The Commercial Break - Click Click Chiropracty!

Episode Date: March 6, 2026

EP904: Bryan & Krissy discuss the new fangled idea of "click click chiropracty!" Where your local, buff, beautiful chiropractor uses a $10 Childs toy to cure all your woes!  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On this episode of the commercial break. You know, your mind has a lot of sway over your body. If you're feeling sick, you can make yourself sick. If you're feeling great, you can be great. Chiropractic, chiropractors. Chiropractic. Chiropractic. Come on down to Brian's chiropractic clinic.

Quick, treat, click, treat. Come down to Brian's click, click chiropractic. Click, click. What's wrong? You have one testicle. I click, click, click. There's the other one. I bring it back.

Click, click. You could probably get some business. You can't get bono. I click, click, click. Brian, click, chiropractic. You can sell why Brian 3,000? Why, Brian 3,000? Rub a little on.

Click click. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, Cass and Kins. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend. And the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Houdley. Best to you, Chris.

Best to you, Ryan. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. That's what happens when you get out of practice for a minute. Yeah, you get out of practice. We had to take a couple days off because there's a little stomach bug running around the house. But thank you very much for hanging in there. Hi, everybody in the stream. Yes, thank you for the happy birthday wishes.

Yeah, happy birthday wishes to, oh, happy birthday wishes to you. Yes. People texted in and said happy birthday, just to let you know. And then South Georgia Sean also had a birthday. South George Deshawn I see in there. So thanks everybody for being on the stream. We're back. Here we are.

Live, fresh, brand new, shitty episodes of the commercial break. Dumping right out of the back of us. Like a bomber flying over the U.S. I just saw this video. My daughter and I, on occasion, I will allow my daughter, one of my oldest daughter, to watch animals on Instagram. I'll, like, hashtag it and watch it. So she wanted to know about rhinoceroses.

rhinoceros is some pretty cool animals awesome she wants to know how they survive how they're dinosaurs how do they live so long I don't think she understands that like it's not one actual rhinoceros that's lived for millions of years it's the species but I'm trying to get I'm trying to teach her she loves it though she's all about it so we're watching rhinoceruses and then one comes up where a cheetah

has grabbed onto the hind of and the rhinoceros is running running running and then explosive diarrhea all over the cheetah. And the cheetah is just like, ah, ah. That's one way to get somebody all of you. And so my daughter says, is that what

it's like when you have diarrhea? And I'm like, pretty much. Mine is the big cat in my ass. You know that stomach bug that was going around? That's what it was like. There you go, daughter of mine. You're learning about the real world. That's how rhinoceroses

have stayed alive all right. this time. Well, I, so I actually, so she's saying, ask chat, ask chat, why rhinoceroses are still alive. And so I'm like, babe, that's not a question that Chad is going to have the answer to, but of course, Chad had the answer to it. And it was like, because it eat plant, it eats plants. It's evolved in certain ways. It's got five inch thick skin in certain places. And it can pretty much survive on very little water and just shrubs. Like, that's it. That's part of the reason why it survived all of this. So she said, Dad, why would, where would a rhinoceros be able to eat scrubs? And I go, shrubs. And she goes, Scrubs. And I go, shrubs. And she goes, I know what the doctors wear. And I go, no, no, no, the rhinoceros is not eating scrubs.

Scrubs is back. Did you see that? I did see that they've done a reboot. I haven't watched it. Scrubs has been rebooted. I did not watch it either. I got into Scrubs very late in its evolution. I thought, that's silly television show, I don't want to.

It wasn't my style of show. Yeah. But then when I started watching it, I was like, oh, it is my style of show. I like this. It's interesting. It's funny. But I got into it like maybe the last two seasons. And I watched, if there's 100 episodes or 150 episodes of that show, I probably watch 20 of them.

Yeah, me too. I always enjoyed it. I always thought it was great. It wasn't my favorite show. It wasn't the worst show. The two doctors, they have really good chemistry. Yeah. I mean, now that there's before, I think when it was on before,

there wasn't really this on-demand streaming. Right. Yeah. So you had to catch it. And I think that was during a time when I might have been like out at that time or something when it came on. So now would be a good time to reboot it because everything is on-demand-streaming. So there it is. It's on Peacock.

It's on NBC. So it's getting great reviews. It's, you know, obviously they're older. But I watched like half an episode that they posted on somewhere on YouTube or something. And I thought, oh, okay. You know, seems seems. to be in the spirit of the show, the original show, and it seems to feel very much like they are riding the back of pit, like the pit, right? Like the counter-narrative to the pit. Here they are

in the emergency room, doctors running around doing the thing. But don't they have like singing and stuff? It's a crazy show. Like there is no rhyme or reason to it. It's, I have a hard time comparing it to another show. What's that, the Dennis Medical, that one that came out? St. Dennis Medical. That was pretty cute. I watched a few of those episodes. They did well. They got picked up for another season. So they're on season, they're filming season number three right now. So good for what's her name.

Wendy. Wendy. Wendy. McClendon-Lauvin or whatever. Wendy Lovine or whatever her name is. McClendon. McClendon? Wendy McClendon. Wendy Loven Maclendon. Wendy something. Congratulations, Wendy. Yes. Let me say Wendy. So, yeah, anyway,

so if you're interested, I guess you'd go watch Scrubs. I am watching currently. I was just right before we came on air. I was watching a doctor on Instagram that I love. Dr. Justin. Dr. Justin is a board-certified, I think, emergency room doctor, who does nothing on his Instagram but bust the entirety of the nut sack of chiropractors. Oh.

And he is just all over there. The ones that he really gets after are the ones that are really just full of shit. Like they take a picture. The other day, I think I said this at some point on the show. they'll take a picture of your spine and then they'll say look at all of this tissue and then Dr. Justin has done this probably five times. The chiropractor on their Instagram, he's like watching their Instagram real. He'll be like the chiropractor will be like, look at all of this tissue that's inflated and inflamed and blah blah. Yeah. Every time Dr. Justin will go, that is not

inflamed tissue. That is poop. That is poop in your belly. It's perfectly normal. Everybody has it. And it's like, these guys are so full of shit sometimes. And what he really gets after now, his favorite thing to do, he's been doing it for about 30 reels in a row, is the chiropractors that use the clickers. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a chiropractor do that to me one time and then tried to get me to buy like a monthly subscription

to the chiropractic office. And I was like, I'm out of here. That is a child's toy that you're using to try and make me believe that you're fixing something. Can't you buy one of those, like, off TV? You can buy it on Amazon for 10. $10 you can buy those things. They are literally children's toys.

They are clickers. That's what they are, a little clicker. And people are going to the chiropractic office and spending 50, 60, 70 bucks a visit to have someone press them in your back or on your neck or whatever and tell you that you're all fixed. It doesn't work that way. I love having my neck cracked and my back crack. I love it.

I found a good one. He doesn't try to sell me on a bunch of stuff. Yeah. It's just straight up. Me too. Go in and get the adjustment. Go in. Get my neck and my neck and my neck.

back cracked, move on with life. And I have also learned that when my back is actually in pain is not the time to go to the chiropractor, they will likely make it worse. Yes. Just go there when you're feeling good, but you feel like you're a little stressful. And the best chiropractors are the ones who give you a nice massage at the end. Not a full massage, but a nice massage. That's it.

That's all I want. I don't want your fucking hanky-panky bullshit that, you know, I can fix MS with a clicker. It doesn't work that way. It never worked that way. That's it. Dr. Justin, keep doing your good work. Let's call out the be it. Listen, chiropractori, or however you say it, is pseudoscience.

It's a gray area. It's a gray area, right? It's pseudoscience. A lot of people believe in it. A lot of people make it, it makes them feel better for whatever reason. And I do believe that most of your, you know, your mind has a lot of sway over your body. If you're feeling sick, you can make yourself sick.

If you're feeling great, you can be great. Chiropractic, chiropractors. Chiropractic. Chiropractic. Come on down to Brian's chiropractic clinic. Click, click, click, click. Come down to Brian's click, click, click, chiropractic. Quick, click.

What's wrong? You have one testicle. I click, click, click. There's the other one. I bring it back. Click, click. You could probably get some business. You can't get boner.

I click, click, click. Brian, click, click, chiropractic. You can sell why Brian 3,000. Why, Brian 3,000? Rub a little line, take click. It's good and new. Look, it's hard and rock. Yeah, it's a pseudoscience, but it really has just taken over the world.

I think it's got a lot of leeway, if you will, I guess. It's not an act. You don't get an act. actual MD, right? You go to a certain college. They teach you all about it. Some people like the college. Some people don't like the college, especially places like life college. Well, that's like the biggest one, right? It's the biggest one. It's here in Atlanta. Yeah. And there is a whole thing that goes along with being a chiropractor. It's a whole way of life, a way of thinking, a perspective. And yeah, I'm not here to knock chiropractors. I go to one. I like them.

Me too. I think they're great. But I like my chiropractor. And I've been to lots of chiropractors, and some of them are just so hokey fucking pokey. It's like, this cannot be true. I do not believe it. And if I don't believe it, it's not going to work. So I'm going to leave. But those offices are filled with people who do believe it. So there you go.

I mean, listen. Well, there's a lot of, like, accident attorney integration with all of that. Yeah. It's a big business. Big business. I have a friend who's a chiropractor. I like him. I think he does a good job.

He gave me a massage. He cracked my neck. He'd pop my back every once in a while. He'd put me on a massage table. He'd rub out a sore muscle or whatever. Loved him. Thought he was great. Wonderful.

Because I never saw any of that hokey pokey bullshit. Now, I don't know if that's because it doesn't go on in his office or he just knew that I wasn't going to pay attention to it. So he decided to just give me the straight basic treatment. But I did see those fucking clickers in his office. He was using them. I haven't seen the clickers in the guy that I can do. You haven't seen the clickers?

Not the one that I get to. Yeah. Good. Good. If there's clickers in your chiropractic, get out. If there's click, click, click, chiropractic chiropractic?

It's not for you. Click, click. Click, chiropractic. I'm sorry. I don't want to be, I don't want to diss on chiropractors.

You know, they make more money than I do. So they must be doing something right, right? They do you make money, God damn, dude, do they make money? I see those chiropractors

are driving the nice cars, living in the townhouses, having sex with lots of people. That was your experience. Holy shit. That's the only thing about Life College is there are a lot of beautiful people

that go to Life College. Life College is filled with beautiful people. It's very much about how you look. We have to be in shape, too, just to even be able to, like, do the adjustments. Yes. I dare you to find a fat chiropractor. They don't exist. No.

Because they don't. That's just like there's a whole way of life that goes along with it. And you've got to walk the walk if you're going to talk to talk. And I think that's part of what they teach you, train you, discuss with you when you go to chiropractic school. When you go to click-click chiropractic school, they teach you that. that your body is a vessel and that it needs to be maintained. And that's why all those chiropractors, male or female, they are good looking and they are in shape. It's true.

95% of the time. I have not seen an overweight chiropractor ever in my entire life. Never seen one. They probably exist, but I haven't seen one. I guess they go out of business pretty quick, huh? Well, plus, you don't want someone really large, like bending over you and pressing into you and all that. Exactly. I've had chiropractors on my back.

I just watched, speaking of massages, I just watched direct. real. It was rather disturbing. I don't know if it's true or if it's not. Someone that we loosely know. I'm not a huge fan of her. I'll tell you who it is afterwards. It's not important who it is. Okay. Has been having a run of bad massage experiences in New York with guys that are like, you know, basically, not molesting her, but basically like getting way too comfortable, you know, taking off her towel in the middle of the, you know, looking up her choochie and. What? Yeah. And she keeps posting about it on Instagram and

she is a comedian that's a kind of a loose I use that loosely what she is is really not a comedian but she pretends to be one but she's posting these and it seems like in New York they're given Boscollo massages left and right

and I'm wondering should I go get a massage in New York well yeah maybe some people want that lots of people want it lots of people want it There's still the massage place down the street from my house. It's still open. Still see cars there all the time.

There's no massages going on in that place. I can't guarantee. I saw one of the masseuses walking out of there at like two in the morning one night, walking to her car with a very large what probably was security guard of some sort, walking her to her car, two parking lots over. I guess that's what they tell them to do. Park over there. You know, whatever. And I've never seen a masseuse like this ever in my soul. my entire life. She was not dressed like a masseuse, I'll say that much. But okay, whatever,

I don't care. It's not like, if you're getting a hand shandy and it's consulting adults, perfect, fine, wonderful. I love it. Good for you, good for her, good for them, good for everybody. Sex work is work. That's it. But if you're going up for like a regular massage and they're like, you know, taking off your towel in the middle of a massage so they can get a quick peek at your undercarriage. It's kind of weird, though, too, that she's just a run of bad massages that are all men. Because, I mean, there's, is there women mixed in there, too? Are she requesting men? She only seems to be posting about the guys.

But my question to her is, why continue to go, like, go to an actual, like, spa that, like, there are spas here in Atlanta where clearly you're not getting a hand shandy, no matter how much you ask. And if you ask, you're probably getting asked to leave. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or worse, right? So, you know, I go to a place here in Atlanta, and it's got a couple of locations, and it's very well-known, very nice. And I have never had anything even close to inappropriate. There are masseuses that are more comfortable getting up inside you, if you know what I mean, you know, rubbing your butt or getting on the inside of your thigh.

Yeah, the glutes, but like really up far in the glutes. I'm okay with that, right? Because I'm not asking for hand shandy. I know they're not giving me one. Yeah. So if they're really just relaxing my glutes, cool. but I know for a fact that I will never be propositioned for a hand shandy at those places. However, the one that's in the strip mall that has the open sign on 24 hours a day is definitely giving me a hand shandy.

Definitely. As a matter of fact, if I don't want a hand shandy, it's unlikely that I should even walk in there for a massage. They might ask you to leave. They're going to ask me to leave. That's it. It's someone says they had a chiropractor at church and the guy cracked their back and he laughed. He giggled. The first time I had my neck cracked, I giggled too because I did, first of all, I didn't know what to expect.

It was a girl who was in school. I was young. I was like 20 years old. And she was practicing because she was at life college. And she was like, hey, do you want me to pop your neck? And I was like, not, no? What is that? Yeah.

I didn't even really know what it was. Yeah. But then she went behind me and did the whole thing. And when she popped it, it scared the shit on me. But it did make me laugh a little bit, too. I was like, wow, that's weird. That's strange. I know whenever my chiropractor does it, he's always like, whoa.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You needed that. Yeah, mine are loud. When they pop me, I'm loud. Yes. Yeah, but I crack my knuckles and all that.

My kids love when I like love when I crack my knuckles, you think it's the best thing. They're like, oh, pop your knuckles. And then they want me to pop their knuckles. I get on that foam roller, you know, and roll that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do like in that middle part. Yeah. God bless America.

God bless America. The only thing giving me a hand chandy is my foam roller. You can fuck it. You can't. It's true. All right. I want to tell you that I want to tell you about something very exciting that happened to me personally that brought me right back to 19 years old.

And I wish it had happened when I was 19 years old. Let's put it that way. I have asked her now. but I wish it happened. A hand chandy? What's that? A hand chandy? God, I wish this person would have given me a hand chandy.

Sorry, Asterd. Love you. But, all right, let's take a short break. And when we get back, Brian will tell you how his 19-year-old self. Was resurrected. Resurrected. Literally. What?

Click, click, click. Click-click. Clickety, clackety, chiropractity. Hey, it's Rachel. Your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much. longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail

by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-333-3-3-tcb. That's 333, 3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you can make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. Okay. I put out a reel the other day on my personal Instagram account. The reel goes something like

this. Your wife is looking for a new dress. And it shows my screen. And it shows that she sends me a picture of a dress. And I put, you know, love it. And then she comes back with three question marks. Like she doesn't understand what that means, right? And then I'm trying to find the right answer. It's a funny reel. It's 30 seconds long. It's gotten, it went crazy. Nutsy. Nutsy. Okay. Tens of thousands of shares. Millions of views across multiple platforms. People requesting to use the reel on, like, you know, can we put it on our, you know, highlight page? Can you, can we use this? Can we repurpose it? You know, all this other stuff. So like a true viral hit. Okay, great. That's not the point. It's lovely that, it's lovely that that happened, but that's not the point. Because when you

have an Instagram account that's popping, Instagram will start separating the notifications from you. It'll say, you know, interactions, basically. And that's just people liking stuff, people commenting, whatever. This reel has now gotten 660,000 views or whatever. Then it says highlights, and the highlights are usually people who have verified accounts or are important for some reason either to you personally or in the larger ecosphere of Instagram. So if a celebrity likes your post, if someone with a blue checkmark likes your post, if one of your friends likes your post, it separates from the noise down below. It highlights it, right? That's nice. It's nice because it gives you an opportunity to see if there's anything actually important happening. It's the difference between TikTok and Instagram. There is some kind of differentiator in the notifications because I could not possibly have gone through all the notifications. On some of my posts, it's just, I'm not saying this braggadociously, there's just too much going on for me to at all ever keep up with hundreds of thousands of likes and all this other stuff.

So a couple of days ago, a notification pops up in the highlights. It says, K. Chenoweth liked and shared your post. And I'm like, Kay Chenoweth, sounds familiar. So I click on it. It's Kristen Chenoweth. Yeah, she's huge. Whoa. The OG Glinda.

Yeah, she's a big Broadway star. But for me, the more important thing is the West Wing. She did a couple of turns in the West Wing. as Annabeth, and she is great in that show, and I love the way that she played it, and that's obviously one of my favorite shows, and so I loved it. And so I got a little, I was a little star-struck.

I was like, wow, Ketana with my post and shared it, that's lovely. But then, a day later, Daisy Fuentes. Oh, Daisy. Liked and commented on your post. Oh, I loved her, too. Daisy fucking Fuentes.

Now, for those of you that may not be bathed in the warm water, of Daisy Fuentes. Oh, yeah. MTV Beach time. MTV fashion, MTV, beach, MTV, everything for like three years. It was Daisy Fuentes everywhere. Spring break.

All of it. All of it. Daisy Fuentes was MTV and MTV was Daisy Fuentes. It is my first Latina love, Daisy Fuentes. Daisy Fuentes, in my opinion, my humble opinion, is one. stunning woman. She really is, and have you seen her recently? She has not lost a beat.

No, I saw her on like a show where they were redoing homes. Oh, really? And they did like a room in her home. Oh. And I was like, damn, she's still got it. She looks great. Who, is that HDTV? Yeah, I think it was.

Oh, God, I'm going to have to tune in. It's my least favorite channel, but I'm going to have to tune in to HGTV. Because Daisy fucking Fuentes, like my post, I swear to God, Chrissy, I got so. so excited about this. Yeah. Running around like a little girl. I'm like, Daisy Fuentes like my post. Daisy Fuentes like my post.

Daisy Fuentes like, I know. She's like, what? But then, you know, Astrid went out. She asked if she could go have a girl's movie night, whatever. And I was like, okay, whatever, go have a day. And they went and saw Wuthering Heights. Wuthering Heights. Right, right, right.

And her friend took a, like, there's a big movie poster out front where the two leads are kissing. And so they made it look like Astrid was kissing the guy. And then she sends it to me with like a little laugh emoji and I'm like, yeah, funny. Interesting. Fuck you. Fuck you. I saw an interview with that guy. He's the same guy who played Frankenstein and the new Frankenstein.

Wait, I thought, no, Jacob, whatever his name is, isn't he the guy from Eucharia? Frankenstein. And Euphoria? I think you might be right about Euphoria. He's the bad guy in Euphoria. Yeah, but he is the Frankenstein and the new one. Okay, I did not know that. Del Toro, Guillermo Del Toro.

I thought the new Frankenstein. was Christian Bale. No. No? Christian Bale isn't in Frankenstein? The bride of Frankenstein? Maybe he's the creator. Maybe he's the guy.

In any case. Yeah. Tom et tant, tit for tat. I got Daisy Fuentes. You can have your Jacob. I got Daisy Fuentes on my side. Daisy Fuentes is just like, there's just this golden age of MTV. Right before.

Yeah, I know. The only reality show was the real world. Yeah. And we all thought it was highly entertaining because no one knew they were going to be celebrities. cared that they were going to be. It was a grand experiment in taping real life. And everything else was just gold. You could turn on. They would be absolutely tastemaking, absolutely pushing their agenda, absolutely pushing the record shops agendas. I got it. I understood it. I understood it

very early on that if you wanted to find independent music, it wasn't going to be on MTV unless it was after midnight. I understood that. But I didn't care because I'd watch that shit all fucking day It was entertaining. Yes. House of fashion would come on, and Daisy Fuentes would be there hosting it, and I was in love. And I think that's part of why the reason why I got, like, some of you may not know this. You may know this. You probably know this.

I actually love fashion. I like high fashion. Yeah, you do. I like the whole universe. I've had friends that have worked in the universe at high levels. I like the whole, and I think part of the reason why it was so alluring to me was because Daisy Pointer. Those formative years. Yes, those formative years, 13, 14.

15, 15 years old when Daisy Fuentes is in my fucking bedroom with me talking about high fashion. And I am talking back to her like I know it. So this is all to say that Daisy, she didn't follow me. Congratulations. She didn't follow me. I wish she had followed me. And either didn't Kristen Chenow with. But I guess, you know, why would they follow me?

Like, why would they? Yeah, well, some of the celebrities don't follow them. No, no, no, no, no. They don't. You get a follow from them. You are on their level. Yeah, you're on their level. Yeah.

Or you're a repeat offender. Like they go, oh, this guy's put out a bunch of stuff. Yeah. And, you know, there are plenty of Venezuelan celebrities to follow me. There's only one problem. I don't know who they are. I thought Astrid was telling you. Astrid tells me or Gustavo will say to me.

Oh, my God, dude, this guy. And I'm like, oh, my God, dude, that guy. Cool, dude. I love your burgeoning Instagram celebrity. Yeah, I think I'm so far from it, though. like, you know, okay, lay the cartel on the table. When we started our Instagram account with the commercial break, it took us about a year to get a thousand followers or longer, a year or longer to get a thousand followers, even though

we had tens of thousands of listeners. And then even when we, even as we were getting hundreds of thousands of listeners, it still wasn't at 5,000. It was like, it was such a difficult thing to get people to just go and follow us. And to be fair, we weren't putting out anything super interesting anyway. I don't think we've posted on that account in like two weeks. No. We talked about doing some fun stuff. Yeah, we got to get, yeah, we got to get back to it. Or just get to it in general. Yeah, get to it in general, not back to it. Did you ever have it to lose? I lost my touch. Did you ever have a touch to lose? But you see these numbers. You go, oh, if we could get to 5,000. I remember that was a big deal for us for all. If we get to 5,000, and then it took us another year and we finally got to 5,000. And then, oh, we get to 7,000.

But then you realize, and then you go look at like Kristen Chenowitz's account. She's got like 1.9 million people following her. And you realize that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you have 5,000 or 20,000 or 50,000. You don't turn into a celebrity because you have 20,000 Instagram followers. It doesn't happen like that. That's just 20,000 people that happen to think you were cute on a certain day. And I don't mean cute, like handsome.

I mean cute. Like, you know, oh, he's, he's funny. That's funny. I'll give him a follow. Maybe he'll say something else funny later on down the road. Yeah, and you want to be notified of it. Yeah, because some of these people, I mean, they're just hundreds of millions of people following. It's insane to think about. But, you know, the real truth is, is that a lot of these accounts, it's just fake followers anyway.

Oh, that's right. That's all it is. We looked into it. Yeah, we looked into it. Kim Kardashian has like 38% fake followers. 38%. Now, the 5062 that are. real is still a hundred million more than we will ever have. But, you know, the truth is

that it's just a game. There's so many people playing that game and that's all it is. So, you know, I'll let you know when I get to a million. Okay. I'll update you when I get to a, when I get to a million, we'll have a party. How's that? Oh, for sure. And it'll probably be a decade from now. Maybe when we get down to that villages, people will start liking me by the hundreds. Yes. We could put out some good ones from down there, but. I bet when we get down there, Beep, my little golf cart. Well, this is probably what we're going to be hearing. Doing drugs.

5.30. Dinner at 5.30. There's going to be a guy down there like that. You know, there is. There's going to be a guy. Oh, for sure. Yeah, no question. No question.

It was a guy at Starbucks a couple days ago. Coffee boyfriend was out of town. It was a guy at Starbucks a couple of days ago. And he's sitting down at the end of the bar, and I'm sitting down there waiting for a cup of coffee. And he goes, excuse me. And I go, yes. Like me, who, me, yes. Excuse me.

Where do we know each other from? And I was like, I don't know. Where do we know each other from? I think we had met it to publics on previous occasions. And I was like, that's a weird way to say it. I go, oh, maybe we saw each other at a public. In the cereal aisle? Yeah, in the cereal aisle, the hot dog aisle.

I'm not sure. What? I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, it's like a weird, you know. There have been occasions when I believe we have met at the Publix. And I was like, I don't think so, but, you know, hey, nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah.

Good to see you. Your name is Jason. No, it's not. It's Brian. When we met, it was Jason. When we met, it was Jason. And then I'm starting to realize. maybe I'm not dealing with a full deck here.

And I was like, ah, yeah, no, it's always been Brian, but some people say I look like a Jason. Well, my memory does not, what do you say? He goes, my memory does not deserve me. And I was like, well, this, okay, all right. Well, listen, it's Brian, but thank you very much for the kind words. I really appreciate. And if I see you at Publix, I'll say hi again. I'm not attending that Publix any longer.

I go, oh, okay. something happened. And now I realize I'm about to get story time. And I was like, oh, okay, well, you know, sometimes you go to different grocery stores. Yeah. I slipped and I fell. And I'm considering legal action. Oh, God.

And I was like, oh, okay, well, I hope you're feeling better. Good luck with that. Yeah, he goes, I'm not. It's like getting roped into this. And I just want my cup of coffee. Quick, get the coffee. And I go, oh, well, that's, I'm really sad to hear that, man. Listen, you know, sometimes you, sometimes things happen, you know.

Things wouldn't have happened had they put their milk away appropriately. I was like, oh my God, I'm really going down this aisle. This guy started in on a whole thing. And he had this weird, like, low-toned voice. And he was like this old man where one eye was like half shut. And I thought to myself, I got to get out of here. I got to get out of here. So coffee comes. He's in the middle of telling me. how the milk had spilled and he had come around the corner and he had slipped and fallen and hurt in his knee and he went to the doctor and this whole nine yards. And I said, well, listen, it's really nice to meet you. You never asked my name. And I go, I'm sorry. What was your name? Jason. No, he did.

He did. And I go, oh, Jason. So you thought I was Jason and you were a Jason. How else do you think I would have remembered your name? I well I I I'm very nice to meet you I'm sorry about all the drama at the public's I hope the next grocery store you go to doesn't have the milk spilled in the middle of the aisle yeah it's illegal for them to do that you know he's like a pirate you know I'll talk you later Jason thanks so much wait I forgot to tell you what happened earlier no no no got to go lots of kids take care of podcasts to do you have a podcast you say so do I It's called Jason on Jason. Jason. It was the weirdest exchange.

So then I go in like the next day. And the girl who was behind the counter that day was behind the counter this day. And I say, hey, listen, did you see that guy that was talking to me the other day? She goes, oh, yeah, yeah. Anytime he comes in, we pray that he doesn't sit at the counter. And I go, why? And she goes, because he will take up all your time with his stories. We think he's a little cuckoo.

And I was like, yeah, he was like, thought I was Jason, and he said he was Jason. And she goes, his name's not Jason. I go, it's not. She goes, no, it's like John or something. It's definitely not Jason. And I'm like, okay, next time he comes in, you see what name he puts on that cup, right? Well, then a week passes. I see the girl again.

And she's like, John, it was John. And I go, his name's John, and he told me his name with Jason. And she goes, again, I think he's just kind of cookie. She goes, he comes once a week. It's usually in the evening time. And I was like, oh, I can't bad luck on me. Jason, I slipped on the milk in the public. My memory does not deserve me.

My memory does not deserve me was one of the weirdest sentences I have ever heard. And I have heard a lot of weird sentences. They usually come out of my own mouth, if you know what I mean. Yes. All right, let's take a short break. And we'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief.

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us, 212-4333-3-TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, TCB Podcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian?

That really wasn't that difficult, now was it? You're welcome. Britney Spears got a DUI in Los Angeles. Last night, I think it was yesterday, last night and then went straight to rehab after that. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Well, like we've, first of all, like we've said before many times, why are you driving yourself?

You should never be driving yourself. Why are you driving yourself and you're drinking? You are a billionaire. You just sold like half of your catalog for like half a million dollars. Yeah, it's not like you can't afford a private driver. That's just, I mean, a chef and a private driver. would be the first thing. You got the world on your shoulders, kids.

There is no reason. I am flat broke and I wouldn't drive drunk. I just wouldn't do it. I don't know if I told the story about how we went to the Bachelor Party. And we went to the Bachelor Party and we had to drive that road to and from from the casino down to the cabin, the house that we were staying in. that road was the most unbelievably curvy, dark, tiny road. Yeah, those mountain roads up there in the Blue Ridge Mountains are really nefarious. Really nefarious.

And I wouldn't even, not even on half, not with half a beer in me what I have driven that road. Because driving and drinking at my age, I understand, is a terribly dangerous game to play. And all as it takes is one half a second of bad reaction time. And you're done for it. And Brittany Spears is how much money she has, like half a billion dollars? She is half a billion dollars, $499,99,99 richer than I am. And she can afford a fucking full-time driver, a full-time security guard. Isn't she have a security guard with her?

I think so. I don't know really her situation. I thought she was down in Mexico. She was down in Mexico. But I guess she was in L.A. doing something. Maybe signing the deal, I don't know, or, you know, doing some business or something like that. But Brittany has been a cuckoo bird for a long time. And I don't say that flippantly.

She obviously has mental health issues. She really does need someone on her side. And so I think rehab is the best place for her. Maybe not because she needs help with alcohol. I don't know. Maybe she does. Maybe she doesn't. But because the poor girl needs someone to help her stay stable and sane.

She is not well. And I really feel for her and her family. That's a tough one. when you have the world's most famous girl, lady, woman, is out there, you know, juggling knives and dancing naked and dog shit in the floor and, you know, living like a hoarder. I know. Yeah. But they don't live with her. No.

Yeah. No. They live with Kevin. Who thought Kevin Federline was going to be the sane one in the group? I mean, when Kevin Federline looks completely normal compared to you, something is wrong. It's Kevin fucking Federline. You may not remember, but when Kevin Fetterline hit the scene, hit the scene, we were all like, no, Brittany, no, not Kevin fucking Fedorline. It's a mess. But now he's like, dad of the year. Because he's taken care of those two kids. And, you know, and seems to be doing well with them, at least by all accounts, I don't know how many accounts there are, but the last time I read, he was being a good father to the kids, to the boys. And maybe because he's smartened the fuck up and realize that if he does it the right way here,

he'll never have to work another day in his life. And he'll have two really cool kids, right? Exactly. But, you know, Brittany's down in Mexico with dog poop in the background, clothes strewn all over the place. Those videos are bizarre. Living like a hoarder, you know, weirdly editing videos where she's dancing by herself in various stages of dress and undress. Normally, I would say, live your life, kid. but this woman has so many resources and so much talent, and it's a shame, I think.

Yeah, it seemed like when she had the Sam Ashogi, or was that his name? Yeah, her fiance. Yeah, it seemed like there was a stability there. Something. I was excited for that. True north. Yeah, because I think that's when she was getting done with the conservatorship, and then they might have already been engaged, but they at least got engaged after that.

I was like, okay, good, this looks good. She's going to be good. Yeah. And then, boom, they break up. Yeah. What a fucking, it's a tale's old as time. Talented people, creative types. Sometimes they don't always have their heads screwed on the right way, at least according

to the rest of the world, right? And this is a woman who could live her life honestly the way that she wants to for the rest of her life. And if making weird videos was the worst thing that was going on, I would say live your fuck. Do you do you, kid? That's your creative outlet. Driving drunk and dancing with knives and not seeing your children. and all that stuff, it seems like a shame.

It seems like time is a wasting, and she's going to get older, and it's going to turn into a really sad story. It's already a sad story, but it's going to turn into even sadder story, and something terrible is going to happen. So I really hope that Brittany gets the help that she needs. I hope she gets medication, help, therapy, whatever it is. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with medication. That really? No, no. No.

Listen, if you walked in tomorrow and a bone was sticking out of your arm, I would not have fault you for taking some oxygontin and getting your arm wrapped, right? But mental illness is the disease you cannot visualize. It's only one that can, it's only one that the person who's experiencing it sometimes or sometimes not can identify. And so when you are so mentally ill and so visible, it just becomes a really sad story that the rest of the world is kind of shit watching you, right and I really hope that she can get some help so too I'm rooting for her me too because here's the truth people love those fucking songs I don't not my thing but people love those fucking songs that she made people love the way that she danced people loved all that shit there are Britney Spears fans from here until the end of the world she could be as popular as backstreet boys doing the sold out night after night after night of the sphere she could be as popular as I don't know you know Jenny Ortega whoever you name it she she could be she she could be she could be just as popular out on the road if that's what she choose to do, making new music if that's what she chooses to do, all that other stuff. She could be independent and successful and productive

and using all of that talent and that creativity in a way that benefited her and the fans if she chose to do that. But right now, I think she's kind of trapped in a cycle of mental illness, right? And drinking and drugs also. So it's just, it's just terribly sad to me. And I hope that she gets the help that she needs. I don't really have a dog in the fight with Britney Spears, but we have all now watched it play out year after year, month after month, you know, get her out of the conservatorship, put her back in the conservatorship, get free Britney. Somebody needs to check on Britney. Yeah, it's like, Jesus Christ. I know. Yeah, she must be really mind-fucked, honestly. She must be really mindful to watch all that stuff go down. Yeah, I watched

some documentary on her a while back. I think while all the conservatorship stuff was going on, And there were a couple of documentaries. And, yeah, I mean, from where she came from to the Mickey Mouse Club and then her own breakout star. And something happened along the way. Yeah. I mean, either something bad happened and she's got some kind of mental illness by PTSD, which is not uncommon. Or she got mentally ill as she grew into her 20s, which is also not uncommon. That's when it shows itself, right?

It's usually in your late teens or early 20s. And to have all that fame, all of that. Money, power, drugs, booze, and all that. Hangers on. Yeah. Yeah. They're like Britney Spears can't get some drugs. I was watching Stivo.

You know, Steve-O is our very first interview ever here on the commercial break of a celebrity. I mean, notable. Yeah. Well. Well, celebrity you would know, right? That's that. That's right. Veer Das was honest.

Beer does. Yeah. Good old beer. Pillow guy. Yeah, pillow guy. The My Pillow guy. The Indian version. But Stivo was like the first American celebrity that we had on.

And I wish I had more time with Stivo because I would have talked to him about a lot more things. But I was just lucky I got through the interview if I'm being honest. But Steve-O, I follow him on social media and I've been watching a lot. He's been talking a lot about his sobriety lately. Oh, right. And if you remember, if you recall, not too long ago, 15 years ago, there were MTV cameras in Stivo's apartment. as Steveo, night after night, day after day, for months on end, snorted cocaine, took Xanax,

did whippets, smoked crack, snorted heroin. I mean, the guy was a walking, talking Hunter S. Thompson without Hunter S. Thompson's ability to control himself. He was a hard, core drug addict, and he was hallucinating and seeing things. He was clearly mentally ill, clearly mentally ill. I forgot about that. Yeah. On MTV?

It was on MTV. Okay. Yeah, or VH1, one of the two. I can't remember. VH1, I think, was showing all the, like, celebrity drug porn. Yes. Celebrity drug porn, I guess would be the best way to put it. Watching all the celebrities crash and burn, and they were filming it for ratings.

Yeah. Which was good TV, by the way. And so, Steve O is now reflecting on that time in his life and sharing kind of insight and information. He said he went through about 100 failed interventions in that time period, that there were people left and right. that were intervening. He said, honestly, I started staying at my apartment, not because I didn't want to go out, but because every time I would go out, someone was trying to do an intervention

on me. Yeah. And so time after time again, Steve O hit his head against the wall. And now Steve O sounds like kind of like an elder statesman for sobriety. I would have never thought. Again, Kevin Federline and Steve O are making sense. We're all fucked, right? Steve O knows what this is like to go through this cycle where, you know, you are loved and lauded for all the things that you do. Celebrity, fame, and wealth come very quickly. You are in the spotlight and you have no control over yourself. You're just acting the fool because you believe that's what people want to see. Brittany believes that she needs to be the center of the circus because she always has been the center of the circus.

But she's, I believe, probably using drugs and alcohol to calm the things that are going on in her mind, just like Steve O did, just to an extreme. But Steve O is a shining example of how, with a little bit of help and a long road to walk, you can get to a point where, you know, you're fine, you're okay. Yeah. And I really applaud Steve O for the turnaround because I got to be honest. I watch that VH in one show like everybody else did with my mouth wide open, knowing what it's like to be that higher, that fucked up, knowing, been there, done that.

and wondering how he did that night after night after night after day after day after day. And he survived it. He survived it. And he's actually doing okay. Good for Steve-O. You can come back on, Steve-O, if you want to. Yeah, it's amazing to have more health problems. He's got a lot of health problems.

Oh, okay. Yeah, he's got a lot of health problems. But he's knocking it out once a time. The only thing that I say to Steve-O is through all of this, you've had really nice teeth. Congratulations. Even when you were way fucked up, you always had really nice teeth. Veneers. I think they're going in to do a jackass eight, actually.

And, you know, Johnny Knoxville now had a stroke. So he's a little slower than he used to be. I saw him on a couple of interviews. But he seems to be doing okay. But they're going to go do Jackass 8. Guys. No. We don't need it.

You got plenty. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not asking for that. No. I know that there are people that are asking for it, but I'm not asking for it. And apparently, Bam, Margera is in conversation to return to Jackass 8. There's another one.

There's another shining example of a hot fucking mess. He needs to get his shit together and apparently is. So, rooting for all of you guys, rooting for all of you. Listen, grass is greener on the other side in some small circumstances in life. And this is one of them. When you hit that wall of mental illness or, you know, addiction, you can turn it around. It's okay. There's never too late.

All right. So that's Brian's soapbox for the day, I guess. Brittany's a cautionary tale to you, Brian. I mean, once your celebrity just explodes on Instagram. Once I reach a male. Don't lose sight of things and just go wild. I'm trying not to lose sight of the small people, even as Daisy Fuentes, in her late 50s, is clearly now enthralled with Brian. Yes.

Kristen Chenowith and Daisy Fuentes like my post. I need to watch this. And then a bunch of Venezuelan celebrities, who I love just as much, I just don't know who you are. I'm sure you're famous in Venezuela. All right. Okay. All right. Chrissy and I are going to take a short break and then we're going to come right back. Doubling up.

Doubling up today. Clickety-clackety, chiropractity. Chiropractic. Chiropractic. Those clickers. I think my grandmother had one of them. Oh, they're so easy to find. Yeah.

Well, the guy, the joke. She was like using it on her hip and stuff. Are there sciatic nerve or something? Wow. You know. Doesn't work. No. It doesn't work.

Cyan nerve is. flaring up. Vicodin works. That's what works. Speaking of addiction, Vicodin, take lots of it. Yeah, all right. So we'll come back.

We'll talk more about the weekend plans, all the comings and goings. While the world burns around us, Chrissy and I continue to do shows. Hey, don't worry about it. Everything's going to be fun. Keeping some sort of sanity first. Yeah, honestly.

What are there like 22 countries now involved in the current war. By Candlecane, see you soon. Thanks for joining it. Yeah, it's insane. It's insane. Speaking of insanity. Speaking of people who may or may not need to go see a therapist.

That'll never happen. Yeah, no. That dog's too old to change its spots, I'm afraid, Chrissy. All right. At the commercial break on Instagram, you want to follow me personally, see what all the noise is about. at Brian W. Green. If you go to our commercial break page,

you can connect with both Chrissy and I at TCB Chrissy at Brian W. Green. And I've also got a substack if you want to follow that now, too. Feel free. Be one of 12. Follow me on Sunstack. I'm following you on Substack.

Well, thank you. I appreciate it. TCB Podcast.com, all the audio, all the video right there from one location, no must, no fuss. You can also get your free T-CB sticker. You know we're still getting requests from free stickers from that fucking website. No, really? Yes.

It's cycled in again. It's cycled in again. Oh, my God. And we got like another 100 request. Fuck you guys. Yeah, and YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Chrissy and I live stream there Tuesdays and Thursdays about 1 p.m. Eastern Standard time. Okay, Chrissy.

That's all I can do for now. I think so. Tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you in the podcast and streaming audience. Until next time,

Chrissy and I will say. We do say and we must say. Goodbye.