The Commercial Break - Bryan Is A Branch!

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

Ah, the rituals of our time, cameras and cocaine. Just put your cameras down and pray the coke away, that's the story of Potifer after all. The european half shower Bryan’s sick of the influencers! Miranda Lambert…it’s giving crotchety Instagram spiritual gurus Alchemize in the shadows Disney adults Naked Attraction Cameras in airbnbs Vibrator emergency! Radical Dudes For Christ The Power The pray to rehab to born again pipeline Just pray the coke away! Joseph is a fruitful tree, Bryan is a dead branch A sermonette! Potifer? Potifer and The Power, a love story LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A lady that I know just came from my Yorker's fame She smiled because I did not understand Then she held out a tempang back a cocaine She says it was the finest in the land And I said no, no, no, no, no, I don't No more, I'm tired of waking it up on the floor No, thank you, please, it only makes fish needs Then it makes it hard to find the door

All together now On this episode of the commercial break If I keep on saying it, it shall make sense at some point Joseph is a fruitful tree I guess Brian is a fruitful tree. I guess. Yeah. Brian is a dead branch swept away by the landscapers who keep on interrupting the commercial break.

Brian is a branch. Brian is a branch. When I asked him what that meant, they said, I don't fucking mind who. Just keep refaiting it! The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The heart wants what the heart wants! Oh, sometimes it does. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and co-host, Chris and Joy. I hope like best of you, Chris. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Okay. Why, have you been to Europe? You've been to Europe. Yeah, you went to Europe recently, right?

You and Jeff. Yes. When you went to Europe, were you victim of the half shower? Do you know what I'm talking about? The half shower. Is it similar to the half-hoedly? Yeah, half-song-hoedly is not, it's not,atly? Yeah, half-song-hoatly is not...

It's not... It's kind of like half-song-hoatly. For those of you that don't know, if you ever get with Chrissy on Saturday night, and you guys have been having some libations, and you're having some fun, and Chrissy goes, let's turn on Spotify, and we're gonna listen to a few songs.

Chrissy will never, never, not once, ever! Make it through an entire song. Hence the name half song hoat. I get so excited to listen to the next one. You do, you get very excited to listen to the next one. So then everybody else has got to suffer because we can't listen to the entire song. Hence the name half song hoat,

but we love her nonetheless. Thank you. Well, if you don't have libations, sometimes we'll make it through a song. But if you have wondering, just wondering, it turns off a part of your brain that doesn't want to listen to the back half of a song. I know I get, well,

because I get so excited because I put together these playlists. And so I know, like all of the songs are favorite. So, Chrissy has everything's Chrissy's favorite. Like, can everything really be your favorite? Chef, it's the same thing. Well, and I am guilty of this too, so I won't, I'm not even gonna throw stones.

I should start with one of my favorites. One of your favorites. I'm guilty of this too, so I won't, I'm not even gonna throw stones. I said I should start like one of my favorites. One of your favorites. Every intersection that we would pull up to in Spain, because we rented a car, so I was driving. Every intersection we would pull up to. I'd go, this is the fucking craziest intersection I've ever seen. And then asked her to go, Brian, you realize you've said that

about every single thing in Spain. And I'm like, well, it's true. And she's like true or not true. You, everything can't be the worst or the best or the most amazing. And she's like, you got to change your verbiage. And I'm like, you don't English is your second language. Stop it. She's cool in you.

She did school with me. That's her likes to get under my skin every once in a while. It's fun. It's fun for the mayor. So just like that, Chrissy. I don't know about the half shower. Okay, half shower. Let me explain. And those of you who have been to Europe will probably relate to this. Because now I've been to a lot of countries in Europe and all of them have the same thing, which is you have a shower, but if there's a bathtub, the shower glass only covers one quarter of the actual shower. I don't know if you mean like the water goes cold or something.

No. I mean, they only cover half the shower, sometimes not even half, just a quarter of the shower with glass. So when you get into a shower, inevitably you're making an entire mess all over the floor. Yes. And I feel bad for the poor people who got to clean up after me. I'm like, Jesus Christ, I just made a whole fucking mess here over the floor. Yes, and I feel bad for the poor people who got to clean up after me. I'm like, Jesus Christ, I just made a whole fucking mess here in the shower.

Why can't you just splurge an extra $500 to cover the rest of the shower with glass? Why do you only have to cover half the shower with glass? Why don't you put an extra towel down? Well, don't ask me to do things. Are you expecting me to, I'm on vacation, I'm paying people. So I can pour water on their floor. I'm just thinking about the poor people.

Well, it's probably also to a precautionary, it seems like it would be slippery when you came out. Oh, it's very slippery. You should put an extra towel down. I should have put an extra towel down, but I didn't do that. You know, I can't go to the bathroom doing my number two. You know number three is puke. Astrid had the funniest joke.

I swear to God. No number three was diarrhea. No, no, no, no, number three is puke. No number four we can call diarrhea. But Astrid goes, I was like at the hotel and Astrid texts me and she's like, well, one of our daughters just made a number three. And I'm like a number three. What are you talking about?

She's like, she's just threw up all over the floor and I was like, that's pretty funny actually. Number three, there you go. So I cannot go to the bathroom number two without having something under my feet like a towel or like a, for a squatty potty or something. I love a squatty potty that happens. Oh, that squatty potty man, I'll tell you what.

It worked. It was like our first sponsor on the show. It was. And then we never heard from them again I remember we had a very exuberant great call with the clients Yeah, and then she like wrote us this email and she was like wow We're seeing a ton of traffic to the website and you know, it's doing really well and then crickets Crickets You know, I don't remember

This is why we need somebody else in the studio to do these noises for me, because I'm just not quick enough. Now that the joke's passed three minutes ago, you know what else I saw a lot of in Europe that I really wanted to mention? I, why do American Instagram influencers have to ruin everything?

They really do. Everything. They do. I'm on the beach. American, Instagram influencers have to ruin everything. I really do. Everything. I do. I'm on the beach. I'm having a moment with my kids. You know, some of them is first time they've ever seen an ocean, let alone be in an ocean. And we're just having a swimmingly day and swimming around.

It's just a lovely afternoon, Chrissy. And then all of a sudden, not a nowhere, comes this Instagram model, right, with a song that doesn't exist, like the tiniest, tiniest, winiest bikini, with her top off. She literally, and so I'm trying to take a picture of my kids in the ocean, and she comes right in the middle of my shot,

holds her boobs, and then she's doing this whole number where she's swinging around, trying to find the best light for her. This went on for 15 fucking minutes in the background. And I'm like, I can't get a picture of my children in the ocean without getting your naked tits in my shot. Now, I don't mind your naked tits, but do we really have to ruin everything with you finding the exact right pose?

Chrissy. It happened everywhere. I saw people setting up cameras, setting tripods putting their camera on the sea wall There were famous places where you could take pictures of the ocean or the bluffs or the cliffs or whatever Everywhere we went there's a fucking American influencer ruining it for everybody and I'm fucking sick of it Well, I think that has to certain age are below a certain age is maybe the way I should put it Things didn't happen if you don't have a picture of it. But this is, this drives me crazy.

This drives me crazy and this gets into something that after a night. The DC influencers in the wild. Oh yes. Yes. Account on the other side of the show. Yeah, shows this. This gets into something that's a really hot topic right now.

Me and my wife actually got into an argument about this and we argue very little. Miranda Lambert. Did you see this? The other day she stopped a concert because someone was bothering everybody else, taking a selfie or trying to take a selfie. And so Miranda Lambert stopped the concert

and she said, you know, whatever she said, basically if you're gonna not pay attention to me, seeing and what you're gonna do is just take selfies all day long, then leave, like let everybody else enjoy the concert. And Astrid was like, I mean, how rude, that all these people paid all this money to see them, what's the big deal about taking a selfie?

The big deal is this, when I have to watch a concert, I paid $6,000 to see whoever it is. When I have to watch a concert through your phone, because you just hold it up the entire time to get a picture, you're not that important. No one fucking cares. Tell me exactly where that video is going to be seen by anyone that matters besides you. And I got news for you.

It's 2023. Taylor fucking Swift's songs are going to be on YouTube from the city in which you went to see that concert, Garren fucking teed. You do not have to take a video yourself. Somebody else is doing it probably better than you. Stop it, stop it. Enjoy the moment, enjoy the show. One picture of your favorite artist, I get it.

A 15 second clip of the favorite song and you singing it, I get it. The entire concert that I have to watch through your fucking phone because I can't see the stage because you're holding your phone up the entire time is awful. It's awful. Stop it.

That's why some of those artists have the no phone thing we have to do to the back. The Jack White. Jack White does it. Yeah, there's a lot of artists that are doing this now and I agree with the artists. Guys, it's 2023. That video is going to be online somewhere.

You're not that fucking important. It's just like the commercial break. We think we're sending stuff out to people and no one fucking cares. Also, it's going to go in your library of a hundred thousand other videos and pictures that you have. Tell me when you're ever going to look at that. Tell me when you're ever going to look at that again. You're going to go on to the next thing.

You're going to post it on your Facebook. No one's going to care or Instagram or whatever. No one's going to care. You're going to get 50 likes, most 50 likes, and then you know what? It's never to be remembered again. Enjoy the moment, stop filming the moment, be there in the moment. To greed, Brian, I'm putting on the tree. Absolutely, be there in the moment, stop taking pictures so that I can take pictures

of my kids, that's more important. I'm putting on the treating. So the entire trip, I'm just bitching and complaining about this. I'm like, why do I have to watch the rest of the world through someone else's camera phone? God damn it! Ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, and after it's like, Brian, three words,

the commercial break. And I'm like, that's different. How is it different? I don't know what it is. Why do I have to have my thoughts or I'll sell you like, your thoughts are somewhere else? I can't stand it. And now let me give you a prime example

of what I think is just, remember we talked about the Instagram influencers who will like put a picture of their vagina on Instagram. Hashtag blessed. Ha ha ha ha ha. Hashtag be creative or lose your life? Love your life is your best life.

Creativity is this key to the universe. And what exactly are, why is your vagina have anything to do with that? I'm not really sure. I'm not making the connection between your vage for relativity. And you're into looming, wrong. I know.

Yeah, you're into looming. Just follow your dreams. And a five-star resort that some skin care company sends you to. And you're like, leave your dreams or let them die And you got your asshole showing. What's your asshole have to do with everybody's dreams? It's like it's not a winning combination. I don't know if anybody else besides I know that people do But do Chrissy and I see the absolute irony in this and no one else seems to because it keeps on happening

Now let me show you a video that encapsulates exactly what these influencers to the worst of the worst of the worst. Now, I don't know this poor girl. She's got a lot of followers. Way more followers than we do on Instagram. So everybody else has more followers than we do. Yes, there are my grandpas. Dead uncle has more followers than I do.

It's just insane. But now let me, I just wanna share with you just a 45 second example of what drives me crazy about Instagram influencers these days. They are all, every one of them think they're some kind of spiritual guru. Yes. And they're hucking this incredibly insane version

of spirituality that is just a mishmash of words that makes no sense whatsoever. I, if you meet, I said this, and now it's going viral on the internet. I said, I am an ice person if you don't talk to me. So I realize I'm being a bit of a cramudge in here, but it's just makes me, it makes my stomach crum. Well, you constantly see it and constantly see it and constantly see it.

Yes. I mean, it's just, it's, yeah, you ready? You ready? I don't even get on. I know. It's awful. Ready? Now, again, I don't know this poor girl and I know she's just talking from her heart.

I'm sure she's a lovely human being and her Instagram account is full of people who follow her. So I'm not busting on the girl. I want you to tell me, Chrissy. And then I want you, the podcast listener, or listener of the commercial break, that one listener of the commercial break, I want you to tell me whether or not this makes a lick of fucking sense. Okay, are you ready to do want to see this? I do. Okay, I'm going to show you an audio example of what you visually see on Instagram all the time with these influencers,

but this one, this girl's talking. Ready? Here we go. It's so important to have a creative outlet. It is important because your healing is directly related to your integration and the way that you're integrating. Your healing journey is determined by the way that you're integrating. Your healing journey is determined by the way that you are choosing to integrate what you're experiencing.

And the reason why I am huge on creativity, the full permission slip to be your most creative self and express and embody this full pleasure embodiment in your life is because creativity is an outlet by which you are able to integrate and literally alchemize your process and healing and shadow into art. What in the good fuck was just said there? Musins by an Instagram. You are able to integrate your alchemy by integrating the creativity into the healing process

when you... Into the shadow. Yes, into the shadows, Chrissy, out of the light into the shadows, creativity, allows you to impune the healing process upon your absolute best self in all ways and all shapes. The world has to revolve around your little fucking head. And that's the way it goes.

I know. This is why we're all fucking shitheads in 2023. has to revolve around your little fucking head. And that's the way it goes. I know. This is why we're all fucking shitheads in 2023, is because of this, this, what did she say? I have no idea. Want me to play it again? Would you like to take a stab at trying to determine decode what exactly she's saying? Because she said nothing, she said nothing.

Why is the creative process so important to healing? What? Want to enter? You have to optimize and integrate in your shadows and in a light beam of the little source inside of the, I don't even know. Yeah. What are we doing?

Why is the creative process so important to healing? Creativity is an outlet upon which our emotions, it's creativity is the conduit upon which our emotions can share. And you know what, that's it, that's all you needed to say. Yes. I don't even know where you were alchemizing from. Who's alchemizing?

Well, she was alchemizing in the shadows. In the shadows, nonetheless. And then she integrated that into her healing process. Oh my God, this made my brain hurt. When I saw this, I was like, this, these, this is the person I saw in Spain over and over and over again. Not this specific person, but you get what I'm saying. Like this person, I literally heard some lady at,

and Disney adults are the worst, and I'm one of them. Disney, you are. Disney adults are the worst. There was a girl in front of us taking a video. Of course, she had an accent that would indicate she was from one of the North American countries, Canada, the United States, whatever. And she was in front of me and she was taking this video and she was like, hey, she had a giving an update on Disneyland Paris. We're only 20 minutes for the Peter Pan ride. Here's a tip and trick on how to get around and the pay the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Stop it! Stop, stop it. Why do we all think we're so important?

I don't get it. And I'm saying this as a guy who gets on a microphone for a living every day. I realize the hypocrisy in what I'm saying. But you get the point. Like, we don't have to film every bit of our lives. We don't have to take a picture of every inch of everything that we do.

You know what we should do? Stop and enjoy what's going on in the moment. Take a guess at how many pictures I took while we were in Spain. A thousand. A thousand, one hundred and twenty-six pictures. You know it's another great way to remember trips is to journal about them. Oh yeah. That way that when I went to Italy a couple of times.

And my sister and I went probably 15 years ago together and then Jeff and I went closer to the time now. But I journaled and my sister when she came to visit, we pulled out the journal and we did. And it was little things that we totally had forgotten about. Were you half thought-hodely on the journals? No, I was. No, you finished your thought.

Totally, yeah. That's the problem with me journaling is I started thought and then I get distracted. What I would do is at the end of every day, I would kind of recount what we did. Oh, really? What it looked like in an expired, yeah, I would spend like 10 minutes at the end of every day talking about what that day was.

And that was really helpful. Far more helpful than me doing a bunch of videos of, yeah. I was too busy watching nudity on Spanish TV to actually journal so at the end of the night, yeah, take a detraction. Okay, we'll get to that one. Oh my God, that was crazy. That is crazy and I can't wait to break that video down.

I think we recorded an episode with a show called Naked Attraction, which we talked about here before, which is a wild dating show. And of course, something like that. Before I'm fascinating all at the same time, we can't look away. You can't look away. But you also feel horrified

that these people are just standing there. But as naked, be judged from head to toe. We'll do that episode coming up real soon. I promise we'll get to that. It'll be the most controversial and edited episode of the commercial break ever, because certainly won't go on YouTube.

That's for sure. But we'll do it here on the audio version so you can hear what we have. But I just, the entire trip, I was just like, I guess I was extra sensitive to all of the filming that was going on around me at all times. I really just recognized how prolific cameras have become in our lives.

We stayed in an Airbnb in a place called Valencia. And in that Airbnb, there were three separate cameras, one in the hallway, one in the kitchen, and one in the one right when you walked in the door. Cameras, and I was like, this is can't be good. Right, you can't have, or legal. How can you film me while I'm in your Airbnb without telling me and having me sign some kind of consent form

No, I don't know Spanish law, but apparently what it was is that the police will give you these cameras So that if an incident is going on inside of your house They can turn it on to see what's going on to give them some kind of indication of what is happening inside of the house That's what they're telling you. That's what you're telling you Yeah, and then my aunt-in-law was saying, well, it's illegal for them to turn those cameras on unless you've called the police and there's an incident at your house.

And I'm like, yeah, thank God we can trust the government. Right. Thank God we can trust the government to keep us all safe. Oh, okay, it's cool. Yeah, what a load of horse shit. Do you think I believe that the government doesn't turn those cameras on? They're recording everything.

And it was so unnerving to me, but then outside of the house, then I realized just how much filming is always going on with everybody. And the sadness wasn't like my frustration, any irritation didn't come from the fact that I was being filmed unwittingly by everybody else. No one cares, no one's gonna know who I am

or see me in the background or whatever. What I did think to myself is this sadness about, why don't you just enjoy the moment? Like, why do we have to do this? We go to this Disneyland Paris. We go to the Lion King show, whatever, right? Kids like Lion King, we go to the Lion King show.

Me and one of my kids could not enjoy the show because the lady in front of us put her camera like this the entire time right in front of us put that camera and I had to watch the show through the camera so at the at toward the end of the show I started going Buh-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la Oh, lady. Oh, lady, oh, lady, oh, lady, no, lady, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait. I'm sorry, lady, I had to do it. You should have known better than to put your camera in. It's rude. If you want to put your camera in front of your own eyes like this, then, okay, if I'm not being irritated, but she literally put it so she could watch the show, but the rest of us had to look at it through her fucking video camera,

through her fucking iPhone, awful, awful, just disgustingly awful. We should have stopped this a long time ago. When guys like my dad were carrying around that big box VHS thing, we should have stopped right then. We should have told everybody, stop, put that fucking box away, stop it.

That's why flip phones are becoming popular again, because people are like, you know what, I don't want anything to do with 2023. Flip phones people are like, you know what? I don't want them anything to do with 2020, 23. Flip phones are back. Did you know that? I like that. Yeah, one of those major carrier companies is now selling a flip phone. And I think the flip phone only texts and takes still images. That's like 10 frames per second or something like that.

Whatever. I would happily, happily. I would happily, happily. I would be okay with at least that shows, like concerts, shows and stuff like that. I would totally be okay with, you gotta put your phone in one of those sealed bags and, you know, turn on your vibrator if you need an emergency, if you have an emergency or something, turn on your vibrator. Turn on your vibrator.

Vibrator emergency. Yes. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! I would totally be okay with just like an instituted policy across the board where you cannot videotape inside of a show, period and dissentance. You'll make it. I promise. I mean, like I said, I just went to that Jack Watch show period and dissentant. You'll make it, I promise. I mean, like I just went to that Jack White show

and it was so nice actually. You don't actually also have the pressure to go, like, well, I've got this. I got to check my phone. Should I check it? Should I make a picture? Should I make a picture? I should, since I have it here,

it was just like it wasn't an option. You know when you take a picture of a Jack White show, when Jack White invites you backstage to take a picture? That's when you take a picture of the Jack White show when Jack White invites you backstage to take a picture. That's when you take a picture of the Jack White show or he bends down and grabs your, you know, some artists will grab a camera and take a picture or whatever. That I get. I side with Miranda Lambert here a little bit.

I do too. It's like you singing your heart out for all of these people and two fucking Yahoo's in the front are making a miserable for the rest of us. You know, I don't know about calling them out necessarily, but I understand her frustrations. Yes, in the moment. Yeah, they did pay a lot of money to see Miranda Lambert, and they should be able to take pictures because there's no rules against it. But I do understand Miranda's frustration and her aim.

Well, it must have really been going on for a while because I mean, yeah, you don't just do it quickly, you know, quick, hey, here's a shot, and the Miranda's in the background. Yeah. There must have been, like, it must have been going on for a while. That's how I felt like I won the argument with Astrid. I was like, listen, Astrid, there's more to this than we see. Like clearly, it wasn't just one picture they took,

and then Miranda got upset. No, of course not. They must have been irritating people for a long time, trying to take the perfect selfie with Miranda in the background. And that's not why Miranda's on stage and that's not why you came to the show. You came to the show to enjoy Miranda singing. So let Miranda sing, just let her do her thing.

Of course, they have, you know, everyone has a camera and they all have permission to take pictures because it doesn't say otherwise, but don't make it a fucking miserable experience for everybody behind you. That sucks, man. That fucking sucks. Yeah, the people behind these people, I'm sure paid the same amount.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Exactly. That's right. When I went to Lion King, I paid the exact the same amount. Everyone paid $10,000 for the privilege of having their child at Disneyland, fucking Paris. I'm going to stop.

I got to find a new hobby for the kids. I got kids' hisses out. So expensive. So expensive. You got a ton of Disney stuff. Well, yeah, that's what you do when you have kids. I mean, you know, the kids love Disney, and I do too. Like, the kids love Disney and I do too.

And I'm not, you know, taking the bait on all this woke bullshit. It's just kids shows. I mean, not said it. That's it. It's kids shows and kids saying, and that's what kids like. So, you know what? Take them when you can't.

But here's what I've determined. For the next five to 10 years, we're not going to any of the lands, the worlds, the lands, any of that stuff. Like maybe we'll go on a cruise again. There's just too much. It's essentially overload for the kids and for the parents. And when I looked around at one moment,

when I was there, I looked around, anybody under five years old, was either crying, throwing a fit, throwing up, or sleeping. Oh, I know, I know, right? I thought to myself, I like had a moment of clarity, where I was like, this is too much for these children. It's too much, like it's too much overload.

It is, it is. It's dinging and dawging and rides and all this other stuff. So, characters, yeah. I have determined that and they don't fucking remember it. Well, I was gonna say my parents waited until we were like in middle school before we went to Disney. Okay, and I remember that. Yeah, and I remember being a fantastic experience. I was old enough where I could, you know, if I'm hungry, I can eat.

You know what I mean? Like with the kids, you don't why they're crying. Maybe they're hungry. Maybe they're tired. Well certainly some of my children are way too young to even be in a park like that. Like you know you take them but you're basically just dragging them along on your adventure. And so whatever that's fine. A couple of them I think are old enough to maybe remember bits and pieces of it but I didn't go to Disney for the first time until I was like eight or nine or 10 years old for either. But then once the can opened, then forget about it. It was a million times. Yeah, I don't know.

There's something about that Disney world specifically that's just kind of like, it's a place where you go and then you're encapsulated with all of it. Magical. It's magical, that's right. And I realize that there's so many cynics out there right now and you know, those Disney's love, loves their grooming and children.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Ruebing their children ever heard this. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh Disney's grooming our children to be gay and child molesters and homosexuals and transsexual people. It's like guys, do you have to ruin fucking everything? Do you have to ruin everything?

Can't you just ruin a few things? Like don't ruin everything. I can't drink Bud Light anymore. I can't go to Disney World. I can't, I can't play with. Can't you just ruin a few things? Like, don't ruin everything. I can't drink Bud Light anymore. I can't go to Disney World. I can't play with bar, you know, I can't go to the Barbie movie. It's like, why are we so worried about any of this stuff? Why are our balls so twisted up over the silliness?

Tell me where Disney is grooming anybody. I've never seen a movie where my children are getting groomed to be homosexual. And I've watched a lot of Disney movies. And it's just silliness. And you know what? It happens on the left too. So I'm not just singling out there, right?

Also, the cancel culture is out of control. Like, it's more canceled. It's more canceled. Why? Because you said, he. Okay, all right. Settle down. Everyone's settled down.

So I like the Disney, but I think the Disney is a little too much for the kids that are that young. I think so too. I mean, my sister came in town and we went to the Fernbank and I think I was telling you about this where we, it was sensory overload. There were so much, there were huge diners or blowing bones and then there were live animals

and then there was this and there was, yeah, there was the player. My sister at the end, she was like, don't make eye contact with them. They're getting sensory. There's going to be a meltdown. Sure enough. There was a meltdown.

There was a meltdown. That's it. It's all it takes. You just take one little tap of the shoulder if they're in the wrong mood and then it's a full meltdown. And the thing is when you go to one of these parks, what you see is that almost everybody under the age of six is having some kind of meltdown because it's just too fucking much. So I'm not worried about-

So you're gonna do maybe small doses, what are you gonna do to do a little Disneyland experience in your yard, front yard? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna build up pirates of the carib, you know, like when during the pandemic and people were like building rides in their house to say, oh, we can't go to Disney,

but here I made a whole pirate to the Caribbean. That is taking it too fucking far. I, if, here's my, here's my thing about playing with the kids. If I have to build or take down anything, I'm out. Like, I'm just out. I'll come, I'll come put up some stuff. I like putting stuff together. Let's watch 90 day fiancee.

What do you say kids? Come on. Come gather around and watch naked attraction. Let's watch 90 day fiance. What do you say kids? Come on. Come gather around and watch naked attraction. Let's see some labias. Who wants the season pussy lips? Who? Come on kids. Come on over here.

It's just a body, no one cares. It's natural. It's all natural. Speaking of all natural, last episode, you and I were reviewing a video of a group called Radical dudes. Radical dudes. For Christ.

Hey, why are you so radical for Christ? In the 80s, there was a group of guys, buff, obvious, probably roided out guys that went around and sold out arenas, smashing bricks with their head and their hands and kicking people in the face and breaking ribs and doing all these manly things for Christ because that's how you show your love for Christ. You prove it by breaking 20 bricks with your head.

I'm not really sure. Or I don't know. Maybe the, I'm not going to say that. I don't want to get canceled. It's the group is called the power and we reviewed part of this video and this guy was giving us testimonial about how he got hooked on beer and a lot of cocaine

he was using the word cocaine every third word yeah he obviously was and probably still is as of this video addicted to cocaine is this guy is sweating like a beast he's wearing full parachute pants full parachute jumper i mean the guy is sweating like a beast. He's wearing full parachute pants, full parachute jumper. I mean, the guy is all over the place. So I thought we'd go back. He's got more to say. Okay. We just called a couple minutes of it.

He's got more to say. Let's take a list to do a part two of the power. Chrissy, I was throwing on the internet. As you do. Do you like to do? G-C-B. Hey everybody, it's your favorite part of the show, where I pine for more of your attention. First way, you can help fill this hole in my soul, go to Apple, and leave a positive

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You may be the reason we have electricity in the studio tomorrow, and I thank you ahead of time for that kind gesture. Let's listen to those sponsors for a few minutes and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. Hey Podcast Universe, it's Christina, executive producer for the commercial break, and we are so excited to let you know that Rocket Money is sponsoring part of the show. We've all done it, gotten a little wine drunk and started a free trial so you could watch a new show, only to find yourself looking at your bank account a few weeks later,

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I have the power by the power of Grayscale. I loved that. So good. Oh, you're a radical. You're breaking it with your bricks. You're shrinking your dicks with oxy-cut and cocaine. Ha, ha, ha. I'm not a fucking motherfucker.

Wait, hold on. Hold on. Yes. Why did it just cut to a construction worker guy? Well, the construction worker is setting up 15 fifteen blocks of ice which this guy is then gonna get in a three point football stance and he's gonna break that's what we're watching on the television he gets back to talking here to second but if you want to go youtube dot com slash the commercial break you can check

this out as this buffed up uh... hopped up way high guy he's gonna run through twenty bricks of ice. I'm gonna be a new world, you know how I'm gonna be. Yeah, but why is the guy wearing a construction outfit? I don't know. Hey, boss, I can construct a piece of 15 bucks ice for you.

You wanna take off the construction outfit? No, no, no, no, safety first. Safety first. I'm gonna break this by his with my head. Safety first. Hahaha. Do you get any cocaine? I'm gonna have some cocaine running around here if you want some. You want some cocaine? Oh, man.

Oh, man. What a guy. He's a rapper. Six foot four. Yes. Three hundred and a half. I'm gonna give it everything you got. Six foot four.

Three hundred and ten pounds of this guy is. he is a monster of a man. Yeah. Yeah Sick of the world give me back nothing and I know what doctors not gonna give me what I want and I know a psychiatrist It's not gonna give me what I want. Wait, did he break it? I don't know. So here's, you've got to watch this. Like along with the audio of the terrible song. I know I try and do stuff where you don't have to watch in order to get the gist of it, right? But here you should go to youtube.com slash the commercial.

When I tell you to go, I promise you you won't be disappointed. This guy, they set up, they stand up 20 blocks of ice that are about two inches they can construction workers. Yeah, yeah, safety goggles on ice. I don't know what's going on. And then they tape a pillow to the very end one so that he can run, he can go on a three point stance like football, run about 30 feet and then use his shoulder to break the break, all of the ice. However, we didn't see the break. Yeah, in the video, it literally stops, stop motion when he hits the brick, when he hits the ice, when he hits the pillow, it just stops.

We don't see if he actually broke anything. He probably broke his clavicles, what he broke. Yeah. That's something that don't. And I walked over to my wife and my wife's mother and father, they're born again Christians And I walked over to Jane and I looked to write any eye I Want to have sex with a prostitute Does anybody want any cocaine and I said honey? I said how do you do it? She said what do you mean? How do you get that? How do you wrap that hand around and grab my balls when you're on top of me? How do you do that? Show me again Hey mom, hey dad, so I want to talk to my wife first. How do you do it?

She said, what do you mean? I said, how do I pray? I? Said how do I pray? My wife popped up off the couch. She grabbed my hand, we knelt down together in our apartment. You know, I don't know. Let's think about this for a minute. So are you telling me that he was this cocaine alcoholic, but he was married. He was married. And she was a board again Christian and her parents were and she married him and she married him. Yeah, he was a cocaine hopped up guy who was addicted to beer steroids and steroids and probably a lot of other stuff and Psychiatrist weren't gonna help him and doctors weren't gonna help him, but yes, his wife. How do you pray? Yeah, she popped up

She knelt down and she said this is the prayer. I say every night dear Lord. Please let my husband die Clioly in the night. And please let the insurance premiums be paid. That don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior might be here tonight and you think, what's this shung man talking about? I'm a big tough guy. I could handle life on my own. I can make it on my own, but let me tell you something You can't make it on your own and I came to the realization for you. You can't make it on your own

They're showing how to they're showing it through the block of ice That's dripping. Yeah Who directed this Christopher Nolan? That's where the funny stuff is getting a shot through the eyes. Yes. There's a production quality on this is a plus Who's your editor Brian Green? What's going on back there? As a girl when I got on my knees and just like the Bible says like a small child I humbled myself I raised my hands up in the air and I said a small prayer with my wife together. We set it together.

We prayed together, my wife let me do this center. Dear God, let D.B. awake right now. Let D.B. awake, call me back. I've said many a prayer in that state. Please call me back, D. please. It's only 4.30 in the morning. I just talked to you two hours ago. You're not up anymore.

Really? You're business. Prayer, yeah, it's your business. Yeah, it's your business. Your business is delivered drugs to me. I said, Jesus Christ, I know I'm a sinner. Come into my life right now and be my Lord and be my savior. You know, when I said that small little prayer, I stood up on my feet. And just like Bible says, I became a brand new creature in Christ. All things were passed away and other things became brand spankin' new.

Everything was brand new in my life. Well, wow. Everybody's got the same origin story when it comes to this kind of stuff. You know what I'm saying? Is that one moment when they're at their lowest and then they just set up prayer and everything turned around for them? Which, not to knock that, for those of that it works, but this seems fantastical.

No, yeah, it does seem fantastical, but to be fair, like you're up there entertaining people, we also tell fish tails here on the, like you have to make it entertaining, right? Not everything is 100% true. He probably prayed, then went to rehab, then did some more cocaine, then went back to rehab. Yeah, then cheated on his wife a couple more times, then prayed again.

And he probably prays every time he gets in trouble just to make his wife happy. He's just like, how do you do it? How do you do it? Teach me how to pray. I just fucked your sister. Sorry about that. Teach me how to pray. Let's pray that away.

I'm a sinner. I'm a sinner. You know, this is like an old, this is a, I've said this before on the commercial break. When you go to these mega churches, when you go to these Christian concerts, when you go to these revivals, when you go to these big hype them up kind of things

that a lot of Christianity seems to be geared toward these days, big productions, music that goes on forever and ever, swooping, swooning music, you can sing along to. Yeah, rock stars. The same way that a concert manipulates your emotions and then you eventually come to a crescendo where it's like that moment when you get chills and the hair stands up in the back of your head.

Someone could tell you to rob a bank in that moment. You might do it because you're just so emotionally charged by what's going on and it is created to do that for you. It is, they are simply fucking with your physiology. That's it. This is the same thing that this guy is doing right here, same exact thing. There's only one difference. This guy's 310 pounds.

He can do a lot more cocaine than those preachers can. And he has ice. Ooh. That's the cherry on top. Remember we were calling Crystal meth ice for a few days? I was like ice, getting the ice. Remember when I went to that party with those swingers, the chiropractor swingers?

Yes. Yeah, that's what they were calling the stuff they were smoking. Ice. Because it sounds a lot cooler. Yeah. White people call it ice. Everybody else calls it Crystal meth. Why am I crazy for Jesus? Why am I a radical for Jesus?

Because the next day I had no desire to put alcohol on my body. I had no desire to put drugs inside of me. I didn't want to listen to the rock and roll music. I just want to listen to music that uplifted my Lord and saved your Jesus Christ. I'll tell you something. That's why I'm radical. That's why I'm radical. That's why I'm radical! That's interesting. I'm radical!

I stopped you in cocaine, I went for the heroin! That's untrue, I'll just tell you that. If you have a true addiction, you don't just the next day stop. I mean, you do, it's called jail, right? I mean, when you go to jail, that's when you stop or you're incarcerated in some kind of psychiatric facility. Yeah, I'm forced to. Yeah, you don't just stop doing cocaine overnight.

Take it from someone who knows. You don't stop doing cocaine overnight. You usually stop sometime in the early morning. That's when you stop. First of all, second of all, it just doesn't turn off like that. Although I guess it kind of does. Like, I mean, at least for me, I just woke up when, when, when asked for told me she was pregnant, that's when I,

that's when i heard the major event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event event Oh my god that looks like it hurt he ran into the ice that looked like it hurt Why is he running into the ice I don't know I have no idea it says I have no idea what that has to do with Christ or the Lord Did what I don't get it did I I thought it was like a fishes and loaves. I didn't think it was like ice and bricks Jolsa is a fruitful tree, a fruitful tree by a well. His branches run over the wall. Is a tree by the creek, down by the wekin tree? I like the tree.

Joseph is a well down by the Wacken tree This guy talking about when they read that to me today. I said what does that mean? They said listen listen John Jacobs Joseph in one translation is a fruitful tree a fruitful tree If I keep on saying it it shall make sense at some point Joseph is a fruitful tree. Like it is for every spring. Brian is a dead branch swept away by the landscapers

who keep on interrupting the commercial break. Brian is a branch. Brian is a branch. When I asked him what that meant, they said, I don't fucking I know just keep repeating it well his branches run over the wall meets got a big dick my branches also run over the wall the Lego wall the title go wall. The title of this little sermonette is a wall, a well, and the will of God. He calls it a sermon

that that's going to be cute name for it. Yeah. It sounds like smurfing. Hey girl, I'm going to do a sermon at my branches about to run over your wall. You know what I'm saying? Joseph is a tree and Joseph is the name I gave my dick. Joseph is a tree fruit fruitful near your well. Let me stick my branches over your wall.

A wall, a well and the will of God. How many of you don't understand that Joseph had a lot of walls in his life? When he was 17 years old in the Bible. How many of you understand that Joseph had a lot of walls in his life When he was 17 years old in the body of you understand. Yeah, I heard a rousing. Yes People are like what is he talking about and why I why does he have so much duct tape around his hand? This is the weirdest thing. Why are we doing this for Christ? I don't understand I don't know. I love the PA guy in the background. He's like checking his phone back before we get my phone. Check out his phone. He had a beer in his hand last episode. Joseph was given a dream by God.

And when he told his brothers his dream, his brothers said, oh, we can't take this guy in longer. And how many remember in the Bible, where his brothers sold him into slavery What okay, I do not pretend to know I know every verse in the Bible But that happened Joseph sold them it's Joseph got sold into slavery his brothers They're like we can't take this guy anymore. you get on this slavery? Yeah, that's awful.

That is awful. That's an awful family. Kevin never tried to sell you. No, not that I know of. He might now, he might be like, wait, that's a thing. Yeah, you can do that. You can do that. The Bible was so long ago.

You could twist this passage up in all kind of ways. the tree could be a dick the brick emmy you know the well could be a but you could make this twist this and then he this is why the bible is so subjective and people who try and make it objective like this is absolute fact this makes no sense whatsoever in a pit and it resulted in him being sold in a slavery. How many of you understand he was up against the wall? He was sitting in a pit. He didn't deserve it. How many no things happen to our lives? We don't deserve and we can't help. Why do I keep on asking you if you understand when you are not responding? You gotta know this about crowd work.

If it's not working, go the other direction. Joseph was in a pit. Joseph was in a pit. Did you say dick? Who said that? I thought you said dick. What does that have to do with anything you said Joseph was on a dick? How many of you could hear Air by his own brothers how many of you realize a lot of teenagers are in a pit put there by their own friends

But did he deny God? Blame the friends. Yeah, blame the friends. What if they're the problem? Blame the guy who sold me LSD behind the Texaco. My first time. I was definitely in a pit, but it was a different kind of pit. Did he sell his dream? No. How many know he went from the pit to being sold in a slavery into Egypt. He was in a person's house called Potapher and Potapher. Potapher. Now this just all sounds made up. Potapher. I've read the Bible at least four times due to a contractual oboe obligations with my grade school and high school.

This is what Potapher. You You mean pusifer? Potterfer. What? Her own Joseph, he bought him as a slave. How many of you realize that Potterfer bought Joseph and Joseph became the most important person in Potterfers house. And to one day, Potterfers White said, why don't you go to bed with me, handsome young man? 18 years old. Ooh, I'm like in this story. Never heard of before, but it's interesting. Now you got me.

Now you got me. Now I'm interested. All right, tell me more. So 18 years old, here can this older lady saying, come on, come on. Why don't you go to bed with me? Come on, come on, suck my balls. Give me a hand, Shandy. Now the woman was asking Joe.

I know. Yeah, she's like, come on, come here. Come on, come to bed with me. Put a spitter finger in my butt. If Joseph was up against the wall, if he yelled for help, she could lie. If he went to bed with her, it was wrong. They could do it against the wall. What did he do?

What's that? They could do it against the wall. They probably were doing it against the wall. She was asking him to talk to him. In Bonapur, Pusafer, Lucifer, they were all hanging out together. This is just an early version of sister wives. That's all that is. Brother Husband.

Brother Husband. Up against the wall He didn't compromise he didn't give up How many remember she she yelled out and framed me and how many know he she told everybody that he tried to rip her clothes off And how many know Joseph didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve it, but things just like I was accused Recently a for a faint woman's clothing oh ripping a woman's clothes off. I was framed. I didn't do it. A propane of woman's clothes. Oh, ripping? A woman's clothes off. I was framed.

I didn't do it. I was up against the wall. I had my branches and the stuff, the wall and the well and that shit. You know, potter fur. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ice cream. What about potter fur?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. How many of you heard the allegations recently? He does keep asking. Yeah, that I rip. How many of you heard the allegations recently? He does keep asking. Yeah, that I've heard. How many of you have been trying to sleep with your preacher's wife? Potter fur. How many of you realize that potter fur also did something wrong? And he was wrongly accused.

How many of you believe me? Happened to us, we don't deserve. How many realized sometimes tough things and bad things happen to good people? Why are we all yelling? We're yelling. Also, if you're doing cocaine and getting drunk, I don't know that you don't deserve like to not hold down a job. Listen, you can't say that. I don't deserve it. All I want to do is sit around and do coke and drink all day. That's right. Yeah, I'm doing blow. I'm cheating on my wife. I'm drinking. I'm addicted to the beer.

I don't deserve this bad. You know, I don't deserve this. It's just like Potterfer. This is for a might be a Potterfer. And I'll go back to a Potterfer. Fucking Potterfer. Fucking Potterfer, let me in the house with this hot ass wife. I can't go anywhere because I'm a dented slave. I got the tree branches and the trunks and the well. I'm ripping clothes off.

I don't know. Well, I'm ripping clothes off. I don't know. I was. She said, when I was a child, I was molested. I said, how do you, it wasn't your fault? Who? Who said that? Did they skip?

Yeah, no. I didn't do anything. I just press play. Like I normally did. Of course, that doesn't mean much. We've gone to molestation. Somebody's telling them about, they get molested? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. How many realized Joseph was put in the prison? Joseph was put in the prison. How many believe it'd be a bummer to be put in the prison when you didn't deserve anything? You're a bummer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a bummer.

As guys who are like, you know, falsely accused of some to spend 20 years of their life in jail ask a that's a bummer bummer dude Bummer dude sorry about your 32 years of incarceration, but cool. You're out sweet Sweet cool. What's that? That's a telephone you never seen one of those No, man, that's a television. It's like where pictures move and stuff. No, you don't remember that? No bummer bummer, dude You got lots to catch up on. What's that straight into our retirement home? You lost the best years of your life bummer, dude

What's that it was cuz you were falsely accused of raping somebody bummer, dude bummer. I have you ever heard the story potter for I'm gonna make you feel a little better. Just do. But while he was in prison, everything he did, prospered. And the Bible says God was with him in the pit, in Potterford's house, and in prison. And they put Joseph in charge of all the prison. And how many remember?

What a great day for Joseph. Sorry about your false incarceration. Hey, you can't just throw all the prison. Yeah, but you can throw the prison. That's cool, all right? Bummer about all those false accusations, but not your in charge of the lunatics. Everything you've done here is prospered.

You did that little arts and crafts thing. Remember you planted a little tomato seed? Look at that, you got a whole tomato plant grown over there. I mean, I know present sucks, but you got a tomato plant. I'm working jazz for. Oh my God. Bummer, dude.

Bummer. Oh, pot of fur, pus of fur, looser fur, and the power. Go Google it. The power, if you want to see the whole video, it's about an hour and a half long. If you can sit there, if your ears can handle all the screaming,

it's like an episode of the commercial break. It's just very loud in the reactions. For sure. All right, well, now that I have to spend half the episode on my high horse about influencers, I'm gonna ask you to go help us be influencers. youtube.com slash the commercial break. We would love to get to 5,000 subscribers. Do us a favor. Go to

I sound so pathetic. 5,000 subscribers. Of course we would add any we would die for 5,000 subscribers. So youtube.com slash the commercial break, please go there and subscribe to the commercial break YouTube channel. It's all about perspective. When you have one listener, you'll take two. When you have four, you'll take eight. That's just the way that it is.

So we'll take 5000. We certainly would appreciate it. youtube.com slash the commercial break. Fully edited episodes. The same day they air here on the audio feed. Ish. Ish. It's Pot of Firstfall. It's pot of first

fall. It's pot of first fall. Morgan does a great job with those videos go check them out at the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on TikTok. Follow us all those places and make sure you go to TCBpodcast.com www.tcbpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video right there, one location for you to digest. And some of you are. We just got an Instagram message from a lady we've been talking to for a long time. Trucker friend of ours.

She has now listened to the entire catalog twice. I know. It's insane. You go, girl. You go, girl. She's making a bunch of memes about us. We'll put them up on air. tcbpodcast.com to get your free

Sticker. What would Frankie do drop us your address and we'll send you that sticker also 855 Tcb8383 that's 855 Tcb8383 toll free from anywhere in the world questions comments concerns and content ideas. All right, Chrissy I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. So I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best for you. Best for you. And best for you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead