The Commercial Break - Dating Can Be Such A MYSTERY!

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

The podcast has almost 3,00,000 downloads! Bryan and Krissy still don't understand why. Maybe it was...ALIENS! Bryan gets a text from a long lost friend, last heard from 10 years ago! Memories come flooding back about the River Room. A high end steak house where the food was always delicious, the booze always flowed and "bar regulars" always found a way to strike out with single ladies. Finally, Mystery is the world's most famous PUA...whatever that means. He talks nonsense while the gang has fun. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this episode of the commercial break. What the fuck are you talking about? This is a very nice bar. It's a steakhouse. Like, you know, you don't put- No, no, no, no. No, don't hang a buffalo heads in there. You can't stop a man on a mission.

He hangs those buffalo heads. Did he? Chrissy? It didn't take three days before those buffalo heads came back down. I mean, he mounted a lion on buffalo and elephant. Oh my god. The baby bear. He offended everybody. You're 25. I don't know. Is that making you hard right now? You're getting a little wet. Are you soaking through your panties? Is that hard you hard right now? It's getting a little wet. Are you soaking through your panties? That hard wire coming through.

Yeah, did you know you could probably use a nose job, just like no girl. Hey, if you tried eye cream, hey, girl, you got a tanning bed. You want to show up to one of those, everyone's more? You should stop shopping at Walmart, girl. Ha-ha-ha-ha. A guy can come along and convince his friends to kill you.

Oh, kids are killing you. And that's why his friends to kill you. Oh, kids are killing you. To kill you! God! I don't think it was so interesting. Bob and Steven are so bright hitting on to... It's on you the other night. Let's go! The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Hey! Oh, yeah, look at my dude, I have another one. Take a commercial break, I'm Brian. This is my good friend, Chrissy. Hold the hand. Best of you, Chrissy. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe.

How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this The Commercial Break, the only one you'll ever need, guaranteed. News, fact, and fiction, and thirty seconds or less or your money back Yeah, mainly fiction just just gonna fill you in on that Chrissy brine. I just love you to death and I want to give you a spot of good news about the commercial break Okay, we're rolling up on three million downloads We just hit two million like three months ago, two months ago, and now we're already listening.

The aliens are listening. I also want to let you know another spot of good news and thank you to the audience. This is really a pat on the back for the audience more than it is for us. We have had yet another sponsor make that four in a month who has done what's called a repurchase on the show, which means that the people out there, you, you listening, have decided to buy or interact with our sponsor's products for service. That's amazing. Thank you. It's really cool and fucking fantastic and thank you very much, Clapp, Claus to you, golf clap for you.

That's really awesome. And if you haven't had a chance or you're ever in the market for our sponsors products for services, please do use those specialized URLs or codes for special discounts. They give you free shit. They do. And they do. And I don't know if it's really good. Oh yeah.

Oh, you see me walking Matthias around here. So now we got sick babies at the house right now. And one of them is really sick. And so she's an absolute disaster. She just wants to be next to her mom. Yeah, here infection. This is so bad. Last time I had near infection, like six years ago, it was bad.

They hurt so bad. Like your hair hurts. That's how much it hurts. Your hair hurts. Wind on your face hurts. Everything hurts. Yes. And we didn't know until today.

She'd been sick for a week. We took her to the doctor. Fucking nothing. Whatever. Anyway, I won't get into that. That's a doctor problem. But I was walking Matthias back and forth because the call map. The call map. I put him in the coach, which is like a stroller, right?

We call the coach, a Spanish. We stole, walking back and forth, and I put on the call map and they have this, like, this troll's kitchen. That is it works. I am not kidding you. I don't know about the kids, but I use it almost every single night with the sleep stories and I follow, I don't even know the end of them. Well, I don't know the end of them.

You'll never will because it's scientifically designed to put your estimate. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it's better than anyone. So what I've noticed is that they have like a troll's sleep story. Trolls the movie sleep story, right? And it's Poppy, the main character in trolls for those of you who do not have children. Poppy, the main character in trolls, she tells this story, which starts off making very coherently for about a minute

And then it starts going sideways all over the place and they do a lot of counting in the story, right? She'll be like and the trolls we were in the wankley, you know the twingly windley forest and then we saw one two three four trees Yeah, and then like three minutes later, though She'll be like and then we counted the strands of hair backwards Nine and Matthias never makes it past the third count. Oh, you're out. Yeah, you're out. You're out like a life wish that worked for me

I was even listening to some music on at the other day. Oh, yeah, some some low five beats. Yeah, and it was really nice You know what? It was really nice. That felt so calm and relaxed. They have done. It's just crazy. I got that app so many years ago. Me too. And there was like six things on it, right? And I love the six things that were on it.

We day've exploded with the content. The content is crazy. The Braun James is the story's on there. It's not a commercial for calm. We're just talking about the fact that we've got calm. It's crazy. It's unbelievable. I love it.

It's a super app. I've subscribed to it for four years now. And so, I love it. And what it greens to, I've been drinking that. I love it. Super app. I've subscribed to it for four years now. Yeah, and so What it greens to I've been drinking that I love it. Yeah, they give us free shit. Yeah, we love it. We tried it. We got the free seven I love it. Yeah, and it's again We're not doing a commercial for but we're just thinking we're not doing you guys try to you'll hear another five minutes of talking about these I'm sure Yeah, speaking of athletic greens. That, I have a friend who uses that,

like as I hang over antidote. Yeah, she says that athletic greens is something she's been using for a while. As I hang over antidote. Now I don't know that I- That's tons of vitamins and then. Yeah, I don't think that's the purpose of athletic greens, but-

I do it as directed in the mornings. As directed, she said. Yeah, how many times have you done? How many times have you done things as directed? Not Not many but I started doing it and I like it. Yeah good for you. Yeah. This brings up a good point about the the antidote to drinking. I got a text message out of the blue like a ghost text message from an old long lost friend. You know one of those? I do. Like where you get the text message and it said last text message 2003 right a long time ago

a long time ago I love this person dearly her name is Nicole She's she's a friend of mine back when I worked at a place called the river room Which was like a steakhouse that I worked out and they mistakenly gave me the keys to the building for a small period of time Until I just flush it up so bad. Yeah, I thought you were. They thought you were one thing. They thought I was one thing. Well, actually, I was more responsible than the owners. Let's put it that way.

Well, that can be the case sometimes in restaurants. The owner. His name is Tammy. Hey, my name is Tammy. He comes in one day. This guy comes in one day. It's a steakhouse, right? Now, imagine, one side of the, you walk in

and it's the center of the restaurant. Club Big Glass Storage Center of the restaurant. The bar. One side is the restaurant. Oh, okay it's the center of the restaurant. Club Big Glass Storage center of the restaurant. The bar. One side is the restaurant. Oh, okay. The other side is the bar. Gotcha. The bar has no windows at Stark.

It's dark woods. It's got brick wall, you know, long, sleek, sexy bar. Probably was smoky at one point. Was smoky. We will let people smoke in there after a certain period. It's not even after, you know, because you could, if you had a ventilation system, you could let people smoke in there.

So, when I worked there, we let people smoke. But this is long-sleeved sexy bar. And this guy named Tommy come to restaurants and trouble his going sideways. And this guy, this regular at the restaurant, his name is Tammy. And he's talking like this. My name is Tammy.

He's like a little evil villain. A little evil villain running around. He was the owner? He was the investor who became the owner. He was a regular at the bar. Sure. And then he invested in the bar. And then he would bring people in.

He'd be like, hey, bruh. You see that girl over there? And I'd be like, yeah, like the 16 year old chick standing at the host stand. That's right. Higher her. And I'd be like, higher her. He'd be like, yeah, I want you to hire.

I'm trying to date her mom. And he did this like multiple times. Oh well. It was just like he was, Yeah. Okay. He's one of those. So Saturday afternoon, and we're all standing there and see Tommy's truck pull up and everybody's like,

Oh, there he is. Tommy, what's he gonna do now, right? But it wasn't unusual for him to start drinking at the bar and form the afternoon as soon as we ever. So he comes trudging in, you know, all three foot two of them or whatever. Yeah, he, he, he, he, he, Hey, Brad, I want you to clear out all the tables in the bar.

And I'd be, why? I'm gonna hang heads up there. And I'm like, heads, what do you mean heads? I'm hanging all my heads, my hunting heads. I'm gonna hang them all up on the bar. And I was like, Tommy, the fuck are you talking about? This is a very nice bar. It's a steakhouse, like, you know, you don't put,

everybody, no, no, no, don't hang it buffalo heads in there. You can't stop a man on a mission. He hangs those buffalo. Did he? Chrissy, it didn't take three days before those buffalo heads came back down. I mean, he mounted a lion, a buffalo, an elephant, the baby bear. He offended everybody. And he's, I don't understand why people didn't like the buffalo head. I don't get it. And I'm be like, because they don't want to look at a fucking buffalo. No, I don't. This is a mild wings. buffalo here. I don't get it. And I'd be like, cause they don't want to look at a fucking buffalo. No, I don't.

This is a mild wings. No one wants to see an buffalo when they're hating. They just don't. And he would, this bar had a, like every bar, everywhere. Had a personality of its own. Of course. That came to life when the regulars came in. Oh yeah.

And Nicole and I worked this bar. And so when she texted me the other day, a flood of memories just came back about this particular place and this particular time. Yeah. And what it made me really think about was not only, you know, my friendship with Nicole, who was like, she was this girl from the UP part of the Up Up and Insula of Michigan. Oh wow. And not a very populated part of Michigan. Atlanta's a big difference. Yeah, she's like a fish out of, I mean, this poor girl.

She showed up in one of the craziest, and I've worked at a lot of restaurants. She showed up in one of the craziest bar scenes ever, and she was just like put in the, you know, she walked into the wrong place at the right time. And she wasn't naive, but I think this was all very much a surprise, but she was like, wow, this goes on, and I call Jack, this is amazing. Monday afternoon, until we get to a Friday night. It made me think of all the,

it was a bartender for a long time there. Made me think of all the regulars. Sure. The regulars. That was regulars. Those regulars, every bar, everywhere in the world. And restaurants have them too. I remember being a hostess at Outback.

Outback? You had regular stuff? Outback? Oh yeah, we had these regulars that would come in for just the restaurant part of it too. And it was like, if they were bad tippers, nobody wanted them. Nobody wanted them. But you know, you had to take them.

But it regularly only becomes a regular if they're a good tip around at the bar. At the bar. Yeah, especially at a bar like the place that I was with. And the bartender is like, everyone is deferential to the bartender because it's like the top of the food chains for as restaurants are concerned. I mean, the chef and the bartender, right? The executive chef and the bartender.

Those two people right there, they run the show. They really do. Yeah. Because the bar makes the most amount of money per capita, essentially. That's where you make a lot of your money is on, you know, you're charging. Sir, double, triple. 500% market. Right.

So, usually those regulars are men, and usually they're there a little bit too long. And I mean, long there every night, and a little bit too long there in general. Right. And so at the river room, we had this cadre of regulars, men mostly who would come in four nights a week at least. Mm-hmm. We knew it was a close. They would get entirely. We had this place was in a mixed use facility. Oh, yeah. So condos, apartments, retail, restaurants. It was all right there. Yeah, it's a long day. You're just hopping down to the bar below you.

They had to take the elevator downstairs. That's it. They took the elevator down stairs. They walked two feet and it was so crazy because one of the regs we had was a woman. Her name was Cat. She was like all of four foot one, all of six and a half pounds with a voice to match. She ran around. She was crazy, right? She was just like, oh, she was like the Tasmanian devil. She'd come in and spin shit up and then she'd leave, right? Yeah. She lived right above the ball, directly. She had like a balcony that overlooked the balcony of the restaurant.

Oh wow. And so this became like a drug den during certain nights because people were getting on. Run upstairs, they were just in between like serving food. They were like run upstairs, do some lines, come back downstairs and run in the door. It was crazy. This place was crazy. Those regulars, what I noticed, over a period of time,

this is what got me thinking about this. Over a period of time, I started to notice me and the other bartenders. We would like take score. We would watch how people would hit on other people. And we'd see if it worked out and we'd bartenders. We would like take score. We would, you know, we would watch how people would hit on other people. And we'd see if it worked out and we'd take bets and we'd write it down.

And we started like really monitoring the regulars pretty close. Yeah, let's see what happens now. Yeah, we wanted to, you know, and you can hear everything at your point. It's like a social experiment. They had a bar. 100%.

And what I learned was that almost every regular, single guy regular had their pickup line. And that pickup line never fucking changed. The words sometimes were different, but the meaning, the context of it was never changing. It was ever changed. You had the dentist at the bar, right? And his opening line without fail every time was some version of this. Hey, how you doing?

I bet your day was better than mine. And of course, it's- You have to follow up with that. Of course you do. Yeah, unless you're just a total fucking cock. You don't like, you know. I actually think I've heard that before and I've said, oh, that's too bad.

Yeah. Good. Chrissy. Yeah. Too bad. Can you buy me a drink? Yeah. Yeah.

What if someone said, I bet not, my wife died. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's still that's too bad. But he was a fucking dentist. So then inevitably would come a story about someone that got a root canal or had like, you know, plasticity. Yeah, that's no go on that. Yeah, why the fuck?

It was always bad. It never worked. Then we had this guy at the end of the bar. And he, his name was Eric. And he was a sloppy, sloshy fucking drunk. And I mean, the kind of guy who got like three drinks in, and he was just like, like, you know, melted on the bar, he was like,

oh, leaning, yeah. Anybody that walked in, anybody that walked in, that had a paraboubs or remotely looked like, he might be attracted to them, he would buy the drink, and then he would take it up to them. And this was his opening line, ready? He would go, hey, how you doing, Mames, Eric? And you know, someone would respond,

oh, hey, thanks, good, Eric, how are you? And he'd be like, live in the dream, girls, live in the dream. Eric was a guy that we had to pull away from multiple tables a week. Oh no. The girls could become visibly uncomfortable, visibly uncomfortable. Yeah.

There was a guy who was like a high flying finance guy, and he would go inside way. So you'd be like a sneaky guy, right? He'd go over and he'd play the empowerment card. I don't even know what he was playing. This is just like a weird opening line, but he'd do it every time. If there were a group of girls, two plus,

he would buy them drinks, send them down. and then at some point after they started drinking those drinks He would go down and he'd be like hey, I just I'm not trying to hit on you I just and I thought I'd buy you a couple drinks because I love seeing a couple girls girlfriends getting together and having fun It's so awesome. It's such good energy It's so great Yeah, it's like a nice. Yeah, it's just, yeah, it's blind and sad. Going under the door threshold. Like, I imagine like, have you ever seen the movie The Thing?

Okay, like years ago, it's like just like a blob that slides under doors and goes through window cracks? That was him. He had the most success, success, actual. I can imagine, yeah. Success, if success is measured by talking to the person for more than 10 minutes, Eric inevitably got kicked out of the bar because that was just Eric and we had to kick him out because everyone is uncomfortable. I mean, he would get like super close with his alcohol smoke.

Yeah. His eyes are so beautiful. Look, I'm looking in the ocean. She would be like, I do. I'm trying to eat my, I'm trying to eat my broccoli. Yeah. That's okay. I'll wait for you. I'll wait forever.

He was like this, a flip-flip. Oh my god. But then there was another guy, and I, I'm not gonna say his name because I'm still friends with him on Facebook, but he would try this tactic which I saw that never ever worked. He would talk up somebody, talk up a single woman,

or a single group of people, you know, a group of people. And then they would start talking to him and he would eventually turn his back to them at the bar. Oh. And he would tell me, this works every fucking time, man. It works every fucking time. The only way a girl's gonna be attracted to you

is if she knows you're not attracted to them. Oh reverse psychology. Yeah, that's not true. And I was like dude. I don't know what you're fucking talking about it never tried Thank God That was close Let's go see that guy on further down Come back. Yeah, I never saw this, but he said it worked all the time. It just didn't happen to work in my company. Right.

I was the problem. Yeah. Really, I'm doing it. And so as any starts telling me that he read it in a book, he explains to me, and this is the point that I'm getting to, he explains to me that he's been following a guy, a PUA, a pickup artist, a plot. He's been following a guy, a PUA, a pickup artist, a plah. He's been following a plah, a pickup artist who's been teaching him tips and tricks on how

to get women out in the wild. That's books. Chrissy and I have reviewed pickup artists on this show before. And we've reviewed some really outlandish type pickup artists who are just, you know, they're obviously just crazy people and just, you know, they're obviously just crazy people and they don't know what they're talking about. But this guy, his name is Mystery. Mystery.

Mystery is probably Voma. Like Mr. E or Mystery. No, Mystery, not Mystery. This guy's probably the most famous pickup artist in the world. Look your name, Mystery. Mystery. I mean, wait until you see this guy. And YouTube.com slash the

commercial. You another day with a girl said, my name's erotica. I'm sorry in erotica. Yeah. Oh, we were reviewing the dialed a shit. Yeah. erotica. mysteries probably the world's most famous pickup artist because he was on vh1 for a while with his own television show on how to pick up women. Back when vh1. No, never mind. VH1 is a while with his own television show on how to pick up women. Back when VH1, uh, no, never mind. VH1 is still a piece of shit network.

Back when VH1 turned from like soft rock videos, I used to like VH1. I used to turn it on in the mornings because they have like a cool alternative program. They did, yeah. It was like a morning, it was like a radio show, but with videos. Yeah. And I used to turn that on. I used to love it. I thought it was great.

But then they turned into this piece of shit network that only puts bad celebrity reality shows on. Yeah. And I used to turn that on, I used to love it. I thought it was great. But then they turned into some piece of shit network that only puts bad celebrity reality shows on. True. And this was one of them. This with this guy, Mystery. So he's a very famous pickup artist. And he is teaching men around the world. Scientifically, how to pick up women.

Only, I think he's only doing more harm than he's good. I was gonna say, yeah, these men should be taking the opposite. Yeah, at the end of the day, I think there's something not quantifiable about attraction. Exactly. It's a smell, it's a pheromone, it's a ability to communicate. Yeah, laughs together, talk together, similar interests.

Have you ever hit on a guy in a bar? I don't think so. I can't remember a time that I specifically was like, I ain't somebody. Yeah. But, you know, I did hit on Jeff, and then now we're married. So, yeah, but that was organically hitting on Jeff.

And you didn't really hit on him. You helped to carry his groceries, didn't you? Yeah, I did. That's not really what I was never that guy. I never hit on, and we've been to a million bars. Yeah, we never hit on women. Unless they were the bartender. We usually the women were hitting on you.

I have to say. I've never had a woman. Unless they were the bartender. We usually the women were hitting on you. Well, I have to say. I do. Other a couple of times I'd be like, how do you know we're not together? I think so. I think the girls would just be flocking. Yeah, well, thank you very much.

I appreciate it. You usually just turned into a friend. I could not hit the inability to close the deal. I was so, you want to hang out? I couldn't do it. I was not a hit or honor. I was like, oh, you want to hang out? I couldn't do it. I was not a hit or honor. I just never did that. I guess, I don't know.

Maybe I felt like it was disrespectful to some degree. Yeah, and I was always felt very reverential toward women. I never felt like, you know, they don't want me slapping all over them. Sure, this is true. Telling them lies. And then part of what these pickup artists have done has taken a whole subset of men

and turned them into essentially people who are just really disingenuous when they're trying to pick a woman. Now, there is a subset of men. There are people out there and lots of them, and I know some of them. Probably of women too, actually. For sure, and I'm talking to just people in general

who feel like they have the inability to communicate with the person that they're attracted to with the same sex opposite sex one. Genuinely. Genuinely, and that I can understand, I have like super empathy for that, right? feel like they have the inability to communicate with the person that they're attracted to whether it be same sex, opposite sex, what genuinely. And that I can understand I have like super empathy for that right. I'm not making fun of those people. What I am doing is pointing out that what this guy is doing is making up bullshit and he's selling you something that I don't think is at all true.

Are some of these tips and tricks gonna work with women? Maybe, sure. I mean, even a blind squirrel gets enough. I was gonna say, yeah, he tried enough at Coy works one or two times. Do you wanna watch a little bit of this? I think I can demonstrate it a little bit more. I would love to be my professional opinion.

You're a Chrissy's professional opinion. Use As Directed. Yes, As Directed. Okay. Hey you, yeah you. Thanks for listening to another episode of The Commercial Break. tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go to connect with Chrissy and I.

You can find out more information about the two of us. Listen to all the audio or watch all the video all from one location. youtube.com slash the commercial break is the place to be if you want daily clips and full episodes two days after they release on your favorite audio platform. At the commercial break on Instagram and 661-237-8296, that's 661, the word best, the number 2, why oh yo. Give us a text message, leave us a voicemail, tell us how you feel about the show, leave us content ideas, comments, questions, concerns, we'll take it all at 661-237-8296. Please do us a favor and leave us a comment and a review on your favorite podcast player, it's the only way the show grows and we appreciate all those people who have done so lately. We're going to take a moment to tell you about our sponsors and then we'll be back to

this episode of The Commercial Break. I absolutely love it when a sponsor comes on this program that I am extremely familiar with and this is one of them. Credit Karma for 10 years. That application has been on my phone. I get to check my credit frequently. I'm updated on all my financial comings and goings and the last few credit cards that I have gotten.

I have gotten directly through credit karma. And let me explain how that happens. Credit Karma makes sure that you apply for the right credit card for your financial situation. Credit Karma has done it again. It's one of my favorite applications. Now I've got a bunch of credit cards because of credit karma. No more wondering whether or not I'm going to be approved

for the credit card. I already understand with confidence whether or not that credit card is coming my way. Sometimes it's hard to choose the credit card you want because of all the offers that come in the mail. No more, credit karma's got you covered. Ben rejected for a credit card. I have two. No more. Credit Karma's got you covered. Their Karma confidence technology is helping members apply with more confidence, and that includes

me. Credit Karma uses your credit profile to show you offers that are tailored to your financial situation, and best of all, Credit Karma uses your credit data to show you the chances of your approval before you even apply. Are you ready to find the card for you? Head to credit karma and check out your personalized mix of offers today. Go to credit karma dot com or download the credit karma app to find the card for you. That's credit karma dot com. I can personally promise you this application will change your financial life. We love it here at the Green household. And I know Chris uses it too. Download the credit karma app today or go to credit karma.com.

Okay, I'm going to turn on the old TCB split screen here, full screen reaction. There you go. T-C-B, excuse me, the commercial break. Slot. Ah. Ah. Friday, I'm ready. Yeah. Okay. YouTube.com. Slot. I Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. YouTube.com slash the commercial. Great. Did I get it right? You did. You did it right. This is only the, we're only on our 77th minute of recording because Brian forgot to

press record. Okay. So here we go. We're going to do a little do a little mystery about mystery. Here you go. Now, you'll recognize this guy once you see him. Okay, oh. Are you ready to know the five attraction switches

that exist in every woman like a Tommy Lee hat from Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy? From when he was buried in Pam Anderson and then there's that famous picture. Yeah. It's the black fur hat. He's got a black fur hat on Tommy Lee's top. It's a top hat with fur.

And he had Tommy Lee's the patch thing. It's a soul patch. Or a flavor saver. He's got an under chin goatee, which means it's not on the chin, it's under the chin. It's under the chin. And he's got a lip right. He's also got 200 teeth. Yeah. I think he's got a- I'm gonna lay it a little lower. Right, he's also got 200 teeth. Yeah, I think he's exactly that.

He's exactly that. Okay. It looks like it could possibly have some eye makeup on today. He has got a vest with the sleeves cut out. And classic work. The reason why mystery gets girls is because he is so wildly dressed that I think, you know,

sometimes people listen, just listen to this guy. He just asked, well, let's listen to it again. Ready? Yeah. Are you ready to know the five attraction switches that exist in every woman ubiquitously? Number one, furry top hat. Number two, flavor saver. Number three, piercing in the flavor saver.

Number four, under chin-coated. Number five. I make up go to number five I make up a mysterious name I make up that's right the first we've talked about already a conference room I think he's in a I think he's in a room. I think he's in a double. There's banquet table. Oh my god, look at those. We're the whiteboard. Yeah. That's with a tiny little lightboard.

Notice it's not a crowd shot. Just notice that because you need to demonstrate that we are preselected by other women. We can do it through storytelling. We could do it through photo routine. We could do it live and routine. We could do it Live and in person with girls all around us I'm pre-selected by women we can do it live we can do it on the internet

We can do it. I can write a book. I could sing you a song. What about a podcast? Just throwing shit out of the pool. Listen to this because I I've watched this all the way. I've watched so many of these videos. And you start to get, if you're not paying really close attention to yourself, you start for a minute starting to believe some of the bullshit. You're like, oh yeah, I guess I could sign it if it's going to be me. Everybody pay attention. Don't get let yourself get roped in here. We can infer it by being unaffected by a particular woman's beauty and systematically demonstrating where it's not affected by doing a calibrated takeaway. Where you say, okay everybody, do you calibrate it? What the fuck is this guy talking about?

He just asked us if we want to know the five things that are ubiquitous in women, the five attraction levers that are ubiquitous in women, and now he's talking about the calculated walkaway and the inference of the mystery. He should be ashamed to yourself. How much do you charge these guys to show up at the Toronto Marriott? Are there people there?

Yeah, they're okay. Either that or, no, they might not be. I don't know. They're not showing the crowd. They're not. The girl, all right, you're losing me. And roll off with your eyes. She's going to feel that.

We demonstrated that. So we put that into virtually every set now. Every set. Wow. Yeah, fish. They write a set list before they go on. Right? They're like, you know, I'm gonna play tweezers and weasers.

Whatever, I'm gonna play tweezers and run like an antelope and all this other stuff. I can see. It's just like fun. I remember to just look away from the ground. I'm seeing mystery, but I'm gonna do the ubiquitous takeaway, and then I'm gonna do the calculated walk, and then I'm gonna do the, what the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah. Makes sense? Yeah. That's so that she doesn't know. It's not her beauty that I'm after, and that will trigger the hardwired pre-selection switch. It's the number one strongest one. He looks ridiculous. It's hard for me strongest one. You got to hide your brother.

He looks ridiculous. It's hard for me to face him. I feel like Tom Petty. It's 20 years old and a little bit too high. You remember the video that he did, though? No one. Don't come around here. No more.

Yeah, the man had her one. I feel like, I feel like he got that hat off the set. I'm really just failing. Tommy Lee's. Yeah, he just said that if you tell a woman, or if you indicate to a woman that you're not attracted to her looks, that- And look away.

That will trick, see, this is where this guy picked this up? Yeah, it did. This will trigger the hard wire in your brain that pre-selects me. Okay. Chrissy, you are ugly. How are you feeling? How are you feeling right now like going to an asshole?

Well you're wrinkly old face and you're saggy old tits match your fat ass Fuck you what are you doing later? Hey girl to me Carl. I just wanted to let you know that You're 25. Looks like 55. How do you feel about that? Is that making you hard right now? It's getting a little wet. Are you soaking through your panties?

Is that hard wire coming through? Yeah, did you know you could probably use a nose job. Just like no, girl. Hey, have you tried eye cream? Hey, Carl. What about a tanning bed? You want to show up to one of those every's more? You should stop shopping at Walmart girl Yeah, you smell like dirty hippie. I love you

Okay girl, that's how you later. I know you're wet. I know you wet right now. I know I just clicked your hardwire button Oh my god, you got value for her. Boy band principle. There you are watching a VH1 and a music video. I'm in a name drop. I'm in a name drop. I'm set up of a boy band and they're being chased by girls and kissed. Maybe you've never even heard of that fucking band before. Remember the Backstreet Boys first music video?

They weren't famous, nobody knew them, how are girls chasing you? Let's see, they were talented you in rich. Yeah. And they paid somebody to make a video. That's right, come on man. I don't know what you think, we're just living in a igloo, in Alaska.

Come on. Right? And. Right? And. Right, right, right. It worked. So we need to have women in our lives. We need to start a boy band. It's a good thing.

So we're here to start a boy band. So we're here to start a boy band. So we're here to start a boy band. So we're here to start a boy band. So we're here to start a boy band. So we're here to start a boy band. So we're here to start a boy band. So we pre-selected. Oops. Others from this video? I'm pre-selected. Oops.

I'm pre-selected. Oops. I'm pre-selected. Oops. I'm pre-selected. Oops. I'm pre-selected. Oops.

I'm pre-selected. Oops. I'm pre-selected. Oops. I'm pre-selected. Oops. I'm pre-selected. Oops. I'm pre-selected. Oops. I'm pre-selected. friends. I'm pre-selected.

Others from this point forward that you don't have women in your lives, then you won't have women in your lives. There's a bit of a fake it to you making. But over the next three days, you're going to have women... Oh my God. Hey, is this Jenny? Hi, Jenny. My name's Brian Green. I got your name out of the phone book.

I need some women in my life, so I was calling to see if that's possible. Sure, I'll pay. I'm just faking it till I make it. You know what I mean? I'm just looking for some women to pre-select me, and then I'm gonna do the calculated walk away. I'm in a boy band.

I'm in a new boy band called Mysterio. Mysterio. Mysterio. Your lives. So we'll get you started. We've got a starter pack of five women for $49.99. What the fuck are you talking about? Preselection. Again, you can't be leaning in trying to game them. It has to appear as if the girls are gaming. Kind of like Sir Miller is one of the people that stormed the Capitol. He looks like that guy. Yeah, who is a shaman? Yeah. Shaman. That's more fucker.

I think he thought he was gonna get famous on TikTok. I don't really think he meant any harm. I think he was like, He's gonna be great with my TikTok. And the FBI was like, No, two years of jake. Yeah, by the way, I mean, we've only listened to a minute of this,

but he is already like the Frankie B. He's just, he's a lot more big words, but he is already a Frankie B in the sense that he has told us nothing. And he said 25 sentences. And he said nothing. And he didn't miss the five tips that he promised. And now he's talking about pre-selection. I don't know what the fuck pre-selection is. I feel like, what, I don't know, what is that? I feel like I'm going to a dealership and ordering a car. Look at the pre-select the sun roof, is that okay? If I'm going to lock in, locking in, let's say the girls here.

Locker in! All right. And don't let her out! If the girls leaning up against the door, what you want to do is put your two hands aside of her head. Kick one leg up on the door and go, I've been pretty selected! Your hardwired kicking in. You're fat, Nugly! How do you feel? I'm here. I will not be considered attractive to any other woman who sees me when they take a glimpse past, right?

But if I'm here, like a mangling network mixer. What? Yeah. Wait, if you're talking to a girl, then why, what do you care about the other people in the room? Oh, maybe he's saying you should have like a dummy, a decoy? Oh, okay. Okay, Chrissy, let's go to the bar after this is over

Yeah, I'm just gonna hang out next to you. Hold on my hand. We're gonna see how many times I get pre-selected By the way for those of you will be back later Stick in later we're gonna go work on this pickup artist episode I might get my dick sucked a couple times pretty sure this is gonna work pretty good We really studied these videos all gonna do is lean up against the door and tell people they're ugly Fuck it's all happening And there's a girl here It is as if I just grew tits

What are you talking about? Does that make sense? No. No. Her attraction mechanism is not designed to... That's the word I'm looking for here. Bullshit! Yeah, right.

What's the word I'm looking for here? Actually, what's the rest of the seminar I'm here looking for? What's going on? Where are we? Yeah. By the way, he just talks so slow and confident. Yeah. So people believe him.

I don't miss, I don't fall people for falling for this bullshit. I really don't, because I can understand that if you're like, I guess it's your desk. Yeah. I don't know about, yeah, desperate or you just like you really want that special someone like who doesn't. It seems a lot to go through though. Yeah, I know. desperate or you just like you really want that special someone, like who does it? It seems a lot to go through though. Yeah, I know, it's all just like for yourself, talk to somebody is eventually going to,

is going to click, you're going to get preselected by somebody. Yes. But it's not going to be happening based on the way you stand against the door. I can promise you that. Yes, correct. Attraction mechanism is not designed to look at our replication value as much as our survival or social value. All right. And how do you know this?

Which PhD do you have? What are you talking about? What are your credentials? What are your credentials? He credentials. A guy wearing a fuzzy top hat has zero credentials. I could guarantee you. Fingernails, paint it black.

Anybody that has a tiny little flavor saver with a ring third, but not have a doctor. But he sure does talk like it. He does. Similarly, our attraction circuit looks at a woman's replication value more than her survival value. Chrissy, when I look at you, I think you can be replicated 12 times. Do you mind if I pump and thrust a cup for a couple minutes

if I can get another one of you to come out? The replication value. Yeah. Wow. This guy ducked deep for the bullsh**. This is survival. I don't even see this as a thing. These poor guys at this seminar, they're probably,

they probably look. I think it's their our guys at this seminar yet. I'm not even sure I'll be there, but the video has 300,000 views. So somebody is looking at this with a degree of seriousness. And I can just imagine that they're going, am I just stupid? Or how am I not following with this guy's saying?

The reason why there is a discrepancy and a skewing, if you want to say 70%, 30% or that sounds about right. Sounds about right. I did a poll in my head. Oh, we got to calculate that sounds about right. Sounds about right. I did a poll in my head. Oh, we got to calculate that for a minute. Yeah? Yeah, 70, 30. I got you.

I took notes in my head. Survival. I could afternoon. Is the man of the household available? This is Jenny from Pollstart. Yeah. I just wanted to know, based on weighted value, how do you consider women survival or replication? Oh, yes.

70-30 for sure. Thank you, Mr. Green. We appreciate your number. Mysterio, I have the numbers back. It's 70-30. Just like I thought. That sounds about right. Sounds about right.

70% of a woman's value comes in her replication value for a man legitimately. Right? Right. For women. Right. Right. It's 70% is going to be her survival value. And it is all because of one device that is hooked up to her brain that she has hardwired

into her chassis. That's right. Hit up the girls in the hospital. It's called the rabbit banger 3000 with extended her. And I'm mysterious here to tell you hospitals are a great place. This core girl. Find the ones with something hooked up to their brain. Go to the side. I can't really talk.

I've had a hundred percent success rate with women on ventilators. Right. Catch them right after triple bypass. And go, you're ugly. And you're in there. It's all good.

Don't worry about it. Another fantastic seminar by Mysterio himself. Mysterio? What's my name? I can't worry about it. Another fantastic seminar by Mysterio, himself, Mysterio, what's my name? I can't remember. We do not possess a uterus. That's it. This uterus is going to change her behaviors. We have two robots. It one has a replication of factory.

And we can assist in just by this robot by its survival after going through a big course, is able to contribute to a big course. His course. His course. Oh, my God. Hi. Stereo, this is what I'm learning and your course.

What if he's talking about? The Railbot goes into the chorus? There are pudendas going to change the way they behave. It's a big mysterious thing stuck in the middle of their guts, sends out babies and blood once a month. But don't worry, it's your friend if you just follow my five steps to... Uterus success! Five steps to make your uterus hard.

The fuck is this guy talking about? He is awful. To an adaptation of that, when a new robot is made to give it information about the environment that it is about to be plopped into. That's evolution. It's pretty elegant and simple and our attraction mechanism,

unlike you. As a part of. I wouldn't say elegant and simple. I don't think you should be using those words. I'm like, you're a different, desperately trying to hang on to some words, he's saying, like so that we can just like get make some sense of this.

But so far, it's 100% bullshit. It's like an episode of the commercial break. Only you're not paying $349 at the Marriott's, so listen. And hopefully you laugh. This guy did make fucking serious. Yeah, he really is. Our emotional circuitry has been evolutionarily micro calibrated behaviorally by millions

and millions of generations of both success stories and i feel like you can do like his own it's like a low rent version of a TED talk yeah it's a good call the bed talk maria talkriott, join me for the Hampton Intox. A exclusive series of conversations with you and just one other person. I'm a first-man. Hi, I'm Mystery, and welcome to the first annual Hampton Intox. Today we're going to be talking about microcalculations and calibrations as far as the uterus is concerned and how men are preselected

to generationally understand simply and ubiquitously how women understand and calculate their own survival rate versus replication. It's very simple. I put it up on this whiteboard. Welcome to my presentation. Simply titled, the microcalculation of uterus is throughout the generational gap when you do the 8-quit-a-stock-way, what's that? Right. I'm gonna go up. Pause for effect. This is fun. Imagine you were somewhere else enjoying the day. Yes, girl.

Imagine you were somewhere with a $599 back in your pocket, making use of that $599 to better your life. In any way. I have a 50 people, 25 female, 25 male. How many of those females in that tribe, where you will quite likely never leave, or if you do leave, you'll have to start a new one and you'll have to be a really social so you can convince people to start a tribe. When we're in the tribe.

We're gonna pick a lot of people. What? Maybe as far as outfits coming out, he's in a tribe. He's in a tribe. When we're going to come with me, we're going to pick a lot of flywear. Maybe as far as outfits coming out, he's in a tribe. He's got a tribe. He's never going to leave because he's not social enough to start another tribe. I feel like I'm hanging out with some of my friends. Late night. Yeah. Hey, we got, we're going to start a tribe. The peace and love tribe. What do you think? Yeah, man, we need a song. We're going to need a song. Okay, let's start out with cord C and play it the three hours in a row. Should we come up with a lyric that makes sense? I think Mr. East program here is just a product of many late nights of cooking. Or possibly he's on it now, I'm not sure.

Desert and we're gonna build some huts, right? If it's not enough people, it's kind of boring. That's why it's around 150 people, you know. You know? Anybody? Is anybody out there? No, I think you're right. I don't think there's anybody. I don't think there's anybody in the audience.

Yeah, there's nobody. Well, first of all, the room is tiny. It looks like a double room at the... That's what I'm saying. It's like some tiny place that you would... Yeah. Your company that's small. It's tiny.

Tiny. Tiny. Yeah, like a training. It's like a training room. It's a training room. And the training breakout session room is what it is. Yeah, you ever gotten a job and they sent you to the training and it's like you and nobody else and like two other people and you're like, hey, what's this? And they send you to it. They get they,

you're going to the Weston and downtown Atlanta. You go to the 58th floor and you show up at a double king size room with a table. That's why it works. Welcome to Mysterious's exclusive program. You need to live just like an ant in an ant farm with other ants. You can't live by yourself. So if you've been feeling sad or been feeling a little crazy, you just haven't been getting out enough.

Of those girls, 25 of them, I don't mean. I don't know if I can find one out. Yeah, know Ants went out obviously this is like This is pretty in it I think I didn't know Ants went out and socialize I know I didn't know that hey Fuck all this survival on the anhyl shit. What do you say we? Yeah, let's hit a blade of grass and get high on On round up weed killer

I'm going to be sexual viable mates Three or four, you know some of them are gonna be ugly Some of them will be taken some of them will be little girls little kids some of them are gonna be old ladies Some of them are going to be pregnant some of them are gonna be old ladies. Some of them are going to be pregnant, some of them are gonna be, I mean, protected. Not just take... Basically, you're screwed. No one's available. Start a new tribe. Protected.

So, how many girls? There you are. You're in a tribe. It's like a small town, living in a small town where everybody knows everybody. And so the dynamics are very slow to change, you know, because Daddy's been the leader and has been that way for the last 15 years. I can't be called that. Now we're getting through the problem.

He's got daddy issues. He's got daddy issues or he is the daddy issues one of the two If I'm trapped and trapped in my world and all the girls are taken right You're gonna have like two or three four girls that you have options with now if you approach the wrong girl a guy can come along and Convinces to kill you. Oh, it's a kill you to kill you I don't think of this going there. Bob, it's David. I saw Brian hitting on the other night.

Let's go! Oh! He was trying to lock in move with the complicated walk away. He's going in for the kill. I heard him tell her, I overhurt him tell him I'll ugly she was. Quick get to him, go. Behead him in the middle of the bar.

Let him start his own tribe with no head. Let him start his own tribe with no head. Oh. What? Yeah. He's really gone off the rail. I mean, you're paying for this. You are. You are.

You should ask I'm not going to ask for your money, but... Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. You're a fraudulent charge. You have fraudulent charge. You have fraudulent charge. Who?

Mystery? That's a mystery. I don't know. You approached the wrong girl and she's a 10. And just so you know, there are men. I mean, I've played in LA. I've played in Vegas. I've played in Miami.

Played what? Played what? Are you a musician? Are you really in that blood? He does look like he's trying to. Are you in the NFL? What are you talking about? Work.

I think he's talking about? Work. I think he's talking about the things that really damage places where when you approach a girl who's a 10, if you were to really seriously, seriously piss her off, she would tell those big guys at that table. This is happened to me before. That you grabbed her tip. That is what happened before. This is like picking women up

as a life or death situation. If you really piss them off, you're literally gonna die. That's why you need my new course. How to survive hitting on women for $599.99. We're gonna go next door to room 1315. I'm gonna teach you my brand new course. How to survive, get a hit on women.

And they will beat the shit out of you. They have power, right? So you're in this small town, you don't wanna approach the wrong girl. And for anybody who wants to know, LA is certainly the small town he's talking about. This is Vegas. Vegas, LA, Chicago.

You don't want to get beaten up, so we've evolutionarily hardwired into ourselves a fear of the approach for that reason. But let's say they're just all girls. Well, if you screw up that girl, you're gonna totally be a girl. Like a praying mantis. That girl is gonna reign above you and chop off your penis and throw it out the car window. Yeah, listen, listen, I've played in Topeka. I've played in Shaboygan.

I've played in Augusta. And I've almost got my penis called multiple times. This is not a game, guys. This is for real. Even though I use the word played, what I meant to say is it's serious, very serious. Look at my hat. This is the hat of a guy who says, life is serious. So we fear rejection.

Doesn't mean much if it's just a little set, big deal, there's more sets, but that's now today. Our brains haven't evolved to the plethora of women Dude, it's a corticopia. If you guys go to To Austin, there are women Hot women on the street. Imagine it's we live in paradise. There is literally pussy falling from the sky Any building you want to do? Everybody go to Austin. Go to Austin right now. You want to get to go to Austin right now you want to get laid go to Austin Everybody you walk into just a bunch of talking vagina

The women walk out of a walk around with their pudend is hanging out everywhere. It's crazy. No man in sight. It's a paradise. Yeah You ever see that the 1970s movie, Bikini Island? Where all the women are stuck on an island in bikinis? Do you guys show up? That's Austin. That's Austin. I made it that way. I, that's my tribe.

They see the hat coming down. They have to change their underwear. It's crazy in Austin. They see the hat coming down. They have to change their underwear. It's crazy in Austin. I walk in a bar literally women screaming orgasm. I can't. Mr. You've ever been to Austin. What is this guy? Oh my god. You ever been to Dallas?

Let me tell you about Dallas, not cocking Dallas, but if you go to Houston, there's tints everywhere. It's literally a straight white man's paradise. There are women everywhere. All you have to do is snag them. They're looking for time to do his kidnap them. Yeah, you know there's Cain, that I've ever looked at. All right, I'm done, I'm done. Come here girl.

You know those big, comically big nets that catch people in and the old Batman series. Just walk out of the tree with a net and snag them. They don't care. There's no men. They want to get pregnant. They don't care. There's no men. They want to get pregnant. They've got a uterus. They've got a uterus. What else do you have to say?

They're hardwired. Yeah, they're hardwired to get, take your dick. Nails, become one. Demonstrate it. Get the fucking girl. They're here. Get her. You're going to enjoy this.

You're going to enjoy this! That's a great... What a pep talk. Of the great pep talks that I've heard. You know, Coach V, you know, Will Smith's commencement speed, that one army general made everybody cry. There's plenty of women. God there and give!

What are you doing? You fat cheeto-fingered loser? Go to Austin. And play. Catch a woman. That's right, catch a woman. Go to Austin. Play your set.

Or whatever the fuck they say. Play your set. Just make sure you don't stand against the door side, guys. Because then you're going gonna grow tits. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to repress you and keep you from doing it because it's designed to prepare your design is prepared for it. No, it's designed that didn't work. You shouldn't do that again. Yeah, don't shit.

That did not work. Literally trying to catch a woman did not work. You shouldn't do that. Don't repeat that one. Go for another one. Here's one. Just be a guy. Just be a person.

A nice. Yeah. Hey. Funny guy who likes good music and awesome I you're cute. I find you attractive and you seem like you're just hanging out Do you want to listen to the music? I mean yeah Start with the words Don't pre-select your calculating minute-school generational whatever the fuck this guy is talking about because the truth is this guy's not talking about anything No, we've listened to nine minutes of almost nine minutes. What is on his whiteboard to it says ACS? Oh, he's trying to make this into science and the truth is he has no fucking clue what he's talking about

He's not a scientist. He's a guy that dresses really poorly. I mean that's what he is He's a guy who dresses poorly is nose big words. But he puts those big words together in ways that don't make sense. Ancient environment whereby if one girl in that tribe rejects you, then you don't have pre-selection. She tells all the others and your genes will be unemotion. Let's try that again.

And your genes will be unapologetically weeded out of existence. Right? It's done. You're fucked. No more girls. This guy is a shrapnel. Of course we're going to fear the approach. I'm a glass-have-full kind of guy. Name's mystery. I'm going to be generationally weeded out of existence. If I can't get some pussy in Austin.

We did out of existence. If I can't get some pussy in Austin. Yeah. So go out and get him. It's normal. The best pickup artist in the world fear the approach. I fear the approach. First set man, I'm like, so we've come up with rules. First set.

Second set. That's where the magic happens. sat man, I'm like, so we've come up with rules. First set. Second set. First set. That's where the magic happens. Second set's where the magic happens. Encore, forget about it, blow it all out. At that point, I just kidnap women. I take them back to the hotel room.

I don't have sex with a messy legal. But I make them listen to my incessant dribble until they give up and go, you want blowjob oh my god good for you mystery the three-second rule three-second rules that when you drop me down the floor yeah the three-second rule drop pussy on the floor it's not three- seconds to pick it back up and you're fucking... There. Ah. Ah. Oh. Come to three.

One, two, three. All it means is it takes approximately three seconds to go from where you are and when you decide, yeah, that's hot. To the point where you approach her, to actually say hi. It takes three seconds to get up to her. You got three seconds to think to yourself, what's my opener? That's my opener, what's my opener, what's my opener?

I'm very sure. I'm very sure. That's my opener, what's my opener? I can't remember. Ah! Ah! Tell me right away, tell me. Tell me, please.

Some girl just standing at the bar drinking a beer and you're like, what's my opener? What's my, one, two, three. Just run away. Do you see that guy? What's wrong with him? Meanwhile, you run out of the double doors of the bar, like, ah!

Ah! I'm trying to work it out. What am I going to say? What am I going to say? Nope, just start going. Because if you're thinking, what am I going to say? It's amateur hour. You know.

Ah! It's amateur hour. Yes, it is. Yes, it is that's your power. Yes it is. Yes it is my friend. Yes it is. And you know what? You just demonstrated it. All right.

It's very simple and elegant. Oh man, there are a lot of great videos that this guy has done that we can have fun with. So we'll go back to mystery because I feel like he's a bucket full of monkeys. I mean, he's just a barrel of monkeys. He He really is he said nothing in nine minutes. No said nothing except for you have three seconds to decide Go to Austin. That's what I got It's the most important thing he said Austin's full of hot chicks apparently And if you're in Austin Yeah, give us a few things

We let us know if vagina is really falling from the sky in Austin. And have you seen the fuzzy-headed mystery? Mystery. Mystery is his name. Look him up next time. Wonder where mystery is. This video's got to be 10 years old. I wonder where mystery is.

I bet this is the guy who really had a lot of trouble. He's in Guatemala. He's in Guatemala. Until the Guatemalan women figure out who he is. Exactly. Yeah, that weight amount. I guarantee this guy does not get laid very often No, no Anyway, that was tons of fun. There you go. You know all this all this in the pursuit of a of a date of a mate

Don't worry about it. Just ask him out. Yeah, yeah. And I do understand. If you're lonely, I get it. You do. Tricks, trickery. Trickery. Or kidnapping. Do what Brian does. What does Uncle Brian do? I don't know. I can't put it into words, but I think that's the point. Yeah. I don't put it into words. And I'm happily married. So I don't do anything anymore. That's right. I just sit around here editing this stupid fucking show all day long.

anymore. That's right. I just sit around here editing this super fucking show all day long. I feel like we just heard another episode of the commercial break. This guy said a bunch of words at no point. Right. It's another episode. Anyway, listen, go to TCPpodcast.com. That's where you find out more information about Chris, you know? You can catch all the audio and all the video right there from one location connected with us at the commercial break on Instagram youtube.com slash the commercial break on youtube. Also, I wanted to let you know. Text us 661 237 8296 that's 661 the word best the number two y o yo 661 best to yo. Please send us a text message leave us a voicemail tell us how you think we're doing comments questions concerns you can leave it all there text message or voicemail please do us a text message, leave us a voicemail, tell us how you think we're doing, comments, questions, concerns, you can leave it all there,

text message, or voicemail. Please do us a favor, take one minute and review the podcast on your favorite podcast player. Be a smartass like everybody else. We love it, we can't get enough of it. Okay, Chrissy, I think that's all we can do for today, but I think so. I love you.

I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. best to you and best you other in the podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I must say we always say we do say you you