The Commercial Break - Desktop Metaverse Is For The Birds!

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

The opening to TCB is a mouthful and Bryan is messing it up lately. So he does a practicing after the show is over. The desktop metaverse is just plain boring and Bryan just found out why. VR porn is being delivered by robots to Vegas hotels. Krissy wonders if most innovations is due to porn? Finally, Sonya Pet Psychic was an early Animal Planet show. It is easy to see why is not a CURRENT AP show. Clips are reviewed. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We got one. Mark, are the allegations true that you're secretly illizard? I'm gonna have to go with no on that. I am not illizard, but keep the high quality comments coming in. Please, this is surely on track to be a great live Q&A if we continue getting stuff at that level of quality. On this episode of the commercial break, I thought about setting up like a TCB shop and then we'd just like play the episodes back to back there's a good chance we'll have as many listeners of the MetaVirt as we do in the real world. Yeah, put that in a little thing.

She'll never try. Exactly. Right after the live shows, right after selling out Carnegie, we'll put ourselves on the renaissance. I feel like if I had to know, I feel like I have a headset, I'd be a cool kid. Right now, I think, I don't know, I feel like something on my avatar that says desktop user. Old white man.

Probably what it says. No one wants to talk to old white men right now Yeah, they said don't talk to me. Oh my man. We had these eggs fared Decades and then all of a sudden they turned into dinosaurs little velociraptors We had a T-Rex running around the back I thought to myself shit. I thought they were fairies. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hi, our cats and kittens, welcome back to another episode of the commercial break. I am Brian Green. This is the director of pizza and Pizzle party's Kristen Joy, hopefully. Best of you, Kristen.

Oh, that's he, Brian. And best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this the commercial break. It's not for everyone, but fact news or fiction is guaranteed in one minute or less for your money back the brand new TCB podcast.

Taccom is where you go to collect your winnings. I did it. Look at that. I accomplished it. I did it. It's like riding a bike. You just got to get back up and do it a few times. Yeah. I was in here last night literally practicing because after last week, I mean, I had to say that beginning like six times in a row because I just couldn't get it right. And poor Chris, he had to suffer through it. Because every time that I don't get it right, then we have to start the music all over again. And the music is like seven and a half minutes. Right, take it from the top.

Because Brian can't say it. And so I was in here practicing last night. Look at that. That's all it takes is a little practice. When you put your little effort into this show, it ends up being a little bit better. Number three worst podcast in Canada. We have. What about that?

I love it. I went on the Metaverse last night, Chrissy. Yeah! What about that? I love it. I went on the Metaverse last night, Chrissy. Oh, you did. I did it. I did it. I jumped right in. I went balls deep into the Metaverse, and I felt extraordinarily uncomfortable. No idea what I was doing or where I was going or why I was there quite frankly. What world did you go into? I don't know. I don't know. I wish I remember which one.

It was like, I can't remember which one, but it was one of the worlds. It's available on desktop, but you don't have to have the AR, the VR headset. You can just go in on desktop and then clonkily move around, like one of those old CD ROMs

used to put in your computer, right? Who was that bathing suit Bob or bath tub Bob or Jekuzi gym or something like that? Do you remember that one? No. Like the very first kind of adult rated PC game. Okay. Yeah, a leisure Larry.

leisure Larry, I think it was a demo for leisure Larry. I wasn't in the demo either for leisure Larry, but I saw pictures of it in PC Mag or whatever my dad had. But so I went on the virtual world. My dad had the PC Mag. The PC Mag. It's a subscription too. I think our dads are very similar.

I think so too. My dad was like an early adopter. Yes, my dad was too. Oh yeah, we had like prodigy, the first, the dial-up-y thing. And yeah. We didn't even have prodigy. My dad literally, I don't know how he did this. I wish I could, maybe I need to talk to him about this before he passes away.

I need to give like an about this before he passes away. He needs to give like an oral history of my dad's early computer use, but he had a computer very early on. The first ones in the neighborhood to get cable. He petitioned the cable company to get cable in the neighborhood. Does everybody would come over to watch, you know, whatever event was on cable, HBO or whatever.

And he had this. Nine and a half weeks. Oh man, nine and a half weeks. That's a whole different thing. We'll get back to that. I'll work in nine and a half weeks. Oh man, nine and a half weeks. That's a whole different thing. We'll get back to that. I'll work in nine and a half weeks. But so what he did, he got one of those phone modems and he used to take the phone off the receiver

for those of you that don't know. There actually used to be a hard, like a phone, an actual phone attached to a wire in your wall that went outside and that's how they connected. He took that phone and he placed it on the modem. Yes. And it used to make this audible noise. Me, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, you know, whatever revenue, I don't know what the fuck he was down, the probably porn, I don't know. Can you imagine how long it would take. But I just remember how this was going on and that was in when I lived in Chicago. So I was less than 11 years

old when this was happening. So this is back in the early early, very early 80s. And I can't imagine how long that would have taken him to download any of that information. Do you remember the first time you tried to download a booby pick? Uh, no. What was the first of booby pick that she tried to download? I wasn't downloading booby picks. But like, you know, video or any of that stuff,

I mean, I was using it for school. Yeah. So it took a long time. I lived with a woman and we shouldn't have been living together. We shouldn't have been dating. We were young and working in the restaurant. That's chillies. And so she had a computer and I met got one of those AOL discs in the mail and I managed

to get us up plugged in on that dial up. And so when they were on their shift, her and her twin sister who I lived with was total nightmare. That's a whole different episode. I would get on AOL. She's not the same one that took you to the Florida right and jumped your bones. I took me to Florida and jumped my bones, right?

He told that whole story at another time. About jumped my bones? Yeah, she worked at the Chili's too. And she kind of a costume. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Different, different girl altogether. Yeah, yeah, no, this was a woman I actually lived with. So I managed to get online. And of course, the first this was a woman I actually lived with. So, I managed to get online,

and of course, the first thing I go searching for is tidpicks, right? That's what I wanted to see is, everybody's talking about the wonderful porn on the internet. It took me days to download one image. I had to stop, I had to pause, I had people came in the house to use the phone, and it was a whole thing.

Eventually, I got to a boob, and I was like, this is way, is not the limit the juice is not worth the squeeze. No, I'm talking about the magazine. Yeah, I did body magazine. I did the same three magazines since I was 18 years old that I would travel around with in this bag. So I get on the metaverse or whatever the fuck it is and I'm just there's no one there and I'm traveling around and you know you bump into people and you try and say hi to them and they say hi and then they leave and they don't talk.

One person said don't talk to me. Like one person said don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. I thought this is a place that's been made. Oh yeah, I thought that was. And that's sexually assaulting you. Right. I just wanted to find out what this is all about.

It's actually looking for directions. I was looking for help in this metaverse. How do you get to something interesting? Because everything here seems to be boring. It's like literally a 2D landscape of a beach in an island. And you're supposed to be on like party island. There's no party. There's no anything.

There's a bunch of weird, air of avatars all standing around. And when you knock into them, you're like, hello. Get away from me. I read a whole article about a girl that did a metaverse date. Oh. So, and that was pretty interesting. Oh, yeah.

But yeah. I'm telling you, this is weird shit going on in the metaverse. Of course. I haven't gotten to that level yet. Of course there is. Yeah, there's like a secret level. You got to buy into it or something. It's like Zelda.

Yeah, I got to get to the right level before it starts getting to interesting. I'd be interested if there's any metaverse experts out there without VR headsets, then I'd love to know how exactly you get to the interesting shit. Like, where is Snoop Dogg having a private concert? You know what I'm saying? Because it's happening somewhere out there. I just don't know where it is.

I thought about setting up like a TCB shop and then we'd just like play the episode's back to back now. There's the good chance while I was many listeners of the Metaverse. Let's do that on our list. Yeah, put that on the metaverse That's what that all is. Yeah, put that in a little bit. She will never try Right after the live shows right after selling out Carnegie will Ourself on the meta-verse So maybe I'll dig into it too dig into it. I'll try and

Yeah, I'll send you a link to the To my out of it. At least I'll talk to you. Yeah, I'm gonna buy a little I'm gonna buy a little space And then I'll start building a hut and I'll send you my address and you can come over and hang out Yeah, we can just like old times in real life What if we built a studio mimic the studio and then we Podcasts in the metaverse and then we can just have two different versions of the show a metaverse version You know we'll sell it as an NFT,

because those things seem to be hot right now. Right. If you're into losing money. If you're into losing money. If you're into losing money. You knew that bubble was gonna burst. I think you know what? You knew that bubble was gonna burst.

I just didn't expect it to come so quickly. It was very fast. Yeah, listen, now I have said this before, I do think the technology underlying the NFT for digital rights management is a huge huge Like I think the world is gonna work that way you're not gonna go buy a movie ticket from a movie You're not gonna buy your movie from Amazon. You're gonna buy your movie directly from the producers It's gonna be managed through the blockchain. That's my opinion same with same with podcasts and music and all this other stuff

But you know selling a penis picture for $75,000 that you drew on your you know MacBook Atari is probably not it's probably not worth yeah there was such a influx of people doing the juice is not worth the squeeze I learned that somebody said that the other day I was saying it about everything I'm like the juice is not worth the squeeze. Just like repeating. They get to apply to a lot of things. Sure. Yeah.

So, but I need to get in the VR version of this is what I really need to do. Like, we need to go full virtual reality with it because I think if you don't have the headset, then you're limited to where you can go and what you can do. I don't know this to be the truth. This is just my brain telling me that because I don't know how to work in the... It's probably definitely in a hands.

In enhancement. Yeah, I wanna be able to walk through the metaphors and when I bump into people, I wanna be able to feel it. I wanna be able to knock into them and then say, I feel like if I had that... I can feel like I have a headset, I'd be a cool kid. Right now, I think, I don't know, if I feel like something on my avatar that says desktop user

Old white man Probably what it says No one wants to talk to old white man right now Don't talk to me. Yeah, they said don't talk to me. Oh, right man. I Can tell you're using a desktop. Yeah, I See you using a desktop. Yeah, I see you using a desktop. Get out of here You creep only pedophiles use desktop only metaverse pedophiles use desktop. I know what you're up to See you creeping Do you know where the playground is? The playgrounds.

I heard there's a Sadie Hawkins dance. I wanted a virtual middle school. My name is Bobby. I'm 12. I'm new in town. Just looking for a fad. Shit, it'll laugh. She's in a laugh. It's probably happened.

Oh my gosh. My avatar is a 12 year old boy. Hi, I'm Babby. It's my first day in the metaverse. I'm new in school. That's so bad. 21 meta street. Oh my god.

I'm here to bust all the kids using my name. I'm here to bust all the kids. I'm here to bust all the kids. I'm here to bust all the kids. I'm here to. That's so bad. 21 metastreet. Oh my God. I'm here to bust all the kids using metadrugs. Hey, you got any of that metablo. You know it's happening. You know it's happening. There's metadrugs out there somewhere. We, I just got to find it. But I feel like if I had the headset I'd be a little cooler.

You know, Vegas is onto this too. They know, they know, they do the experience. Vegas is weird because the big casinos don't wanna acknowledge a lot of the stuff that's going on, but they're passively approving of it. When I'm talking about like legalized prostitution, legalized sex work. You can find adult videos on every Vegas, on the man television, but you can't find

the hardcore stuff. They don't, at least not that I know of, right? So there's a company out there that has decided that they can solve these issues. And they also know that virtual reality porn is really the future of porn. It really is, yeah. This I wanna see, if nothing else just to be, just to see what it's like, to have kind of POV point of view on porn.

I think that to me sounds interesting. Like just a human interest story. Right, sure. At least that's what I'm telling you last time. Yeah. There's a company now that I was reading about that is deploying a army of robots, little tiny robots that have four wheels and they drive around.

And what you do is, I don't know which hotels these are available at yet, but there are some apparently are. You can get on online, you can dial up your favorite, whatever porn movie you wanna watch, virtually in virtual reality. Okay. And then you wait a couple minutes because the robot is gonna literally bring it and dial up your favorite whatever porn movie you wanna watch virtually and virtual reality. Okay.

And then you wait a couple minutes because the robot is gonna literally bring it to your door, knock on the door and drop off a VR headset for you to wear and watch these particular movies. Okay. And then it'll pick it back up from you later. Now, I don't think this solves like a privacy issue because when you see a little robot,

it's like one of those little star wars, you're up to the door. Go into someone's door. Go into someone's door, just ramming into someone's door. Like, hey, Bob, you're poor robots, keeping me up all day. You might wanna answer that door. I get to freaking out.

Wasn't me, wrong address altogether. Wasn't me, I'll take it in and I'll get it straightened down. Right. But I think this is like highly fascinating. First of all, the thought of robots running around the hotels, dropping off VR headsets for creepy white men, who are sick of using their desktop version of the metaverse. But second of all, that you can get this kind of service on demand and that it will be brought to you by a robot.

Why wouldn't it just stay in the hotel room? It's just available. Again, the hotels don't want to tacitly approve of this time. You don't want to, I know it's like, it's not about approving, they don't want to get behind it, they let them put an intended,

they don't want to get behind the hardcore porn industry. Okay. Even though they, they're happy to have the adult conference there, they have the AVN awards there every year. They're happy to put together. They're happy to do anything except for Directly say you know here's a virtue mr. Green you know when you're checking into the hotel room It says you know which is special quick high floor not near the elevator right VR headset for your dick I mean like it's just like a bunch of shit that you should check off.

Sure. It should be a concierge service like anything else. I agree with you. And I admit this is going to take off in hotels around the world. But the mayor, you know, all these huge hotels are now owned by these big hotel companies. They're not longer owned by, you know, Jimmy Tudix or whatever that, you know, it's not run by the mafia anymore. Yeah.

It's not like you can just say, you know, we're getting together with vivid entertainment to give adults additional choices in their masterbatory activities. Right. They can't say that. It's not good to the shareholders. So what they'll say is, we just like a pizza being delivered to the door, we have no choice in what our guests choose to do. So if they choose to enhance their masturbatory moments, it's little robots. That sets the adult.

I just want to be sure these things are cleaned. That's all I care about. You know what I'm saying? That's sprayed, disinfected. Yeah, I'd like to add one additional piece to this whole process. Like when you go on the app and you order your virtual headset, I'd like a video camera wherever central control headset. I'd like a video camera, wherever, you know, central control is.

I'd like a... There's a central control. I'd like a video of my headset being dipped in hot molten lava, taking away all of the... Okay. ...all of the specimen from the last guy who used to... Because I don't know who it is, but my mind starts going a little while.

You know I'm a little osy. You know what you could do too, is just buy your own VR headset and then have it. Charlie, but I don't wanna give Zuckerberg any more of my money. I don't wanna give him one more fucking dollar. I think there's more things than this stuff. No, I think it's Zuckerberg.

I think there's one accessible, I say inexpensive, relatively inexpensive headset, and it's that fucking meta headset, what's it called the Oculus? The Oculus 5 or the Oculus 8 or whatever it is. That's, I don't know that there's a whole bunch of others that are inexpensive, not that I've looked, but there's also you gotta be careful

because they're using the Oculus because that's what accommodates these type of porn movies the best is the Oculus, or at least that's what the CEO said. Okay, I should have checked this because I went to the Picasso thing. Right? It was Picasso. Yeah. Yeah. No, it wasn't Picasso. It was Van Gogh. The Van Gogh experience. Oh, the Van Gogh experience. the world. It was super cool and as part of it at the end they had a virtual reality situation. You sat down on a stool, you got the headset on and you were able to kind of walk around this van go world. Really. It was super cool. Was it interesting? Yeah. And so they put it. It feels real. It's so crazy. Yeah. Yeah. I only did VR one time and it was with that stupid game where you

take the sword and you know the music comes at that comes at you and all these balls and you're slicing them in half. I don't know what it's called right dance dance party or whatever. Okay. I only did it one time but I- Swords and balls and balls and balls. Dance dance party. I don't think that was doing that but okay. From the same people who brought you anal 3000 and VR quality comes dance dance balls and swords Use your sword here comes the balls Dance I was dancing a juggling balls with my swords Well, that's an interesting day, but I'll tell you what it was highly immersive and I really Was having a hard time distinguishing

between what was going on outside my body and what was going on inside my body. Yeah, because you're completely enclosed in, you know. It's weird. Totally forget about what's happening outside. Totally strange. I love it. Yeah, I did too.

Anyway, we're, anything good that's happening in the world is because porn is doing it first. They're usually the pioneers. The internet is around because of porn. If it wasn't paying on the internet because of porn, buying things on the internet because of porn, virtual reality, because of porn, all great innovation happens around sex.

I think that's, No, I agree. All great in the end of it. Light bulbs, light bulbs were invented so that Edison could take a look at his lovers that is true The telephone back he wanted the Netflix and chill so he had to find a way to call somebody It's all if you think about it. It's all predicated using Steve jobs and wasniac We're building a computer because they like to see computations

No, they wanted to figure out how to deliver a tip pick from one end of the universe to the other. Yes. These guys were all horny bastards, and that's how we got from point A to point B. And I applaud it. I say go for it. More sex, more innovation.

Sex work is work. That's right. That's right. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the commercial break. You can go to tcBpodcast.com. If you want to find out more information about Chrissy and I, watch any of the video or listen to any of the audio episodes, you can do that right there at the website TCBpodcast.com.

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from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you for listening to the show. We're gonna hear a word from said sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. Chrissy, I was trolling on the internet. I see you too. As I like to do. As I'm bound to do.

I'm trolling in the metaverse. In the metaverse. Here's what maybe you think of this. I was when I was in the metaverse, they had an, like, some people had animals. They had little doggies. Bigger little dog too. And I thought it'd be very interesting,

but a little bit, a little off-putting, I don't know. I don't know why, I just put dog. So I'll creep you enough that we're all pretending to be something of a dog. But then you got a dog to play along too. And it made me remember that a long time ago to God has been so many episodes now I don't even have any episodes we don't have a stupid show. I don't know So many episodes ago we highlighted a pet psychic

It just it just made me think of the pet psychic and I wanted to go back and I wanted to take a little run at the pet psychic. I really wanted to take a look and see if we could find another pet psychic that was interesting. So who I found was Sonja Fitzpatrick. Apparently one of the early host or hostesses on animal planet. Oh yeah.

And she had a show about her being able to talk to animals. I think I can't remember this. Who is that guy who used to talk to animals? Dr. Do Little? Yeah. She's like the Dr. Do Little of animal planet. Let's take a listen. Just last in the streets next to a road.

Yeah, let's see what happened to him before she found him. And how he got lost. Just having an English accent just learns authority to anything. Anytime someone with an English accent, that's why I'm always watching these stupid shows. Anytime someone with an English accent says something, they're trustworthy. They are. They're reliable sources of information. You don't figure the British are prone to fits of fancy you know them say i agree i don't know uh... to reisa kaputo with her you know self jersey accent i

disbelief anything she says from the moment of mouth is open this lady takes me a while to disbelieve her speaking of what i'm gonna speak to the english people and sex going back to our topic previously there's a show a neckflix called the second how to build a sex room it's a show on Netflix called How to Build a Sex Room. It's fantastic. And it's this English woman that narrates, or is the designer of these and it's so good.

We've been shit this weekend, it was so fun. I have heard of this and I'm gonna get on it to report back to the listeners on my thoughts on that. Remind me, and later on this week, we'll get into the morning show, which I started watching. The morning show. I've watched that. Favorite, Jen Aniston. She looks so good. She looks so good. How's she 70? She looks great. I say 70. She's like my age. She's like, she's in her 50s. She looks so good for 50. Just a, anyway,

let's listen to some. The money and good doctors.. Yeah, but there's definitely some work being done. And like, now that it's in 4K and 3D and whatever, the hell, the Apple TV. But she looks good. She looks great. Yeah. And this is a good show. It is a good show.

Mm-hmm. Thank you. You too. Did you find it? How are you, darling? Hi. Hi. So here we find ourselves with Susan Fitzpatrick,

showing up at what is clearly, Sonia Fitzpatrick, what is clearly a very expensive home. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Like I don't know. I don't know. Do you ever want to talk to your animal in this manner? No. No. His knife's Holly because Holly is a parakeet. I just If it does as if you don't hear enough from this fucking bird That's a bird. That's if it does. That's if you don't hear enough from this fucking bird. She was a girl or a boy. But then nobody knows.

You get so many people that have birds. And then they don't even know what they are. And then... So many people that have birds. Refuse to stick the pinky in the little asshole to figure out what... Then it has a little bird penis in her. And then it's crying against humanity. He's these guys.

She wants meat, Holly. What's that, he said? What's that? It's a little tiny dog. Is it a cat? No, it's not a cat, Holly. It's a little dog. Is she talking to the...

Is it the parrot? Like the parrot's asking questions? It's a cowering thing. With the bird. Is that a cat? asking questions with the bird Is that a cat? No, that's not a cat. Is that a dolphin? Is that one of those bird eating dolphins? I keep reading them out in the newspaper. I think I know it's a cat the dog. It's so stupid. That's crazy. He's pretty.

He says he's pretty. Oh, we love to add Helen because we're in here. Oh no. Listen, Sonia. It's me, Petey the parakeet. Tell me a favor. It's been a long time since I've gotten any action. I'm stuck here in this cage.

And this crazy woman thinks it's okay to just open up the blinds and everything's gonna be fine I want some action. Is that a dog or a cat or a dolphin? It's pretty hot. That's really pretty That's not what I said. I said she's a fucking smoke show telling that Loves it because we're in yeah. Well, he used to have He had a friend and then we didn't know who was who, boy, a girl and uh, he still started to have a grieving. They had eggs and then for years the eggs never hatched and then one day my daughter's years they came the egg hatched and they had a baby.

What? What? That's not the way it were. Hey girls, me girl. That's not the way science works. That's what it's you to do. You actually can't have a baby stuck in indefinite us most whatever you call it. I just thought I'd call you over literally. For years. Sounds like a real dumb dumb right now, lady.

We had these eggs for years. We had these eggs for decades. And then all of a sudden they turned into dinosaurs, little Velociraptors. We had a T-Rex running around the back. I thought to myself, shit, I thought they were parakeets. I thought it was a female. Oh, I guess the men do the boys lay the eggs in the parakeet world because she said he had the eggs. He laid the eggs.

I don't know. I don't know if I care for like you. Wow. And then, then that little family lived for probably 10 years and then one day the baby died and the mama died. Yeah, he's still grieving from it. And he wants to know when you're getting him another person. That is wild, that is wild story. I can't.

And just one day. I thought the most interesting thing about this video was What's her name? Sonya the bird whisper yeah, and no the the moms are the ones with the eggs I've seen enough planet earth. Okay, and they can't just like have eggs and then years later they had That's not a thing. No, not I mean the bird you had bird you had eggs up on your your door. I had eggs They had they had to but maybe that's because the snake was coming after Yeah, that's strange His mate. Oh look. I think he likes the

He loves it because we're so happy we're here. He gets very lonely, he said. He even writes. He gets very lonely, he said. He said, he's just once a companion. He says, he does not like looking at your face daily. He's about to take a walk every once in a while. He wonders why you treat that dog better than you treat him.

I'm just asking for him. We got a T face for him right here, see? Yeah, so they have a TV, he's a TV and movies. And when we, when his little family was alive, they would all sit up on that little note and they watched, they get really excited. So we tried to. His little family was so.

Oh, thank God. Before the great bird murder of 1998, everything was swimming. We'd sit around eat popcorn. They would watch Michael Bay transformer movies. Everybody was happy. We would literally netfix it, but then the birdlings that hatched after 10 years of sitting in an egg, they just fell over one day dead. Maybe they were never alive. Maybe they were. Maybe they saw how the egg cracked open. Cracked open. There was like a bird. I don't want to get

into all the, yeah, I want to get into all the details. I don't want to scare away the children. I always get weirded out by people who put TVs like we there's this pet place pet, you know, palace or whatever it's called that we used to take the dogs to. And for $25 you get them a run, which is just basically a box where they not a box, but a like a cornered-off area. Yes, they can run. Whatever, 10 by 10, and they can run, and then they get let out, and they have play time with other dogs. Yeah.

But for $175,000 a night, you can get them. They have a bed, and they get a ice cream tree at the end of the night. Yeah, that's a whole little hotel. Each room, it's a room. Each room has a fucking TV, and it's playing 24 hours a day. I don't understand. I've never once seen my dog watch TV.

I know there are cats that watch TV, but they're just tripping balls. Yeah, my mom used to turn on the animal planet when she would leave the tracks. Goose. I can understand the noise. Make the human feel better. Makes the human feel better.

That's it. My grandma used to leave the radio on. Yeah. Every time she would leave the house. And she said that's because if anyone ever tried to break into the house, they'd think somebody was home. Yeah. I think it made her feel better. Exactly. Like Madagascar and Lion King. He knows what's going on, Helen. He knows what he's very important. He's telling me. Helen, Helen, Helen, he knows exactly what's going on, Helen? He knows what he's very important, he's telling me. Helen, Helen, Helen, he knows exactly what's going on. He knows he's being filmed for animal planning.

He wants to know if we're gonna sign a waiver or a collaboration agreement. Helen, Helen, it looks no different when they first walked in there. Yeah, it's no coincidence. And of course, you have a great way with animals, Helen. But he really would like to mate, and he would like more people coming in to visit him. He would really like to mate.

I told you. You did. You were on it. You were on it. You were on it. You were on it. You were on it. You were on it.

You were on it. You were on it. You were on it. You were on it. You were on it. You were on it. You were on it. You were on it. You were on gas car on the line. Yeah, I know it. I know it ends And the Lion King everybody dies. We take that miserable movie off

And he likes it when the music's playing He's so spinning so much better. He's just asking How long will it be? Probably not much longer now. You suffer when I'm so dear. How long will it be? Until I get to mate, is that the question? I don't know, Lizzy.

This lady doesn't know either. I know. She's made an entire living. Ripping off rich white lady of their money because they think she's Mrs. Fitz do a little or whatever right she could come in and start talking to the parakeet The reality is No one can talk about to a parakeet like that the parakeet has a human brain. How is that possible? Yeah, you know They crucified Disney for this. They said stop making the animals

Stop humanizing the animals because you know you know, a deer doesn't talk. A deer doesn't have friendships like, you know, humans have friendships, right? But apparently it's okay for Susie Midsdix little here to say anything she wants about the parrot. This poor parrot's just like, get me out of the cage. I know, give me some fresh air. But like, if you're really serious,

that he needs a frant, I'll go to PetSmart today and get him out. Go right now. Oh, yeah, go right to the world. The world's most fantastic breeding place. PetSmart, it'll go get him a $3 fair key that's going to die tomorrow. Oh.

You get something that either looks close to him and his mate. His mate was yellow yes I could go found a yellow cacatille it's excited about that oh he's a cacatille he's preening him he's preening he's he's oh my god he's acting for look he's looking at the camera look he's looking he knows he look! He's looking at the camera! Both eyeballs are wide open! As they have been.

He can see! Little BDD can see! Was he blind before? No? Well, he can see! What a wonderful thing we're witnessing. Yes. Oh Helen, that's making him feel better. Okay, well, I's making him feel better. Okay, well, I'm off to Pet Smart. Okay. We go there all the time anyway.

What do I feel like? What do I feel like this is all well placed product placement? Yeah, well, we're off to Pet Smart, we go there all the time. For $3.99, it's a buy one, get one free on bird seed this week. You know, and while I'm there, I'll get a brand new dog, Leish, for a bonzi here. Did you know that Pets Marner has the world's largest pet, Leish selection? Yeah, that's a good idea.

Oh my god, this is a horrible, horrible show. Yeah. But he likes this room, he likes the quiet. He's asking where's the cat. There was one cat he didn't like. Oh, there was one cat he didn't like at all. That what I said. I'm asking you to free me into the wild. Take me back to Costa Rica where I belong. Yes. You dumb women. Don't go to Pet Smart and put another one of my brothers and a cage like this.

All this all back to Costa Rica. And you said that sometimes when the girls come home, they come and see him. And who sleeps in here? Courtney, he loves that when she's here. Because he said she come to him and she talks to him and he loves that. Close up, shout of of the bird looking proud. Finally, someone to speak on my behalf. I've been saying this all along. Now some crazy lady with too much lipstick comes in the door and all the sun you listen to her.

I thought we were friends. Good bird. Why do I think Mrs. Fitzpatrick found this talent? That's a lonely teenager. You know what I'm saying? She just started having conversations with the animals. Either that was she watched too many Disney movies. She felt like, well, I can do that just as good.

Yeah, or maybe animals liked her, like animals like me too. It's very strange dogs and cats and everybody likes me, but I'm not talking to them. No, at least not allowed. I tend to know what they're saying to me. I just, I don't get it. I don't get it. I know.

And I don't think this is more of like a, even though she calls herself a psychic, she's less of a psychic and more of like a translator interpreter. Yeah, communicator. Yeah, which I think is probably in high demand if you think about it. Yes There's probably a lot of rich white ladies who like to know what their buddhas are saying. Yeah past To him I would like you. He says you look half to him. And he said you talk to him. And he said, he says you talk to him all the time.

And sometimes you make a little song. Yeah. He does. What was that? I had no idea. I didn't do that. What was that? Wow.

Bunk. That was a little feeding. Sometimes you make a little feeding. Sometimes you make a little song. It says you make a lovely little song. That was early animal planet. Go and sorry guys, we're out of limited budget. And he says, Ted, thank you, thank you for being so kind. And sometimes you sit on the bed and talk to him. And he said, I love that.

And he said, he coming to see him. But he said, he really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, Yeah, this is like, I don't know that that's true, but this appears to be a lady that works at the property, maybe a Filipino lady or some Asian descent.

And she takes care of the bird. She takes care of the bird. Yeah. I'd have another mate. And he'd love a baby. And he left it because you put the TV on for him. And don't go out without putting it on. He just told me.

He just told me. He just told me He loved Make sure he tells that goddamn TV What does he think I am? Who likes to sit in a dark room all night? What is this? It's torture

He sent you to talk to him He wants you to go closer He wants to bite you in the face off. He wants to pack your eyeball out for not putting the TV on it. He wants you to go closer. I can still feel his sadness. I buried his wife and the baby. I buried his wife and the baby. I buried his wife and the baby. It's all fucking down as Kuhu. What's going on? I buried his wife and the baby.

Did they have a ceremony? Is there a certificate? Who's got a ring on his finger? What the fuck? Yeah. This is strange. It's like a different level. He's sad.

How could still feel the sadness came over and then when you said it telepathically you were putting out images and that made him sad. So are you saying the same one? The same sad. Could you see his little bird tears? Oh my gosh. His bordering on. This is bordering on foolishness. Yes, it really is. Feel better, I'm going to tell him to... He can feel and sense them around him,

but he doesn't understand why he can't see them. So I'm going to tell him that when we get out of our physical body, we are in energy, and we don't have the physical body. But when he feels and senses his wife and his baby, she's there in a different way way and they're always around you. Did you get that, Peaty? What's told you? It's not a good fucking talking about.

I know what death is. I'm an animal, not a moron. I've seen death in the jungle I saw. That's where people came and wiped us all out. This lady's given a philosophy class. I know. A fairy key. They must stand on.

And you'll be with them. He'd like that, he said. He'd like that. I just feel so much like sadness. But you helped him a lot, darling. He wants me to say thank you to him, and he loves it when you come up. I guess I'm... She keeps making a humming sound. Crazy white lady talking to the animals.

It's time to go back home. You want you to put his name in it, and can you sing? Okay, I'm going to sing a little song. Oh, I can't. It's Julie can sing your beautiful song. What song do I need to sing for you? Here you go. Oh, pressure. You're on camera. No pressure.

Animal Planet's rating space. Clay live and die with this song right here. We've got three more weeks. We're running with a catch. If you don't sing this song well, it's all going down the tube lady he loves it Different he did nothing he can't stare in it this crazy lady. Let's talk and do them. Oh Man, oh Chris. I could do this. I could do this act this could be mine. Yeah

Blue say and he wants that she wants to take another shit on my floor Saying she likes watching me run around like a chicken with my head cut off every time she barks Nico's saying please put me out of my misery man whoever you are Nico's saying if I dead yet I can't tell please tell me That's a pretty voice tune. Oh, thank you. He loves music. Yeah, he does. About he does like music.

Everybody does. Everybody likes music. Yeah. Who doesn't like music? You know those people that say that they don't like music? You know, I'm not a music person. How are you not a music person? Yeah, I don't get it.

It's an everything. And how are you not an animal person? People are not animal people scare me. If you say you're not an animal person, you don't get it. And how are you not an animal person? People are not animal people scare me. If you say you're not an animal person, you scare the shit on it. Alright, it goes on for a while, but you get the point of it. She can talk to animals. I watched this video last night and I was just like, what a cucko fucking bird. Cucko luko. And by the way, this video goes on for two hours. What? It's just like her talking to person after person, animal after animal and all the same shit.

She just puts words in their mouth. She does what she's doing. It's how she feels. It's not how they feel. Exactly. She thinks they feel. Yeah. Now I'm knowing animal expert and I think animals have spirits and I think everything has a spirit. I think there's an energy and all those good groceries. I don't think they think in words like we think, right? I think that's, that just doesn't make any sense. Because if they did, maybe they'd be further along than the evolutionary scale. I think they have another kind of language. Yeah.

I mean, we have English language. But there's all these different types of languages. And I think they speak a different language. That's right. Well, I gotta go out back and tend to my chicken eggs. They've been there for three years. I'm open. That shitty data.

Just keep the faith. Don't keep it the faith. If it happened to Ergen, it happened to me. And it could happen to you too. Go to tcvpodcast.com. That's where you find out more information about Chrissy and I. You'll find all the audio. you'll find all the video,

you'll find a place that you can contact us. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas, drop them right there on the website and Chrissy and I may use them in a future episode. You never know, Chrissy. This place is full of surprises. That's right. Brian actually prepares for the show.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Uh, youtube.com slash the commercial break clips every single day of the week full episodes a couple days after they air and at the commercial break on Instagram if you're so inclined. I know there's a ton of new listeners to the show so thank you for coming on board. Welcome. I know you Canadians are hate listening and that one hate, that one Canadian. One Canadian.

Yeah. We probably have tens of new Canadian listeners. We need to go to Canada. I wish I could go to Canada. Yeah, you can. I don't know that I can get in. You can. Yeah, I had that DUI when I was like 20. So I don't know.

I don't know. I think I can. I think I can too. Yeah. I mean, they let machine gun Kelly and they'll let me in, right? Yeah, exactly. Okay. Alright. Alright, well listen, Chrissy, I think that's all I can. I think I can too. Yeah, I mean did that machine gun Kelly and they'll be right? Okay. Alright. Alright, well listen Chrissy, I think that's all I can do for today. I think so. So I'll say this. I'll say I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. And I'll say best to you out there in the podcast universe. We must bid you a do but before before we do we must say we always say we will say and we do sayI'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby you