The Commercial Break - Dinner & Dolby!

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Episode #594: Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! The 90s are calling and they want their terrible dating show back! We are sweaty here in Georgia Coffee! Bryan wants to be a downer Why is Bryan like this? It’s show month, baby! A dating show: Buzz (1996) I hate nags! The Smash Mouth The Tush Push… A guy unaccustomed to choosing between women Everyone’s a former Disney worker Tommy tang’s and a stereo system Dinner and Dolby Red flags! Gettin' twanged at Tang’s 2 years of buzz TCB, Meet me at Tang’s! Come To Our Shows: Dania Beach Improv (Tuesday, Sept. 24th) The Funny Bone Orlando (Wednesday, Sept. 25th) Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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What does possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply maybe even some meat. I need some pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza. Every time I want that pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, I go to David's Pizza. Pizza, pizza, I go to David's Pizza. On this episode of The Commercial Break. Wow, a stereo system complete with a very large set of speakers.

Those things are huge, geez. But that's all the rage back then. And I guess those are stands, you hang them off your wall. I guess that was state of the art back then. What is that? That's a $150 package right there. They call that dinner and Dolby, baby. Dinner and Dolby.

Dinner and Dolby 1.0. I might add. The next episode of the commercial break starts now Chris enjoy only best to you Chris You out there in the podcast universe, thanks for joining us I'm so happy to be here for yet another episode of the commercial break. Can't you tell? Yes I'm so happy to be here for yet another episode of the commercial break. Can't you tell? Me too. Yes. Well, every once in a while, even a little break the fourth wall, as we always do here on the show.

There is no fourth wall here on the show. I don't even want to talk about it. There's no showmanship going on on this show. Oh, no. Yeah. All that goes out the window. Podcast industry, I'll talk about it. Podcast downloads, I'll blow them out of the water.

Podcast shitheads, you're on notice. Brian might allude to you. But every once in a while you feel it, every once in a while maybe you're not feeling it so much. And today I woke up and I just was like, eh, eh, I don't know if I wanna do an episode of The Commercial Break, but then you walk in and I go, oh, okay, I can do an episode

of The Commercial Break. And that's true story, I go, oh, okay, I can do an episode of the commercial break. That's a true story, I guess that's why we're good at this. We do, we push you so hard. Or are we good at this? I'm not sure. We go to show up. We do show up, that's it, we do show up. We're contractually obligated to show up.

They do 225 new episodes every year, isn't that insane? Yeah. I was like, for some reason, I had to review a part of our contract, and I was like, wow, I agreed to had to review a part of our contract and I was like, wow, I agreed to that? Was I sane? Was I drunk?

No, I definitely wasn't drunk. What was I when I agreed to 225? It's a lot. I could have pushed it down to 150. It would have been a much more manageable number. But I mean, once you get going, you just get going and that's what it is and you do what you do. And we shouldn't complain because it's 117,000 degrees outside right now in Atlanta, Georgia.

It was 72 last week. It was pleasant. It was so fucking lovely. There was a crisp air. Oh, yeah. I went out at night. I had to like, I almost thought about putting a jacket on. I was like, Oh, do I have to put a little like a jockey on? Like, I mean, do I need to? There was no spritzing going on. I wasn't schmutzing everywhere. I was just, I felt lovely. We rode to school the first couple of days of school. We rode to school with the windows down. It was so lovely. And then today, 7 15 in the morning, and my poor daughters have already sweat through their shirts. I don't even think they have sweat glands yet and they're already sweating. We're all boiling to death. I Pletka I know. I went on a walk and it was miserable.

Jared Slauson It's fucking miserable. It's fucking miserable, man. And so, we're driving, Astrid and I are driving to an appointment that we have and there's a landscaping crew. On the way there, we see a landscaping crew. It's like, I don't know, let's call it 15 guys in like yellow reflective vests and they're all standing, there's a truck like a full of landscaping material, sod and pine straw and this stuff. And it's in a parking lot on a corner of a street we're taking a ride on and all the guys are standing up against the truck on the shade end of the truck, right? So they're all obviously getting out of the shade. Those landscapers wear long sleeves. I imagine so they don't get bit by something

or get sunburned every day of their life on The way back as we're taking that left at that light all of them are out there working on this hill Working on this landscape all 20 of 15 20 of more working on this hill with long sleeve fucking shirts on it Some of them with those box, you know the bottom clavas on yeah The bottom clava like the whole face thing and I, what the fuck are these guys thinking, man? Jesus Christ have mercy on a stick. It is so fucking hot. So then my genius ass decides to take a walk to Starbucks.

And I'm just like, it's just a puddle everywhere I go. I'm like in the Starbucks, having to clean up after myself. I'm like, oh, sorry for sweating all over your floor. Just so everyone knows too, I took a walk with you to Starbucks this week. You did? It was this week. Yeah, and it's true. The stories are true. Everyone there knows Brian. We walked in immediately. Hi Brian. Hi Brian. What you doing Brian? How are the kids Brian? They made a special drink for him and everything. A little pumpkin. Extra pumpkin foam.

with a little pumpkin- Extra pumpkin foam. Yeah. And they're like, how's your credit score? I see. I see you paid your bills on time. Credit score's gone up two points. Yes, all the rumors are true. Oh my God.

I love those people up there. They are really nice. Yeah, I mean, listen- And that Starbucks is great too. It was- Big and airy and open. Yeah, light. Lots of light.

Yeah, it's not one of those dark, you know, Seattle type coffee. Crowded ones with like stuff everywhere and it's all dark green everywhere, maybe too. And they just usually have like one or two or three windows and those windows, oftentimes they're in strip malls, you know, and they're in like at the end corner end of a building somewhere. And they only have a couple of windows

and then they always have the damn shades down. I like this Starbucks because there's no shades. They're all, the light is, you know, the windows are always open. There's a couple of windows and then they always have the damn shades down I like this Starbucks because the shit there's no shades. They're all the light is you know, the windows are always open There's a ton of windows. It's very nice. You have a patio you can go sit on and listen It's not that I am like Starbucks thirsty. I'm not sucking on the tit of Schultz. I'm not like a total Starbucks head I don't think he's the head of Starbucks anymore. No, he's not but I like this. I like to say that I'm sure he's still the majority shareholder. Yeah, I think I unilever on Starbucks now. Probably. Ben and Jerry's or something. I wish I had a local coffee shop that I thought was as good and I could walk to, but there isn't

one. There's not, because Starbucks opened and took them all out of it. Exactly. No, I know. We've got a couple of local ones in my neighborhood I like it That's the part of town where you get the good local coffee shop good local restaurants and Shops in general up here in the north end of Atlanta. It is literally Franchise city. I mean I'm in a suburb. I'm like every other suburb It's Waffle houses and Macy's and Pet Sweets and Pet Stuff and Pet Smart and it's Walmart and Target. And you know, we have some stores

like in the downtown area of where I live, we have some stores, some mom and pop stores, but they charge an arm and a fucking leg because they can get away with it because it's a cutesy little town that you can walk through. And so, you know, I got to deal with what I got to deal with. I'm Starbucks. Okay, sure. Why not? I tried to make my own cold brew coffee and I'm telling you right now, tastes like shite. I did it for a long time when I had to, when I did not have enough money to buy Starbucks. I did it. I did it every day and it just tasted like shite every fucking morning I woke up. I don't know.

I used to make mine. I even had one in Korean. I even had one in Korean. Yeah, but you made coffee. This is iced coffee. It's a little bit different. There's a delicate touch. Mine has an iced coffee maker.

I know. Well, if I could afford one, why don't you pay for one? Buy me one. It's my birthday. Come buy me one. It is your birthday coming up soon. Exciting. Yeah, let's just drop it. Let's just drop it. I know, you're such a... I know, I'm a yut. So, it's so frustrating for other people, but it is your birthday. What's with all the Yiddish words, Brian?

You turn another year older and all of a sudden you're Yiddish. I've said like 45 Yiddish words in this episode. Yutz, Schvitzing, Schvaatzing, Schultz. I love the Yiddish. I love their language because they ka-vaulting, ka-vaathing, whatever it is. Yeah, you are kind of party pooper, but it is your day. So, if that's what you would like to be, it's a total downer. Chris Yeah. If I want to make everybody else around

me miserable for one day. Lauren Ruffin No one may celebrate. Chris That's right. It'll just add to the other 57 days of every month that I'm miserable. Lauren Ruffin Meanwhile, I like a full month to celebrate mine. Chris Yeah, Chr I like a full month to celebrate mine. Jared Ranere Yeah, Chrissy goes the full month. She does.

Danielle Pletka And, and, you know, so the other day, it was the, you know, August 19th, which is six months before my birthday. February. And I, you know, noted that to Jeff and to everyone. Six months till my birthday today. And Publix, just so you know, thought the same thing. They said happy six months of birthday? They did. They sent me a happy six months until your birthday,

and here's a free bouquet of flowers. Really? And an ice cream. Really? Yes. I'm not kidding. I'll show you the email. Well, that's what you get for paying 20% more than market price every time you walk into a Publix. But I agree with you. I'm with you on Publix. Well, speaking of places to shop, there's no place in my area for grocery shopping.

We have to do Publix. Yeah, you're in a food desert over there. Yeah. But I don't want to get down this rabbit hole, but congratulations on being whatever you are and I have. You're like my kids. Because, you know, we have a new, not a newborn, but a baby, an under three-year-old. And so now we have to refer to her by halves. But I think after, I was telling one of my kids, I was like, after five, I think you stopped saying and a half. You know, you don't say like six and a half. That's not big boy terminology, right? You just say I'm six. You just say I'm seven. And I'm certainly not going to do it in my advanced age. Although maybe I should.

Maybe it's more important when you're older than when you're younger. I'm dead and a half. That's what I am dead and a half. Oh my God, the amount of calls I'm getting and texts that I'm getting. I just don't answer the phone anymore. Don't even get me started. Fuck no, I don't answer the phone. I will not answer the phone unless you are in my family and friends contacts. Forget about it. Fuck you. Sometimes then I won't answer it.

And I will not hesitate to half the people who text me are on mute. I do not want to see your text message until I want to see it. And then I will open it up. That's it. I don't want to ding it. I don't want to buzzing. The only people that are supposed to buzz me are you, my family. That's on my birthday, I'm just turning my fucking phone off. That's what I'm doing. I'm just turning it off. I don't even want to be reminded. And the only reason why, Esther and I had this long convoluted conversation about why are you like this? And I said, well, I was born this way. Why are you like this? I was born this way.

Well, I was born this way. Why are you like this? I was born this way. I said. That could be your new birthday song. That is my birthday song. Baby, I was born this way. I'm an asshole today. I'm an asshole.

Hey, fuck you, baby. I was born this way. I don't know. I'm a asshole, hey, hey. Fuck you, baby, I was born this way. I don't know. I'm a schmutz. I don't know. And so I said to her, I said, listen, I think the reason why is because this is just genealogy. This is pure and simple genetics. My great-grandfather was World War I, my grandfather was World War II, my father was barely Vietnam, but he was Vietnam.

These are just different kind of human beings. They lived through different stuff and they didn't talk and they, you know, they barely acknowledged each other probably in the household. And sex was utilitarian and they slept in different beds. And the truth was that birthdays were not to be celebrated because your parents were mad that they were still paying for you another year of paying for your life. And the kids were, you know, shut up. Well, not that far off an age and I did not grow up like that. So. Well, then you had one of the good ones. But, and it's remarkable because I think our families are very similar, but almost never had birthday parties, almost never. I was lucky if we got a cake and maybe a card and on occasion, on occasion,

and we're talking like 13 and under, a present. I'm going to hit the sad emoji. I know, isn't that sad? Yeah. So, it never was made a big deal of and I had a large family, four kids, and so everybody was just kind of that way. Hey, happy birthday, dude. Yeah, happy birthday to you too, bro. It's not my birthday. Okay, whatever. You know, it's just like, actually, it is your birthday. You're my twin. Yeah, I know. You and your brother share a birthday. Yeah. I mean, that's, it wasn't until I was probably into my late 20s that Kevin and I actually started calling each other on our birthday to say happy birthday. Wow.

I know. And so, we're manufacturing this excitement for something that's just not bred into us. And so it feels like much ado about nothing to me. That's what it feels like. I never was doted upon on my birthday as a kid. That's not to say, oh me, poor me. It's just the way my family was. And so now, why? Why am I going to start now? I mean, it's like- Cause you should be celebrating every day of your life. That's true. At my age, I should probably be celebrating what few of them I have left. There's no time like the present. It's coming up soon in a few days. Just do it. Make the plunge. Go forward and be happy.

I know. Astrid's going to do it. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Astrid is going to pretend like I'm going to enjoy the day and do something special for me. I know she will because that's what she always does. Or maybe this is the year she just decides not to. Maybe this is the year when she goes, I'm just listening to what you said, Brian, just listening to what you said. And this is not like a backwards ploy for attention.

This isn't reverse engineering. No, it's not. You have always been that way with your birthdays. I'm telling you, the one time that I've had a party, an actual party in my life was when Astrid threw me a surprise party a number of years ago. It was a ton of fun. We dressed up as 80s.

Yeah, even though I've really spent most of my life in the 90s, but whatever. Okay, I was also alive in the 80s, but you know, you get what I'm saying. And it was a lot of fun and I did have a great time, but I felt really embarrassed about all the intention being on me. So I'm glad my twin brother was there so he could also get some of that attention too. But there's like people that I went to high school with showed up and I'm like, I didn't even know you liked me in high school, let alone now. We haven't talked in 30 years. What are you doing? Why are you here? But you know, it's my birthday. so there you go. It's my birthday.

Cry if you want to. Cry if I want to. I will. I will cry. I should go to my therapist on my birthday is what I should do. Tell her all about it. If Esther was smart, she'd book me a therapy appointment, a massage appointment, and then just send me to a hotel for the rest of the day by myself.

Not a good hotel, like a Motel 6, something like that. There you go. Enjoy the rest of your miserable, sad sack life at this Motel 6, see you in the morning. Make you realize what you got. I love it. Anyway, it's my birthday. It's hot as fucking shit here in Atlanta. So, God bless America. I hope we get some... It's right around the corner. It is. I saw it supposed to be down to... It's going to happen.

...cut cutting the heat next week. And now as you're listening to this, it's September, so this is the month, this is it, we're going to be live, we're really excited about this, we hope you're attending 24th at the Dania Improv, the 25th at the Orlando Funny Bone, and then possibly more shows to come around the southeast and other places. We of course have to see how these two go. When the promoter initially offered a number of shows, we said, how about a show? What about a show? Right, exactly. Let's just try it. Yeah, let's just try it. Mainly, I didn't want to be in the debt to the promoter. I don't want the

promoter calling me for the rest of my life. Where's my money? You promised me an audience. No, I didn't. You said, you thought I could get an audience. I recorded that phone call. All right. Speaking of, speaking of nothing, this segue does not even work, but I'll try. Speaking of being miserable, dating is miserable in 2024, as I'm hearing from some of my friends, some people, some of my younger. I've been hearing that too. as I'm hearing from some of my friends, some people, some of the younger. Just miserable. And I am obsessed with this YouTube show, The Cut, which we have reviewed a couple of times, the dating show, where they hit the buzzer and then you have to go off to the next one, you hit the buzzer, you have to go off to the next one. First person

to hit the buzzer, the other person has to leave and then you move on to the other thing. But lest you think, when I was watching the show the very first time, I thought there was a show once that had a buzzer and it was like a watching the show the very first time I thought there was a show once That had a buzzer and they were it was like a blind date with the buzzer I remember this you had a certain amount of time to talk to like five people You would buzz onto the next person you would buzz when you got sick of that person you would buzz But I could not for the life of me find this show You know what the show was called buzz because YouTube can read my brain

It popped up this show, Buzz, from 1996. Probably one of just a few episodes, as I mentioned, that ever made it to air. When we get back from the break, I thought we would review one of the Buzz episodes, so you can see what the 1996 version of The Cut looks like. Let's do it. Oh, I like your enthusiasm.

Ha, bzz, bzz. Bzz, bzz, bzz. We'll be back. Oh my God, Christina, you're an icon and a legend. That's my impression of you when I tell you that you can officially get tickets to come see us in Florida. We'll be at Daniel Beach Improv on September 24th and the Funny Bone Orlando on September 25th. And both of those links are already in the show notes. So come see us and giggle your way into our little hearts.

If you can't make it to Florida to win our love, don't worry, we're easy. All it takes is to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. Or you can text us at 212-433-3TCB. And check out our website, tcbpodcast.com for all of our audio video content and any sneaky links we might share.

All right, are you ready to get into this? Let's do it. Let's get ready to rumble. Oh yeah, Buzz from 1996, the point of the game. You'll get the point of the game. I think they'll explain it to you,. Oh yeah, Buzz from 1996, the point of the game, you'll get the point of the game, I think they'll explain it to you, but four singles, Guy or girl, four singles of the opposite sex, because this is 1996, four singles of the opposite sex are behind a wall, talk a little bit about themselves and they come out, they've got just a couple of seconds to make their pitch, answer the

questions from the single and you get buzzed or you don't get buzzed. Here you go, ready? Go. Okay. Don't you wish you could just push a button and make them disappear? Well, now you can. On Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! There's no audience in the history of television that is this excited about the show. And is this the same set as like Nickelodeon? I mean, it's very. I'm sure that a lot of these were filmed

on the same set as something else, but yeah, you're right. This does look like the double dare set, basically. Instead of slime. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Mark, we gotta wrap it up quickly because we got Buzz coming on next, scantily clad women,

and my cheese moment, how to make a date. Alright, so you're wrapping up so we can get the ding-dongs out of you. Thanks, appreciate it. I double dog dare ya. I loved that show, Double Dare, by the way. It was fun. It's fucking incredible. Next of your show, me and Annie Wood!

Ah, the famous Annie Wood. What was she in? I don't think anything else. Hello! Welcome! Welcome to the show with people that have lots to say, have little time to do so. We will watch as our first buzzer chooses a mate. Later on we'll see how well they match up when they compete for cash and for that big date in the simpawtical round. And in the final buzz, the winning contestant will have a chance to buzz the buzzer if they so choose. Pete Slauson Can you imagine this young lady right here is just like, she's young in this, obviously in her 20s or maybe her early 30s or something. She probably goes to school, goes to, you know, broadcasting school or whatever, you know, fine arts, liberal arts college. She's so excited. She's been slogging her way through Hollywood just to get that big break.

And someone comes up to her and says, you want to do Buzz? What's Buzz? I'm not sure either, but it pays $99 a day and you get free lunch. I'll do it. It's my big break. Nationally syndicated television show, Buzz. It lasted for 10 episodes, and I don't think I've ever seen this person in another thing ever. No. First let's meet our first buzzer. Kind of like us, Chrissy. This is it.

This is it. Commercial break, and that was it. But we're way past 10 episodes. Well, that's true, but that's not because the network is making a decision about whether or not we stay or go. Well, I guess they are in some sense, but. Hey, I'm Rich. I mean, that's my name. I'm not really Rich. I wish I was, but I just came from the heat of Orlando, Florida to the heat of LA. Now I'm looking for a sweet, sensitive homebody who won't mind kicking her shoes off and getting crazy once in a while. And she better not nag me because I hate nags. Yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle,

yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle, yackle wearing a shirt and a tie under it, they are wearing large lapel, like silk shirts. This is a style back then. I call this the

smash mouth look because I think this is how Smash Mouth looked in most of their music videos. The Smash Mouth. Yes. Look at the collar on that shirt. That's unbelievable. Alright, so what's the matter with eggs? Why don't you like nags? What's the problem with nags? I don't understand why you don't like nags. You know, I murdered the last couple ones that were naggy, you know. Just, I have a bad habit of burying people.

That's why I moved all the way across the country. Yeah, I have a bad habit of siren people up in my basement. My mom kicked me out. I ain't get up in the morning. See, that's why I don't like that. Did you get it? It was a little bit. Where are you going, my friend? I'm sitting right here.

So you dare to like. He's sitting right there. How nice, is that it? No, not too many. I just stay away from him. I don't even. Okay, you're not even attracting that. Nah, all right.

Well, let's see what we can do for you. I'll take a picture, all right? I just want to point out that he just cited an example of someone being a nag as telling him to get up in the morning. Yeah, get up in the morning. I mean, do you have a problem getting up in the morning? Cause I think there's a larger issue.

Well, to be fair, there's lots of people who get up in the afternoon. You know what I'm saying? Get up in the morning. It sounds like you got mommy issues, bro. By the way, is this the type of guy you would approach or Deproach in a bar. Deproach. Got it. Rev down. I wanted a woman to say that. Hi Richard, I'm Tina. I work for the Disney Company and I'm a huge fan of Little Mermaid I also am a professional line dancer in my spare time. Bring me out there and I will show you the Tush Push.

The Tush Push from the Disney fan. Oh the Tush Push. The classic Tush Push. The boot, scoot, boogie. Now they're called the Pussy Clapin. Pussy Clapin. Ha ha ha ha! Pussy clevin! Clevin' that pussy! First of all, if you don't want to nag, a Disney adult is probably not who you want to hook up with.

I'm just casting dispersions on an entire group of human beings, who sometimes I might consider myself one. So there you go. Both you and I can't bring you out now, but why don't you give me a good sample of what a tush push is. Okay. Okay. Okay. So she's behind a wall.

She's behind a wall. That's a shadow. Yeah, she's a shadow. Yeah, because you know, nothing says blind date like shadow boxing. Meanwhile, in Ireland. Yeah, people are just getting naked. They're showing your sc scrundle sack first. Thank you, contestant number one.

Contestant number two, come on out there. Richard. Hi, Richard. I'm Cheyenne and I'm a 26 year old NYU grad and I'm totally impulsive. I imitate birds and truck drivers. I'm hilarious. Pick me and we'll get all sloppy together. I do heroin random on Wednesday nights. You're gonna love me. I'm crazy.

The other one's like, let's plan a trip to Disney five months in advance. This one's like, hey, you want to smoke crack? In my mom's house? Okay, question. Go ahead and give me your truck driver impersonation. Hey baby! Come on over here! Wow. Okay.

Wow, and the bleeper. I don't know that I would lead with my truck driver impersonation. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know that I would lead with any of that, but in my 20s, that'd probably be the girl that I would pick. If I was on Buzz, that'd be the one. I'd be like, yeah, maybe. You'd sound crazy enough for Uncle Brian. Is it number three? Come on out there, Ocean. Hi, I'm Shara. I love to laugh and I totally identify with dolphins. Like them, I'm playful, I love the water and I'm always smiling. If you're

looking for a little motion in your ocean, take the plunge with me. always smiling. If you're looking for a little motion in your ocean, take the plunge with me. If you're looking for a little motion in my ocean. Why do people say stuff like that back in the 90s? Because I know I did all those cliches. You got cushion for the cushion, baby. You got a little ocean in your motion. If the trailers are rocking, they'll come and hang it. You did that. I know I did. I know I said stuff like that. I'm not sure my comedies evolved all that much, but you know, that was me.

Go ahead and tell me that you love me. I love you. Let's go swim in my ocean. Okay, that was a little creepy. The way she moved her body when she said that. By the way, who are we picking so far? I'm going for number two, I think. Based on silhouette alone, I'd go for number three, but number two, I think is just crazy enough to satisfy my insane. Where are you going? I might go three right now. Okay, three. I like it. I like where you're going.

Come on out, go ahead and reach in. Hey, I'm Celeste. I'm a dancer, so I'm totally flexible. In fact, I can cross my legs Indian style and walk on my knees. My goal in life is to fall in love, just like the movie 16 Candles. Celeste. I have absolutely no tone in my voice. That makes me a murderer. Hi, my name is Celeste. I like to kill men while they're sleeping. I dream about cutting your throat open while you're doing emails at work.

I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it.

I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it. I like to kill men while they're sleeping. I dream about cutting your throat open while you're doing emails at work. Okay, guys, thank you for coming. Good work.

Oh, no. Hi, Richard. You know what happens now. As there were four. Yeah. You're going number four? No, I'm saying there were four. There were four. There's four. I'm going number two. Chrissy's got number three. I think we both agree that one and four just aren't for one reason or the other aren't good

I do have to mention about the host here that that hair is Cartoonishly blonde. It is very platinum. Yeah, that was a style back then wasn't it? Yeah, Jenny McCarthy and all those other ones. Gwen Stefani Yeah, and then you must eliminate who's it gonna be? I'll go with number two Your person what happened what went wrong? I don't know I guess all four is just like a tough choice so I had a sort of so you just want This is an embarrassment of riches They all seem so awesome. I've actually never had to choose between two. So I don't know what to do here. It's great, but not to your liking.

Okay, have a seat my friend, I'm gonna play the rules of the game. He's got the personality of a snow pea so far. Yeah, this is not the kind of guy who probably has much luck in like the forest. So he had to go on the show. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Two minutes. We're going to have a conversation as soon as you realize that this person just is not the gal for you. Pick up that buzzer, buzz her, and I will escort her off the stage, okay? On the other hand, you like her, pick up the bell, ring a ding ding, there's your chick, okay? Two minutes.

Gotcha. If you buzz, if you buzz him. Okay, listen Warner Brothers, the production cost on this is really low. We need a buzzer and a bell. Can you do that? Can you get me a buzzer, a bell, and a shadow box? Sure, take the Double Dare set. Or the two minutes should run out, you're going to get the chick that you have no reason

to eliminate her, but you just had to eliminate one. That's fine, I'm ready to go. Okay, ready? Who do you want to see first? Let's bring out Tina. Can't test anyone. Tina! She's a huge fan of Little Mermaid. You have two minutes on your mark. It's gonna end good. Alright, Tina. If you were a toy doll. She's cute. She's cute. I don't have to say she's cute.

What would you say when I pulled your string? If you were a toy doll, what would you say when I pulled your string? Where are you getting these questions? You know the producers write these. Had to. This guy does not have the personality to drum up this kind of question.

He's probably like, what are you doing on Saturday? Say, touch me, tease me, squeeze me. Oh. What would you name me? What I name you? I'd name you Cuddles. Cuddles. Why would she name him?

She's the doll. I don't know. He would, he, I, that's true. Says, why does the doll start naming people? He's a flustered. He doesn't know what to do. Some hot chick just came out and's a flustered, he doesn't know what to do. Some hot chick just came out and started talking to him and he has no clue what to do. How about a psychology test here?

Okay, I brought up some ink diagrams here. Go ahead and tell me what you see in this picture. You and me on the beach. Do it. Taking a walk when it's the moon setting and we just are just in love. This is why this show didn't make it past 11. I'm already asleep. I know. This is the most boring first date. I wouldn't see naked attraction. Yeah. We'll review that soon too. I do have an episode that I found particularly interesting.

This is like, this is so tame, even for the 90s, this is so tame and silly and stupid. And all, if you give people two minutes, like the cut is interesting because these kids are really biting. Like they're willing to say anything and do anything. This is made for television, poppy bullshit. It's not even like, there's some of these shows

that get a little, like the innuendos go way far, or it's like a way- Even a love connection. Yeah, like hypersexual. This guy is not hypersexual. No. And these questions are silly. Oh.

I was gonna buzz her. Why did you buzz her he didn't like the walk on the beach dude you've never even had a kiss before why are you? Doing this you don't like the walk on the beach What was she supposed to say honestly it was like one of those? What do you call them Rorschach test? Yeah, it was a Rorschach test It looked like a woman with her legs open. And what she, she made it into the moonwalk on the beach or what? I, that would have been a perfectly acceptable answer. What was she supposed to say?

How the host just like shoved her. Yeah. So yeah, see you later. Got bills to pay and commercials to do. they can't hear anything. Off you go. Yeah, see you later. Got bills to pay, commercials to do, 22 minutes left to do two more of these. What? What happened? No, she was definitely cute.

Yeah, so? What? Was she wrong? I don't know, I felt myself getting an erection and my mommy told me, the erections are rad. I had to go. You guys on the beach? Yeah, I mean we were on the beach. I can see that totally. But what? Give me an answer!

I just didn't like her? Just didn't like her. Okay, sometimes that's how simple it can be. Thanks, man. Work with me here. Even the host is begging him to have some personality. Please, Belly, give me something else. Talk to me, talk to me. Uh, Shara.

Contestant number three, Cheryl! I imagine this guy is like an out of work actor. Like an extra television commercial from Orlando. He moved from Orlando to LA to get into acting. And by the way, strangely enough, so did his last date, who also happened to be a Disney mermaid who moved to LA. Yeah, that's right. Congratulations, Donnie!

Alright, here's number three. Yeah, one minute left! Look at him, he's right. Congratulations, Dolphins! Alright, here's number three. Look at him, he's playing with his hair. He's flirting like a woman. He doesn't even have any hair and he's playing with his hair. Alright, be totally honest. If you had to change one thing about my looks, what would the first thing be? Probably everything. Probably like from the head to the toe part. I don't think I'd change a thing. Probably everything. Probably like from the head to the toe part. I don't think I'd change a thing. No! And being on camera induces such a fake need to be like, she has to say these things.

Like she has to say something nice. Yeah. If she, we got in her head, look at the way she looks at this guy. If we got inside of her head, she would be like everything, but she's on TV. So, and it's 1996, so she can't say anything mean about him. Oh, that's good. Um, okay, pretend I'm your therapist, and what would be your biggest problem right now?

My biggest problem is I just moved out, and I don't have enough time to find all my stuff to put in. I was wondering if I needed a little help. What? What? I just moved out, can't find all my stuff to put in. I was wondering if I needed a little help. If you'd- What? What? I just moved out. Can't find all my stuff.

I just can't find enough time to put all my stuff out. I was wondering if I needed help. Yeah! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

It's so incredibly lame, Chrissy. I know. It's bad. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! That's what you do! Oh. So incredibly lame, Chrissy. I know, it's bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Oh, so he just chose her. Oh, based on the two questions that he asked and the incredibly dumb responses he chose her.

Probably because the guy told him it's time to wrap it up. Yeah, you gotta get going. You can't look at me like I'm gonna give you an answer. My guess is there's not even an audience there because everybody's screaming the exact same way every time they scream and no one gets this excited about television this dumb. No one does. No. And it's the most bizarre set I've ever seen in my life.

It is. It really is. It's like, you ever see that Tom Petty video? Don't come around here no more. Of course, yeah, with the Alice in Wonderland thing. This is what it reminds me of. It reminds me of the Tom Petty set. You just moved out here. I just moved out here.

The dolphin. And you liked her. You liked her. OK, now we're going to meet one of the girls that you didn't have a chance to see. Like it. That's the number four. So let's come on out.

Number four didn't even get its shot. Oh! Oh, hello! Uh-huh, that's all she had to say. So, um, man, you still happy? I'm happy, yeah, I'm happy. Well, I'm generally, uh, happy. Generally.

So, we're gonna see the gal you eliminated number one. That's the number two, Cheyenne! Come on out. Here was your pick. This is my pick. Nice, Cheyenne. Oh well, dick. Oh.

Oh, oh well, dick. I like Cheyenne. Okay, she's not the looker of the bunch, but I like her. Well, that's your name. You have me. That's your name. You have me. That's your name. All right. I'm going to separate you two. Next time I see you, we'll be the simpawtico round. We'll be right back.

Don't go away. What's the simpawtico round? Well, the simpawtico round is when you ask additional questions about each other. No, I think the simpawtico round is when the host asks questions and you answer like, yes, no, or does work, doesn't work, something along those lines behind a screen. So you see if you two are answering the same way about more incredibly dumb questions. But of course we're in it now, Chrissy, so we can't get out. We've just got to finish. We've gone down the rabbit hole.

I knew this would happen. I actually watched this episode and I was like, this is the lamest television show I've ever seen. I have to let Chrissy watch it. All right, so let's do this. Let's take a break. We'll be back with the Sympotico round. We find out whether you win tons of cash and prizes like $600. We'll be back after these words. Hello, my fans. I mean, Brian and Chrissy's fans. Boy have I got news for you. We are officially coming to Florida for TCB Live. That's right, you can come see Brian's bald head shining under the stage lights at Daniel Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th, and at the Funny Bone

in Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th. If you can't make it to see us in person, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB and leave us a little love note instead. As always, please, please, please follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. Our content is shockingly good, so get after it. And you already know I put every single one of those links in the show notes.

You're welcome. All right. We're back with the 90s dating television show that took the world by storm. Buzz. Spelled bzzz. Not even spelled buzz. Spelled bzzz. We're finding out why this night lasts very long. Yes. We're finding out why this has not even become a cult classic in its old age. I think this video had 936 views when I saw it on YouTube, when it came up on YouTube. So, the two lovebirds have found each other through an incredibly strange and lame process known as buzzing. I don't even know, you go listen. Why would you be here actually if you didn't listen to the first part? Why am I saying this? This is a whole different episode.

You just jumped in the middle. I know. Now we're getting to the simpatico round. Here's what it is. These two people are going to be separated by a screen. They will not be able to see each other. This is where the rubber meets the road. This is where the rubber meets the road. Either this is serendipity that you met at the Tom Betty, at the old Tom Betty video set, also known as Double Dare, Seth, also known as Double Dare. Or you're just going to go on your way with no gifts and nothing, but you do now have something for your actor and actress reel.

Exactly. That you can show around town for other dating shows you could be on. By the way, in the 90s, the 90s were notorious, and there are like six or seven that I could point to and maybe one day we'll go through this. The 90s were notorious for silly dating shows like this. They were all over the place. So they would run late night in the afternoons, they were syndicated. So they'd pop up on random television stations.

Some, sometimes you would see them in one market, but they wouldn't be in another market or whatever because syndication was becoming a thing. But then the other thing is, is that they were notorious for having the same people go on different shows all the time. So when you saw one person on a dating show, and they happen to have a particular personality that was boisterous or, you know, outgoing or a girl who would wear, be scantily clad and say weird, strange, outgoing things, then she would be on the next dating show also, because the casting directors would just keep casting the same people over and over again, knowing that, yeah, we may not get an actual

date out of this, but who fucking cares? That's not the point. The point is to get ratings and sell commercials. So I don't think either of these two people are who we're talking about. But here we go to the simpatico round of Buzz. Let's get back to it. Buzz. Let's get back to it. Here's Buzzer. Oh, okay. So let's move. There we go. Let's move past this real quick. Where's the Simpatico round? Where's the Simpatico round? Oh no. Oh no. What happened to the Simpatico round?

Oh no. It just jumped right into a new purple. Oh, there it is. Sorry. It went too fast. Oh, no. It just jumped right into a new couple. Oh, there it is. Here it is. Sorry. It went too fast. Okay. But I want to get to the prizes and cash that they're going to win, Chrissy, because this is big time stuff, hon.

You don't want to... I wish Astrid and I had started our relationship off like this, actually. Was this a simpawtica round? You win cash and prizes? Yeah. Dara, Dara and Richard. Dara and Richard, are you guys ready to win big in Simpatica? Big.

We're ready. All right, we're going to get it. Before we play, I'm going to tell you a little bit about the day you're playing for, and it is dinner for two at Tommy Tang. Tommy Tang. Oh, Tommy Tang. It's good old Tommy Tang.

It's well known. Still around. Oh, yeah. I'm telling you what, when you want to have a night on the town, when you want to have a night on the town, you don't want to clown around. Oh yeah, I'm telling you what, when you wanna have a night on the town, when you wanna have a night on the town, you don't wanna clown around, come to Tommy Tangs for the best

in live entertainment and wings. Tommy Tangs. Tommy Tangs. Tommy Tangs. I love it. I wanna Tommy Tangs. I wanna go to Tommy Tangs for a date! Hey baby!

Mimi at the Tang. Hey girl. It's me, Carl. Listen, I know we're not supposed to see each other, as for the clergy and the U.S. District Attorney's Office, but step outside your mom's house, I'm gonna come by and take you to Tommy Tang's, girl! You know I got that twang for Tommy Tang's. I'll show you my wang at Tommy Tang's. You wanna gangbang? You wanna gangbang at the Tommy Tang? Oh baby, let's go hang at Tommy Tangs! I gotta go get a drink up there. I'm gonna go get a... There's so many ways to go with it.

That's right, I'm gonna go get a Tommy Tang twang. You know what that is? It's a Cosmopolitan with orange juice. It's all the rage in North LA! Tommy Tangs! I'm North LA. Tommy Tangs. I'm gonna look up Tommy Tangs. Tommy Tangs. I want a Tommy Tangs in my neighborhood. What the fuck, Atlanta?

What the fuck, Atlanta? Get your shit together. I never heard of Tommy Tangs until this moment, right now, and I love it. You Google this immediately and find out if there's a Tommy Tangs we can go to, because if there is, we're gonna do an episode from there. We're gonna go TCB live from Tommy Tangs

Well, Tommy Tangs modern Thai cuisine. Oh, okay. There you go. Where are they located? Bangkok I don't know. Oh, there's no US based Tommy Tang? That's a shame. What a shame about Tommy Tang. It didn't last. Well I wonder why. Because I just don't think you want to go eat at by celebrity chef Tommy Tang. Ambience and fun from Tommy Tang's restaurants. And you'll each receive for your in-home enjoyment, KLH introduces that H221...

What? ...theatrical sound system. Stereo system. Wow, a stereo system complete with a very large set of speakers. Those things are huge. Jeez. But that's all the rage back then. And I guess those are stands.

You hang them off your wall. I guess that was state of the art back then. What is that? That's a $150 package right there. Right. ... system perfectly matched to deliver exceptional clarity for the true theater experience of KLH. You get dinner and hysteria. They call that dinner and Dolby, baby. Dinner and Dolby.

Okay. Dinner and Dolby, 1.0. I might add. All right, let's get on this, I love. And the game the buzzer picked before the show by chance is, correct it, ignore it. You take that, you take that, a hundred bucks for every matching answer.

If you get all seven right, you, my friends, will leave with a thousand dollars. Okay, if these conditions existed in your house or apartment, would you be likely to correct it or ignore it? A stereo speaker with a hum. A stereo. A stereo speaker with a hum.

How is this gonna determine your future love? What are we talking about? Okay, they both said they would correct that. A hairbrush that looks like a bird's nest. And they're a love bird. This is it, Chrissy. They're going the distance. I bet if we look up right now, Charlie and Sharla are just, is it Charlie?

What's his name? I think it was Richard. I don't even remember. Rich and Sharla. It doesn't even sound good together. Rich and Sharla. I bet. I bet.

I bet. I bet. I bet. I bet. I bet. I bet. I bet if we look up right now, Charlie and Sharla are just... Is it Charlie? What's his name? I think it was Rich or... I don't even remember. Rich and Sharla. It doesn't even sound good together, Rich and Sharla. If we look it up, these two have kids. He's like a city councilman.

She's on the board of the PTA. Oh yeah. This is a match made in heaven, Chrissy. Correct it or ignore it. A slow dripping faucet. Oh. Oh. Oh. She would ignore it.

That's a red flag if I've ever seen one. Ignore her is what I say. Quite some sound effects you got going there, Richard. Correct it or ignore it. A cloudy fish tank. Cloudy fish tank. Correct it. There we go. Who would allow? We'd ignore a cloudy fish tank. Cloudy fish tank. Correct it. Who would allow?

We'd ignore a cloudy fish tank. I guarantee the fish would probably not ignore it. 300 bucks. You, careful there Richard. This is reminding. Correct it or ignore it. Your ex-flame's pile of belongings. 400 bucks. Yeah, now who's gonna leave? Your ex-flames pile of belongings. Go on, you're good! Yeah, now who's gonna leave?

Yeah! Who's gonna leave your ex's shit all over your house? What? Correct it or ignore it. A mattress that needs to be turned over. Oh... Yeah, I don't think they do that anymore I don't think it's a thing anymore but okay I don't think you're supposed to turn your matches over

anymore correct it or ignore it a dead battery a dead battery a dead a dead in the smoke alarm. What? Beep. I'm not gonna laugh. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Be're gonna get eight out of seven. What happened? What happened? There's another couple, and now, yeah, I don't know what happens. I guess they go to tangs and they go to tangs and they get twanged.

I'm not even sure how it works. I don't know what to say about this. This television show is a hot mess for beginning to end, and how it ever survived 10 episodes, I don't know. I mean, there's a network executive out there that is no longer a negative network executive out there because of this television show. It's gotta be. Buzz, I wonder how, I think it's 10 episodes. I'm going to, let's look at this. Buzz dating show. I'm going to look this up while we're just sitting here. There's a, there's a thing in the bottom right corner that says buzzer. Oh

It's a buzzer are well, I thought it was buzz Well, it says buzz here, but I don't know. Let's see buzz and the American game show Oh, it actually lasted for two years. Wow, excuse me. Wow, that's a lot longer than I would have anticipated Anybody would have put up with this crap. Oh, it's got a Wikipedia page It's a Stu billet production Chrissy Stu this crap. Oh, it's got a Wikipedia page. It's a Stu Billet production, Chrissy. Stu put together quite a few. Number of seasons two.

How many episodes though? I want to know how many episodes. The premise. It doesn't even say how many episodes. No one even bothered to count how many episodes of this show there were. It's time for it to go. It aired on Saturday nights from February to July In 1996 and 1997 with reruns continuing on some stations until

2001. Wow. Geez. And then aired again, aired again from 20, during the pandemic, from February to July, it aired again. Oh, Buzzer. Buzzer ran again. So there was a second version of this called Buzzer. Well, that's what it says. Well, I think that this is, this is, this said 1996 when I saw it, like I pulled it from the archives, it was 1996, but it is just unbelievably crazy that this show even made it two seasons.

I can't believe it. It's so terrible. Why would you watch this? Well, we just did, but you know, we have a comedy show that we like to make fun of people on. Well, Chrissy, meet me at Tangs. I'll meet you at Tang's. I think we need to. We're getting a T-shirt made that says meet me at Tang's. TCB meet me at Tang's. Yes. Oh!

Meet me at Tang's. That was the funniest thing. We're getting banged at Tang's. Yeah. Gonna get banged up at Tang's. Oh, I'd love to go to a Tang's. Now I wanna go to a Tang's. I just sent you information about it.

About Tommy Tang's? Yeah, it was closed, but it was in LA. Oh. Yeah. Well, that's a fucking shame. It was on Melrose. It was in, oh, there was one. It was in Melrose.

The price was two dollar signs out of six. I guess it was affordable. I bet there's a lot of stories from Tommy Tangs. I bet people do have some stories. Have you been to a Tommy Tangs? If you've been to a Tommy Tangs, I wanna talk to you on air. I wanna talk to you. Two, one, two, four, three, three, three, T-C-B.

Two, one, two, four, three, three, three, eight, two, two. Comments, questions, concerns, content, ideas. Tommy Tang Tang stories. Awesome. You're going to be in the Dania Beach or Orlando area on the 24th or 25th. Please come see us. You know what? We've been saying it ad nauseam.

We will say it ad nauseam for another 22 days. We're going to be at the Dania Improv on the 24th. We're going to be at the Funny Bone on the 25th. Come see us. We've got a special show lined up for you. I know you're going to love it. Christina is going to be down there. Astrid is going to be down there. I think even Tina is going to be down there. Jeff's going to be at one of them. Jeff's going to be at one of them. Chrissy and I may show up. We're still trying to figure out whether we're going to show up. But you never know, surprises abound. All right, go to the website, tcdpodcast.com. More information

about the show, all the audio, all the video, all there, right, right, in one location. You can also buy your tickets from a link on the website or down in the show notes here or on our link on Instagram or at the comedy clubs themselves, any of those places. Get your tickets. Don't go to no man's other website. Stay right here. Get them from us. Also, we'd love it if you would follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, TCB podcast on TikTok and youtube.com slash the commercial break. For all of our interviews, selected clips and episodes, please subscribe, like on your favorite video.

We just love you to death. We really appreciate you. I'm just wasting time now. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you.

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chry and I always say, we do say, and we must say, Goodbye. Goodbye. That's my opinion!