The Commercial Break - Buy High, Sell Low!

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

If you learn anything from this show (you won't), let it be to never take Bryan's real estate advice. If there’s one thing we’re gonna do it’s YAMMER Send us questions for Bryan’s mom Twitch streamer Kai The internet is a fad Bryan’s slow on the jump Buy high, sell low: lose money like Bryan Green! What are the hot young people doing for dating shows? The Cut The intensity! My girl can clean a chicken bone “I’m low key illiterate” It’s about my spirit, Krissy What is woke? Grunberg round 2 We’ll definitely be getting back to this LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If that's a veiled criticism amounting me, I won't hear it, and I won't respond to it. On this episode of The Commercial Break... I also buy real estate at the most expensive times, and I sell it at least expensive times. I'm just not very good at this stuff. I'm not a sucess. I'm buying high-salt. Buy high-salt, and that's the Brine Green real estate way. You too can be a millionaire! You too can lose a million dollars just like Brine Green. And now for 1999 plus 99 shipping and handling, you too can lose a million dollars in real estate.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. starts now I give you a nugget you take a crumb and lock it as a kid and welcome back to the commercial break I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and wonderful co-host Kristen Joy only best to you Chris Bestie Ryan best you out there in the podcast universe. I Think we had the most perfect bit of internet ever I think we had the most perfect bit of internet ever given to us by a review on Apple. It's like a perfect piece of internet. And let me, let me paraphrase, because I don't have it right in front of me, which I probably should prepare for the show in some way, shape or form.

But, you know, hey, it's a commercial break. You take what you got. Yeah, don't mess with that. You guys want me to go through all this effort? No! Join me on Patreon. And that's the end of the show, join us on Patreon! One of these days that's what's gonna happen. Which is gonna lose all our sponsors and we're gonna open up the show to say, go to Patreon

and then close the show. So this guy wrote a review and I thought it was pretty on the nose, but at the same time it's ridiculous. He says, gave this show a try. Too much talking, back and forth and back and forth. All that yammering too much for me. And I'm like, wait, hold on one second, you came to a podcast, which is mainly an audio format. In case anybody did notice, it's an audio format that doesn't show video. And what you want is

no talking whatsoever. There's two people in the studio. What did you want us to do? Not Yammer back in foot. That's the whole fucking point of TCB. But to me, it's just like perfect. It's perfect of... Yeah, he took the time. 2003.

He took the time to write that. He actually listened to two of us, decided there was too much talking on a podcast. That's... I can't take all this talking. I can't take all this talking. I'm sorry, I'm not sleep meditation podcast. I don't do ocean noises the entire time. But what did you expect out of a comedy chat cast? That's why they call it a chat cast. dumbass. But actually, I appreciate you taking the time to write it.

The one star not so much, but whatever doesn't matter. It's going to be lovers or it's going to be haters. And all forms in between. But I just said that I'm not going to be a fan of the audience. I'm not going to be a fan of the audience. dumb ass. But actually, I appreciate you taking the time to write it. The one star not so much, but whatever, it doesn't matter. It's just gonna be lovers or it's gonna be haters. And all forms in between. But I just, I laughed so hard.

I don't like 90% of the time, I don't get involved in comments on Instagram. I don't get involved in comments. Unless someone gives us, like someone said, we have a Instagram clip. We're talking about Frankie B. And Frankie B says, but I'm a pair of backs, black sacks,

and a black slacks, and a long trench coat. And you and I were like, trench coat, why would you put on a trench coat for your Tinder profile, right? Oh, that's that one where he was talking about dating profile. Yes, tens of thousands of views, many likes, and I think generally people take it as intended, which is it's just funny that Frankie's recommending,

right, but one guy is like, taking advice from two people in T-shirts on what to wear. Ha, ha, LOL, get a life, or whatever he said. And I had to respond, that's actually pretty funny, dude. You're actually pretty funny, because I actually thought it was funny. What are we supposed to wear? I don't know, we're not supposed to talk. We're supposed to dress up for the podcast I guess.

I don't know, I don't care. I really don't. I don't get upset. Oh, by any of those people. No, no, no, no, no. I see it as all part of the game, right? As do I. I take it in good fun.

Listen, if we can dish it, we have to be able to take it and I can take it. I grew up in a household with three other boys. Being constantly made, I literally have a hole that will never be filled in my soul because my brothers reminded me of everything good, bad, and indifferent that they found ugly about me. You know what I'm saying? Like every single thing, if I had a new pimple in the morning, someone was bound to be like,

what's up, Zid face? What's going on there? You're making my wife say Zid cream on there. What you doing? You're Zid walked into two or five seconds before you did. I mean, everything. Yeah. Hey dude, you got a boner?

I see a boner over there. Is that just one of those boners you can't control? Hey, Dad, Brian's got a boner. He's in a table. Hey, Dad, Brian's got a boner at the dinner table. Hey, Dad, that's how the table's lifting up a little bit. I think it's because of Brian's boner. Shut up! My dad, my poor fucking dad.

Shut up! Oh, yeah, I can, yeah. I can picture it now. Hey, thanks for the reviews. In any case, I'll take it. Speaking of my dad, my mom got some positive feedback about her appearance on the show a couple weeks ago. She was fantastic.

She really was. So I decided we should try this. She is like, she's a natural born. Part of the chat cast. Yeah, she's a natural born entertainer. Like she knows how to tell a story. I got my bullshit from somewhere. I got it from my mom, but she doesn't know it.

She just makes it up. And she can answer any question just by digging deep into her head and like just putting words together. Do you know what I'm saying? I know. She just understands how to string a yaw and she knows how to answer questions. So I was like, listen, you know what we should do? We should have mom back on and we'll have her answer questions from the audience.

I think ask Brian's mom. Ask Brian's mom. So if you have a question for my mom, go to the brand new tcbpodcast.com website and let us know that you'd like to get some advice from my mom. And we'll bring her back on the show at a different time. But she's definitely coming back. So many people were like, oh, no, Brian's mom is so great, Brian's mom. Also, a few weeks ago, I wanted to talk about this a few weeks ago, but I don't know why

I didn't, probably because because we got sidetracked Yeah, probably because I have a bad case of ADD This you know this This twitch streamer Kai, do you know I'm talking about this guy? Okay, Kai has like I don't I'll see how many people he has on his on his I'm not on Twitter. 6.5 million Twitch followers.

He's a gamer, that's what he does. Gamer and commentary, right? I've watched him as videos, I find the guy to be entertaining myself, but I'm not a gamer, so I don't get into like the gaming, I can't watch him. But it's huge, it's huge. Huge, he's like the most popular Twitch streamer out there, apparently.

So he announces that he is going to give away some gaming stuff, like some gaming equipment in a New York park on a day at a time. Please meet me there. Without ever consulting with anybody as to what exactly he's going to do. Yeah, and listen, so I just want to put ourselves in this situation for one second, but let me finish the story. So he invites people to show up at 3.30,

by 2.30, tens of thousands of people have literally shut down the street because they're all waiting for Kai to show up. And when Kai shows up, it is a total fucking shit, joe, pandemonium. Storefronts are getting looted, you know, not looted, but they're in this damage and they're jumping on people's cars.

It seems like generally the crowd was in good spirits, but whenever you put 10,000 people in a small space and you haven't exactly planned for that, like where are the toilets? Who's gonna do crowd control? How are you gonna get cars in and out of the area? There's a reason why event planners go through a lot of bullshit to make sure that someone doesn't get hurt

and everything runs safely and smoothly. And Kai just didn't, I don't think he understood exactly the power of his platform. In other words, he's been sitting like we are behind a microphone and a camera just talking forever. And if we said, let's say, let's give an example. If we said we're gonna show up on South Beach next Tuesday at 8.30 p.m.

and we're gonna give away Frankie B. follicles, right? We're gonna give away Frankie B's hair. This is my nightmare. Yeah, my nightmare is that 10,000 people show up and shut it down, but what's the reality? For us, the reality for us? The reality is we'll be standing on South Beach with a bundle full of hair, trying to give away to the locals.

Trying to give it away to my Venezuelan brothers and sisters. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes. That would not happen with us. I think our plus he's he's talking to 16 to 18 year olds. You know what I'm saying? We're talking to 25 to 54 year olds. I think they get less enthused about us.

Right. I don't think they got through all that effort. No, I don't think they got to sit and track. I got to I got to get in my car. I got to get dressed. I got to get in my car. I got to go somewhere and sit and traffic. Find a place to park and then walk 10,000 miles just to see Brian and Chrissy. I just turned on fucking YouTube. Yeah, they say they're okay pressing a button and listening to us for free, but to make any further effort past that. Yeah, I don't think it's gonna happen. Yeah, I mean, I always think about this.

We always go down this road of like, should we do a live show? But I don't think our listeners, I don't think we have enough of them in one location to make that make sense. We're certainly not filling any kind of auditorium. I think we know. Remember that, remember our friend, what was her name? Kimberley or something, she said, she wrote in,

asked TCB and she was like, have you guys ever thought about advertising? Maybe you could do a small tour of dive bars to get new listeners. I like that idea, the dive bar tour. I like that idea too. What if we went on a dive bar tour? I like that.

But we made it like a big fucking production, like a Taylor Swift Beyonce, but in a dive bar, like lights, fireworks, smoke machine, we'll pay Frankie B to show up, we'll have a live band, we'll have the whole night. Love your smoke machine. I gotta have a smoke machine. Yeah, we're definitely gonna have a smoke machine. Chrissy, if we ever do a live show, there's gonna be an abundance of fog

covering this ugly mug. You know what I'm saying? You'll just say you're I. I know. I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna get those like, Devo glasses where they have spring eyeballs but they have lights behind them.

I'm gonna get those. And that's how you'll see the guitar show is my spring eyeballs in have lights behind them. I'm gonna get those. And that's how you'll see the entire show is my spring eyeballs in the lights behind them. It would be like a creepy pink Floyd prop is what I'm gonna do. Tad down the wall. Tad down the wall. I think the dive bar tour is actually not an entirely bad idea.

I really think it's the best idea. Do we think that I'm smaller? I'm just smaller and the better. And I wouldn't even go to major cities. I'd go to like Savannah. You know what I'm saying? I go to places we just want to go visit. How about that? I know my friend has a tour going on the some dive bars of Charleston. That's right. Could I be the opening act? Yes. Could we be the opening act for something? It's a matter of fact. If you are also doing a tour of small city dive bars, let us know. We'll be your opening act.

Yeah. Can you imagine people will be like, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fancy pants place. I'd rather crack open a PB. Yeah, I don't wanna go to fancy pants place. I'm gonna play like that. What do like the Kennedy Center's gonna invite us to come to a show or something. The mat. The mat. The mat gala. But of course, I think they've lowered the bars.

It's a two-hours show. So up to the mat gala. So you never know, maybe one day we'll show up there. One day. But I think this guy, Kai, he really has captured people's attention. I applaud him, by the way. That's a fucking incredible. They arrested him with inciting a riot. Yeah. I think that'll all get worked out at the end of the day. No one got, I don't think

anyone got seriously hurt. I think there were a few people that passed out from heat and stuff like that. But and there was some damage done to buildings and cars, but insurance companies will take care of that. I think at the end of the day he'll work it out. It's bad press for the, it's bad press for the police, and it's not good news for him, so attorneys will work it out. He'll probably have to do some community service or something, but good for him. Like the power of the power of the inner webs, Chrissy.

The power of the people. You know, some people say the internet is not here to stay. I think different. That's a fad. It's a fad. Web 2.0. Clippy. Web, yeah, Web.2, as I call it, Clippy. That's basically what AI is right now. It's Clippy. That's bad Clippy. You know, I got these

threads like six months ago. And I'm not saying that I understand what web 3.0 or 2.0 or whatever they're calling it these days is I understand the theme behind it. Is that 10G? What's that? Yeah, 10G. 10G. Coming next. 10G, yeah, it's like putting a microwave right on your head.

Your eyeballs are gonna put. Your eyeballs will actually look like the spring with radiation coming out of your eyeball. You know, I get what people are talking about when they say like the creator economy and everyone gets paid for their creations and you know no more middleman and no more brokers and free information straight to your head and all that other stuff. But I think it's just really a hype machine that people are using to sell their shitty online courses on internet marketing 2.0 I know that game. I've been there before. You know your web flows and your funnels and all this other shit

But I have some friends who just they in the clubhouse days they went hey fucking Howdy-do about web 2.0 and NFTs and blah blah blah blah And I thought to myself, you know, I'm not very good at predicting any of this stuff. I honestly did think the internet was a trend when it started. And you had a DICTRACY collection. And I had a DICTRACY collection that I thought was going to be worth millions. And I didn't get a cell phone because I thought who's going to use that? Who's so expensive?

Who's going to use that? Like all that stuff. When I was a kid and all that stuff started coming out, I was like, it's all a trend. I didn't get on the bandwagon very early. I also buy real estate at the most expensive times and I sell it at the least expensive times. I'm just not very good at this stuff. I'm not a suit, sir.

Buy high sell. Buy high sell. That's the Brian Green real estate way. You too can be a millionaire. You too can lose a million dollars just like Brian Green. And now for 1999 plus 99 shipping and handling, you too can lose a million dollars just like Brian Green. And now for 1999 plus 99 shipping and handling, you too can lose a million dollars in real estate. We'll show you how to show you how. See that million dollar brand new brand new renovated home sitting on the corner of your street. Knock on the door. Pay them double. Surely

you're going to win. Thanks, little wake up. Down. Yes. You've renovated your house and ready to flip it? Renovated again. Why not? What's better than a renovated house? A newly renovated house.

It's renovated twice in the past six months. Oh, the contractors in the Chicago Metroland area will be making money, except for you. Oh. We've been laughing about the real estate for years. Oh my God, yes. It's too funny, because it's true. Uh.

You've heard a gentrification. This is bankruptification. Buy in the most expensive parts of town. Sp lot of money and then put on the marketing hit no Hit no business strategy that rarely works for with Brian Green's method. It'll never work Here indeed, yeah, where's real estate investor in the history of real estate investors Brian W. Green? That's it. Like that. Um, so there's not all these friends and they're talking about all this and you know, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da back there, but it all like fades into the background. When's the last time you heard about somebody buying or selling an NFT? Yeah, that was a crazy.

It was crazy. It was crazy. I just read this story about a guy who literally spent, he made millions in the Bitcoin craze, in the Altcoin craze, made millions. And he was a young kid. He was like 20 years old. He started buying up altcoins, including Bitcoin. It was very cheap. And then a 24, he found himself to be a young kid. He was like 20 years old. He started buying up altcoins, including Bitcoin.

It was very cheap. And then a 24, he found himself to be a super millionaire, you know, tens of millions of dollars. He then spent that tens of millions of dollars on what he thought was the next Bitcoin, which was NFTs. So he had this huge NFT collection of which none of them have made any money. Except the only thing that's kind of held its value

is the board ape, which I think is the most famous NFT that has been out there. Collection of NFTs that have been out there. So that's the only one that's still holding value. He's like, he was talking about one specific NFT that he bought for like $226,000. He sold it on whatever platform he sold it for for less than $2,000.

He lost $24,000 on one digital PDF. On a PDF. I'm gonna sell it at the point. PDF. I got lost $22,000 out of PDF. I mean, I know that's not exactly how it works, but I think there's value in the NFTs. I just think it has to do with digital rights management.

Like content that's already established. I don think it has to do with digital rights management. Like content that's already established. I don't think you can just go creating pixelated art and expect that it's gonna be worth billions of dollars. Yeah, well, and then with it being tied, I think Bitcoin and all the volatility with that sector too, I think it just never was able to gain steam past.

You sounded super smart there, and that was kind of sexy. I gotta be honest Kind of turned up I see the table Speaking of web duo web point two at web point two I just don't call it that speaking of web point two and web point three and all the new things You know, Chrissy We've done a lot of content here

on the commercial break regarding dating games, older dating games that have been on television at one point or another. We got, you know, all of you, know the all the ones. But I thought today, because I found this, and I think it's super interesting, I thought today what we should do is fast forward and be a little bit relevant to the kids out there,

and actually see what they're doing now in 2023. What are the dating shows now? Because you know, there are some on television like the Bachelor, the Bachelor, the Bachelor and the 11 Paradise and all that and all that and stuff. But that's more about the drama that happens. Reality shows. Yeah, there's a reality shows. Long drawn out, reality shows.

There's no, I don't know of too many transactional dating shows that happen right now. What I mean by transactional is like in one half an hour you can conclude what is going on you you know the i choose you to use me so what are the kids doing these days not the kids i wonder what are the what are the young people single people doing on some kind of media platform as far as dating shows are concerned and i found

a very popular web dating show called The Cut. The Cut. So without further ado, hey you, my podcast friend, I just popped in to say that you are the best part of TCB and to show our appreciation we want to give you a free WWFD sticker. It's the Whatwood Frankie Doe sticker you've been asking for. It's number four in our series of stickers and you get one just for being a friend of TCB.

Go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, tell us you want a sticker and drop us your physical address. Those FedEx men will be at your door post-taste. We want to hear from you, your wild and wacky stories dating disasters, ask TCB questions and now you can ask Brian's mom for terrible advice. Hey, I learned my terrible advice giving skills from someone and my mom is that person. 1.855 TCB 8383. Tall free from anywhere in the world is where you can send us your questions,

comments, concerns, or content ideas. It's a real live phone line where we actually respond. 855 TCB8383. At the commercial break on Insta and TCB podcast on TikTok. And please do me one more favor, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. Subscribe to that channel, Morgan does a great job editing the videos to be released on the same day at airs here on the podcast feed. Now let's listen to a word from our sponsors who keep this rambling wreck fueled up and ready to rock.

And then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. Chrissy, I was trolling on the internet. As you do. As I do like to do. And I'm wanted. So let me give you the, well, I'm going to let this lady say the premise of the game. We're just going to let them talk about it.

What do you think? I think let's do it. Okay. I'm gonna let the, the person who is now. We can't forget too about our, our naked show. Oh yeah, we'll get back to that. Yeah, goddamn, I wish I, Chrissy and I recorded this whole episode

about naked attraction. It's a real show. It's a real show. Over in Europe. Yeah, so I don't wanna get into it because we've explained it a couple times already in the show. But basically you pick someone based on their labia. I know. It's the craziest thing I've ever shared. I'm mortified and intrigued. All of the same time. It's hard to look away. It's an absolute train right here. You're dissecting.

You're on a blind date and you're showing your nut sack first. Yes. Imagine showing up here. You're on a blind date and you're showing your nuts sack first. Yes. Imagine showing up here. You're meeting with your nods. Imagine showing up to a blind date with a full hoodie over your face. And just not even your shaft, just your nuts hanging out of your pants. Like you pull up your shorts and just the nuts are hanging out. And you go, what do you think?

And you stick them right in their face. And you go, what do you think? How do those look? You like those? Harry, not Harry. You stick them right in their face. And you go, what do you think? How do those look? You like those? Harry, not Harry? You like them all crinkly? Or do you like something that sag a little bit more? You think we're kidding, listener?

But we're good back to you. We are not. Yeah. This is exactly what I'm having. And we're gonna do it. All right, here we go. But first, let's get to the cut. Okay.

From YouTube, here's a dating show. Listen up. Do you see yourselves together? The sash is throwing me off. I really hate the sash. I had a boyfriend who tried to do that, and I threw up. I did it. So my face is now.

You want to f***ing. I'm sorry. He's quick. Welcome to the button. Speed dating. Hold on. OK. When the button lights up red, either player may press it

and swap out their date for a new person. Get out of here. If two people can last on a date for 10 minutes, it went in all coming from. That voice is someone in the, it's like one of the production crew. Yeah, but they ask questions to prompt it. I know it's so fucking weird.

Like it's just like, so you're looking at two people on the screen. It's a black screen in the background and there's just two people sitting at the table. Your lady is too big. Bye bye. And the button in the screen. It's a black screen in the background and there's just two people sitting at the table. Your lady is too big. Bye bye. Button in the middle. Yes, bye bye. Take a note, Zach somewhere. It is the weirdest, it's like this weird, disembodied voice that comes out of nowhere. So

here's the premise. Two people sitting in front of each other, never met, don't know each other, have no idea what they look like. They come into the room, they sit down, there's a button in the middle when the button turns red, and only when the button turns red. Someone can press it, and the first one to press it, kicks the other one out of the table, and someone else new comes in. What if they don't want to kick the person out? Then they just sit there and continue to talk, and that's when the disembodied voice starts

to yell at you. So just ask you questions. Okay, got it? Yes. Alright. Spence is paid. Second date. This is the back. Hi.

I'm Nick. Nick. I'm Liz. Thanks to you. Well, it's nice to meet you. Okay, tell me about yourself, Liz. Oh, yeah. I love you.

Don't be about to stop now. Worst question ever. It's the almost awful question. It's the worst question ever. Dude, you got to come. I've been asked at so many times to end different interviews or networking events and whatever. And maybe we find something that you like about somebody

when they walk in the door and be like, oh man, I really like that outfit. Exactly. Those shoes are cool. I like those bracelets. Nice labia. Something like that, you know what I'm saying? Pretty impressive.

Okay, what's your favorite book right now? My favorite book right now is Earthlein. I think it's based in South Korea. Well, I'm not Korean, so I don't know much about South Korea. I'll be honest with you. Well, I'm not Korean and I don't like Koreans. So goodbye. God, and this guy's Asian, so I think he was taking a friend

that's not her saying that. This is like, I understand why young people right now, like dating drives them fucking crazy. Can you imagine? There is no nicety about this whatsoever. There's no pleasantries, there's no nothing. Immediately, you're just judgy, judgy, judgy. Well, yeah, because that's what you get online.

You show them into pictures. Yeah, they're so good of yourself, and then people judge you on that. We are so conditioned. Chrissy, I don't know that I could do this. No. I couldn't do this. No.

I mean, unless I had to. We would have just have to end up together at that point If I never found Jeff you'd never found Astrid. Yeah, we'd have to end up together It'd be a sexless, loveless marriage, but It's not what most people are going through Isn't that what marriage is sexless, loveless, lifeless? Not mine to Astrid though. I do love her. No, and Jeff and I have a great marriage, but what I'm saying is... And Jeff and I have a great marriage too.

You two guys do. Instead of Astrid and I love that. Yeah, that's true. I get it. I get to a promise. I was really love tattooing. As you can see. I want to be a tattoo artist one day.

That's the whole goal. Would you like to see my chest tattoo? Do I have to see? Would you like to see my chest tattoo? No. No. Why, you don't want to see your tits on the first day? I don't care? Would you like to see my chest tattoo? No. No. You don't want to see your tits on the first day. No, I don't care what sex you are.

We're not on naked. A attraction. A attraction. That's another show. That's another show. Yeah, go on another show. Dude, get to that show. I think he's just trying to get his five minutes of internet fame here.

I don't really get to show it off that often. Okay. But. Did you see that tattoo? What is that? Did you see that tattoo? What is that? Did you see that tattoo? A black hole?

No. It's a literally, look at that. It's a fl- wreath, a flower wreath with a bald eagle with its wings spread, like, you know, America. And then down below is a big old pirate ship. Yeah. And it is literally covering two-thirds of his chest. What is going on?

Oh, my knobby. They have those cosmetic tattoos now. Oh, yeah, they do. Yeah, and it is literally covering two-thirds of his chest. What is going on? They have those cosmetic tattoos now. Oh, yeah, they do. You think he did this for the show? Maybe I already just like this guy But I'm tired. Yeah, I see that you have tattoos now. I didn't notice that. Yeah, but yeah, I don't get to show that one that off that If you're just out there eating grass all and that sucks too is that the disinvited voice then the throws a wrench into it. Nick described you exactly as a person he would never day. Talk amongst yourselves. Every day. Talk amongst yourselves. I think. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Yeah. Nick doesn't like black hair, brown eyes, lipstick, or you. Duck. Ha ha ha. Hey, what am I going to do? Yes, you don't like vegetables?

No, but I'm just looking for a girl that can eat a chicken bone like clean. Oh, I'm going to. Like one bite. Oh. So they both went to go press the button as fast as they could, understanding that they don't like each other, but he pressed it first, so she now she gets kicked out. Nick is looking for someone who can eat a chicken bone clean.

Clean, yeah, you know, normal stuff. You look like for someone of like, I'm looking for like good character. Yeah, kind heart. Someone I'm attracted to. I'm gonna say animals. Yeah, we have similar common interests in my sense of humor. Sense of humor.

I never once has been cleaning a chicken bone, been a prerequisite to dating me. My girl, being a chicken bone. I knew you was good old girl. Yeah. I knew you was good girl. I knew it. I knew from the moment I saw you you suck that chicken from dry. Hey, what's wrong? Why you ain't been talking the last five or six minutes? What's

that? All right, we'll fuck you too. I'm gonna leave this room and leave you with... Can we get medical personnel, please? I'll be real with you. I'm not big into the reading. Okay. I'm low key illiterate. That's okay. So sorry, though. All right.

Dude, that's a, that was mean, then, because he said, what book are you reading right now? Yeah, he's like, you got it. So then she answered and then he goes, I'm not that into that. I'm low key illiterate. Now, illiteracy. It's not something to make fun of. Or to brag about. Yeah, why are you leading in with that?

Listen, I don't like words all that much that complicate the situation. So you're out. So if you're learning them, I don't want to be a part of your world. But here, can you take this beef tomahawk and stick it up your ass? Yeah. A reading thing, starting me off. The reading thing is turning me off. Jukering any contest? That gives me a man boner. Pleasure. Mark neck.

Curriculars. Yeah, thank you. Bye. Bye. She doesn't say thank you to the brand. She said hi to the imaginary voice floating around in the studio. Thank you. This in the studio. This is a very simple premise, but it's wild

because it's obvious. Some people just don't know how to act. They just don't. In front of other people. In front of other people. That's the problem. Racking. What's happening?

I'm Nick. What's up, Nick? What's your name? Jupiter. Like the act, you're actually the name that's in the planet. Yeah, I'm actually a planet. I don't think I've ever met somebody named Jupiter or a planet.

It's actually my alter ego. Is there a reason? So there's a time in my life where I felt like I didn't like that version of myself. So I recreated a new version of myself and I named her Jupiter. Wow. This is what happens when you follow Instagram models who give you like advice.

I like a planet. Yeah, you like a planet spinning around the sun. Change your name and your driver's license number. Move to Hawaii, but don't move to Hawaii yet because that's too soon. Move to Hawaii later when the real estate v Hawaii yet because that's too soon. Move to Hawaii later. When the real estate vultures are sucking up all the land, your new name is Jubini. She's going to hate this video in 20 years for that.

She's going to be like, God, damn it. My name is Darleen. That was my Jupiter face. That was my Jupiter face. But I decided I didn't like Jupiter either. So I asked Darleen if I could come back. She said, okay, I guess so. What do you feel about tattoos? I'm scared of needles. You're scared of needles, but are you open to the idea of getting a tattoo one day? Do you want to see my chest tattoo? Not really, but go ahead. Not really, but go ahead. Not really, but go ahead.

Yeah, you're gonna do it anyways, dude. You've gotta make sure that you show everybody in the world your chest tattoo. You didn't even realize you had. Oh, she snapped that button quick. Wow, he was lifting his shirt up and distracted. Good for him. He hit the button.

Yeah, nice. I may her. He hit the button. Yeah. Nice. I may not love Jupiter's new persona. I was in love with the old one, but I like the way that she did that. Yeah, that was a good trick. How stupid. I just feel like you're not my type.

Okay. All right, bye. I knew that. I knew that. I loved our conversation. How did that feel, rejecting somebody? Powerful. Nice to meet you.

Oh, this is like a social experiment a little bit if you think about it. She says powerful. It is a little powerful to have the ability to just kick someone off a very famous YouTube show. Oh, we asked you at the same time. It's not like a sign. And you don't have to go through the whole thing

of like ghosting them. No. You just go some there on YouTube For everybody to see yeah It's terrible What's the rings on you? So every time I go out I try to find like a new ring so it reminds me of like where I've been The only tattoos. So it like reminds me of how much money I have on my dad's

Every time I go out. Yeah, every time I go out, I try and buy a new diamond. I see, I see going on a trip. No, Chrissy. I don't like that. I'm just going out for the night. Chrissy, you're looking too much into it. It's like literally about my spirit. Everywhere I go, I go shopping at ring places

and that way I'm connecting with nature. I'm sorry, Jupiter. Well, you need my dad's MX for something because he literally doesn't care. I don't, you have a tattoo. I do have a couple. Do you have one on your chest? You wanna show us?

Me? Is that appropriate? Do you want to say? Sure. Yeah, I got, it's all a little pure. And then I got these. Oh, I like them. Yeah, so this is my mom, my oldest brother,

my middle brother and me, and they're just some Eva birds. So in Hawaii, like when they fly by, it's kind of like what it is. Deferred the other attractive. I think he's... I gotta think about it. I just don't particularly date Asian men. Oh, snow!

Why not? Show your racist side, Jupiter. You just change your name later. Come on. Wow. She went there. She went there. Yeah, she just went ahead and went there.

Geez. So it's like not that you're not attractive. It's not in my legs. Oh, you got my ass. She hit the button again. Well, isn't it kind of though, like, I mean, come on, let's think about this. Family feud. I mean, it's whoever gets the button first, quick, you know?

Yeah. Like, it's kind of instinct that you want to hit the button. Of course. I think it would be hard to not hit the button if you really liked that. Really? Oh, because you don't want them to reject you. So you want to hit the button first. Well, and it's just instinct. It's the instinct of just to hit the button.

Well, I don't sit around the house playing family feud. So I don't know if it will be instinct, but I get it because if I sensed that somebody was not into me, like we were not vibing, then it's a good competition to get their first. Yes, competition to get their first. That's right. But saying the words, I don't normally like Asians and then hitting the button. Yeah. I don't know Jupiter. She could have used a PR person in that moment. Hey, Jupiter.

We can just change your name later, but you probably shouldn't say that and then hit the button, give it a few minutes. That was so smooth though. Did you see her hands just like? I did, I did, I see that. What was nice to me? Yeah, I was so sweet. That racism was so smooth.

Did you see that? She's so hot. I'm really tired. Did you see that? Shut up. On the other side. Thank you, Dylan. Okay, so now I need to mention that this is not the only scene that they will show. There is a background area, like a backstage area, that all the guys in the green room, like a green room, that all the guys in the girls are hanging out at, and occasionally

they'll cut away to see what's going on. Oh, I'm so attractive. Alright, thanks a lot. She didn't know when you were, she didn't know when you were getting to know her. She didn't know when we go out of the sand. Man, she did like Asians. No, so she said, huh? She said, I'm trying to enjoy it.

She did like Asians, huh? That's what she said, huh? You were in the room. She said it to you. If someone came in, it said out of like white people. I mean, and I was the only white guy in the room. I'd be like, oh, well, I guess we're off on the wrong foot then. I mean, like, it's okay, right?

Everyone has a tight black show. Hi, nice to meet you. Hi, nice to meet you. My name's Joaquin. Joaquin. Do you two believe in God? I have really kind of radical beliefs about that. I like to hear them.

Okay, I think Satan created the garden and Jesus was the serpent. Whoa. I agree with Jupiter, whoa. Okay. You all are being legitimate assholes. How in the world do you lead with that? How do you lead with that?

But I guess it's good that he led with that because you know, he's good. The Los Angeles Police Department can identify him from now on. Did he say that Satan built the garden? And then Jesus was the serpent? He said that. Oh, that's an interesting twist on this story.

Yeah, just flip it. Okay. Wait, what? I'm sorry, I think you're pretty, I just, maybe, maybe not all the way in my type. It's okay, you're not my type. Really? Is it the glasses? Did, it's just everything, babe.

It's fair. Did it go off? Yeah, she hit it. Oh, okay. He hit it, and then he- I think she was so taken aback, she didn't even reach for it because she was stunned. What do you say?

Well, first of all, I think the average age of someone on this show is 20 years old, 20 to 25 years old. He looks 62 years old. He shows up with glasses, a three-piece suit, and says that Jesus was the devil, essentially. And she got taken. She was taken aback.

You don't have to kid. Hello. Good afternoon, or anything? Jen, nice to meet you. Jen? Jen, what's your name? Joaquin. Can you spell your name. Walking this week. Can you spell your name?

J-E-N. I knew J-I-N. And it's last. Yeah. Would not like my first name. Jenny Ta. Spell that. Well, I'm a literate, but J-I-N and I.

Wrong. OK, can you spell it? A literate is a thing. Yeah. Do you have to be a literate to show up on the show? Is it just a show for people who don't read? First of all, second of all, I don't want to make one of people's appearances, even though I do that all the time,

including my own. But is this girl, did she just get 500 CCs of silicone injected into her lips? I have never seen lips stick out so far. Well, they have it into the lips and have it into the chest. Well, I didn't want to go there, but I think what was, I think it's leaking from her boobs into her lips. Well, my name, Joaquin, you said W a W a when have you ever seen Joaquin spelled with a W. Oh, does that the W sound?

Chrissy words. So fucked. Oh, you're so beautiful. Okay, I am. Was it right? No. Okay. So what do you do for work? No, it's funny is No, it's funny. I actually am in between jobs right now I used to work for my dad mowing the lawn, but now I'm doing a dishes for my mom. So what do you do? I'm writing a religious book Yeah, I'm writing a book on Jesus was Satan It's all the rage and you and you I mainly go to Miami and It's all the rage. And you? Yeah, and you? It's a... I mainly go to Miami and model.

Going on a work trip for about a year, starting pretty soon, it's like journalism. And where are you going? In the Middle East. Yeah, and two weeks I'm gone. I'm gone to another planet. I'm a literate, but I'm in journalism. Yeah.

I can't spell Jenny. I can't spell Jenny, but I'm going, it's kind of like journalism. What is kind of like journalism? And I'm leaving in two weeks for a year. So nice to meet you. Would you like an all expensive, paid second date with me? You can just ride my mustache and we'll call it a day. What do you think? Planet.

Like in Middle East? Yeah, it's another planet basically. You can just ride my mustache and we'll call it a day. What do you think? Planet. Yeah. I mean, middle east. Yeah, it's another planet, basically. No, okay. I'm holding back saying some wacky stuff, but yeah. So, like, do you know anything about the rest of the world? Or are you just like super American then? Should I be offended right now about this?

No, I'm a woke or something. I'm like, what do you mean? I'm awake, actually. I'm not woke. God. Are you woke? Is woke? What the fuck is woke? Not even the people who say what's woke and explain what woke is. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. What's going on? I don't know how the Middle East is like a different planet, but you know, like I'm- I mean, you can't even shake a woman's hand

in that part of the world. Did you know that? I didn't know that until pretty recently. So it's another planet. I think of this as well. Wait, hold on. You didn't know until recently that some people, some countries in the Middle East don't treat women

while, first of all, second of all, that is an absolute stereotype of all of Middle East that you cannot shake a woman's hand. I mean, most countries you might not be able to, but this dude, where is he going? What is he doing for journalism? I wanna know, is he going to research his Jesus in the Serpent Theory and write a book?

He's like, gnome, chon, skier, some shit like that. The guy is on the road, Jack Kerwag. He's gonna be a cool cat. Vincent, I'm normal here, is probably a little different what's wrong over there. I'm actually Bosnia, and I come from my Islamic family. So our realm is different from other realms.

Yeah, a complete different realm's planets. Yeah, I've also mainly dated. I've mainly dated like international like foreign women. It dated someone from Ukraine, it's someone from Brazil. International foreign women? Well, dude. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Are you looking to get your big break on an internet dating show? This is another Grundenberg. He is, this is the, yeah, what's his name? Brad Van Grunberg. You just say outrageous things. You just say outrageous things to try and get people's attention from Taiwan, from Poland. It was a pleasure. Why did you reject me?

I think we have different worldviews. I don't pleasure. Why'd you reject me? I think we have different worldviews. I don't think we've got... What'd you reject me? Was it the Jesus of Satan comment? I date porn stars? Or... Or anything else? Or Japan is part of the Middle East.

Which one was it? I'm a country-based. I'm the first illiterate journalist. Planet. I think you took that entirely the wrong way. So what I'm saying, I'm going to a different world, going to an entirely different realm that I've never experienced for no plot about. She doesn't care, dude. She wants to see you go bye-bye.

Yeah. Very grateful to learn about. Yeah, and that's the point. I hope you learn a whole lot. That's exciting. Okay, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Bro, what happened? I said yeah, I'm going to That's exciting. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome

Bro, what happened? I said yeah, I'm going to another world going to the Middle East. She's like oh, I don't think that's a different world She's like to me. Oh, you're only American you've never been to the world. Hello. Good. How are you? Jen nice to meet you. Jen. Yeah, nice to meet you No, Janita. Janita. Okay, an old 29 but I'm definitely a little bit. 29, getting up there in age. Check back in seven years on that 29. Something more serious. Yeah, I would buy you. Same, I would say. I dated a lot in college. No, how old are you? I'm sorry. 25.. Oh, yeah, how do you feel about younger guys? Yeah, I'm alone powerful to it But I'm just really like probably not the same vibe to be honest

Good for you did you got her? All right, we'll get back to this next episode. We'll get back to it. I got a couple it's pretty intriguing I like this actually. I'm into this. Because it shows just how different dating is from when we were out there dating. And the whole like speed button thing ties into instant gratification and all of that. This is speed dating.

Like, dislike. Like, dislike, that's it. Yeah, flip, left, right, whatever. This is speed dating on television is basically on streaming, is basically what this is, and I'm into it, because you know what? When you do speed dating, you cannot hide the bullshit. You're either going in deep or you're going in shallow,

what either way you're going in. And so far, what we've seen, it's not great. It's not great, dude. It's pretty, really. That's not great, dude. It's pretty That's right. All right, listen we have a brand new website our fourth one in four years But it's really good looking Yeah, thanks to my wife Astrid you guys know Astrid because she responds to every single email And she wants to respond to your email by sending you a Whatwood Frankie do sticker. Our fourth in the series of TCB stickers.

Do us a favor. Go to the brand new TCBpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. Learn more about Chrissy and I. Request your Whatwood Frankie do sticker. Request that my mom answered your request for advice. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. We take them all.

TCBpodcast.com, you can also dial us up, text us at 1-855-tcb-8383, that's 855-tcb-8383. When you text us, we respond. Somebody on the team responds, we will never sell your information, no one is interested in paying for it, so don't worry about it. Somebody's got to pay us really good money Chrissy in order to sell that information.

If I had good money, I'd be like, you know, what do you think? There's no marketer that's going to want that because what kind of demographic I'm buying. That's right. As they said in Moneyball, I'll do the deal if you fill my soda refrigerator for the next three years. I just watched that movie the other night. That's a great line. You know, fill my soda for the next three years. I just watched that movie the other night. That's a great line. You know, fill my soda for the next three years.

So 855-TCB-8383, questions, comments, concerns, concepts, ideas. You know how to do it. At the commercial break on Instagram. At T-C-B TikTok, at T-C-B podcast on TikTok. Ah. Ah. A couple days off now, we're back in the studio, but yeah, it goes.

Alright, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. Thanks so. Well, I love you. I love you. And best of you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye. Ah! I'll see you later.

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