The Commercial Break - Direct Buy, BYEEEEEE!

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

For only $10,000 a month plus $499.99 shipping and handling, you, too, can get unlimited shitty furniture from Direct Buy! Act NOW! Don’t call Bryan boss! Octo-mom...where are they now? Jon & Kate Plus 8 Questionable chicken, boxed potatoes, & hamburger helper Darcey & Stacey or the TLC twins? COD, the second worst idea ever TCB watches a Direct Buy Infomercial of years past Become a furniture insider! No need to worry anymore, you can be on the inside! Just a one time payment... Direct Buy: The Second American Revolution No 'Hey Boss' here! A furniture store that feels like home...*Meryl Streep voice* groundbreaking. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With less and less young people coming to the church, I fear we're not going to be able to afford our zip lines anymore. The zip lines are like an integral part of the Sunday service. And we're barely making payments on the EDM Prayer Hall we got last year. I feel like if we don't get more people to the church, next month we're not going to be able to go to Disneyland. We're going to have to go the month after. On this episode of the Commercial Break. Where'd you get your furniture?

I want to totally avoid that place. That great house and everything. But where'd you get your furniture? Me and my wife would like to avoid that at all costs. Direct by? You mean you'd actually join the shitty fucking club? The next episode of the Commercial Break. Direct by? You mean you'd actually join the shitty fucking club? The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Ah, yeah, Kazakhstan's welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the beautiful co-host Kristen Joy Haudley sending a bestie over there. Bestie over there. Bestie you ever there Brian. Sending a bestie you out there in the podcast universe. Oh, wait, hold on, what's that I hear? That's the lawnmower. Hey boss. Hey boss. I'm coming between 12 and 3 like you told me to. No, I said don't come between 12 and 3.

Okay boss, I got you. Anytime someone says boss, I know they're going got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got Hey boss got a little problem at the house. What's that? It fell down, but don't worry boss. We're taking care of it So I surprise Okay, buddy Thanks That fucking word. I would people call me boss. I was on a phone call with like a podcast thing a thing Where there are things being promised and talked about all this because I don't worry boss. We got you covered and I'm like mother fucker

I am straight to my face again, shithead. How about now call me boss? Now call me chief, cuz chief? If you think boss means you're getting screwed, if they say chief, forget about it. You might as well empty your wallet and file for bankruptcy. Hey chief, about that water line I promised to fix at the house. You're under 3 feet of water. Don't worry chief, I got it covered chief

Chief and boss that should be on our treaty no more Hey boss no more a chief chief and boss are out Don't trust anyone who says hey boss. Yeah Chief is the less often used But more likely to screw you then hey boss Hey boss, you're gonna get mildly screwed. Hey Chief, which you don't hear very often, but if you hear Hey Chief, that means you're fuck.

Fuck! It's not of a bitch. Oh my gosh, we have, at some point we should compile all of our treaties. Yeah, we should put it on the website and people can sign it while I have a little electronic signature thing, and then we'll send it to Biden and see what happens. Okay. Special pin. Biden's like, he's like,

Special pin and to law. It's a, No boss, no chief. I'm super happy to announce the cheesers made of, the moon is made of cheese. Are you there, Biden? Hello. Hey boss.

Hey boss, hey chief, gonna sign this into law now. What are you signing into law? Not! Hey, boss. Hey, boss. Hey, chief. Gonna sign this in the law now. What are you signing in the law? Not particularly sure, but it sounds great. I hate to get into politics, but I do have to agree sometimes. Sleepy Joe does a little sleep sometimes. But hey, the guy's like, I'm almost 90 years old.

I think he's 80. 83 or something like that? 86? I don't know. I don't know. All of our politicians are these old men. Listen? I don't know. I don't know. All of our politicians. These old men that, listen, I don't have any problem with an old man. Old men have a lot of experience under their belts, right? Absolutely.

And so they've seen a lot of things. Old women, old men, I don't mind the age. But when you start falling asleep at things, maybe you should reconsider your, maybe you should reconsider. Maybe you should reconsider., maybe you should reconsider. Maybe you should reconsider. And you know what, get a lawn care company that actually respects your wishes. And put the lawnmower through the window

while you're recording in the studio. Yeah, I mean, well, they hurt us. Oh, I'll just deal with it. Well, I mean, what are you gonna do at this point? These guys are in so many of our episodes. They are. Blue, the kids, and the lawn care people are the fourth people in the studio.

The third one. Being that fucking camera I can never get to work. Stupid son of a bitch. Hey, you know what I was thinking about? Hold the an eye we're just talking about before we came on air was Octo Mom. Yes. Remember the Octo Mom?

I do. That was the like, so sensational. Sensational. For like three months at Occupied space in our head that like rent free. Everywhere over all of the magazines of the grocery store. Doctor Phil.

Yeah, she was all over TV. Yeah, was she the worst mom in the world? Was she the best mom in the world? You know, if she did a porn movie at one point, which I saw, don't subject, two girls in a cup is a better porn movie, and probably more digestible. Yeah, she did, she did a porn movie at one point.

I've got to pay for this kid. Yeah, I agree. I don't knock her for doing the porn movie. You got to pay for those kids, but it is not the most pleasant porn movie I've ever seen in my entire life. But so, Chrissy and I just looked up like an update. Hey, where's Octo, Mom?

And Octo, Mom, is actually doing very well. And her eight kids have now graduated from eighth grade, so they're all off to high school. Mm-hmm. And wow, they look like decent human beings. They do. Who would have thought it? Well, she kind of went underground.

Well, I think that basically the new cycle, oh my God. Yeah, the new cycle, cycle that out, and then she probably, but I imagine that after all that crush of attention, she had to get to the job of actually raising her children. Yes. I doesn't appear that she's married,

but you know she's got to have some help. I mean, I cannot raise one of my children. I don't know how single parents do this, I know. And I have some help. I mean, I cannot raise one of my children. I don't know how single parents do this, and I have such a respect for them. Absolutely. To just raise one child and not have a partner that's helping you, but then to raise eight of them in the same stage of life at the same time.

How can you change eight kids diapers in a day? You know what I mean, diapers we go through in a day? On a child? Seven, eight. So you're changing them every three hours. That's eight times three, carry the four. That's one million diapers a day. That's a crazy.

I can't even imagine. I hope somebody bought our diapers for her. Well, she did. There was a lot of donations that came in. Okay, good. All of that happened. You know who did not get donations? Kate from Kate Plus 8.

Do you remember that, Joe? Yes. I think that's what got to me started on this whole TLC thing. Yeah, I think it was Kate Plus 8, because I used to watch that show just because I just liked Kate so much. I would wide away to hate watch Kate. Well, those two, they got divorced, right? Really quickly.

Yeah. Yeah, like within a year or two of the show. A kids will break you up. A cancel break you. Let's do it. Yeah. Well, John, now I don't want to knock anybody's parenting skills, but at least on the television show, John was less interested in raising children. You know, Kate was all over them, but then Kate was a total army sergeant.

She would be like, you know, everybody in line, stand to the left, stand to the right, raise your hands, clean your ass, you know everybody in line stand to the left stand to the right raise your hands clean your ass you know wipe your balls she was so personickity with those children that I can only imagine the therapy bills that are coming from those kids because it was really I mean it was outrageous she was outrageously tough on these children in my opinion and I don't I wonder to wonder where they are. Where's Kate? And the last I heard was some of them had moved in with John. Okay. There you go. John's like, come on in. There's moved the pizza boxes and porn magazines to the right. You guys can sleep on the couch. She didn't she like, didn't they have a television show or like, fall in love with Kate or something? Did they have a dating show to meet Kate?

I don't know. I think it was the beginning of your TLC love. It was the end of my time. You mean you like TLC when they were just showing shows about pregnancy, about birthing, like actual scientific, where you could actually learn something? It's like KFC.

TLC no longer stands for the learning channel. It's just TLC. It says TLC. KFC no longer stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's just TLC. It says TLC. KFC no longer stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's just KFC because it can't verify that what's in that, I better not say that, I'll probably get sued. I'm gonna cease and desist for Kentucky Fried Chicken. I think some guy on the internet did.

He got like a cease and desist because he kept on telling people that KFC, they couldn't verify the chicken was in KFC. When's the last time you had KFC? Oh God, it's been a long time, a long time. Did you like it when you had it? Yeah. No, it wasn't for me.

It was medium and I was like, it's just like, oh, just like a little too greasy for me. I didn't find it very appetizing. It wasn't like a big thing in our house. I think maybe once a year, my mom would bring that damn bucket of chicken home. Yes. And what it really was was a bucket of oil Yeah, like greasy slippery chicken

Yeah, the bucket and then like the mashed potatoes always kind of held a little space in my heart But really but then after a while I mean didn't know that you remember back in the day when your mom used to make like the The box mashed potatoes. Did you remember make a box of box mashed potatoes? No, she always did the potato potatoes, like real potatoes. Don't know what happened to my mom, but she went box potatoes. There was like five dishes that circulated in my house, and they would circulate over and over and over again. It would be tacos made with pre-fab taco seasoning.

Okay. Right? I like that. That was good. It would be fried chicken made with pre-fab chicken mix. So you would, you know, you just like dip the chicken in there. Shaken bake. Shaken bake. We often times had hamburger helper. That was one that circulated a lot hamburger helper. There was a lot of potatoes in a box. There was cereal. Cereal was the thing that we had in my house, but the thing that made me kind of the most skewed out, it was when my mom would do like the pork chop in a box, like the pork chop seasoning in a box,

and that was always just so, I don't know, there was something so weird about it that I never really got used to the taste of it. Now, my mom was raising four children, four boys. So she had half the children in octo, mom did. I can only imagine the amount of it. Now, my mom was raising four children, four boys. So she had half the children in Octo mom did. I can only imagine the amount of hamburger helper that's going around that Octo mom's house. So TLC has had, I mean, like, you know, they had Kate

and I think they did a thing on Octo mom one time too. Probably. Now, in the 21st century, the moms that they are showcasing are way out there. If you ever seen Darcy and Stacey, do you know Darcy and Stacey are? No, but are they the ones that win? The twins, okay, yeah. They started on, I think, 90 day fiance.

She was one of the, I say contestants. Contestants, that's 90 day fiance. Suspect? Suspects, yeah. She was only the suspects on 90 day fiance. And so Darcy was. And then, of course, it didn't work out, because Darcy's a little kuku for Coco Puffs,

but it didn't work out. And then she ended up going on the show again with a different guy. And then somehow, for some reason, they decided to give her her own show with her twin sister. And these ladies are independently wealthy, how they are, I have no idea, but they are. They have their own clothing line and all the stuff

and they're raising these two girls, or Darcy is raising these two girls and then her twin sister has just gotten married. But I just wanted to show you something because I noticed, probably, I don't watch the show, it's not something that I watch, but I watch so much TLC, you can see the trailers for the show.

And I noticed how quickly Darcy's face was changing because of, I can only imagine, plastic surgery. Of course. So I want to show you something that I found on the internet, astrophound on the internet that was sent to me. This is a three year time difference between Stacey in 2020, or Darcy in in 2020 and Darcy in 2023. You want to watch this? I just want to show it to you. I love it.

And I have a clip if we want to watch a clip, but hold on one second, let me do this first. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,

duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh or celebrate you can go and look at that. Look at that. Yikes. On the left side is 2020. She looks very pretty. Her plastic fantastic, but still. No, it's a little bit there. Yeah, she's like a human, she's in the human range. Right, yes. Yes. She's in the human range.

On a one to 10, she's like a five. Could be a non-sentient being, could be a sentient being. But it's nothing outrageous. You see this all the time. This is not, you know, she's obviously had work done, but it's not that noticeable. Now, move over to the right side, 2023. I don't even know what happened.

How do you even manufacture a face from that to that? How do you do that? Look at those cheeks. Obviously, she's had her cheeks raised, obviously she's had her nose done, looks like she had some work on her forehead, on her chin, on her lips, or boobs, that's the least of anybody's concern.

Look at the difference in the hair, like it's... The eyes. The eyes. It's so disturbing. Disturbing. It's... I don't... Just make an avatar.

I'm going to the metaverse. Yeah, go to the metaverse. She looks like the metaverse avatar. You can actually get the surgery. You can just make yourself on the, you know, the lady who like made herself into the cat woman. Yeah. And it's a highly disturbing photograph. Darcy is heading in that direction. She's got to be a little, I think she should be a little bit cautious about the next move she makes with the plastic surgery because she's gonna go like cat woman pretty soon.

That is disturbing to me. I'm sorry. And I'm not look-shaming somebody. I'm not like, whatever you want to do to yourself, do to yourself, my personal opinion, my personal opinion is that is way overboard. Yeah. She jumped in the deep end of the liposuction

factor. It came back the other end. That's insane. I know. I can't stop looking at it. Absolutely. So now every time that I see a trailer for this show, Darcy and Stacey, I get super buffed. Do you want to watch a look? You want to see a little, oh, that's not Darcy and Stacey. That's going to be her in five years. Yeah. That's going to be her in five years. Yeah, that's going to be her in five years. She's going to look like Huck. Oh, there it is. Okay.

Hold on one second. I can fix this. Hold on. Okay, very rarely do we edit the show like that, but I wanted to make sure that we got this in because I've never even seen the show. So let's watch together. Let's watch like two minutes of Darcy and Stacey together.

Two minutes, 30 seconds of Darcy and Stacey together. Here we go. The tension between us, it's not because there's no twin wedding. That's not the point. Stacey is deflecting and not looking at the bigger picture. I think the real tension here is that she... I think her nose has been done so many times. She can't even breathe through it.

Sounds like she's got like Michael Jackson. No, that's not the point. She can't even breathe through it. Sounds like it's great. She's like Michael Jackson. No, that's not what you changed. So she started planning her wedding. She's been high strong and condescending. It's a f***ing up. Can descending? She can't even say condescending. Her nose is so stuffed up.

Look at those lips. The lips are just, I don't understand the lips. I don't understand it either. They had lips in the first place. Why plump them up like pillows like that? That looks really weird. Yeah understand it either. They had lips in the first place. Why plumped them up like pillows like that? That looks really weird. Yeah, it does. Well, as soon as I said about it,

Georgie, I was actually relieved. Did they end? Did they have to get some, since they're twins, do they have to get like the exact same surgery? No, they're not like that. That's another show on TLC where everything has to be done exactly the same way. They have to count their calories.

They have to eat the exact same amount of food because they never want to be different than each other. They always want to be exactly the same way. They have to count their calories. They have to eat the exact same amount of food because they never want to be different than each other. They always want to be exactly the same. Yeah, what happened to those two? Well, those two are still on there. I'll get a clip of that. I'll play that one. Because we're not having sex with the same guy.

They were having sex with the same guy. They wanted to impregnate themselves at the exact same moment. So I can't even imagine the minutia of that. I guess they take turkey basters and just three, two, one, go. I mean, that's so highly disturbing. These two, look at those lips. That is insane to me.

Please never do that to yourself. No matter how famous we get, don't do that to yourself. Don't worry, we're not going to get that famous ever, but if we were to, by some strange turn of the universe, we get that famous, don't do that to your lips, Chrissy. No, we were to, by some strange turn of the universe, we get that famous, don't do that to your lips, Chrissy. No, we'll not be doing that to the lip. Keep your lips under lock. You're lips are on lock.

But you know what you can do? You can go walk outside and tell those guys to shut the fuck up. I use my lips. Oh my God. These poor listeners of ours, they're like, what's that? I think they have a lawnmower in the studio with them. We kind of do because it's less than two feet away from me right now.

All right. I like that they rev it up when they get close. Yeah, you have to rev it up when you get close because that's what you do. I can't. There's such a much of an effort. Are you sure it's all blue out there riding around on the lawn more. No, blue's got a broken leg. So blue is relegated. We actually had to put like, we put paper on the bottom half of

the windows, we taped it. So she can't see outside. So she can't bark, she can't get excited. She is supposed to be in a fucking crate for 10 weeks, 10 weeks. We are only three weeks from the surgery, and blue will not sit still. Now you see well. No, so at this point, I just throw my hands up in the air, and I said, let it be what it be, but if you ruin your brand new knee,

I'm not getting to you another one. It's kind of like with the kids. If you ruin that toy, I'm not getting to you another one. I tell blue, if you ruin that knee, I'm not getting to any other one. I tell Blue, if you ruin that knee, I'm not getting to any other one. You're out. No more. You're cut off. Ha ha ha. Insurance won't pay for the second one, so guess what, Blue? You're done. D-O-N-E.

Ha ha ha. T-C-B. Hey you, guess you. I hate to interrupt all the fun, but I just want to remind you that tcbpodcast.com is where you find all the audio and the video, plus you can contact us to get your free 21EPM sticker. Just go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, tell us you want to stick or drop us your address, and off we go. Plus you can write to us at 855-TCB-8383. That's 1-855-TCB-8383.

For all of our international listeners, we'll pick up the toll. Go ahead and text us. If you have comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, we're taking them all at 855-TCB-8383. If you want to view the commercial break in a whole new light, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break to see the fully edited episodes. You'll love it or your money back, I promise. While you're at it, hit us up on Instagram at the commercial break and TCB live on TikTok. So let's take a minute to hear from our sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. Hey, I wanted to, I thought we'd take a moment. The show is called the commercial break and every once in a while we do like to have fun

with commercials. So I thought we would take some time to review a commercial. Oh good. Do you remember back in the 90s, probably in the early 90s, there was a company called Direct Buy. This is before Amazon, really before it. I mean, the internet was around and there were some small e-commerce websites, but nothing like we have today. It's obviously a very immature business at that point. No one trusted giving their credit card number to a website. It's so no one bought anything off of the web unless you were... you just didn't check in the mail. Yeah, you would Yeah, that's right

You would order it on the web and then you would send a check for it. So four weeks later you could receive it It's most ridiculous thing. I see a D we're see a D cash on delivery Yeah, I would oftentimes order my CDs that way. Yeah, and then my dad would be like The UPS guy wants a check. Oh yeah, that's my you know, Sisters of Angel, Grunge Rock man. That's a new Wilcoe album dad. Good. Go ahead and sign for that. Yeah. I'd come home and my mom would be like the UPS guy came today and he wanted $12.95 for something I'd be like oh, that's my new project album. It doesn't go away. No, you supposed to pay for it

COD isn't that better than stealing your credit card and telling him on the phone I ordered so many things COD and my parents never paid for it. It always got sent back They're always like later But COD was a cool concept. It was a cool concept. Yeah, you didn't have to pay. COD for those of you that don't know. You just ordered it.

It actually came to your door. It came to your door. And then you had to pay for it then. Right then, the guy had to take a check right there. It's a checker cash right there. That makes no sense. It made no sense whatsoever. How many UPS delivery drivers got just rich as shit

because they were like cash? I don't know. I'm just saying, but Direct Buy is one of these early discount providers of all kind of stuff for your house. And here I thought we'd take a listen to the Direct Buy infomercial from the early to mid 90s. You ready? Okay, I'm having a stroll on the internet as you do. I do do I found an old direct buy infomercial. Let's take a yonder

This is the program that retake. Oh, sorry. We are home This is the program that retailers don't want you to see because of the information about to be disclosed. They don't want John it's me retailer We've got to get this direct buy commercial off the air now. I don't want you. John, it's me, retailer. We've got to get this to wreck my commercial off the air now. I don't want them to see this. If they know they can buy couches for $100 off, they're never coming in the store again. To learn just how much money you've been giving away to retail markups and items you purchase for your home, all because you don't know how to buy like the insiders do.

If you own a home, big. The insiders. I didn't realize that we're insiders for furniture buying. Who's an insider? People in the know. I could just see two people meeting, like a guy, like a cloak and dagger type situation. Running away from people, changing cabs,

ends up in an alleyway, it's rainy, someone's got a hat on There's a vanilla envelope. Yeah, there's a vanilla envelope here You can buy You can buy that water bed for $50 less How great what's your name? No names. I'm an insider I could get in real trouble for giving you this information. Mom, new or not so new?

If you're building, remodeling, or simply redecorating a room, there's now a way to buy everything you need at prices you never imagine possible. No store markups, just top quality name brand products, all available at the price, the manufacturers, and their authorized distributors will sell a product for. So let me get this straight. You got a catalog and you're going to distribute that to the people who call you up. This is the most ridiculous concept I've ever heard my entire life.

Of course there were discount stores back then. Of course you could go and get discounts on stuff, but if you paid by direct, 1999 plus 1999 shipping and handling, they would send you a catalog where you could buy a faucet at 30% on. I mean, you want to be an insider? Do you want to be an insider? Or do you not want to be an insider? Or do you want to continue to be on the outside?

Do you want to come in the tree of trust with the special discounts for anything in your home? Old, new, big, small, or do you want to continue to buy with a regular people? See a bunch of old people at home. We have to be inside of it. Janet, get my walker. We're going to become inside of all our life we've been paying full price.

You find at the stores. Now you too can be on the inside track and stop giving your money away every time you buy something for your home. You need to tell you more about how to buy like the insiders do from a direct buy showroom is your host Lisa Hart. I don't know about you, but it's so hard. Lisa Hart from the entertainment side. No, different Lisa Hart. That was just a point I had to learn that also. Always something to buy for my home. And it doesn't matter if your house is new or old. No, different Lisa Hart. That was disappointing to learn that also.

Always something to buy for my home. And it doesn't matter if your house is new or old, if you're remodeling or rebuilding, or just buying a little something for around the house. Have you ever... Did you spend a little something for the house? You know, like a king size bed with a chest of drawers and two chairs on the side?

Are they still around? Because I'm interested in a new dresser. Oh, you are? Yeah, they're still around. It's called Ikea. Yeah. Yeah, it's the dump. The dump to the dump to the dump, dump, dump, dump. Such an awful conversion. It really is. All the items you need for your home, it's thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars. Well, no need to worry anymore. We are literally not gonna charge you anything for any of this. No need to worry anymore.

Being a part of the direct bike. I know. I've been worried. Chrissy, don't worry about buying that in the house. I haven't had to get asleep lately. You know, it's been keeping me up at night. How much you're paying for? I mean, how much are paying for?

Pay for furniture? Let me tell you something. You gotta do it like the insiders do. Insiders pay for nothing. They literally get houses built for them for free, but you have to be part of the direct buy club. After tonight, joined the direct buy club, over three years ago, and we've been paying nothing for our furniture sense. It's just a small one-time ten-thousand-dollar fee plus $699 a month and 499 shipping and handling. And we have literally gotten two office chairs for free. We never got charged for them. And if you act now, I know that you can get this free discount magazine where the insiders pay nothing for the paper.

Just remember. We're going to show you how to get most everything you want and need for your home at prices, even lower than sale prices. We've been members for a little over two years, and we've saved, I think, well over $20,000. We've saved. Why do those people that look like they've been taken hostage by the DirectFi club? I don't know if you can. You've got to love the testimony. Yeah, testimonials are great.

What do they find these people? Where do you find these people? I think I'm asking a serious question. And how much do they get paid to do this? They're real customers. I'm sure that they all, they're like, how the fuck do we get out of this direct buy thing? I think.

If you sit down and test. I guess I'll share. For every one couple you bring in, you're closer to getting out. I think. Probably almost an excess of $18,000. This is going to sound crazy. But we saved almost $20,000. This is going to sound crazy. But I want to fuck out a direct buy

Chris say this is gonna sound crazy, but I'm literally been held hostage for four years by direct buy $20,000 how much did you pay how much did you pay to be a part of direct buy? $20,000 it's scratch part of Direct Buy. $20,000. It's scratch. SAVE. Not spent SAVE $20,000. Total of over $25,000 in the last eight months.

These folders represent the last seven or eight months of my purchases at Direct Buy. Damn. Damn. She's bilingual. Yeah. She's good. How many houses do you have? She's got all these folders. These folders represent every time direct buys screwed me over

And why are you keeping track of your furniture purchases like that? Do you put your furniture purchases in an envelope? No, but I mean I guess it's all online whatever Yeah, that's true. It's not it wasn't the same Paper trail back then. Yeah, that's true. It's not even that. It was in the same backpack. It had a paper trail back then. Yeah. But her hair looks great. It does. This hair represents about a $30,000 to $40,000 savings overall.

We have saved about $50,000. I figure with the sourced an all that have saved over... Between $150,000 and $50,000. I like her house. It just keeps getting better. I mean, she's got the crystal laid out in the background there. It looks like she's at like a Malibu. Yes.

She's living high on the hog. She's an insider. She's an insider. That's how she got all of that. She's also gotten entirely too much time on her hands. Who spends $150,000 on shit for their house in the last four months? I mean, unless you're building a house, I guess.

Direct buy is part of a buying organization started over thirty years ago by people who were fed up with the high markups retailers charge on things like furniture flooring and other items for your home but it was like it was a band it was a group of people were fed up work here you area We're fed up. We're at a big screen. Here you go.

To all those fed up with playing high prices from the outside, we are now the inside. We will bend together and get up to 5% off on all of our items. It's the second American revolution. The Rook flying. So another words, you don't have a shitty contractor in the middle calling you hay balls. We take the high boss out of all your vying. No chief here.

Yeah, there was no real business model that they thought of. It was just, people were fed up. Yeah, people were fed up. You know what they did? They took the, again, they took the shitty general contractor out of the middle of the situation because that's what happens. You buy a box of tile. You know what they do?

They go to floor and decor and then they charge you twice for it. That's what happens. And Summers by paying retail, we are simply losing money that we can never get back. Today, there are more than- Well, every time I buy something, I'm spending money, I can never get back. It's kind of a dumb thing to say. 100 direct buy centers are- Sir, enjoy your brand new 1000-inch screen TV.

And we'll send your money back in 30 days. Welcome to Direct Buy. Cross-North America saving hundreds of thousands of members, millions of dollars every year. Hi, I'm Tony Galata. This is my wife, Carrie Galata. This is our house, my wife's dream house. And we furnish most of everything in this house with products from direct buy and that fixture was over $1,600. $1,600. We've got it for about $758 through direct buy. This is the heart for this. Did you also get your acid wash

jeans? Seven sizes too big from direct buy. I did. Yes. I think they did. I wouldn't this house. The way the house is decorated. even for the 90s is pretty bad Kitchen area this couch we saw some other retailers. It was approximately $2,000 we picked up a direct buy for around $900 The tile and the floor we picked out a direct buy the bar stools. We picked out a direct everything Our kids we picked out a direct buy the bar stools. We picked out a direct buy everything. Terex buy our kids. We picked out a direct buy. Normally, Octo mom was selling them for $7,000.

We got this one for $3,000. It doesn't talk much. But that's okay. Looks great on the new couch. Isn't that right, Octo-Son? Show them your new bar stools there, Octo-Son. Then we also purchased the breakfast table and chairs. We look at that table some other places.

It's the worst furniture I've ever seen. I know. Yeah, they're just by the tree version of the real stuff for less money. But, it's just like, just like when you go buy a box of cereal or when you go buy a drink at the bar,

furniture is marked up 100%. It's 100% markup business. And that's why places like the dump can sell you stuff. You know what they do is that a manufacturer will make a bunch of stuff and then they can't sell half of it. So they put it out on these like discount platforms like the dump or a website or whatever Amazon, whatever it is. This is just an early version of that whole scheme. This is the shitty furniture we couldn't get rid of. so now you get it for 30% off Exactly. Was that table here? They ran around $3,500 and we picked it up for around $1,500

$3,500 for a fucking table around table with four chairs. Yeah, I bought that by my table for like, you know $30 or something like that. It also has landmarks all over it, but It was quite a big savings for us. This particular house was a parade of homes house that had probably close to over 2000 people come through it. One of the comments all the people made was, where did you get your furniture? Where did you get your furniture? I want to totally avoid that place. That great house and everything, but where do you get your furniture?

Me and my wife would like to avoid that at all cost. Direct by? You mean you'd actually join that shitty fucking club? Makes sense. Makes a lot of sense. Well, we're on our way to the really nice looking home, so we'll see you later. I think they start with the worst and then they go to the best. Your number one on the list. The parade of homes. Homes can't parade. It's such a lie. And I've been on a couple parade of homes. Type thing like a home tour. Yeah. Never saw a furniture like this at a parade of homes.

I went to release two R today. You think they look back on this and go, wow, we got taken for a ride to get direct by shit. Yeah. What did you get that? So they were pleasantly surprised when we told them direct by and they were like, you're kidding. The same place we see on TV. So you're kidding. You joined that. You're kidding. You're a cheap asshole. I thought that was for trailer park people, but nope. Is that that place where a bunch of people got together and said no longer are we gonna pay those markups? Let's don't fucking idea. I bet this guy's like the chairman of the board

of Direct Buy. About a hundred thousand just furnishing this house. I was just like, oh, if you only knew how much we've really spent, it wasn't even near that. Compared to any other way of buying, direct buy stands alone. It makes you an industry in sucks. It stands alone as the shittiest way to buy furniture. And what happens?

You're like, I'm curious as to the minutiae of this. So you pick it out of a catalog and then it shows up. Yeah, she's out of the warehouse. Yeah. Looks like, you know, but I'm curious as to the minutia of this. So you'd like pick it out of a catalog and then it shows up. She's at the warehouse. Yeah. Looks like, you know, there's samples. Sound stage number one. Yeah. Sampling on the background.

There's a bunch of people sitting at desk. Yeah. But seems like maybe you just, it's not that complicated. No, you, they give you a magazine and then you pick what you want and then they ship it to your home eventually. Remember back then. Back then you ordered something on TV months to get there. Yeah, there was no one was in any rush. Now people throw a hissy fit if it's not there the next day. But back then, I'm telling you kids, you guys got it. You really, really, really do have it fantastic. You know, it's a much shittier world we live in today, but back then, you

didn't get your stuff quite as fast. Hi there. You'll enjoy access to thousands of products at a single location, all at direct prices. In most cases, you choose from the manufacturer's entire product lines, in categories such as windows, flooring, lighting, plumbing fixtures, cabinets, appliances, and even furniture. You get the same exact items you'd find in a store with the same manufacturers' warranties. You just pay a whole lot less. Design, delivery, and installation services are all available at your local direct-by-center. Oh, there's a direct-by-center, you would actually go somewhere.

Yeah, that's what it's meant. I did not know that. Yeah, no, because she said earlier that there were hundreds of locations across North America. There are hundreds of locations across America. So they built the whole North America? So they built the whole infrastructure, like physical buildings around this?

Yeah. Wow, this is a lot more complicated than I imagine. Yeah, Direct Buy really had to keep that money flowing. They had a bunch of buildings. Since Direct Buy doesn't mark up the merchandise like retailers do, there's never any pressure to buy. a wrecked buy really had to keep that money flowing. They had a bunch of buildings. Since Direct Buy doesn't mark up the merchandise like retailers do, there's never any pressure to buy. You shop in a comfortable, friendly environment, free from the sales pressure found in a tip-up showroom.

It's my- Yeah, and they have a bunch of books in your flip-through, and then somebody helps you buy, and then they probably- Don't you want to be upgrade? Yeah, do you? Yeah, do you? If you're gonna buy the shitty poo-poo brown couch, why don't you get yourself a shitty

poo poo brown throw to go on there. The ottoman. And right now, if you act quick, we've got another acto son available. Now, limited time, we've got Kate plus eight, my children available To go with your poo poo brown couch The private club then a store and while you're busy saving money. It's more like a private club than a store You're an insider. Wow. What do they have like stripper like there's a background somewhere? Yeah, and while the woman shopping the men are getting laughed at says champagne room from the real Lisa Hart from entertainment tonight.

You can walk away with some bar stools today. Show me your bar stool, baby. Where are my children? Don't worry about it. Your kids will be busy playing in an area that's designed especially for them. Oh, yeah, they take the kids away. You take the kids away. They know, they take the kids away.

They put them in five by five cell. With all the other journey kids. Yeah, with all the other journey kids and all the other journey toys. Nothing strikes fear into the part of a parent like that corner of a store where the toys haven't been wiped down since 1992. And your kids instantaneously go and put him in your mouth.

Oh, look daddy. It's a kitchen. Oh, okay. Don't touch it. I'm putting my tongue all over it. Nothing like giving your kids in Sepilitis at your local to act by club. For a limited time, you can take these in Sepilitis-filled children home with you.

And if you forget your children, don't worry. Well, lock them conveniently in the store. From the price you pay to the way you shop, everything it direct buy is designed to make your experience easy and enjoyable. This is Lady have a volume button on her voice? Like even when she's excited, she's feeling like that creep me out. Yeah. A good amount. I know. That's the direct buy difference. The direct buy you just feel like you're at home, you know, it's a very comfortable environment that makes shopping easy. There's someone I would hope a furniture store feels

like home. You know what I'm saying? I think that's a stupid thing to say. Help you make sure your fabrics go together well that, you know, that even the lighting in your house is going to reflect the true colors. Look at that. Did you see that guy? Look at the guy with his lady. He's like, he's doing SOS with his eyes. He's like, help. I've been kidnapped. Where are they? Like a doctor's office?

Yeah, they're at the doctor's office, also known as their home. Go together well that, you know, that even the lighting in your house is going to reflect the true colors. The staff that we've dealt with at Direct Buy has been exemplarist. I got two below jobs when I was there. And my children still over there playing.

I haven't seen them in weeks. Full of their, our knowledge of all. But I feel like I'm going to a club because I know everybody there. Our experiences have been just positive across the board. Like walking into cheers at the game. Hey, how are you? Why lose money, Penguin? Hey, suckers! Cheers! I'm

getting more commission. Come on in. We all need a commission check. It's Christmas time. You tell if you no longer have to. Take a look at this old outdated master bedroom. What would you say if I told you at Direct Buy you could could transform this room into this new, completely redecorated master bedroom. Take a look at this outdated bedroom. What if I could tell you you could update that outdated bedroom with another outdated bedroom? What would you say to that? It's a newer date. Over $2,000 in your pocket compared to what you would pay even on sale prices. Let's take a closer look.

This four-piece cherry bedroom set is the highlight of our new room. This bedroom set might have an MSRP that's higher, but the actual store selling price for these four items comes to $3,496. It's very good quality from a well-known manufacturer and it seems to be a good deal for such a nice set. But let's take a closer look at that price. Did you know in the home furnishing area alone, stores enjoy a gross margin of 43.3%. Okay, you had me at outdateddated furniture lady. Wow. Yeah, I didn't know that they had physical stores.

I don't remember that part of it. But if you say, do you remember driving by a direct buyer too? Yeah, they're like a warehouse type thing. Yeah, they had them up in like Gwyneth or something like that. I mean, here in Georgia, they had them in Gwyneth. Yeah. Wow. Sounds like a, I'm curious to know, do you actually pay anything to be part of direct buy?

Or was it just that you... Oh, you're paying? Oh, yeah. You have 30 days to spend $10,000 with as a UR OUT! It's me, Mr. Insider! I can see here on the Insider's website that you have yet to purchase $10,000 with a furniture. We're gonna sell your children. And then you got the old lady who spent over 150 grand on her really, really nice house on the lake.

But I'm gonna guess that little old lady just likes to go in and talk to people. And that's why she spent so much fun. I think those people were paid actors. I mean, so there's that I definitely don't think they were I definitely don't think they were actors, but they probably were paid Not one of them was convincing But that made it convincing. Yeah, that made it convincing. All right. Well, you know It's time for the show to end now that the long guys have stopped cutting the lawn

So right on time. Yeah, right sweet of them to spend the 45 minutes cutting the lawn right when we're in the middle of recording but thank you very much for putting up with it you know we're just trying to do it here Chrissy that's all we're trying to have a little fun make people yeah hey boss we'll be back we'll be back next time boss whatever you're recording mags we'll be back yeah and hey you boss out there in the podcast universe, tcbpodcast.com, that's where you go. You can find out more about Chrissy and I listen

to all the audio, watch all the video. It's all right there at tcbpodcast.com. And if you want your free 21 EPM sticker, 21 ejaculations per month, we'd love to give you one. Not an ejaculation, but an actual sticker. So do us a favor, hit the contact us, but, send us your address, we'll send you a sticker on a couple other little goodies. 1-855-TCB8383-855-TCB8383 anywhere in the world.

toll-free will pick up the charges. Text us your comments, questions, concerns and content ideas. We'd love to hear from you. We respond to Never Spam. At the commercial break on Instagram and tcb podcast on tiktok okay Chrissy I guess that's oh youtube.com slash the commercial break I guess that's all I can do for today I think so I love you best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say good bye Good bye! ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ you you