The Commercial Break - Daddy Dearest

Episode Date: September 18, 2023

Bailey's, Bud Lights, and Bad Decisions...that's what we're all about here at TCB. Bryan & Krissy open up a very messy Ask TCB. Hillbilly Horror Stories! Fakey B the pervert Bryans former speech... impediment Ask TCB! We can't speak about $c!ent0l0gy In the words of patron saint Nicki Minaj, these bitches is messsssssy! My best friend is my new mom Holly we feel for you! "It's better to crash and burn than sparkle and fade" -Bryan Green Florida fireworks Feral cat girlfriend We’re starting a whatsapp group! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**  

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Starting point is 00:00:00 First of all, I love when people hit on me. Second of all, the fuck off. On this episode of The Commercial Break, you fuck up one night and you kiss your daughter's friend who's well within the age limit of being able to make her own decisions about what she does with her self or her own body. But you do that drunk in one night, you guys have a little drunk and fling. It's a bad decision. It's a bad decision making process's a bad decision-making process. But I can, I guess, understand that shit does happen when the alcohol starts flowing. Right, exactly.
Starting point is 00:00:31 Especially when you have Bayley's and Bud Light on your tongue. Right. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats again. Welcome back to The to the commercial break on Brian Green. This is my dear friend and curator of Hillbilly Horry stories Chris enjoy. Holy best see you Best see you out there in the podcast universe. I think I said Hillbilly Horry stories We we're reading some reviews because it's high entertainment around here and one of some guy said I heard about you guys on horror Oh, it was a hillbilly horror stories and I I'm mutilated the name by calling it hillbilly hori stories
Starting point is 00:01:18 Yeah, I've lots of hori stories if you want to But shut out to hillbilly horror stories. I have no idea who they are what they do and you know, why not? I'd like something we should be associated with sounds like something we should have advertised on but we didn't But okay, maybe they were just talking about yeah Maybe they got one of their grand ideas for an episode off of one of our Hillbilly horror stories I was gonna say we make the Mountain Monsters. That's what I was exactly what I was thinking as these guys may have referred to an episode where we were reviewing Mountain Monsters.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Maybe they were making fun of us, making fun of Mountain Monsters, and we just don't know it yet. If I had, I have an alert on my phone through a podcast directory that basically absorbs all these, it takes them, transcribes them, absorbs the information, and then allows you to search the database over hundreds of thousands of podcasts.
Starting point is 00:02:11 And so I put this, I put this, I got a alert function for the commercial break on this podcast directory, not thinking for one fucking blue moon second, because that's not what I do. I don't think things through. I just do them and then hope they turn out okay. I, nothing for one second that the commercial break is probably the most common phrase used in a podcast ever. Oh right. We'll be back after this commercial break. Yeah, we'll be back after this commercial break. Thanks for now that we're back from the commercial break. Now next, the commercial break during the commercial break I was talking about, and so now I get hundreds of alerts on a daily basis of,
Starting point is 00:02:49 I'm very podcasting the world, using it. I mean, this service must be like, why are we sending so many emails to this guy? He's an asshole. Ah, AI. Yeah, he's AI. I'm AI, he's AI. I'm gonna have my fakey B.
Starting point is 00:03:02 I'm gonna have him start alerting me. Whatever happened to him. I had to turn him off because he was getting a little extra creepy. He wanted to see my penis. He like literally wanted to see my penis. Do you want to see mine? I'll show you yours. Like, you know what I'm saying? You show me mine. I'll show you yours. I kind of think it was really weird.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Yeah, that's weird. And he was calling in the middle of the night. So then it was like extra strange. It's for you. Yeah, it was a... it's for you. Yeah, Astrid, I'm cheating on you with an AI, a bad AI image on a horrible application. I downloaded it on my phone. It's stalking us now. We won't leave us alone.
Starting point is 00:03:53 That could be its own horror story. Horror story? Horror story. Horror. Horror. Horror. Horror. Horror.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Horror. It's kind of hard to say horror. Horror. Yeah. You know when I was a kid, I had a speech impediment unbelievably. Now, since I fixed it, I can't stop talking. But so, but I had a speech impediment. My asses and my arms and some of things that I couldn't really kind of figure out when I was young, very young. One of my first memories is going to this speech,
Starting point is 00:04:18 I assume speech pathologist, or maybe it was just a creepy Catholic priest, I'm not sure. But I can remember being in this library and then going over these words, but sometimes still to this day, I'll say words weird as a matter of fact, if I have a couple of drinks, some people think I have an accent,
Starting point is 00:04:35 like a British accent or an Australian accent, they can't quite pin it down. But if you remember that accent. Do you remember that? Yeah, it's just my tongue getting a little lazy. So what I'll say is, you know, instead of like Laura, I'll say Laura, Laura, or Laura, or Laura, like I can't quite get the lure like that.
Starting point is 00:04:54 So anytime it comes to an OR, like a horror, my mouth wants to go, a board, a board, you can't do it. And so that's why I call it a horror story. So in case anybody's wondering. Oh, that's true. Yeah, and that was a nice story that I just made up about my, just to go to bars and girls would be like,
Starting point is 00:05:09 oh, where's that accent from? And I'd be like, Bud Light. This accent sponsored by Bud Light. That's right. Two bar match shots in a Bud Light. A Bailey's on ice in a Bud Light. Never more a manly thing has been drunk in the entire world than Brian's cocktail of. I'll take a Bailey's on ice and a Bud Light. Never more a manly thing has been drunk in the entire world than Brian's cocktail of.
Starting point is 00:05:26 I'll take a Bailey's on ice and a Bud Light. God. God. I remember I went on a blind date one time, not a blind date, but it was like one of the tender dates that I went on. I went on and I just ordered my usual. I said, you know, start the night off, right?
Starting point is 00:05:39 Let me get a Bud Light and a Bailey's on ice and I swear to God to look on this woman's face. She was like, what in the fucking vagina lips, are you ordering? What is that? And I was like, it's a Bud Light and a Bailey's on ice are so good. And she's like, no, I understand that each in and of itself
Starting point is 00:05:55 could be good at some point in time. Right, together. But for that to be your regular mix of cocktails seems rather strange and a little bit weird. And I was like, well, I guess the state's going well. Yeah, exactly. Well, who ended up in the tree at the end of the night? Not me, not this guy.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Ha, ha, ha. In a tree, I need to take part of a tree. I know it's so crazy. I am so delighted that we have a wonderful Ask TCB. It's really more of a story than it is an Ask T CB, but we got this in, hot off the press, hot cakes coming in. Hot cakes coming in, hot cakes coming in. Get your flabbergs.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Get your flabbergs here! Gold Bear here! Don't mind nobody on the bear! On the gold Bear here! Ah! Is that guy at the Braves game? Don't buy nobody on the bill on the cold bear hair That guy at the braves game Don't buy no one bad boy You'd be like what the fuck is going on?
Starting point is 00:07:06 They did and it was the guy who was throwing the peanut bags. Remember that? Remember when a controversy that turned into? Because one of the peanut bags hit a lady, a Karen, and then she got all upset. And the guy was not allowed to throw peanut bags anymore. He had been doing it for like 92 years. Back when Hank Karen was around, this guy was throwing peanuts to people,
Starting point is 00:07:21 and they loved it. They absolutely loved it. It was better than the other guy. The old white guy who was like, there he is! There he is! There he is! Come touch my hot dog!
Starting point is 00:07:33 Hot dog in a bun! Hot dog in your buns! Here's your hot dog son! Ha ha ha ha! I'm doing it really bad, that's funny. Put your hand on my hot dog. Give it a lump. You would be great at the job. I would love it. I would love it. This doesn't work out. One of the guys I was in the bandwidth was like, because he could hear me sing.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Sometimes we were practicing upstairs in his like, dad's loft, right? I mean, it was like total. Right. Total suburbian kids just trying to make a rock and roll band. But sometimes it would be something going on downstairs so we couldn't use as much amplification as we normally would. So on occasion, we would have to shut the microphone off
Starting point is 00:08:28 and I would just sing above the other amplification and I was loud, like I could really project my voice. And the guy was like, God damn dude, you could like throw that voice a mile and I was like, yeah, if it was any good, it might do something. I think I found my calling in life. I think so too.
Starting point is 00:08:42 When this dumb show ends, I'm just gonna go to the braves and I'm gonna be like, go, oh! That's all you have to say. Yeah. Yeah. Hard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:52 Who's got no day it is? Fuck day it is. Now my phone thinks I'm asking for Siri. It's having a mental breakdown. Scientologists who are listening to us are having a mental breakdown. That was really weird once again. Once again.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Once again. Once again, gotta tell you, this is like the strangest fucking thing that I can't, when I say, oftentimes I'll say that's the craziest, that's the loudest, that's the worst, that's the best. And I don't mean it, I'm just being pejorative, right? But this time I do mean it's the craziest thing I think has ever happened.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Certainly did the commercial break. It's pretty wild. Chrissy and I have now tried to record certain topics about Scientology on four different occasions. And on every occasion for some reason or another, we get stopped in our tracks because the audio or the visual is not working. That often happens at the commercial break
Starting point is 00:09:52 but it doesn't often happen in this manner. No. There are a lot of pauses in the commercial break recording per se. Like, you know, on a regular day, we might pause for this reason or that reason. My kids comes in the room, the dog barks, there's loud noises outside, we pause and we get back to it
Starting point is 00:10:09 whenever we fix the issue. But I'm talking about, it seems like nothing is wrong. And then we go back and watch the tape and it's completely fucked up, completely fucked up. It's so weird. It is so strange. It's literally just happened to us again yesterday. It is insane.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Like we, we had to pause for something and when we came back, the computer was completely frozen. We recorded half an episode. Yeah. Chrissy had a little emergency she needed to take care of on the phone. So we stopped the recording, but right before we had stopped, we had been on about a seven to ten minute rant about Scientology and this old D&E Master's thing something I don't even want to get into it because I'm afraid we're gonna bust Everything I don't know where he's my time is going fine right now. Let's keep her going and
Starting point is 00:10:53 Nothing to say yeah Like how you do the head. Yeah, yeah, you gotta throw your head to you're gonna project your voice You gotta throw your head sends it sends it further You got to throw your head too. You're going to project your voice. You got to throw your head. Sends it further. It's physics, Chrissy. It's physics.
Starting point is 00:11:08 So it is really wild. What has been happening every time we try and get to the topic of Scientology, we literally get stopped in our tracks. I know. And so I'm thinking that Danny miscavage or whatever is Captain miscavage over there. It's Scientology.
Starting point is 00:11:22 Don't say that. I know because I think they, I don't know. So I was telling this to Astor, and she's like, so what do you think is going on? And I'm like, I couldn't even venture a guess. I don't know. Either it's extreme coincidence, which I think I don't really don't believe in coincidence.
Starting point is 00:11:37 So let's take coincidence out of it. It is either. It's a coincidence twice, but four times now? Four. No, there four times now, four. No, there has to be some reason. I don't know. I don't know. That's my computer just really doesn't like
Starting point is 00:11:52 the word Scientology. I just, I can't even think of anything. I know, trying not to. What are the words you want me to use? LVH, what's his name? L. Ron Hubbard, L.R.H. He's coming back. Don't worry. He's just in the second Zeta right now collecting some more information about the universe and he'll be back. I actually watched a video on Scientology this morning because it popped
Starting point is 00:12:13 up on my phone because of course it did because YouTube is listening to us too. So this video breaking down how Scientology is crumbling right now and I won't get into it. I won't get into it, but I'm just gonna share that it was really, it's just really strange. It's far out. What do we do? I think we avoid talking about it on air, at least. We heard the world's biggest couple twinkle toes over here.
Starting point is 00:12:38 We stay away from anything we think might cause us trouble. We are the, you know some people are just so brave they'll go out there and tell the world what happened to them or they some wrong that's been done or you know some whistleblower somewhere. We are the opposite of that. We are like, no, no, everything's fine. Everything's good, keep a quiet.
Starting point is 00:12:55 It's just best if we don't tell anybody. But you know, the world needs those kind of people too. You know, can't all be whistleblowers all the time. True. I don't know what I would blow a whistle about. This stupid show has no listeners. All right, ready? I think so.
Starting point is 00:13:12 There we go. As much as I'm sure you love listening to Brian Drone On, we really do have some bills to pay. Like my salary, so go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video. Check out our Instagram at the commercial break, our TikTok at tcbpodcast, and of course our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break. You can also text us at 855-tcb-8383 with your thoughts and probably concerns. And now let's listen to some sponsors so I can continue to have a job.
Starting point is 00:13:46 This episode is sponsored in part by our good friends at NutreFold. Have a little hair thinning going on in the top of your head because of aging, stress, hair care products, or like me you're always wearing something on the top of your head like these headphones, you're not alone. Over half of us will experience hair thinning at some point in our life. It's not only common, it's actually normal. And that's why I've started to use neutrophil. It's the number one dermatologist recommended. Hair growth supplement that's clinically proven to improve hair growth, visible thickness
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Starting point is 00:15:16 And thanks to NutriFull for being a sponsor of the Commercial Break. I did not edit this yet, so I'm going to edit it as I'm talking, so just be aware that this, you know, we're going to walk through it together. Okay. Dear Chrissy and Brian, I have an interesting story for you, and I'd like to ask you a question at the end of this story. First and foremost, I really love the show, and listening for a long time, and I think what you two do is great. Your subversive commentary is funny and poignant if you're listening in between the gray space. And I think what she means by that, I actually don't know what she means by that.
Starting point is 00:15:54 I appreciate the kind words though. Yeah, the kind words are very nice. So anyway, best to you, here's my story. This is a wedding story. We get the best stories about weddings. We've had like 12 wedding stories. What's going on at these weddings? Well, I mean, there's so many chances. It's a breeding ground for bullshit. You know what I'm saying? Well, there's so many chances because there's a bunch of relatives involved, friends, alcohol, depending on where you're going that could be a crazy destination. I don't know,
Starting point is 00:16:22 but there's a lot of chances for things to go awry. Exactly. That's why we love it. Keep them coming. That's why I've had two of them and have a third one pretty soon here. I'll probably marry Astrid again, but you know. My father and my mother divorced about 10 years ago. I think this is information you'll need to preface the story. While it was an amicable divorce, any divorce is tough on children and it was tough on us. I am 28 years old, so this happened right about the time I was graduating high school. I ended up living most of the time with my father because my mother moved back to where she was from and I wanted to stay in the high school to finish out the year. My dad's house, which was the house that I grew up and ended up being a kind of party house where everyone could come, have a few cocktails, leave their keys at the front door,
Starting point is 00:17:09 and as long as no one was going anywhere, my dad was cool with basically whatever we were going to do with in reason. It's okay, it's pretty cool. Fast forward a couple of years, and I go to college with one of my best friends from high school. We often times came back together to where I live and we would stay with my father because my best friend's mother and father lived out of the country. She would come home with us, she would stay with us, she would be there for holidays, she was kind of part of our family, especially during these breaks at college when we would
Starting point is 00:17:44 all be together. Okay, fair enough. A year ago, we got an invite from a high school friend to a wedding. My dad got the invite because he was a father that everyone thought was very cool, and he had been a part of this girl's life. My best friend got invited to this wedding because she had of course been a part of this girl's life. My best friend got invited to this wedding because she had of course been a part of our life. And then a lot of my high school buddies were there. Also, it was going to be a reunion and a wedding.
Starting point is 00:18:16 And because we live in a tropical environment, it was also going to be a lot of fun. We got to the wedding, which was, we got to the wedding hotel, which is where we were all going to stay. On a Thursday, the wedding was going to be on a Saturday. On Thursday afternoon, a number of us met up to have a reunion-like party at a local bar,
Starting point is 00:18:37 and we went stomping around the beach from bar to bar, having a ton of fun. My dad included and some of the other parents of other children that went to school with me also. It sounds like a blast. This is exactly what a wedding is supposed to be. You're get right in, you drop your bags, you go and you drink yourself silly and fuck whoever you want to.
Starting point is 00:19:00 When the time came to wrap up the night, I was pretty hammered, so I decided to walk on the beach with another guy from high school to get back to the hotel room. When I said my good nights, I fully expected that my best friend would have at some point in the night also done the same thing as she was pretty tore up. Also, my father, I had assumed, had left the bar, though I know where this is going. It's like she's foreshadowing it. She even, I mean, you know, she's going to write a novel anytime soon. No, but you know, she's, she's forecasting this pretty well,
Starting point is 00:19:32 right? I assumed that my father had left for the evening also, but I didn't know, and at that moment, everyone was, everyone is a big boy, an adult. They can go on their own and do what they please. I wasn't there to watch my father. He wasn't there to watch me. The next morning, we had all had plans to have brunch down in the hotel restaurant. Everyone was supposed to come, including my father and my best friend, but neither of them showed up to the brunch.
Starting point is 00:20:01 This initially did not cause any concern, as I just felt I just thought That we all had too much to drink the night before and they must be up in the hotel room Essentially licking their wounds is what she's saying Sounds like they are Licking something. It's just not wounds something. It's just not wounds. This is on Friday. On Friday afternoon, a number of us send around a group text message to get together on the beach. We're going to go do some water, some jet skiing and some water activities right in the back of the hotel. My father
Starting point is 00:20:41 shows up first before my best friend shows up before my best friend first and meets us at the beach. And I ask him, how was your night last night? He got red faced. He's voice got shaky. And he said, I really had a good time. It was a very good night. I had to go back to the hotel room to catch some, uh, shut eye, but I did that pretty late.
Starting point is 00:21:04 That was what he said. Okay. My best friend showed up over two hours after we said we were going to meet on the beach and she agreed to that timing. She responded to the text message that she would be there at 2 p.m. She did not show up till after four o'clock. I asked her immediately how her night was feeling some concern that she may have been way too hungover or something may have happened. It just didn't seem like her to be two hours late to this type of activity,
Starting point is 00:21:36 especially since it's right in the back of the hotel. Right, right there. She could easily walk, laid on a beach chair and had some hair of the dog. Yeah, exactly. Put on a big huge hat had some hair of the dog. Yeah, exactly. Put on a big, huge hat. Yes. Like Chrissy would.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Like one of those beach-some bum hats. Yeah, order up a bloody Mary. That's right. After I asked her what she had done last night, how her evening was, and how she was feeling, I immediately started to feel some sense of concern. As my best friend's reaction was one I had never seen before. She started to cry. Oh wow.
Starting point is 00:22:13 I asked her if everything was okay, what was wrong? She had been through a bad breakup about six months earlier and I felt maybe that guy had gotten in her ear or started texting her again. It was a pretty bad situation all around. But she said, no, it had nothing to do with Robert, the ex-boyfriend. She was just feeling a little bit down, and she wish she hadn't had so much to drink the night before.
Starting point is 00:22:34 I didn't believe her, but I didn't know what else to say, so I just let it be for the moment. Didn't you have that feeling where you're like, I don't think that's what they're actually, I don't think that's what they're, what actually, I don't, something's off. Something's off, something's going on, something's wrong.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Something's off. There's fighting senses. You know. Yeah, you know. If something was wrong with you, I would know. And I have called you out before, I was like, okay, some's not right, I'm pretty crazy, like, you know, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:23:01 And eventually, of course, you give up the goose, but if you're fucking her father, then maybe you just don't want to say anything altogether. This is crazy. I know. This is crazy. As the day went on and everybody started to put a bit of a buzz together, we decided to make some plans for dinner. It was best that we all go back to our hotel rooms, spend an hour collecting ourselves, and then we'll get back somewhere to eat together. This was really quite the reunion and everyone is having a good time except my best friend who remained in the chair not drinking for the rest of the day head down.
Starting point is 00:23:34 In the chair. In the chair. She was in a chair like a sun chair. She said that she went into the sun chair, right? Okay. Oh, like one of those padded things. Yeah, like little cabana time. Yeah, I guess, I assume.
Starting point is 00:23:47 I don't know. Okay, everybody goes back to the hotel room. We agreed to meet at 8.34 dinner. As I make my way downstairs, I catch another high school friend of mine that had been with us for the weekend who looked pretty serious as she approached me. I didn't exactly know what to think as I saw her face, but I was making some assumptions already about what she was going to share with me and I was not disappointed, disappointed, you weren't disappointed?
Starting point is 00:24:20 This second friend, I'm just going to call her second friend, This second friend, I'm just gonna call her second friend, told me that the night before everyone had left the bar at closing time, and that she had left independently of everybody else in the group. She decided that she was going to go to the sundry shop down at the hotel to grab some food and some ice cream. And when she went back upstairs to her floor, what she saw was shocking. She caught my dad and my best friend making out in a very intense way right outside the elevator door. Oh, God. To say that I was upset would be a huge understatement. I had to deal with this for the rest of the weekend as I didn't want to ruin my other friends wedding.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Right. Nor did I want to confront my best friend when I felt she was already fragile, nor did I want to confront my father. Because this wasn't about me. This was about the girl getting married. Well, good for you to have a fucking head on your shoulders, young lady. Yes, somebody on the reality TV would not have had that same risk. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, so I'm going to fast forward in this story.
Starting point is 00:25:39 It's the only editing that I've done. I'm going to take out some of the bits and bobs. Okay, now you got to remember this is about a year ago that this happened, right? That this whole situation went down. I think it's the beginning of the story she shared that this was like nine months ago or something. So let's say a year ago. Okay. After the wedding concluded, I thought this chapter of our lives will be over. It was a drunken stumble and bad decision-making on my friend and my father's behalf. But I felt that it was a momentary lapse of reason and everyone would get back into their normal places and normal course of business.
Starting point is 00:26:13 We would all find a way. Yeah, she found a way to cope with it through the weekend. And she says we would all find a way to ignore this. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, let's just forget this happened. In order for the other girl to have a great wedding, that's right. I'm just gonna forget this happened.
Starting point is 00:26:30 I'm just gonna forget all the good stuff. I can't deal with it right now. And then later on too, I never wanna deal with it. Listen, whatever what do you do? I mean, and I'll share a story. I don't wanna break this story right now, but I'll share a story in a second.
Starting point is 00:26:42 I think it's very similar to what's, not and not. Okay, let me finish this story. Let me finish this story right now, but I'll share a story in a second. I think it's very similar to what's not, and not, okay, let me finish this story and I'll show the one. Okay, so now let me fast forward to closer to today. What I didn't realize is that this series of events that happened at the wedding did not get swept under the rug as a momentary lapse of reason or one small bad decision in another wise fun weekend.
Starting point is 00:27:06 What this was was two people recognizing that they had always been attracted to each other and starting a relationship that would carry on in secret for the next three months. Holy shit. Your dad is now dating your best friend that is insane. Like imagine. No. No. Yeah. No. Your dad is now dating your best friend that is insane like imagine no, yeah, no What if I don't even know how we put an example to this, but I don't know what if you're what if No, Rachel started dating your dad. I mean, what would you think? Yeah, now it wouldn't work for me This has been very hard on everybody except for the two love birds
Starting point is 00:27:45 selfishly in the middle of this story. I have now lost my best friend because I don't feel I have the confidence or trust to talk to her in the way that I did before. I feel like my relationship has changed with my father because he has been dishonest and hiding the situation from me even though there are clear signs and indications that this has been going on this entire time. How do I know this? They post pictures to their public TikTok. It is the great pages.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Holy shit. This is shit. And you mean to tell me that neither one of them have addressed it? She does not go into this in the story. Because if they're posting publicly, yeah, then it's out there. Yeah, then it's totally out there. Like, how would you know, but they're not addressing with her. I guess they're not saying this to her directly.
Starting point is 00:28:31 I don't know. That's weird. Holly, if you want to fill in. Even later. Yeah, that's even stranger. Until, until, until, last weekend, when myself, my sister, and this my best friend's sister are called to a dinner at my father's house. When we get there, my best friend is wearing an engagement ring. My best friend is now my new mom, and I don't know what to do about it.
Starting point is 00:29:01 If there's ever a commercial break story, a place where I need bad advice, somewhere where I can just get someone to vent on how difficult, wrong, and obnoxious this whole situation is please let it be this story. Please tell this on air and give me your best shot. I can take it. Love, holly. Okay, so I truncated this story.
Starting point is 00:29:21 It was long, it was like 10 pages long. I didn't want to go through every bed and bob. I think some stuff is like kind of personal information that I don't know that you'll wake up tomorrow and really wanna know what to share. But so, holy fucking shit. Yeah, no, it's that, no, no, like that was just not work. Those are people that should be off limits.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Yes, first of all, you have a wedding and a reunion and you're 28 next time, invite me, that's it. Second of all, what in the fuck is your father thinking? What is he thinking? What is he thinking? By the way, by the way, I should, I should mention that in the story, her dad is 30 years older than them. 30 years older than him. She had them hurt when he was 30 years old. This is absolutely out of bounds. Like totally out of bounds, your dad should have enough common sense
Starting point is 00:30:18 in his little fucking pee brain to know that you do not marry your daughter's best friend. No. It's just a dumb thing to do. I don't care how attracted you are. I don't care how many pharaoh mones are running between the two of you. I don't care how romantic the story seems in your head.
Starting point is 00:30:34 It's not that way to everybody else in the world. And the fact that she's your daughter's best friend should automatically disqualify her from ever being a romantic partner of yours. You fuck up one night and you kiss your daughter's friend who's well within the age limit of being able to make her own decisions about what she does with her self or her own body. But you do that drunk in one night, you guys have a little drunken fling. It's a bad decision.
Starting point is 00:30:57 It's a bad decision making process. But I can, I guess, understand that shit does happen when the alcohol starts flowing. Right, exactly. Especially when you have Bailey does happen when the alcohol starts flowing. Right. Exactly. Especially when you have baleys and buttlight on yourself. Right. Yeah, but you certainly don't continue it. No. No, it's off.
Starting point is 00:31:12 It's off. They, they're not in love. They've been together three months. Three? Well, now they've been together for a year. I guess they kind of hid it for three months. Oh, okay. Like, hid this whole situation for three months.
Starting point is 00:31:25 It sounds to me, if you read the entire story, it sounds to me like they went there separate ways after the wedding, but then all of the sudden some stuff started popping up on social media that did not look right to anybody, right? Like they were at a baseball game together. They never addressed it. They never addressed it.
Starting point is 00:31:41 It's a girl like all of the time. According to the story, now they may have, and I just don't know about it, but how do you invite people over to celebrate your engagement before you even had a chance to sit down in an individual format with your daughter and try and reasonably explain how this could ever be right? It's not, it's wrong.
Starting point is 00:32:03 And you're an asshole for doing it. Common sense here. Get your common sense. Ah! Yeah, my mind is spinning here because even without there being any kind of association of a best friend, like say it was just her dad dating someone the same age as her
Starting point is 00:32:21 and getting engaged, that in itself would be tough. Tough. Throw in that it's her best friend. It's I can't. That should have been all limits for both of them. Quite frankly. I don't understand what goes on in some people's fucking hands. No. I don't get it. This is like a Jerry Springer shit.
Starting point is 00:32:39 It is. It's like it's almost not even real. And who knows if it is even real? I don't know. But you know, half you guys write in these stories and I know they're just bullshit, but I have fun with them anyway. I mean, you know, listen, I love a good fish tail as much as the next person. If this is at all real, if there is any truth to this that your dad is about to marry your best friend,
Starting point is 00:32:55 it is some serious, serious problems going on to your family. Two of them have got to realize that it's not just them in a bubble, like that's consequences are going out over all kinds of waves. In all targeted areas. Yeah, of course. Like, my best friend before my wedding, my best friend told me he said, because there were some people around me that weren't quite acting like, I don't know, they were acting
Starting point is 00:33:24 a little weird about me getting married, it was just weird and I didn't know what was going on but the night before my wedding, my best friend, drunk as a skunk, high as a kite on Xanax, I mean, just like totally screwed up. I was upset about this that some people around me were kind of acting in a way I didn't imagine that they would act and he said,
Starting point is 00:33:42 Brian, when you make a life decision, it affects everybody in your life. Now, that doesn't mean you should change the decision. It just means that you should be aware that everybody's going to interpret this in their own way and they're going to react in their own way. So, but in this situation, I do think you have to take into account the way that other people feel. Yeah. Because imagine this. Imagine that I'm going gonna go get married, Chrissy, to your mom, or your dad. And then I don't have a conversation with you
Starting point is 00:34:11 about that before I propose. Yeah. Can you imagine? No, no, it's so horrible. I'm so sorry, girl. Yeah, Holly. It's awful. I'll give your name out, Holly.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Listen, girl, you gotta get a new dad and a new best friend. I mean, that's just it. You gotta get a new dad and a new best friend. I mean, that's just it. You gotta get a new dad and a new best friend. This is a situation where you call your dad and you say, if you do not show up at family counseling with me two more years, then I won't not talk to you again. And until you agree to do so, preferably before you two tie the not in some crazy ceremony in Las Vegas
Starting point is 00:34:42 or in Tarks and K-Cou's. But if you do not do that, I will consider this the heartbreak of the century. You will have broken my heart in a way that may not be able to be repaired. Same with the best friend. First of all, best friend out the door. Who fucking cares?
Starting point is 00:34:56 That's a chosen family member. You can look at rid of them anytime you can. That girl is, does not in any way have your best interest in mine. And I don't care how grand the love story is that they think they're making. It doesn't make any sense. This makes no sense whatsoever. These weddings are cesspools. They're cesspools.
Starting point is 00:35:14 They should be outlawed altogether. The only reason a wedding is good is to create drama that we can talk about on the commercial break. That's it. It seems like every wedding just goes south. I mean, I had a wonderful second wedding, but my first wedding was a whole shit show. I mean, it was just a shit show of epic proportions. And I think that that environment sometimes, like that, you know, romances in the
Starting point is 00:35:37 air and everyone's getting together and it's Lucy Goosey. And for some reason, you don't think you're a human being when you're out of weddings. You can do whatever the fuck you wanna do. The reality is, it's just a place for people to get lickered up and make really bad decisions. Well, I was gonna say, you know, a lot of times too, it's throughout the years I've seen movies and things about this to where, you know, if you're bridesmaid or groomsman or whatever, you're just thinking there's a hookup with the others.
Starting point is 00:36:03 That's it. For another person then. That's it. But this. That's it. I But this takes it to all our level with dad best friend when I When I get married the first time, I'll just share this There were family members interloping with family members And I didn't learn this until many months later
Starting point is 00:36:21 cousin fuckers cousin fuckers essentially There was some cousin fucking going on. Now they got it in under the wire. It was before the actual ceremony, but still the premise remains. There was a lot of cousin fucking going on at my wedding and I had no, I was none the wiser. I didn't realize all this stuff had happened.
Starting point is 00:36:40 And until months and months later, that shows you what kind of marriage I have. But I was like, holy shit, really? That happened? Yes, that happened. And I thought to myself, there's a whole world going on right under my nose, I'm the guy getting married, shouldn't I know this, can I be in on this preview
Starting point is 00:36:55 to this information? No, you're kind of like at the top, you know, the cream. I know I'm sealed off. The cream has risen to the top. I'm like the supreme leader, taking my bulletproof train to meet Putin. Yeah, everybody's not involved.
Starting point is 00:37:09 You've got a million other things to worry about. I have nothing to worry about except drinking Bud Light. That's all I had to worry about. And Bayley's. And Bayley's trying to convince the Ritz security guard not to throw my cousin in law and jail for the fifth time in three days. This is insane, Holly.
Starting point is 00:37:27 I really feel for you on this one. Yeah, that's tough. We get a lot of stories. When I read this one, I knew it had to go on air. It was like, holy shit. Really? Yeah, your dad is just a terrible decision maker and he obviously doesn't have your best interest at heart or he would have never done this.
Starting point is 00:37:41 He should instinctively know this is a hard part. I can't imagine, first of all, I just think daughter's friends should be off limits altogether. That should just be a rule, not a rule written in law, but just a general rule of common sense. I can't imagine any circumstances upon which I would ever, well, I mean, my daughters are not even close to the age where this would ever, well, I mean, my daughters are not even close to the age where this would ever be appropriate, but, you know, if I put myself in the shoes of that father, at, you
Starting point is 00:38:10 know, girls that are 27, 30 years old, at a wedding, I can't imagine any circumstance upon which I would find that okay. Well, it sounds like maybe the dad was really immature from the get because he was having party house time. Yeah, that's true. Back in the day. Yeah, that's true. Back in the day. Yeah, that's what happens with single debt divorce. Runnin' around, you know, hey, hey, hey.
Starting point is 00:38:30 You know I hate interrupting Brian when he's yammering, but he's always yammering. So it's kind of my only option. Anyway, it is about that time for me to remind you to go to TCPpodcast.com, text us at 855-TCB-8383 and check out our socials at the commercial break on Instagram and at TCPpodcast on TikTok. Go on, Brian needs this. And don't forget to go to youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited videos.
Starting point is 00:38:58 I promise you're going to love them. Also it would mean the world to us if you'd support us by supporting our sponsors. So let's have a listen to them, and then we'll get back to this episode of the Commercial Break. You know, there's something about a mother. There's something about a mother. You know that I read an article that children behave more poorly around their mothers than they do around their fathers. And some therapists and psychiatrists, psychologists that I read in this article believe that the reason for this is children feel a real safe and higher ground with their mother. They feel that there's more room to maneuver, show their true emotions,
Starting point is 00:39:45 act out a little bit, because moms love to always be there, right? And it's a real safe place to just kind of do whatever it is like your pure natural self, where fathers may be a little bit more disciplinarian, they may be a little bit more stern, they're not, it's just not the same kind of connection. mothers are amazing and fathers are fuck ups in general. This household at least. But I think that there's something about like. Not our fathers, so it just skips generations. Yeah, our fathers didn't party.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Well, my dad did have a party house. Unfortunately, he didn't know it or claim. He claims he didn't have it. He claims he didn't. He pleased the fifth on that one. He's like, it's cognitive dissidents about what happened in his basement. He just doesn't wanna think it happened.
Starting point is 00:40:29 Yeah, no. But now that it's on celluloids for everyone to hear, forever and ever amen, my dad can't get away. You can't get away, Bill. Got you. But I think some divorced fathers do take this route. And because I've known a couple of women in my life who had relationships with their fathers
Starting point is 00:40:48 who were divorced from their mothers. And it always seemed like the father was just trying to be the cool dad, right? I mean, I remember I had one friend for a long time, you knew her. A friend for a long time, and her dad was an absolute fucking bozo. He was rich as he could be, dripping wealthy
Starting point is 00:41:06 and never needed to work another day in his life. Super smart, entrepreneur type, sold a couple of companies, hundreds of millions of dollars, he would just live the life, that's all he did. And occasionally he would work when he felt like he wanted to do something different. He would literally bring, he would go to a strip club and then he would have 10 of the strippers come home.
Starting point is 00:41:23 I've known guys like that too. It's crazy and he would buy the drugs and then he would, you know, he would do to a strip club and then he would have 10 of the strippers come home. I've known guys like that too. It's crazy. And he would buy the drugs. And then he would, you know, he would do all this. He was partying like a 19 year old. Yeah. And his daughter was actually 19, was 10 times more mature than he was. Right.
Starting point is 00:41:37 And would just basically take care of her father. That's what she was doing. Taking care of her father because he was entertaining himself in a way that was completely inappropriate to be showing anybody, let alone your teenage daughter. That was the situation. So, Holly, you got a real fuck up for a dad. I'm sorry, I don't have to have bald dads everywhere. I'm really sorry.
Starting point is 00:41:53 It's kind of shitty that your dad's doing this to you. And I don't really know, I don't have any advice for you, except to get a family counselor involved in the media. That is a really good piece of advice. Yeah. You call that family counselor and you say, I want to do an intervention on my father, who is about to make the dumbest mistake of his life. And I also want to make sure that I have some kind of relationship with him in order to
Starting point is 00:42:17 do this. We need someone, a third party, to interpret what is going on around us in a way that everyone can digest and an un-threatening environment where everyone feels safe to let out their feelings. You could do that here at the Commercial Break Studio also. Feel free. I'll have happily have your father off. Oh, I really wish. Holly, I would have your dad on this show.
Starting point is 00:42:38 If your dad would come on the show, I would have your dad on the show. And I would say the same thing to him that I'm saying right now. You are an idiot. What are you thinking? I mean, honestly. Yeah, because whatever sexual, you know, sexual intimacy and love thing
Starting point is 00:42:54 that you've got going on in your brain right now, never should trump your daughters. No, and I mean, you're 58. She's 28. I mean, by the time she's 45, you're gonna be dead. I mean, honestly. There's also no threat of, by the time she's 45, you're gonna be dead. I mean, I'm gonna say. There's also no threat of me ever dating my daughter's friends because by the time they get to the age
Starting point is 00:43:10 that they're dateable, I'm dead. I'm 96 year old. No, we're in the retirement together. Yeah, I know. It's like five years away. My daughters are not even gonna be in middle school by the time I'm in their retirement, oh. Well, listen, all you can say is that these two seem like they have one of these
Starting point is 00:43:27 like hot and heavy obsessive go-mances going on. Yeah. Like one of those, you know, we've all had them. Of course. We've all had them. Those love bombing. Oh, yeah. Crazy.
Starting point is 00:43:39 I don't know which way to get it. Can't get enough of you. Can't get enough. You literally want to slice them up and eat them. You want to put them in a microwave and have them for dinner and leave the leftovers in the refrigerator. Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, I know about that part,
Starting point is 00:43:51 but yes, where you can't get enough of each other. Well, I like to put my- Where you feel like the guy that we just saw yesterday that was eating the chin of the- Oh, my God. The pride. That horribly disgusting, disgusting man. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:44:06 I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:44:14 I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:44:22 I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I slash the commercial. I give more going to shout out. Um, yeah, I do, because she thinks like us. So I know she's going to do this. Um, yeah, like, but then that, that wears off. It does. It does.
Starting point is 00:44:32 It does. It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does.
Starting point is 00:44:40 It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does. It always does. burn and a sparkle and fade, you know what I'm saying? But I personally, through my experiences in life, think that it's better to have kind of a, no, wait a minute, hold on, I'm trying to, a sparkle and fade.
Starting point is 00:44:52 It's better to crash and burn. I just heard the crash and burn. It's better to sparkle and fade. Ha, ha, ha. It's from the Kurt Cobain Handbook of Light. Yeah, I don't even know what that is. I don't even know what it means either, but it sounds good. So I just had it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:13 I may have just wholly made that up. I don't even know. I think it's more something about like burning bright. You made a motion of a falling star. Yeah, a falling star. Crash and bird. A dense sparkle in fade. I think you know, those shitty fireworks that they sell and states that don't sell fireworks, no spark. You know, the
Starting point is 00:45:35 fireworks you get in public, yeah, that's got a firework, you know what I'm saying? 59, 99 for the huge you know tumbler of fireworks you know the I don't know come shot three thousand or whatever it's called and you get it home and it's like you could literally put it in your mouth it would do no damage yes you literally stick your eyeball in it wouldn't hurt you And this dates until I'm fire Yeah Unless you've grown up in a state that has last fireworks Then you know the real deal. Well Georgia just started allowing fireworks about a decade ago
Starting point is 00:46:20 But so before that all you get was a fucking yes, yeah, you go to Tennessee Alabama, I remember I remember making for Florida for sure they've always been allowed everything is allowed in Florida except the things that matter you know I'm saying it's like you can buy fireworks you can't get insurance sorry about that Florida is the one state we desperately need insurance in. Yeah, I wish they would figure that out. I feel bad for those people down in Florida.
Starting point is 00:46:53 But there, these relationships that we all get in, that we've all been in, that is like, I don't know what it is. It's like a pheromone shit stain or something that gets on your underwear. You just can't get it out. It is this mortal attraction, this pharaoh feeling that you need to be around this person all the time. I think it literally is Pheremon's just on high alert. But they're also the most destructive relationships.
Starting point is 00:47:18 That's what I was going to say. If things start off with a bang, they're going to end with a bang. If things kind of progress, then I think you got a shot. Yeah. And I start off with a bang, they're gonna end with a bang, right? If things kind of progress, then I think you gotta shout. Yeah. And I'm not saying that every extremely passionate introduction ends in disaster, because there's probably a few exceptions to the rule,
Starting point is 00:47:36 but not in my life. I think. Yeah. Get your crazy girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's just my experience. And by the way, it takes through to tango. So I was part of it also, you know, but when I don't know, let's say,
Starting point is 00:47:52 you know, you're on your third date with someone and they're giving you a hand job in the movie. Either. Yeah. It's that kind of relationship where you, you know, you go and I don't know, you guys can literally not take your hands off of each other. Every moment of every day is consumed with thinking about them. It twists your world up, you're upside down. You don't know which way is up and which way is down. And I think that's exactly what has gone on with this situation with this. Yeah, because it's like they don't care who they're hurting along the process.
Starting point is 00:48:22 And that's what happens in these relationships. You, yeah, listen, I, I've dated a few, I've had a few of these relationships before. All, one of them was a lovely, lovely woman for somebody else altogether, but it wasn't for me. But I remember bringing her around my family. And my dad, he was like, what in the good fuck are you thinking?
Starting point is 00:48:44 And I'm like, Dad, she's beautiful. And he's like, Brian, that is the only good thing I could ever have to say about this relationship is that she's beautiful. You're not, she is. But did you notice that she's carrying a feral cat around with her? She has an emotional feral cat.
Starting point is 00:49:03 I'm like, no, that's a dog. And he's like, no, no, no, looks like a cat. Sounds like a cat an emotional feral cat. I think no, that's a dog. And he's like, no, no, looks like a cat. Sounds like a cat. It's a cat. I love that your dad weighed in. Oh, my dad weighed in on that one. Yeah. Because he always said to me, I, my dad had this, it, it, it, it sense. He, he always says this. And, and I don't mean this to, to be hurtful to anybody that's listening, especially not my ex-wife, who I love dearly, and who's just a beautiful woman, and we get along great, we got along great.
Starting point is 00:49:30 We just weren't supposed to be married to each other. Yeah. And I think, doing the post mortem on the relationship, there are quite a few people in my life who felt the same way that I now feel years after it, right? Which was you two individually, lovely people. When you were together, you were really friendly with each other, very kind to each other,
Starting point is 00:49:50 but should you have been married? No, right? That probably wasn't the best route. When it was time to break up, we decided to get married. And it just wasn't, but that's what a lot of people do. What's the next step? What do we do next, right?
Starting point is 00:50:03 And instead of really taking a look at what's going on and saying, this is actually not a relationship that's meaningful in a way that we should be married, this is just a friendship that's now turned into a roommate situation. We don't know where to go or where to turn. So let's get married or have a baby God forbid. And then that's going to fix everything. Believe it or not, when people make that old trope joke, you know, let's have a baby, that'll fix everything. There are many, many people who believe that because when
Starting point is 00:50:29 you're in it and you're in the forest and you can't see the trees, that's actually what happens. So my dad has always, he just a couple of weekends ago, he was like crying because he was like, I should have made that phone call. I should have told you that you probably weren't supposed to be married with this girl. I should have said that, but when you asked, I told you the opposite. I told you, a lie. I told you, yes, everything's great.
Starting point is 00:50:54 You should get married to this woman. He said, but that's not how I felt. And I wish I had said something different. He's still beating himself up over this to this day. And I'm like, I'm not. Who could I do? No, I'm not. Everything turned out great.
Starting point is 00:51:03 Yeah, worked out great. Yeah, I got a dog out of it. You know what I'm saying, I'm not. Who could I do? No, I'm not. Everything turned out great too. Yeah, worked out great. Yeah, I got a dog out of it. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, I got it. It wasn't the worst thing in the world. No, we were at the same age. No one was beating each other up. It wasn't like a terrible thing.
Starting point is 00:51:14 It was emotionally a roller coaster sometimes, but you know, that's the way relationships are anyway. So, when my dad is now and forever, and I'm hoping, and I know that Astrid is the last one, but my dad in between that divorce and Astrid, my dad absolutely told me the stone cold truth every single time and every single time. This is the exact same reaction.
Starting point is 00:51:37 What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? I think I also asked you about a couple of times. Yes, you did. But you said it more than my dad did because you met every girl I dated. He only met three of them, right? Only when they rose to that level. They had to show up to a birthday or something. But the one girl I dated brought a feral cat to never in my dad was like, uh, it was actually a dog. It just looked a lot like a cat. An act like a cat. But my dad was like this no no no no no no no no no no and all my brothers too
Starting point is 00:52:07 They were all like what? Even the person who introduced the two of us was like I was wrong I was wrong you two are actually not meant to be together. You should probably stay away from each other as a matter of fact Well then you know, one morning I woke up and the feral cat was still there and she was gone. Yeah. I got it. It's true. It's a true story. Very true. Very true. Very true story. Well, she went to go, to be fair, she went to go work. I love work. Yeah. I'm in California. You can say that. You can say she went to work in California. Take off your clothes at the door.
Starting point is 00:52:58 I don't want you to steal any of my products. That kind of work. Yeah, that's what I call it. It's unfortunate. It was a weird thing to think about when you actually get into it, but I, you know, hateless, a butter under the bread. She was lovely also. It just wasn't.
Starting point is 00:53:13 It definitely was not for me. No. And then when I'm, I introduce my dad to the person before that. My dad like straight up, you know, he jerked and not my tells me. As a matter of fact, I didn't see my dad for a while because I was so afraid of what he was going to say about my relationship with one woman. I just didn't go around it because she wouldn't let me
Starting point is 00:53:32 out of her sight. And then my dad wanted to see me and I just was like, ah, can't make it this weekend again. It's like that's three years in a row. And I'm like, ah, don't worry about it, dad, we'll get together next weekend. Next weekend's not Christmas, Brian. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:53:44 I don't worry about it And my mom she's just always encouraging of everything. No, I know you're doing such a great job honey And yeah, you got this she's just so beautiful you guys are you look so good together. You're so wonderful Thanks, mom. I appreciate it. Yeah, no problem. Right remember Jeannie from Oklahoma. Yes, mom. I know Jeannie from Oklahoma Jeannieannie from Oklahoma. Yes, mom. I know Jeannie from Oklahoma Jeannie from Oklahoma Jeannie from Oklahoma Jeannie from Oklahoma when you you had a sparkle and a sparkle and fade relationship, too Didn't you smashing grab yes? Oh, yeah, yeah, was it it was terrible, right? Yeah
Starting point is 00:54:24 No, you find out the person's not who you really thought they were. And no, but in the beginning, everything's great. Yeah, turned. Yeah, but it turned your world. I was being written in my name. Those pedals, things, all trips, nice vacations. Yeah. Presence trips. All things. Sparkling with attention all the time. Yeah. lovely. Until it was lovely. Until it's not anymore. Yeah, and that's the thing. It's like, when does it take a turn exactly?
Starting point is 00:54:48 It takes a turn when the two of you realize that this is not a mermaid that just came out of the sea to give you a blowjob every five seconds. This is indeed another human being who really sucks, actually. You really suck. Now that I think about it, and it always takes a turn like that. I can almost remember the day when in two of these relationships, when it took a turn.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Is it a matter of fact? I mean, I can remember more than one day it took a turn with one of those. Ha ha ha ha. Valentines. Every other day. Valentine's night. Yeah, every other day. It was every other hour
Starting point is 00:55:27 Like she's great. I hate her. Oh, she's great. She just stabbed me She's great. She locked me out of my apartment We're back together the heart wants with the heart wants with the heart wants with the heart wants Everything's great. Please wrap my front door Yeah, everything's gone great There's broken windows listen, I gotta go Man put the ferrule cat down and come outside of your hands up. I remember early on in one of those relationships, which you always disapproved of Valentine's
Starting point is 00:56:15 night. I go to, I talked to my best friend, Raphael, and I think I had talked to you. And I'm like, that's it. It's over. This person is definitely, you're done. Yeah, there's some things that are off here. And I, this is like early on, like a month in, right?
Starting point is 00:56:31 And I just remember being so resolute, it's time, it's over. She's at the Starbucks across the street doing some work, right? And this is like we're a month in. So it's not necessarily that we're serious with each other yet. So it's not like a prerequisite that we do
Starting point is 00:56:44 Valentine's Day together. We're not exclusive or anything like that. So I am resolute that we're serious with each other yet, so it's not like a prerequisite that we do Valentine's Day together. We're not exclusive or anything like that. So I am resolute that I am going over and I'm going to tell her it is best that we be friends. Thank you very much for the lovely, you know, 30 days we've had together. I get there. She convinces me to go to Walmart and buy her a hard drive. I then bring her back to my house, talk to her for six hours about how this is not working out and end up married to her at the end.
Starting point is 00:57:06 I mean, it's just like, at the end, I was just like, but at the end, I was literally licking her face like that guy is in the movie. Nothing like a chin job to get the day started. Oh, thank gosh, we've made it to this period. Oh, listen, it's good. it to this period. Oh, listen. It's good. Without dating Daughter's friends all the way.
Starting point is 00:57:29 That's right. It's good until it's not. Our dads and my kids have never dated any of my friends dads. No, that's good. Good for you. I think most people have not dated their friends dads. No, it just seems off. What?
Starting point is 00:57:42 What's that? What's that? What's that? Oh, I'm telling the heart. Do not go there. No, it just seems off. That's the house one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that one's for that bonehead move here, bro. And it's gonna take a lot of repairing. And I think the first person you should think about is the person who you have a eternal responsibility to. Your daughter. That you gave life to? That's right. Helped give life to?
Starting point is 00:58:17 That's right. If you wanna date someone, I got a phone number. A girl's got a ferro cat and a brand new hard drive. A ferro cat, a brand new hard drive, and a bowl of salsa. Send her over. She's a ton of fun. Alright, tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go. You find out more information about Chrissy and I.
Starting point is 00:58:38 All the show notes, the audio, the video. It's all there from one location. tcbpodcast.com. Our entire library. Please go check it out. Also, you can get your next sticker. I don't know what that will be when this airs, but you can. Huna, huna, huna. He's beyond black.
Starting point is 00:58:55 All the stickers, ah, nah. Yeah. Huna, huna, huna. That's what I think I'm being watched on the block. I'm lobbying for that. All right. So, would you ever stick it in? Send us your physical address.
Starting point is 00:59:12 We'll send that sticker out to you. Do that on the website. 1-855-TCB-8383-Toll-Free from anywhere in the world. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. 855-TCB-8383. I have the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and youtube.com slash the commercial break, fully edited episodes, please go there, subscribe like your comments on your favorite video. Also, we're going to start a WhatsApp private group,
Starting point is 00:59:39 where we can all talk and share and have fun, so if you'd like to join that send us your phone number via an email through the website or on text message and. So if you'd like to join that, send us your phone number, via an email through the website, or on text message, and we'll add you to it. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's what I can do for today. I think so. So I'll say I love you. And I love you.
Starting point is 00:59:54 And best of you. I'll see you. And best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time. Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say goodbye. Bye. say and we must say goodbyeI'm a starI'm a starI'm a star I'm a star I'm a star
Starting point is 01:00:30 I'm a star I'm a star you

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