The Commercial Break - CLACK! CLACK! ATTACK!

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

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No, that ain't they're a defense contractor. What is it they're really after? It feels like the C-O-N-Spiracy. Why would Lockheed Martin build a ballroom? Hmm, that ain't making sense to me. They build rockets, they build missiles. Now it's drinks, so why do you whistle? Did something sinister indeed?

Oh, I would volunteer wanna help build a ballroom. Oh, that ain't making sense to me. I just can't get down with Batman. You remember that sea from Batman? They're gonna build more surveillance technology. Oh, turns out Hitler also built the ball. built a ballroom. Oh, now it's making sense to me.

Oh, there's been the stuff hit the bed. That's the place that they all ran. And it turns out that Trump has the exact same plan. God! Damn! On this episode of the commercial break. Interesting. Yeah, well, now I had a friend tell me.

that the fans are the new glowsticks. Oh, really? For that for the dancers. Okay, that is interesting. I had no idea that that was a thing. All right. Well, keep your fans at home, kids. Click clack.

You click clack. Get back. Jack. Attack, click, clack. I don't know. I don't know what was going on with the fans. I don't know why they're being banned, but okay. There's a lot of people on the social media that are upset about the fans one way or the other.

Like, thank God they, I don't know. The fans are that big of a problem. Maybe they were, like, hitting people in the face or something. Yeah, they're probably whipping them open in people's eyeballs. I don't know. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Haudley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. I am reading a lot about the trends of the men in Hollywood getting the face surgery. Which one? Oh, we can name a lot now.

You want me to go through a little list here? Sure. Okay, hold on one second. And then, well, we all know Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell. Terrible. Have you seen Simon? I have not.

Oh. Terrible. I mean, that is just like he doesn't even look human to me if I'm, being real honest. Let's see. Who else? Tom Cruise has the best plastic surgeon ever. He's got to have one, right?

He looks fantastic. How does he look fantastic? I just don't know. Aliens. Aliens. Alien. Aliens. Aliens.

We've, of course, been talking about Bradley Cooper. Right. Bradley Cooper has done a number on his face. Now, Ryan Gosling is in the. mix. Not gosling. Yes, gosling. Let's look here.

Mickey Rourke. Well, he's been a mess for years. Yeah, he's been a mess. He was really one of the first men that I remember seeing with something bad, some kind of bad plastic series. Well, I mean, he was in that wrestler. It was shocking. It was shocking the way that he looked.

But it kind of fit the narrative. It fit the story. So you felt like, okay, run hard and wet and run ragged. You know, he's just kind of that guy. But, okay, we can, Mickey Rourke is Mickey Rourke. Yeah. But Ryan Gisling is Ryan Gossling. Now, I know Mickey was a...

You can't fuck with the notebook. It's just terrible. Yeah. Hold on one second. Let me see if I can. Ryan Gossling. He was in La La Land. Yeah.

And he is just a lovely human being. He is. He's a very handsome gentleman. Easy on the eyes. Lots of people are now pointing out that he has, Um, you know, he's got that altered. Yeah, he's got that altered look. He is messing with his face and people are not happy about it.

Here's the thing. And I agree with this sentiment. I forgot who said it. Where's Gosling? Let me see him. I don't see this as much as other people do. But, okay, maybe. Um, hold on one second. And I'll see if we can post some pictures of this on the video if you want to go watch it.

Um, yeah, I guess he's had face work done. Yeah. Yeah, something's going on there. He's going in that direction. Let's put it that way. Something's different. Oh, here it's more noticeable. Faces, puffy, cheeks are plumped.

That is a big difference. Eyebrows furrowed even more. That's a goddamn shame. Here's the thing, if you're good looking and sexy in your 20 and 30s, you're going to be good looking and sexy in your 40s and 50s. Like Clooney. I just saw a interview with him. I think it was CBS Sunday morning.

I love that show. Anyways, he was on there, and he has some deep lines on his forehead and some wrinkles and stuff. Yeah. Still so handsome. So rugged, so handsome. It's perfect. A great, great-looking guy. Harrison Ford is another example of this.

It's okay to get older. It is okay to get older. I have thought about this myself, you know, getting a little plump, but like a little Botox here, a little Botox there. And I got to be honest, like it scares the shit out of me. because I see these people who have had Botox for a very long time now on the internet talking about Botox and fillers and how it's just causing damage to their faces, their skin. Well, you can go too far with it. Well, now they're saying that Botox leaks into your brain and kills brain cells.

Well, I don't need any help with that. I did that in my teens and 20s at a rapid clip. Luckily, I had some despair back then now. I don't. I don't have any more to see. fair but listen you know uh i i have just have advice for the and who are the people who are advising them to do this is it a manager is it a girlfriend is it a wife is it a boyfriend i don't know you probably are so insulated in a bubble of just really uh self-absorbed people and that are

constantly changing and getting things done and improving improving and i got it yeah you're running in that circle maybe of they're doing it so I should do it and who did you use who's your doctor and then maybe the doctor talks them into it who knows yeah I am with you a thousand percent I totally understand that in that business you really have to take care of yourself in or I mean that's your face your body that is the thing that sells the show that is what keeps people coming to the box office but I think we're all adults and we can be aware that yeah Ryan Gosling is not going to look like that exactly like that forever you don't have to look at you want to be frozen in time no and that's what some of these celebrities look like they look like

they're frozen literally their faces are frozen i mean simon call is the worst example of this he has gone so far overboard that um he's not recognizable as a human i don't think uh did he also have was he in some kind of accident didn't he have was he i feel like i remember something about that I think it was his scooter accident. I think he broke his leg. Okay. If I'm not mistaken.

Had two significant accidents while riding electric bikes. Both came with hospitalization and he almost became paralyzed. Yes, I remember that one. He broke his arm in one and he broke his back in the other. Okay. So not the face. Yeah. But he just got so puffy and weird.

Have you seen him doing the dance down the Kelly Clarkson? show. Let me show this to you. This is shocking. Kelly Clarkson show. Okay. Let me show this. I'm going to ask dance. Is it the Kelly Clarkson show or was it the? Oh, well, the other one, gosh. What's her name? Jennifer Hudson. She does the day. She has like the dance thing. Oh, okay. That was it done. Okay, let me show you you watch too much tv no i just uh i just saw jennifer hudson on a another show the other day and she was talking about it here it is yeah oh wow is that is that not stunningly weird is that not stunningly weird he looks like an alien he looks like an alien now i can understand he might be walking a little weird because of the broken back and the bro and the hands but he's like

looks like a dinosaur clapping his hands and he's got a huge round face on this tiny body and this is like plumped with fillers. It is a trend that I am not interested in, not interested in at all. I don't want to poke at someone else's looks. If you feel like that's what you got to do, that's what you got to do. I am sharing that my own personal perspective is it's been taken too far in some cases. And some of these men in Hollywood, Simon Kyle was a good looking dude. Yeah. It's a handsome dude. Maybe he wasn't everybody's cup of tea, but, you know, He was the, you know, the smart-ass, whip-smart guy on AGT and on American Idol. And I think everyone could have agreed.

He wasn't terrible to look at. No. He could have just kept going that direction, a little grayer, a little older. A little more rugged, yeah. Yeah, a few more wrinkles. This is the problem. Yeah, this is the problem with Hollywood. And our influencer-obsessed culture is that now we're all feeling pressure to turn back the clock,

including some, you know, 18-19-year-olds who are getting. Getting Botox. That's insane. That's insane. You're too young. Thirty-five at the youngest. At the youngest. Just go through it. Go through age. You're going to get better looking. If you're 18 years old, you're going to be your best looking between 25 and 30. Guarantee it. Guarantee it. That's when God makes you the most voluminous so that you can attract a partner like the caveman days. Just tick up for it. Don't worry about it. And peacock. Yeah, peacocking all around. Speaking of peacocking, I've been keeping an eye on. and Mystery, who has popped back up, and he is doing all of these events where you pay money and you show up and then you get advice. The pickup artist? Yeah, it's wild. It is wild.

We'll have to do a show on it. I would love to if people would take video of it, but I think it's kind of like a closed environment. But here's the gig. Here's what they do. Him and some other dipshit pickup artist. They go online and they drum up a bunch of. and we're going to be down in Miami or Tulum or Hawaii or whatever, some far-flung location. We're going to rent a house.

It's going to be two of the master pickup artists spending quality time for seven to ten days with you. Just us in a house hanging out, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We'll eat together. We'll play together. We'll go do sets together out in the town. And I'm like, the only thing I can think to myself is you'll buy call girls together. I mean, that's what's going to happen. Don't bullshit it. Number one. Number two, mystery and this other guy are taking people on vacation at their expense. That's what they're doing. Now, I'm not knocking the game. If I could get people to take me on vacation, I would do it too. But it just seems appallingly.

Well, it's kind of like the bands that go to, you know, Mexico or whatever. Of course. Except this is mystery. Yes. I was talking to Paul Chowdry. And Chrissy was out, but I was talking to Paul, who is an extraordinary. extraordinarily famous comic from the U.K. Indian descent, he's very famous. Like, he goes to Wembley and sells out one of their states.

Like, Wembley is a complex of stadiums. It's not just the big football stadium, but he sells out Wembley. And he explained to me that most of the time when you do these big shows, what you're really doing is you are lucky if you pay

for all of the costs associated with the big show. It's a fuck you kind of statement. You go there, you sell it out you announce to the world you're big you're bad he's like it's really just a yeah it's really just a punctuation mark is what it is now i know these bands that tour like you know 200 nights a year and go do these stadiums they have to be making a little you know some money they don't seem to be uh bad off but i always felt like the other bands the ones that go down and do the mexico

show like you know once a year and they're down there for a week and they're dominican republic at the hard rock or whatever and they don't tour around a lot that's essentially what they're doing they're getting you to pay for their vacation okay that's fine if i like listening to the music i'm i'm okay with that yeah if it's my vacation and i like the band then they're playing my vacation so that's fine yeah listen how else you're going to get the band to play your vacation do you know what i'm saying yeah listen i'm not it however you got to do it you got to do it i'm not saying it's bad that's also same with the cruises remember tammy would go on the Tammy. I love Tammy. I'm watching all of her shit. Tammy on those cruises. I bet those cruises are wild.

Heather McMahon did one. Everyone's doing one. There's another podcast. I can't think of the name right now, but they're kind of like a sports friendship podcast with a couple of celebrities. They're also doing their first cruise. And I just think to myself, I know you don't like cruising, but it would be fun, I think, to just rent a cruise ship or have a cruise ship. fill it with all the listeners, and then just go wild, just do a bunch of stuff. That would be amazing. Or you could just do a resort. I know. You could. But then you're not like on a boat, and a boat is cool. I like a boat.

You could do a boat. Yeah. But then I like a boat, but then, you know. We could do, wait, hold on, if we did this, we could, you know, choose a place. Yes. Choose a resort somewhere, tropical that we liked. And then we could do one of those sunset cruises. Okay.

We could. That would get your boat and your boat in. Yeah. It's not the same vibe. I'm telling you right now, I think you would really love it if you were in a balcony room. Yes. And you opened up the door and you slept at night. Yeah, a Ritz Cruz.

That's the first thing we're going to do is the Ritz Cruise. Yeah, listen. Dream big, Brian. I agree with you. You got a dream big. Shoot for the stars. Dream big. Paychecks are small.

That's the way that. I'm all about manifesting. I'm all about that. All about it. But I think we're going to shoot a little lower than the Ritz cruise because one cabin in a Ritz cruise costs what it probably costs to rent out a carnival cruise line. It's like $31,000. It's insane. And they're filling them up. How do I know? Because I see them. Like they send me this information all the time. I know. I've gotten it too. And I really, I started looking into it because I was like, Like, ooh, maybe like for a special occasion, Jeff and I's 10-year anniversary or something. Ooh, it would be fun.

But, I mean, they are crazy expensive. They are crazy expensive. They are. For, like, just the base level. Yeah. Yeah, it's like $12,000 for a four-night cruise per person. Per person. It's just way too much.

Now, what you get is amazing. You essentially get a floating spa, a floating Ritz spa. Oh, but I'm sure that. I'm sure not all of that is included. No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. You get the room. And some food. If you need food, they'll give it to you, but it's not going to be the good food. That's not how it works. That's any cruise line. That's Disney cruise line. I mean, Disney gives you pretty good food. But if you want to go get, like, the really nice food, you got to pay extra for it. If you want booze, you got to go pay extra for that. That's how it works. That's how they get you. And then they give you those damn wristbands where you don't, you're not even paying attention to how much you're spending. Yeah, there's no way. You don't have to physically do anything. It's unbelievable. And listen, I love a Ritz Carlton. I've been lucky enough in my life to stay at a few. I love them. They are the best hotel chain in the world, my opinion.

I've stayed a lot, not all of them, but, you know, I've been stayed at a lot of luxury hotel chains, but I've stayed in a number of them. And the Ritz, just there's something about the dark woods and the lion and the service. It's really a fun experience. if you ever get an opportunity once in your life just once in your life save up enough money to spend a night a night or two at a ritz like in a tropical location you know uh fernandina uh Miami wherever tampa the naples one naples one is great yeah um naples one is just as expensive as the cruise you cannot find a room there for less than two thousand dollars a night i know i thought about like we were down there on vacation and i thought let me and it was not it was kind of near

to my anniversary, and I said, let me take Astrid for a night or two over at the Ritz. And then I looked at the prices, and I said, let me stay right here in this cheap Airbnb. For a Drake. That's right. It's exactly what we do. That's what we do. The good news is I could walk outside of my Airbnb and see the Ritz. 18 stories in the air. I mean, we drove by it a lot. I said, look, remember? We did our honeymoon there, because that's where we did our honeymoon. Yeah. So, all right, let's take a break. And want to get back.

I'm going to talk a little bit more about Carnival Cruises. They've made some interesting changes to their behavior policies. Really? Yes. I might have needed to. I think they might have needed to. Listen, and we'll get into it. We'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my My check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.

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I have been watching some videos from Carnival Cruises lately where people are getting kicked off of the Carnival Cruise for breaking a number of the new rules that Carnival has installed, I think to keep everyone safe and happy. Yeah. Listen, yeah, Carnival has kind of become the party cruise, like one long boost cruise. And you can understand that when you're trying to run a cruise line, that's fine. You can make a good chunk of change doing that. But because they are relatively accessible, it's one of the, it's not the lowest price cruise line, but it's one of the lower.

It's value, right? You can get a room and probably get a good room for cheap. And quite frankly, most of us need that right now. But what happens is large groups of people are congregating inside of clubs, inside of the, on the deck, wherever. And they sometimes get a little bit out of control with the booze. Yeah. And so Carnival has taken a number of steps to tamp down on this. Now, you can argue that this is what needs to be done if they want to survive as a cruise line and continue to have families show up,

Continue to have anybody. I mean, listen, if you go to a cruise and it's just so loud and rambunctious that it's uncomfortable, you're probably not going to return to the cruise line. That's true. But for the people who are... Unless it's what you're looking for. If that's what you're looking for, then this is your cruise line, right? And apparently a lot of people are looking for that, right? I've seen videos where there must be a thousand people on the deck, on like the Lido deck where the pool is and all that. Just raging. Just raging. Just raging. Just dancing and... raging and you know not an inch square inch in the pool everybody's just sitting there loud music it looks like fun if i was 10 years younger right if i was 10 years younger it would look like fun but now i have children i would never vote that cruise line because i needed to be a little bit calm just a little bit right people have been falling off of cruise ships fights have been happening bags are stolen I can imagine the fights.

Oh, yeah. There's a lot of Carnival Cruise fights. It's a whole... Because you throw alcohol, sun, alcohol, people in bikinis and... Yes. But good-looking bodies and jealousy. I can only imagine. Yes.

And you have a whole subgenre of Instagram videos that are Carnival Cruise fights. I mean, it's just what it is. Wow. And to be fair, listen, there are also Disney Cruise fights. There are Disney World fights. I mean, there are lots... You know, people are on edge. Everybody's on edge.

But that Carnival Cruise seems to be a magnet for just taking it too far. And so there are other people now who are posting videos where they are actually getting kicked off the ship. How do they kick you off the ship? They put you in a jail. Or they lock you in your room. Oh, I've heard about the cruise ship jail. There's a cruise ship jail. It is a room with no windows, essentially.

A room with no windows or television. And they'll put you in there until you make it to your next destination. then you're on your own getting home. And that, yes, and that is probably not the best situation, especially if you just- Drop you off in an island somewhere and say, figure it out yourself? Yep, that's it. They have the right to do it. They have to maintain order on the cruise ships. Listen, when you're out in international waters, it is a lawless land. That's true. There is no, there are maritime laws. There are treaties, but there's no real law.

And that's why that there are also a whole subgenre of investigative journalism around people who go missing or get killed or get assaulted on ships because the cruise ships fiercely defend their territory. They fiercely defend our own right to investigate their own situations. And when it happens in the middle of sea, they're the first and last authority. Now, usually someone, like if you're out in the Mediterranean or let's say you're crossing the Atlantic and something bad happened, someone goes missing, someone gets murdered, whatever. Wherever the boat is flagged is usually going to be involved in the investigation and then usually wherever the person was from, right, like the U.S. But they have limited investigative possibilities and opportunities because the cruise ship can largely dictate when, where, and how those investigations. investigations happen. Wow. You don't have any authority on a boat in the middle of the ocean. You just don't. Who's the air traffic controllers of the seats? No one. Okay. You are. You are. Maritime law keeps you in check. And how do I know this? Because I have an app on my phone. I follow maritime traffic. There are well-known shipping routes. Okay.

And cruising routes and recreational. And I just kind of stay in touch with each other or I guess you just see another ship? Yeah, you have radar. And most of them have global tracking. Almost every boat that does any kind of activity out in the open ocean has tracking for two reasons. Number one, in case you get lost. But number two, to keep an eye so that you are visible to other boats. Okay, that makes sense. And so that other boats are visible to you.

But there's not one main hub. No, there's not air traffic control. And I'll get back to Carnival. But when you cross the Atlantic on an airplane, you fly up. to the furthest point, like Newfoundland, Canada. You fly up to the farthest point and then you travel across the shortest distance to get over to land in Europe, right? And you sometimes might fly over Greenland or whatever. I mean, however, it depends on where you're flying. Okay. But there are air traffic controllers who maintain those routes. And every day,

based on weather patterns and traffic patterns, they will decide. There's A, B, C, D, and F. There's all kind of lines in the sky, highways in the sky, and the traffic pattern often goes one way at a certain time and another way at a certain time and they separate you or they have everybody flying on the same line because of weather. So let's say today they're using A, right? So the air traffic controller puts you on pattern A and there you will go. A lot of times you are so far out in the ocean that there is no air traffic control that you can communicate with except via a global position, like there's a global text message system essentially. So you have to relay on other airplanes that are behind you that can hear you, that can pick up your air traffic.

It's a little scary when you think about it. You would know this stuff. When you get on a ship, there is nothing like that. Okay. They stay in touch with each other. There's maritime friendliness. It seems like there's just so many cruise lines out there, but I guess the ocean is so very big. It's vast. It's vast. When we went on, uh, when we went on, uh, our cruise in the Mediterranean, we could see other boats at night, either following us or on the side of us, going up, pacing us almost, like the exact same. Now, they're probably a half a mile or a mile away, but that is done, I think, because we're all going in the same direction. And a lot of times we would see those ships in port at the next port because there's

only so many combinations. But then also, I think it's for safety, right? It's to make sure that nothing happens. And if something does happen, there's power and numbers. You've got some friends. You've got something that can go on. Carnival Cruise, known as this kind of value cruise ship operator, they have largely catered to people who normally don't, can't afford, like, luxury cruising. So they fit this bill. Yeah. And they can give you really cheap rooms, like $259 for a four-day cruise. for a person. I've seen those. Yeah.

And they feed you. And sometimes they booze you, depending on what package you get. And then they let rip. And then everyone just gets on the cruise ship and shit goes crazy. So they've been putting some new rules in place. And they are not kidding, because I have seen these videos of like, you know, 24-year-old college girl brings booze on the cruise in some kind of container, gets caught, and then gets put in the maritime jail inside of the thing.

and then she gets dropped off at the next location. No shit. So there's now a curfew. Miners under the 18 must be in their stateroom or accompanied by an adult that is over the age of 25 after 1 a.m. Sounds like it makes sense. Okay. Disruptive behavior. Guests can be fined up to $5,000 removed from the cruise without refund or blacklisted for violating behavioral.

codes and rules. Noise. You're no longer allowed to run or shout in the hallway. It is prohibited and you can be fined or kicked off the cruise. Which means there were a ton of people doing this before. A ton of people. There are people who do this for content creation. They like make videos of themselves running down the halls at three in the morning,

banging on doors and screaming and yelling like someone's getting murdered. It's not cool. It wants to swing. Yeah, exactly. No more pineapples on the door. No, that one didn't. They didn't go that far. They know their niche market. That's right. Dance floor rules. Consuming drinks on the dance floor is no longer allowed. Okay. Okay. I don't know how that stops anyone from drinking. You just pop off the dance floor. Sip it up and they get back on the dance floor. Well, there's probably a lot of spilling going on. People falling. Yes. One of the rules that has got a lot of people bent out of shape. But I think this is perfectly reasonable is that pool chairs left unintended. for more than 40 minutes, we'll have the belongings removed. So if you, what a lot of people

were doing on these cruises. Saving seats. Saving seats. It's not cool. Don't do it. If you're going to be at the pool chairs, be at the pool chairs. If you're not going to be at the pool chairs, let somebody else go. If you have a pool chair and you go to take us dip for 20 minutes, I can understand. Yeah. Otherwise, if you're spending the entire day in the pool, then you don't need the chair anyway. You don't need the chair anyway. Put it on the side of the pool. Or, or better yet, If you go down to take a nap in your state room and you're leaving two pieces of clothing on the chair so that two hours later you can have the same fantastic seat you had before, it's not fucking fair. Don't do that. You're just being rude and entitled. That's what you're doing. You need to see it from someone else's perspective. Speakers and radios, all personal speakers, including Bluetooth, are now banned in public spaces to ensure guest safety. Fans. Now, I don't understand this one as much as I maybe could, but the handheld fans.

Oh, there's the big thing with the Ravers. Yeah, the Clack fans, is what they call them, are now... Clip open. Oh, they do? Okay. They're now prohibited in nightclubs and indoor dance floors for safety reasons, but battery-powered fans are still permitted. Interesting. Yeah, well, now I had a friend tell me that the fans are the new glow sticks. Oh, really? For the dancers. Okay, that is interesting. I had no idea that that was a thing.

All right. Well, keep your fans at home, kids. Click clack. Click clack. Get back. Jack. Attack, click, clack. I don't know.

I don't know what was going on with the fan. I don't know why they're being banned, but okay. There's a lot of people on the social media that are upset about the fans one way or the other. Like, thank God they, they, I don't know. I don't know. The fans are that big of a problem. Maybe they were, like, hitting people in the face or something. Probably. Yeah, they're probably whipping them open in people's eyeballs. I don't know. I don't know. If somebody knows, let me know. I really am interested.

Marijuana, all cannabis products are now banned on board because they are illegal under federal law, and violators will face arrest and be removed from the ship. So, you know, and then there's behavior and Consequences, fan ban. Listen, fan ban. I just think some of this sounds like common sense. but apparently there were people that were abusing it so and we know there's not there's a lot of people there's a lot of people a lot of them aren't well a lot of them are well and they'll take advantage you give them an inch they take a mile that's just the way it is can't say i've never i can't say it's never happened to me or i've never been that guy either um but i was young and dumb and so you know by tailoring the experience a little bit more toward people who have a little more maturity i think

you'll cut a lot of the crap out. Like, if you've got to be 25 to be out after 1 a.m., then, okay, but here's the thing. The people who are probably upset about this type of behavior aren't out at 1 a.m. anyway. Do you know what I'm saying? So I don't understand how that works, but okay, you do you, Carnival Cruise, but people are crazed. Some people are really upset about this. They feel like this is, you know, ah, you've cut out all the party. I'm never going on there again. Well, go get on Jimmy Buffett. That's it. I was just going to say, Jimmy Buffett's cruise line will happily take you.

Cockroaches and all. Dirty sinks and bloody sheets and everything you want. Margaritaville's got it for you. Discount captain. Discount boat with a discount captain. I don't know that, but I've seen videos from there too. No hat, no problem. Yeah, no hat, no fan, no problem.

Don't worry about it. Bring your fans on the Margaritaville cruise. They're all about it. They'd just be happy to have anybody. Yeah. I watch some really pathetic videos from that cruise line. I mean, people are... Which is a shame.

Jimmy, you know, he's not around to defend it anymore, I guess. And how long did they have this cruise line before he died? Because, you know, I've seen specials about these Margaritaville retirement resorts. And those things are big money and look like a ton of fun. Listen, we went to one of the resorts. Yeah, they have the retirement villages. They have the resorts. We went to a resort in Panama City.

And I can't say it was terrible. I can't. The place was clean. We had a house like a bungalow with a margarita machine. Margarita machine, ice machine, pool with water slides, perfectly lovely people, a nice bar and grill that you could hang out at. It wasn't the Ritz, that's for sure. Right. But it didn't need to be.

We had a ton of fun with the kids. So, but Margaritaville Cruise Line. I don't know what went wrong there. Yeah, something happened. He loaned his, they loaned his name to it, and it's just a shitty cruise ship with shitty pipes. An old shrimp boat. It is like, yeah, it's like one of those, you know, deadliest catch boats that they tried to doll up. All right, we'll take a break.

We'll be back. Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely, Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me or Chrissy, at 212-4333-TCB.

That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. or text us and we'll text you're right back promise then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker it's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide you get the point follow us on instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video at

youtube.com slash the commercial break best to you and astrid especially astrid Well, we haven't been here since Halloween, so how was it? Oh, oh, I had a blast over Halloween. Yeah. It was a beautiful day. It had been raining all that week, and then the clouds parted, and it was beautiful. We had tons of trick-or-treaters. I love Halloween.

I love dressing up. I love decorating, scaring the kids, giving out candy the whole thing. And we did it for three hours or so. Rachel came over. We had a blast. Wow. A little wine, a little candy, a little scare, trick-or-treat, boo. And we had to shut it down because we'd get so many.

That's crazy. Yeah, we ran out of candy. And how much candy do you think you had? A lot. I mean, I had an eight-pound thing of assorted chocolates. All the good ones, Kit Katz. Hershey's all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The good ones. That's a four-pounder of the skittles. Wow. So when I mixed it all together, I mean, we had a lot. A bucket of candy. Three buckets. Wow. And you gave it all away.

Gave it all away. And so it's just like a stream of people just coming down the street at all given times. I mean, you know, it starts off. We had, you know, we first had people come in at like five. It's a trickle turns into a faucet. Yes. That's exactly what happened. As soon as the sun goes down.

Uh-huh. Yeah. And was it mainly younger kids or did you have a good? mix of teenagers. It was mainly younger kids. Oh, I would say below the age of like 11, let's see, 10 or 11. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, there were a few sprinkled in. And I have to say there were some parents, too. We were like, okay, here. Parents that, like, knocked on the door and said trick-or-treat? Well, they went up to the thing with the group of the kids. And they wanted candy also? Well, usually it was that they were getting it for their little baby. Okay.

That was out in the store. The babies don't eat candy. Come on. I mean, listen, I got to say, we were. I think our neighborhood is one of those that people drive to from, also from, other areas. We were doing the whole trick-or-treat thing. We were running up and down the street at a different neighborhood that a friend, like a friend of one of the kids, because our neighborhood is not super conducive as a busy road. So we don't want the kids walking up and down it. And so we were walking around and we really hadn't eaten dinner. The adults had me eaten dinner. So Astrid at one point was like, oh, make sure you get one for our youngest.

And then she was like, and also, yeah, and also, I'm not going to be mad if you get me a kid cat. Right. And listen, fair enough. When you're hungry, you're hungry. You know, and if people are just giving out candy, okay. But I wasn't like purposefully going up and taking candy for myself. I mean, maybe once. I said, oh, this skittles are good.

I'll take one of those. I mean, but there are people who just go crazy. There are some people who put, like, large candies in the basket, whole packs of starburst, big things of Kit Kat. You know, there was this one guy. He was sitting by himself. He had his trunk of his car open. He had, like, decorated it lightly, right? This isn't starting off good.

Yeah, well, you know, he had a single guy, he had a tall boy of like schlitz. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. Older man. Probably in his 60s. He had diabetic socks on with shorts. Yes. And he was like, compression socks.

He's sitting in a lawn chair and there's some old like, you know, R&B playing on the radio. I thought, I love this guy. I was all into the vibe. I said, I go, you're having the best time here. But he had just the monstrous candy. Like the candy bars you pay for individually, Nestle, Crunch and Hershey's bars and big packs of Skiddle, all kind of, like, great candy. And he's in these two buckets just sitting on the hatch of his car, you know? Just stick your head in there for a minute.

Yeah. Grab it. Just go ahead, young man. Jump up in the car. There's more where that came from. Do you like earth, wind, and fire? Come in here and I'll teach you about earth, wind, and fire. I got a handy. Neslick crunch bar for you.

Oh my God, you know what was mixed in with some of our, that big, the big thing of chocolate I got was the almond joys. And I was like, hey, but people loved them. Are people still doing almond joy? What's wrong with you? Coconut doesn't, I mean, I get it. People like coconut. Yeah, but not the coconut and the nugget and the almonds and the chocolate.

It's just a terrible, wasteful concoction. Yeah. And while we're at it, let's not give out. candy corn anymore no one likes it no i think it's cute to put like the little pumpkin candy corns in a bag and while we're at it twizzlers what are we doing with twizzlers you buy those at movie theaters when you i don't know when you're a teenager your first movie and you don't know what else to get let's get twizzlers twizzlers are a terrible thing to give away you need the herseys need the um you need the butterfingers sourpatch kids yeah kit kettles butterfingers skittles that's the good

You know, dip and dot, I don't know, not dipping dots, but the, what do you call them? The pixie sticks. Yeah, the pixie sticks are great, too, the fun dip. Fun dip. One of my friends was giving away fun dip. I thought, whole big fun dips, I was like, wow, that's impressive. You're spending some cash on this stuff. A hundred dollars we spent on candy.

Yeah, we spent $100 too. And it's just, you know, it's a lot. But it is fun to watch all of the kids. It's dressed up, having so much fun, especially the young, young ones, like, you know, four, five, six, seven years old. That's the sweet spot. That's the sweet spot. Come on in and look at my earthwind and fire collection. That's the sweet spot. Those are the kids that I really enjoy watching. In this neighborhood, there was like a gang of people, like adults and parents that we had been with last year that we were with again. And, you know, I don't know, there's like 40 of us just walking down the street together. And all the kids, most of the kids. the kids are under the age of 13, a lot of them under the age of seven years old, and they're just so

fucking cute. I mean, they really are. They're just adorable. They're excited. They're excited. It's exciting. I love it. And then an hour in, I'm fucking done. I'm done. As soon as it starts getting cold, I'm like, okay, guys, let's get out of here. Yeah, we were lights out at eight. Yeah, we were back home by 8.30. And the only reason it took us a half an hour to get home. But we were really, I was, it got cold. That's the problem. It seems like Halloween is like the line of demarcation with cold weather here in Atlanta. You know, it gets cold right at Halloween.

And that drives me crazy. I wish it would stay warm just a little bit longer. And then on top of that, that goddamn moving your clocks, let's stop that shit immediately. Yeah, the old spring forward fallback. I love an hour and extra sleep. like everybody else does, but this is the whole clock bouncing back and forth is really bothersome to me. Yeah, pick one. Pick one. And in 19 states, they have voted to keep daylight savings all year round, right? So in other words, oh, they did? The fall back. Yes. But only if it becomes

a federal mandate, only if it becomes federal. And, you know, Trump didn't sign it. Biden didn't sign it. Trump's not sign. I don't know what Trump's doing over there. It's a goofball. He doesn't seem to know either. He didn't know who he pardoned. He has no idea who he pardoned. Trillionaire from Binance. He has no idea who that guy is. But the next day, Trump coin. Bitcoin. Trump coin on finance. Go figure.

But I have no idea who he is. No clue. Yeah, yeah. They just tell me who to pardon. Right. They said it. They said it. Well, listen, you know, Diddy's next. Guaranteed. Watch. Mark my words, Diddy is next. All right. We got a week full of fun coming your way, kids. Wee.

Woo-hoo. I did have fun at Halloween. I do. I love it. I just love it. I do like to watch the kids. They're a lot of fun. I even watched the great pumpkin Charlie Brown this year.

You watched Good Gravy Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown? I did. I had it out of the background as I was cooking. One night, I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a cute movie. It is. It is.

It's cute. I don't know if Charlie Brown held up as well as some of the other Christmas classics, like holiday classics. But I do still like watching the Snoopy. It was on Apple. Yeah. Snoopy on Thanksgiving and it's fun. Snoopy's still riding down that Thanksgiving Day parade every single time. Unbelievable.

Yeah. I love it. God bless America. God bless America. America. All right, do us a favor. 212-433-3-3-T-CB. 212-4-33-38-22.

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to the contact us button drop down menu says i want my free sticker we'll give it to you we're obligated or we're obligated now we're in it now we can't get out of it now I'm going to pay a dollar 50 every time someone gives me their address or puts me on a coupon site or some shit right oh my god oh yeah yeah all right well listen that's all I can do for today I think so I'll tell you that I love you I love you best to you best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I will say We do say, and we must say. Goodbye.

I get ass.