The Commercial Break - Boner Spiders & Shower Sliders

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

If there's a Boner Spider on the loose, always suspect the Meat Guy! Bryan & Krissy take us on a winding road from boner spiders, to shower poos, to modern love (if we can call it that). Send us dive bar recommendations Who’s putting drugs in their penis? Pooping in the shower The Australian Boner Spider Nico vs the rat Would you want to have intercourse for 7 hours straight? Waffle House Current dating show, The Cut Immediately going for the lips Get him, girl! This guy eats bear He’s got the trigger finger  Ah…an insecure short man Girls talking shit...relatable queens The disembodied voice is savage This guy thinks he’s something LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dress like a slut today. Not tomorrow. We not even promised tomorrow. You don't even know if you're gonna have this body tomorrow. You might be a little bloated. Put the mini skirt, see through crop top with the pasteies, stripper heels, on bitch. I don't give a fuck if you want a church to the grocery store. You will never get a chance to look this young, this youthful, this sexy again.

It's beautiful, it's sexy, again. On this episode of the commercial break. Dale, you know that's coming across the bonerspiner, did ya? Barb'spiner. What did you say? Dale's walking through the store with, he's like the neat guy and he's got a... This is huge tent going on underneath his frock. Hey, Dale, did you see the boner spider? He's just seen one of the spiders legs out of his mouth. Nope, then he's in the boner spider.

But I got a heart on for the first time in years. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The heart wants what the heart wants. Oh, yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back episode of the commercial break starts now. The Heart Bones with the Heart Bones! Oh, yeah, Captain kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and director of craft services. Chris, enjoy your whole day best of you, Chris. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there on the podcast universe.

You know, last episode we were talking about doing a tour of dive bars. Yes. And I forgot to mention that, you know, this is a far-flung idea. And I don't know that it'll ever really happen. I don't want to make any promises. It's in the notebook. That's fun. So it's probably not ever going to happen.

That. If you're interested and you think you have a dive bar that we might be interested in putting on our big production, it's a multi- multi, multi dollar experience. We have literally put days and days of procrastination into this multi dollar. We've put mediocre work into this multi dollar production. It's the best we can do.

Yes, the best we can do is rent a fog machine and get Brian some spring eyed glasses. But if you have a dive bar, you think we might be interested in actually coming and sitting and having a chat with and send us a little note at tcbpodcast.com. I, did you read about the Australian, was it the else written, no, the Belgium

or something, the grocery store they got shut down because they found a boner spider? No, did you read this a boner spider? Is that what they call you? Yeah, they Your brother, they called me a bonapus He's like an octopus with a boner Yes, I'm officially called boners, but now I'm called a half-hard spider Now I'm called a half-hard spider. Now I'm called in large prostate spider. E.P.

I got a, yeah, E.P. the E.P. spider. I got a physical today. And you know, they go through all the things and they talk about all the things. You know, when I was 20, I didn't, physical. What's that? I didn't get a physical until well, well past 21 years old. But when I did, you know, they start taking blood and stuff like that. It doesn't bother me, not one bit, but I do not have good surface veins.

So every time that someone goes in for blood with me, nine times out of 10, I end up getting it at my hand because they cannot find a vein in my arms. They'd be terrible, intravenous drug addict. I tried, it just didn't work out for me. Didn't take it. So in one time, they were going in for my neck and a very experienced phlebotomist actually started her shift, a couple minutes, they were getting it ready,

they were prepping my neck and a phlebotomist that had been doing this for like 30 years, just started her shift and they called her in for one last try, at one last stab, no pun intended, pun intended, and she managed to get it through my hand, but they were gonna go in through my fucking neck and I was a little nervous about that one.

Yeah, got it. Yeah. This, I don't know, there's a vein in your neck. I mean, drug addicts do it all the time. They put it in their neck inside of their thigh, some have done it in their penis. I think I'm just making that up, but sounds like an interesting story to tell.

It's on the internet, it's true! It's true! That's everything, it's true on the internet. So, they just, like, but this lady, for the first time in years, this lady went straight in, this lady was a badass phlegautomist. She just went straight in, this lady was a badass flavortimist. She just went straight in, she found the vein and the blood was like shooting out into

the vile, like literally like shh shh shh shh. Flowing of my cup over flow with with a lot of blood. So, which was great, but they took so much blood this time when I got home, I jumped in the shower and I- You were lightheaded. Chrissy, for the first time I can ever remember sober. I started getting the little spots in my eyes, right? And I was wobbly, I thought I was going down. I had to literally sit down in the shower. And so- Did you pee while you were there?

I did, I peed and then I pooped. We had Christina and Tina were over here last night and she was, someone said, I think Christina said, have you heard about this? They're like, there are people that poop in the shower, they call it a great, like a greater or something, a cheese greater. And I was like, what are you talking about?

Because Chrissy and I had done an episode where we reported that they did a study where 30, 30, 30% of people pulled, said they had pooped in a shower. Yeah, I don't get that. I don't even know that I could do that. T fine, poop, no. I think about, I think about traveling. Well, you're standing up too. No, no, no, no.

I guess if you sat down, but why? Why would you, where are you going to sit down? There's a toilet right there. There's always a toilet next to, or in the vicinity of a shower. 99% of the time. Well, what do you, what would you be,

what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be,

what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you be, what would you I was hoping you were gonna ask a question because I had the perfect comeback. I was like preparing that joke in my head somehow.

I was trying to work out where I was gonna go. But there was poop in that shower also. Trust me, yes. Because everyone was shitting right outside. Oh, toilet, that's the thing. So 30% of people, 30% of you fuckers are shitting in the shower. Why are you thinking?

What are you doing to yourself? I wonder if someone would actually write us and admit that they've done this. Tell us exactly how that gets done even the shower, why are you thinking? What are you doing to yourself? I wonder if someone would actually write us an admit that they've done this and tell us exactly how that gets done in the shower because I'm just wondering, like how does it get down the drain? I feel like push it. She's greater. That's what Christina was saying. She just learned about this mean cheese greater

or whatever it's called. Here's the question too that I, like, okay, let's assume for a second that you can actually make a duty while standing and trying to get yourself clean. Yeah. I'm gonna mess up the whole concept of why you're in there to me.

Listen, going for a shower. Shout out to the steam. Oh my God. That gives me word to a steaming. Shower, steaming. Oh my God. That gives me word to a steaming bottle of shit. New meaning. You're a sea, don't even. I can understand like going from a poop in two-a-shower. Yes, I'll.

After you've wiped yourself for a little extra cleaning. That is absolutely, fuck yeah. Yes. That's a good thing, in my opinion. Yeah. We should all just shower directly after we poop all the time, every time. That's the whole concept of a bidet, right? That's it. Yeah. Everybody should all just shower directly after we poop all the time, every time. That's the whole concept of a bidet, right? That's it. Yeah. But let's just

assume for a second that you have the physical ability to do this. All right, let's assume for one second you have a physical ability to do this. I don't understand exactly where you get in the mindset to allow that to happen. No. Because if I think about getting on an airplane, my stomach ceases up for five days. I get travel tummy. If I think about getting on an airplane, I get scared about pooping outside of my own house. How would you do that inside of a shower?

How would you let your mind go there? Like just let it go. I can understand that only under the emergency use of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations.

Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. Of emergency situations. We're just saying, we're talking, just liquid. Like you have bubblegut and it's been brewing for 10 hours and you just gotta double Americano at Starbucks, right? Yes, you're bad sick. Like Brian was so manila. I had so manila and I didn't shit in the shower. And trust me, those a couple times, when even though that shower was just a foot and a half closer than the toilet, I probably could have made it

into the shower and I just didn't. I, you people are gross. So what was I fucking talking about? I don't know, oh, bonerspiter. Hey, go from bonerspiter. I don't know, bro. Maybe that guy was right on that Apple review. Yeah, he was just a bunch of yammering assholes.

So bonerspiter is the, I think it's the Australian spitting spider or something I'm not sure what it's called. I have the actual article here. You want to hear about it? You should pull that up because earlier you said something about the Dutch. Oh, yeah. Different from Australia. That's true. It is.

Okay, bonerspiter. Here it is. I actually put the note under boner someone checks my phone. Okay, super market, supermarket evacuated after spider whose bite can cause painful erections or death is spotted. A supermarket in Austria was evacuated after a spider which is definitely not the same thing as Australia. Yeah, you were wrong, I'm fine. I just figured Australia has all the things that can fuck you up, right? That does sound like that.

You know, it's like the coolest place in the fucking world, I guess I've heard. So, the people who have been there, I have a friend that now lives there, and they just fucking love it. Yeah. But everywhere you turn, you get killed. Did you hear about the Australian lady who served up her entire family? A soup that had the world's most deadly mushroom in it. Did you hear that?

Oh no. But she just conveniently made a different meal for her and her kids, but her into all of her in-laws. Oh wow. And she's like, it's just a terrible mistake. I'm sure. A supermarket in Austria was evacuated after a spider whose bite is capable of causing painful erections and even death was spotted.

A penny shop in Crenz on Davu, a town located 45 minutes from Vienna has remained closed since Tuesday after the four inch spider. Four inch spider, geez, that's big. That's big, that's like, this is size of my penis. The boner spider is the exact size of my boner After Spider was said to have been seen when staff opened a box of bananas. It's always a fucking banana Yeah, they always get you

Transulas spiders snakes Small children. Yeah, they all come in through the bananas. Snakes. Yeah, snakes. Because you know, Venezuela, I'm not Venezuela, Costa Rica, Panam, all those places they have bananas, they also have snakes. So sometimes the snakes end up in there too. Description of the spiders coloring and size, led people to believe that they were dealing with a Brazilian wandering spider,

also known as a banana spider. That is highly venomous arachnids, tend to hide in banana plants and are sometimes found in shipments of fruit. By the time the fire brigade arrived at the store, wow, that's a formal name, the spider was nowhere to be seen in a statement, the retail group, which operates the penny stores said comprehensive cleaning and disinfecting was underway before the outlet would reportedly open next week. Doesn't they had it and then they didn't have it?

Yeah, they had it and then they didn't have it. Someone yelled boner spider in a crowded and a crowded theater. Boner spider! Lost it. Oh great. It was here. Yeah, it was here. I think Dale, you didn't happen to come across the boners, Spider-Dale. Yeah, large spider.

Well, then just save. Dale's walking through the store with, he's like the meat guy and he's got, just this huge tent going on underneath his frock. Hey, Dale, did you see the boners, Spider? He's just seen one of the spiders' legs out of his mouth. Nope, didn't see the boners, Spider. But I got to hard on for the spiders legs out of his mouth. Nope, didn't see the boners fighter. But I got to heart out for the first time in years. Yeah, the boners spiders, what they make, like, Viagra stuff out of them.

Yeah, they actually, so each... So they have those messages that you know, can cause pain flow. Can cause pain flow. I told you, I sense we literally, through someone out of a car, at a hospital ER on because they had a bon in the last six hours. In 2007, in a 2007 interview, a researcher told live science that the erection is a side

effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the painful discomfort that comes with that. We're hoping eventually this will lead to a development of real drugs for the treatment of erectile dysfunction. In 2019, scientists at the Federal University of Mins, Jerez said that the chemicals in its bite could lead to a treatment way more effective than Viagra after they included them in a gel,

which led to prolonged erections in a study of mice and rats. They found that gel led to the swelling of the rat penis lasting 60 minutes or more when applied to the genitalia. Oh, my God, somebody's job is to measure a rat penis lasting 60 minutes or more when applied to the genitalia. Oh, my God, somebody's job is to measure a rat penis. Oh, yeah, they do a lot of stuff with those rats.

I mean, that's poor mice. And they're so, they're so cute too. This is, this is, like the one that was torturing Nico. The one that was torturing Nico? Torturing Nico? Nico decided to hide. For those of you who knew the show,

I had a dog named Nico passed away last year, or earlier this year. We had to put him down, because he was old, and we had to separate my two dogs at one point, Nico slept in the kitchen by himself, because he was getting older, and he didn't like to be irritated or stepped on, or even the thought that he'd be stepped on.

Yeah, mess with at all. So he liked to sleep and buy himself, put him in the kitchen, and then one day my wife wakes up and she finds a banana unbelievably speaking of bananas. She finds a banana on the floor and it's kind of weird, but there's these little marks in the banana, but we didn't think much of it. We thought maybe somehow the banana, the one of the kids ended up playing with the kids. Yeah, playing on the kids.

Yeah. Kids did it. I play my kids all, now for everything. Why do you smell like a horn? Kids did it. Mia sprayed it on me. What's all that lipstick on your dick? Well, in this case, I can't blame it on the children.

That'd be problematic. It was Nico. I didn't blame it on Nico. So after a couple of days, we would find more and more fruit items that were being disturbed, and then it was clear that they were chewing. Someone was chewing on the fruit also. So now, as for of scared shitless, I'm not exactly Mr. Brave myself.

I'm like, I don't want to, I thought of my, raccoon or I don't know squirrel or something. So we put a camera in the kitchen, but I thought to myself clearly there's not an animal in the kitchen because the Nico would attack it or at least bark like he's not that dumb. What we found on the camera footage was disturbing. I went to tale of the tape. We go the next morning after we put that camera in there and I'm telling you why I saw was just beyond anything that David Attenborough

could have imagined in any of his wildlife programs. What I found was a rat that basically went up to Nico and was like, listen here, little dummy. You're not going to say a fucking word. I'm going to eat this fruit and you don't get tortured. You hear me? Now go back to sleep. And Nico went back to sleep. The rat walked

from under the under the refrigerator. He came out. He stood up under the little hind legs. He looked around. He saw Nico. He scurried over toward Nico. He's about a foot and a half away from Nico. Nico's lifted his head out of the bed. The rat gets out of time legs. They have a conversation of some sort. And then Nico puts his head back down on the pillow. And the rat goes and eats the fruit. It was actually a mouse, not a rat, but it was unbelievable.

I showed it to the exterminator and he was like, never seen anything like it. It's always something with these creatures. And I was like, which creatures? The mice are the dogs. That's your eyes. Yeah. Anyway, this bonerspiter is a time is, is an idea whose time has come as far as I'm concerned.

Wow. Yeah, listen, people need help with boners. And I don't know because I personally have not used Viagra, but what I do know is that people who I have reported using it, they get like really bad headaches or sometimes they get their heart race. And it has something to do with the nitrogen level and your blood, the nitrogen content

and your blood or something like that. But it can cause really bad headaches. And in some cases, heart popitations and all that stuff. Doesn't sound like a great combination. If you're too old to get it up and then your heart is fluttered or your heart is racing. But it's not, sometimes it can not be a pleasant experience.

But if you could just rub a little gel on your dick and then you know, if you could rub a little gel on your dick, and then, you know, if you could rub a little gel on your dick. One by three thousand! That's what it's all about. One by three thousand contains boomer spider gel. Make kill you, you make us death, you may have bananas growing out of your ears,

but one by three thousand works for 60 or more minutes. Who makes love for 60 or more minutes at a time? Some guy, so guy I know. Oh yeah, we fuck for like seven hours. Oh yeah, that's good man. Yeah, but like how long are you guys actually? No, seven hours. Seven hours?

Yeah. Seven hours. Yeah, seven hours. We went for seven hours. I mean, not the whole time. You know, like we did, like, it's a break. Yeah, I ate around a few times.

I should give you some head, but you know, seven hours basically, fucking and I'm like, dude, you are so fucking full of shit. No one has sex for seven straight hours, except for sting. That's widely reported. And I know it for a fact

because sting and I have made love. He can go for seven hours, but he uses the old tanch of breathing technique. Pfff. Pfff. Pfff. This guy is like a, you know, a middledling middleager

and he's claiming to have sex for seven hours. Does not make any sense, doesn't add up to me. Do you know what I'm saying? But if there's any chance of us ever having sex for seven hours, you wouldn't wanna have sex for seven hours straight, would you? No, I'm talking about like intercourse for seven hours straight.

Oh yeah, yeah, you would definitely. I'm not talking about like a long passionate night of love. Right. Right where you have sex for three to five minutes. That's where I play some shot, eh? You roll, you play some shot, eh? Roll over and disappointment. And then a couple hours later, he comes back to you and says,

Hey, babe, let's do it again. And you say, all right, well, I guess. And then this time you last like seven to ten minutes, because you know, he's getting a little bit looser, right? And then by our number six, he's going for 20, 40 minutes at a time, right? And then finally, you're getting somewhere. And then inevitably, loses his boner. Not anymore.

Not with- Right, right, three thousand with bonus fighter gel. Oh, there's fighter gel. Boerner not anymore not with not what right three thousand with bonus spider gel Oh I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I You can bite it in a gas station.

What do you think is the longest amount of time you've made actual love? Just a guess. I think like an hour. I think like an hour is like the most amount of time that I would have ever actually been involved in the actual love making process. Love making, missionary style. Don't go too crazy. Be a side to that.

But I think like an hour is like max that I've ever gone. And it's just, eventually just causes this discomfort for everybody. You can only go for so long before. I mean, are you talking intercourse, are you talking like an evening of passion I love making, like we just talked about?

But I want you to know the difference, right? I'm talking about like one session. Now I know you know the difference, but I don't want you to think like it's all combined. I, what was described to me as seven hour love making was actual like a session, right? A total session, like, you know, going down, having fun, you know, the whole nine yards,

but then there's the inner course part, usually, right? Male female, inner course part. I think that from beginning to end, the inner course part, I think, you know, 40 minutes to an hour is about as long as I've ever gone. Yeah, there's gonna be some ins and outs. Yeah, and we start dancing, wine. And what I am including in that for my own self

is putting on the music, taking a shower, smoking a cigarette, stopping for Bud lights. It's the tantra away. You know, you get yourself hooked up and do it tizzy. You hold yourself, you pull out, you drink a couple of Bud lights, do another line, smoke a cigarette, get back in there for a few minutes.

It's like when the, you know, it's basically, it's basically boxing basically boxing. It's like, uh, three and a half minutes of people yelling and screaming at you and you're trying to recover from what just happened. And then two and a half minutes of actually pounding away. It's been going on since Roman times. It has been going on since Roman times. Those orgies were less for days by the way. But I imagine they swap it and out and stuff like that. Yeah. The longest amount of time that I've ever had, like a actual romantic experience, we're

talking all of it together, right? The stopping, the starting, long night of lovemaking was like eight hours, but the eight hour session included me leaving the house and going to get beer for the two girls who were still in the bed making love. And that took me about six of those eight hours. I think I have a food too, right? I did. I think I got breakfast at Waffle House.

And then I came back in the door, it was locked. Waffle House, let me see you, Brian. Waffle House. Waffle House, we see your limp dick. Waffle House, did you bring pictures? Waffle House, that just look at your phone. Do you think we're cut a card? Yeah, we got it. Waffle House, we've got your credit card.

Waffle House, your friend left their shoe, and your girlfriend left her underwear. Waffle House, we get it, you're drunk. Waffle House, don't even think about playing Johnny Cash again. Waffle House, we don't care that you got dumped tonight. Waffle House, you need to be so loud. Get old. Oh, good old. We love us in my voice.

Speaking of love making. Last episode, we were reviewing a, you know, we talked a lot about the old dating shows here. We've reviewed a lot of them, the ones from the 2000s, 90s, in some cases, 80s. There's a new fangled one. There's a new fangled one. They always get reinvented some way, some shape, some how. And I am really enjoying this one actually. It's called the Cut. It's a terrible social experiment. It's basically speed dating on YouTube. And it's a bunch of young people. I would say, well,

we just saw a 29 year old. So well, except for the 60s. Yeah, except for the 42 year old man that walked in the door. Yeah, he did look very old. Not very old, he looked older. There's worth a suit and not a mustache, so that. By the way, we are absolutely doing an episode of why people in the 80s look so old when they were so young. Yeah, as we've got to. It's unbelievable. It's like an action, what's your like, what?

It's crazy, they're like 21? Yeah, no, they have full gray hair, balding, they're using a cane, they're walking in on a wheelchair with a wheelchair, and they're like, um, 19. And you're like, what? So the cut is a speed dating. It's basically speed dating. You have an opportunity to slam the button in front of you when the button turns red and only when the button turns red. And the first one to do that, then the other person has to leave. Yeah, you get kicked out. You get kicked out.

Somebody else knew who comes in and that's how the game works. So I would like to, let's finish this video that we were doing. Yeah, I just want to see if anybody actually likes each other and gets together. No, they don't because everyone's so fucking judgmental they're asking to stupidest questions. What tattoos do you have? You know, what books do you like?

Oh, I don't like breathing. Yeah, I mean, literate. It's, you know, I'm a journalist who can't write a read. I mean, it's so judgmental that how would you ever, I know, how would you ever, if you don't give people a chance, and if you're not kind enough authentic right off the bat. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's kind of like tender or one of the sites that you would use, but televised. Yeah. Like swiping. They're swiping. That's a good way to put it.

Yeah. All right, let's get back into it. Here's the cut from YouTube, the dating speed dating show. Hey, yeah, excuse me. I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. I'm just kidding. It's me, Christina, producer for the commercial break. And I just wanted to interrupt for a quick sec

to remind you that tcbpodcast.com is the place to go to find all of our audio and video. And of course, to beg you to go to Apple and leave us a positive review. Positive. And if you go to tcbpodcast.com, you can get a free What Would Frankie Doe sticker. Just go to the website, click contact us, tell us you want to sticker and give us your physical address, and we're in business, baby. You can also text us at 855-TCB-8383.

That's 855-TCB-8383, and give us your questions, comments, concerns, and content ideas, please. Add us on Instagram, at the Commercial Break, and on TikTok, at TCB Podcast. Brian's really trying to keep up with the youths, so give us a follow, you know you wanna. If you're into videos, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break and see fully edited episodes the same day they air over here. As always, please support our sponsors by going to

their websites and buying their products. And don't forget to use our specialized URLs, because that's how we keep things moving here at TCB. So let's listen to those sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. Well, without further ado, I was trolling on the internet. As you do. As I do, what people like,

why do you see that every time, Brian? I say it every time, and here's why I say it. It is a marker in the show where we usually take a break. You probably already recognize that, but now I'm sharing a little inside baseball with you. Here we go. A scene, I would say. I've dated a lot.

In the middle of it. Oh, we're catching up with two people who have already been introduced on the show, so they're already sitting down. There are a couple seconds into their date. 3, I'm sorry. 25. 25, I'm over.

Yeah. How do you feel about younger guys? Yeah, I'm along powerful sweat, but I'm just for like probably not the same vibe to be honest. Oh, he's present killed. Yeah. Well, you know, what I can understand. She's already, she's already this miss of him. She's like, oh, yeah, you're young. We're in a different vibe. Yeah. When I was in my early 20s, there were a number of older women that I dated, but generally, generally, older women did not, they frowned

upon generally, generally. I had to emphasize generally because there were a few that but whatever you're about to say next I don't even know Yes Because I mainly dated older women, but I'm generally older women didn't like younger guys because the you know They think they find them immature at all that other stuff. Yeah Yeah, to be honest. I'm just not a big fan of like the big lips He's calling out the big lips. Well, you got to call like you see it on this one I mean her lips enter the door 30 seconds before she does that's a maze balls. How much so the hell so I've been training Yes, she is and she's so young

29 to be stuffing your lips like that. I Mean totally No, they're absolutely not are you natural in other places as well? None of your fucking business. Oh, she says dude. She's got a huge, she's got a huge boobs. They're obviously fake, but you know, dude, you don't ask that right off the bat.

You just don't. Well, it wasn't the him, it was the voice, the button. No, he asked if the lips were natural, and then he said, I gotta ask about other places. Are they natural in two? Yeah. Yeah, I don't even need that there. Okay, okay.

Cheers. Oh my God, what's your hobbies? Very outdoorsy. I hunt and fish a lot. I'm very outdoorsy. I watch a lot of nature channel and I golf at the country club, but. I get drunk on bad news.

I get drunk on bad news. I'm one with nature. I like to ring shop when I'm in out in nature. What things do you hunt? Most recently I was in Idaho when I hunted spring black bear. Bears? Black bears, yeah. A lot of people don't think that like you can or you

or you should, but yeah. A lot of people think you can or you should. Don't think you can. No, you shouldn't go into little black bears. It's pretty normal across the Western states. But I use all the meat and eat everything. It's really good. Well part of the bear is easier.

What? Who eats bear? I mean, I guess they used to have to. I had horse testicles once, according to myself on the internet one time, but it wasn't horse It was full test Yeah, I wouldn't eat bear. There's no way. Maybe I could use that like the rug like the skin is a rug But I wouldn't kill the bear to do that. No, if it was dead then I mean if it was the only thing around Yeah, you had to eat it then you would do it. Yes, but I'm not a native American. It's not

1802. There's plenty of commercialized food. Or a Oregon trail. Yeah, we're not in the Oregon trail. Every part, every. I hear deal breakers. Oh, she was right ahead. She was close.

She was close. She doesn't like the fact he hunted bears. Okay, hunting is a big one. Just a not a fan of it. Not a fan of it. My dad hunts birds. Look how close she's keeping her hand to that buzzer. Like that's part of the game.

Yeah, you're right. This is part of the game. But do you eat meat? Honestly, I do. But I don't know. I'm from Texas and it's like everyone hunts in. Like there's just something about hunting there that I'm just like. You don't like?

Yeah. Well, for me, he's keeping his hands up so he can hit the button. Oh, there's a little strategy game going on between these two. They're talking with their hands, which you may not, which you don't see, is that there's a button in the middle of the table. And the first one to press it once the light turns red,

then the other person has to go. So there's like this little jockeying that goes on with their hand. Yeah, they're talking with their hands and trying to make it seem like it's natural that they're not gonna hit the button, but what they're really waiting for is that red light. Emility.

So, meat eating, when you're doing factory farms and stuff, super bad for the environment, super unethical to animals. And so if you're hunting a wild animal that's lived its whole life in the wild, if she's literally twirling her hand around the button. She's twirling her finger around the button. Yeah.

I mean, like, it gave her musical chairs and you're just going around one chair. If I was on the show, I didn't like to somebody. I just sit on it. I just sit on the button. It's present anyways. Take one animal out. It's not like you're like, that's the most,

like ethical way you could eat meat in my opinion. That's why I started hunting. Yeah, and I know there is a difference. Like, totally people who like live off the land and then they only hunt off the land. You're really good, Barb. Oh, okay. Whoa!

He got her again. He did get her. She was waiting. I know, it's all that trigger finger. He's got that trigger finger reflex. I gotta stay quick with it. It was nice to meet you. No, you're gonna funny, but like,

why? I'm leaving my chance. Um, I just knew she was gonna hit it on, come on, I'm even my chance. I just knew she was gonna hit it on me and honestly you seem really tall too. I'm like, I'm a pleasure, like I'm not. Oh my God. Here's to you guys.

It's just every little thing that can be epic. Well, you're never gonna, I mean, you gotta, I don't even know what to say anymore. Give it a chance, let it breathe for a second. You don't have to be so, I mean, it gotta, I don't even know what to say anymore. Give it a chance, let it breathe for a second. You don't have to be so, I mean, it's speed dating. It's not the point to let it breathe. Well, I mean, and this is the thing, like when you see pictures of people,

and it's not auto-tuned, but there's auto-tuned. There's auto-tuned, but you know, phase tune and edited, and whatever, and you're not able to, you're seeing like this perfect version of somebody. Yeah, and like, I don't, I'm not a hunter either, and I wouldn't like somebody going out and killing baby bears or bears or whatever he said,

black bears, whatever he's hunting. Yeah. That's not my favorite activity, but that doesn't disqualify him as a human being. Like, they're good. Or her being, but that doesn't disqualify him as a human being. Like, they're- They're being tall. That's a disqualify or. That's right.

But that's the only two things those two learned about each other, Keahons and she's tall. They didn't even give each other a chance. Short. I'm literally five nine. Really? Yeah, I'm having heels. Yes.

Okay, that's probably what it is. Come on. Anyway, it goes nice to meet you. They're hooking up after this stone. I liked your dress. I'm a big fan of sunglasses. Oh, thank you. It's actually a two-piece. See, he went in right. He said he found something he liked about her. Yeah, he found something positive right off the bat. Will has gotten a lot of women pregnant. Jesus Christ. What did you find that information? Disembodied voice. Well, throw that bridge. Well, it's dripping with syphilis.

Speak amongst yourselves. Oh, really? How many? Something over 50? I'm a sperm donor. So, see, make bank then? I did in college. Now, I'm out of college. I'm done sperm donor, so. So you make bank then? I did in college. Oh, okay. Now I'm out of college, I'm done with that. Well, did max out them. They cut them off. Yeah, they cut me off. Yeah, I was gonna say they do cut them off.

They do sell us full, I'll see you sell us full. Do you want kids? Um, I think so. It just depends whether or not I feel like ethical, bringing more people in the world by the time I want kids. Oh. They almost didn't hit it. They almost didn't hit it. They almost didn't hit it.

They thought about it for a second and then they both hit it at the exact same time. So it's gonna be the tale of the tape. Isn't it weird to have like to be like a sperm donor or a serrogate or something like that? I always thought that would be a weird thing to do. And I actually thought about donating sperm. Unfortunately, drugs, unintelligence, and ugliness

disqualified me. But. You like it. Now that you have this little, you know, Generally, drugs, unintelligence, and ugliness, disqualified me, but. You like- You know, you know, add to in my college paper for like, embryos. Yeah. Oh yeah. Don't think it'd get like 10,000 embryos

in the embryos. Yeah, I think it first sperm, it's like $5.5 or whatever. Or eggs, eggs, the embryo, I think that's what it's already done. Yeah. But anyways, yeah, you know, there's been shows. I know it too. I've seen that, yeah, where the father goes back and there's that one guy who fathered over 150.

And he stays in contact with every one of them. That was a Netflix show, I think. That's incredible. That guy did a right. He was like a male model in LA. He's a male model. 80s. He jizzed all over the place.

Yeah, and he has father has father like over a hundred I think it was like a hundred and fifteen or fifty and then he had Agreements with everyone of the mothers or most of the mothers I think it was every one of them that they were allowed to contact him one and they decided to and almost every one of them Did contact him and he's in communication with them still to this day. Yeah, that's the kind of fathering I like to do the kind where you just have to write a note every once in a while. You don't have to actually deal with the upbringing. No, no, no, no, later in life when I come to find you. Trust me. The best way to have children is to have them and not own them. Yes, adult children. Yeah, have them and not own them. Yes, adult children.

When you're 18, call me. Oh, f**k. I don't know who's first. We'll get first, but by hair. I just wasn't vibing. Not the vibe. Was it his 50 kids? You know, that could be part of it.

Contributing to overpopulation. but you know, it's a kind of transfer. It was really nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Yeah, have a good one. Well, at least Will's polite. Yeah, except when he said Are your tits fake and you're only five? You're only five nine. I was pumped on her and I was like 50 kids out there somewhere. I'm like, overpopulation. Now they're cutting away to the green room where all the girls are and now she's talking shit about the guy who has 50 kids out there in the world. How's it going? What's your name?

I'm Aida. Wait, she just said he has like 50 kids overpopulation much. Uh-huh. Come on. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. Name the most unattractive feature about the person sitting across meet you. Nice to meet you too. Name the most unattractive feature about the person sitting across from you.

Oh, damn. Oh, okay. I just don't like that. I know. It's like fuck that. Hold. There's the sash. You don't like the sash.

I don't. It's literally hanging over your lips so that it's so, I'm a good kisser. So like it makes up for it. I mean, I like your hair, but I feel. But I'm a good kisser, so it makes up for it. But if you don't like the mustache and the mustache is the one kissing you,

then I don't think it makes up for it well. Yeah. But like, if I just, who tells you, everybody tells everybody there are good kissers. It's just a polite thing to say. I think you're gonna say you're a bad kisser. It's like, ooh. Except when I was think I'm gonna say you're a bad kisser. It's like, ooh. Except when I was a teenager.

How awful. I do remember getting a few critiques from girls that I was kissing and, you know, helps improve your game. I'm a fantastic kisser. I'm a fantastic kisser. I'm a fantastic kisser. Just ask my pillow or my mirror. It's not natural, right?

No, it's not. It's not really. Yeah, I'm very much like, I like girls to be more natural, but that's standard if that's the length of hair you want. That takes a long time to grow out. So I'd imagine that's a lot of work. You dated outside of your ethnicity before?

I have. My dating experience started off, dating more. He's white, she's black, just to give you the update. White boys? Yeah, I dated white boys at first. I've only had a few relationships but like casually saying people yeah i've pretty much been with everything under the sun black asian

well he's just mister popularity isn't it he pretty much populated the world he's pretty much the best farmer that ever lived he's pretty much the best kisser that ever was and he pretty much dated everybody under the sun i guess it's his confidence. Yeah. Well, Will's got a lot of confidence. Because the looks department is maybe lacking. He's a nice looking gentleman.

He looks a little bit like, I don't know. I can not see you, Thursan. Yeah, that's a thing. That's just my first of all observation. I know he's not. He's probably not, sorry Will. I'm just saying he's got that kind of, eugenics looked to him. You know will I'm just saying he's got that kind of you know, you genics looked at you know what I'm saying

Yeah, you know at least earn Uh, first he hit the button again, he's very quick. Yeah. But does she really throw up that someone grew a mustache? Or is that just being exactly what you want to say? Oh, sorry. Shit, he's quick. Oh, I feel like we could be friends, but you see, really good. I mean, he would burst if he gets stuck with that.

Yeah, I can do it. I can do it. I was probably saying you're very, I would make you shave. Okay. Yeah, let can do it. I can do it. I was probably thinking you made it. I would make you shave. Okay. Yeah, let's meet you. Yeah, we did one. Well, at least they're being polite with each other. I applaud them for that.

Yeah. Well. Alright, more to come. I was barred if I had to go out into the dating room. Yeah, I show. That's right. If I'd barred if I... I'd barred if that's my legacy on the internet.

Well, I don't know what I have to say. I don't know why I'm talking because a commercial break is my legacy on the internet. How is it gonna say? Listen Chrissy. We're forever... We're forever unemployable. Is what we are. Yes we are.

Forever unemployable. Yes we are. Thanks. Thanks, appreciate you. Welcome. No problem. That I can help. Boner spider is boner spider. Is your legacy out there in the internet. I couldn't be more proud. That's right. The 400 children that I've fathered through the sperm bank. They're gonna know about boner spider. All right

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And I'll say best to you. And I'll say best to you, out there in the podcast universe. Until next that I love you and I'll say best to you. And I'll say best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say. Good bye! So dirty in the morning!