The Commercial Break - Break Glass In Case Of Stupidity !

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

EP772: Bryan forgets to press record. So, he has to run an episode that should never see the light of day. But Hey...there are 12 others you can listen to from Saturday! In this episode: Bryan finds a Starbucks boyfriend, Snow White is a hot topic and 7 Little Johnston's are back (but not really, because this was recorded months ago!) TCBit: Placebotide fro your Measles! Watch EP #771 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CREDITS: Hosts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bryan Green⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Krissy Hoadley⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits / TCBits Music: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You hear that? Ugh, paid. And done. That's the sound of bills being paid on time. But with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card, paying your bills could sound like this. Yes! Earn rewards for paying your bill in full and on time each month.

Rise to rewards with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card. Terms and conditions apply. Whether it's a family member, friend or furry companion joining your summer road trip, enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety. During Volvo Discover Days, enjoy limited time savings as you make plans to cruise through Muskoka or down Toronto's bustling streets. From now until June 30th, lease a 2025 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000. Conditions apply.

Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details. Hey there, Jim Bob. Hey there, Jeannie Lu. Me and some of the girls are gonna meet up this Saturday to get coffee after book club. Want to join? Well, I'd love to, but my measles is done acting up again.

Are you suffering from monthly, weekly, or even daily flare-ups of your measles? Ask your doctor what placebo-tide can do for you. Placeb-tide, also known as table salt, is a prescription drug targeting receptors in your brain. Those receptors can make you believe that you can cure your own measles. Placebotide is known to be over 0.003% effective in all adults and 0% effective in all children. I used to think my rash was contagious. I used to sit inside all day. I used to think my doctor would cure me. Now I can just wish it all away.

Plazibotide makes my measles better. Plazibotide makes my rash less redder. Plazibotide. Plazibotide. Plazibotide. In rare circumstances, placebo tide may have serious side effects. Consult your doctor if you experience any of the following.

Rash, fever, better tasting chicken, high blood pressure, the inability to retain water, over-seasoned pasta and fruits, naeing like a horse, hospitalization due to measles, the actual measles, the retraction of invitations to social functions, the inability to join other human beings in public places, losing touch with family members, losing touch with reality, and in rare cases, divorce. I used to avoid indoor parties, I used to fear going outside, but now I love my little red bumps. I love my rash, it's pretty fly.

Placebotide makes my rash even better. I used to let my measles control me. Now I pretend I can control my measles. Get your life back on track and befriend your measles. Ask your doctor if Placebotide is right for you. Placebotide now has full FDA approval. If your doctor refuses to prescribe Placebotide, please contact your local sheriff's office and ask for citizen arrest instructions. Placebotide, don't let those measly measles bring you down.

Turn your rash into succotash with Placebotide. Placebotide makes my rash seem better. Placebotide makes my face look redder. Placebotide. Placebotide. Placebotide. On this episode of the Commercial Break Well, hey there, cats and kittens! As does happen from time to time, Brian will forget to hit the record button while Chrissy and I waste an immense amount of our day trying to hit you in the giggle spot with some mediocre comedy.

That happened yesterday, and since we just did 13 episodes of The Commercial Break over the weekend, we really don't have anything to back it up. But because we learned our lesson so long ago, we always have a break-glass-in-case-of-emergency kind of episode waiting to roll out on just such an occasion, otherwise known as the episodes that were too mediocre to even run on the Commercial Break RSS feed. Yes, we like to call them TCB's lost episodes, but there's a reason why they're lost. They're probably not any good. And fortunately or unfortunately for you, I'm going to have to run one of those today,

in lieu of any additional content. Listening back to this episode that we put in the can, it's not that bad. However, it will sound awful dated as we talk about Spring Break, the reboot of Snow White, and my favorite television show The Seven Little Johnstons, you'll excuse our brains just a little bit for being a tad foggy as us old folks in the old folks' home meet a couple extra reps to recover from working what everyone else in the world calls a normal day. Alright, enjoy this TCB Lost episode, and and I promise I'm gonna remember to hit record tomorrow

There's my my Copa. It's all you get enjoy The next episode of the commercial break starts now The commercial break I'm Brian Graham, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show Chris joy Holy best to you Chris best you out there the podcast universe the 530 kind of slowed me down for a minute Dinner time chicken nuggets to serve what was he serving chicken pot pie or some shit? Yeah, what was it? Chicken dog. No, dumplings. Chicken and dumplings. Chicken and dumplings.

Good old Mother's Day dinner with a weirdo in the corner. That I didn't attend because I had to get my kids out of there. For their own safety. For their own safety. Yes. Oh, my mother. My good old mother. She left me a message that some other people in the place are listening to the show and I thought okay. Well, you know, I won't be allowed there anymore. So that's good news. The old retirement home is It's gonna kick me out I don't know what to say anymore. There's gonna be a picture of you on the front door that says if you see this guy

Yeah, see this guy. Yeah, no no insies. No, no tixies. No taxis. No takesie backsies um which reminds me like I No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I do appreciate that not like I'm famous. That's not what I'm worried about what I'm worried about quite frankly Is the things I say on this dumb fucking show that I'm gonna say something that's gonna offend somebody's sensibilities Or they're gonna hear something about my personal life that blows the nice guy Brian walks in the door grabs a cup of coffee says hi to everybody. How are the kids? How's the dog get that tooth fixed and then leaves right? No, he's really just a whiny old dickhead. That's what he is He's a whiny old crabby crotchety former drug addict But you know hey listen

I very rarely get any shit But I have met a few of the customers up there now and one of the customers is we've kind of become friendly And I like the guy and he's an older gentleman and he's done well in life. He's sold a couple companies. You know, he's got a dog that he always brings up there. And so the dog, after years of going up there and seeing this dog, I think the dog just kind of took a liking to me because he would come by. He was on a leash, but I'd pet the dog. And eventually, hey, what's the dog's name? Hey, cool. Hey, what do you do? Hey, all right. Hey, I see you up here all the time. Cool. And now, you know, we have like little coffee dates or like little coffee boyfriends, right? He'll be like, oh,

I'm going up to the Starbucks. Oh, okay, I'll meet you there in 10. I get dressed and put on my best perfume and head up there. I put on my makeup and I go up there. It makes your face. Yeah. And then we sit on the, you know, on the patio and we chat and we chat. Super, super nice guy. But he's got like, he's got a fear of speaking in public and he's got an event coming up and it's his business so I'm not going to share all the details, but he's got an event coming up where he has no choice but to speak in public. And so I jumped in, he didn't ask for the help, but I jumped in and I think the original question was, how do you do it?

Like, how do you get on the microphone and talk to all those people? Well, first of all, I don't see any of them. So that instantly eases my mind. And I don't even talk to them live. When I was on the radio live, which only happened a very few times, because here's a little secret about radio, that's not even live. It's recorded minutes ahead of time and then pushed out. And most, even if it's like live, live,

which happens very rarely, maybe like a morning show or something like that, it's on a two minute delay. So you're not even really live, live. You can dump it, but you can dump it and move to something else. So nothing really in any media except for Twitch and YouTube is really live, live anymore. It's a, that's a high wire act that very few people do.

So I'm not nervous. I can go and I can edit out something that I say. Now I very rarely do that because I'm so lazy, but if I should say something that would be, you know, crazy, crass, rude, whatever, offensive, I just go edit it out. So I'm like, Hey dude, there's nothing to it. And he's like, well, I just don't understand. Because I just have this incredible fear of speaking in public. A lot of people do.

And I have owned companies. And when I have to get up and give speeches at those companies, you know, a couple times a year for whatever reason, he's like, I'm mortified. I'm terrified. He goes, sometimes I'm on a zoom call, and I get nervous, I'll bail. And I just pretend that the Zoom broke. Like, he's like, I'll come back later and I'll just pretend that the Zoom broke. And I'm like, I get it. It's not a particularly weird fear. There's lots of people that have this fear. I would be lying if I say, I feel perfectly calm walking up and speaking in front of people, but I have done it enough in my life that I have some coping mechanisms, mainly narcotics. I was going to say.

Yes. Little pills. Yeah, there's something about an incredible hangover that just knocks out all the fear. You know what I'm saying? That's true. If you're hungover, you can't think about anything else but that headache. But I think one of the things that you do is that you have to be relatively well rehearsed. I was gonna say prepared.

Or know the material you're gonna speak about backward and forward. So the words just come out of your mouth regardless of, you know, we've all been there where we're in such an anxious fit that it's like we can, it's almost like we're outside ourselves a little bit. It's like we're in a different world

and our mouths get dry and we can't speak the words. Where if you know it inside and out, the words just come out and you don't have to worry about being outside yourself because you're just, it's like an autonomous vehicle. It's just driving itself at that point. So I think that's part of why I feel a certain comfort when I go to a podcasting conference

or something like that. I know the material pretty well. I'm as well-educated about podcasting as I think most people would be. And so I said to him, I said, listen, you just gotta know this material inside and out. So I'm gonna put you in a boot camp. We're gonna do a boot camp,

and we're gonna get you ready to do this this number. I'm gonna help you get there. What a nice coffee boyfriend. Hey listen, I am a coffee boyfriend of coffee boy. I'm like a therapist and a life coach all mixed in one. But this is my first coffee boyfriend so I don't really know how to handle these situations but I just jumped in and offered to help him because I felt bad for him. Because this event is one of those events where he definitely has to speak. There's no question marks about it. He's got to say something.

He can't avoid it. He said, well, maybe I was going to think about doing a PowerPoint. I'm like, you're not going to do a PowerPoint. Don't do a PowerPoint. PowerPoints, unless it's the best PowerPoint that's ever been put together, no one fucking cares. It's a snooze fest.

And you- Yeah, cause there you just end up reading what's on the PowerPoint to the people. And then it's like, well, I could have just read it myself. Yes. If I had a dollar for every presentation that was given to me by someone reading the bullet points on a presentation, I would be a rich man because I've seen it

happen so much in my life as a manager of salespeople, as a guy who's gotten pitched by salespeople in marketing meetings, whatever it is, whatever the million thousand boring meetings I've been in, the boringest of the boring are those who bring in a fucking PowerPoint with a picture of the ocean and your sails going, you know, a graph that shows your sails going to the sky with a million words on it, and they sit there and read it to you. I can read, I don't need your help doing that.

You gotta give me some information, like, captivate me, give me some information, tell me a joke, I don't care. Tell me a story about your first girlfriend. I don't give a shit. Just don't read off your PowerPoint. So I said, no, no, no, we can't do that. You just gotta know this information.

But the first part you gotta do is you gotta write it down. Like we gotta get to that point. So I gave them some bullet points. I said, who, what, when, where, why. Let's fill in those gaps. And I told them specifically, hey, do this, write this about this, give me three stories about this. And we'll start to cull it and we'll piece it together.

And then, so, okay, so now we're on like our fourth coffee boyfriend date or whatever, and he knows that I'm a podcaster, but so far I've avoided telling him any details about the podcast. But then yesterday, he's like, so tell me about this podcast, what's it called? And I was like, oh, here we go. My coffee boyfriend's going to break up with me. I'll never hear from him again. It's all over. This show is called the Ezra Klein Show with Brian Greene. Smartlis. Yes, Smartlis. That's the Conan O'Brien. And so I had to pull it up.

And he was like kind of newbie podcast. He didn't know exactly how to get it all done. I don't think he listens. He doesn't listen to podcasts. So he had an iPhone, but he didn't even have the podcast. I had to do that same thing with people. Yep. So I had to download it and then, you know, I can't avoid it.

What am I going to do? Now I'm really on the spot. I got to actually show the guy that I have a podcast and that this is the podcast. And then I have to press follow so that he can go listen to it. And I'm like, Oh dear God. So I haven't heard from him since, but you know, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the coffee boyfriend relationship continues. He's a fascinating guy. I find him really interesting. You know, it's, He's a fascinating guy. I find him really interesting. You know, I was at a, let me tell you a story and I'll see if you agree with this. I was at a bar in my early thirties. I got invited to like a party. I didn't know many people there. It was a birthday party

and one of our mutual friends, one of our smelly mutual friends invited me to like glom on to a birthday party he was glommming on to as they were bar hopping. Do you know what I'm saying? Like no one was really invited. We just happened to be following these people around kind of. Yeah, it's just like this person's gonna happen to be there having a, celebrating a birthday.

Yes. One of my, this is how it goes. One of my friends, friend's friend was celebrating a birthday. So I'm like five friend circles removed from this. And this girl was turning, let's just say 28. I don't know how, I don't remember, but she was like in her late 20s, if I remember the story correctly.

And so it's Friday night, whatever, okay, cool. I come out to the first bar and, you know, saying hi, but I can already tell that people don't know who I am, they have no idea why I'm here, why are you at this girl's birthday party, why is your friend at this birthday's party, why is your friend's friend at this birthday party, and then how did you get to the birthday party? I'm just trying my best to like navigate the uncomfortable waters of a new social situation, you know, like, oh hey, whenever, whenever, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I buddy up with a couple of the girls that were at the party, right? And I just start chitting and chat, making small talk. And then we move on to the next bar. And now everyone's in the cups a little bit, we're all having fun. And one of the girls and I are sitting at the bar and she starts explaining that this is,

I'm like, so how do you know these people? She says, well, these are my friends. They've been my friends forever. And you know, it's, I love my friends and friends are friends and everyone's friends and friends. And I'm like, oh yeah. And she goes, how did you know anybody here? And I go, I don't know anybody here, but I just met you.

And so that's cool. Maybe I have a new friend. And I go, because when you get older, the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. True. And she instantly turned on me. We were like having a great time, laughing and joking. And I wasn't like hitting on her, like it wasn't that kind of vibe.

It was just like, we were just being funny and laughing and joking. Yeah, friendly. And she goes, well, that's a shitty thing to say and it's not true. And I go, oh, well, you may have a different opinion. That it's harder to make friends later in life. Yes, I said, well, you may have a different opinion. I said, but I'm a little bit older than you

so maybe you'll find out down the road that what I'm saying is true or maybe you won't. I don't know, it's not, I wasn't trying to offend you by that and she's like, you're saying some really shitty things, that's fucked up, that's really fucked up. And I was like, okay, all right, well, this was fun while it lasted. I thought I had a friend here and now I don't. Yeah, I thought we had, I thought finally I was getting comfortable

with the 20 strangers I just walked into the birthday party with. And now I've ostracized myself completely from the group, as I tend to do. And I'm like, okay, maybe that's why it's hard to make friends. It's because I say hot button stuff, like, you, have, it's harder to get friends when you're older. I don't know. Anyway, it turned like sour super fast. And I was like, whoa, okay, the vibe just turned. Maybe it was because she was drinking. Maybe that's just who she was and I didn't know her. I don't know. But okay. So now I'm like, all right. So I get up from

the, you know, eventually I just get up and I'm like, okay, well, good to talk to you. And I am trying to talk to other people to no effect. And now I'm feeling completely weird about the whole situation. And so I tell our smelly, I said, listen, I'm going to go, it's not, and stay, stay. And I'm like, listen, I'm just aware enough about myself and the world around me to know that I'm pretty much not welcome here. Like, this is not my vibe. It's not my scene. They're not looking for me to be here. The thing is, that's the same thing going on with you. You are just clueless. So you keep talking. You keep talking, they keep turning your heads. That's your whole scene. But okay, I'm leaving. He's like trying to convince me. No, no, no, no, no, no, stay, stay, stay. But I really found it to be surprising that I said something pretty uncontroversial and it turned

into such a big deal. Yeah, you hit a nerve. I did. I hit a huge nerve because the truth is, in my opinion, that it does get a little bit harder as you get older to make new friends. There are less and less situations where that happens and the older that you get, the more that people are established in their ways. Yeah, set in their ways. They've got their own little group of,

whether it's a partner or just a group of friends or they're just, they're already, they're set already. We're creatures of habit. We're very social when drinking and partying and situations call for it. We're very social animals and we wanna buddy up and have fun and find common ground and all that. And that's true at any age, it really is.

But the opportunities to do that start to wane as you get into your mid th30s. My experience, right? Because it's a bad look to be like hanging out at the bar when you're like 37 years old, you know, just hanging out with the 20-year-olds, you know, looking for new friends. That's called creepy, and not many people like that, and a lot of people see that.

But the other thing is that, you know, it's just, there's a different vibe. So I'm excited about my coffee boyfriend because it's an opportunity I have to make a new friend. Just like when I met Jackie Beans or some of those people at the Pearl Jam concert or, you know, when I go to wherever, wherever I go and I see someone that I like and I find them to be, there's a vibe there. I go, oh, I'm interested in this because I now know and I now see that the opportunities are few and far between.

So when you make them, take them, in other words. You do have the 30 children, so that is an opportunity there with the parents. Yes, it is. But they also know about the commercial. Astrid was at a school function for one of my kids. And this is a new school to us. It's our first year there. And when we did the paperwork for the school,

Astrid put my TCB podcast email. And we didn't know that they were gonna disseminate that email far and wide. I told this story. That one time the teacher, yeah, somebody sent an email and they copied everybody in the entire grade, but they didn't blind copy, they just copied.

And so everybody's email address was available. And so we did what everybody else does. You go and you look and you see what everybody's up to at their specific companies or extensions or whatever. It's just curiosity, right? And so, and we knew instantaneously when that email came through, oh shit, they're doing the same to us. I mean, they're doing the same to us. I mean, the same thing is happening to us.

So, you know, Astrid was at the school function and then they were talking with this other mom at the school. And she goes, so what do you guys do? It's a hard thing to explain. It's a hard thing to explain. I have to say, cause some people are very receptive to it, like, oh, that's cool.

Yeah, let me check it out. And other people are like, huh? Huh? What is that? How do you make money doing that? Well, we don't make money doing that. Right. Yeah.

Let's be clear about that first. Right. We make debt doing this is what we do. But the other thing is, I don't even think it's like sometimes, yes. But then it's like, it's a comedy podcast, but oh, stand up comedy? No. It's just me and my friend talking. Yeah.

Oh, it's improv comedy. Like I went to the dad's garage the other week. You like take suggestions and you make a little skit. No, we're not that good. Improv means we have no plan whatsoever. It just all comes from the top of my tiny little mouse brain. But the part that makes me nervous is not the explaining of the podcast. I think I figured that one out.

It's the content of the podcast. And we have long since blown by the idea that we can tailor this content. Listen, we intended for this show to go nowhere and do nothing. It was a largely a vanity project during the fucking pandemic. Yeah, it was something fun to do. Yeah. So if we tell a few wild stories, if Brian tells a few wild stories, well, most of the people who are going to listen to it know those stories anyway.

I'm just telling it with Chrissy, right? Well, it didn't work out like that. Five years later. Five years later, here we are. Anyway, so now everybody knows that it's like, so I dance a little bit around the parents sometimes because, you know, I don't know. Yeah, you have to. I don't know how they feel about me. And why do I, and you say, well, that's true of anybody. Yeah, but not everybody has 800 hours of material that you can sharpen

up on when you want to know about somebody. Like, if every parent at my kid's school had 800 hours of their life out there on the internet, I could get a feel for who they were and make a decision about whether or not that's my speed. And I'm pretty sure if you even listen to eight minutes of the 800 hours, most people are going to be like, oh, wow. They live under a porch. Yeah. They're letting those kids in? Did they?

Really? I think, honey, I think we should think about changing schools for old Jackson. Standards aren't what we thought they were. It's just not like it was before. I thought we were sending him to a good school, honey. Have you heard this commercial break? It's terrible. It is.

And it is terrible. And I can admit that. But it's our terrible. It's our terrible. It's ours. And you know what? Anytime you create... It's our ugly baby.

Yeah. No one thinks their baby is ugly. And I got news for you. There are ugly babies out there. All right, let's take a break. We'll talk more about our ugly baby when we get back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some really heavy thinking to do before 10 o'clock. Hi, cats and kittens.

Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void? Like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans. Or tell us a little story. The juicier, the better, by the way. We'd love to hear your voice, because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials — at The Commercial Break on Insta,

TCB Podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch — oh, that came out wrong — we put all the episodes out on video — youtube.com slash the commercial break, and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date. With my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day. Discover the magic of Bet MGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer. From Roulette to Blackjack, watch as a dealer hosts your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you are actually at the casino. The excitement doesn't stop there, with over 3,000 games to choose from, including fan favorites like Cash Eruption,

UFC Gold Blitz, and more. Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun, and make same-day withdrawals if you win. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. You don't want to miss out. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly.

If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hey there, cats and kittens. I want to tell you about a podcast from HeadGum I think you're gonna like. It's Handsome with Tig Notaro, Fortune Fimster, and May Martin. Two of those people have appeared here on the commercial break, the third is conspicuously absent, and I will be following up.

Every week, the Handsome hosts field a question from a friend and attempt to answer it together, covering every subject you could think of, from psychic experiences and reoccurring dreams to secret talents and favorite pop divas. Along the way, Tig, Fortune, and May tell plenty of stories and just generally have a ridiculous time. Sound familiar? Both Chrissy and I listen to this show, and exactly like the commercial break, they get questions from people like Jennifer Aniston, Paul Simon, Conan O'Brien,

Tom Hanks, Sheryl E. Ralph, Melissa McCarthy, and other notable listeners, just like the commercial break does. Handsome is a great podcast with two of the three hosts being some of our favorite guests, and I will work on May Martin. Subscribe to Handsome, where every list is a podcast, and check out the full episodes on YouTube. New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Headgum.com slash handsome for a full episode list. The Hot Honey McRisbee is so back at McDonald's

with juicy 100% Canadian raised seasoned chicken, shredded lettuce, crispy jalapenos, and that completely craveable hot honey sauce. It's a sweet heat repeat you don't want to miss. Get your Hot Honey McCrispy today. Available for a limited time, only at McDonald's. Oh my gosh, my kids are so excited to see this new Snow White that's coming out. Oh, I've been hearing about that. Especially the girls.

They're excited to see Snow White. It's the 1937 Disney's first full-length movie. I think one of the first color films that ever came out. Wow. It's the animated movie. I believe it won the Oscar for best picture, I think, if I'm not mistaken. I should know this, because my kids are like Disney freaks.

And they know stuff like this. They're like, hey, Dad, did you know that it came out in 1937? And I'm like, I did not. I did not care that much until you told me. But now I care because you care. But Snow White, this movie has been in production for like 13 years. It's been in production forever

and it's had so many problems. It's hard for as an adult and I certainly don't, it's hard for me to talk about anti-woke culture sentiment with my five-year-old. I can't talk about that kind of stuff. But this thing has been in trouble since the day it got announced. Is it animated?

No, it's live action. Oh, it's live. Gal Gadot, Rachel Ziegler plays Snow White, Gal Gadot plays Maleficent, the Evil Queen. And then it all started when Disney announced that they were not going to be, or they were going to be using CGI for the, the dwarfs. They were going to call it seven, what seven, uh, Snow White and the seven dwarfs. And, you know, people who are in that community did not like the fact that they were using the word dwarf.

Um, and, uh, Peter Dinklage was one of the people who came out and said, Hey, listen, this, this is not, we don't, you know, we don't care for this essentially. And then, so they changed the name to just Snow White, I think is what it is. They were going to use people with achondroplasia, uh, or dwarfism to be in the movie and then they backed out of that and then they decided to go CGI, not all the characters are CGI. So the dwarfs are the original dwarf concept, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Now they're called magical creatures instead

of the seven little dwarfs. So, and then there's like all this, like the two girls who star in the movies, two women who star in the movie, they don't care for each other because one is Palestinian and one is Israeli, and they're spent all this drama back and forth. They've both been very vocal about their own opinions,

about what happens. It's like a whole cluster fuck. And Disney has just like really mishandled this from the beginning. So now what you have- Disney drama. Disney can't get out of its own way sometimes. Do you know what I'm saying? Wasn't there a time when we all just accepted that Disney was a company that was cool for

the kids? Like, you know, oh, Disney made another animated movie. Let's go see that. That sounds good. Pixar came out with its new film. Let's go see that. But nothing can be left alone anymore. Nothing is sacred.

Everything has got to be torn apart and ripped to shreds and thrown down and thrown away. I mean, I don't know. You know, I think about The Office. So just, you know, sharing a little information, it's likely we're going to have one of The Office stars in here at some point in the future. And so I was thinking about The Office. Not Steve Carell. Not Steve Carell. No, I'll be clear about that. Not Steve Carell. But I was thinking about the office. Not Steve Carell. Not Steve Carell. No, I'll be clear about that. Not Steve Carell. But I was thinking about her role in the office

and how much I enjoyed it and how politically incorrect some of the things that they did said, you know, some of the storylines, just how brazen they seem today, but back then just kind of seemed like part and parcel of a comedy show, like, you know, a groundbreaking comedy show, but a comedy show nonetheless. Could The Office get made in 2025?

Probably not, probably not. There would probably be a lot of people who would be upset about some of the things that they did. And then there'll be other people who are upset because those people were upset. Yeah, it's like the woke, anti-woke, all of this cultural, like, nonsense just seems stifling to me. It really does seem very stifling to me.

Like, okay, if you go see Snow White on its merits, just you don't know anything about all the extra drama and you walk in to the movie theater and you watch an entertaining 90 minutes of film, then can't you just base your thoughts on the merits of the art rather than all of the drama around it? Because it's not like some huge, like, big deal

that happened. It's just like death by a thousand paper cuts. This little drama and that little drama and this little drama. And it all adds up to a troubled production and, you know, politically charged and it can't be correct and blah blah blah blah. It's like, I just want to go see a movie without all of that stuff.

Thank God no one actually cares about the commercial break and we don't get torn apart like that. We really don't. I mean, we have people have told us in the past. I think one time I talked about llama rape, like getting raped by a llama. Oh, you did? Yes, we did. But it was like a joke that I made, right?

I was like, oh my God, it's like getting raped by a llama or something like that. A totally offhand, a silly, childish joke nonetheless, but it was just like an offhand Brian absurd joke. And somebody wrote us, like a four-page dissertation on the word, why there should be a warning, trigger warning, on the episode. Do you remember this? Yeah, vaguely.

She would like a trigger warning on the episode, because those who have been through that type of terribly awful ordeal might get triggered by just the word alone. And I thought about it for a long time. And my first reaction, my knee-jerk reaction was, oh, I should do that. But then I thought to myself, then the tail's just wagging the dog. Then everything I say, then I'm just gonna start putting, if that...

Yeah, maybe we should just do a general warning. I do do a general warning. It's explicit, the show is explicit, it's absurd. And listen, there are women in my life, and a man, in my life who have been through that ordeal. I don't mean, no disrespect, I don't think it's a joking matter. No.

But I was talking about a llama. A fictitious llama, nonetheless. There really was no llama that did any damage to any human being that I know of. It was like kind of just a throwaway joke. And all of a sudden, I was getting this four page dissertation on it. And my knee-jerk, like I said, my knee-jerk reaction was like, okay, let me put a trigger warning on it. But then I was like, no, just listen to it on its merits. If you decide that my intentions were terrible, well then don't listen to the show. That's it. If you think that joke was made intentionally to hurt you or to make you upset, then there you go. But I can't fluff or nutter every single thing out there in the world. I just can't do it. How can I do it? Yeah, you can't please everybody. No, and that's like, I tell my kids,

it's like the world is a sharp place. There's a lot of sharp elbows, kids. You gotta toughen your skin a little bit, right? You gotta be a tough character to make it through life. And, you know, at the same, on the same, on the other side of the same coin, there is taking it too far. There is just, you know, being an idiot

to be an idiot for an idiot's sake. But I just really wanna go watch Snow White and not have all this drama. You don't have to listen to the drama. I know, but I feel like the people are going to be judging me. Like I'm going to walk into the theater and people are going to be taking pictures. Brand green from the commercial rich support is anti-woke. Oh, I just want to go see. Oh, are people protesting it? Brand green doesn't like, I don't know.

Of course, there's going to be some moron out there who's protesting it. Yes, there's going to be chatter online and morons protesting and people being upset and you support anti, you know, little people. No, I'm the biggest supporter. You are, the Seven Little Johnstons.

This is your favorite show. Big little family. I watch it all. I love it. I'm all about it. Those Seven Little Johnstons. I love that show. I just, I know it's so formulaic, but I love it. There's so much drama.

And the, here's the part that gets me about the Seven Little Johnstons. I know you probably, I'm sure a lot of people do watch this show and me included, but let me explain. Seven Little Johnstons, the reason why they call it the Seven Little Johnsons is because there's seven little people in the family.

They all have some form, I think of achondroplasia, which is the most common form of dwarfism or things that make people, I think that's what they call it, dwarfism. And they had two of their children naturally, two of their children naturally, two, two of their children naturally, and then one, two, three, four, and then is it two of their children naturally?

I'm just trying to make, I want to make sure I get it right. Anyway, a couple of their children naturally, and then they had a couple of their children, they adopted from other places, three of their children, they adopted from other places, uh, Russia, China, and then they had a couple of their children they adopted from other places. Three of their children they adopted from other places. Russia, China, and then I think Vietnam or the Philippines or something like that. But I mean, what a gift, right? What a gift. They had medical problems and no family

and all this other stuff, and they go over there and they bring them here, and they say, not only are we gonna raise you, but you're gonna raise you in an environment where you're going to be comfortable because everybody else is like you, right? What a gift, what a huge gift. And on TV.

And on TV, that's it. And you gotta imagine that that TV has changed their life in so many ways. They're on season number 15. But here's the part that gets me, is that they really do not shy away from talking about any of the drama going on in the family, including problems with their kids. Like problems you, those kids would probably rather not have the entire

world watching. And yet they do not shy away one bit, those parents from talking about like, the kids, like in the cutaways, you know, the confessionals, they talk about those children in ways that I'm like, oh my God, if my parents were talking about me like that, I would be mortified, mortified. But yet that train keeps on going. It's these parents, they just don't shut up. And I am, this last episode, I was floored, floored. One of the girls in the family

is having trouble with the family. She was adopted and she is, her behavior is not to the liking of the parents, but she's like 24 years old, but it's not to the liking of the parents, but she's like 24 years old, but it's not to the liking of the parents and the parents are like, we will not give up on our children, but we will not give in. And if she's, she's acting like this for attention and you know what? We're not giving it to her. She can be a baby.

She can go off in the corner and cry. We're not giving her the attention she is seeking. It's too dramatic. And I'm like, oh my God. Like imagine being that child walking through life and. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, imagine being that child walking through life, and the whole world is like, oh, your parents think you're an idiot. Like, it's hard enough that she's having trouble

with the family and that the parents are talking shit in the confessionals. I know. God. Well, but the girl, the child is 24? Yeah, she lives on her own. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, but still. I mean, she, the 15 seasons, like she was a kid when it started, like she's the child.

But this is not the first or the last time this has happened. Those parents are so intimately involved with every aspect of their children's life. They are smothering these children, smothering them. And I realize, it's a tough world out there. And tough love sometimes works. And OK, beat tough love, but man, are you really involved with your kids.

One of the guys, I think I told this story, one of the kids, Jonah, had, he smoked some K2, fucking Wybrian 3000 bullshit, and he went off into outer space, and they had a scary incident where they couldn't find him, and he was lost, and then finally, you know, everything got settled down. They went to his apartment, packed him up

and moved him back home. And he's like 21 years old, 20, 21 years old. They moved him back home and then they talk all about it on the show. He's not responsible enough to live on his own. He couldn't make it. We got to stay on Jonah. We have to wake him up every morning.

He won't even wake up on his own. And we have to get him up for work. We have to make sure, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, oh my God. As if life isn't tough enough. Well, yeah, that's too much. Yes, and then, and then in this same storyline, so this kid Jonah is dating a girl in another state

or wherever she lives. I think she lives in another state. And the parents decide that she's not good for him. The relationship's not good for him. The relationship's not good for him. So she sits them down together. The parents sit them down together. And they say, this isn't working. You two can't be together.

And then they read text messages from Jonah's phone to and from each other and point out that Jonah was lying to the girlfriend oh my god when he was sending these text messages but this is all shown on the television show and i'm like yeah i parenting is tough man it is fucking. My kids aren't even close to that age yet. But I'm like, I was this kid. If my dad had a confessional on a reality television show and had the kind of willingness to talk about it that these parents do, I would not have made it past 18 years old. I would have fled to Russia. It is unbelievable. Yeah. Well, that's like, who were were the other ones that Kate plus eight or what?

Kate plus eight. Yeah, yeah. Well, what was what were the name? Was that the original name of the show, though? I think it became Kate plus eight. No, it's Kate plus eight. And then it was Kate and whatever. Those kids got pretty damaged, I think, from growing up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. They got damaged from growing up on TV and then they got damaged by Kate. Because Kate, listen, when you have eight kids that are all the same age, I think

it was six that were the same age and two that were different age. Forget about it. I mean, you're going to have to run that place like a military school just to maintain some sense of sanity. But Kate really played the role very well of military parent. And I think that damaged those children because there was just not, they didn't feel a lot of love. And if you ever watched Kate, I mean,

she wasn't an extremely loving person. Yeah, she was. There was like a documentary on that, I think, that I watched. Yeah, it was a documentary. It was called Kate Plus Eight. Just watch it and you'll see it. Yeah. But I mean, I guess at the end of the day,

like these parents must feel that this might help some other parents by providing this information. That's the way the producers spin it. Of course, that's it. That's how the, I can hear the conversations going on now. You got to include this because this will help other parents make sure that their kids don't do K2. Well, no, nothing, first of all, there's no one cares.

All the kids are doing K2. They're no, nothing, first of all, there's, no one cares. All the kids are doing K2. They're not going to be stopped because Jonah did it, right? Second of all, the only people that are really learning a lesson from this are the children who are desperately trying to have their parents back and not television stars that want to, that believe that everything is good fodder. I'm not in their shoes. I don't want to make snap judgment calls.

But it just seems to me that after years of watching this television show and getting more and more intrusive on these children's lives, good, bad, and indifferent, that during the really tough times of their lives, maybe there's some stuff that just shouldn't be on camera. Maybe there's some conversations where you could just be like, you know, if Jonah wanted to say

something, he could go on and he'd say, listen, I smoked some K2, I had a really scary incident, my parents were there for me, we all figured it out, I'm getting better, I'm working on myself, and leave it alone. It's a message that everybody can understand, but it doesn't, it's not all the intricate details and how the parents are handling it,

talking shit about their own kid. And I understand their argument's gonna be, I'm not talking shit, I'm just telling you how it was. Well, yeah, but it sounds like you're talking shit. Because when you're on a reality television show, that's what you do! You create drama and you talk shit. You think the reality, you think of The Housewives

of Atlanta, you think the producers there are like, oh, we better show this, it's good for society. That's the worst, it's bad for society. It's terrible. Poor Jonah. Free Jonah! You're invested. And free Anna! The thing is, I'm really not. I keep it on when I'm editing in the background, but I just hear this stuff and it drives me batty. I'm like, geez, YouTube, parents, settle down just a little bit. Like, keep something for the dinner table. You gotta do that. Please keep something for the dinner table. Please, please, please.

These parents are so up the asses of the children that when their daughter got pregnant, she did not tell them until she was six and a half months alone. Yeah. She was so afraid of what they were going to say, probably what they were going to say to the fucking cameras, that she decided not to mention she was pregnant. That's smart.

She's got achondroplasia and she's pregnant and she's not saying a fucking word for six and a half months. She's guarded. That's right. She has learned that anything, everything is on the table. Exactly, nothing's sacred. And I don't want to have anything to do with it. And what do they do? They turn that pregnancy

into a whole season worth of storyline. But they probably got paid for it, you know what I'm saying? I mean, there's the flip side. When you're on season number 15, I imagine everyone's getting 15, $20,000 an episode. You make 15 episodes in a season. You're getting 300 grand for making a television show. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, I'd talk shit about you all day long if I got 300 grand. You would. Yeah, I would. I don't care. Bring those cameras in here. That's okay. I'll pee-pee-poo-poo everywhere.

I wanna film every bit of my daughter's body training. And talk about how my kid won't clean up his room. I'll do that on all of it for 300,000. Money changes everything. And you don't want to let go of that sweet, sweet fame. You know? Hey, listen. You get addicted to it, I'm sure.

It's gotta be much easier to walk through life when you have a condition that people may see as a detriment, but when you're famous, you know, it turns the tables a little bit. And I would, I'm not saying that's why they do it. I'm saying that I bet that factors in in some way and that gives you some leverage on the world that you otherwise don't have. And that I can, you can never fault someone for using their God given abilities to get

a little leverage in this world. Because I just said it, life is tough. It's full of sharp elbows, sharp corners, and dull landings. It's just like, you know, you've got to do whatever you can do to get ahead in life. That's your PSA for today. And now you know. And now you know.

And now you know. I know, I was looking for my chimes. Yeah. I don't know. What for my chimes. Yeah. I don't know. Chimes. No. And now you know. Still love the seven little Johnsons.

Still have any one of them on the program, if you want to come on. Jonah. Talk to our people. Anna, what's that? Talk to our people about that. It's a TLC show and TLC locks their talent down pretty good. I don't think they have the freedom

to do that kind of stuff. I think other television shows and programs, they encourage that kind of promotion, but I think TLC keeps that promotion to themselves. They promote it. They don't want anybody talking about storylines. They don't want things going sideways outside of their control.

So those, you know, Seven Little Johnston's, 90 Day Fiancé, all that stuff, we have asked for some of those people to come on when things get hot and heavy on the show, and it's like radio silence. Or one time we had a response, not allowed by contract. And so, you know...

Interesting. Hey, listen, I guess we'll just have to take really famous comedians. That'll be our lot in life and we'll accept it. Yes, we will. And also, we'll be back. Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you wanna help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me, or Chrissy, at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You

get the point. Follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break. And watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash The Commercial Break. Best to you. And Astrid. Especially Astrid. So you've always been picky about your produce, but now you find yourself checking every label to make sure it's Canadian. So be it. At Sobe's, we always pick guaranteed fresh

Canadian produce first. Restrictions apply. See in-store or online for details. Gotta get off the stuff all the... Gotta get all the stuff off the table or Astrid gets mad at us. So just letting you know, she's mad. She gets mad. We don't want Astrid mad at us. Because you get to go home, but I have to sit here and stew in it. You get the easy route. You have to go home. Jeff doesn't bitch at you about stuff in the studio. Cause all he sees is this. Yeah, he doesn't see all this. Five Hour Energy, which is one of our sponsors and we love Five Hour Energy.

But I think I mentioned that they sent us some Five Hour Energy. When I say some, I mean a lot of Five Hour Energy. A whole shitload of Five Hour Energy. Yeah, and Astrid was like, what is all this Five Hour Energy doing here? And I'm like, well, I don't think I could get through this in a lifetime. It's just sitting here. She get rid of it. It looks clunky. I'm like, it's not on camera. And

she's like, I'm not talking about the camera. I'm talking. I'm like, get rid of it. What are you a mafia boss? Take care of it. You come here to my house with your five hour energy, you clunk it up. I contributed to it. Get rid of it. Yes, you did. I said it was Holey's fault. But no matter how I try, I cannot divert attention to you, Chrissy. You'll always be the angel in this situation.

Oh, good. Yeah, but that's because Astrid knows me. She knows me too well. She knows I'm trying to pawn all of this off on you. All right, a few things I just want to take through to get it out. It was International Women's Day a couple of weeks ago. Yes. Merry Christmas and all that jazz to all the women in my life.

Thank God. Thank God. Thank God for women. Women are important. They are very important. Well, some might argue more important than men. Some might argue that one day women will decide we no longer need men and that we'll just do this on our own.

And to that I say, yay, just let me hang out for a couple more years. I just want a couple. We'll keep you around. Let me raise my kids. I'm pretty benign. I'm not gonna hurt anybody. You know, you can keep me around.

I'll do funny stuff. You have like a jester. I can just dance around. Now be funny. Now be funny. But yes, I will say I love the women in my life. Y'all are wonderful. I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm in love with the female form. What else can I say? If my Instagram algorithm isn't a testament to how much I love the female form,

then I don't know what is. I'm just enamored with the, I'm enamored with all of you. So congratulations. Oh, well, thanks. And I will also say, congratulations. And I will also say on a more serious note,

95, 94 to 95%, and this is an actual statistic, of all rapists will never spend a day in jail. And that is terrible. And so, yes. Why did you say that? I'm saying this for this reason. Because while we may not be able to change the court system or the way that any of that stuff goes down,

as men, as part of that group, the men, we have an opportunity to make it unacceptable in the culture for that kind of violence, any kind of violence, to happen against our fairer sex. And that's just the truth, is because if there's 10 guys in a room, one of them's an idiot. And if we continue to look the other way or not say anything, then we might as well be idiots too. Then we are the useful idiots who don't say anything, who don't hold people to task. So I will share that this was a shocking statistic that I read that came up on my Instagram.

Very shocking. I Googled it, it's true. And it's terrible. And so while it's out of our control to hold the gavel, most of us will never be judges. Thank God I'm not a judge. I will share that as a culture, as men as a culture, we can teach the other young men in our culture,

and we can share with the other guys in our lives that this is not acceptable. And if we know that it's happening, or we know it happened, or we think that someone might be prone to that kind of action, we can take action. I don't know what that looks like, but you will in that situation.

I'm not condoning violence, but I'm just saying that it starts with us. It starts in the home, and then it starts in the'm just saying that it starts with us. It starts in the home and then it starts in the community and then it starts in friendship circles. It's, you know, it's everywhere. It's pervasive. And yeah, that's what I have to say about that.

Okay. I also read an interesting article, Chrissy, about music singularity and how we are getting closer and closer to music singularity. And this really makes me very sad. Let me share what music singularity is. If you listen to a, and we just talked about this like a month ago on the show, if you listen to a rap song, a pop song, a rock song, and a country song right now,

it's likely you'll find very similar elements in all of them. They all have same hooks. They all are starting to sound much more alike. The instrumentation, the way that the songs are composed, even the notes that they use. Here's the reason, because the algorithm is determining what sounds good to us. The algorithm being Spotify and other places. What happens? Well, when an artist goes to make music and they get, you know, half a million listens

on song A, but then they make a song that sounds like every other song that's out there, song B, and they get 10 million listens, they're likely to make song B over and over again, catering to the algorithm, which is essentially just pulling all of that music together into one smaller bucket and it all sounds alike. But hasn't that been going on throughout the years though? I mean there was the sound of the 50s, sounds of the 60s, the different artists, I mean it's kind of trendy, right? Well I think there's a difference but yes there's the sound of the 50s or 60s, which is like, you know, Phil Spector sound, right? Doubling up on the drums and the bass and the echo and all this other stuff.

But that was a Phil Spector sound. But Marvin Gaye did not sound too much like Creedence Clearwater Revival, did not sound too much like Jimi Hendrix. I mean, there were certain elements, I'm sure that you could find some connection there. What I'm talking about is like, the music is actually starting a lot to sound, it's starting to sound a lot like each other. Like a country, a good country song right now

sounds a lot like a good pop record, sounds a lot like a good rock record, sounds a lot like a good, you know, R&B or rap record. They're all starting to sound the same. good rock record sounds a lot like a good R&B or rap record. They're all starting to sound the same, and the musicality of it is starting to sound the same. Maybe this is a long time coming,

AI and the algorithm are speeding this up. People are out there like music scientists are out there, determine it like they're saying. Music scientists? There are music scientists. Okay. The music theory is the science of music. Music theory is the science of music, and I guarantee it's a class you could probably never pass. That shit is really tough to understand. But this has been going on for a long time, and these algorithms are accelerating it.

This has been going on for a long time and these algorithms are accelerating it. And everything is starting to sound very much alike. Like the music that is- That's current, that's new. That's moving the needle, that's current, and that it's popular is very much all starting to sound the same. And since it's scientifically proven,

music, the music singularity doesn't sound like a good thing to me. I don't want all the songs to sound alike. I want a large, diverse pot to pick from. And when 33P was around, there was no music singularity there. I guarantee you that was unlike anything you've ever heard before. In the worst of ways. It was unique.

Yes. I mean, I still feel like there's going to be people, artists that want to make their own thing and that will be found. Yes. Will it be topping the charts? No, but I mean, not everybody likes the chart toppers. Yes, of course. Listen, there's always going to be the people who buck the trend, but will they be... Hold on one second. Hold on, I want to give you a definition of this so you'll...

Well, I've heard too about how eventually there's not going to be a way you can play songs. I mean, you can come up with anything new. Is that true? I mean, you can come up with anything new. Is that true? Oh, yeah. That's also music theory, and it is true. There is no combination of notes. Well, there are infinite, I mean, there are like billions and billions and trillions of ways that you can put notes together. But there are only so many notes in a scale, and there are so many minor and major notes inside of there, and then, you know, the other notes that are on top of that.

And there are only so many combinations of those. So eventually all of them will have been played. I don't know if that's happened yet, but all of them will be played. And that's something you're taught like very early, like in, I learned that in band, like there are only so many combinations, these ways they can be played. So when people say that, that chord progression sounds like this chord progression, of course it does. Especially like in rock and roll, there's only like six different chord progressions you can really toy around with. And rock and roll, there's only like six different chord progressions you can really toy around with. And yeah, they all start to sound the same,

but if you can orchestrate them in different ways and overlay instruments and songs, and I mean in vocals and lyrics and whatever else, you know, sound effects on top of those, you can make it sound different enough that it's original. The term musical singularity recognized as a scientific concept is sometimes used to describe when artificial intelligence or machine learning

will bring music to a point, to a level that is in, that where the music is indistinguishable from the next song. So technologically, it just starts to homogenize itself and everyone's chasing after those listeners and in order to do that you have to make a song that loves the out that the algorithm loves and it has to sound like the last song that the algorithm loved and so on and so forth. It's just a terrible, as far as I'm concerned this sounds like a

terrible thing and I'm not interested. Yeah, of course. And I'm thinking about getting the band back together. You should. So we can show the world what some original music sounds like. I said, but the who's about to force it. Sonny's not up. Sonny's not up.

Sonny's not up. Ah. Ah. That was unique. That's right. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Who was that? Westmoreland? Ah. Ah. Mmm. Who was that? West, Westmoreland? Who was that guy? Was that Westmoreland? Not Westmoreland. Um, Westscantlin. Uh, okay. We knew I do. Who was that guy? Was that Wes Moreland? Not Wes Moreland. Wes Scantlin. Okay. Hold on one second. Wes Scantlin.

Nirvana. Now I have to play this, Chrissy, because it's in my head now and I got to go for it. Got to get it out. Yes. Okay. here we go. Ready? I do, with the head to land. I do, with the head to land. I do, but you have a clue. God.

What a nightmare, Wes. What a nightmare, my friend. I mean, I realize my cover of Rage Against the Machine wasn't that much better than your cover of Nirvana, but it was a little bit better. And see, that's what I'm talking about. That's a diverse range of shitty music you have to pick from. We got to keep that going, kids. Listen to new music, find independent artists, go to the venues and watch them.

I was watching this video the other day about the music business, which is just a total shit show right now. Total shit show. I don't need to tell you this. Jeff must know this inside and out. But I was watching this video where this manager of local up and coming bands, but he puts out a lot of YouTube stuff. He's well known.

He talks a good talk and I'm sure he walks a good walk. But anyway, I've seen a lot of his videos and he was saying, in today's episode of the Music Business is a Shit Show, I wanna tell you a story about another manager that I know. That manager started putting posts on his Instagram where one of his bands was selling out four and 500 seat venues. And I knew this band and I couldn't believe that this band was selling out four or five

seat venues, let alone four hundred or five hundred seats. So I sent him a message, and I said, hey, what's up, brother? I see that you sold out these ten shows. That's great. How did you go from not even having anybody show up at your shows to selling out these four or five 500 seat venues. And he, as an example, he said that the band themselves only had like a couple hundred Instagram followers.

That's worse than the commercial break. I mean, it's hard to fill in, and we know it's hard to fill any seats when you have that kind of traction. And the manager told him, he said, yes, I actually bought the tickets and I have seat fillers going to the shows.

Seat fillers being people who just get free tickets and they go and they show up and they agree to stay for the whole, you know, they agree to stay for some period of time or whatever. And the big labels took notice to me, to the band selling out those 10 shows so quickly and now they're opening up for a major rock act in their next tour of Europe and North America. They got signed to do that gig. And I was like, holy fucking fraudsters. Like, I mean, holy fucking craziness.

Now listen, fake it till you make it, all that good stuff. Some people are gonna call this a really ingenious way of manufacturing some interest in the band, and other people are gonna say call this a really ingenious way of manufacturing some interest in the band and other people are going to say that's total bullshit. I don't know whatever you call it. It sounds crazy to me that you can say that that worked that that worked. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's too like the fake followers, that kind of thing. And then people then brands notice that and then they want them to sponsor their stuff or whatever.

Yes. There's a person that I know that, you know, there's, I don't know, there's a bunch of 550,000 people follow this person. And there's not like two comments on any of their posts. And it's like, OK, all right. So where are the 550,000 people? Where did they go? What are they doing?

And then there's some where you look at, you know, there's like some LinkedIn stuff that I've seen where it's like the engagement is so clearly manufactured by artificial intelligence. It's like sometimes we get comments, random comments, and I know that they're bots on our Instagram or our YouTube because it's stuff like great information. Yeah. I use this information on purpose, you know? So informative. It's like so informative.

And it's just so clear. But that doesn't, we didn't get called by a major record label asking us to open up for somebody. And that's the disappointing part is that why can't we do that, Chrissy? Next time we go out on tour, Next time we go out on tour, next time we go out on tour, I say next time, the first time we go out on tour, you and I are getting seed fillers.

We should do that. We should have our agent pay for seed fillers and have them clap for us. We don't have the money. I know, but we'll make it back once we open up for smartless on their next tour. You know what I'm saying? You don't know what I'm saying.

I got a whole plan for this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get people to sit in the front row. I'm gonna rent the Fox theater. We're gonna pay $160,000 to get all of those seats filled. We're going to have everybody that we love and we know show up there. We're going to put on one terribly mediocre show, but we paid everybody to clap, and then everyone's going to take notice of us.

It's a PR stunt years in the making, but it'll be fantastic. Then I'm going to come out and do my Lords of Acid dance. Yes, you are. The no dance. The body dance. The body dance, the body double dance. We're gonna call it the body double dance. All right.

All right. Depressing statistics and things there. Yeah, thanks. Can't all be shits and giggles. Yeah, I had to talk about that step that I heard on International Women's Day. That was... That's awful. It is awful. It's awful. It's depressing as a matter of fact. Yeah. But we should be talking about it. Like people should be talking about this. How is that even possible? How is that even possible?

How is it even possible? And the music singularity is not as depressing, but it's kind of depressing when you think about it. This is so hard for people to make a living doing music anymore, that it dissuades good musicians from making music for a living, because we don't pay attention to them, because they can't be paid attention to

There's nowhere for them to go. There's no MTV. There's no radio all of the Music apps are just gained algorithm. Maybe we should start something here on the commercial break. I Thought about it for a long time having like a local regional band come in and play Yeah, right there in front of us. In that three by three foot open available area outside all the wires, cameras, televisions, lights. We'll pay them in... Yeah, in five hour energy.

Yes, energy. We'll give them some five hour energy. It says energized on the side of it. Oh, there you go. Five hour energy. Yes, energy. We'll give them some five hour energy. It says energized on the side of it. Oh, there you go. Five hour energized. No, I was going to have them pipe through the TV, but then I decided that we can't even get one person with a headset, right? How are we going to get multiple microphones connected to one line that goes in?

It just became a big ordeal. But I will tell you this, if you are a musician and you do play music, and it's good, it's okay, and you permit us to play that music here on air, I would consider doing that. I would consider sampling some stuff just so people can find out what's good and what's out there. So there you go. I just burst an idea. Here it is. If you want your music on the commercial break, send it to me with a note giving me permission to play it. tcbpodcast.com is the website, all the audio, all the video, and your free swag at The Commercial Break on Instagram. 212-433-3822. Text me comments, questions, concerns, content, ideas, and youtube.com.

Slash The Commercial Break. Okay, Chrissy, that youtube.com slash the commercial break. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. Samsung Vision AI televisions transform screens into intelligent solutions from the shows that make us laugh to those that make us cry. Now, your TV knows you more than ever, whether it's reviving old memories with AI upscaling, or seamless hands-free control with universal gestures. This isn't just television, it's a whole new vision. Because it isn't just about what's on, it's about who's watching.

Learn more about Samsung Vision AI televisions at Samsung.com. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee, and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. Thanks for watching! you