The Commercial Break - Crinkle Cut Sack!

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

EP927: Bryan & Krissy are back in studio! Bryan returns from his office in NY and bring with him the sights and sounds of the airport restroom. The place where cultures come together like a mustard and cheese sandwich...or a crinkle cut nut sack!  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

on this episode of the commercial break. But what was really disturbing about this is his nuts were hanging out the back end of the, like the leg of his shorts. Both of them. His fucking dingle dangle, these old wrinkly crinklies, his fucking crinkle cut testicles were hanging out of that goddamn thing. It looked like waffle fries being blown up like a balloon. It was disgusting. It was unnecessary. It was really something that actually disturbed.

I went into a stall because I didn't want to be any. part of it. And no part of that guy's testicle. What? Are he tasting with him? I don't know. I don't know. But what fucking farm was this guy raised on? The next episode of the commercial break starts now. As a kiddons, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show. Chris and Joy Haudley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast and streaming universe. Thanks for joining us. We really appreciate it.

another extended break from the commercial break. But there's good reasons behind all of this, and none of it means the commercial break is going away. So I know that there is some frustration on behalf of the listeners. We've gotten some text messages about how many best ofs we've run over the last month and a half. But there is good reason behind this. And I promise you, it all benefits the commercial break at the end of the day. We are now on more of a regular schedule, at least for the foreseeable two weeks.

We'll get it done. So now Wednesdays and Thursdays will be here recording, possibly some Fridays, too, recording and streaming. So go to YouTube.com slash the commercial break and you can watch us stream. Make sure you hit the notification bell. Smash that notification bell. I started running Frankie B best up so while you were gone, a couple mountain monsters. People love it. They love it.

They love Frankie B. I wish I had something new to give you. Somebody said, you guys don't do video breakdowns anymore. Well, we started streaming, and that adds a layer of complexity into the show. And to be honest with you, we're barely hanging on as it is, technical-wise. I know even just to get on today. Even to get on today. They were like, what happened to this?

What? They changed one thing, and I'm totally confused. Me, whatever. Anyway. We're here. We're here. That's it. That's all you need to know.

I was in New York. Chrissy was in Memphis. Yeah. Successful Riverbeat Fest. Yeah. Once again, the third one. How was DMB? Did they shit on anybody?

Great, I have to say, you know, say what you will, but we all know the songs. And he played all the hits, and they were all great. Dancing Nancy's Tripping Billy's Crash. I all knew it the same. He all knew it the same. Come, come. My friend used to have a whole ditty that he did to that and had to do it. It's easy to do it.

It's easy. But I'll tell you what, I saw Dave Matthews at Piedmont Park, which I recently, that show was playing on some random channel on Roku. Oh, right. Okay. They play concerts channel. They haven't everything on Roku. I think it's like access. Yeah.

Maybe it was access. They played that show, which was recorded to be played on MTV, I think, at the time. I went there with my ex-wife and my brother and his ex-wife, all of our ex-wife. We went there. And I remember it was the Almond Brothers and Dave Matthews band that played. So Almond Brothers opened up for the Dave Matthews band. And there was 200,000 people there. Oh, he's still a huge draw. Yeah.

He's one of the highest grossing live acts still. And even after he took a five-year hiatus. And then he lost his fiddle player for fit. His fiddle player was fiddling, I think. And so didn't he? Something like that. Yeah. Somebody died, too.

Somebody, the saxophone guy died. Yes. And then the fiddle player was fiddling. He was, he was accused of some pretty horrendous stuff. And now he's on Instagram. He, I think he had a stroke. And so now he can't play the fiddle anymore. He plays a box.

Oh. He puts a box in between his knees and he taps it. To Dave Matthew's music that's playing on like an old tape recorder in the background. Oh. It sounds and looks horrible. God. And people are like, On the comment section, like, is this, are you, are you punking us?

Is this real? Is this real? Is tapping your new thing? He's like, tap. They all do it the same. They all do it the same way. Anyway, went to that Dave Matthews concert. And all I remember about that particular concert, because I was pretty smashed.

Yeah. By the time Dave Matthews got there. I was really there to see Almond brothers. The Dave Matthews band was on top of that. I just remember three things about that. Number one, it was next to impossible to get a drink. They horribly mismanaged, misestimated how many people were actually going to show up to this thing.

And this was, by the way, this was a free concert. Oh, wow. You did not need tickets to get into this. So it was Allman Brothers and Dave Matthews at Piedmont Park, and the entire park was covered. It had to be, especially with free. White frat boys and sorority. girls. That's it, right? And old hippies that wanted to see the Almond Brothers one last time in all

their glory. This back on Greg was alive too. I think Chuck was up there with him, if I'm not mistaken. So you could not get a beer. They had a big beer tents lining one side of Piedmont Park up by the, if you've ever been there, Park Tavern. They ran out of beer quickly. So eventually they backed in some beer trucks and they started pouring beers. Yeah, they ran to Kroger. That's what they did. They ran to Kroger, they stole some beer trucks with the taps on the side of them and they started pouring beers and they would put them on these big tables and people were just taking them. At some point, they just stopped selling beer and they started serving beer. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. So, you know, good luck. If you had a beer, you were a beer. I think other people, you couldn't bring beer into the park. So it was a whole shit show. And the porta-pottie situation, by the time that Almond brothers were into their fourth song was so bad that there were many, tens, if not hundreds of young ladies that were running into the Reed field and doing their business.

Yeah, just pain. Yes. And then a thousand guys that were lurking, right? And it just became like a weird situation. And so the third thing I remember is I was sensing that Dave was getting close to his, to the end there. I was sensing that maybe somebody had told Dave, it's time to run. wrap this up before somebody gets hurt, right?

Yeah, yeah, he needs to. It was late at night. It was 11, 1130. You know, they have neighbor. There's plenty of residents that are down there. I think they were giving him the yank. I could just tell. It was coming close to.

You can tell. Like, it's getting into the end. And I remember telling my ex-wife, we should get the fuck out of here right now before this becomes the world's biggest shit show. And I remember we had the biggest fight because she's like, I don't want to leave. And I'm like, the fucking what?

How many more Dave Matthews songs do we need to hear? Yeah. Yeah. We already heard them all. Like, all the good ones have already been played. So we miss crash. Let's get the fuck out of here. Anyway, I managed to get her out of the crowd.

And I'm glad I did because my little brother stayed. And I think it took him two days to get home. It took them two days to get home. Unbelievable. Wow. Well, this was not that. Okay. Well, yeah, it's a more managed situation.

Oh, yeah. How many people were there? Oh, gosh. Let me see. I don't know. Maybe like 8,000. Oh, that's not bad at all. Yeah, eight to 10, I think.

That's a small show. That's not big for Dave Matthews. I mean, they could probably do $20,000 at an amphitheater, right? I would imagine. Yeah, I mean, I think so. Okay, did he play all the hits? He played all the hits? Was it a full set?

It was a full set. It was a full set. It was a full two-hour set or a... It was an hour and a half. Hour and a half. That's about as much Dave as I could handle. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Still got lots of friends that like to go to Dave.

Every year that Dave comes into Atlanta does his same thing every year. It does the amphitheaters like fish. Every 4th of July, fish is coming. Yeah, I think people see their friends. and you reminisce and it's a good excuse to get together. Listen, I'm Dave Matthews or I'm fish or I'm one of these guys or geese or whatever. If I'm geese or goose or fish or whoever, Dave Matthews, more specifically, if I'm one of these older legacy kind of touring bands, that's what I'm doing for the rest of my life.

Of course. I'm showing up. I'm doing my thing. People love it. It's a reunion every year that Dave Matthews. My little brother, Danny. will go with friends that he only sees once a year at the Dave Matthews concert. Yes, that's it.

That's it. That's all they do. They just every year they buy tickets when they go on sale. Every year they show up at the same place. They tailgate. They go together. They get hammered. They go home, you know, see you next year kind of thing.

So, you know, but at least they have toilets. They do. Yeah. No porta-potties. I saw the most disturbing thing when I was at the airport the other day. Oh, really? You know, you get off the plane and you got a T-T, right? You do.

I go straight for the bathroom every time. Straight for the bathroom. Two reasons. One reason I won't mention here on air, but I need my fix. You know what I'm saying? I need my fix immediately. I just got to get my fix. But then number two, I got a T-T, almost exclusive.

I don't like using air. No, that's like last resort if you have to go on the plane. That's when I fly to Spain. That I'll use the bathroom. Sure. And then under duress again, right? I hate those bathrooms. I just hate them.

I have hard time peeing when I'm like moving like this. Like my body doesn't want to let fly when I'm trying to hold on to one wall. Yeah. You know, I feel completely enclosed in this little capsule. So I go to the men's restroom. I think it was here. I was on the way back. I go to the men's restroom here in Atlanta and empty, pretty much empty bathroom later on at night.

And I walk in and there's a line of urinals right there. And there is a guy standing there Pishing. And I'm imagining he's in his 50s shorter guy, kind of roly-poly dude. And he's got shorts on. And he lifted the inside of his shorts to pull his ding-dang out and pee. Okay. So rather than pull his shorts down like any other normal human being would, he pulled his shorts up. The side.

And then pulled his thing out. That's not what's disturbing. That in and of itself is enough. to be disturbing. But what was really disturbing about this is his nuts were hanging out the back end of the, like the leg of his shorts, both of them, his fucking dingle dangle, his old wrinkly crinklies, his fucking crinkle cut testicles were hanging out of that goddamn thing. It looked like waffle fries being blown up like a balloon. It was disgusting. It was unnecessary. It was really something that actually, actually disturbed. I went into a stall because I didn't want to be any part of it.

And no part of that guy's testicle. Was he tasting with him earlier? I don't know. I don't know. But what fucking farm was this guy raised on? Why didn't you pull your shorts down like a normal human being would? Who pees out of the side of their pant leg? Who does that?

That's just fucked up. Men's peeing 101. Men's peeing 101. You know, I got a son. You know, you have to teach them the rules of the road. when it comes to using that thing, right? And it's hard to pee with a morning boner, but that doesn't mean you can just pee all over the bathroom, right?

You got to let it go down or figure out how to aim or do whatever. You got to lift up the seat, put it back down, clean up after yourself. Guys are messy pears. That's what we are. You don't need to add a layer of complication in there by lifting your short leg up and yanking your dick out of it. It's fucking disgusting, man.

I don't want to picture that. I pictured it. You saw it. I had a full snapshot. Yeah. I was tempted to take a picture, but I think that's illegal. No. But I was tempted to take a picture to show what not to do.

Like, blur it out. Like, don't let your balls hang out of the sign of your pant leg. That's gross. It was so nasty. Sorry, you had to see that. I know. It was not a great way to end my trip. Yeah, I couldn't get it out of my head.

And then the damn plane train is broken. You know, they're doing so much construction. So much. I just was through that airport quite a lot. At the airport, yeah. Actually, every airport that I went to had construction. going on Memphis did too, and I went to Austin, and they had a bunch of construction too, so I don't know.

Yeah, well, you know, up until last week, I guess they were hoping that Spirit would fly there. Oh, God, yeah, they're shutting down, right? They shut down. They shut down. And therefore, my flights got a little extra crowded to and from New York, because that's one of the places Spirit was servicing. Atlanta and New York were two of their big destinations that they were flying to. They had like 60 flights a day or something going back and that were hitting New York or Atlanta.

And so there was a lot of people were filling in those extra spaces. It's, that's, listen, I have said this before about Spirit and now we can piss on their grave. Fuck Spirit. Fuck Spirit. Yeah, they were terrible. I never even tried. I had a thousand dollar airplane credit with Spirit Airlines after my debacle with them. And it was transferable.

and I never ever used to that credit. That should tell you all you need to know about Spirit Airlines. I would never fly them again. They left me in fucking Costa Rica for three days. You might say to yourself, well, Brian, Costa Rica is not a bad place to be. Well, a shitty casino hotel in the middle of downtown San Jose is not exactly how you want. With no means of transportation or funds for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, just a tiny little hotel room where no one's getting in contact with you about when exactly you might get home.

Was that the trip where we went? Yes. Yeah, because I came home at a different time. You came home a couple weeks before I did. But when I went, we were all sitting at this. That was the thing about Spirit. Spirit was flying to these destinations down in South America, and they were doing it real cheap.

$99, $19, $129. I think I might have gotten that ticket for less than $200 to fly to and from San Jose, Costa Rica. And at that time, I had been down there a few times. I was planning on going a few times. I'd taken spirit before. Okay, acceptable. It's not the best airline, but if you can get through the three and a half hour flight

or whatever it is, without any drama, and at that time, there wasn't a lot of airline drama. Like, you didn't find people wilding out like they do now, these discount airliners. And I think my flight was to, I think, did you, did we fly down together? Yeah, we went together. Yeah, we flew down spirit together. I think that was fine.

Yeah. Everything was fine. And, you know, I had a person to ride with. On the way back, I get dropped off at the airport at like eight in the, actually, I didn't get dropped off of the airport. I took a bus to the airport and the guy, there was a guy smoking crack cocaine in the back of the bus. And no one seemed bothered by it. Not one person. Not even the bus driver. And the bus driver would stop on the way. He was like stopping at random. This was like a three and a half hour bus ride. And he was stopping on the way to like buy fruit juice, get himself a cantaloupe. say hi to his friends, the bus driver.

On a government bus that I was taking, I was paying money for. And the bus driver was just stopping at random houses. And he'd be back in an hour. I'll see you later. I'll be back. Take a break. Go smoke some crack. Go smoke crack.

That's right. The guy was smoking fucking crack on the back of the bus. It was the wildest thing. And there was like six of us on the entire bus. Wasn't there a chicken or something too? There was two live chickens. Yep. You know, hey, listen, it's Costa Rica.

Yeah. I get it. And I was young and, you know, just having fun with the whole thing. But I knew the smell of crack. And I knew that the guy, four rows behind me was smoking crack. How? Because he was one of only four people on the bus at the time. Yeah.

It was wild. Wild. So we get to the airport. I get, we get dropped off at the airport. I think we get dropped off outside the airport. And I had to, like, walk through the traffic to get into the airport. Check in two and a half hours before my flight. And before I even got to the gate.

The flight was already delayed. Oh, God. The flight was supposed to leave it like noon. And by six o'clock, Spirit representatives were full on, full of shit about what exactly was going on. We're waiting for the plane, but the plane's right there.

Oh, well, we're waiting for a part for a plane. Then they were waiting for the crew. Then there was something else. Eventually, the crew timed out. It got to like 11 o'clock in night. Crew timed out. And everyone was fucking pissed. But I had made some friends at that time.

Of course. You'd buddy up with the people. Misery and company. Misery loves company. And so then Spirit did the right thing. They said, we've set you all up with rooms. So A through whatever, A through M, y'all are going here. And M through Z, you all are going here.

And, okay, we ended up going to, like, a hotel that was okay. It wasn't the worst hotel. It had a casino and a bar at the bottom of it, like an open-air bar and a casino. But this is the middle of downtown San Jose. This is not what you think of when you think of Costa Rica. This is a third world country. And this San Jose is a large city inside of. And it's lovely.

It's a beautiful city in some parts. That's not the part we were at. Right. But the hotel, fine. It's fine. We're at a hotel. Fine. Whatever.

Yeah, you got a bed to sleep. And I can lock the door. We'll get out tomorrow. And they said, we'll call you in the morning with your new flight instructions. Keep your phone on. Stay close to your phone. Well, I waited to like 1 p.m. in that hotel room waiting. for my instructions and they never came.

I'd go downstairs. Hey, have you heard from Spirit? No, but there's a couple of people who got phone calls and they left. Oh. Okay. All right. It took me hours to get a hold of anybody at Spirit. I called them eventually at like 5 o'clock in the afternoon. They said, oh yeah, hang tight. We'll call you with more information.

Another night went by. The next day, I went to the airport. Oh, my God. I got in a cab with a couple other people. We went to the airport. They still couldn't get us on a flight for whatever bullshit reason. Go back to the hotel. we'll call you when we're ready third day we got up in the morning we all made a plan now it's

friendly with people right a guy and his daughter who was going to uGA and so that we were drinking at the bar and having fun and we said okay 7 a.m we're getting in a cab we're going to the airport and we are going to force our way onto a plane yeah it's just drunk talk right and we're going to force our way out of that yeah there's a plane going to the america and we're going to be on it And we got fussy. We got there and there was a line out the door waiting for spirit to do something for somebody. I don't even know who those people were, but they were also angry. And we walked right up to the front. And we were like, third day, we've been here. And how are you going to get us back to Atlanta? Yeah. And Delta took fucking mercy on us and gave us seats on a flight that night to Atlanta. And so for that reason. Delta. No money exchanged hands. We just, Delta representatives just stepped in and said, if you're going to Atlanta, we have a few extra seats and we immediately were like us. And they were like, okay, we've got four extra seats. That was three of us went on that. And it was a fourth person who ended up going to Atlanta. They were like on their way to Detroit. But they were like, I can do Atlanta. I can figure out. Yeah. And so we got to, we went to Atlanta in a perfectly lovely Delta plane being treated like human fucking beings. And then spirit. Two weeks later, their senior vice president from a bullshit sent us an email, all of us on that plane.

And it's so sorry about the incandemiance. It's not the way Spirit wants to conduct its business. Blondity, blondity, blah. Here's a thousand dollar voucher for future flights, transferable. Have fun. Pick your destination. Bring a friend. Have fucking fun.

And you know what I said? Fuck you. I'm not doing it again, Spirit. Fool me once. Shame on them. Fool me three times shame on everybody. That's it. I'm done.

I'm done. Take your wrinkly, crinkly short testicles and fuck you. I wonder if that guy had just got off a spirit. I'm sure he was not flying Delta. Delta people don't do that. No. Listen, I don't mean to be a snob, but there is one place I will be a snob. And that is my airline tickets, if I can.

Fly Delta. Why? Because you can fly frontier or spirit if they existed anymore. It's just a gamble. It's a gamble. The pilots are. young, less experienced. I'm not saying they're bad pilots. I'm saying they're less experienced. They're being hustled for very little money. They're sleeping in apartments that have 50 other pilots

sleeping in them. They live a miserable fucking existence. These puddle jumping, you know, discount carriers, ask those pilots how their lives are, especially the new ones. They're fucking miserable. They're making very little money and they're doing a whole lot of fucking work and they're not even able to sustain their own lifestyle. That's it. That's what you do. A Delta pilot needs like 7,100 million hours in order to be a Delta pilot. I want my pilot with little gray in his mustache. You know why? True.

Because if something goes wrong, he likely understands what it is, and he has the experience to remedy the situation. And if he doesn't, then we're all going to die anyway, and I'd rather die on a nice seat with a TV in front of me than a fucking my knees knocking around a plastic patio chair that someone bolted to the ground on a spirit tin can. out of chair. Okay. That's how I feel. Fired up today. All right. Let's take a break and we'll be back. Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212. 4333-3-3-T-B. That's 212 433-3822. You can be on the show too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. Or text us and we'll text you're right back. Promise. Then head over to TCB Podcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Best to you. And Astrid, especially Astrid. Whatever it cares.

All right. And we're back. Yeah, that's, you know, speaking of peeing, I just watched a video right before we, right before you got here. I was watching a video about, you know, you go to the Animal Kingdom down there in Disney World. And you can go to the, you can go do the safari where you drive through the back. I've heard of that. Yeah, Animal Kingdom is the biggest park by Acrage in the, I think it's, it might be one of the biggest

theme parks in the world actually by acreage. But most of the acreage is the animal park in the back of it, right? It's just hundreds of acres back there where they're keeping elephants and giraffes. You know, there's a big deal when they opened up that park. They had zookeepers that didn't necessarily know what they were doing, so some of those animals died. But they figured it out, and now by all accounts, they treat the animals well. They have a big open pastures, you know, the lions run and big encampments.

And then you can go see them by taking the... A little Jeep type thing. Yeah, I forget what they call it. Is it on a track? Harambe, the Harambe safaris. It's not on a track. They're just big safari trucks that carry like 25, 30 people at a time. And someone actually drives it while someone else tells you what's going on and what you can see.

And the reason why they have to drive them and not put them on a track, there are certainly paths and they're guided, right? They can't go off. But they can go off if sometimes there's animal interactions with those actual things. Like I remember one time Astrid and I got stuck for like 30, maybe 45 minutes because a giraffe. had a new baby. Oh. And the baby and the mama were standing in the path. Yeah.

But they will not move the animals. Like if the animal walks in front of the truck, you're stuck there until the animal decides to move. It's a real live safari, right? But there was a fucking horrendous moron with his children jumped off of one of these in the middle of the safari to pee. Oh, God. To pee. What? And they had, and everybody else was videotaping.

this fucking moron peeing. He jumped out of the safari truck and went over into the bushes and peed. First of all, it's a real live safari. There are real animals like rhinos and lions and alligators, crocodiles. Even zebras can be dangerous if they're not used to interacting with human beings, right? And so this guy gets out for a good two minutes. I mean, this guy must have really had to pitch. He was there for a long time.

he was peeing and everyone else is like what the fuck is going on first of all second of all your poor fucking children because you're now all over the internet peeing being the idiot who jumped out of a safari car in disney world to pee you know i want to give you a little hint if you ever go to disney world same thing with universal studios maybe not six flags and that disney world is out in california no in florida oh disney land yeah is in california dsneyland land much smaller Disney World. Yeah, huge. Thousands of acres, right?

20 square miles. It's huge. It's huge. And that's why, that's what Disney wanted. He wanted you to be able to drive into somewhere and be engrossed in the world without McDonald's signs right outside of the fucking theme park, right? Which is what happened in Disney, California, which is he didn't like. So that's why he started buying up all this land.

Anyway, I don't want to give you the whole Disney history, even though I could. Yeah, even though I could. I don't want to. If you think I'm smart, you should ask my son. He really knows all the Disney journey. So, when you go to one of these parks, Disney World, Disneyland, Universal Studios, there is a rule that you can talk to a cast member and get out of line and they give you a card. You can go to the bathroom and come back and take your place in line. So you don't have to worry about losing your place if you have to pee. There are situations like this can be remedied pretty easily, right? And everyone would understand. Everyone in line would understand. You were

standing there. You have to go pee, go pee, be come back. Okay, cool, dude. Right? But you fucking moron, by allowing yourself to be videotaped like this, jumping out of the safari, putting yourself and others in danger. And then your poor fucking children, because here's the end result of that. You didn't get to the end of the safari and enjoy the rest of your vacation. You got trespassed at Disney and you'll never be allowed back. and likely the other people in your group. A banned for life. Band for life. It happens all the time.

Lots of people. It happens to hundreds, if not thousands of people every year. You do something stupid at Disney World. They will trespass you and you will not be allowed in. And it is, there have been like famous bloggers and vloggers, influencers, who have been trespassed for Disney for this reason or that. And it takes them years to petition Disney to allow them back in, even when it's just a misunderstanding. Once you're trespassed, it's really hard to get back in.

And trust me, if anybody, knows, Disney security knows. I think you're going to sneak past with some sunglasses on. They have all kind of high security measures. Ain't going to happen. You aren't going to be allowed back in. So you just ruined it for you and your entire fucking family for the rest of your goddamn life because you couldn't hold it another five minutes, which is ridiculous. The whole ride in and of itself is like 30 minutes, 40 minutes long. Oh yeah, that's not long. It's not a terribly long ride, but it's not, you can't hold your, you're an adult. You can't hold your pee. T-Tee? I bet you're a short peer.

I bet you're a pull-up your short kind of pee guy. To the side. To the side. Yeah. So fucking gross. Peat like a human. Sit down and I'd have more respect for if you would have sat on that urinal with your pants around your ankles.

I really would have. I honestly would have gone, well, we've got to go. You got to go. You don't pee in sinks. You don't pull your pants. You don't pull your pant leg up and pull. you're ding-dong out. It's so stupid of you. How rude. How dare you? People in the chat are like, glad you're talking about Spirit. Yeah, glad I'm talking about Spirit too.

Fuck Spirit. There's a guy online who, when Spirit announced that they had unable to make a deal with the government, Donald Trump is going to put $500 million into Spirit and own 90% of it. We don't even know if we're in a war or not, But we're now going to have airlines. That's what we're going to do. We're going to run airlines. The government doesn't know the first thing about running an airline. That was his brainiac idea. And by the way, that is a purely communist vision of this country.

To start buying private companies and owning them, the fuck is going on. Anyway, thank God that didn't happen. But now there's a guy online, just a guy, just a dude online who started saying that he would be the CEO. of the airline if people could get enough money to buy. Okay, like crowd fund it? Crown source it. So he got on he so all the sudden like bankers started calling him, hedge funds started calling him. Really? Yeah, he's like a dude who likes to watch airplanes online. Like a flight watcher. You know what I'm talking about these guys? Okay, he probably knows more than most about airplanes, but running an airline, they couldn't make it work, but you think you can

make it work. So essentially his idea is to get enough money and then go to the bankruptcy court and petition them to buy the business, which is a dumb idea. But okay, listen, the people at GameStop, they figure that out with GameStop. I think there's a lot less to be concerned about with GameStop than they're in with Spirit Airlines. But okay. So then I saw the other, so I'm kind of following this guy. He's got millions of views, hundreds of thousands of likes. Many people have committed to funding. I think he's gotten like $150 million worth of funding already committed. Yeah, he's had phone calls with like Goldman Sachs. I mean, the guy is like, you know, people are calling him and saying, hey, I'm behind this idea.

Okay. So I saw the other day he like pinged Mark Cuban, right? And I thought I would call Mark Cuban. Yeah, well, I wonder what Mark said. Mark probably, yeah. Nah. Nah. No, fuck you, Green.

Stop. Do me a favor. Lose my email, Brian. That's probably what he said. Is this Brian? Isn't Brian with this wise idea? I'm always emailing Mark with some wise idea that he doesn't like. Like, hey, man, come on.

He's always like, this is why that will not work. Yeah, this is why this will not work. This is why you will not be getting additional responses from me. I'll give him credit for that. When I email him, he puts the Kaibash on it quickly. He doesn't drag me along. He's just like, dumb idea. Yeah.

I think that's what he said to two of my emails. Dumb idea. I love your direct-in with Mark after the big Nashville. Yeah, I envision we have a cute relationship. Of course. He probably doesn't even know who the fuck I am. He claims he does every time I email. Like, hey, it's Brian from Nashville.

And he's like, yeah, yeah, dumb idea. I one time thought of, I wanted to buy like a podcast network, right? And it was for sale. I remember that. And I said, hey, man, 20 million bucks. we can buy this podcast network. And then his response was, do you realize that I'm like $20 million in the hole from FireSide?

The other podcast network I bought? Yeah. It's like, dumb idea. I saw that Fireside got bought. It did. Yeah. What? No.

Mm-hmm. Who the fuck bought FireSide? Yeah, because I was curious. It popped into my head the other day or a couple weeks ago. I was like, where, what happened to Fireside? And then I saw, I can't remember if it was like a headline that pulled up when I Googled it or if it was just that I noticed that he, I don't think Mark's involved anymore. Um, wow. Radio.com, Mark Cuban's fireside acquired by consumable as ad tech company plans new streamer for AI driven creator first media landscape, whatever the fuck that means.

Yeah. Oh, they also bought, they also bought Radio.com. Okay, so they bought both of them at the same time. All right, okay. And Mark was like, let's pull the plug on this. You know, partners Mark Levin and, but here's the thing. He invested $20 million in that platform that I know of, $20 million that I know of. It was a great idea.

It was a really good idea. terribly mismanaged from the beginning. As Clubhouse was also a really good idea, hot in the moment, but they had no idea how to capitalize on it, no idea how to take it to the next step. Yeah. And same with Fireside.

And then Fireside just became a streaming television platform. It was like streaming weird. So, but here's the thing. He invested $20 million and then it got bought, right? So it actually wasn't a loss. I imagine they bought it for more than he put in. And Fallon, who was the person who actually actually started it and then Mark invested in it. It was lovely, by the way. Yeah, I like Fallon.

Fallon was lovely. She was a lovely person. So now she's probably rolling in the dough also. I imagine she got a couple million dollars walking away from that. So I guess it didn't all turn out bad for them. Because if you would ask me six months ago about fireside, I would have been like that, a dumb idea. Dumb idea. Yeah, well, that's what made me think of it. I was like, whatever happened to that and I saw they were bought. Well, I wonder if Clubhouse is still a thing. I bet it is. Do you think it is? Let's see. I don't think so. I still have the clubhouse. Well, Apple offloaded clubhouse because I haven't yet in four years. God, did I spend a lot of time on clubhouse? Oh, that was a big one. I really did spend a lot of time. I wasted a lot of my life. I remember seeing, too, just like the valuation was crazy when that thing was hot. Yeah. It's still around. Is it? It's still around. Look at that. 72. people in a room. Who are these 72 people? Let's listen in. I mean, it makes sense because they're probably going to list everything. But again, the function part is the part niggins should really be worried about.

Oh, okay. What room is it? What's the topic of the room? This is called worker bees. Okay. It seems like it's thriving. It seems like everything's going great in here. Oh, here, Iran War, MAGA update. bedrooms. They didn't share the same bedroom. I heard that part, but what about the bra? What? Well, we're going to sleep with a bra on next to a man. That has nothing to do with the Iran War.

Who's going to sleep with a braw on next to a man? Seems like Clubhouse is doing great. You want to have fun, jump into Clubhouse. I heard two N-words and update on the Iran War. which has something to do with bras. I don't know. Braves and people sleeping in separate bedrooms? Yeah, maybe they're talking about how oppressive.

They say bras or LeBron. No, he said brawes on. I actually don't know. Maybe you're right. Maybe they said LeBron. Who's going to sleep with LeBron? Everybody, I think. That's true.

Someone just said in the comments, I'm watching a podcast, watching a podcast. It's very meta. That reminds me. Let me talk about Allison Hare when we get back. Speaking of meta, she used to have a podcast called The Podcastsor's Journey.

Yes. Would you want a meta podcast? That was very meta. I actually found it to be instructive at times. But we're not watching a podcast. We're in Clubhouse. That's a little bit different. But, you know, I was so fascinated with Clubhouse

when it first came out. For a year, I spent hundreds of hours. Yeah, you were. like in the bathroom late at nine. I was. People were like pinging me into rooms and I'd be like, hey, it's Brian. If you want to get heard, you have to be found. That's my podcast of wisdom that I say in every room four times an hour. I sound smart, don't I? I have a new child and my wife is breastfeeding and planning my divorce. I got to go. I'm getting a divorce. I'll be back. All right.

Say it for me. Hey, it's Rachel. Your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page.

You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at TCB Podcasts.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433-3-3-T-B. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you can make fun of us.

That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode

of the commercial break. Someone in the comments section who's been in here a number of times has the name slap that bass. Now, I'm talking to one person specifically. Why are you a bass player? That's just a question I have. So answer me. Okay, Allison Hare, who is a friend of the show. Really, I think the commercial break actually owes Allison Hare quite a debt because I'm not sure we would be the commercial break if Allison hadn't encouraged me to get behind a microphone and get behind it.

the for those you that don't know the history of the commercial break like going way way back is that Astrid had said that I should do a YouTube channel based on like just talk to the camera about commercial real estate in an entertaining way and so um I started to do that and I found that commercial real estate could not be done in an entertaining way right it bored me it bored me so I said to Astrid you know I don't want to do that I think first of all like my clients are really Like the commercial real estate is kind of a sketchy shady can be a sketchy shady business. And so a couple months after that, Allison, who had been podcasting for a year at that point, said, I'm going to put together a cohort, like a class where I'm going to teach other people how to

stand up a podcast, which I knew how to stand up a podcast, but I just didn't know what to do. And so through that four, six-week cohort where other people were trying to get their podcast up and running, we came up with the idea of the commercial break, a comedy show. And that's where we got the name. And that's where, you know, all this stuff happened. And then I said to Chrissy, I don't want to do this by myself, at least not for the first episode or two. Right. And then that turns out to a thousand episodes later. Yeah. Whoever slap that bass is, says, yes, I do play bass. Good. I like bass players. Base players are cool. It also references the movie, I love you, man. A movie about friend.

Oh, that's very sweet. Thanks for joining the stream, by the way. Thanks for joining the stream. Allison is marking her seventh year anniversary of podcasting. Oh, happy anniversary. Yeah. No shit. By doing seven straight hours of her show, streaming seven straight hours of her show.

Which sounds like a commercial break stunt. I was going to say, we've done that before. We've done that before. I'm okay. It's not a particularly unique idea. I'm okay with it. And she's asked me to come beyond one of those hours. Okay.

So I will put a link into the show notes on the 14th of this month. I will put a link in the show notes next week as it gets closer. I'll put a link in the show notes if you want to watch it. But go check out culture changers. And good luck, Allison, on seven hours of talking by yourself. That's got to be really hard to do. I mean, we did it for 12 hours. And we really only did seven of those hours.

Are you going to her studio? No, I think I'm probably going to dial in. Her studio's in her. I don't know. She actually rents a studio down the street. Oh, she does. Okay. Somebody who has a podcast studio down the street.

And I don't know. Maybe it's live, but I'm not going to go anywhere. I don't want to do that. I don't want to drive down in that traffic. I can zoom in. That's perfectly okay with me. I'll fly to New York for one meeting, but I'm not going to drive downtown Atlanta. No.

Fuck that. Oh, it's a mess. Slap That Base says, I love your show because it's a show about friendship. Been listening for a few years now. All right. Oh, thank you very much. We see you in there and thank you so much. And we see a lot of people in the chat and a lot of people, text message and all that stuff.

And thank you so much. We love you too. It is a podcast about friendship at the end of the day. That's what I've taken to calling it because I don't know how else to describe it. I was talking to someone the other day in New York and they said, you know, it always comes up. Like, oh, I heard you had a podcast. Exactly. And I shy away.

Yeah, what's it about? And I've taken to saying it's a show about friendship. It's just two people. people who love each other and have a long time friendship and we get on there and we talk about whatever it is that we want to talk about. Yeah. In fact, I would say, are we coming up on our 20th year of friendship? Yeah. 2007 was when I started at a clear channel. Yeah, so we would be 20 years into our friendship. 2007. It's lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely to have known you for so long. Lovely to have known you. And to still be friends. To still be friends. Yeah. My twin brother is friends

with people he's been friends with some like since we were in sixth grade right i have not rolled that way not because i don't love those people i do i think they're lovely i i have nothing bad to say about i'm also friends with them but not friends in that way not like super close to them yeah because life moves on you grow and you grow and you change and things become different and you have different interests moved to different areas even if you're in the same city i mean gosh i don't know without the podcast that you and i would have stayed as close well we wouldn't have stayed as close yeah because i mean i am I'm in downtown. You're here.

And yeah, and it's a, it's a hall. It is a hall. To get together. Yeah, it's not easy to just flip around and, you know, head to downtown Atlanta. And, you know, so I appreciate people who stay friends with people for 40, 50, 60 years. But you and Raphael and Rachel and a few other people that orbit me are really my longest friends. And I'm fine with that. Like, I don't need to be friends with people that I was friends.

within sixth grade just to say we're still friends. Yeah, well, I'm sure if you saw those people, you'd catch up. I did. I just saw them at my brother's wedding, yeah. It's great, wonderful. Lovely to see you at the bachelor party. It's awesome. It's great to see you.

It's good to talk about old times and, you know, hang out. But we're old now. So, you know, it's like, how many times can we tell the same story? Yeah. We remember we were there. Or some of us don't remember, even though we were there. Me mainly. Some people were telling the stories and I was like, really?

I was there. But then other people were. also saying the same thing. Like stories, I remember vividly about like one guy specifically. And he was there and I was telling him. I was like, you remember? And he's like, I have no fucking clue what you're talking about. I'm like, we literally set a horse on fire and pushed him out of an airplane. You don't remember that? No clue. I have no idea what you're talking about. Speaking of getting old, you know who's getting old. Alec Baldwin is getting old. I saw Alec in New York. Oh, you did. And I saw Drew Barrymore. Yeah, I saw Drew Barrymore in New York. York. Yes. She does not seem to be getting old. No, she looks lovely. I was in Soho, which is, you know, the very posh part of New York, right? All the fancy stores are there and, you know, the streets are lovely and restaurants and all this. Soho and Noho and Flatiron and all that stuff. You know, that's like a trendy, cool place. The New York Fashion Institute is down there. So it's a lot of young people. Is the high line near there or where's the high line?

I don't know if I'm being honest. You mean the walkway above the... Yes. Yeah, yeah. No, I think that's on the other... It's in the city, but I think it's up further north and west than where I am. Okay. But it's a lovely part of town, and I'm all over Soho and NoHo lately walking around to this meeting into that meeting.

And so the other... South of Houston, north of Houston? Is that what the Ho? South of Houston, North of Houston. Okay. Hauston. Housden, that's right. So I'm walking down Broadway and I'm going back to the office where I'm working. On Broadway.

And it's not unusual to see a big black car pull up and, you know, people get out of it. And sometimes you know who they are and sometimes you don't. It's not also hard to spot celebrities in this part of the world. but I'm walking and there's a Uber guy gets out, opens the door this way, and I'm walking this way, and out jumps two children. And one of them kind of does this like little spin and little twirl.

And I'm walking and spin a little twirl. And she knocks into my leg, right? And I was like, oh, oh, oh, sorry, sorry. And who's getting out of the car? Alec Baldwin. Alec. Yeah. And two nannies appear out of nowhere out of there.

And so the nannies are like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And Alec Baldwin looks at me. He goes, he goes, kids, sorry about that. And I was like, yeah, that's no. Are you Alec Baldwin? You look so much older in person than you do on your Instagram. He's aged.

He has. But, I mean, not only is he older in age, but. He's got so many young kids. And the kids and all of the troubles that he's been through. Yeah. I can only imagine how that must weigh on him. So, you know, but he was walking into what I assume was his apartment, right? That's what I assume is that he was walking into where he lives in this building in New York.

And I just watched him kind of walk away toward the door of this building. And I just noticed that he was just kind of hunched over and like, you know, walking with a stiffness. And I thought, he's getting old. But he is like 72, isn't he? He is, I think. Seventy-seventy-three. Yeah. Those kids are young, man.

Gosh. The kids are young. They each had a nanny. It's how I sized the situation up was that there were two children with him and they each had a nanny with them. I did not see his wife. I would have liked to have seen her, but I did not see his wife. And then I was walking around the boutique district of Soho where I'm staying where the hotel was. But they denied you entry into the store.

Chrissy, some of these places, it's like I went shopping the other day. I needed a pair of jeans. And so I was like, okay, let me see if I can find a pair of jeans under $100. I couldn't find a pair of jeans under a thousand dollars. I was going to say. It was insane. I was like, this is not the place to go shopping. I was asking somebody that in this place where I'm helping out.

I said, where do I go get a pair of jeans? And she goes, Uniclo, right? Like the store, Uniclo? And I go, okay. And how much am I going to pay for those jeans? And she's like, it's the only jeans I can afford in this part of that. I was like, okay, maybe I'll go look there. But I was walking in this boutique.

district just to get to where I was going. And across the street comes shuttling this little pocket rocket rocket fire brand of a human being by herself and cuts, she cuts right in front of me. And it was Drew Barrymore to go into like one of these boutiques, like these little dress shops. And I was like, I go, oh, that's Drew Barrymore. I wanted to say hi because I like, I like Drew Barrymore too. She looked at me with a smile, but I, you know, what do you do? Well, what do you say? I like you. Yeah. You're my favorite. I just watched D.T with my kids. scared the shit. Can I shop with you?

I'm looking for jeans. Hey, I'm Brian from the commercial break. Can I shop with you for jeans? Right. Yeah, I didn't want to do that. And then, yeah, you see a lot of, there's, and other people, I've seen other celebrities just walking around. Did I tell you about the, like the, you know what Stozy is? Yes.

Did I tell you about Stozy? Yes. Yeah. This fucking line at Stozy. The line. Yeah. Okay. I'm not waiting in line for Stusi.

I'm not even sure I could afford Stusi, even if I got in line and made it all the way there. I'm not sure. But I will tell you what, there is a line outside that store every fucking day, every day. And they close by like 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock, because I think they're just sold out of whatever it is they have. Or they've got to let all the rest of the people in line in. Yeah, I have no idea. I don't know why. It's crazy.

And then they just opened like a Rayban store there. And the Rayban store is like a champagne bar. Wow. It's so crazy. The amount of, if you live in that part of town, you are part of the one person. Oh, yeah. There's an old saying, not an old saying. It's new to me, but everybody says it, says it's an old saying.

If you, no one lives in Soho, they just go to Soho, right? Because it's so fucking expensive. So expensive. New York in general, but yeah. Oh, my God, New York's expensive. I went out to eat. We went to a little, a little cafe, just like a little street cafe, right? one of these, like, I love those little street cafes.

A trittoria. Yes, a trittoria. And we go. Or is it tatoria? Toritoria. I'm not sure. Don't care. I'll say torturias for the rest of my life.

So we go and we're in there and it's the size of this room, right? Yeah, they have like a little patio outside. That's the new thing in New York since COVID is they all have these boxes that they build and they sit them out on the street and they have tables on them and, you know, coverings and stuff. So we go in there. It's like three of us. We go in there, we sit, it's like lasagna, spaghetti, brusquetta, stuff like that.

And we order, all of us, we order two appetizers. All of us order an entree. $210 for this little, like, and the food was good. Don't get me wrong. It was good. The service was wonderful. Don't get me wrong. It was wonderful.

But $200 worth wonderful, how would I take my family there? How would I ever afford to go and sit and eat and spend all that kind of money on fucking lasagna? It's crazy, Chris. It is crazy. Yeah, we got to get out of this war. We got to get out of this war so that we can like tempered so that everyone can calm down a little bit. I think that's going to make the price of lasagna go down. I think the price of lasagna is high because of the war. I want some lasagna now, actually. Oh, my God, this lasagna was great. And it was like squitting dyed pasta. Oh, right. Pasta that they used, the lasagna that they used. That's that that place down. It's down near me. Yeah. And so at first when I cut into it, it was like black pasta. I was like, oh, what's that? But then it did give it a little bit of flavor. that made it just that much better. And it was just like old style, sloppy lasagna,

brusquetta with the toast a little bit burnt. When the brusquetta showed up and the toast was burned, I thought to myself, they burned the toast and they sent it out. But there's a reason why. That burnt bread gives it a little extra something. And I don't know what it is. It cuts through the acidity of the tomatoes.

It's lovely. Look at me. I'm Anthony Bourdain now. By the way, Anthony Bordane, new biopic coming. Ooh, I can't wait. Did you see the trailer? No, I haven't seen the trailer. You got to watch it.

Is there somebody that's playing him or they had footage? No, someone's playing him. Okay. Someone's playing him and it just is focused on that five-year period of him getting into chefery, into cookery. Yeah. And that's what the... I read two of his books. Yeah.

Restaurant Confidential. Yeah, restaurant confidential is so good. It's so good. So good. And the whole first half of the book is about this five-year period. Yep. They must be based in on that. Yeah.

When he starts cooking in the seafood restaurant. and the kind of the misadventures of a bunch of young guys working in a restaurant together over the course of these summers and how much trouble they get into and the drugs. Yeah, this is in New York, but like not downtown, downtown. But then he went and became a famous chef downtown. And I cannot wait to see this movie. It's also blessed by the Bourdain estate.

Okay, good. Where the documentary that came out after his death was not. So that was weird. Everyone was like, what? And they said it's because they tried to put a narrative to his story when his life didn't have a narrative. That wasn't what he was about. But I think that was what he was about. He put all of these wonderful hours of television together that had a narrative.

Get out there. Eat the world. See the world through other people's eyes. Yeah. Culture. There is a narrative there. So I don't agree with that. But okay, let's go see this movie.

Let's support it. Let's do it. Let's make sure Bordane lives. in infamy for the rest of his life. God, and now I miss him. I wish he was still here, because I know he'd be doing something cool. Yeah, he always was.

Yeah, I know he'd be telling the, I just know he'd be telling that narrative would be so good right now through those hours of television. Maybe it would have changed into another kind of show or whatever, but he would be out in the world and he would be helping. No, no. Good ones always die young.

That's why I'm still here. All right, YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Okay. Go there. Follow us. Subscribe. Do all that stuff. You can watch us live.

Chrissy and I. Are you, will be back tomorrow? No. Oh, we're not back tomorrow. No. We are not back tomorrow. We'll be back next week. TCBpodcast.

com for more information, all the audio, all the video. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you.

Best to you out there. podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say. We do say, and we must say. Goodbye.