The Commercial Break - Boiler Room Confessionals

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

Khloe K is doing her thing, looking great, staying out of the drama and.....her hands....what is up with those HANDS? Bryan told his high school priest he didn't care for religion. He got the Catholic equivalent of writing 100 words on the chalkboard...Hail Marys. That did the trick! Then Bryan thinks a little motivation is what will take TCB into the stratosphere. Grant G is ready to the team the coaching they need! Then, Bryan shares about his own public speaking nightmares. Plus, Krissy has Pink Eye! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ah! Oof! Ouch! Ow! Ow! Charlie! Charlie! Really?

Charlie bit me! On this episode of the commercial break, and I had to do like 300 hail mario whatever one of Chrissy was fucking ridiculous. I had a friend. I really, they really showed you. You're a deviled Catholic. Yeah, look at me. Yeah, yeah.

But they got me. They got me. It was the 299th hail mario that convinced me God was good the Catholic God was the real version of it right Just blind act busy. Yeah, I know you're a loser. You got nothing on that calendar Don't worry about your joke. What you got to pick your kid up at school. Let him rock Leave him leave him Let him rot! Leave him! Leave him! You gotta close the deal!

$400! It means a full pipeline! Girls with fake boobs! Jacuzzi's on private air! Plains, airplanes! You're gonna be there anyway! Tell your kid to take a cab home from school! What are you doing? You need to close that $400 deal!

And I'm like from school. What are you doing? You need to close that $40 deal. And I'm like, ah, $5 for an instant. $2 for this, $1 for that. I mean, literally selling ads for a dollar. And I'm nervous that I'm telling the sales that there. And I can see all these old people. Right. Yeah, well, we've seen you, kid. You're like a consultant, you come, you go.

We're not worried about you. you'll be gone in a day. You're just like the typewriter. It's not bad. You're just like the typewriter. It came and it went. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yes, sir. Another episode of the commercial break I'm Brian green. This is my good friend and co-host Kristen Houdley, who best you Chris best you Brian you out there in the podcast universe

I hope you're doing well. Thanks for joining us. I get another episode of this the commercial break I just don't even know what to say anymore about the Kardashian. No. I, there's a new level of, I'm not sure how to approach this, but I guess we'll just get right into it. Thekommers, youtube.com slash the commercial break if you want to follow along.

Visually, and subscribe, smash that like button. Smash it. Smash it. Look at those hands. Look at Chloe Kardashian's hands First of all, she looks great. She does she does she's plastic fantastic, but she looks great great great doctor Whoever that is right doing wonderful things with her lips and her eyes and her nose But there's a Gucci ad that's out there and I you probably have seen it you can Google Chloe Kardashian's hands if you really wanna look at,

it's like Spiegel's hands, it's the only way to explain what they look like. Like Spiegel or Maleficent. Yeah, I saw somebody say it's those hands that you think when you were a kid, we're gonna come out from the bed and grab you. Yes, yes, it's scary as shit. Her hands look so long and bony,

and then she's got these. It's really long nails like any I don't know that's like what would you call that it's almost like a goth look yeah to the nails They're long and look like Well her the skin color on her hands too is like matching her dress, which is gray. Yeah, so that's true Her face. No, which is Tanty Yeah, looks like me. Yeah

Yeah, he's going to the same tanning bed on me. Yeah, but her hands are great. Yeah, they almost like they powdered them or something or colored them in afterwards. Yeah. Or maybe that's just her natural skin pulse. It could be. Yeah, and then they put a bunch of makeup on her face.

But these hands are highly disturbing in this particular photo. She could also be like Nico and Dad. We don't know it. Well, that's true. Well, I mean, I won't get into it with Nico, but you know, at Chrissy and I were just talking, Nico started barking right before the show came on and I'm explaining that Nico is now fully senile.

He's, I'll give him a treat and he'll look, I'll put it right in front of his nose and he'll start walking around in circles looking for it and I'm like, Nico, it's right there, buddy. And I don't want to put it near him because then he bites, like, I don't think he can see real well. It doesn't have any teeth. Where is that?

I know. There's a rat running around him at night. It's just like, oh no. He's so neat. I know. And I was thinking, we have said this before in the podcast, I'm pretty sure the dog is on the way out the door. Like, there's only so many.

We've been saying this for two years. We've been saying this for two years now. We've been saying it for two years. And I think probably episode number 500, we're gonna be giving Nico updates too. But she might be, she might just be a ghost. This looks so weird to me. And then so I'm like, okay, well, you know, there's the magic of editing, right?

Somebody could have just distorted these hands to look a little longer. I don't necessarily know how they could have done that, but I'm also not a Photoshop-wise, or I would make myself look a lot better on this podcast. Maybe we need to get face to. Oh yeah, I tried some of that on Instagram. They were just so obvious. Yeah.

I'm not young enough to get away with that. So I thought, okay, you know, there's a lot of stuff that gets taken out of context and manipulated and all that stuff. So maybe you just give Chloe the benefit of context and manipulated and all that stuff. So maybe you just give Chloe the benefit of the doubt that someone's doing this. So I took a look at other pictures of her hands and they are pretty long and bony.

Yeah. Now, you can't help the hands that you have. Wow. So it's not like, I'm not saying she's a bad person because she has weird hands, but she has weird hands. Well, the nails aren't helping anything and the color again. And the color.

Look at those knuckles. They're just like, they're, they're, remember, do you crack your knuckles? Do you crack your knuckles? I do. Yeah, I crack my knuckles too. I've been doing it since I was a kid. Yeah.

Remember when I was a kid in Catholic school, the nuns and the priests and the teachers, don't crack your knuckles. You'll, no, no. Yeah, you'll end up with baseball size knuckles. And there was this old lady who used to go to the church She was like the I don't know like ahead of parishioners or some bullshit, you know the Catholic church I always give you stupid titles depending on what level of corruption you're involved in right and so this old lady is like

She said large knock-offs. Oh my god. Holy she was a costner exam They were but they were baseball sized and she like walked around and everyone was scared of her because she had these really weird looking hands With these huge right as probably or you know something can junk divide us up the hand or some shit like that I don't even know so I always was never I felt like I was doing something bad something wrong every time I cracked my knuckles But I had a compulsion to do so since I can remember right I have to crack to crack my knuckles or my hands feel like they're getting stiff and weird. Right. So I crack my knuckles. Now, obviously, many years later, we know that

cracking knuckles doesn't necessarily hurt your hands and all that other stuff. But this reminds me of what my hands may have looked like. Had those priests and nuns been correct about my, That's true. My scenery. I actually confessed once that I cracked my knuckles. That's a true story

in confession. I never wanted to tell the priest what I really did. So I'd always make shit out. I was lying to the priest basically. I was like, I cracked my knuckles. I stole a cookie. I, you know, whacked off. One of my friends went down. How many hail marries did you have to do that? I, I, one time I told the priest in high school that I didn't necessarily think that the Bible was a true story. And I questioned in religion class, I questioned the validity of the dogma, right? I like, I got smart with the teacher basically.

Yes. I thought I was. I thought it was death, how it's the science. Right, he's gonna stand up on the desk and lead a revolving challenge. Yeah. And he sent me straight to confession and I got detention and he's like, he was a priest, but he wanted me to go confess to another about my scenery, right? You know, taking God's name and vein or whatever the fuck it was. And so I went and I just just I was like so over it. I said to the priest behind the

whatever you call it in the confessional. I said, listen, I don't necessarily believe everything everybody else believes around this school. And he's like, well, that's a problem. Maybe you shouldn't be at this school if that's the way that you feel. And I was like, sure, talk to my parents about it. Maybe they'll get you out of this hell. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. No, yeah. Big knuckles. Big knuckle fingered cross. And so he gave me like 300 Hail Mary's or something. Wow.

Tell me he wanted me to go sit in the rectory or whatever it was. You know, the church there at the school. Yeah, where the pews are. And I had to do like 300 Hail Mary and whatever. Yeah. Of course he was fucking ridiculous. I had a friend. They really showed you. You're a deviled Catholic. They got me. They got me. It was the 299th Hail Mary that convinced me that God was the Catholic God was the real version of it.

Right. I had a friend once who was so upset about having masturbated that he was, he had to go to confession. I'm not like guilt. Yeah, and I was like, I don't think this anything would be upset. I'm like, I'm whacking off all over the place. If you did it once and you're fun, I'm going straight to hell. But I didn't care. I just wanted to look at Playboy magazines. So Chloe's hands, they're highly disturbing.

I don't know what to say about this picture. And she does have long kind of skinny, weird fingers. I also think she lost a lot of weight, a ton of weight. And I think had she not lost all of that weight, her fingers may be a little bit more plump. I don't know if you have fat in your fingers, but you must, right? Yeah. Like people who are bigger get bigger hands, right? They get kind of those like, you know, what do they call them sausage fingers? You get those sausages like my kids, they have little sausages. But this is not the only thing that's going on with the Kardashians.

The Kardashians are a hot mess right now. Or really, it's Kanye that's a hot mess. But he's making life miserable for those fucking Kardashians. Yes he is. He wasn't invited to his daughter's birthday. Oh. Yesterday he flew like a frontier airlines or something. I saw this. Now this is going to be guys just know that we do not record these like the day that you're listening. So, you know,

I understand this may be dated news at the time, but he flew on a commercial jet from LA to New York on a commercial jet. Wow. And not just the make a commercial jet. That's Kanye and fucking West. And not just the make commercial jet. Frontier. Frontier. Or what a frontier spirit, one of those two, right? It was a low-cost car. Yeah, they got pictures of them walking through the airport and going through security and he had that full mask on.

And he likes to wear the black mask with a hoodie that he had to take it off in the whole nine yards. That's not how Kanye West travels. Just like we were talking about the other day, you get that kind of wealth and you fly privately because you don't want to be bothered by every fucking Yahoo with the camera. Exactly. Kanye, for whatever reason, because he's a little scurry-lui in the head, right? He's got a couple of nuts and bolts banging around up there.

He decided he's gonna fly commercial. Man of the people. He will not. He will not. Did you see that? Well, the $ you know real estate for He's got a couple billion dollars in the bank. Did you see that LA coliseum thing that he did on Amazon with Drake He did this big production concert at the LA coliseum or the Olympics were okay full packed two nights and I'm right

I think it was two it was two shows did it with Drake? He did it with Drake and it was two shows in the same night. Well, they were kind of at odds. No, okay. Drake came on board and that was like directly after this whole Travis Scott hat thing happened. Seems like Drake got away Scott free. He's just running around putting Tabasco in his scene. Yes, it's condom.

So they did this whole show in Amazon broadcast at live. Oh, I caught a portion of it. This is not, I mean, he sings about being a man of the people, but putting on a hundred million dollar production like this is not what a man of the people. He's like Michael Jackson level at this point. Yeah. That's the kind of fame and wealth and grandiosity this guy has. But he is just so upset about the fact that Kim dumped him. That he refuses to get over it. He is writing an Instagram post

like a stream of consciousness Instagram posts that just does not end about I wanna back together. Yesterday he just blatantly said it, I'm begging you for a reunion with my family. Like I'm begging you, please stop it. Meanwhile, he's dating somebody. Yeah, I'm getting somebody. It stop it. Meanwhile, he's dating somebody. Yeah, I need somebody. So how does this chick feel?

If she's smart, she doesn't give a shit. Yeah, that's true. She doesn't give a shit. If she's stupid, she starts complaining, right? I find it's dating Kanye, I'd be like, it's just going. What have you won? Yeah, whatever you want. Why are we fighting commercial?

This was not part of the deal, Kanye. If you're going to find out for the death. If you you're gonna pine after your ex. I want a false treatment I was a full service Kanye is a mess. Yeah, he's freaking out and then p davis and just came out officially said called Kim his girlfriend Which is big news. It's huge news and like you know They've been kind of dancing around the subject for a while, but listen. We all knew and everybody kind of I know I was kind of like, is it, or are they, are they, are they, maybe there's a good friends, but now.

But isn't this just like a well-organized PR campaign? Could be. I don't put it past them. No, everything that the Kardashians do, I think that's well thought out. Well thought out, it's all planned. And so if Pete Davidson is announcing their relationship, he has approval from their PR team and probably now his PR team

She pulls the strings speaking of maleficence That lady is like She knows what the fuck she's doing. That is one powerful smart very weakly cunning woman Yeah, she she was like she was born for this. Yeah, it really is Honestly, yeah woman. Yeah, she was like, she was born for this. Yeah, it really is. It's really to manipulate the media. Honestly. Yeah. I mean, and she has done it perfectly every step of the way. What's his name? You know, what's her name? Ray Jay. No, no, no, his her former husband, Chris. Yeah, Chris. He comes. No, no, no, she's Chris. Jenner. Bruce Jenner becomes Caitlin Jenner. And she stands right the fuck by him the entire time. They get a divorce. They have to of course, she's Chris Jenner, Bruce Jenner becomes Caitlin Jenner. Yes.

And she stands right the fuck by him the entire time. They get a divorce, they have to of course, that's, you know, it kind of goes almost without saying. Right. But she stands right the fuck by him. He's still involved in their lives. She pulls those, but she doesn't get too involved. And then, you know, when he gets political, she backs off.

Yeah. You know, she pulls those Kardashians string. She takes them off east as by by to Ryan's Seacrest and goes and gets a bigger deal over it. Who or whatever the fuck. She is so. Yeah, it's very, very amazing. It's unbelievable. Yeah. How successful these people are. And it all started with a porn video. It all started with a porn video. That's, I mean, there's some good argue. Bruce Jenner was famous and then they were involved in the OJ Simpson. Yeah, I mean Kim was running around with Paris. So they were best friends.

But then yeah, the tape let loose that catapulted her then she was in playboy, then they had the show and it just went from there. It just went from there. And then social media came about and they were. Social media, the height of social media. They came online like right as Facebook was coming online and they rode that then Instagram God bless America.

Yeah, I thought I'll over that. The entire time she has had 100% Chris Jenner and Kim and maybe a little less so Chloe, but Chloe has a lower profile than Kim does. And then that Kylie Jenner with her smoke and fucking looks. And you know, she's also incredibly smart Those two Kendall and Kylie we saw them grow up on the Kardashian's and then they they grew up It's women. Oh, they did grow up Don't mind saying that at all, but they're also smart business

They really are what is it Kendall or Kylie that's the a candle billionaire Kendall first billionaire the Kendall's the youngest billionaire in the world I think with the makeup, with the makeup line. Everything has been controlled and measured and pined out except for one fucking thing. One holy shit mistake was made and that is Kanye fucking West. He cannot.

Well, he was a good friend for forever with Kim and then it looked like it was a good kind of match. Yeah. But he's definitely got off the rails. I never really thought that Kim and Kanye, like Kanye seems to me to be an outer space kind of guy. That would be with an outer space kind of woman. Like someone that was really, it almost seems like if Angelina Jolie was around Kanye's age, then they would make a good couple.

True. Because she's a space cadet and he's a space cadet in the two of them together. Kim seemed a little bit more down to earth and maybe not as creatively wild as Kanye is. And now Kanye can't get the fuck over. He cannot get over this poor guy. At first I thought it was funny and now I'm like, I've kind of feel bad for the guy.

Yeah. And we've all been there. We've all been in a relationship where we're like, please come back to me. I might have the broken heart syndrome. Yeah. Unfortunately, fortunately for the commercial break, we have 672 Instagram followers.

He has 672 million Instagram followers. It's similar. She changed her fucking number. Kim Kardashian changed her number. He literally put, he tweeted out a screenshot of him texting somebody, please give me Kim's number. Please give me Kim's new number. No way.

Yeah. That's dirty. That's the mother of his children. You kind of have to have a connection there. But she has seen him through all of this kind of, you know, he's had some mental breakdowns. Mm-hmm. So she might, I'd like to think

that Kim is doing what she thinks is in the best interest of the children because she does seem like a good mother. Yeah, and I'm sure Kanye is a wonderful father to him, not saying that, but maybe like she has to kind of measure out some boundaries. The interaction. Listen to this. Kanye predicted this was going to happen. Oh, like 10, 12 years ago, in his one of his songs. You ready for this? Listen to this. One day I'm going to marry a porn star. We'll have a big ass crib and a long yard.

We'll have a mansion and we'll fly some maids or some fly maids. Now, that's just three lines in a song. But one day I'm going to marry a porn star. Now, maybe because he already knew Kim Kardashian, he felt like this, you know, all right. But now listen to this one. Next song. Restraining order, can't see my daughter, her mother, brother, grandmother, hate me in that order. Public visitation, we met at borders. Told her to take me back. I'm being supportive. I made mistakes. I bumped my head. Court suck me dry. I spent that bread. She needs her

daddy. Baby, please, can't let her grow up in that ghetto university. No way. He wrote this. I mean, that almost makes me think is this like just been planned out from 15 years ago. Is this is this question? We just want to just want to unfold what was supposed to happen? Let's write a wrap right now. TCB $100 million on that Spotify make you holla. Yeah, let's definitely come up with something and we'll put it in the universe. We should have big, big, big, big, big champ.

It's a wrap song. Let's get on that, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, the whole thing. I don't know. I wouldn't put a best any of these people. I know. I really don't either. Yeah. Maybe this. I will believe anything. The part of some secret cabal that controls the world. Maybe Q is right. Maybe Kanye and Kim are just devil worshiping say the Super Bowl half time, which will now have since passed by now, but the Super Bowl half time is being hailed by some QAnon supporters as like a big

Satanist, like they're thrown off their hands and going, it's a Satan worshiping devil, you know, devil is orchestrating the halftime show. It's just a real fuck. No, I know. And I was just reading a little story about somebody's mom out in Texas that like got sucked into that. And she just continuously keeps going to Houston thinking that John.

Okay, and the junior is going to show up. How fucking wacky. Oh man, I don't know. And then when it doesn't happen, they still. They still believe. Yeah, it is. The next date and the next date. And there's this guy who's leading all of these people.

Yes, that guy. And that guy is like just taking their money and and keeps on telling him the next date, the next date, the next next date and they fucking believe it Yeah, they're literally putting this guy up in like the top of the hill and that the in the presidential suite because they believe that he knows when With cult leaders I know they just keep on moving the date. I mean listen What I want a whack job. Can you imagine if your mom got involved in that your mom your dad your brother your sister Wasn't like they were like Hey, I'm going to Houston because JFKG

Great mom just leave your checkbook Don't go spending my hair dance on some lack of doodle podcaster who thinks he knows everything I mean, I don't know maybe we should get to the queue and I think maybe we should get into the cult business on some lack of doodle podcaster who thinks he knows everything. I mean, I don't know, maybe we should get to the queue and hunting. Maybe we should get into the cult business. We should get into the cult business. I think I would be a good cult leader. I think I would be a good cult leader.

I think you would. Speaking of cult leaders, would you wear a robe? Of course I would. I would wear a pizzle. I'd wear a wail jacket. Yes, that's what I'd wear. I'd be like, kiss the pizzo. The magic of the pillow envelops me.

You know, I probably have the hood, like the head of the penis made as the hood. And so, you know, these details are important and then I have people kiss the top of the head. So, you know, these details are important and then I'd have people kiss the top of the head, but... Okay. Ah. Ah. That is awesome. Betty White was never dead!

She's coming back to save us all from Joe Biden! Kiss the head of the Pizzle! And can I run your American Express for $2,000? I want to order room service later. Did you kiss the Pizzle? Kiss the Pizzle. Kiss the Pizzle. Kiss the pee of the Pizzle.

Oh my God, speaking of cult leaders, commercial break is seeing a bit of success, might not say. By a bit of success, I mean, we not 10 additional listeners that we did when we first. Yes. We're now up to $4 a day on this facility program. I know, cheers.

Cheers. But I feel structurally, organizationally, we need, we need to put, we're not firing on all cylinders. We need to put the screw, we need to tighten the screws a little bit. Okay, okay, put a little gas in the tank. We do need to put a little gas in the tank. I feel like we're not meeting our quarterly numbers. Our projections are all over the place. I think we

projected to make $300,000 this month and we're making seven. That's YouTube included. Dollars. Yes. Under 1000. So I have, and unfortunately, because the commercial break budget is a little lean this January, you know, January is not a great month for advertisers, I thought that what I would do is I'd bring in a motivational speaker, but he can't be here live. I had him record something for us, and I'd like to just the TCB team to take a moment to listen to this motivational speaker because I think it's gonna help us drive our numbers. Okay.

Drive our projections. Get. Get in the right head space. You just get excited about the things that are coming up. I mean, look, I don't mean to knock your performance, but. It's been all sub-bots. I think that's probably an understatement, actually. It might be my eye.

Yeah. Now that you point out. I swear we need to do a whole segment on this. We'll do it. We'll do it. Yeah, I think we need to do it. First phone injury. It's a real thing.

It's a real thing. Okay, after the motivational speaker, we'll talk about Chris's eye because I was trying to avoid it So it's not to draw attention to it, but I think at this point we have to draw attention to the injury and Chrissy's eye because it might be disturbing with some viewers It might be disturbing to some listeners. I'm not sure but first. Yes. I like to Yeah, I want to get in the right headspace. Yeah, we got to get in the right headspace. Remember TCB. We're a team here TC team TCB team. There a team here. TCB team, TCB team.

There's no T in TCB team. There's no Pizzle in team. We got to get our heads right. We got to move forward into the second quarter and know that things are coming together a little bit better than they are in the first quarter. Hey, everybody. It's that time inside the commercial break when we take a commercial break and I have some exciting news for you. Chrissy and I are going to be starting a series where we play a number of games here on the podcast and we want you involved. If you're interested, leave us a message at one of two places.

Go to tcbpodcast.com, click on the contact us form and drop us an email. Or you can leave a text message or a voicemail on 661 Best 2 Yo. That's 661-237-8296. I'm not going to get into what games we're playing, but we're going to be playing a lot of them. So there's plenty of room for everybody. Also, if you'd like to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and youtube.com slash the commercial break for content you cannot get anywhere else. We put out clips on both Instagram and YouTube every single day.

And on YouTube, we have a series called In the Studio. It's filmed exclusively for YouTube, so you can only get it there. Subscribe if you like the channel. We certainly would appreciate it. People are texting us and leaving us messages, asking us how they can best get it there. Subscribe if you like the channel. We certainly would appreciate it. People are texting us and leaving us messages asking us how they can best support the show. One of two or both ways. Number one, you can leave us a review on your favorite podcast player.

We certainly would appreciate it and it helps us grow the audience of the show. Which then in turn makes our sponsors happy if you're ever in the market for any of our sponsors, products or services. If you could use the specialized URLs or discount codes that we give away on air, it gives you free shit and it tells our sponsors we're doing a good job. Monday, Wednesday and Friday is now the new schedule. If you have any comments, questions or concerns about that, go ahead and hit us up on that 6612378296 number, and I'll let you know how I feel about you letting us know how you feel. And now, a word from Sid Sponsors.

So here I get here, I've hired one of the world's most motivational human beings, Grant Cardone, to record something. Now, by say record something for us, I took it off YouTube. Okay. Fair enough. It fit the budget. That's right.

Here we go. Every business, I have five companies now. We'll do a hundred million this year. I started every one of those companies with no money. See, zero dollars, Chrissy. That's what we have. Just like the commercial break. Zero dollars.

Okay, check. Oh yeah, check. Zero dollars we have. Just like the cur marshal break. $0.00. Okay. Check. Yeah, check. $0.00, check. All right. Zero money, man. Just hustle and grip and courage and bizzle leather. I fucking, this fucking drives me crazy.

These motivational speakers talk like this. Oh, there's so many of them. Yeah. There's so many of them and I don't personally Obviously Grant Cardone is the worst. Okay. He'll do stuff this all you need is the right attitude I'd never had a dime except for the $20 million someone gave me Attitude and 600 other people to do the work for me. Yeah, by the way, you can hire Grant on what's that? Shout out service where you can get the celebrity's cameo. You can hire him on cameo. He's got a he's he's out there running these five businesses

I've called on people. I didn't want to be with I've done things. I didn't want to do, okay? It is not about doing what you love. It's about doing whatever it takes It is not about doing what you love. It's about doing whatever it takes. Oh. That's a fucking fantastic sentiment, Grant, doing whatever it takes. You think that most business people in the world, people who have their own businesses

or are trying to succeed in someone else's business, aren't doing what they think it takes. Yeah, exactly. It's a ridiculous notion. It's a broad state. Sheer will power can get you over. And this is so so and listen to these people. They're going fucking bananas. Yeah, yeah, they believe everyone. Woo!

We're gonna kill somebody! Ha ha! To make your dreams a reality, to be closed and stay closed. If you're not closed on your product, if you're not buying your own product, why would you expect anybody else to? Wait, what? Ha ha ha! If you hear commercial break ads on the commercial break, it's because we're buying our own product.

We believe in it. Kill your wife, divorce your dog, do whatever it takes. Whatever. If 400 bucks is a lot of money, your prospect sets you $400. Do it! Do it! Is he an MLM marketing?

He's in real estate, MLM. He's in all of it. All of it. He was talking about prospects. Yeah, prospects. Do it. Just tell whoever you're all in the phone with to do it. How many times have you made a saying that's quite? How many times have you made a saying that's called? Thousands.

Thousands. Now add my thousands. Right. And never has the words, it has the words do it, words on it, any but. Let's do it. Do it. 400 fucking dollars.

Give it to me. You're not going to make any money unless you spend 400 dollars with me. Listen to me, man. You're 32 years old. You've been trying to save money for 20 years in your head. Do it in 20 years. In 20 years since you were 12, you're a loser. You haven't been saved since you were 12. You're slapping in your mom's basement. You got one egg, one line. There are 32 years over the last 20 years. You're been doing that. You've been trying to save money and you haven't.

So spend your last $400 with me. Yeah. Anything special here? I'm not gonna be empathetic. It could be a stupid right to check. God. This is strong, man. What kind of motivation is this?

This is it. This is like strong arming high pressure sales tactics that he's trying to teach somebody. I can guarantee you. Grant fucking Cardone has never been on a phone call This is it. This is like strong arming high pressure sales tactics that he's trying to teach somebody. I can guarantee you. Grant fucking Cardone has never been on a phone call with anybody before he got famous telling somebody, just, just, just, just write the check.

No. This is the most ridiculous motivational advice I've ever heard in my entire life and I've heard some pretty stupid fucking people who motivates the problem is, is that everybody in their mother in 2022 is a motivational speaker. And they're all saying basically the same thing.

And now you pay them big dollars to go to their course, get all hyped up for 15 fucking minutes and absolutely fall on your face the second you walk out the door because it was never going to work for anybody but them in the first place. The reason why they're charging you $400 to walk in the door and teach this

is because they're not doing that themselves or they wouldn't be charging you $400 to walk in the door and do this in the first place. The money's not in the product, the money is in the coaching and everybody's a fucking coach in 2022. So sick of it. I am.

I can't stand it. Everybody. Everybody. True. I don't know if the compliance guy likes that or not. But I know this. Look, if you believe, I don't know if the FBI likes that or not. Warm up the plane, Bob. The compliance guy.

The compliance guy. When you have a compliance guy at your motivational seminar. Yeah, you might be in trouble. You would say that your lawyer calls and he's like, listen, you got that seminar this weekend. I'm going to send a compliance guy by making sure you don't get arrested again. Then what you're selling, how many of you believe in what you're selling? Then close the deal. Then close the deal, okay? That's not like one of our old men. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about?

Then close the deal. How many phone calls did you make? 20, make 50. 50, yeah. Close it. Close the deal. What are we doing? It's like shoot this year.

I can manifest it out of there. Yeah, forget about the person on the other side. Yeah. Yeah. You want to buy this? Well, do it! Let me think about it. No, buy the check.

No, give me the check right now. How much money do you have in your bank account? 200, I'll give it to me. You're a loser. Why wouldn't you spend the money with me? Listen, you'll never be without work. You'll never be without money. You'll have an organization that is booming in athletes.

You'll have a pipeline full. You'll have a pointer full you'll have a point and still Right I call it a group called me yesterday. I'm actually trying to do a deal with CNBC and the guys I'm interested. That's a good. I'll be there tomorrow. Call me back. I'll be I come find in New York tomorrow What am I trying to do right now? By the way, I was supposed to be here What music What music? That's like hypnotizing. This is what churches do by the way.

They play this music that's like slowly building because there's a thing that happens in your brain. You're right in your left brain kind of come together and this weird, you get more height up. Yeah, that's right. Drink the Kool-Aid. Do it! Your pipeline will be full.

There'll be bitches on your dick 24 hours a day. You'll be flying privately everywhere you go. If you just get someone to send $400, you're away. Yeah, that's it. And when you get that $400, send it to me. Yeah. You do. I'll take that.

Whatever he's saying, this $400 number, you know that's the number that he wants them to pay him. He's selling them. He's not selling you on the idea of selling someone. He's not selling you. He's not selling you on the He's selling them. He's not selling you on the idea of selling someone. I'm loving through how he named drop to CNBC. CNBC. By the way, he did a television show on CNBC the last at one episode. I mean, literally you can pay for stuff on CNBC too. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. They make it look like it's an investigative thing, but it's

not. Grant Cardone did not turn into shark tank. Look at that, okay? First of all, second of all. Mark Cuban would be like, yeah, listen, I meant Mark Cuban, he's the real deal. I'm sure he's given motivational speeches also, right? It's a circuit and people do it in the case. Yeah, but not like this. I've heard him speak before too.

He's not gonna tell you just to scream at people, do it and it's gonna happen. You're gonna have a pipeline's gonna be full. You're gonna have millions of dollars in the bank. It doesn't work like that. That's not how it works. It's some useful advice. Tell them how to get over sales objections.

Explain to people how life really is, not how magical thinking can probably get you nowhere. Life is tough, and these businesses are hard to build. Look at TCB. You think this all came to me just because I said do it? It actually did. Yeah, you did take her, so you're gonna do it. I said, you're gonna do it.

I said, okay. I said, you're gonna do episode number one. And then you're gonna do another 147 episodes. And then, and only then, will I give you $400. Uh-huh. I'll fly into New York tomorrow. I can be there tomorrow, Mr. Accombe. Okay. How does that work? I can't do the

I was gonna be here and then trying to close the deal let me close the deal oh the old I was gonna be here anyway Is the guy apparently we see a bc guy said that doesn't work? It doesn't work. Yeah, it's not but I was gonna be here anyway, and I don't like it Grant you were an asshole I'm gonna go now yeah, I'm gonna be here anyway. Grant, I don't like you. Grant, you were an asshole. I'm gonna go now, Grant. Yeah, I'm gonna go now, Grant. You can be here all you want, but you're not getting in the front door. I could look at my security.

I'd be in two places the one time later. Right? Some of you in the room are like, hey, I can see it four o'clock on Tuesday, right? The customer says to you, I'll see you at four o'clock on Tuesday. Let me look at my calendar. Like, like, you're so busy. Just blind act busy.

Yeah, I know you're a loser. You got nothing on that calendar. Don't worry about your joke. You got to pick your kid up at school. Let him rot! Leave him! Leave him! You gotta close the deal. $400. That means a full pipeline! Girls with fake boobs!

Jacuzzi's on private airplanes! Plains, airplanes! You're gonna be there anyway! Tell your kid to take a cab home from school! What are you doing? You need to close that $400 deal! Dude, that is so old. That is so old. And it's dishonest.

It's dishonest. You want to see me 2-3-4 o'clock? I give you 2-3-4 o'clock. Great job. Done. Done. Done. That got you, got everybody.

It works just that easy. it works just that easy like a snap of Chloe Kardashian's pinkers that's what any That's her hands break apart like glass Great card, oh such is just absolute Jahu of the highest order done I'll call you if something changes if there's an earthquake Between now next Tuesday Tuesday morning. There's's an earthquake between now and next Tuesday, Tuesday morning, there's a massive earthquake, and I can't be there.

You think everybody understands? I am literally going to have rent to helicopter and get to you. Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm going to reverse the spin of the Earth just like Superman did. Yes. Do it! A myth first to get the rest out later,

close the deal right now. Fill your calendar up. Your calendar's got to double. Do it. A myth first to get the rest out later, close the deal right now, fill your calendar up. Your calendar's got to devil all over it. The calendar's got the devil all over it. Yeah, the devil. The devil is extra time, says him. There's a whole part of a whole speech. Let me give you another grant cardone,

one of the ones I call on grant cardone. I didn't have time to cut it up, but grant cardone tells the story about how someone walked into his office or someone he met somebody, right? He was meeting with somebody somewhere, let's assume his office. This CNBC president?

Yeah, the CNBC president. And the guy goes, I'm gonna give you $20 million for your venture, whatever that, whatever it is, Grant Cardone is doing. Go to Grant Cardone, you know, you can find out about Grant Cardone. He says, I'm gonna give you $20 million

because I trust you. I like you. And Grant means guaranteed. When I hear Grant, it means guaranteed returns. That's what it means. And he gives me a 20, this is Grant. He gives me a $20 million check right there, right then. Right. He said, I've never had that happen.

Never had someone cut a $20 million check right then and right there. But he did. That's your bounce. Yeah. I'm doing the bake a America to get some bills, face some bills. So, he says that two days, three days, whatever it is later, a couple days later, one of the guys, one of the compliance guys, or due diligence, yeah.

Back to the convoyance. From this guy who gave him $20 million firm came, and he and Grant was like, hey, what are you doing here? And he says, well, my bot, well, I'm here to check on that $20 million. Let's just make sure, you know, it's going somewhere. And Grant says, how long are you gonna be here? And the guy says, I don't know, I'll be here for the day.

I'm gonna check out some things, you know, can I get with your team? Yeah, whatever you wanna do, get with my team members, no problem. I'm gonna take the private plane to, I'll be out here. He says, yeah, no problem. But before the end of the day, you come see me, right? Grant is saying, okay.

I got something for your boss, for your guy, right? Okay. Guy spends the afternoon there, he's doing his due diligence, his homework, whatever it is, and at the end of the day, the guy goes, okay, Grant, I'm outta here, you know, I saw what I needed to see, and I'm gonna go report back and blah blah blah. And Grant says, not before you go,

I got something for you. Hands him an envelope and says, give this to your boss. What is it? Well, you can open it if you want to. It's a $20 million check. I don't want your money if you're gonna be checking up on me left and right. It's like,

Oh no! You gotta be kidding me. What? You gotta be kidding me. You're gonna find things that I don't. You're not gonna like, you're the two-challenge. I mean, honestly, like what? What?

The Cajonets. Cajonets on this. It's true. It's probably not true. It's true. He was on like Clubhouse, like raising money for real estate deals. I mean, listen, when you're on Clubhouse, raising money for real estate deals,

you get put in the same category as NFTs. Right. Whatever the fuck. Here is my point about this whole thing. Is that be wary, in my opinion, we should be wary. We as a community should be wary of in my opinion, we should be wary, we as a community, should be wary of the soothsayers.

There are some legitimate coaches out there who can teach you great things and they're well-intentioned and they're well-meaning, right? If you wanna go learn how karate, then you should go to someone who knows karate and is willing to coach you and has the heart of a teacher in all of them. If you wanna learn how to do whatever it is,

Grand Card Show is doing. Don't spend $400 to go here this bullshit because the advice is just horrible. Just do it does not accomplish things in life. Yes, you have to do hard things in order to be successful in life and you're gonna make decisions you don't want to make and do things you don't want to do

and all that other stuff. But screaming at people just do it, just sign your $400 over to me. Is that a great way to go about doing business? Although we were never particularly successful at sales. So maybe we could check. Art technical.

We could be for yourself. Well, that's true. I had. Yeah. I was never particularly good at sales. I was good at getting other people to go sell on YVH. That's what it was. You were the motivation. Yeah, I was the motivation getting other people to go sell on YVH. That's what it was. You were the motivation.

Yeah, I was the motivation. That's true. Well, that circular argument just came you in. I'll never forget. First day at ClearChit, first week at ClearChannel, I get a phone call from the head of interactive services. Like it's this new division. Right, it's just when it was starting out.

I call I Heart Radio was the app, right? So the guy who's heading this up, whatever his name was at the time, he calls me up, he's great to have you on the team, he heard great things about you, congratulations, I hear I just getting integrated down there, listen, I'm gonna come down next week, I'm gonna come down and I'm bringing the president of the company

and we want you to give a little presentation to the whole staff on streaming and internet radio, right? And I'm like, well, that's great. I don't know the first thing about streaming and internet radio. I have no fucking clue. He says, like, you know, but if you need any help,

call this girl. Well, I called this girl. She's no help. She knows less than I do, right? So I'm like, oh shit, I'm fuck, I'm gonna do this all in my home. I spend the entire weekend, you know, making this presentation. And I never forget being so nervous because there were 200 people in that fucking conference room upstairs. And everyone was like, everyone is hating me because I represented change

that no one wanted to see. No. So no one liked me. They didn't even know what, they had no idea what anything, you know, the internet from it. And so I will never forget within the first minute of me talking and that presentation,

I start sweating absolutely perfect. Oh yeah, it happens. Yeah, I was just like dripping like big sweat stains. Right. And I'm like, yeah, it happens. Yeah, I was just like it happens. Dripping like big sweat stains. Right. And I'm like, ah, $5 for an internet spot, $2 for this, $1 for that. I mean, literally selling ads for $1. And I'm nervous about telling the sales that there.

And I can see all these old people. Right. Yeah, well, we've seen you, kid. You're like a consultant. You come, you go. We're not worried about you, you'll be gone today. You're just like the typewriter. You're just like the typewriter. It came and it went.

It's like, I was so, but somebody came to me afterwards. One of these older people, people. The old guard? Yeah, the old guard came to me afterwards, one of these older people. The old guard? Yeah, the old guard came to me afterwards. And he was like, I just wanna let you know, it was an incredibly motivating speech you gave and I'm really revved up to sell this, and on that shit. And I was like, oh, thanks man.

He's like, seriously, you did a really good job. I think everybody really felt it in the air. It was good, it was like, you know, palpable. And I was like, you are so fucking foolish. Because all I did up there was sweat stammer and stutter But thanks man Teachers pet. It's always one in the group. Oh, yeah, for sure Of meanwhile the guy who initially invited me to give this conversation the president of the whatever the interactive

Servatives services there took us out to dinner that night. Not a fucking word, not one word about the present. I didn't say anything. Not one word. You know, I didn't say anything because it wasn't good. He didn't know how to let me down easy. He was like, who do we just hire? Does it look like we've hired this guy? Tell you what, let's put him in charge of four radio stations

to see how he does that. Which is what they did. Okay, so now we have to address it. Let's get to it. Chrissy, what happened to your eye? Yes, so I had an injury a few days ago and it's just, it's not getting any better. And it was a freak injury, which made me realize as I told other people about this injury, everybody else has a story too.

Everybody said that. Everybody said that. Not the specific one, but about a phone injury some way. So I was in bed Saturday morning, reached over to the nightstand and I get my phone and I have it above my head. You know, I'm lying down. So it's above my face and I dropped it. I lost the grip. It slipped out of my hand and the corner felt directly into my eye. And it hurt. Like into your open eye or into your closed eye or do you remember? I just know out of my hand and the corner felt directly into my eye. It hurt.

Like into your open eye or into your closed eye? I don't remember. I just know it just hit my eye and the corner, which was really heavy, unhurt. And that was about two pounds or something. I was like, I'm going to have a black eye. I need to get some ice on it. Put some ice on it. It seemed to be okay for the rest of the day.

Sunday, swollen, bloodshot, which has never gone back down. So if anybody out there is watching the YouTube. Yeah, I mean, I think it's, yeah. If you're looking directly at it, then you can definitely notice that it's red and a little bit swollen. I think you've done a good job with the makeup because there's no black and blue about it. Well, it's really not bruised. No, but your eye is like totally bloodshed.

Very much. And we're going to like four days, right? Four or five days. So I told my sister about it. She said the same thing happened to her, but with her lip. And the next day she had a full-blown fat lip. Yeah, it happened on my cheek and I got a big black eye. Yeah, this is not a good uncommon. I know it. So if you've had any phone, phone injuries, you need a blue pillow. I do. You need a blue pillow. Everybody needs a blue pillow. So you can hold something else, can hold your phone while you're reading your shit. Because I mean, it's just those phones are dangerous. My birthday's coming out. So you want a blue pillow? I hope it's not anything serious.

I don't think it is. Two, it's your eye So, you know, you're kind of protective of it. But you can see, you can see just fine. I can see, it's just, it's a little, you know, sore and very bloodshot. It's heavy. Is it glassy? Does it keep watering? Yeah, it does keep watering.

Yeah. I wonder, I wonder what's going on. I know, I'll let you know. You've got, go into the doctor tomorrow. You're, you've got like, Chloe Kardashian hands, you've got Chloe Kardashian eyes, your hand those hands and your eyes together would make a scary, scary team. Well, I really hope that you feel better.

Thank you. Yeah, I hope it's nothing serious. I don't want to have to call you one-eyed hodel. I know. Well, I said, if you see me wearing sunglasses too, you know who knows what they're going to do to fix this. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know I know they're gonna do anything

I think I'm leaving for history. I know that's sox dude It's okay, everyone's eyes are bloodshot down there Spread there done that follow Roman cocaine don't worry All right DCB podcast commas where you go find out more about Chrissy and I read all the show notes Listen all the audio watch all the show notes. Listen to all the audio, watch all the video, if you would, youtube.com slash the commercial break.

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you can't find anywhere else. At the commercial break, if you're so kind, no one ever goes to that fucking Instagram. I don't know what's going on there, but... I don't know, so many people listen, and then it's just like, it's so hard to get them to get on Instagram. Yeah, yeah.

And I watch all these other podcasts, and they have hundreds of thousands of... But they've been doing it for a lot longer than we have so maybe that's just it or maybe people you know They just like to listen to the show and they don't care about her It's true. That's true. Maybe that's it. That's true. I don't go to a lot of other podcasts that I listen to to their Instagram quite frankly There's a couple that I like there's a couple of podcasts that I like and they put together like bite-sized clips that I think are funny So I watch it. Yeah, Maybe that's what we should do. It's just making a clip factory.

Just keep on pushing out clips on reels or stories or whatever. You let us know. I'll talk to the higher ups on the media division of the commercial break. Who's stop-o-ho? You may have noticed that there's now three shows a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That's a conscious choice. We made it. And so now you're gonna get it. Threat!

More! Now you're gonna get it. Just do it. I can hear the unfollows right now. I don't want any more notifications from these motherfuckers! Do it! That's a conscious choice and we appreciate it. It's here in the market for any of our products or services. Please do us a favor.

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It lets them know that we're doing our job so for them, so we can keep on doing our job for you, which is giving you content like this. Content you can't find anywhere else. For free. It's the commercial break, another episode in the can. Chrissy, I say I love you. I love you, Ryan.

Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say we do say we must say bye! Bye! I'm so happy to see you again I'm so happy to see you again I'm so happy to see you again

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