The Commercial Break - Dear Glen, Bryan Is Sorry!

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Dear Glen Powell, Bryan is sorry he doesn't want to see your movie. But to save his marriage, he is inviting you to TCB (You too daisy!) The sickness is not down Christina is on a ROLL! Bryan is a hippie? (We reserve judgement) Side-work (IFYKYK:-) Petey the Pigeon is saved by a militant hippie...Bryan Bryan is holding space for you and your broken marriage Bryan hangs up on Mom!? Hell awaits him The Twisters rant did not go over well Glen Powell deserves AND gets an apology Time's Shirtless person of the year Krissy and Bryan recall being 10000 miles away from a storm possibly carrying a tornado. Bryan cries. Glen Powell / Glen Burns....about the same thing. 50 Shades of Astrid! Bryan loves the 50 Shades comedy series Bad romance novel passages incoming LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us 212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail @TheCommercialBreak on Instagram Watch TCB on YouTube www.tcbpodcast.com Forr Live Show info, video, audio, stickers and all the other goods Hosts Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B. Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Has more than one piercing, a sleeve tap. Traded her Yeti cup for an old Stanley, but now she needs an O'Walla. Overthinks everything. Work, sleep and home, then repeats. Like, where you at, babe? [♪ theme music playing. V.O.] On this episode of The Commercial Break... And I want to say to Daisy Edgar Jones and Glenn Powell

and all the people who are in Twisters, I love you, and you're welcome to come on the show. I'm saying this, I have to say this because of Astrid. I love you, and I hope you come on the show. And when Astrid cuts this clip up of my apology to Glenn Powell, then I hope you will entertain the idea of coming on the commercial break long into your career when you're on the way down, because we are,

and it doesn't feel good. And when you're ready, we're here for you, Glenn. We're here for you. And when you're ready, we're here for you, Gwen. We're here for you. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back

to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Gray, and this is the dance to my hair. It's Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best of you, Kristen. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on what seems like never-ending episodes of the commercial break. At least we're always in here doing them.

It seems like that. I hope people are listening. That's all. I hope the people are listening. Are you out there? Who is out there? I think people are out there. I just saw a review earlier today that said,

glad you're done with the sickness. And I hope you are out there. I just saw a review earlier today that said, glad you're done with the sickness. And I hope you guys never stop. And great job with the production team too. Oh, look at that. Shout out to Christina. Shout out to the Christina. The Christina kiss ass train continues. Everyone loving their Christina.

So we made the right choice, not firing her. I had no choice. She's such a great producer. We've had her for so long. How could I? Life without her seemed much more laborious. So I decided to keep her around. Anyway, lots of people writing in about Christina,

saying how much they love her and thank you for the kind words. We certainly do appreciate it. We see them. We see you. We see them, we see you. We see you, I see you. I'm holding space for that. I love doing the look emoji too.

Oh yeah. Like whenever I. Beep beep. Yes, yes I love that. Remember I told you that like for, there was a period, I mean there was the period of my life that's still going on where I'm kind of a hippie if you knew me in real life.

If you didn't know the Brian Greene on the commercial break, this is where I get to be, you know, crotchety old man Brian, but in my real life, I'm kind of a hippie. That's what I am. I'm just kind of a hippie. And so for a long- You've attended a few parties in the woods. I have attended many parties in the woods. I have done my fair share of hallucinogenics. I have done my fair share of therapy. I have worn my fair share of kilts and skirts and feather boas and all kind of shit. And as my ex-wife used to call me, I'm the militant hippie. So, the militant hippie. Yeah, there was one time a guy that I was working with, we had this, when I worked at the restaurant where

I had met my ex-wife, it was a big restaurant, big like steakhouse type restaurant in this beautiful- Alpois? Alpois? Is beautiful... Alpois? Alpois? Is that the Alpois? Who not? Alpois, en neblat. Yes, it was Alpois.

I would say, Opoiv. Would you like some Opois? Opois. And some guy goes, it's Opois. And I was like, oh, don't get fucking fussy with me, dude. Okay? Give me a good tip. Then you call it whatever you want.

I'll call it whatever you want. I'll call it Opois Blom. call it, oh, plod, plod. I don't care. I don't give a shot. And so it was like this huge restaurant and then it had this huge patio. And there was a guy that worked there. He was like a really young guy. He was like 19.

And I probably was, I don't know, 27, 28 at the time. And we were cleaning the outside of the patio, this huge patio. Like the tables and stuff? Yeah, all the tables, sweeping, putting the tablecloths on, you know, all the bullshit, the never-ending bullshit you do when you work at a restaurant that you don't get paid for. Roll and silverware, time to roll.

Oh my God, roll silverware, which took you an extra hour and a roll silverware. You're cut, you're cut. Yeah, you're cut. But go roll. Can I be cut was, I was the can I be cut guy. I was always can I be cut. Can I be cut? Can I be cut?

Go roll. Yeah. And they'd be like, you got, no, you know, it's John's turn to, you got to close up. And I'd be like, and then I go to John and I'd be like, Hey, John, I, I got a leaky penis. Can I, he's like, dude, you had a leaky penis two weeks ago. You got to try anyone. I mean, I mean, my grandpa has a leaky penis. Can I please be cut?

And it was always cause it was lunch and I hated lunch and I didn't want anything to do with it. And I just wanted to go home. And let's be honest about it, it was lunch or dinner. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be in on the action for an hour and out. But then you had to fucking roll silverware. So then I'll pay you 10 bucks to roll silverware.

God, I remember rolling so much silverware. I didn't because I would just pay people to do it for me. I'm like, I'll pay you five bucks to roll my silverware. We do like 50 of them. 50 silvers. Yeah, it took forever. I actually didn't mind what roll in silverware Sometimes I just watch TV. Yeah watching TV or you know, the the cooks would usually slide me some food Yeah, what do they call that? You have to do your do your checklist. Do you do your checklist? You know, you do your check your punch list or whatever or whatever, punch out. Side work. Side work, that's it, side work. Fill ramekins with butter, cut lemons, yes.

Salt and pepper, shakers, ketchup, you know, A1. Marry them. Yes, did you marry your, did you marry your ketchup? I don't know, did I? The fuck, it's a steakhouse. Why are we marrying ketchups anyway? We used to put them in ramekins. Did you, your ketchup ramekins?

No, okay, what are you gonna do? Fire me? Of course you're not, you don't have anyone else to work here. I was such an asshole when it came to side work. I hated side work. I hated work. I still hate work.

Now you just want to breeze in and deliver food and make money. I just thought I was like, I thought I was 007, waiter, bald head, just flying through the extraordinaire. I'll be your waiter tonight. Look how sexy I really am. Meanwhile, my shirt is all stained and wrinkled.

I just float through the restaurant, imagining people were looking at me going, wow, I wish I had that waiter. I'm Brian with a Y. I'm Brian with a Y. And I'll be your waiter tonight. Good afternoon'm Brian with a Y. I'm Brian with a Y. And I'll be your waiter tonight. Good afternoon, Brian with a Y. And I'll be your wait, do you have any daughters or wives of appropriate age?

I always thought that every hot girl at the table was always into me. I was like, I just was like... You flirted. I flirted, of course I did. Of course you did. Of course I did. I didn't care what they looked like, I flirted.

Cause I knew that was a key to a good tip, first of all. And second of all, I just felt I of course I did. Of course you did. Of course I did. I didn't care what they looked like, I flirted, because I knew that was a key to a good tip, first of all. And second of all, I just felt I had that cachet. I felt that I was that guy and never worked. I never once dated anybody that sat on my table. Never. I never even got a phone number. Never happened.

When I was a bartender, that was a different story. Because when I was a bartender, I was a little bit more angry because it was actual work to be done. You couldn't, you didn't, like, as a waiter, you could scoot off for a few seconds and kind of do your own thing, maybe get a smoke break. As a bartender, you had to work. If there are people in the bar, they're going to ask for drinks, you had to work. So I was a little bit more angry as a bartender. And I wasn't really looking for flirting. What I wanted was just to get, you know, get done, like serve drinks, get

drunk, do my thing, get to the tasty teenerener, get to the Tasty Teener part of the night. Anyway, so we're cleaning this big patio outside, like doing side work, you know, pre-work, whatever it is, shift work. And we're doing the shift work. And there was this pigeon, this one pigeon, and this pigeon visited the restaurant every fucking day for like a year. Petey the pigeon or whatever we call them, Petey the pigeon. And people would, you know, he would come up and eat the French fries that got, that fell or the bread or whatever.

He wasn't too bothersome to the people, but no one really liked the fact that there was a pigeon hanging around them. It's very common in Europe to have pigeons like on your head when you're eating. Like, you know, we went to this restaurant in Spain and there were pigeons eating with us. They had silverware.

The waiter poured them a cup of water. It was really weird. It was strange. But here in America, you can just shoo them off or whatever. And so, we shooed Petey off when he got bothersome, but generally, it didn't really hurt anybody. And there weren't too many other pigeons around. I felt like Petey was just one of one. He was a lovely pigeon. And this little kid hated Petey. I mean, he hated the pigeon. He hated it. And so we're doing the shift work and he had the broom and he went and tried to hit Petey with the broom.

And he's like, I'm gonna kill that fucking pigeon. You know, it's such an annoyance. Kill that pigeon. And Chrissy, I got in this kid's face. Like immediately I was in this kid's face. Like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm gonna fucking stab you in half.

And that's what my wife, my future wife goes, you're such a militant hippie. Like you're all about love and peace, but then when somebody tries to do something, you're like in their face. And I go, there are things that will not stand. Peace at all prices, not how I work. Oh, you saved Petey though. So I'm like this kind of like hippie. And there was a time in my life when I would just say the following words to a lot of people because I didn't have good advice for them. Advice is what it's worth. You're not paying anything for it.

Most of your friends have bad advice, but you know, sometimes you accept it and sometimes you... Actually, do you accept anybody's advice? I don't know. Sometimes I do. Sometimes. On occasion. But it's a rare occasion.

And there are just few people who I would trust with their advice. Like I trust you with the advice. Astrid, Raphael, some of my brothers. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like I would trust their advice. But, you know, I just learned that advice is really who fucking cares. When someone's coming to you with a crisis, you don't give them all the answers because you're standing on the outside and you can't possibly understand what they're saying. So, I used to say this, I'm holding space for that. I'm holding space for that. I'm just, I'm holding space for that. And I gave that advice to a friend one time. I gave advice to say no advice, just when you're in the middle of a heated discussion, just say, I'm holding space for that. If you don't disagree with

them, don't start a fight. Just be like, I'm holding space for what you're saying. And I almost caused a divorce at one time because this friend of mine, I gave her this advice, she was having problems with her in-laws. And the mother-in-law was living with them. And she had all the answers for how my friend should parent her child. And it caused constant stress and constant drama. And there was arguments all over the place about this mother-in-law sticking her nose probably where it shouldn't have been. Because no one wants to be told how to parent and everyone parents differently. And when you have kids, or if you have kids, or even if you don't

have kids, you'll understand this. And so I said, just tell her, rather than get in a fight with her, rather than cause all the stress and drama, just say, I'm holding space for what you're saying, right? Say that. But she took it too far. Apparently one time she just- That kinda just means like, I hear you. I hear you. And I'm gonna put it- Yes, I hear you, but I'm not really listening.

Right, I hear you, I'm not gonna do what you say. That's right. But I heard you. It's a fuck you, it's essentially what it is. But it's a very benevolent way to say fuck you, right? It's like, I'm holding space for you. Well, apparently, one time, it got really heated about whether she should tell the kid to clean up the room or whatever

was going on. And for like an hour, all my friend would say was, I'm holding space for that. And her husband, it was a total fucking nude. He got so upset that she wouldn't respond with anything except for, I'm holding space. She turned into a penchant child. She was like, I'm holding space for that. I'm holding space for that. I'm holding space for that. Her husband like walked out the door with the mom and didn't come back for like four

days. Well, that was a win. I agree. I told her, I said, take it. You got us great marriage advice right there. Turn into a penchant child. Never leave, never leave in anger. That's my, that's the next piece of advice I give her, is I said,

well, he's an idiot because you never leave in anger. You shouldn't do that. You don't abandon someone when things get tough. You go to the other room, you tell them you need a break. You, okay, if it's agreed upon, I need a break. I'm going down to take, I'm going out of the river to take a walk or whatever. If it's agreed upon or it's understood, whatever, you don't just like not say anything and walk out the door. It's the worst kind of thing that you can do. It's like hanging up on somebody. It really is, which I do all the time.

You do? No, I'm kidding. I don't do that. I did hang up on my mom a couple of weeks ago though. My mom is like, we're going to have her back on the show, but she's still in this like period. I guess you're about to tell the story, but is it because you were angry or was it because you just, it was the talking going on that you had to go? No. Well, first of all, my mom doesn't know how to let people go. Like she gets a great example. Yesterday, it's been, my mom will call, oh my God, look at that. Your mom is calling right now.

My mom is literally calling us right now. Okay, I'm not gonna answer, but because I don't have it hooked up to the machine, but. We do need to have her back on. We are gonna have her back on, but she's in the process of moving, and when she settles, we'll figure that out. So, she calls yesterday, and it's chaos.

Like, I told you this, the hours between five and seven in this house are absolutely insanity. It's the crazy hours. And the closer it gets to bedtime, the crazier it gets. Everybody's talking at you at one time. You're trying to pay attention so you can give everybody a little bit of your time. It's insane. She calls incessantly until I answer. And here's, okay, ready? Hey, mom. Hi, Brian. What you doing? Is that? I'm not going to say my kids' names, but let's just use pretend names. Is that John in the background?

No, mom. Everyone's kind of crazy. Is that Laura? No, mom. It's everybody. They're all like yelling at me. Hi, Laura. It's your grandma, Kiki. Mom, mom, mom, they can't's everybody. They're all like yelling at me and saying, Hi Laura, it's your grandma Kiki. Mom, Mom, Mom, they can't hear you. It's not on speakerphone. Hi John, I got you a great little treat when you come to see me next time. Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom some really good news. What's that, Mom? I managed to find Real Housewives of New Jersey. Okay, like in real life? Or are you having hallucination? What's going on? No, on the TV I managed to find episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Okay, Mom, that's great. Like, that's fantastic. I'm so glad that you found something that you like. Can I please call you back? Oh, of course. I know you're very busy, but one more thing, one more thing, one more thing. How is the show going? Okay, mom, I don't have time to tell you about all the show. The show's going great. Chrissy's fine. Everything's great. We're doing really good. Making money. Everything's going, everything's going. That's great. That's great. Okay. Okay. One more thing before you leave, before you leave. Is Astrid mad at me because I texted her seven times and she hasn't responded to me? Mom, I don't know. Ask Astrid. Oh, okay. Okay. You know what your brother said to me the other day? Mom, I gotta go. I gotta go. Please, mom. I gotta go. Okay. Well, it was just, I was remembering

grandma and it made me very sad. I wanted to go. Okay, mom, I gotta go. It never ends. It never ends. And I get it. You're lonely. You want to talk to your kids. Of course, I'd want to talk to my kids. I want to talk to my kids too. Of course, they want to talk to me now, but 10 years from now, let's see how much they really want to talk to me. Right.

But it's like, I got to go. I got to go, mommy. I think some people in my life, and I love them to death and with the best of intentions, this is not because they're not like well-meaning, it's because they don't have the perspective that I do. That when you have so many children and so many things going on, like a lot of us do, it is not really easy to find a half an hour to have a leisurely conversation. No, it's not. You should have seen me this morning. I'm on a business phone call and I am walking from room

to room, closing the door behind me to get a little bit of peace and quiet because the kids are following me around. And Astrid is opening the door behind me, I gotta get something in here. So, I move to the next room, close the door. I gotta get something in here. I move to the next room and I close the door. Every time I open the door, someone's screaming at me, the dog's barking. It's like, you just can't get like a minute alone. So, do I have time to answer, to listen about the Real Housewives of Jersey? I do not, but I'm really glad you found it, but I do not. Now, can you please-

You were holding space for that. I was holding space for that. Thank you, Chrissy. Thank you. So, but- It doesn't even have to be somebody that's lonely because we know someone, Jeff and I know somebody that also is an incessant talker

where you're trying to get off the phone. Yeah. And they're just like, yeah, but anyway, and at this point he just doesn't're trying to get off the phone. And they're just like, yeah, but anyway, and at this point, he just doesn't even acknowledge that you're trying to get off the phone. He's like, uh-huh, but anyway, so what about this? Let me tell you about this. Isn't it like, it's the worst.

It's the worst. So back to the hang up thing, like two or three, four weeks ago, whatever it is, and my mom and I almost never argue. I mean, we get into little disagreements and we have our moments, like everybody does. But I love my mom and she loves me. And, you know, it's a mother-son relationship. There's times when things are great and times when things are a little more stressful. I'm at the grocery store and my mom starts texting me, what did you do with the prescription to my glasses? What? I'm like, so I respond back, I'm like, what? And she goes, I need the prescription

to my glasses. And I'm like, I don't have the prescription. Why would I have the prescription to your, under what circumstances would I have the prescription to your glasses? And so then I pick up the phone and I call her. I'm walking around the grocery store. Hey, mom, what are you talking about? I need the prescription to my glasses. Okay, well, I have nothing to do with your eyes or your glasses and I don't know where your prescriptions are. What do I look like? A pharmacy? Like, I don't have the prescription to your glasses. And she's like, Brian, you told me you had the prescription to my glasses.

Why would I say that, mom? Why would I be? Why in the world would I have the prescription to your glasses? And this goes on and on until she's getting really indignant about it. She's like, fine, just pretend like you don't have the prescription to my glasses. And I'm like, just pretend. I'm not pretending. I don't know where your prescription. Mom, do you know pretend like you don't have the prescription to my glasses. And I'm like, just pretend. I'm not pretending. I don't know where your prescription.

Mom, do you know how many fucking children I have? I don't even have the prescription to their glasses or my glasses. How am I going to have the prescription to your glasses? And she just goes on and on and on. And I was just like, you know what? Click, hang up. I got to check out of the grocery store. I'm not interested in figuring out who has the prescription to your glasses.

I'm on fire today. I got riled up when I think about it. So like, I give it a day, I let it breathe. And you know, she texts me like a couple hours later, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. Like, I just wanted to know where my prescription to my glasses are. To which then she says at the bottom of the text message, do you know where my prescription is? Do you know where it is by the way? of my glasses are, to which then she says at the bottom of the text message, do you know where my- Do you know where it is by the way? I got the fuck idea.

Call the eye doctor. I know. That's what I said. So a couple days pass, a day passes, and I pick up the phone and I say, hey, mom, I'm really sorry. By the way, I don't hang up on people. It's not like a habit that I have. It was just, I couldn't take it at that moment.

I'm trying to get- Juggle a bunch of things. Trying to get milk for the kids and KY jelly and all this other stuff. Cream. Yeah, cream. I got cream. Creams for my stomach and creams for my skin and eye cream and now I'm into creams. And milk cream.

And cream for my cereal. I've got all kinds of creams. And cream for my dick, my dick cream. I gotta get everything. Cream for my ass pain. I got cream for my ass pain. There is a cream for my dick, my dick cream, I got to get everything. Cream for my ass pain. I got cream for my ass pain. There is a cream for everything. There is a cream for everything. So I say, hey, Mom, listen, I'm really sorry that I hung

up on you. And she, I know, it's okay. I know, I know, I got mad. I just, you know, I'm sorry, I just thought you had my prescription in my glasses. Do you know where it is by the way? I'm like, oh my God, Mom, you never let it fucking go. I was like, Mom, you got to understand, I don't have the prescription to your glasses. You've known me better, you know me more than anybody else has ever known me, because I've been with you since day one. Can you answer the following question? Would Brian be the guy who knows where anything is? Anything. I literally had someone chasing me out of the Starbucks today. One of the people that works there. So nice.

They're chasing me out of there because in my, you know, Brian floats in and, you know, it's cheers all of a sudden. Breezes in. Brian, I breeze in and tell everybody hello. And how's your day? How's your wife? How's your kid? How's the house coming?

You know, did you pass that class? Did you do that test? Oh, I love you. Great. Fantastic. Love you. You know, smile on my face. Pew, pew, pew, pew. Men love you. Women love you. Men want to love you, you know, smile on my face, phew phew phew phew phew.

Men love you, women love you, men want to be you, Ryan Green. Pee pee pee, pee pee pee, I'm shooting my charm gun at you, pee pee pee pee pee pee pee. I walk in, I walk out, I leave my wallet on the counter. Someone's running out of there, they're like, hey, you might want this, and I'm like, thanks. Thanks, I owe you. Ding. I wink at them. Ding. As I float off into the distance.

Oh, crazy. Did you walk there? I did. Okay. You haven't had any more close calls, have you? No, I didn't. Actually, you know, I took that same route today. It's the first time since I got hit by a car.

Is it route or root? Route, root. I don't know. What is it? Is it route, root? Route, root. I don't know. What is it? Is it route, root? I think you can say both ways, don't you? You can.

Okay. But I mean, there's the song, Root 66. Root 66 and then- Get your kicks. Get your kicks on Root 66. Different podcast. I have a friend who was a podcast, but I probably would be pertinent to Root 66. I'll tell you more about that later.

But yeah, normally I'd say route. Yeah, so I took that same route route route route route route. I took the same route or router and I really paid attention this time. I was like okay anybody coming out of the gas station anyone out of this? Yeah, you're on high alert. I had a little PTSD actually when I was crossing the street. I was like shit man I should have called fucking, you know, Morgan and Morgan. I should have called Morgan and Morgan. But I didn't. Anytime Brian has a chance to make money, he finds a way not to.

No, you buy high, sell low. That's right, that's the Brian Greene method of real estate bankruptcy. The tried and true. The tried and true method to being a success. And anything that you do, work hard, get paid less. That's where you go. Work harder, paid lesser.

All right, let's take a break and then we'll come back. I promise. What's up, haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that, I mean, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast, unless you want to fight me, in which

case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast.com. Bye. Hey, I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. Maybe you know us from our daily YouTube show,

Good Mythical Morning. But this is a little trailer for our podcast Ear Biscuits where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. And nothing is off limits. We talk about our sex lives, our mental health journeys, but we try to never take ourselves too seriously. So we invite you to not do the same, or to do the same. We invite you to listen.

Follow and listen to Ear Biscuits. Now for free on the Odyssey app and everywhere you get your podcasts. A lot of pushback about my Twisters rant the other day. Oh yeah, and it just looked like blockbuster numbers at the box office. I know, leave it to Brian to be wrong. I mean, I'm right about some things,

but I'm wrong about most things. You know, it's just a story of my life. But, you know, last Friday, I went on this big rant about how I didn't think we needed another Twister movie. It was just my personal opinion, and it was forceful, and I did a whole bit on it. And I don't care what you think, I still think the same thing. I think there are some movies that just don't need a part two.

I think there are some movies that we can just, like, leave alone. Okay, it had its moment and go away. But my wife was one of the people who pushed back on us. But my wife was one of the people who pushed back on us. Our booking agency was one of the people who pushed back on us. And I'll call with them this morning. And they're like, listen, funny take, but you know, we're trying to get some of those people

to come on the show. So maybe that's not the best thing. I'm like, listen, Glenn Powell's never coming on the show. Glenn Powell is never coming on the commercial break And let me explain to you why Glenn Powell is the it boy. He it's is white boy summer with Glenn Powell He is the it boy. He's gonna be named People magazine sexiest person alive. He's gonna be named times person, you know Happy actor of the year, whatever the fuck that he's going going, he is a PR zirgonaut right now. And someone was explaining to me, someone inside the business was explaining to me, he's not gettable. It's really difficult to get him anywhere. Like you can't book the guy

anywhere. He's not doing a ton of press like some other people might be. He's just doing time. He's doing time. Yeah, he's posing shirtless for time. And people. And people, and maybe Jimmy Kimmel. But he's certain. Oh, and Blue. And Blue, yeah, Blue got excited about Glenn Powell too.

Everyone's excited. I said, here's the reason why Glenn Powell's never gonna come, at least not now. He's not gonna come on the commercial break or even entertain the idea of coming on anything like the commercial break. And the reason is, is because when you're that hot, when you're that famous, it's like a Taylor Swift, right?

When you're that hot and you're that famous, you have a gravity of your own and you are not going to fuck it up by being on some shit house show, you know, number 17 on the comedy podcast charts. It's just not going to happen. You don't need it. And there's only downside. That's it. There's downside. Brian's going to say something stupid and make the whole situation worse. Everyone's going to have eyes. It's good for us because everyone will have eyes on Glenn Powell on our show, but it's bad for him because everybody will have eyes on Glenn Powell on the

commercial break. But I'm not knocking Glenn Powell. That's not the knock. The knock is not the people who made the movie. They made the movie, I'm sure, with all intention of it being fantastic and really hoping they put the best product out there. What I'm saying is, couldn't we have spent that $158 million that we made on like three really good, like, noir films or like independent indie films or something like that? Yes. I like that idea. More to follow on this, but we had Gina Gershon came in and we had such a lovely time with Gina. She's amazing. She's like a super, I mean, Gina's awesome. If you don't know Gina Gershon, you know Gina Gershon, just Google her. You'll know exactly who she is. But we had her in and, you know, she was explaining explaining that sometimes you do the movies because that's

what's handed to you. That's what you need to do. You have to do that movie to make a paycheck. You have to do that movie to stay creative. You have to do that movie to get engaged. And you probably never do a film that you dislike the script 100%, but you're going to do a movie. Sometimes it's not just about the creativity.

It's about other factors in life. And of course you understand that, you're a working actor. So I'm not knocking Glenn Powell. And I want to say to Daisy Edgar Jones and Glenn Powell and all the people who are in Twisters, I love you and you're welcome to come on the show. I'm saying this, I have to say this because of Astrid. I love you and I hope you come on the show. And when Astrid cuts this clip up of my apology to Glenn Powell, then I hope you will entertain the idea of coming on the commercial break long into your career when you're on the way down, because we are, and it doesn't feel good, and when you're ready, we're here for you, Glenn. We're here for you.

Well, we are. We will be here for you because we'll be here doing these shows in perpetuity. Perpetu-tuity? I told one of our agencies this morning, I said, if I could, perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. In told one of our agencies this morning, I said, perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. In perpetuity we'll be here. Perpetuity, we'll be here. Perpetuity.

In perpetuity we'll be here. I told one of our agencies, I said, hey, listen, if I'm here at episode number, I'm never leaving the show. If I'm here at episode number 5,000, I'll probably be ready to do 5,001. If we get to episode 5,000, how old do you think we, what would that be like, 10 years from now? No, that's next year. Probably.

At the rate we're going. Probably. It feels like it's next year. Glenn, after you get named, yeah, after you get named, you know, best penis in the world, you come on this show and we'll be happy to talk all about it. You too, Daisy. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. Everybody pushed back. Everyone said, and then Astragoth cuts an Instagram clip about it. I'm like, well, then push it out to the world. Why not? Why not get another 5,000 eyeballs on it after I've already said something really stupid? And then,

of course, I have like, there's people in my orbit who, and people in our orbit, who like got, like they went and they got a sneak peek or preview, you know, in an attempt to get some publicity out there for the movie. Of Twisters? Of Twisters. They get invited and they're like, you know,

best movie ever! Really? I loved everybody, I loved it, it was so incredible, it was so awesome. Yeah, there's a lot of people that are saying that it's quite a good movie. Well, I mean, with all the special effects that they can do now, those types of movies are incredible visually. I mean, they really are. That's a lot of work that goes into them.

I can appreciate some good eye candy. No, I don't think we need it either. Now that we have it, I guess I'll watch it when it comes out on like, you know, whatever, Amazon or Netflix. But yeah, I know I don't disagree with you and apparently they use like real footage of real tornadoes. Which I don't know, I don't know how I feel about that, but okay, because there's probably people who got hurt and damaged and stuff like that. They're in a real... If you've been in a tornado, then you'll know. It's no fucking laughing matter. No, it is, no joke. Remember that one that came through downtown Atlanta? Chrissy, we had a close call in Chicago when I was a child and then another close call in north of Atlanta

when I was in my teens. And then another extraordinarily close call in 2007 when that tornado ripped through downtown Atlanta and I was less than a mile as the crow flies from that. Living really close to that. And then 2013, my brother Patrick and I were at his house, north of Atlanta. And it was just him and I,

and his wife at the time was out doing something. And we were watching something, we were drinking beers and watching something. And then we both got alerts on our phone, thunderstorm warning, you know, heading in your direction or whatever. Okay. All right. Whatever. And then we get another warning, you know, extreme thunderstorm warning or whatever, you know, seek shelter if possible, you know, stay indoors, whatever. And then we got the tornado watch and then we got the tornado watch and then

we got the tornado warning. I remember this. Okay. So now- Yeah, I was calling you. I remember. You were calling me. Yeah. Yes. You were calling me and I was- We were watching the weather report. I mean, was it Glenn Burns?

Yeah. Oh, good old Glenn. Good old Glenn. Glenn, he's like a wax figurine or something. I love Glenn. Well, he's got his assistant now that really kind of steps in and does the heavy work. But Glenn. Yeah, Glenn is trusted. He's like that guy you trust. Okay. If he says it. He's the face.

Yeah. If he's the face, I think they prop him up like Biden. Well, no more, but they did prop him up like Biden. But he looks like he's, you know, it looks like he's a hard 55, but he's probably a hard 79 or something. I think so. He's been, since I was a kid, he's been doing weather. Every city has that guy. Every city has those couple weathermen that are girl or ladies that you're like, oh, wow, I trust them.

In emergency situations, you've turned them on. Yes. So we're sitting there, the warnings come in the warning to him in the warnings come in and then finally we flip on Glen and Glenn's like, you know this tornado coming down this path If you're in this area in three five ten minutes get you know, they have a little zoom into the street They zoom into the street level and then they show you like, you know They have all those complicated models and breakdowns and then Glenn's getting all excited because of the, it's red here and it's green here.

That definitely means there's something going on. You know, and AccuWeather 5044 is telling us that, you know, hail is going directly through the ground. Get out of the way or whatever. They have those crazy complicated models. I don't understand them, but I just try, I just listen for, do I need to get it down somewhere or not? Yeah, get in the bathtub.

And so, I remember smoking cigarettes at the time and Patrick lived in a townhouse. And so, we were up on the second, almost third story was where the balcony was out back of the kitchen. So, Patrick and I go out in the balcony back there to see if we can see something. I don't know what we're looking for, but it's dark. The twister. Yeah, the twister. It's dark. We cannot see much. But you're so high up and on a hill in this neighborhood that you can kind of see the horizon. And so we're out there smoking

cigarettes. We hear the TV on in the other room. We can hear what's going on. Danger, danger, danger. Raa, raa, raa, raa, raa. Raa, raa, raa, raa. You're a fucking moron. Get out. Get out of the way. You know, I always look at those fucking twister videos, like people are videotaping them

right until they get to their front door. And I'm like, what a fucking moron. But then faced with the same thing, I'm standing on a balcony on the third, I'm standing on a wood balcony on the third floor. So we look and we start looking toward the horizon and again, pitch black and now it's cloudy, it's nighttime and cloudy. And we can see as the transformers are popping, and as the transformers pop, you can see the tornado. And Patrick and I, as soon as we could understand what was going on, and this is miles away, but as soon as we could understand exactly what we were looking at, it like took a minute

for us to kind of figure it out, there was no question about it. There was a funnel in the sky coming down on the ground. Patrick, I have never felt more physically vulnerable in my entire life. He had a basement. We went down in the basement. We flipped over a couch. We were, we put a blanket over our heads. It was like we were three years old again and we were making a fort.

We had a flash, one flashlight, and I was literally texting people telling them I love them. I think I was texting you. I was like, I love you if I don't see you again. I know, I know, we were, yes. I was so fucking scared shitless. I mean, absolutely shitless. And it wasn't my first close call with the tornado, but it felt the scariest because I saw it.

I knew what was coming. When the 2007 tornado came around, I actually could see, you could see the sky turning. It was really strange. It was like a weird... Yeah, there's that eerie calm too, kind of like right before. It turns like a weird green color. My dad used to say, he was one of these guys who fashioned himself like a weather and emergency expert. Let me give you an example. We were kids in Chicago. We had a buy, like, I don't know what you call it, a split level house.

And one side of the house was a garage with a room on top of it. It's just a very stock, small house. They had a two car garage and we had a station wagon. I lived in the same type of house and had a station wagon. And had a station wagon? Station wagon where the back fell down? Yeah, the gate came down and you could sit on it. Station wagon where you could sit backwards? Did you have one of those?

Yes. Yes. Okay. All right. Okay. Everybody, if you know, you know. If you know, you know, that's the way to say it. But I'm telling you this time, I'm telling you what's going on. Okay. Station wagon, where the, almost like a truck bed, it comes down, right? And so you could sit on it. So when weather got bad in Chicago,

or it was, you know, there was a bad thunderstorm or whatever, my dad was not the kind of guy who would keep us in the house. He was the kind of guy who would pull the station wagon into the garage, pop open the back bed, we would sit on it, and he would have a police and weather scanner, and he would scan the police for the action.

Or yeah, for the news. And my dad was all about it. Like he wanted, I think he really wanted to be like a storm chaser. He wanted to figure out where the tornado was and get it, right? And so that's the kind of environment I grew up on. And my dad used to say little things like, here's how you know how far a lightning strike is away from you. Right.

One one thousand, two one thousand. Exactly, with the thunder. Here's what to look for when a storm is serious. Low clouds that start to turn dark, then green, right? That means there's ice in the sky or whatever, like hail or whatever it was. So there was like all this combination of things to look for and when you see it, you know it.

You and Patrick totally ignored it. Well, it was you know it. You and Patrick totally ignored it. Well, it was dark outside, but me and Patrick totally ignored any warning whatsoever. I mean, literally the guy on TV is telling you, if you're in Patrick's house, get in the basement. Get down. Yes, he was literally talking to us. He's like, if you're on this street, in this house,

you shouldn't be downstairs. Green brothers. Yes. By the way, the tornado never, it just never manufactured itself near us anyway. But, but it was a really scary couple of minutes and you could hear, they say it sounds like a train. It's true. Cause in the 2007 tornado that came really close to us, like within a mile, you, it did sound like a train. It sounded, the wind started to sound like a train, but the weird was, the weird thing was, right as the warning started coming out, it was a weird green color.

Like the whole neighborhood was green. It was like a, I don't know how to explain it. It's like someone put like a pea green filter on the world and it was dead calm. No birds. That calm is weird. No dogs. It's Eerie. Yeah. Nothing. Nada. It was really, really strange. So anyway, if you're in the tornado area, then, you know, get out. Maybe that's why you didn't, you weren't so keen on another Twisters movie was because you, maybe, you know, you don't have good, you don't have, have lived it. I've lived it. Called it.

I lived it. I called it.. Called it. I lived it. I called it. As soon as the tornado warning came out, I said, there's going to be a tornado. Which actually means there's a tornado on the ground, but I knew it. I could feel it in my gut. I could feel it right in my scrundle sack. As soon as the sky turned pea green and started twisting around itself, I said, that probably is not going to turn out great for somebody. Let me go stand outside with a golf club above my head.

Right, an umbrella. An umbrella. Besides the 2007 one, have you been through? No, that was the closest one that I, well, and that one that you're talking about from 2013 too, but I wasn't up north. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was closer to downtown. Yeah, that was a nasty one. Yeah.

You know, the crazy part is, is that you can drive through, like if you go up some of the major highways in Atlanta where that particular set of tornadoes, there's like four tornadoes that touch down on that particular night. If you drive through some parts of North Atlanta on those major highways, you can see there's like a quarter of a mile swath of trees. You'll see forest, forest, forest, forest, forest, quarter mile swath of trees just gone. It's like, it's empty. They're all turned over.

Still to this day, we're talking about many years later. I mean, there's some growth, but still to this day, you can see where that tornado cut a path. It's a terribly destructive force. And so, if Glenn Powell wants to come on and talk about it, my wife would like that. Are you into Glenn Powell? Uh, sure. Yeah, okay. All right.

I don't dislike him. He's a nice looking guy. Yeah. Yeah, he's a nice looking guy. It's easy to understand why he's easy to look at because I even like him. Even I am turned on by Glenn Paul. I found it funny. I was like, I caught Astrid. I'm going to tell this story. Let me take a break and then I want to tell a story about Astrid and she's going to love it. Trust me, this is going to really go down well for me because she asked me not to go here, but I'm going to go here anyway. Oh, you're doing it.

Yeah. I think she was joking. We'll find out. I'll follow up on that. If we're not in the same studio in the next episode, you'll know whether or not. Let's take a break and then I'll talk about Astrid. We'll be back. Hi. No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait. And now look how happy you are. I know. I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow at the commercial break? Seriously, please, it's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy Begg. So just follow us on Instagram. Again, that's at the commercial break. You can also follow us on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course you know where to go for all things TCB. That is TCB Podcast dot com baby. And of course you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around.

And that's a win. Two one two four three three three TCB. Love you, bye. All right. I know when people love it, I love it when I talk about Astrid on the show. And I know she loves it because. Yeah, she loves it. Okay, here we go.

Ready? Are you sure you want to do this? I'm a little trepidatious, but I think she'll take it in good fun. I love you, honey. Just know that. And I'm committed to you for life. And I wear this ring with pride. And you're the best thing that ever happened to me. Please don't leave me, but we desperately need the money. The listers. So, maybe it's like a week ago, and I come in from the studio, I'm doing some work while Christina takes a vacation. So I come in, or I was planning for Christina to take a vacation, so I was doing some work.

So I come in the bedroom to whatever, get something. And I noticed that Astrid is watching Fifty Shades of Grey, which is one of her favorite series of movies. It's like her guilty pleasure, right? And she'll readily admit this, it's her guilty pleasure. I have seen every 50 Shades of Grey with Astrid in the movie theater because that's the kind of guy I am. Yeah, that's a good guy.

I love my wife and I will do anything for her and if she asks me, I will go. Jonas Brothers, saw it, did it. Taylor Swift, on it, went there. Stupid love movie that's only out for one day because quite frankly, it wouldn't last two in the movie theater. Showed up, bought the tickets, sat front row. Okay? That's the kind of dude I am. I don't care. She loves it, I love it, we're all into it. But we do have a good laugh about it because if you've ever seen Fifty Shades of Grey, yes, Dakota Johnson is stunningly beautiful and super sexy, and that other guy, what's his name,

Ciaran O'Nagy? I don't even know his name, but he's not the world's best actor in this, but he's there, and so is Dakota. They're there, and I think they would even say they're there. They showed up, they did it, it wasn't, they got paid a lot of money, right? Fifty Shades of Grey is a very funny fucking movie if you look at it for what it is. Oh, Chrissy, it is fucking hilarious. Like in one scene, what is the guy's name? Okay, I want to get this right for Astrid, so hold on one second. Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian Grey, okay? So Christian Grey and Anastasia. So, and what's the guy's name? Jamie Dornan plays Christian Grey in this movie. Christian Grey in one

of the movies. I laughed out loud in the movie theater and it was packed. There was not a seat empty in the movie theater. It was Valentine's Day and I was one of only six other men in the movie theater. And I'm sure that I was the only heterosexual man in the entire group. I'm sure of it. I'm positive, which is fine. I don't care. I'm going to go. I was proud to go with my wife. Great. We're having a date night and it's Valentine's Day and we're doing something she loves. But I could not stop giggling because the movie is so incredibly terrible. Well, I guess this takes out Dakota Johnson for the commercial break, huh? Sorry, agency. So, in one part of the movie, let me explain. Have you ever seen the movies? No, I have not.

Let me explain. In one part of the movies, Christian Grey, because he's a billionaire, is taking a helicopter ride. He is piloting the helicopter for some strange reason. Wow, big catch. That's what billionaires do. Yes, he's got to negotiate some life or death deal in the mountains of the Swiss Alps or something. But they live in New York, but he's flying through the Swiss Alps. Have a pilot? No, no, no, no, I am the pilot. No, no, no, no, no, I'm a pilot. I fly everything. I know everything. I know Jiu Jitsu. I'm a black belt. I'm the world's smartest, sexiest, and expensive man. I'll give you anything you want.

The whole premise is just silly. And I know the books are extremely popular, and I understand it's fantasy, and I know a lot of people love them. I've never read them and I'm just sharing my Brian's perspective on this. So, he's piloting this helicopter. No one's heard from him in a while. And then in the movie, there is the fakest, craziest crash of the helicopter you have ever seen. But the next scene is Christian's mother, Christian's mother's friend, Anastasia, other people who love Christian. They're all in this penthouse apartment that he owns. Where is Christian? We just heard about the accident. What has happened? And the elevator dings and he walks through with like a boo-boo on his head, like Trump with a big white, like a big white bandage on his ear.

And he walks through and everyone's like, Christian, we hadn't heard from you, what happened? And he's like, I got a boo boo. It was the dumbest thing I've ever, no explanation, no explanation whatsoever. It's just move on. Helicopter accident, he survived. Well, of course he did. It's just move on. Helicopter accident. He survived. Yeah, well, of course he did. It's the craziest thing. He offers her billions of dollars to be, you know, indentured to her for life, sign a contract, sex contract and all this other stuff.

And guess what? She refuses on principle. Yeah, right. Okay. All right. It's just some of it, but it's fantasy and it's, you know, that's what it is. And I have my own, you know, versions of, you know, if Dakota Johnson walks into my house, I sign a sex contract too. Well, TLC is your guilty pleasure. Yeah, TLC is my guilty pleasure. And that's just as dumb as anything you've seen in the movies. I can't, I'm not throwing stones. But I walk in and Astrid is watching Fifty Shades of Grey for the like 200 time

I've seen it. And so I'm laughing at her. I'm like, Oh my God, Astrid, what are you doing? And she's like, it's my favorite movie. It's like one of those things. You got to, you know, you got to watch it when it comes on. And I'm like, okay, all right, gotcha. And so then for the next like five nights in a row, whenever I go into the room and I'm here in the studio and I go into the room, Astrid's got like the covers over her head, but I can see the phone on the light of her phone. And I'm like, I see that she's reading something, but I'm like trying to get a sneak peek. I'm like, huh, what's this guy doing over there? She's got the covers over her head?

Like kind of buried in the cover, like pillows all around her, like, you know, like cuddled up to a book or whatever. And so, last night I walk in the room and Astrid is again, like, laying on the bed, like, you know, covers, I think she's sleeping, but then I notice like a little peak of light, and I walk over there and I'm like, are you, what kind of smut are you reading over there? But she can't hear me because of course it's a wind tunnel in my house after 7 p.m. So, I'm like, what in the world is going on over there? Asher, what are you doing? And so, she, you know, and I go into the bathroom and she starts texting me, like I'm two feet away and she's texting me.

And she's like, did you ask me what I was reading? And I said, yeah, what kind of smut are you reading is what I asked, what kind of smut are you reading? And she says, I'm reading Fifty Shades of Grey, but this time it's from Christian Grey's perspective. And I was like, waitades of Grey, but this time it's from Christian Grey's perspective. Oh! And I was like, wait, hold on, what? What do you mean from Christian Grey's perspective? And she goes, well, the first one was from Anastasia's perspective, and now this newer version is from

Christian Grey's perspective. And I'm just, you know, I'm loving it. And I'm like, okay, I have ammunition for the rest of my fucking life. First of all, I get it. I am, you look at me. I know you married me and you probably found some value in that at the time. I said I did until I didn't. I said I do until I don't. I know that there's some kind of value there. But I also understand I'm not a billionaire. Not yet. Not yet. I'm not a billionaire. I'm not, you know, I get all the things that I'm not, and I get this fantasy fills all that in for you, and it's a 2D version, but whatever. And, you know, I get all that, but I have ammunition for the rest of my life, because

I'll be goddamned if Asher doesn't walk in half the time, see me watching something stupid and is like, what trash is this? Little people on top of a house, seven little Johnstons, my big fat fabulous life, 400 pounds in walking or whatever the fuck it is that I'm watching. And I'm always defending myself. I'm like, hey, it's just something to be on in the background. I'm watching, you know? And I'm like, I'm always like defending myself. I'm like, hey, it's, you know, it's just something to be on in the background. I'm always minimizing it. This is something, I don't know,

it was on when I got turned on the TV. Well, there are those shows that you watch to have something on in the background where you don't really have to pay attention to it, but you know what's happening. You know what's happening. You keep it up and up. You get it, right?

I do. And this is one of those things. Now, I've just kind of drifted away from the TLC a little bit. Now I'm like watching back to Prestige TV. I'm watching a British show called Brassic right now, which is fucking fantastic if you get a chance to watch it. But anyway, so I just, I thought to myself in the shower, I'm like, I am never ever going to not have ammunition again for Astrid

whenever she asks me what I'm watching. Because I'm going to be like, you literally read the same book twice from two different perspectives in the book. I mean, if there's the silliest thing I've ever heard, it's to put two different perspectives together. Do you see Harry Potter from like, you know, Mordor's perspective? No, of course you don't. Why? Because I don't know, because that's not a thing that things do. They're writing books from different people's perspectives. It's an interesting take on it.

But I know what Asperger is really doing. Little self care, little self care of the moon. Hey, why not? Listen, whatever. Yeah, no, I mean it is. It's kind of an escapism. Do you do your Like, I know this is such like a probably like a... I don't know, Christina would call like a misogynistic thing to say, but like, I do think that women, you get into those like romance novels, like a good book, you dig into it and you cuddle up

and you fantasize in your head. Do you do that? Do you have like romance novels that you read? I've never really been the romance route. Mine's more like mystery and suspense. Oh, mystery and suspense. And also biographies about, you know, all the sex, drugs, rock and roll from the 60s and 70s. Nothing like whacking off to a good Led Zeppelin sex story. And I put the shark right in the pussy. I didn't say I was whacking off. No, I'm kidding.

I'm just joking. That's my reading of choice. That's your reading of choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never gotten into it either. I mean, obviously, I'm not the target market. I do remember, however, I will say this, when I had the unfortunate opportunity to spend a couple of days in the Cobb County

correctional facility, they had like the book cart that came around. But none of it was good. It was all trash. I actually read one good book about like Indian boy who was growing up and like it was an amazing novel. Like it was an amazing novel. I can't remember it. I wish I could remember the name of it.

I'd read it again. But it kept me company for For at least a couple days, it kept me company. But they all, a lot of those books were like trashy romance novels with like the hunky guy on the front and the girl with the one breast almost hanging out. Right, Fabio? Yes, yes, exactly. And we'd all comment to ourselves like, what the fuck? And I guess they didn't want to like, you know, give us stuff that would incite violence. They wanted like stuff that would be more soft and loving. So one time the book, I got finished with the book that I liked and I was like, oh, let me find another book.

But on the cart was only like 10 trashy romance novels. That was it. That was all that was on the cart. Everything else was out. Somebody else was reading it. And so I took one of those trashy romance novels. I could not get 30 pages into that. And I was like, you know, and his member swole with attention, and her

nipples stood up like two flagpoles, and drool came off his, you know, his mangdinas. And his, what was the, I used to say this all the time, his pre-shower started and she took it in her... It's pre-shower. Yeah, and she took it on her tongue, like the gift that it was. His pre-shower. Oh my God. They find the most interesting ways to talk about sex. It was awesome.

They do. Those are funny. You know what I'd like? I'd like to, if the listeners are fans of romance novels and you have any of those passages that you find particularly funny, let me know. I would definitely like to read a couple of those on the show.

If you remember, we did like, like dolphin sex or something. The dragon sex. Oh yeah, the dragon sex. That was hot. Even I was getting turned on. Pizzles. Pizzles and snizzles, baby. Pizzles was getting turned on. Pizzles. Pizzles and snizzles, baby.

Pizzles and snizzles for shizzles. All right, another episode in the books. We're keeping them a little short this week so we can make sure that we keep Chrissy in for the rest of the week, because it's a long week for us. And so I don't want to burn you out. I just don't.

I'm good, I just have a stubborn cough. What's that? I said, I'm good, I just have a stubborn cough. What's that? I said, I'm good. I just have this stubborn cough. I know, but if we keep you talking, like for long periods of time, it's going to make your voice kind of rumble. My gravelly.

I keep glad. Gravelly, like Miley. Yes, your pre-shower. Your gravelly pre-shower. He showed me his swelling member. His lengthy locks. And then he took off in a helicopter His lengthy locks wrapped around my love hole Skin on skin skin on skin. It's all good.

Whatever you're into. I see you, Astrid. Don't you ever make fun of me about TLC again. This is my morning shout across the valley. I'm going to go out and directly apologize to her for anything she might or might not hear on the commercial break over the next couple of days. Yes. Probably a good idea. Self preservation.

That's what that is. All right. TCBpodcast.com. That's what that is. All right. tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go. You find out more information about the show. You can watch all the video, listen to all the audio. It's all right there from one location.

T-C-B-Podcast.com. You can also get your free sticker. Hit the contact us button, drop that menu. I want my free sticker. Send us your address and away it will go. You can also contact us there. You want to leave us a message or say something. You can do that. Please do. We'd love it if you would text us. 212-433-3TCB. 212-433-3TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas are going to come to one of our live shows. We'd love to hear it all.

Let us know. Send us a message, voicemail or text message, and we will respond. I do promise. Or Petey the Pigeon. Or Petey the Pigeon. Do you have a Petey the Pigeon? Have you found Petey the Pigeon? Petey the Pigeon went away, by the way, and I still think that kid killed him. But that's my personal opinion. Add the commercial break on TikTok. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and youtube.com slash commercial break for all of our guests, interviews and selected clips. Okay, Chrissy,

I guess that's all I can do for today. But I love you. I love you best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe until next time. Chrissy and I always say we do say and we always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye! I gotta get some cocaine! That would be great!