The Commercial Break - Co-sella Season!

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

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On this episode of the commercial break. That, to me, defeats the whole fucking purpose. If you're going to go out there and rough it for the weekend and get high on peyote and special K and designer drugs with all your friends and really tough it out, make it a gritty kind of experience. You know, have a little few creature comforts. A cooler with beer. That's like the extent to which I would pre-plan anything. But a whole closet system that you bought on T-Moo that you're bringing to this.

Gajala for your tent that you could stand two people up in, literally a 20-foot high tent with a fucking ceiling fan. That's unbelievable. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 5.30! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Haudley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us my favorite time of year. It's Coach Sheila time. Oh, it's in all our feeds everywhere.

There's low-key dates going on. Like Kim Kardashian could have a low-key date at Coachella. Yeah, like she wants to have a low-key date at Coachella. It's a coming-out party for all the people who are invited. And that does not include Chrissy or I. As much of a spinfluencer as I've become on Instagram, I have not yet received my Coachella invite. But, you know, hey, good for those who can.

Good for those who do. Looks like a wonderful, obnoxiously obnoxious time for everybody involved. Yeah, I would actually rather watch it on TV. Yeah, I'd rather never go. I don't want to be in the desert. No, I don't want to be in the desert. It looks like a wind-swept sandy affair where it's just influencers in the wild. You know what I'm saying?

Everywhere, like a zoo with no cages full of influencers and their puckered lips and their pretty tits and their, you know, their bikinis and nipples hanging out of, nipples of flow, and everyone in their day glow outfits running around hoping they catch a whiff of Justin Trudeau or Neely Cyrus. That's right. I did see that Katie Perry was there. Katie Perry was there making fun of Justin Bieber. Right.

She was saying, thank God he got the premium subscription. Because it was YouTube. Did you watch it? No, but I was reading about it. So it was like a big YouTube purpose. I saw a couple minutes of it. That's what he did. He YouTube did. He YouTube did.

Okay. He YouTube did. He went back through his YouTube and started pressing play on certain videos and then would sing along to the whatever it was he was doing. It's kind of lame. Okay. Yeah. I mean, he brought out all these people and, you know, okay. All right.

Whatever. Justin's clearly not right. But he's also been in the limelight since he was a kid. And you just can't expect people who are child stars to be level-headed. It's just not a thing. It doesn't exist. Name one child star who's level-headed. Miley Cyrus, I think, is as close as we're ever going to come to a well-adjusted,

and that's questionable. Yeah. At least she seems to have her head on her shoulders. She's a smart cat. I like her a lot. I really do. Anyway, she didn't play, but, you know, Justin Trudeau and Katie Perry are there, eating their soba noodles from the backstage area and making fun of Justin Be There.

Jack White's performance is great. I mean, he puts on such a great show. He filled in for somebody, apparently. Yeah, he did, right. Somebody got sick or couldn't make it or whatever. So they gave him 45 minutes, and I read that that was the best 45 minutes Coachella has ever had. And I would agree with that. I don't know.

I didn't think Jack White would be a Coachella kind of dude. But I guess when someone says, hey, here's a million and a half dollars fly in for the weekend, play 45 minutes. I'd probably say yes, too. You know? I'd sound like I have anything specifically against Coachella. Great. It's a big two-week festival in the desert. But it just has gotten so obnoxious.

online. Because the only thing that you ever hear about Coachella, it's not ever music focus. Yeah, it's just who's there. Yeah, it's about which perks are you getting because this person or that company sent you on their behalf to go there. I just was watching a girl who said, follow me as I get into the most amazing guest house at Coachella. And I thought it said guest house. It was actually guest house. So the company guests had sent her there. And the crazy thing is, is I funded the compound of houses she is staying at. Like when I worked in commercial real estate, I funded these compounds. So I knew exactly where she was staying because I had seen many blueprints and stuff like that.

It's beautiful, but it's obnoxiously branded guests. And there's like, you know, 28, 20-something women in their bikinis laying around this big pool. It's all for show. It's all for clicks. And listen, that is the economy. That is the transaction economy that we live in, the click economy that we live in. I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at you playing the game. If somebody offered me a couple thousand dollars to go stay at a nice house for the weekend and take pictures, I'd likely do it also. Maybe I'm just jealous that I didn't get invited. I'm going to see Jack White and Coachella. Yeah, I mean, I guess if you think about it, sure, if you got all these great perks and things, yeah, we would go. But like just me saying, I really want to go.

Spend $4,000 to go to Coachella and get sand in your ass? No, I'm good. I'm going to Coachella to see Diplo! Diplo! Diplo! Yeah, and that's the other thing, too. I was watching, I got like in a black hole of video. I couldn't sleep last night. I got in a black hole of videos of, you know,

glamp out with me at Coachella of all of these people who are just like so, I mean, I can't imagine, I know this happens at Bonner. Must happen at Bonner. But I can't imagine like 2003 Mountain Jam put on by 33 productions. Jam land. Jam land productions.

Yeah, I can't imagine. Anybody bringing a portable air conditioner and their own masseuse. Right. A whole closet system that they set up and lights and fans. One lady brought an overhead fan. An overhead fan that was run

by an electrical cord. She brought an air conditioning system and an overhead fan for her 55,000 square foot tent that she set up in the middle of wherever it is she is. It's just that, to me, defeats the whole fucking purpose. If you're going to go out there and rough it for the weekend and get high on peyote and special K and designer drugs with all your friends and really tough it out, make it a gritty kind

of experience, you know, have a little few creature comforts, a cooler with beer. That's like the extent to which I would pre-plan anything. But a whole closet system that you bought on T-Mu that you're bringing to Coachella. It's wild. For your tent that you could stand two people up in, literally a 20 foot high tent with a fucking ceiling fan. That's unbelievable. That is a level of preparation for an event that I just... It's like those safari tents.

Yeah, it's insane. But, you know, you say all this and then Coachella does it year after year with high success and high visibility, even though it's kind of obnoxious and everybody knows it's obnoxious. It gates a lot of attention. It really does. It is the place to be seen. If you're anybody, then you want to be there. Is this the 20th year? Did I see that somewhere? Might be. It might be.

Sounds about right, I guess. 20 years. Yeah. Two weekends. Am I right? They still do it two weekends, I think. Yeah, yeah. Now you can watch it on Amazon or something.

Something like that. Amazon Netflix. It's on, at least part of it you can watch. Because you can never get a ticket to it. So fucking expensive. People wait years to get tickets, like to get an actual ticket to Coachella.

I don't think that happens. I think you have to like buy it through a broker or know somebody or something. Like the masters. Yeah, it's like the master. which was this weekend also. Yes. Rory back to back. Back to back.

Only the fourth person to do it. Good for him. Yeah, good for him. I did. It was, I was ambivalent, quite frankly, going into Sunday. I just was glad that it wasn't Rory

by eight shots going into Sunday to make it a completely boring experience, which happens from time to time at the Masters. And then Sunday, it takes the bite out of Sunday. Yeah, because Sunday's the day to really watch it. Yeah. Moving day on Saturday is always, it can be exciting.

But when someone pulls away, it doesn't happen very often. But when it does, it takes the bite out of Sunday. You don't get as excited about watching on Sunday. But I was watching, we were at a barbecue. We went over to my brother's house. And then I went to a barbecue with a bunch of Venezuelans and Latinos and Latinos. And they had no fucking clue what I was talking about. Yeah.

But even they were watching and, you know, like, oh, okay, there you go. That's exciting. It's such a beautiful course. I was going to say it's beautiful. The scenery is beautiful. So for those who know, every year, the men, Masters is put on. And traditionally, even though it's probably one of the most watched sporting events of any year, I have to imagine. It makes CBS millions upon millions upon millions of dollars. It makes

the Augusta National Golf Course and Country Club hundreds of millions of dollars every year. It is just an event like no other. If you've ever had the chance to go, you will truly understand what the Masters is all about. No cell phones, no yelling and screaming, no T-shirt, No sandals. I mean, this is like the type of place where they keep the country club aesthetic. And there's some kind of magic that's happening on that golf course every year. It's just beautiful. You've seen it on TV. It's the greenest thing you've ever seen. I know there's a shit ton of chemicals put on the. I know it's Chuck full of chemicals. But they manage when the flowers bloom there. I know. The azaleas. Yeah, that is how Disney-esque the Masters is. They are literally fucking with Mother Nature. to make it perfect every year. And it almost always is. The exclusivity of Augusta National is hard to describe. And I was lucky enough to know somebody whose father was a member there. And I got tickets for a number of years. And I went. And I was really taken by the whole thing, by the whole experience.

And on a couple of occasions, I managed to get behind the ropes for one reason or another. Of course you did. Yeah. Yeah. with Will Ferrell. Yes. True story. True story. By the way, Will Ferrell's now

going to do a comedy on Netflix, I guess, about golfing. Oh, great. So full circle for me. I was like, okay, that's great. But my younger brother,

Patrick is definitely the golf officiado and the family. I love the sport. I cannot play it for shit, but I love it. And I have children. I don't play golf anymore.

Between my back and my children, I can't handle it. Like my wife would give me five hours. on the Saturday. No. I'd be in so much trouble. I'd be digging out of that for years.

I mean, every once in a blue moon, she actually encourages it. I think she wants to get me out of her hair. Go golfing with your brothers. But like every weekend or twice a week like I used to do, not happening. But so Patrick goes to the Masters this last Friday. Oh, he did? Yeah, he did. Not unusual.

I think he finds a way to get there every year one way or the other. And he can afford a ticket if he wants a ticket. He can go. But he goes and he goes with a friend. So yesterday, it's Sunday, and he's going to put on. a Mett Little Master's viewing party. And I get there early in the day, 1.30. And Patrick and his girlfriend, Sam, they have shipped in.

I guess you can do this now. They have shipped in Augusta National Food, the actual pimento cheese for the pimento cheese sandwiches, the actual egg salad for the egg salad sandwiches and the pork, barbecued pork for the pulled park sandwiches along with potato chips and cookies and accoutreement, like, you know, the paper, you wrap the sandwiches. sandwiches in, all from Augusta National, like directly from them. It came in a box, said Augusta National. That's smart marketing. They find a way. They really are smart marketers there. And you know what the number, you know, you know the thing you'll stand longest in line for

at Augusta National has nothing to do with any golfing. It's to get into the pro shop. Yes, the merch, which is like a 150,000 square foot tent that is put up in the back of the golf course and people wait in line for hours to get in there, and they clean the place out. They take hundreds of, you know, some people will go in, and they'll have orders from like 50 friends. Oh, yeah. It's just a thing. It's a tradition every year. A lot of people go and they get their new master's gear. That's what they do. The gnomes, I was reading.

The gnomes go fast. You got to get on the gnomes. Yeah, you got to get on a gnome. If you want a gnome, you got to get on them a year. You got to get on them quick. So Patrick goes. So then I go into Patrick's house yesterday. I'm pretty impressed by all the actual masters, masters gear, the, the, the, cups, the plastic cups, like the whole thing, you know, the little, the little master's toothpicks that you put in the sandwiches. It's all very impressive. I was like, wow, okay, great. And there's a guy there, and Patrick introduces him, a friend. I've never met the guy before. And so I said, hey, how was your time on Friday? And he said, it was great. We got a tour of Butler Cabin.

And I was like, what? So CBS has been doing the Masters forever and likely will do it forever. They have limited commercial interruptions. They have two sponsors. sponsors. IBM Mercedes-Bends. It's been that way for years. And Rolex. Oh, in Rolex, too. Yeah, yeah. Rolex does. You're right. But Rolex is like a minor sponsor. The two big ones are IBM and Mercedes. And I think they do like one two-minute commercial break an hour during the Sunday coverage and like two on Saturday coverage. They're not paying for how many times their logo gets flashed. They're paying for the exclusivity of being abutted to the Masters. That's right. And in this way, the Masters coverage has always been done correctly. by CBS. And so if they keep on doing it that way, I think they'll, they'll be there for a long time.

But now, used to be ESPN would carry a couple extra hours of coverage each day. And then CBS CBS would cover some two prime time hours, Thursday and Friday, and then six hours of coverage, Saturday, seven hours of coverage on Sunday. Well, now, Prime, Amazon Prime, will carry all of the, they carry like five different channels, starts at 9.30 in the morning. You can stream. Amen Corner, featured groups. I'm probably speaking French to a lot of people out there, but just trust me that this is going somewhere. So CBS every year has the exclusive right to Jim Nance, the guy, like the main guy who does the coverage, has the exclusive right to ESPN to be in downstairs, in Butler's cabin next to a fireplace where they will talk to golfers. And then where they present the green jacket.

Where they present the green jacket. The old winner presents the new winner. Or in this case, you know, shake myself's hand. Yeah, Rory, present Rory. But it's kind of one of those traditions that if you've watched a lot of the master's coverage, you go, oh, the Butler's cabin, that's cool, right? Yeah. And they're in an actual cabin.

It's not a set. They're in the cabin. Butler's cabin. Butler was a guy who was a train magnate from the Northeast. And when Augusta National was in a lot of financial trouble, long time ago back in the 30s or 40s, they were in financial trouble. The course wasn't terrible management. The Masters was not what it is today.

like an invitational golf tournament, not a major. That train magnet, Mr. Butler, he said, magnet, he said, I'll fund the repairs and some stuff that needs to be done on the course, but you're going to build me. I want a cabin right off the golf course because I don't want to take a train up and down, you know, I want to, if I'm going to be here, I want to be here. I want to be on the course. Yeah. And so they built Butler's cabin, probably one of the oldest cabins that sits there. There's a bunch of them, but probably one of the oldest ones and probably the most prestigious. And Patrick is telling me he got a tour of Butler Cabin, which I'm like, you're full of fucking shit.

No one goes a Butler's Cabin. They're doing CBS coverage in there. He says, no, no, no, no, no. This guy's uncle, and he points to the guy in the corner who I just met, this guy's uncle is one of the members on the telecommunications committee inside of Augusta National. And he has been staying in Butler's Cabin the week of the Masters every year, 50,000. 15 years in a row. Wow. Staying there? Invited us. Staying there. It's an eight bedroom. It's an eight bedroom cabin.

I did not know this. It's been renovated, obviously, since when it was there. 30s or 40s. But when you're a member of Augusta National, and I think there are hundreds of members now that are still living, when you're a member of Augusta National, and I did know this because I knew someone who was a member. When you are a member, you have a job on Master's Week, and you can choose how involved you get. You can be on a committee. or you can be out walking amongst the patrons telling people to go left or go right or whatever, just generally being a host of the tournament. This guy apparently has volunteered to be on the telecommunications committee. The committee that decides where the cameras are going to be placed, how much they're going to pay for the television rights,

who is Prime going to get this and CBS is going to get that, whatever. I don't know all the details. I didn't talk to the actual guy. But he has been on that committee for 15 years. And when you're on a committee, you can choose or you can ever. asked to be in a cabin and they will put you up in the cabin for the week so you're on the grounds, on site, something happens, you're there, whatever. And then when you get it, you just stay there until you decide you don't want to be on the committee or you're just too old to do it

anymore. Really? Yeah. And so 15 years running, this guy has been inside staying in Butler's cabin. What an amazing fucking story. So there's a lot more to it. I talked to the guy for a few minutes. He was regaling us with the story. Yeah, I bet you made your way back over to him after he figured out Yeah, I did. Yeah, I told them if he, if his uncle needed any help next year to let me know that I was a telecommunications expert as my phone is always in my hand. I could walk around the course and get covered. You yourself are a magnate, if you will. I am a magnet, that's right. I am a podcast magnet. I don't think they put, I think they put me at like the where the Hooters used to do. The Hooters closed down. They used to be the most popular. They used to say that John Day.

John Daley, the famous drunk golfer, the biggest personality in all of sports, I think, quite frankly. He always had a party, an informal party at the Hooters across the street from Augusta National was there for decades. It's not there anymore. They closed it. But they saved him a seat. He was in the corner of the bar watching the golf and doing his own commentary.

I'm sure he was. Yeah. That would have been fun. I went to that Hooters one time during, during. the Masters Week. I went there to go have some, I think it was lunch or dinner or something. I did not see John Daly, but the place was so packed. We ended up leaving after getting a beer. Yeah, it was like a 14-hour wait. I was like, yeah. I bet those girls made some money. Oh, you got to imagine they did. All those, you know, drunk white idiots coming in there and just laying on it, lay it in on thick.

But anyway, this was an amazing story. And Patrick said they got a whole tour of Butler's cabin, all the bedrooms. Incredible. They got to go downstairs and look at the where the fire side. Yeah, the fire side. Yeah. And I just thought that's amazing. Yeah. Wingback chairs from 1972. Yeah. It's a tradition like no other. And if you're into it, then you know.

And if you're not into it, then it just seems stupid. But, you know, there's lots of stupid. There's stupider shit to be a part of in this world than the masters. Just for a few hours, you could forget about the craziness that is the world. Yeah. The double secret blockade that's happening right now in the Straits of Four Moves. I mean, what in the world are we doing? Threatening the Pope.

Yeah. threatening the Pope, double secret probation on the Straits of Four Moves. He's down at his golf club hitting on, you know, 18-year-old women. I just don't even know when are we going to decide Republicans? Because I think most anybody else, even independents like me have long since hitched our wagon somewhere else. When are we going to decide that something must be done? And what must be done is he must go. He must go.

He's too old. He's too crazy. and he's too psychopathic to be in office. He's dangerous. He's killing the economy. He's making the world a more dangerous place. He's full of fucking shit. And he doesn't know up from down.

He just does a double secret blockade. What do we do? It was already blockaded. Why are we now doing more blockades? You can't win this particular war like this. You cannot. You have to sit down at the negotiation table and figure out how you get to from point A to point B. but bombing the shit out of them.

They are way more well prepared than anybody imagined. And you know what? That should have been clear three weeks ago. And you should have said, well, my bad. You should have said, my bad. Let's go back to the negotiation table. And stop sending a bunch of fucking dipshits over there to do the job of men. Who are we sending?

A hedge fund guy, Jared Kushner, who clearly has financial interests every which way to Sunday in the Middle East. And then J.D. Vance, who just looks like a swollen pop talk. I mean, he really does. What's wrong with that guy? We shouldn't just JD DeVans with anything. No. That guy two years ago was like the biggest anti-Trumper in the world. And then all of a sudden, now he's got a pair of balls in his mouth. Yeah, a pair of saggy golf balls in his mouth. And they're attached to Donald Trump. Also, didn't he just become Catholic and then write a book about it? Yes. Okay, great. Yeah. He wrote a book about it. And now he's talking shit about the Pope. And I, it's just a mess. It's all a mess. I hated so much. I hated so much. for our country because I really do love this country with all my heart. I really do. I love it with

all my heart and we have no friends left in the world except for bad ones. And we don't need, and now Victor Orban is gone on. I'm not sure we have any friends, but you know, Victor Orban is gone in Hungary. Trump's finding himself very isolated and he's taking us all with him and, you know, okay, you voted for the guy or whatever you thought he was going to make good on the promise for the economy. It hasn't happened. It's not going to happen. He does not have anybody's interest. Yeah, it's gotten worse. Yeah, it's gotten worse and it's going to continue. need to get worse because he can't see straight. The guy is old. He is Joe Biden times 11. You know what? Joe had people around him. And maybe you didn't like their decisions, but they weren't trying to blow up

the world. You know what I'm saying? They had people around him helping him with the auto pen or whatever. Whatever you want to do, whatever, however you want to imagine that all went down. There'll be a book someday, I'm sure. Yeah. But Trump has nobody around him that's willing to say anything except for yes. Luce, yes, more please. Yeah, more, more dick. It's crazy. Did you see that? Don Jr's getting married and he had a, they had a wedding shower for that girl that he's marrying.

I don't even know her name, I could care less, down in Mar-a-Lago. You've never seen something so gaudy in your life. You've never seen so much liposuction and lip fillers and those semific. in your entire life. It was incredible. It's insane. Anyway, all right, listen, we'll take a break. And then, yeah, we'll come back and we'll talk more shit because that's what we do. We'd like to, you know, we're having fun. Vote for who you want to. Don't worry about it. Voting doesn't have consequences, kids. Don't worry about it. And if you voted for Trump, it's okay. You can come in from the cold. We're all right. It's warm over here.

We're not going to, you know, we're not. Say my bad. And we'll welcome you. And we'll welcome you back. Just say sorry. That's all we're looking for us. And I'm Sorry. Okay, we'll be back. Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely, Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me or Chrissy, at 212-4333-T-CB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too.

Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. Or text us and we'll text your right back. Promise. Then head over to TCBPodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid. Oh. What? I just, that Donald Trump's outside the White House. And they're asking you about the post that he made with him as Jesus Christ, laying his hands on some guy in healing him.

And he said, only the fake news media could come up with that one. It was me as a doctor with a, and I'm part of the Red Cross. A doctor. The amount of bullshit that comes out of this guy's mouth. Oh, man. What about Melania last week, just coming out and dropping about the Epstein? Yeah. I think that can only mean one thing.

Two things. Two things, actually. Number one, something's about to come out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That is mind blowing. Yeah. And it's, well, it's that other, the woman that, um, that was good, they were all good friends. The modeling agencies. Yes. The modeling agencies. And she got deported. Yes. He has a kid. And she got divorced and she, and he deported her. Yes. To Brazil, I think. Yeah. And so she's coming out hard. She's like, I'm going to spill it all. I hope she does. I hope before someone gets to her and pays her a bunch of money or does something. other nefarious bullshit that she has a chance. You know, I hope she's shopping that story immediately, if not sooner too. Yeah, because it seems so bizarre. I was like, why? Okay, Melanie is coming out and saying it. Yeah, people have been saying this for years. They've been saying that she's connected to Epstein and that Epstein had something to do with Trump

and her meeting and that they were all friends. There's pictures, hundreds of them of her and Epstein and Trump or her and Epstein or her and Trump and Epstein. It's like there are hundreds of pictures. There's no doubt that she knew Epstein. And then all of a sudden she has to come out and yell and scream about it. It doesn't make much sense. unless you're trying to get ahead of a story and control the narrative to your base to the people who will believe you.

And or number two, you are distancing yourself from your husband because you are concerned that you don't want to hitch your wagon to him too tightly. So you want to make it clear. I mean, honestly, Melania just as bad as Trump, just as bad as Trump. Yeah. Did you watch that movie, Melania? Of course not. I don't even search it because I don't even want it to be like I don't want to add another search to the Milan. I just, yeah, I'm not going to watch some fucking, you know, whack off movie about Melania.

I don't care. I don't care either. I really don't. I hope that this all ends, you know, I hope this all ends quickly. I hope that everyone just goes away. That's what I hope. You know, listen, it happened with Nixon. I just watched all the president's men over the course of two nights because it couldn't stay awake for the

the whole thing. But I watched it over the course of two nights, and I've seen it before, probably years ago, but it's, it is a great movie. And it's a movie about how... It's Robert Redford, right? Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman and a cast of other illustrious actors, character actors and stuff that play the guys at the Washington Post, Woodward and Bernstein, who broke the Watergate's... who didn't break the Watergate story. They got the whole picture. They understood that it went to the top, that there was a big slush fund, where for years a lot of the intelligence community in the United States was working to sabotage democratic campaigns on behalf of Nixon and Halderman who were the two, you know, I think who was

the Attorney General at the time or something like that or the communications director, something like that. But it's really the story of how the minutia of that story, that dogged reporting came together and how important they felt it was to get it right and check the story and double-check the story and triple-checked the story and how their lives were in danger doing so, how they were being threatened, along with many other people, to shut the fuck up and go away. And, you know, it just makes me really believe in the power of the free press and how important, how it's more important now than it ever was. Absolutely. In this day and age with literally fake news, I mean, Trump coined that term years ago, but, you know, with all the AI news and things that are out there. there and then and then how newsrooms are being slashed you know totally slashed 300 reporters that's so

important we need that actual real stories absolutely and and so when milania comes out and bashes the press is saying that like telling us to our faces that what we see with our own eyes is not in fact true it it reminds me that there still are very good dog get determined on both sides of the aisle, leaning left, leaning right, working for this, working for that, that are willing to put out the hard stories and do the hard work. And I commend them and I support them. Yes. And I say, keep fucking going.

Like, we, it's important that we figure this out. It's important that we figure out the whole story so that we aren't thrown under the bus by this kind of pitch of bullshit that comes from, by the way, both sides of the aisle, both sides of the aisle. You know what's good for the goose is good. Look at the Democratic guy in California. Eric Swalwell. Yes.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Fuck you, Eric Swalwell. Amen. You know, I'm sorry for my judgments. It's between me and my wife. No, fuck you, dude. You put yourself on top of the pedestal as if you were the guy who's going to fight fire with fire with Trump. And I commend any work that you did on behalf of that.

But you know what? All the while, all the while you're sleeping with 18-year-old interns at best, at best. and sexually assaulting them at worst, it's like, dude, we don't need you, bro. No. Go somewhere else. This guy was a prosecutor. This guy was a prosecutor.

To imagine any of this is true would be the worst kind of hypocrisy and terrible on top of that for ruining lives. And it's not one, it's not two, it's not three. There are apparently dozens of these women out there. Dozens! Yeah, well, one came forward and then they thought there's four more. And then now it's, yeah, there's a whole slew of. of them now. There's like different women on the internet who are working on behalf. This all was all

broken on Instagram essentially, this one girl on Instagram who just had messages from people after she put out a video of her on a Zoom call with Eric Swalwell and a bunch of other influencers like media type influencers who were going to get his campaign message out there to the world. He was asking them to get on a Zoom phone call. If you like what I'm saying, send it to your followers. And then when she put that message out there, she got messages from people saying, hey, this guy is fucking no good. Yeah. Yeah, he's no good. He's assaulted me or he assaulted my friend or I know a girl who knows a girl who assault. I mean, it's a pattern with this guy. He's a fucking psychopath too. Get him out. Bye, bye. See you later. Out of your seat. You don't belong here. It's time that on all

sides of the aisle and listen, I will give the Democrats a little bit of credit here. When the story broke So many of them just immediately were like, no, see you later, got to go. Not all of them, but something. That's the way it should be. Yes, it should be. Look, nobody's going to be a saint. Nobody's going to be perfect, but let's stay within some lines here. Yeah, sexual assault should be the line.

Yeah, that's not. We don't accept it. We don't accept it. It's not acceptable in our politicians. It's not acceptable in our priests. It's not acceptable in our neighbors. It's just not there. And we should not, this should not be a paper tiger.

We should not just let. Let these things fly because we like his tax policy. Right. That's fucking bullshit, right? Mm-hmm. I don't expect that the president of the United States or anybody else is going to be moral high ground, right? That's for my wife, my priests and the people that I trust to look to them as for moral compasses. But I don't expect them to be predators, sexual assaulters.

If they cheated on their taxes, you know, a couple thousand dollars, God bless you. America. I don't know what to say. That's a, you know, that it is what it is. That to me is a very gray area. If they, yeah, I can even, I can even overlook that, you know, I made some money because of my political connections. I can even overlook a little bit of that bullshit, because that's been going on forever and ever and will continue to go on. What I can't overlook is clear moral hazard. Clear moral hazard. Yes, yes, yes. Lying, cheating, stealing. Yes. I mean, doing wrong. I mean, you know what's wrong. You know what's wrong. You know what's wrong. You know what's wrong. And Eric Swalwell is a fucking cocksocker. And you know what? Get him out of there. I don't care. And that sucks. You know, I don't think I ever really liked Eric Swalwell, if I'm just being honest. I never thought. I wasn't paying too much attention to him. I never thought he was like my favorite guy. But I always talking shit about Trump. He's taking the fight. He's fighting fire with fire. I guess I can appreciate that. But there's something always a little weird about his eyes. I look at someone's eyes and I say, what's up with you? And I always saw the little shifting.

in his eyes. He was always moving those eyes. It's always in the eyes, Chrissy. Look in the eyes. That's what I do. Look in my eyes. I'm like a Cheshire cat. Ah, look into my eyes. Um, yeah, and, and so I, I would say this right now, is that in November, we have a chance to take it to the streets and make a difference and change it up. And I don't care if you're Republican and I don't care if you're a Democrat. I don't care if you're independent. I don't care if you, you know, fly fat pigs for a living. I don't give a shit. Vote, but then I also don't give a shit if you're a politician who's on either side of the aisle. If you agree that whatever's going on in the country right now, the leadership is clearly, it's a train that has no tracks. Yeah, it's a bad deal for the American people. I don't care who you identify with. I will vote for

because whatever is next has got to be better than what's happening now. It's got to be. It's got to be. There's no question about it. I know. I keep thinking it can't get worse

and it does. This is not going to end well. I'm telling you right now. One way or the other, this is going to implode. It is going to implode. And that either means that, you know, some drama is going to happen

around election time and, you know, there's going to be ICE office. Yeah, that's the next thing too. It's like, you know, you start, fucking with the elections and you really start fucking with the backbone of the democracy. And so I would say that, you know, we got to keep our head on a swivel here. Yeah, we do. I don't think this is- There's some stuff going on in Georgia. We need to keep our eye on. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I have always liked

Governor Kemp. I've liked Governor Kemp for a long time. And I'll tell you why. I don't like his Republican policies. I don't like his conservatism on social issues. I don't like that. but I like Governor Kemp because he has found a way to thread that needle between not being a Trump supporter and still being a good leader, right? In times when it was needed. I think he did a pretty good job of getting us through the pandemic here in Georgia. He didn't like, you know, keep us all in our houses like they did in New York. But he also didn't just let, you know, he also, you know, set up tents and got people free shots and, you know, got people free tests and all that stuff. And he pushed back against Trump when it was time to push back against Trump when it really mattered he did.

And so I think of- Yeah, and he's like you're right. He seems to have been able to distance himself and not just be completely falling all over Trump and whoever is around Trump. Yes. And he was voted back in office handily because I think a lot of people in Georgia, I'd like to think of Georgia, even though it's a purple state. No doubt about it. And it votes red more than it votes. It's a purple state. But I like to think of, and we have Marjorie Taylor Green. We had Marjorie

Taylor Green. He's completely flipped. Yeah, now. Who's like the sane voice in the room. Right. We should tell us all something. When you're looking at our MJT to give you some good advice, it's like, what? What are we doing? But I'll say this. I've always thought of at least the Atlanta area, the metro Atlanta area, the people that I grew up with have been here for a long time, to be level-headed people. Yes. Right? We don't want to. We don't want all this noise. We don't want all this bullshit. We don't want this Trump guy.

There's lots of Trump supporters in Georgia. Don't get me wrong. But I think a good chunk of the people and friends and circles that I travel in, they can appreciate that Trump is really fucking looney tune. And this is no good for the country. And so I think that Governor Kemp figured out a way to kind of ride that sentiment into the office as much as he could. You know, he's been our governor for a while now.

And so now we've got like, you know, Raccoon Williams. I'm Raccoon Williams. And I was a, what is he? I jury rigged the lottery to make myself a billionaire. And now I'm here to tell you that the illegals are taking your money. I'm like, you're a fucking gambling magnate, dude. What did you do? What is he?

He's like a, he's some shithead, right? I don't know all of the ones. And I see those commercials that it pisses me off. Bert Jones or whatever. I'm Raccoon Williams. My daddy left me when I was four years old. And I killed two men to get my first dollar. And since then I've been stealing from the government and gambling away your money.

Vote for me. I support President Trump and all his cronies. Vote for me. I say more guns, less women. The e-leagles. Yeah, more raccoons. The e-legals need to go. Illegals.

E-legals. Like E-Dash-Legals. It's like they're electronic legal. The e-legals. Fucker. What a fucking no-knick. I swear to God, what a fucking nutnick. Oh, my God.

Yeah. We have something better than Raccoon Williams for governor. That would be appreciated. I hope it doesn't go from Kemp to Raccoon Wage. No, he can't. I really don't. Yeah, but man, he's got so many fucking commercials. Guy's got a pile of money, I'll tell you that much,

because he's got a commercial on every 30 seconds. I hope everybody in Georgia is seeing the same thing I'm saying, that he's telling you right in his commercials. He's a thief. And that he hates everybody. And then there's the other guy, Bert Jones or whatever else. I'm Bird Jones. Jones. If I don't win, I'll never be a politician again. That's my promise to you. That's like one of his commercials. And I'm like, okay. Great. Okay. See you later, Bert. Do we even have a Democrat? I don't think we do. I don't think the Democrats are just giving up the governor's office here in Georgia.

John Offa. John Ossoff is our best bet, but yeah. Yeah. We got what we got. You know, we got. You know, it's not like I'm, I'm not going to go to. campaign rally for the guy. But, you know, I think there's another guy that, like, used to be a Republican and he switched. Okay. So, I'll take that. Yeah, maybe. He said he's sorry. Did he say he's sorry? Because that's that's what I want to hear. All right. Let's take a break. We'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333-tcb. That's 212-4333822. Visit our website. Tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at YouTube.com slash the commercial break.

And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome. Well, it was inevitable Britney Spears went to rehab. Yep, saw it. I wonder if her and Tiger were in the same place.

No, I think he's gone international. Yeah, he has to. Yeah. I mean, I don't even know if he can get away from that kind of fame internationally. But he, yeah, both these people, they've just got DUIs. And so they're doing what the judge wants to see, which is taking some kind of accountability. But is, I think Tiger's kind of a cause. I think with all those physical issues, he's going to have to be on pain medication for the rest of his life. He just needs to not drive. That's right. I'm talking to somebody about this

last night. Yeah. Me too. We were saying, like, it's the dumbest fucking shit. Because the privacy thing, whatever, get your, get it soundproofed. Yeah. And the, in the back of your suburban. Yeah, they have limousines with windows. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm sure they're still out there. You can probably buy an old one and get it refurb. You're a fucking cotrillionaire. You don't need to be driving yourself anywhere.

I understand the freedom of driving. I like it also. I don't like to, I don't like when I have to get into a cab or an Uber. It's not my favorite thing in the world. I prefer to have my hands on the wheel. But when you're seven Vicodins and a cup of coffee in, you're going to have to figure out a way to get from point A to point B. Can a friend pick you up or something?

Like, don't you have somebody you trust? You're paying that caddy a lot of money. Tell him to come pick you up. You know what I'm saying? That poor caddy, worst job in the world for that caddy. Tigers played six tournaments in 10 years and never placed more than a hundredth. And he just keeps on getting to the car accidents and almost dying or killing somebody. But Brittany went to rehab apparently for booze and Adderall, which is a problem that some people are saying she's had for a very long time.

That makes some sense. You see those videos with her the smeared makeup and, you know, juggling knives and fire and all that stuff and the dog shit in the background. You know, you'd think if you're taking Adderall, you'd be a little more focused on cleaning up the house. But okay, all right. But clearly, I don't want to make fun because I think that Brittany actually does have legit, legit mental health issues that do need to be addressed in a setting that is not. And I hope she's getting like real deal treatment. Yeah. And I just watched a story.

I think it was on Vice News, if I'm not mistaken. The most expensive rehab in the world is in. in Denmark, I believe. And it is like chuck full of super professional psychiatrists and therapists and, you know, medical professionals. And you're in a castle, basically overlooking some beautiful, you know, Denmark Lake or whatever it is. And it's like $29,000 a day. It's crazy. Like minimum 15 day stay. Blah, blah, blah. Super private. I don't know how Vice News got in there, but super private. But they did a tour. And it's like, you know, but it also seems like you're getting the kind of treatment that you can afford, like the best kind of treatment from a lot of

professionals who probably know what the fuck they're doing and aren't willing. The thing is, is that if you're Britney Spears or Tiger Woods and you walk into a rehab facility, any older rehab facility, it's likely you're going to get a lot of the same treatment that you get out there in the world. And that is that Tiger has any doctor he wants in the world to prescribe him 60 Vicodin because of his back. And that's a legitimate medical purpose. Brittany was apparently going down to Mexico to buy her Adderall. That's why she was visiting Mexico so often is because she was walking into the pharmacies and getting Adderall. Don't you have someone that can do that for you?

I mean, don't you have like a Michael Jackson type who can go down that? You know, like Michael had a bunch of people that would just get his shit for him. Matthew Perry. I mean, listen, I get it. You're addicted. You're addicted. You got to do what you got to do. But what a dangerous proposition for Britney Spears to be down in Mexico buying Adderall? That doesn't make sense.

It doesn't. In Cancun or I don't know where she was. But I remember, but anyway, you walk into one of those places, you're going to get the same kind of treatment you're getting in your normal life, which is everybody. Everybody is saying yes. That's it. Willing to blow smoke up your ass. You need to go to a place where they know how to treat and how to deal with entitled fucking human beings. And they're not willing to cowtow to your every desire.

And we're paying $36,000, $29,000 a day, whatever it is. I can see how it would be easy to believe that you deserve whatever it is. you want. But I would imagine that place has a, has notoriety because it's known to tell people no. The truth. Yeah. No. You're in trouble. I mean, there's only one or two ways. You either go to the place in Denmark or you go to the local AA meeting in downtown Atlanta. You know what I'm saying? Like it's a shack somewhere where everyone there is grizzled old alcoholic veterans and you just say, you know, I'm going to subject myself to whatever it is the program is. Yeah, committed to Yeah, and I hope they both get the treatment that they need. I really do because Britney Spears don't love her music, but I know that she's incredibly loved and there's talent there. And she could still have a back half of her career. She really could. Everybody's rooting for her. Everybody. There's not one person. But I do think she needs to look. I do think she needs someone in her life to help her manage her ups and downs. And I'm not saying that's her dad or conservative ship. But I think there needs to be some kind of structure. Yeah, a manager. Yeah. She just got two.

$200 million, you know. Oh, right for her catalog. Yeah, she needs something. Like, she just needs something. Get her somebody in her life, in her orbit. I mean, I hate to say this, but it looks like that Kevin Federline's doing okay. Like, maybe get him back in the mix and, you know, have him. Yeah, she's got those sons.

I mean, if you want to have a good relationship with your children like that, you're going to have to get yourself together. Yeah, you can't be all pookied out on Adderall all day long, drinking tequila down in Mexico while, you know, some Ombre is bringing your bags full of Adderall. It's just, it's not a good look. It's just bad news. It's bound to end in disaster. You know, in so many different ways. Like I was thinking about it last night, how many different ways could that go wrong? Brittany Spears buying Adderall in Mexico. How many different ways could that go wrong? Somebody kidnap her and ask for a couple million dollars to get her back or, you know, put something in the Adderall that isn't juicy. I mean, I don't know. I mean, she must have been going like above and beyond what would. have been maybe prescribed to her in the U.S.

Yeah. I mean, that's... Yeah, that's addiction. That's a lot. You know, you start taking one, you need two, you stay taking four, you need ten. You start taking ten, you go to Mexico. You know what I'm saying? I think that's kind of how it goes.

Wow. Yeah, but I wish the best for her. I do wish the best for her. I also wish the best for Tiger. Of course. I think he's old enough, and I think he's sane enough to know better, but, you know, to know better than to drive while you're high on Vicodin. Let's put it that way.

By the way, I watch the very, I watch the very, video of Tiger coming out of that car wreck. I am not 100% convinced that Tiger was all that inebriated. I'm just not. That's just my personal opinion. I think he got a couple of zealous police officers that wanted to make sure they were doing things by the book. And then they decided something was amiss there. But, you know, I watched, yeah, he wasn't really super following the commands on the street, you know, those road tests or whatever. And didn't he refuse? He refused to draw blood.

Okay. Because he gave a breathalyzer. Yeah. And he blew zero. And then they asked him to give blood. And he said, no, on the device of my attorney, I'm not going to get blood. When you do that, it's an automatic deal right. You're not going to get away with it.

You know, refusal, you can do it. But then it's the presumption of guilt rather than innocence because you're saying, no, I did this once. I know. It's like, you think that's what the. lawyers are telling you to do, but you have to understand all the consequences of saying no to a breathalyzer road tests. Yeah, I mean, I guess the evidence can't then be there to be used against you later. Yeah, that's right. But in the time, you're going to go to jail. That's right. And then you get the DUI and then they got to sort it out later, right? It's usually reduced to a reckless driving or something like that. But I watched the whole video. And yes, Tiger was acting like a douche. But he was not, in my opinion, he didn't seem super inebriate. He wasn't like falling asleep or slurring his words. He just seemed like Tiger. But he did pull this duchy move. Yeah, he flipped the car.

He flipped the car. I mean, God. He hit the other truck and flipped his car. He wasn't going 90 miles per hour down a residential street or something. But they had this dushy move where right after he got it in the accident, everyone was okay. He never left the scene, but he walked away from the officer. And you can see in the video, the officer eventually thinks Tiger's just a little too far astray. Hey, excuse me, Mr. Woods.

Mr. Woods come back here and Tiger's on the phone. You can hear him. He's like, yeah, yeah, thanks. And he goes, and the officer goes, I just need you to stay here around. with us, right? I can't have you walking too far off from the scene. And he says, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, I was just talking to the president. It's like a total douche back way. Like, stop it, tiger, stop it. We all know. You're God. Okay, we get it. But, you know, there's another child star. That's another child star. It's another child star. And as one of my friends,

Hase pointed out yesterday, he said, when you are a professional athlete, they're all child the stars because your body essentially peaks at 16, 17 years old. Most professional sports you got five or six years at best. And tell me you're not already doing that and being pushed into that and being, you know, massaged and molded into this little athlete, even at a very young. Yeah. It's very rare that you hear a story where someone just picked up a baseball at 22 years old. Those Williams sisters turned out okay. Serena and Venus and they were basically pushed into it from a young age. Yes. But they seem to be good. Yes, except for now one of them is selling like a multi-vitamin drink. You know, I have a snanuga. Shenuga. Well, whatever. The special multivitamin drink that I made up just for you to

replenish your hydrant. I'll take that over DUIs. No, I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. Also, I think everybody's a mess at some degree to some level. Everyone's a mess. We all are, right. Some people just have drivers. How good is your publicist? Yeah. Some people just have drivers. That's right. And so you don't get into these situations. Have children. It usually works out that children will keep you on the straightening. They'll sober you right up. Except for Brittany and Tiger. But besides that, they usually straighten you right out. I'm telling you right now, those kids, they, they, you cannot suffer fools around those children. They are. They are good. As a matter of fact, one of my kids asked me the other day about SEX. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. So now we're having that conversation.

Okay. I'm not going to get into it here. No. Between me and my children. But I'm just letting you know. We've reached that point in the show, kids, where. That's a big deal. Where, yeah, I'm going to have to figure out exactly what to say.

Yes. I mean, I'm pretty well versed, but I don't know how to communicate that to a child. But I know I can't avoid it and I shouldn't like throw it on, you just like sweeping under the rug. Because if I'm not the one talking, it's going to be some shithead in their class. Yes. That's correct. And they're going to be like, here, let me show you. Take them to the zoo

What's that? Take them to the zoo Well that's what they tried Those turtles are always mating Yeah that's true That's true Yeah the turtles are all over each other They say like fucking like bunnies

But is it really Or is it fucking like turtles Or are we just always seeing it Because it takes so much time I may be But I swear every time I've been to the zoo That those big large huge turtles are fucking Yeah

Well listen last thing And go Oh true Oh tree you Last time we were there, I think we saw a rhino trying to mount another rhino. Okay, you did. That's right. Yeah.

And that was. Yeah. That's a rhino penis. I mean, I just had to say it out loud. That's a penis. Yeah, there it is. One of my kids was like, wow. Why does you're so small?

That's a personal question, kid. You never ask a lady or age or a man is. Just don't do it. Yeah. Keep it out of the mouth. Keep my wife out your mouth. Where's that fresh prince of bell there when you need it? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I saw him a couple months ago. Did you see? Well, no. I saw that there's like some family friend that's coming out and suing Jada Pinkett Smith over like, I don't know. He's been their friend for years. There's some lawsuit going on. I don't know.

Some personal assistant suing Howard Stern because, you know. Do you see that one? No. She was getting paid $325,000 a year, lived in his mansion and was upset because he was telling her she had to sign a piece of paper that said she could never discuss what happens in the house. Yeah, what? No, that's standard. And that it was an extremely stressful situation. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Get up. Honestly. Now, if the NDA gets broken by the judge and it comes out that there's more bullshit, I'm not. I'm not loyal to Howard Stern in any way. No, I mean, if there's illegal things going on, that's fine. But just private. You just want some privacy.

She got fired, too, by the way. So it sounds like you had a job you got fired from, and now it's spoiled milk. You get $325,000 a year and you're living in Howard Stern's mansion. You got as good as it gets, kid. All right, at the commercial break on Instagram, YouTube.com, slash the commercial break. All the audio and all the video at TCB Podcast.com and your free sticker. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now. I think so.

I'll say that I love you. And I love you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say. We do say and we must say. Goodbye.