The Commercial Break - Certified Ruffians!

Episode Date: May 10, 2024

Bryan & Krissy are Certified Ruffians, and you can become one too! Just pay $69.99 for our Certified Ruffians Course. Instagram entrepreneurs Hobby hopping! Bryan the rock climber Cocaine plans Let’s go roller skating Porno or Pacino! Old pornos or bust Mouth noises Stand Up Guys Throbinhood… Lemon Stealing Whores! Bryan, the pause pervert The streaming orgy OJ Simpson  Certified Ruffians Become a ruffian! Take our course! Let us know if you would come to a live show  LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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That it, mate? Quality control at the local biscuit factory. You're kidding! I know, your dream job. So, shall I give them a ring? Do I? Yes! On this episode of the Commercial Break...

I know, I know, I know I sound stupid saying that. There was a gun involved. And yeah, you got people pointing guns at each other. There was a gun involved. But it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that bad. I'm trying to apologize for O.J.'s misbehavior. Here's what I'm saying.

With his ruffians. Yes, I'm sure if you were those rapscallions, there with those loaded guns. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. It's two thirty in the morning! Oh yeah, guys again, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green and this is the poof of the show. Chris and Joy Hoadley, best to you, Chris and.

Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Another episode. You're welcome. Yeah, just don't wanna talk about anything today. What do you think? I'll just sit here and stare at the camera. We should do a meditation episode of the commercial break.

Where we say nothing, but we just play weird music. So you can meditate. We did the ASMR. Kind of. Take. Yeah. Our take. Yeah, that was a little weird. I wasn't in love with that episode. We did the ASMR. Kind of. Take. Yeah. Our take.

Yeah, that was a little weird. I wasn't in love with that episode. I wasn't in love with the final product of that episode, but that goes for about 469 of the 550 episodes of the commercial break. You know, I was thinking about meditation is because one of our Facebook friends, I say Facebook, I mean, Instagram friends, excuse me, one of our Instagram friends who's not really a friend or barely on Instagram, but they somehow started like their own meditation class that you can buy for $10.99 per month, where they do guided meditations for you. And so, and they were giving away a free sample, like go to YouTube and give, you know,

here are the sample. You need this daily. It's a daily meditation thing. And I heard it and I just was so disturbed by it. I couldn't imagine meditating to this voice. It was like, no, I don't think it. I also noticed he did meditation. Then he's now he's got his own line of candles. He's got his own course on how to be successful. He's like, you know, he's like one of these newfangled entrepreneurs that just throws anything at the wall to see what sticks. Yeah.

Just like the commercial break. Yes. Yeah. We'll do subscriptions. No, we won't. Live shows, maybe not. Merch. We'll sell stickers.

Coming soon. Now we'll give away for free. Merch two years later. But I'm just like so like surprised at how, you know, multifaceted all of a sudden this person became. And I'm not hating, I think it's a good thing. If you can make money doing this, then do it. The guy's got like 260 Instagram followers

and he's pushing it on Instagram. I'm not sure how much money he's going to make, but you do have to start somewhere. And listen, there was a time, like just yesterday, when you and I didn't have that many listeners. So probably today also, but whatever, who cares? That's right. You do have to start somewhere. I see this a lot happening now.

I see a lot of people are branching out and they're doing their own thing. Side hustles. A lot of side hustles going on. They're selling things on Amazon. They're doing the Facebook marketplace. They're building their own thing. A lot of side hustles going on. They're selling things on Amazon. They're doing the Facebook marketplace. They're building their own workshops. You can't make money with all of that. You can. And I guess if you do enough of it, you just see which one is working best and then you put more energy into that. You do literally throw spaghetti at the wall and see which sticks.

What sticks. Yeah. I just don't know that I have that kind of energy or time. Jared Lieberman Well, not with 30 Kids. Jared Lieberman No. Jared Lieberman And the podcast. Jared Lieberman Yeah, I don't even want to, like, I barely spend time with my children and I barely spend time in this podcast. What am I doing otherwise? I'm thinking about spending time with my children or thinking about the podcast. That's what I'm doing.

Jared Lieberman Or on Instagram. Jared Lieberman Yeah, it paralyzes me. Yes, I'm on Instagram, hating on other people for doing shit. There are some people out there, they are just type A personalities and they have to do it all. Get it done. You know who, I was talking with Alison Hare about this,

Alison Ritz-Care, who's a friend of ours, a friend of the show, a supporter of the show. And a friend in life. Yeah, and a friend in life, like a real friend. And I think quite frankly, this show may not have even existed had it not been for Alison, my wife and Alison, who really kind of pushed me to do this, so I would stop calling them and bothering them. Calling my wife. Sometimes we do that. We'll call from across the house. Hey.

We do that too. Yeah, it's so stupid. Somebody's upstairs. Yeah, it's so stupid. I can't even be bothered to yell, right? Was that talking with you about this? Remember the old intercoms in the house? I do remember the old intercoms. Yeah, now I don't see those anymore. Because you don't need them.

And you just call on the phone. Yeah, you don't need them. But I do remember the intercoms on the house. Nope, those were handy. Those were handy. And I know if I went into a house... Dinner! Yeah. Dada!

One of the front door in the hospital... Huh? A strange door in the hospital, the downstairs door. What? The spirits of the moment seem to be scared of the house door. Okay, I can't understand it, so I'm just gonna come upstairs. They never work, so you always end up just going upstairs anyway. But I always felt like when I went into someone's house with an intercom, it was fancy.

It was a fancy house. It was a big enough house that you could not hear people throughout the house. So you had to, you know. Okay. I don't know what he said, but we better go upstairs and see what he said. It was just a way to get people to come to you, is what it was. Because they never worked and they all sounded terrible. But yeah, I always thought they were really fancy. But I was talking with Alison about the fact, and she is exactly like this, like she is a constant pursuer

of new things. And I have that in me, but it's very measured. It's very measured, right? I'm a constant pursuer of new things that I can just look at for a minute and then forget about a minute later. Are you kidding me? We're such the same, because I'm the same way. I'm like, I'm going to do this. Do you know how many things I have bought in my life that I was going to start? Going to start? Yes. My closet is full. Crochet, macrame, guided meditation classes.

Hot yoga. Exactly. Zumba. It's my new thing and I'm going all in. Belly dancing. I think I remember your belly dancing phase. I think I do. Two or three classes. Aerial yoga. I think almost all of us are guilty of this at some point or another, not having to wear with all to see it through. But then I just think to myself. Buy all the supplies. Yeah, I know, me too. I jump in head first. I spend $10,000.

I got the skirt, the belly dance skirt, the shoes, the special shoes, I bought the glasses. You know, this show- I have balls of yarn. This show first started and I thought it was going to be a vodcast, like a video podcast, right? That's how I first intended it, way, way, way back when my wife started pushing me to do something besides bother her. And so we recorded them on video, just video. And I didn't even know about podcasting. I knew

about it, but I wasn't interested in it. Because it just sounded too hard to me. You know, the video editing sounded much easier. It's a fad. It's a fad. It'll go away. So, I swear to God, we bought a camera for $1,000. We bought a desk that I could sit at for $1,000 dollars. I bought Adobe the whole package, like the Adobe whole package, right? $199 a month or whatever it was. I didn't read the fine print and still today I cannot cancel Adobe. I am in a contract with them. I tried to cancel. They wanted me to buy it out. They were like, yeah, no problem. You just have $3,600

left. And I'm like, go fuck yourself.. Try to charge my credit card. Go ahead. Feel free. Wells Fargo's at limit, kid. And so, but there are people who actually go through with it. Yeah, they actually go through with it. You know, I always say to myself, which is probably a lazy man's interpretation of the world, I always say to myself, well, I tried it and I didn't like it, and there you go. Now I have to sell all this stuff on eBay, but you know, whatever. But I do know some people, Alison being one of them, that really goes in hardcore. Like she thinks she is a constant pursuer of knowledge and improvement and life and, you know, things. Like new stuff.

And she goes out there and she dives in head first and she swims the whole lap. You know what I'm saying? I drowned in the deep end. I jump in, I drown in the deep end. I come back up, get a towel. I jump in, I wade in the shallow end. And I get back out.

It's hard. It's hard to be a player. You know what I'm saying? And the older, I mean, the more years I get back out. It's hard. It's hard to be a player. You know what I'm saying? And the older, I mean, the more years I get, I want to refrain from using the word older because I do think it makes us sound older. We're actually not that old. But the more years I go through,

the more I pursue some of these, I'm starting to understand about myself that I gotta go the opposite door. I gotta look at it from differently. Let's go the opposite. I gotta go, I gotta look at it from differently. Let's look at this. Let's do a little research. Let's decide where is the easy place to jump into the pool. And then we can see if we can swim the whole lap rather than dive in the deep end, drown, spend $10,000 and then have no intention of doing anything else with it. What so ever. I can't think of how many, I was a frisbee golfer for a second.

I was going to learn how to rollerblade. I go into the Starbucks the other day. It's all my friends at the Starbucks. I learned how to rollerblade. I loved it. I learned how to rollerblade miserably, but I can roller skate like a son of a bitch. And now roller skating's back. Have you seen that?

Oh yeah, they have parties and stuff at the skate rink. Seeing videos of skating rinks here in Atlanta, they are jam fucking packed with adults. Kicking it, cool style, high steel. You remember? All skate, couple skate, speed skate. Right, you gotta get on one leg. I used to be really good at roller skating too.

I always thought I was gonna win those speed races, you know, like when you went to the school skate night or whatever it was. I won a few of those races and I always thought I was the fastest until actual people who knew how to skate got on there and then I realized that I wasn't good at anything. I'm just middle of the pack. But anyway, so I go into that Starbucks the other day and one of the girls who's there comes up to me and I don't know why she asked this. It's like the weirdest random question. She's like, are you a rock climber, Brian? And I was like, a what?

And she goes, a rock climber, like do you climb rocks? And I was like, I think one time I was kind of getting into it. I bought like a thousand dollars worth of, what do they call it? Yeah, belaying equipment or whatever, you know? I was gonna go climb Mount Everest. I'm scared of fucking heights.

I can't even get a foot up off the air before I'm pissing myself. But I was gonna be a rock climber for a second because some girl I was dating was a rock climber, right? Right. That was quickly and clearly the most unbelievably ridiculous thing I had ever tried. I thought I was gonna be a rock climber too

and I went to one of those walls, those indoor walls, and it was so hard. Yeah. I never went back. I know, and this girl that I was seeing for like a hot minute, she was like a professional rock climber. This girl could climb up one of those walls

in like 30 seconds, right? She was so good at it. And she encouraged me to just give it a try, and I'm like, I'm scared of heights, up to this. But I get to that fucking rock climbing place and I'm buying everything on the rack. I mean, everything, newest, best, because I'm so scared of heights,

I just want the best stuff to make sure I don't fall. And I'm telling you what, I didn't get five feet in the air and I jumped right down. And I was like, nope, I tried it, I'm good, I'm good. I'm scared. But this girl at the Starbucks is asking me, are you a rock climber? And I say, yeah, I think I tried it once.

Why do you ask? And she goes, you just look like a rock climber. You just like the kind of guy who rock climbs. And I was like, are you like trying to flirt with me or... I'm not sure what's going on here. It's kind of a weird interaction. And I said, oh, well, thanks. I mean, what do you say? Thanks.

No, I'm actually a chicken shit. Well, that means maybe that you look fit and... Yeah, I mean, I guess I look fit compared to who? I mean, I guess there are some people I look fit compared to. Have you seen this body? I'm in full dad bod mode. I mean, I think, I like a lot about me. I like a lot about me.

But it's so hard when you get older to stay toned. That's the hardest thing, right? And I said I wasn't going to say older. Oh, I was just going to say. So, as you put the weight and the years on, for every child you gain about three pounds of untoned fat or untoned muscle. I could flip those kids around all day long, but it just doesn't show. Anyway, whatever. So, I'm talking to Allison, I'm going to get back to the point. I'm talking to Allison about this, and I'm like, how do you do it? Like, how do you just go and just do all the things that you do and keep going? She does so many things. She got a podcast, I think it's Culture

Changers. She's, you know, doing the Zumba classes or whatever it is. It's not Zumba, actually. I wish I could remember it. It's like a dance. Yeah, it's like a dance class. She's teaching that. She's a coach. She's a life instructor. She's helping women who are struggling in their 30s to kind of get out of the rut and they have children and stuff like this. She's telling people about parenting. She's doing all these wonderful things and so knowledgeable about it. She actually takes the time to do the research like we don't ever.

And I said, how do you do it? I constant pursue it. I'm a true Renaissance woman. How do you do it? And she says, I don't know. I just, you know, I get interested in something, I really want to go for it. And I said, I get some interested in something and I really want to forget about it the next day. I feel like cocaine has ruined my brain because I feel like my impulsivity around wanting to do new things and capture new things and inform myself about new things feels like one big cocaine bender. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm making promises at night that I want to forget in the morning. That's what's going on. Cocaine has rewired my brain to think grand thoughts and follow

through on nothing. Yes. Because if anything describes a good cocaine bender, it's grand plans follow through on nothing. That is cocaine in a nutshell. You feel like you can conquer the world, but the next morning you realize, I'm still the same fucking moron I was before I started doing cocaine. That's just the truth of the matter.

What is the one thing that you tried, that you put down, that you think you should start up again? Would start up, could start up. Like, meditating I caught on. All that stuff, I kept with meditating, right? I kept with yoga. I kept with running. What haven't you kept up with that you would like to reintroduce? I don't know. I think I needed to introduce something new. Anal sex? I mean, I'm just saying, that's something you could just throw right in there. Bondage, BDSM. I'd like to get back into rollerblading or skating.

I really enjoyed it. We should do like a TCB skate night. We should. Yeah, for the people here in Atlanta, like rent out a roller rink and it'll probably just be you and I and Astrid rolling around. Jeff probably won't even attempt. He'll be like, ah, $20. Got to save some cash.

Sorry, Chrissy. Do I have to go? Yeah, do I have to go? I just spent $10,000 renting out this roller skating rink. He would go there and hang out. What, do you skate? He wouldn't skate? I don't think so.

We took the kids when they were younger and he did. He got out on the skates, but I was like a fish to water. I'd jump back in. I was like, I remembered my glory days. All came back to you. Yeah. And then poor our youngest Like teeter-tawtter

Very supportive of the two of them. No, but you got excited. You're did. You're like, I'm back, baby. I'm back. Queen of the wheels. I was like turning around, backwards skating. I'm back, baby. That's really what it was like. I could just see you riding around with some pink tutu on. I'm back, baby. Your neon, your neon roller blades. The wheels.

Yeah. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby.

I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I can just see you riding around in some pink tutu all night. I'm back, baby. Your neon roller blades, yeah, glowing in the dark. I'll tell you the one thing that I got into that I, I mean, I didn't quit because I was being lazy.

I quit because I had to. Like, I really had to. But I'll tell you what I would love to get back into is flying. I would love to go back and fly. I got so excited about that for a period of time. I thought it was going to be a pilot. I was imagining myself in like an F-16 flying around, like flying a Delta, five, seven, five, seven. I really had dreams there. Captain Green here. Yeah, Captain Green here. Meanwhile, my wife, the second she got pregnant was like, you cannot

fly anymore. You cannot fly. Please don't do that. I know that she had a heart attack every time I went out that door. I remember one birthday, she was like, you know, what do you want for your birthday? Like, it's hard to get you something because first of all, I don't need anything. But second of all, I just don't care like that much about my birthday. So I was like, listen, I don't know, I don't know. And I said, all I want, get me a couple extra hours in the plane. Like that would be great. Give me a gift certificate. Call up the guy, you know, my flying instructor, tell him I want a couple extra hours on the plane. She wouldn't do it. She would not do it. She was like, nope. I think she had a heart attack

every time I walked out the door to fly that plane. Yeah, yes. You've got 30 young kids. I know. And then thinking about it, I never had any close calls. I don't want to over dramatize what happens, but there were a few landings where I was landing it by myself and it didn't feel all that great while I was in the plane. No, the plane was kind of like cocked sideways. My instructor was like, whatever he was saying,

till down, till down, till down. And here I am like, ah, here I am terrified of heights. I get up in the air, I'm fine. But you know, when I'm like 15 feet from the ground trying to maneuver onto the runway, I'm like, ah, shaking all over the place. One day the instructor actually asked me, are you all right? I was like, yeah, what? He's like, I don't know, you seem a little off today. Yeah, I'm just shitting myself over here as you're turning on and off the plane midair. What are you doing? Stop it.

All right, let's take a break. We got more. Oh, we got a game today. We're going to play a game today. I'm so excited about this. Let's take a break and then we'll be back with more shenanigans. Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB. And you can

text us anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. Now I'm gonna thank G one more time that we have sponsors,

so thank G and more time that we have sponsors, so thank G and here they are. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I'm gonna share that I've been going through a difficult time lately with one of my family members. No trauma, no huge drama, just a difficult situation that I'm trying to navigate. It's times like these when I'm grateful

I've got a therapist that I can speak with. Therapy for me is the release valve. It's a place I can go and speak to an objective third party about even the smallest of details in my life. I've been using therapy for many years to help me navigate these difficult situations, but then to also work on some of the bigger issues we as human beings all experience.

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Get 10% off that first month. And we wanna thank BetterHelp for being a continuing sponsor of the commercial break. I'm Tanks and Atra. And I'm Investigator Slater. And together we co-host a podcast called Psychopedia, which is a true crime podcast infused with comedy, making it a crime-ity. Each week'm Investigator Slater. And together, we co-host a podcast called Psychopedia, which is a true crime podcast infused with comedy, making it a crime-ity.

Each week, Investigator Slater brings us a wild and thoroughly researched true crime case. I'm here to digest it all and react just like you probably are right there on the other side of the microphone. Somehow, I've got to present each case with the detail and respect it deserves while also cracking up at Tank's perfectly timed humor and thought-provoking questions. Listen to and follow Psychopedia on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. The regular season is complete and the ring is set.

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to talk to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. All right, tell us more about the game. You brought it in. Be funny. Well, it's just a little game that I picked up the other day. I thought it might be fun for us to play. I love the name of it. It is called porno or Pacino. Porno or Pacino.

Yes. I guess that's just, that's it. The instructions are in the name. Exactly. Porno or Pacino. Who said it? You have to say, yeah, the other person reads the quote and you have to guess if it's from a porn or from something Pacino said.

You want me to go first or you want to go first? I'll go first. Okay, you go first. Okay. Here, wipe your mouth. I mean, this is actually pretty hard. I'm going to say that this is a Pacino quote. Nope, it's from porn.

It's from porn? And it gives the name of the porn. Oh, well then let's see that. It's called Nothing to Hide. Nothing to Hide. Let me Google this real quick. Nothing to Hide Porn Movie. Nothing to Hide, 1981. Oh yeah, this is highly graphic.

I'm just looking at pictures from it. Wow! Alright, there we go. Okay. Kicked it off with a bang. I am going to fuck with you and I'm either going to use a porn voice or Pacino's voice. Okay. Are you ready?

Yeah. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna cut your cock off with a spoon. That was a weird accent. Hoa, I'm gonna cut your cock off with a spoon. I'm gonna go Pacino. It is a porno. Oh, oh.

It is from throbbing hood. Throbbing hood. Wow, they said that in the porn, huh? I'm not even sure I want to Google this. Throbbin Hood. Let me see. I'm sure this has got to be a gay porn, right? I'm going to cut your cough cough with a spoon?

Oh no, this is a 1992 Throbbin Hood. Throbbin Hood. I'm trying to picture what part of the board you would say that. 1992, Throbbin Hood. Throbbin Hood. I'm trying to picture what part of the porn you would say that. I don't know, but this part of the porn is not the part, or I'm sure he's saying that. Replete with porn images. Give it all to me. That's gotta be Pacino.

Or porn. Or porn. And it's, I like to me. That's gotta be Pacina. Or porn. Or porn. And it's, I like to watch. I like to watch? Okay, let me see this one. I like, these are, these are porns with actual like- Yeah. Yeah, these are old porns because they have actual plots to them.

I like to watch porn. I like to watch porn. I just Googled- I just Googled, I like to watch porn. I just Googled it. I just Googled I like to watch porn movie. To which open eye I said, join the club. Quantum physics. Oh my God. This is another one, 1982. Geez, these are old movies. Wow. Okay. All right.

Extremely graphic. Okay, here it is. Ready? I swore to protect him. Porn. It is porn. It's from Vampire Hunters. Vampire Hunters. Vampire Hunters. Yeah, that would be something I would go, hey kids, you want to go see Vampire Hunters at the Buckhead Theater? What do you say to that? That just sounds like a regular movie, doesn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, that's not a very inventive name. Yes, I am 18 years older. Oh, okay. That's an actual, that's not a very inventive name. Yes, I am 18 years older. Oh, okay. That's an actual, that's like a cartoon movie. Yeah, that's one of those hentai movies. Okay. All right. Your turn. You're a foxy mama. You're a foxy mama. That's gotta be a Pacino quote.

It's porn. It's porn? We've had porn every single time. Is this porno or porno or porno or Pacino? Do we shuffle the cards? It's from Saturday Night Beaver. Saturday Night Beaver. Oh my God, these are great. I love this. Oh, this is a romance film is what this is, Chrissy. Don't let this fool you. Of course it is. Saturday Night Beaver.

Oh yeah, Saturday Night Beaver. Look at the cover of that one. You hate Saturday Night Beaver. Oh, wow. A little champagne. That is another classic. 1986. Back when porn movies had to have plots. I think it was a legal thing, legal compliance thing. I think you had to pretend that it was an actual movie just with a lot of vulva in it. All right, here we go. Brian's turn. You got all my stuff right. All that dope.

Beth Dombkowski Ah, Pachino? Jared Sifton No, this is another porno from Pulp Fiction. These names are great. Pulp Fiction, I love it. Well, this has got to be the 90s, right? Yeah, this has got to be the 90s. Pulp Fiction movie. Well, now they just show me Pulp Fiction.

They don't even want to show you the real porn movie. All right. they just show me Pulp Fiction. They don't even want to show you the real porn movie. All right. Oh yeah, that is definitely graphic there. Okay. All right, next one. Oh, Pulp Fiction stars. Who's that? Remember that famous... No, nevermind. I thought there was a famous porn star that said it was nevermind. Okay, here we go. It's called making people feel good. It's called making people feel good. I can see Pacino saying that, but given the way that we're going, I'm going to say Pacino. Pacino!

Pacino, from which movie? Sea of Love. Sea of Love? Yes. That's what happens when you get to like Al Pacino's advanced age. There are so many movies that he was in that you just don't remember any of them. I mean, I can remember Heat and, you know. The Godfather.

Yeah, that's the ones I remember. Scent of a Woman. Okay. Was that Pacino? What's that? Or was that? Scent of a Woman was Pacino because that's when he says, hoah! Which is my favorite Pacino line ever.

Wasn't that when he was like a blind guy and he was sniffing women's panties or something? Scent of a woman could be a porn too, actually. Yeah, you don't have to change the name. Just say, Scent of a woman, part two. Scent of a woman could be a porn too, actually. Sent of a Woman could be a porn. Yeah, you don't have to change the name. Just say Sent of a Woman, part two. Sent of a Woman, part screw. Ah! Da da da da da da. There is something inherently defective in you.

Oof. Porn? This is actually Pacino. Pacino, okay. I wanted to go Pacino, but my instinctive... I know, it's so hard to tell. This game is actually Pacino. Pacino, okay. I wanted to go Pacino, but my instinct... I know, it's so hard to tell. This game is actually really hard because these sentences are particularly graphic, you know? And so, while a funny premise, I'm not sure executed terribly well. But this is from the movie Two for the Money, which is of course one of my favorite Pacino movies.

Who doesn't love Two for the Money? We have. Who doesn't love for Two for the Money? We have a watch party every Thursday, Two for the Money. All right, go for it. This sounds like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked. Oh, that's gotta be a Pacino quote. Is it? Scarface.

Oh, Scarface, there's another one. Okay, so now we got four good Pacino movies. He was in Scarface. Oh, Scarface. There's another one. Okay. So now we got four good Pacino movies. He was in The Irishman too, right? Yes. And The Irishman was really good. The Irishman was good.

Okay. A little bit too long for my taste. Four hours is, you know, it's enough already. You can have a break in between. An intermission. Are you a real doctor? Oh, poor. That is not.

That is Pacino. That is Pacino. In the very famous movie, one that we watch often around here, Stand Up Guys. Stand Up Guys. When is Stand Up Guys? I don't even remember that movie, do you? Stand Up Guys? Stand Up Guys is, it's 2012. I don't remember this movie.

Wow. I don't remember this movie. Wow. I don't either. It's got Christopher Walken in it, Alan Arkin, Julianna Margulies. We might need to have a movie night. Bill Burr. What? All those people who are in a movie I don't hear, I've never even heard of. How did that happen? Stand up guy. It must not have been a stand up movie. Yeah. I don't think it got much marketing.

We need to go brush up on our Pacino. Or porn. When in doubt, fuck. Oh, this has got to be Pacino. From? Scent of a Woman. Yes! Yeah!

Got it, knew it, did it. Okay, and let's see here. All right. Just, oh, this is the only, it's one of the only five lines from Pacino that every human being would know. Just when I thought they was out, they pulled me back in. Yes, Pacino. Yes.

But what movie is it from? Godfather 2. Godfather 3. Three. Three. Three. Yes. The worst from? Godfather 2. Godfather 3. 3. 3. 3. Yes, the worst of the Godfathers. But it was still good. I thought it was okay. I didn't think it was great. 1 and 2 are like some of the best. And you know what? It's become like a Christmas tradition now that AMC plays it for Christmas. I love those movies around Christmas and I don't know why. It's such a terrible movie to love

around Christmas. But whatever't know why, it's such a terrible movie to love around Christmas, but whatever. I don't want to get in my own personal and picky weird morality. Okay, go. I made Ralph fuck you because it makes me feel good. That has got to be Pacino. It is. Yeah. And is that from, hold on, let me see this. Is that from Scarface made it real funky.

Scarface? Heat. Heat, oh! Yeah. That is a great movie. It is. Okay, boys, go clean up that mess. Ha ha ha ha. Pacino. No.

Porn. Porn, and from Throbbin Hood again! I mean, the makers of the game couldn't even find another movie? They were so thin on porn content they had to start repeating the same movie? That's a cheap shot. What are they doing, AI transcripts or something? Okay. I don't think these cards were shuffled. I'm going to shuffle them real quick.

Okay, you shuffle them and then Edie I have it Check your panties. I'm just gonna go through my sound buttons It's a penis card that means it's time to get fucked This is crazy there's just a card with a picture of the penis on it. Oh, look at that. Porno. What does that mean? What does it mean when you get a dick card? Porno, and then there's a gun card that says Pachina?

Yeah, I definitely did not shuffle these, it looks like. No, imagine the surprise when I would pull out one of those penises. Wow, there's a lot of penis cards in there How many penis cards are in there? What kind of game is this? Who's this made by? Hasbro? Is this a Milton Bradley game? Who made this? Oh, it doesn't even say who made it. I know there's no instructions. So I know here's rules Oh, I guess I missed ace. Let me see. I'll review these rules. Rules, two to four players.

Each player is given a porno and a Pacino answering card. Shuffle the remaining quotation cards and place them face down. Okay, so these are the- Those are just like the- Oh, okay. It's like when you go to one of those Brazilian steak houses and you hold up the green. You either hold up the dick or the gun. One of the two.

How to play. There's two sentences on here. How to play. Choose someone to start on their turn. The player takes the top card and it reads a quote out loud. Answer it. Great.

That's a fantastic game. Wow. Somebody made money on you selling you this. Do you realize that, right? Okay. Okay, I think we got to keep the cards face down. Oh, there you go. Okay, there was just one that flipped over.

Gotcha. Sometimes I think he's afraid of me. That's porno. Yeah. What's it from? I like to watch. I like to watch. Is that another one?

Once again. I like to watch porn. Let me Google that. My wife's going to look for my phone and be like, I like to watch porn. He's like talking to the computer. I like to watch porn. All right, ready? Yes. You know you're not supposed to call me on this phone. Porn. Porn. From Debbie Does Dallas. Oh, a classic.

Probably the most famous porn movie ever made. Probably. Yeah, Debbie Does Dallas. That is a classic. You will see a lot of tits. There's not a lot of gratuitous. That was like the first movie that kind of crossed over into mainstream, the first porn movie, in my understanding, from all my research on that particular movie. Okay, here we go. Were your crimes victimless?

Porn. Yes. From which porn? Barbara Broadcast. Barbara Broadcast? That's gotta be a good one. You know what we should do? Barbara broadcast. What we should do is we should, the movie, we should actually break down like an old 70s porn movie and we'll flip through the graphic, more graphic parts. Barbara broadcast is from 1977. Jeez, I didn't even know they made porn movies for like, I guess. Yeah, there is zero nudity in that movie. There is zero nudity in that movie. All right, here we go.

I forgot you don't say much. Porn. That is right. From the movie, the movie we all know, Metal Rear Solid. Metal Rear Solid? What? That's an enticing name. Metal Rear Solid.

It's kind of weird to say actually. Metal Rear Solid. Yeah. Okay. Let's see here. Let's see if I can find an image here. Oh yeah, this is a classic 1990s movie where everyone is dressed. It's like a Mad Max movie. Okay. With a lot of dicks. Porn. Yes, with a lot of dick. Got it. Okay. Two more. Let's do

two more. I'm tired of those damn lemon stealing whores. Pacino. Porn. Which porn? Lemon stealing whores. Lemon stealing whores. Are we running out of names for porn movies? Lemon stealing whores? It's not supposed to be so literal. Lemon stealing whores.

Okay, you ready? You are in no position to disagree, young lady. Porn. No, Pacino. Guess what from? Scent of a woman? Scent of a woman! Hoa! Lemon stealing hoa! All right, that was fun for a while. Someone got $5 out of Chrissy. But good idea. I liked it. Twelve!

Twelve dollars! What? Twelve dollars? Well, they took the time to come up with it also. They took the time to come up with it. Open AI spit that out for them, and then they just sent it to the printer and said, charge $12. They went to a consignment shop.

Where'd you find this? Like in a trinket store or something? Oh, it was a little like said, charge $12. They went to a consignment shop. Where'd you find this? Like in a trinket store or something? Oh, it was a little like a boutique. Oh. Boutiquey thing. In Atlanta, here in Atlanta, right? Okay, all right, well, there you go. I don't think we made $12 on this episode. So sorry, can't pay you back.

You can't expense that, Chrissy. It's interesting. All right, we'll be back. We'll take a break. I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at The Commercial Break, and then follow us on TikTok at tcbpodcast. Done?

Perfect, thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB, or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story, or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCV. And don't forget to check out tcvpodcast.com because that's got it all.

Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? break. Know those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Sorry, I was checking on my pause game on Instagram. My pause game is strong on Instagram. Your pause.

Do you know what pause game is? No. Okay. So. Wait, I do have to say, just to continue on the porno or Pacino, it does say on the back, it's pretty funny. It says, battle it out with your friends to discover who is a movie buff and who news to step away from the tissue.

That's pretty funny. $12 charge 20. Why not? I think even a movie buff wouldn't know the difference. Those are such generic quotes. They're like random generic quotes. They're not explicit. There's nothing like, you know, I don't know. I get why, when I saw it.

This is a fun, easy game to play. Yeah, it's a fun, easy game to play when you're super high on some substance at your house. Yeah, drinking and all. So I would highly suggest you buy a used copy of this game from the commercial break for $13. Plus shipping and handling. Pause game is when you're on Instagram and you press pause

because there's something quick that you need to see. You know, when you press your thumb and it stops the reel. Well, no, you don't know that. What's that? Is that how pause works? I'm just teaching you, I know You don't know that? What's that? Is that how pause works? I'm just teaching you. I know you don't know a lot about Instagram, so I'm just trying to bring you up to speed here. But my pause game is on fleek. And I'm telling you right now, it's on fleek. I'm so good at pressing pause to find that little one moment in the thing. It'll

be like, watch here or see this or- I thought you meant pause like P-A-W-S. Like Paw Patrol. Like Paw Patrol pause. Thought you were playing some new game. Some new game with what? Little paws. Chopped off blue arms? Who am I playing with? Triumph the insult comic? I don't know what you're doing on there all the time. I'm not playing with my dog's paws. She'll never know it's me looking at this porn if I press pause with a pause. I'm going to press pause with a pause to keep myself out of it. I take my dog's paws wherever I go when I'm fingerprint scanning. That's how I opened my phone.

And when it came time to set up my fingerprint scan, I did it with Blue's paw. Come here, Blue. I want to look at some... I better not say that, she'll come charging in here and bark at us. Now, my pause game is like, you know, I'm pausing stuff on the internet. And that's the pause game. So your pause game has got to be strong. This mainly has to do with nipple slips, I think, is what really the pause game is for. It's like, you know, some tiddle fallout real quick, you just press pause for one second to see it. That's the kind of games I'm playing on my phone. I don't know what you're playing on.

I don't know what you're playing on your phone. I was being more wholesome. Oh, well, don't be wholesome. It's a commercial break. I wanted to mention that I watched the 30 for 30 OJ special that is now playing on Netflix. Now, I'm assuming this is also played on ESPN and that they've just bought, you know what else I saw was on Netflix? Now, I'm assuming this is also played on ESPN and that they've just,

you know what else I saw was on Netflix? Sex and the City. Here's the thing, I have no interest in Sex and the City, but what's so strange is that HBO owns Sex and the City, but you can watch it only on Netflix. Isn't that strange? Like, shouldn't it just be on HBO? I don't get it. I don't get what's going on over there. They're switching, swapping. It's a big orgy of streaming services. Well, they're all trying to make their money back because they're losing their fucking shirts and like Disney owns ESPN. And why wouldn't we have the 30 for 30 on ESPN?

But I watched that 10, almost 10 hours, I think, eight and a half, something like that, our documentary in four parts, five parts about OJ Simpson's life. And it was highly fascinating. You know, OJ just died, he passed away. We all have our feelings about OJ Simpson. I think most of us, I assume most of us assume that OJ had something to do with the murder of his ex-wife and Ron Goldman. But he was proven innocent in a court of law, and that's America, that's the country that we live in, and those are the rules that we live by. If you're proven innocent, you are innocent, because no one ever said so, even though he then wrote a book or, you know,

Ghost wrote a book called If I Did It. Yeah. He lost the civil suit. He lost the civil suit, and at that time, a huge amount of money, which was like $33 million, I think is what it was. And then he got sentenced to 33 years in jail for kidnapping and armed robbery in an incident that went down in Las Vegas that is described in the documentary as a rather innocuous event. Someone went in with a gun and there was some pushing and shoving, but O.J. says he thought his personal effects were inside of this hotel room. Like his- Like his trophy or something?

Was there a trophy involved? Trophies and old autographs and pictures that he had in a storage unit that he said someone stole from him and they were trying to be offloaded from this hotel room. O.J.'s people got a wind of it and OJ went in with some ruffians and decided to rough these people up. But they didn't really rough them up. They kind of, you know, there was a little pushing and shoving and yes, there was a gun involved, but all the people who were involved, I know, I know, I know, I know I sound stupid saying that. Yeah, there was a gun involved. And yeah,

you got people pointing guns at each other. But it wasn't that bad. Yeah, it wasn't that bad. I'm trying to apologize for O.J.'s misbehavior. Here's what I'm saying. With his ruffians. Yes. I'm sure if you're... Those rapscallions out there with those loaded guns. Upsetting people's sensibilities. Here's what I'm trying to say. Anybody else.

Can you be a ruffian deck? Yeah, you can be a ruffian deck. For two day court. $6,000, go to tcbpodcast.com. A ruffian, you can be a ruffian. A certified ruffian. Somebody ruffs people up. Jared Sussman Oh my God. I know it sounds so stupid when

I think back to why I said that. But here's what I'm trying to say. Anybody else had been accused and convicted of that crime on a first offense, which was O.J.'s first technical offense, right? Besides all that woman beating he did when Nicole was alive. They wouldn't have gone to jail for 33 years. They wouldn't have gotten sentenced to 33 years. They may have done a couple of years, maybe. But he ended up getting out early and then he died of prostate cancer very recently. But I watched that show and it really puts so many things in perspective. You know, I think I was just a young teenager when all of this was going down, the O.J. Simpson, the murders, but everyone was glued to their television because every minute of it was broadcast on television.

Before we had a million channels and streaming channels, too. Yeah, that's right. When the basic cable had 60 channels and not 600 channels. And the internet really hadn't taken off. Not really. Yeah, I think it was around, but I think not many people are using it. Yeah, that's right. And so, to relive all of that, interspersed with this commentary on the way that O.J. grew up in the

projects in San Francisco and how he was courted by USC and how he just became a part of this very wealthy aristocrat, mainly white society, and he really loved it, right? He was all about it. And he just, that's where he lived. He lived in the upper echelons and he didn't want to come back down. He wanted to be- He was a celebrity. He was a celebrity and he constantly needed the attention and he loved to live the good life. And then things went south after the murders of Nicole and Ron and how- Well, the good life included lots of cocaine and...

Jared Siffel Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicole Soule- Drugs and alcohol. Jared Siffel Lots of drugs and alcohol and a lot of incidents... Nicole Soule- Anger. Jared Siffel... physically hurting Nicole, some of which were never even technically reported... Nicole Soule- Yeah. Jared Siffel... because even the police didn't want to upset O.J. Nicole Soule- Exactly.

Jared Siffel. in this prestigious neighborhood that he lived in. And I say all this to say that it is a very interesting take on race relations in America, the O.J. Simpson murder trial in general, but then how the judge in the kidnapping and armed robbery case in Las Vegas really threw the book at him, supposedly as payback for being acquitted of the murders. But that's what some people's take on it is, right? This includes commentary from the original prosecutors, Marsha Clark, and not Chris Darden, he's not in it, even though he was kind of the lead prosecutor in that. And a lot of other people who were intimately involved with

that case and that situation and went down on both sides of the table, people who were intimately involved with that case and that situation and when it went down on both sides of the table, people who believed he was innocent, people believe that he was guilty. And if you have the time to watch it or rewatch it if you haven't, I highly suggest you do that, Chrissy, because it's a very fascinating look. Yeah, I saw it on Netflix and I thought, ah, I've seen so many different stories about OJ and so many different things. I think this one has been done better than any of them. Okay.

Yeah, including the FX1, the American crime story, the OJ Simpson. That was a brilliant, I thought, seven episodes of television. But this takes the cake. It really is a very well-rounded documentary. And I do suggest you watch it because I think it's very prescient for today. And I hope that some of our listeners will go and watch it. I'll leave the commentary up to your own brain because I talk enough on this show as it is, and I don't want to be responsible for what goes on in your brain more than I already am.

Porn-o. Porn-o. Pacino. Porn-o. Pacino. Panties. Panties. Penises. Throbbin Hood. Throbbin Hood is my favorite. Throbbin Hood is great. Oh yeah, I'm going to go watch it. Yeah, when you showed me a little clip, it looked like there was a guy dressed up as

Robin Hood. As Robin Hood. They were in the woods. Taking a girl from behind on a tree. That's how I remember Robin Hood. The Kevin Costner movie? Yeah. I forgot he did that.

Oh, what a terrible movie. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. I'm going to go watch it. They were in the woods. Taking a girl from behind on a tree. That's how I remember Robin Hood, the Kevin Costner movie.

Yeah, I forgot he did that. Oh, what a terrible movie. Morgan Freeman, Kevin Costner, and what was that soundtrack from Brian? What's his name, you know? Eno? No, not Brian Eno. Oh, Brian Adams?

I would die for you. Brian Adams? I would die for you. I would live for you. I would go fine for you. Anything I do, I do it for you. Alright. Okay, back with the good music. Alright, here's the thing. Merch drops soon.

Live shows coming in the fall and the winter. If you want to attend one, please let us know. It doesn't matter where you are, just let us know. Say, I'd love to go see a TCB live show. Or no, hell no, I'll never pay a dime. Yes. Let us know. Also, come on the show. Please do.

We'd love to have you. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Dial us up, text us, let us know you want to come on the show. Let us know what you want to talk about. We'll get in touch with you. Someone here will get in touch with you and tell you how to be on the show during recording hours with Chrissy and I, because news flash, this ain't live, just in case you're one. Just in case you couldn't tell by the 12 year old stories that we tell on the show. Also, we want you to go to tcbpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video, all the show notes, all the links to our guests' shit,

promos, all that stuff is at the website, on the website. You can also get your free TCB bumper sticker. Hit the contact us button, drop down menu, I want my free sticker. Give us your address and we'll send it away. Don't you worry my fine feathered friends. We'll get it to you. TCB podcast on tick tock, the commercial at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break. Go watch dinner with the parents. Check out Henry and Daniel are guests on the TCB and for mother show this week. We certainly would appreciate it. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast, porno and Pacino industry. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. Bye! He's back on the ground, boy!