The Commercial Break - Dick Is Not Famous!

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

Bryan decides he should read some podcast reviews on the show...for the first time ever. It's a mixed bag and the listeners may be funnier than he is! Bryan and Krissy wonder at what point they would consider themselves famous. They also ponder what they could do with their new found fame and money. Bryan is late too the story about the Sophia Urista. Sophia had to, decided to, or staged, peeing on a concert goer in Florida while performing with her band Brass Against. Finally, Andy Dick is caught in a sad and twisted spiral toward death. Drugs, drinking and debauchery have landed him jail, rehab and now in a YouTuber's kitchen, sleeping on a cot. Bryan and Krissy review the familiar chaos. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wooo! Really? Can you feel the tension in the air right now? I know I can. I can feel all the way down in my plums, getting all swollen with a light blue, huge, fresh and juicy ready for the picking. On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Really love Brian. PS, check out the new Reel Dolls. It's perfect for show material. Thank you, Julia. You need to do that. That's my ex-wife. Maybe it's probably my ex-wife. It's really love Brian.

Yeah. Shouldn't have divorced that guy. Look at him now. He's real now. You know, Jesus turned water into wine, but he pee had to go somewhere you know I'm saying girl Holy water right there as far as I'm concerned What's your name Sophie? I'm looking up on Instagram said you a video girl Save that for me girl. You know what I mean do it. You know my name is called

There's a pee big pee pee pee pee pee This reminds me of some nights I spent after restaurant work, like everyone's just kind of having their separate conversations with themselves, hoping they connect with somebody you know what I'm saying? And it's all mass confusion, and one guy wants to go somewhere and you're like, I'm gonna leave this house, this is my safety zone. I'm in the tree of trust. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. one you'll ever need.

I guarantee it, or your money back, 30-day money back guarantee. And if you bring five of your friends over to the commercial break, I'm gonna cut you a check for $6.16. And then if they bring five of their friends into the, you're gonna get a $1.65 bonus. That's right, it's all about recruitment.

It's all about the recruitment. That's how you make your money. Just show your website, thousands of, I'm making $900 now. That's right, it's all about recruitment. It's all about the recruitment, that's how you make your money. Just show your website. Thousands of dollars. I'm making $900 now. Mailbox money. Mailbox money. But first my wife didn't believe me,

but then I just kept going to the mailbox. Check after check after check. Check, shoot up. I don't know how they do it. You genics. You'd enter genics. Enter genics. Enter genics.

Hi, I'm Frankie B. Welcome to Enter Genics. Yeah. For the next six hours and 25 minutes, I'm gonna try and explain what my business model is. But first, let's talk about hair. Oh, good old Frankie B. Hi everybody. Great feedback about that episode.

Everybody loves Frankie B. How could you not? How could you not? Yeah. There's a couple things I want to get into. about that episode. Everybody loves Frankie B. How could you not? How could you not? Yeah. I there's there's a couple things I want to get into. But first I thought we'd do something that a lot of other shows do, but we have not yet done. Uncharted territory. Uncharted waters here. We have not read the comments that are coming in. So a lot of they're great too. I feel like a lot of shows do this so

that they can like engage the listener. Yeah. Right. But you know, since we haven't had many listeners traditionally, I felt like that wasn't a great idea. We've been building up. We've been building up, up to 16 of you after listening. After two years. So one of our listeners who left a very kind review, let me read the review here. Just this is on Apple, you can go check it out yourself

for proof. Hi guys, I've been listening to you since week six and you are on fire lately. The show is sounding great. Love the new studio, best to you, T-C-B. Love it. Almost perfect says one four star review. Borel, three four F.

Why do you always put a three four bullshit behind your name? Right, I don't know. You can put any name you want. Why don't you just put Brian? I don't know. People are weird. The show is almost a perfect comedy podcast for my particular taste, but check on your facts.

Some of these stories are out of control. It can be bothersome on some more important topics. Brielle, which topic did you indicate was important in your brain that the commercial break best ever covered ever Best to you love this podcast love Chrissy really love Brian PS check out the new real dolls It's perfect for show material. Thank you Julia. I need to do that. That's my ex-wife. Yeah Really love Ryan. Yeah, shouldn't a divorce that guy love Ryan yeah shouldn't have divorced that guy but get him now I could see her mother rolling over and he should not dead but just rolling over yeah Gabriella says I'm a former Hillsong member

forced our review the title is hey girl I'm a former Hey girl. Hey girl. Pastor P, you know what I'm talking about? I got my vocation of V hanging out. I thought I thought I read this review. It's a hey girl. I'm a former Hillsong member here. What up Hillsong member? If you're down to clown. If you're down to clown. Jesus got around. You know what I'm talking about? I'm a former Hillsong member. I actually knew Carl. Oh. Oh.

Yes, you did. I have to say, Brian's a person, the impression of Carl was spot on. Well, thank you, girl. You know what I'm doing? Blowing your kisses. Blowing your kisses over God's skies. See those clouds up there, girl? That's my dick.

It's hard to preach on the empty dick that's my favorite line I have ever said on any of these shows it's hard to preach on an empty dick and she says it's spot on she says the impression of car is spot on really funny love the show too many commercials for my taste, but I do understand you have to make money while you can Yeah, we're trying to get it in while we can we're trying to cram in those millions of all we can We're the 10,000 smoke profitable podcast out there in the world One just says I'm loving it best to you. Love that. That's area.

Here's one for HODLY. This is Luna who I, there's a couple of Luna's that have left. And I maybe that's just a popular name. I, you know, in Apple Podcasts, you can change your review. So if you make a review today, if you don't like to show three days from now, you can just change your review. Apple review. I'm surprised more people have changed. I can't believe they're so so everyone's generally positive, right?

But this says, HODLY heaven. Oh, wow. It says, Chrissy is the star of the show. She shines as Brian keeps yapping. I do like both of you, but Chrissy is much better. Did you write that the other day when I was feeling down in the dumps?

Uh, that was two days before you were down in the dumps. I wrote it anticipating you would be down in the dumps. You were that on scene. Yeah. I knew it was coming. See, Chrissy, they love you. They love you. I just keep putting Chrissy, they love you, they love you, they love you.

Hey, Chrissy, I just thought I'd let you know. You're about to jump off that building. Everybody loves you. Look at the review. A three star review here, not so great. We still have a five out of five rating, though. Uh, three star review here. Not so great. We still have a five out of five rating though. I'm waiting for that drop.

It's got to at some point. I mean, you know, not everybody can love us. I think your show is fun. Let's talk about laughing. Oh, I thought that was it. Let's discuss laughing. I think your show is funny, but all the laughing drives me crazy sometimes. I wish you could do a show where you don't find yourselves so funny.

As we laugh, as we laugh, I read that what and I thought about it and know what it's not that I particularly find myself so funny or that you find yourself so funny. It's we find each other funny. That's right. The conversation and the topic and the ridiculousness of it just makes us laugh. I mean, think about any go to bar, see two friends that are sitting around that are not in a business meeting

or discussing something, go to any bar that's crowded and you see a group of friends. Generally, the noise you hear is laughter because everyone's having a good time. Telling stories. Telling stories, making fun or fun with people or of people or whatever you're into. But that's just the way it is.

And Chrissy and I never intended this to be like, we never intended to have this many listeners. I mean, well, I think we hope, but we never really thought it would happen. Yeah, we never really thought it would happen. So thank you for all of the, and then there's other, there's another one that came on another. I can't remember the name of the platform. I swear to God, I can't. But it said, you guys should consider doing a blog. That way we could hear all the interesting stuff without Brian's voice. No, it's nice.

Thank you. I'll take that. That's a compliment. Then I got to- And then put it up on like Google Translate or something. Yeah, I know. Well, I mean, you know, we used to do transcripts of the show. But then, and I like to do that because we actually do

have friends and family that are deaf. Yes. And so I thought I would translate the show. But now on YouTube, it translates it for us. So like with the couple of people that I know that are deaf that occasionally like to listen to the show. So he's a much more interesting person than actually sitting around listening to a lot of commercial break.

But I just say go to YouTube and there's the closed captions in there now, right? And that comes on almost as soon as the video is published, they do closed captions. That's a nice feature. It is. So then I got an interesting text message over the weekend. Which said, Brian, serious question, do you guys, meaning the two of us, do you guys, do y'all consider yourself famous?

Yeah. That's a nice answer. I said serious answer. No, we don't. And she said, well, let me propose the definition of payment to you, right? In the definition, she brought it from the urban dictionary, she said, and the definition was, you are known for something you did, you do, or you create outside of your own friends and family. She said that to me is the definition of fame.

If that's the case, yes, because I'm sure the authorities are on this point. We're friends. We're friends. So that wouldn't be outside completely, our friends, but. No, I mean, like, are you known for what you'd, like in other words, people outside of our own friends and family, do they know what we do? Oh, I actually got it.

Yes. I'm sure that there's one and two we know because this person in and of themselves was someone I do not know who they are. Yes. Right. So I guess if we're using that definition, yeah, but I mean, come on, let's be real. That's not like we're not famous. And then the other definition was you are known by more people than you could possibly personally

know. Okay. Well, that's maybe. Maybe, maybe. You know what we should do is start a lifestyle brand. I was thinking about it. Like the Kardashians have jelly or whatever. What's a Kardashian? They have jelly.

Okay, or yeah, whatever. I think you can. You know, a cookware line. A cookware line? Yeah, cell phone covers, pop sockets. Help. Garden in lots. Self-help books, which I think would be a we should we should ride and tide floats all boats go

Brian and Chrissy self-help That's right uncle Brian and aunt Chrissy's Ten keys free to buy don't know we've never mentioned no we'd be three pages long. Yeah, it's just like the pen We're like we're gonna work on it today. We got it today. No We put it down immediately that vlog would last for about three that vlog would last for about three days And then we'd be like this boring. What are we doing? Let's go back to clubhouse or fireside? I was I'm getting into the into the tiktok live because there are some weird shit out there and I you know I love weird shit. So I'm getting to Instagram a lot of Tiktok live and I thought oh I put the commercial break

I mean we'd get lambasted obviously people are just gonna make fun of us the whole time right But I thought it would be interesting to do a Tiktok live. We should do it Yeah, we'll get into that maybe we'll think about that But I don't want to promise anything because every time we promise something it just goes away the next day We need to make a list of all the things that we tried and failed at. The only thing that has ever stayed true in this podcast is this podcast. Exactly. Is that we'll show up on your Apple feed or whatever at some point or another.

So are we famous? Yes, but like Andy Dick type famous. Like we, and maybe not even that famous. I mean, you're saying carrot. Carrot top famous. That's how famous we are. Carr even that famous. I mean, in speaking of... You're saying carrot top famous. Carrot top famous. That's how famous we are. Carrot top famous. We are known for the worst possible reasons. Yes, like no one thinks of carrot top in a positive light.

And I actually watched a video, an interview with the guy. And I feel bad for carrot top. Yeah. Because he's kind of a goofy looking guy. He's... It's very muscular. He's huge. Yeah, I don't

think that came on his own. I mean, look at a video of him in 1993 and then look at him in a video in 2013. Yeah, it's a completely different human being. And his face is like skeletor. I mean, he looks like skeletor. He looks scary to me. Yeah. But I watched an interview with, I think it was maybe Rogan, but this is like a maybe a year back or a couple months or whenever it was. And I actually felt bad for caretop, because caretops said, listen, I just did a thing. Like I found comfort in making these interesting contraptions and then showing people and then telling jokes.

And at one point it was awesome. And then at the next point it was, I was the worst person in the world. And people would make fun of me to my face like when I was out in public. And I felt bad for Carrotop a little bit because we could probably suffer the same fate. We're headed down that road. I think I said in the other episode, if we are having our

moment, blazing an orange trail. Yeah, we are on minute number 14, 59 seconds, and 59, whatever the next is, the middle of seconds. We could all, tomorrow we could show up and no one listens to the podcast or someone makes a podcast talking about our podcast. Like how we talk about Frankie B, somebody could turn around to do that to every one of our episodes.

Yeah, that's true. And my feelings would be hurt because I'm just sensitive. That a good shit, go ahead, do it. Yeah, this is gonna make more money for me. That's okay, right. I'm gonna demonetize our video. Hillsong.

By the way, Dillsong, we did that episode on Hillsong, which I'm not referring to is Dillsong. Dillsong did demonetize our video, as I had said that they would. That's a big money-making machine right there. Yes, it is. So two things I wanna say, we'll get back to Andy Dick, because there's a reason why I said his name

and I wanna get back to it. The first thing I wanna show you is I don't know, is a video back to Andy Dick because there's a reason why I said his name and I want to get back to it. The first thing I want to show you is I don't know, is a video that I don't know how I miss this when it happened. I think this happened back November 12th of 2021. Are you ready? I don't know if you're ready to watch this. Okay. I'm not even gonna prep you for this.

I'm showing Chrissy a video of a woman on stage. Oh. The woman's name is Sophia. Oh, you know I watched all this. Oh, you've seen this? You've already seen this? Oh, okay, then I'm not gonna show to you again. She peas on him.

She peas on him. Yeah, and I'm late to the game on this, but Sophia Euresta, what an interesting name to have someone pee on you with Sophia Euresta. Yeah. It's like a former voice contestant who like, apparently wasn't very good. And now she's in a band leasing of a band called brass against,

and which is a rage against the cover, raging the machine cover band with brass instruments. So first, a horrible idea, first of all, like a horrible idea. Got me worse. She was at a rock festival last November, and she said kept telling people that she had to go to the bathroom. And someone from the stage or something, he's got a pass on. So this is what makes me suspect a little bit this might have been like a setup. But he's got a pass on.

And all of a sudden the video starts and he's laying on the ground and she is in the middle of singing a song and she drops trout and she pees on his face. Yeah. On his face. I remember when that came out and everybody was like, what? and she peas on his face. Yeah, on his face. I know it's crazy. I remember when that came out and everybody was like, what? And. Hey girl.

Hey girl. I just keep sending a video over to me. I just want to check that out. You know, you know, Jesus turned water into wine, but had to pee, had to go somewhere. You know what I'm saying, girl? That's holy water right there as far as I'm concerned.

What's your name, Sophie? I'm looking up on Instagram, send you a video girl. Save that for me girl. You know what I mean? Do it. You know my name's Carl. Little P, big P, P, P, P, P. You know, you know that this is the most fame.

This woman will ever get in this, maybe it was a science. Of course it was. I think so, but that's just my very cynical mind. Like I look at everything on the online with a grain of salt. And I've gotten, there's been a few things that I've missed and our viewers and our listeners will be happy to point that out.

Yeah, well, nobody's ever done it before. So, you know, GD Allen, I mean, GD Allen was like, let himself up and throw and shit everywhere. I mean, that guy was a fucking nut. And the reason why I bring this up is because, yes, I did hear this on Howard Stern this morning. So this is why I actually even knew about this video is because he said something.

I can't, I can't believe I missed this being an internet troll that I am. But this is so highly disturbing. I can't, I've never thought that this particular fetish was interesting. There is nothing about it that makes me at all turned on. P-P-P-Poo-Poo, stuff. Yeah, I mean, I'm already grossed out of the fact

that I have to do it as a part of being a human being. I don't want to then bring it into the bedroom and carry it out even longer. But I was thinking about this fame question. And like this poor girl goes on the voice, she's a singer, like kind of an okay singer. She goes on the voice, she didn't do particularly well, right? She's like a contestant on the voice for a period of time and then leaves. And now she's heading up some cover band that does brass instrument covers up right?

How does that even work? Where is she now? And she's still with the band. Okay. But the band then had to put, you know, they put out a statement like, this is not representative of who we are. What do you mean?

How? At what point during the concert did anybody decide that this was a good fucking idea? What in her head triggered her to go, you know what, I really have to pee. So instead of saying to the boys who are the background, right, the guys in the background, instead of saying to the boys,

hey guys, play an instrumental for a second. Yeah, do an instrumental of, you know, the government sucks we're all going to hell or whatever the fucking rage against machine song is doing instrumental, let me go pee real quick and I'll be back. She decides to let loose on some dude's face and the dude is into it. He is laying there, is going in his mouth, he's spitting it out, he just loves it.

He's all about it. This is like a health code violation, isn't it? Like somewhere, the inspector, Jim Morrison did the same, he pulled out his dick or pulled out, put his finger through his pants. They thought it was his dick or pulled out, put his finger through his pants. They thought it was his dick and he went to jail. Like I went to jail. In the same state where this happened.

This is the same state that's banning math books because it says the word, you know, whatever. I don't know about that. Crazy. What the fuck are we doing? Anyway, that's a whole different story. I don't wanna get into that. But we could end up, that, we could end up

that kind of famous. That's what I'm thinking. Famous for just being a fucking morons and everybody else's eyes. Yeah. Powerful on the podcast. Tell us, how are we looking out there? Like what is the interpretation of the,

I mean, there's not a comment, most of them are good, so we don't really know, because you're blowing smoke up our ass, but I said the other day, don't believe anything anybody says about you, whether it's good or bad, because it's just their opinion. But I wonder how we're being perceived as that. Yeah, are we like Sophia Euresta

at the end of her career peeing on people? Or are we like Jerry Seinfeld, season two of Seinfeld? More magic is happening. Magic is happening and no one knows it quite yet, but everyone's kinda going, oh, those guys, yeah. That's a good show. And we're gonna sell it for $3 billion.

3B. 3B. 333B is what we're in. That's the number I want. That's your last, on the back of this, that's your last name, isn't it? Put it on our vision board. Yeah, on the vision board.

I think we need to get a vision board first, you know. You would just put a dollar amount there. And every time it'll go a little bit less, we'll be like, take a 20 million for the show. We'll put Frankie B's car up there for sure. And then we'll put a picture of Sophie up being on somebody. And then we, you know, there's a lot of stuff

we can put on it. I think so. You want to know what rich people buy. Let's write down vision board on our list of things we're not going to do. Yeah, that's another thing. You want, I actually wrote this, ready? I actually put this down there. You want a list of things we're not going to do. Yeah, that's another thing. You want, I actually wrote this, ready? I actually put this down there.

You want a list of crazy things that people are buying, crazy rich people are buying. Okay. Jeff Bezos just spent $400 million on the world's most luxurious yacht. They have to move a bridge to get it out of the ship yard. They have to move a bridge. When you not only buy your own yacht. It's like Europe. Well, that's where all the yachts are built in Europe. That's old over in Europe. They could mess up the bridge. It's probably been there for hundreds

of years. He's going to pay for it to be moved. Or he did pay for it to be moved because he's got to get his yacht out of there. Got to get it. Jeff Bezos doing everything he can for for humanity. Uh, build an elevator for your cars, like a car garage and elevator. Yeah, like the Carvana thing. People are doing this, they're going to go digging down deep. We can get individual ice cubes wrapped for our own safety. How's that for one? 40 of them for $325.

It might make sense in Mexico. Yeah, true. Well, I mean, you don't want the ice cube at all in Mexico. Yeah, I mean, you can bring your own ice cubes. Yeah, even though it's transport, your own individually wrapped ice cube. You'd have your own stuff. That's a cooler. I'd have my TCB symbol on it.

You can just get a yaddy cooler. Those things really do keep things cold. Those things do keep cold forever. They do. People are into, rich people are into seasonal furniture. You just get your house redone for every season. Okay, I mean, you're wardrobe. Yeah.

It's freshening it up. Yeah, I mean, you see my wardrobe change here, commercial break. I wear this t-shirt and another one. I switched it up. I've just gone down to my wardrobe. I'm like, what t-shirt have I not worn? I used to kind of dress up. I used to care and never show.

Just to be comfortable. Welcome to TC. I used to care and never go. Just, who do you think? Let's be comfortable. Welcome to TCB. We don't give a shit either. We're right here. Yeah, we're right here. That's gonna be our new tag like, we don't give a shit either.

We could buy a T-Rex, Tyrannosaurus Rexbone. Who did that? Somebody did that. Somebody did that. Leo to cap. Yeah, I think Leo to cap real about a T-Rex. And that guy was always talking about the environment and good for him

But then he's like you know on the on Jeff buzzer super out zipping around yeah, but I knew young model Oh my god that guy I Mean just one day just one day like to be Leo Capriote, but it's all gonna go downhill at some point maybe not I don't know Jack Nicholson I mean his kind of loss is mine, but Jack Nicholson like you know I'm sure Robert Robert De Niro who's been married for many years easier for men. I'll say that yeah, that's true Yeah, good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good you could go to ISIS and I mean the ISS, not ISIS, the ISS. We can send you directly to the other devices. You can go to Afghanistan.

You're gonna talk about every hour. You can independently find the ISIS for a while. Yeah, that's the reality show where you're going to be. I'm gonna go into the meta versa. And I'm gonna go join meta-icists. I'm kidding. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

You can go to the ISS, the ISS, the International Space Station, which they have just started accepting private people. Yeah, it's kind of in trouble, right? Well, it's always needed funding, right? It's a mix of different countries that are funding into it. Now that this war and Ukraine is going on, Russia's saying they're going to

sever their part of, they're going to sever their part of the flying machine up there. Who knows what the fuck is going on. But in under no circumstances, no matter how much someone pays us for the commercial break, do I ever, ever, ever want to go in space? I am not interested in space. It scares the holy fucking shit out of me. I love space. I don't know if I'm looking at it.

We're right. Yeah. I like looking at pictures from people. I love space. I don't know about it. I love looking at it. We're right. Yeah. I like looking at pictures from people that went to space and then, you know. I'm okay with that. Telescopes. Yeah. Telescopes.

I like being here looking up. I don't want to be up looking down. Yeah, absolutely. Because first of all I'm scared of heights. And that's the ultimate heights, right? If I saw Earth below me, I could get my colon and come directly out of my two-to-hole. I'd be like, ah! First of all, second of all, it costs $55 million per person to spend a week in ISS.

Oh, wow. A week. So there's five people up there right now, I think, that they just took off like last week. They're up there right now. Just have ungodly amounts of money. Why would you ever want to spend that going to sitting in a tube where you can't get out? And if the thing breaks, you can't breathe,

and you're gonna float off eternally into space, you're gonna be like float pass Jupiter at some point. I don't want that. Your body's gonna like, I don't know what happens to your body, but it's gonna be scary. Whatever. I don't know, the technical term is. You can just burst into space.

Yeah, well I think you implode actually. I think of the, whatever. I don't know, the technical term is. Can I just burst into space? Yes, well, I think you implode, actually, I think of this. Yeah, like, you know, like the end of Indiana Jones. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, your eyeballs start to bleed and it just pop out. That's what happens. And why these people wanna go up there and even risk the small, my new chance

that that might happen. Space, in the history of going to space, the small minute chance that that might happen. Space, in the history of going to space, has not been a particularly safe thing to do. Lots of people die. Remember that one shuttle that all the children, when we were all sitting there, and third grade watching that happen?

Oh my God, it was mortifying. Yeah, our teachers were like, I was in second grade, I was in fourth grade I was in hospital I was in I was in I was in fourth grade fourth grade you're in the hospital yeah I had broken my leg it was in hospital for a month you were in hospital for a month and I was in second grade yeah you broke your

like that bad yeah it was like almost up to my hip you're kidding me that was interaction that they had to slowly give her a month pull it down pull it back in place. I know. And I did it jumping on the bed. You did it jumping on the bed, and you jumped off the bed and landed, and it just like smashed.

Yeah, fell off the bed. No, really? That's how my son broke. He's like, well, trampoline, but that's crazy. It's just dangerous. I see my kids bouncing on the bed, and I'm like, it's something is bound to break it's so fun though. Yeah, I'm not going to stop him.

I love a good trampoline. Yeah, I'm not going to stop him. I love a good trampoline. Yeah, I'm not going to stop him. And please, I'm not going to stop those kids from doing anything. I took the curls to the trampoline. What is that sky zone or something? Uh, yeah, sky zone. And I like just went nuts. I was a kid.

Me too. I was jumping and flipping. Me too though, every five minutes. How is a kid in the dust? Yeah. Every five minutes. Tell the bouncing over to that or triple. I had to go get a tram at all.

I'm like, ah! I have never heard so bad as I did the day after Skyzo. It's those five of the moment. I know I go with my Gustavo who's like, you know, this 21 year old tall, fit kid. And he's like, doing double back flips into the foam pit and all the shit. And then I try and go and repeat it. And I just like, I land awkwardly on my shoulder and I'm like, ah, medic, medic,

but like, we don't have a medic, sir. Medic, I'm struggling to get out of the foam pit. I'm like, how do you do this? Is there a ladder? Can you throw a rope? That's true. I'd one time I bounced so high on that thing and I just landed like, like you would in the water

Like you could just go straight down with your feet. Well, I almost I swear to God. I It's got to be 15 feet deep. I went straight down to the bottom and I could not yeah in between the phone Yeah, I just went I missed every phone bug. I just went to the bottom Not only bit. Yeah, I didn't even have my head out. It was all covered and I was like, hello. Don't forget about that. Because you can't get out. Once you're down there, it's like, you know, you're trying to get out of quicksand. People had to come in and help me. They had to get the fat white guy out of the fucking thing. It's like some 15-agers coming in there

to pull me out. Exactly. I'm like, thanks, guys. Did you see that double-Ollie I did? They're like double-Ollie. You fell, sir. You fell. You're bouncing too high. We told you to slow down.

Uh. Double-Ollie. Doesn't that escape word? Yeah. It just reminds me that I watched the documentary about Tony Hawk. I want to see that. You got to watch it. It's really, really, really good.

But what it really shows you is what a fucking idiot he is at 56 years old. And he just break his collarbone? He broke his shattered his leg and his collarbone. They don't think he's going to be able to skate anymore. But this whole thing is at the end, like the last half, just deals with the reality of him being 56 years old, trying to be a professional skater. And he's still one of the best in the business, even at 56. He's like determined to do this until he dies.

And the guy's just broken. I mean, he's still like a broken human being. And I mean, broken, like physically broken. There's likely broken, yeah. But you know, then there's the whole struggle. It's a really interesting story you got. Okay. Okay.

So let's get back to fame. Wait Wait hold on. I have a call coming in Oh, yeah, take that potential spam. We're gonna need that one. I'm so sick of the spam. I'm so sick of it I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick you like to save you 15% of your car? Charms. Hey girls, me Carl. You know your car warranty's almost up. Hey girl, I can consolidate your home loan and your student loan. Hey girl, the IRS is after you. Hey girl, you got a court. You got a court date. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna send the FBI to your door if you don't send me $15. That's the worst one. This was... Attention, and they leave the message.

I'm like, Attention! This is the FBI. You've missed your court date. We're coming in. Please call us back. It's like the FBI. The FBI's gonna call you. Yeah.

I know. I've gotten so many for... I mean, some company was on a spree with me for like two weeks. Yeah. I kind of was nervous, you know. I'm kind of like, well, did I? Yeah, did I? What is the thing? Am I being arrested by the FBI? But then they just wouldn't say like who they were.

Yeah, yeah. Just call back. Of course. But we're gonna take a court. No, please. It's all bullshit's all bullshit people who take it a court Do not call it they send you a piece of paper and usually as a share I miss something. Yeah, usually the You're like is it the commercial break?

Hi, my name. Hi, my name. Hi. Hey. Chrissy agrees. We do not agree. What? What's that? I can make $55,000 running these little care bears

through airport security. Sign me and Chrissy up. Once our first trip. Uh, podcast. Uh, podcast. We'll come in with a band. Yeah, podfest. Super excited about that one Hey commercial breakers back by popular request the commercial break inside of the commercial break Go to tcbpodcast.com you can find out more about Chrissy and I you You can read all the show notes, get all of our sponsors specialized URLs and codes,

and connect with us at the socials and on YouTube, which happens to be at the commercial break on Instagram, and youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's where you can find the video of all the shows and clips every single day of the week. We also put out some content on that YouTube channel that's not available anywhere else, like commercial break in the studio where Chrissy and I pick a timely topic and we opine for 4-5 minutes. You'll love hearing Chrissy and I for an additional 4-5 minutes a week. So go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. From the bottom of our hearts, we appreciate everybody who has been leaving us kind, comments and reviews, especially on Apple. But you don't have to leave it at Apple. Any podcast player will do.

We'll take it. And for those of you who are leaving not so nice comments and reviews, well, we'll take yours too. We know we're not everybody's cup of tea, and every cup of tea needs a lemon. You're it. TCBpodcast.com at the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break and one final note. 661-237-8296.

That's 661, the word best, the number two, y-o-yo. That's where you can leave us a text message or call it and leave us a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you about anything you want to talk about. Now, let's hear a word from our sponsors, and we'll be back after this commercial break. If you've been listening to the commercial break for any period of time, then you've heard Chrissy and I

talk about meditation. It's a practice and routine that I've kept up for about 25 years. And about eight years ago, I was trolling through the App Store trying to find a meditation app for music. And what I found was calm. I'm sure you've heard of this application. It's incredibly popular and there's a great reason why. It helps to induce calm. The app does exactly what it's name describes through guided meditation, through music, through soundscapes, through stories, sleep stories, and otherwise, and many other tools that are updated every single week.

This is an application that at my household we open up at least twice a day, because now my children love this app also. It's got an entire section for kids. It helps them with sleep stories, simple meditations, and soundscapes. And I couldn't be more excited about this when it's time to go to bed. The kids ask for the calm app because they want to hear the sleep stories from some of their favorite characters.

And I use it for the guided meditation, the soundscapes, and sometimes the sleep stories when I'm having trouble getting to bed. This application is an incredible tool in my tool belt when I'm trying to de-stress in these incredibly stressful times. If you don't yet have this app, I want to give a gift to you from the good people at COM. For listeners of the show, COM is offering an exclusive 40% off a COM Premium subscription at COM.com slash commercial. Go to c-a-l-m dot com slash commercial for 40% off

unlimited access to com's entire library. That's com.com slash commercial. Chrissy and I highly recommend this app. This is one of those things that Chrissy and I truly love. So go to com.comcom slash commercial get 40% off the calm premium subscription and thank you so much to calm for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. Okay, so Andy Dick, when I mentioned him earlier, like famous like Andy Dick, Andy Dick, for those of you that don't know, had us had a run in like the mid 90s. Yeah. He was on MTV. I don't know how to had a run in like the mid 90s. Yeah. He was on MTV.

He, I think he appeared once or twice on Saturday Night Live. Maybe, maybe, did he? I think he did. What was he famous for? I can't remember what he was on now. He was on MTV. He was a funny guy. He was a funny guy and he was on.

It's sarcastic. He would be with Tom Green and like, you know, Andy Dick. And then he got on News Radio, which was where Phil Harman. And that was a very, and Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan was on that. Yeah, Joe Rogan was on that show for all every, every episode, I think, or every season he was on that show. So Andy Dick became a bit player in this show called news radio, which was a very popular show at the time.

If you haven't checked it out, maybe you could Joe Rogan's on there. If you want to see Joe Rogan as an actor, then go look at this. It just plays a lug nut. So, Andy Dick then gets off the show and he has like mediocre success being like, he starts to show up on these reality TV shows like celebrity, fit house or whatever it is. But then it becomes clear that Andy Dick has a real fucking problem. Drugs and out. He's a dick. He's a real dick and he has a drug and alcohol problem and it's bad. Right. He's showing up everywhere high and drunk. He's getting kicked out of places.

His friends are going online and the media and saying like Andy's out of control. Like he can't handle it. That's why I don't want us to be famous because I want to show up high and drunk to places and not have people. Yeah, yeah, but see, here's the thing. If you do news radio, people expect you to be straight, if you do the commercial break, it's fine if you show up drunk or high. That's what they're expecting, it's here to be an idiot.

Let me give you a little rundown of Andy's rap sheet here. And this, trust me, there's a conclusion to this story. And this is just a couple of the things Andy has done over the years. 2005, he drops his pants and exposes his genitals at Yuck Yuck's comedy club in Alberta. How about he wants to see that? In 2005, Pamela Anderson, during her comedy roast, he jokes that her plastic surgeon used the premise to repeatedly grab her breasts.

So he was talking about her plastic surgeon and then started to grab her boobs. Anderson's husband at the time, Tommy Lee, upset at Tix. Imagine he was pissed. Yes. So Andy starts yelling, you're all a bunch of N words following an improv set. In 2007, which I've seen this video, he was forcibly removed from Jimmy Kimmel after repeatedly groping and touching Ivanka Trump. Jimmy Kimmel had to call the security guards during the Ivanka Trump interview to actually forcibly remove Andy by his feet.

God, why is anybody inviting him anywhere? No one invites him anywhere. That's the problem. What's happening to him? He just like, he just could have lived off the news radio thing for the rest of his life. He could have gone on to do maybe another show or two. He could have just done the fucking feel good circuit, right?

We're gonna have to see list celebrities do. They go and they, you know, they show up in conventions and they do stand up and they, he might even have a podcast or something like that. That's how a lot of people are, and that's how Joe Rogan got famous, right? Andy Dick was thrown out of the AVN awards, the fucking porn awards for grobing and stalking adult film actresses.

Dick was at a party connected with the Newport Film Festival. He appeared intoxicated, exposed himself, and urinated on a backdrop. He talked about Jews, Howard Stern being a hook-nosed Jew, like totally awful, like horrible stuff. In 2019, he was attacked by a man who knocked him out and punched him in the head. He needed it. Because he was groping him in the genitals, Andy was.

This is just like, this is just some of the stuff that Andy Dick has been into. And by the way, he exposed himself to underage girls one time you got arrested for that Andy has like been on a slow and long slide downhill But over the last four days as we're recording this things have heated up Uh-oh Andy has been Cout surfing on random strangers couches He has been showing up in YouTube like vloggers guys who do YouTube lives where they like keep the YouTube

They're channel open all day long and they just do stupid shit So this guy happy flapper happy clapper whatever his fucking name is do you remember um Napoleon dynamite yes, do you remember the guy who was the karate guy like come on down to you know Yes, like where they go to the karate, you know, yeah, come on down to, you know, he's like, where they go to the karate, you know. Come on down to, what is a karate stuff? And he's got those big workout pants on. He's got a headband. And he's like, this is who happy Hiflapah reminds me of.

He's that kind of personality, and he wears that kind of clothing. So Andy apparently, this guy invites Andy into the house, and he's gonna let him live on a cot, on a cot, a temporary cot in the living room next to his kitchen with a TV in front of him. And Andy has been living there for four days. They're doing a live stream the entire time that this is going on. And people who are watching the live stream start to believe that this guy is holding Andy

without his consent. But Andy's too fucking high or drunk to understand any of this. Do you want to watch like three minutes of this video? Are you actually seeing this? I do have to see it. And hopefully this makes for good audio. I mean, I haven't been turned my mind, but. Hopefully this makes for good audio, but who knows?

But here it is. Andy Dick is at Happy Flappers or whatever the fuck this guy's name is. I don't know who's video this is. I don't know where it came from. So, you know, I'm sorry I'm not giving you credit, but just go to the commercial break. Go to youtube.com slash the commercial break.

And if this is your video, I certainly will give you credit. Just contact me. Okay, here we go. Ready? I mean, so hopefully the audio was good on this. Hey, Andy, we'll check the audio, but I don't know if we should go all the way to strip today. Don't, wait a second.

Hang on a second. Oh yeah. What is the heck in here? I said, oh, I don't think we should go to the strip tonight. We shouldn't have to wear a t-strip tonight. To the strip? They're talking about the L-strip. They're trying to, this, somebody wants to go to the strip. Some other guy is, this is such a mass confusion. This is like alcohol and drug fuel. This reminds me of some nights I spent after restaurant work. Like everyone's just kind of having their separate conversations

with themselves, hoping they connect with somebody, you know what I'm saying? And it's all mask confusion. And one guy wants to go somewhere and you're like, I don't wanna gonna leave this house. This is my safety zone. I'm in the tree of trust. I'm in the tree of trust with the safety birds.

I'm not going anywhere. But Andy, everyone's too fucked up to understand who knows what's going on here, right? I'm assuming. There's a guy standing up, and I think what that guy is doing, he's trying to get Andy out of there. But the guy who's walking around behind the camera who comes front soon, he's not letting Andy go anywhere. And he's got a gun on his hip.

Yes. Is that Andy down there? Yeah, that's Andy. Yes. We go check it out. Is that Andy down there? Yeah, that's Andy down there. You can see it better. Well, if you don't go, then I'm not going. Now go outside here. I just don't feel like going that far right now. Like we don't have our own vehicle right now. It's like, wouldn't be really smart. What is going on here? No one's got a car.

This guy's living in a one bedroom apartment with Andy Dick. There's a live stream. People are like, and by the way, there's a running commentary going on here too, on the side with the comments. And people are like, called Joe Rogan, get it, Wappy, oh yeah, Wappy Flappy, whatever is David.

Wappy Flappy. This could be our fake Chrissy. It's like, is it? Soon the commercial break could just turn into a live stream of us in the studio. You're living out of cotton. In the studio. And I'm like, I crazy, I'll go to the strip.

We got any more than that eight ball left. Ah, ah, ah. Right. Jeff's left me, Aster's left me. Yeah. I'm gonna talk to you. Talk to you loud.

You know, will it in due existence? No. You're gonna strain it off. This one person says, why can't he go to the strip? Yeah. Well, it means that's why everybody's upset. Kappy even hummed on AMD's head

and did not ask to do so. But then he wants to say, what's, if you read the comments, which I took the time to watch this two or three times, the video's like 27 minutes long, we're not ask to do so. But then he wants to say, what if you read the comments, which I took the time to watch this two or three times, the video's like 27 minutes long, we're not watching the whole thing. It's just the beginning that I wanted to watch, to give you an idea of the craziness

that is going on in this house right now. Yeah. Are they raising money? Yeah, they're raising money. Yeah, they're 26 days to go, and they've raised the 1900 of 20,000. With 26 days to go. Yeah, Andy's, he's in a really bad way. He needs to go to like a Rehab program. I know that they exist, but he needs I mean doctor Drew

What's no fuck happened? You brought him into celebrity rehab or whatever for five days and then you let him go Drew get on this or you're too busy running for Congress or whatever you're doing I love that's dr. Oh, whatever Both of them Something bad could happen right here in this fucking living room well for 14 days Nothing bad is happening Not that oh here. Let me see Here let me show you the remote.

Yeah, let me show you the remote. Don't go anywhere, Andy. We need your cocaine connection. Is that an exercise bike? No, right in front of there, that's a microphone. What that is. I don't know, I know it's really hard to see because our studio TV has to be set at this particular setting, but that's a cock. He's on. Yeah, there's a TV right here, right? And then there's this guy

Wappy flappy or whatever the fuck he's doing. That's that's Wappy. Yeah, and he's got a gun on his hip and a Bandana on his head. This guy's character We shouldn't invite Wappy flappy onto the commercial break. You know when I saw that I Don't want you here. You know when I saw it when I saw this video at first, I was like, we, we need to call Andy Dick. Like, how do we get a hold of Andy Dick? Because if we had him on.

I don't know why we need to go through Wappy. Wappy's in security guard. Wappy, flappy. Later, baby. Like tomorrow. I'll wear it. Don't even listen to that. I'm in control and in turn. And we're going to the party.

Oh, I'm not going to the stream, bud. Uh-oh. You know, I don't have much of a say, actually, when I look at him and his gun. This is really disturbing. It's highly disturbing. Yeah. This is like, this... We don't want to be any dick famous. No, we don't want.

So I'm going to answer this. Do we need to change our course? Yeah. Well, at least it's too late for that. I think we're in it. Or now. But in response to your question, are you famous? At Chrissy and I collectively say, probably not.

And we don't want to be. We'd like to keep it just right here where it is. And we don't want to be. We'd like to keep it just right here where it is. And that is why we are turning into another true crime podcast. Starting next episode, it will be the commercial criminal break. Chrissy and I have decided we're going to go the route that is almost universally not going to make us famous. And that is these two morons. Doing a show where you actually have to have facts involved.

Exactly. Never got to have it. No we're not famous. No we don't want to be. Thank you for listening. Thank you. We don't care. That's not what we're not famous. No, we don't want to be Thank you for listening We don't care. It's not what we're in it for right for the money And as soon as that cost and as soon as that comes we're out we're out. See you later Astrid said how much money would you take to she was playing what if she was like what if Spotify came to you tomorrow and said I'll give you two million dollars but we own the RSS we own your

back catalog and you have to keep producing for us for the next whatever okay year and I said no I don't think so I think I think I do it for much less than that wouldn't take that much I said after you know, Chrissy and I split, it's like, you know, we'll walk away with like $30. And she said, well, it's more than we're making now. Right. I'm not sure. Five, five million.

Five million, five, five. That's not how we're going to put that on the Vision Board. Put it on the Vision Board. Five million. I think the show is worth 300x and 300 what we can make in a year That's what's gets the going rate isn't it in this inflated market 500x. Yeah, yeah, it's a blind man. It's flight chain. Hey girl What do you say you bring Carl on the other shoe and pop up those numbers for you We'll get those heels on the fingers inune. We'll pop up those numbers for you. Ha ha ha. We'll get those heels on, put your fingers in there,

we'll do oceans live every couple of days. Ha ha ha. I'll talk about purity, my purity ring. You know my purity ring is? It's my cock ring. It says purity on it. Right. I use it on all the way.

Ha ha ha ha. Just walking with the Lord. Walking with the Lord. Walking with the Lord, our savior. Okay, here's what you need. You're gonna tcbpodcast.com. You can read all the show notes. You can see Chrissy and I.

You can watch all the video, listen to all the audio right from one, though, place. tcbpodcast.com. You can also connect with us on Instagram at the commercial break and on YouTube. Slash the commercial break. If you wanna watch all of of the videos including content, you can't find anywhere else like you,

like commercial break in the studio. That's where Chrissy and I take five minutes and we opine about a topic that we don't normally talk about on the show. Wouldn't you love to hear an extra five minutes of Chrissy and I a week? I'm just, you can't get enough. I can't get enough. I love you.

I love you. Best to you. Best to y'all. I think that's all we can do for today. So until next get it up. I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. I think that's all we can do for today. So until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say. And we must say, Bye!

Bye! I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say you