like I was eating a calcium stick. I got a calcium lick to my face God, that's crazy to think about. It really is to be sick for so long and not even and then to have indicators that that's what's happening and have no one pay attention to it is scary. And that's why I say it's up to you. It's up to you. You got to do it. Thank God for my new doctor.

Thank God for a bunch of doctors who just kind of got together and said, oh, that doesn't look normal. It's happening. Yeah. Okay. All right. So listen, 12 days of TCB right around the corner. We can't wait for you to turn in. Turn in. We can't wait for you to tune in because we're going to work hard to make sure it's good or at least acceptable. And I might even check out facts. Back in action coming on Netflix, January 17th, 2025. I'm sure it's gonna be lovely Jamie and Cameron

So 12 days of TCB 13 through the 25th all brand new episodes right through Christmas Day We can't wait to deliver them and then back the next week for more episodes. It's crazy We basically are doing episodes. We're doing episodes like 20 of the 31 days in December. So enjoy. We hope you do. So come on. Come on with us. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822.

Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. You want us to talk about something on 12 days of TCB? Let us know what your favorite segment is. We may repeat it at the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on TikTok. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. ideas. You want us to talk about something on 12 days of TCB. Let us know what your favorite segment is. We may repeat it at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock www.tcbpodcast.com for your free sticker audio and video and youtube.com slash the commercial break for now all episodes of the commercial break on YouTube and Spotify. Christy, that's all I can do for right now. I think so. Tell you that I love ya.

And I love you. Best you. Best you. Best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say, we will say and we must say, Goodbye. Goodbye. I get ass.