The Commercial Break - Do You Know Someone With A Nose? Theresa Caputo Pt.1

Episode Date: March 19, 2021

Episode Summary Bryan and Hoadley discuss the incredibly predictable outcome to The Bachelor. Then they take aim at one of TV's greatest show-persons / con-artists...the unforgettable princess of dark...ness herself...Theresa Caputo. There will be no doubt about how the gang feels on this episode of The Commercial Break. SPONSORS:  Comedy Podcasts Club on Clubhouse (The Only Club on Clubhouse Dedicated to The Comedy Podcast + Clubhouse Comedy) LINKS: Watch Clips of this episode on Youtube Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: +1 (470) 584.8449 FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: info@tcbpodcast.com   A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast  Top 1% Of Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Music Associated Prince said that Joe Biden is pregnant. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Starting point is 00:00:32 Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah! Yeah! Ha! Yeah! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:00:40 Ha! Yeah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Whoa! Yeah! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- It is now my distinct honor to introduce the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, John Roberts, to administer the presidential oath to the next President of the United States, Joseph R. Biden. Oh, yeah. On this episode of The Commercial Break. This is a tough one.
Starting point is 00:01:28 I feel for you, man. You know, it's like that good friend that you hate to talk to because they say shit. They're always like, I hear what you're saying. I'm holding space for you. I don't want to say any of the whole space for me me I just answer my fucking question. Tell me what to do. What do I do? Yeah, what do I do? and And then the bad story goes around sulking and you know is love enough Is love enough for a relationship and ask her and I looked each other is love enough?
Starting point is 00:01:59 Yeah, yeah, love is enough Did anybody know anybody with eyeballs? I used to have a cousin with eyeballs. I had a cousin. He died of a tragic eyeball accident. He died, I related to. He had a throat. Yeah, he had a throat.
Starting point is 00:02:17 What? This is piggybacking. Now we're piggybacking. Now we've got four little four people are literally on top of each other, humping each other. Your son's best friend. Yes, I call this circle jerking I'm seeing a bunch of souls sitting around whacking each other off. Does anybody know about it? Does anybody into circle jerking? They tragically died young. Yeah, I'm for their time
Starting point is 00:02:46 Which is anybody before anybody younger than the age of 110? Yeah. I consider young before 150 years old. Anybody? Anybody? The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah. Now. Now. Yeah. Ah, now, now.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Now. As my son would say, Da-da, now. Oh. He loves the song too. He just runs around the house. Data. Now.
Starting point is 00:03:18 Yeah, son, you don't even know what that means. But that's how you live your life. I want it now. I want it now. I need it now. I'll have it now. That's the whole culture. My poor kid. Yeah, Metias is like, well, that's all over the place.
Starting point is 00:03:31 On demand. On demand. I think I broke a rib. Oh, you told me this the other day. I was like, what? I mean, I don't know if I broke it or I just got a bruise. I'm picturing all things that could have gone wrong, you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Something you were being a handyman up on the ladder You fell Matthias you were chasing Matthias fell at all and bump falling got into a car accident something like that Yeah, but no, I went to the massage I went to the spa the girl gave me a little too much love on that back That is a deep tissue About massage. Hey, I'm Brian. This is Chris. We have a massage. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Well, when I went to the massage, I like the deep tissue because I, I don't have a great back. It's always kinda twisted out of place. I have some legitimate problems with my back. And so I feel like massaging is one of those things that I do to stay healthy and feel good, right? And I get the deep tissue because I want them
Starting point is 00:04:23 to work out those tight knots. And so even though I know it hurts sometimes, I? And I get the deep tissue because I want them to work out those tight knots. And so even though I know it hurts sometimes, I feel like I'm, it hurts so good. It hurts so good. That's correct. It's gonna do something good. As the cougar says. Yeah. Caramel.
Starting point is 00:04:37 And so she dug that elbow in, man, I'll tell you what. And then about 30 minutes after the massage, I just thought honestly that it was, she had just kind of dug into the muscle and I was feeling it a little bit. But then 30 minutes afterwards, I started having you what, and then about 30 minutes after the massage, I just thought honestly that it was, you had just kind of dug into the muscle and I was feeling it a little bit, but then 30 minutes afterwards, I started having pain when I was breathing, and not like on the ins,
Starting point is 00:04:53 not like when you could touch it and it was painful, but it was like the inside of the rib, you can feel it inside. And I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I bet you cracked that rib, but over the last couple of days I felt a little bit better.
Starting point is 00:05:05 So I actually got, I think it was an actual cracked rib. I probably would have consistent pain when I was breathing, because I've had a broken rib before. But, can you do anything for a broken rib? You just have to let it heal. You could drink bleach. That's what I've heard.
Starting point is 00:05:19 I drink an ace bandage and a hot towel. And if you drink those two things together, that's right, in some proxide, it'll literally go down there and heal itself. Yeah. So just remember that, all your kids out there and never, never land, believing all the bullshit. You too can fix yourself by just drinking the thing
Starting point is 00:05:40 that would fix you. That's how it works. Who does? We'll get back to you on how it is. You watch the Bachelor of the other night. I did. What about it? How about that ending?
Starting point is 00:05:48 I was in here doing edits, but Astrid was like, you got to come watch the end of this. Yeah. And so I watched the very end. I predicted early on that he was gonna... Well, it was really after the Chris Harrison thing. I kind of thought,
Starting point is 00:05:58 hmm, he's really defending her. He is. And she's unimportant than... But she turned out to be important. She won. she won. Yeah, and but then he dumped her I just don't get out. Yeah, I don't well spoil our fucking cares He didn't watch even watch if you're new please yeah, spoiler not that kind of show Where else we're like yeah, we're spoilers Bachelor you know bachelor castcom or whatever it is. So listen, this girl has this,
Starting point is 00:06:27 goes to this racist party down in southern Georgia, southern, which is a college out in the middle of middle of village, George nowhere, Georgia, right? But it's a large school. Georgia, something's a large school. There's like 50,000 students in the middle of fucking nowhere, right? In the middle of deep south plantation, Georgia, and she goes to a plantation party in case those of you didn't hear the story
Starting point is 00:06:46 It's been all over the news. I can't imagine you haven't heard it. So Then Chris Harrison who's been the you know kind of for Lauren host of the bachelor since day one and all he 20 seasons all the guys got to do is show up and say this is the final rose I like you. Yeah, that's it. And occasionally he has to have like a pretty non shawant talk with people like with this. Well, this happened on the finale. I was laughing about it too,
Starting point is 00:07:13 because he, the, the bachelor, I can't remember his name right? Chad. I don't know Trevor. I don't know. Yeah. I told something. Anyways, he sat down and was talking to Chris. And Chris said nothing, just nodded his head.
Starting point is 00:07:27 And then the individual bachelor goes, I'm so glad we had this talk. I'm so glad we had this talk. I was like, what did Chris contribute to that song? Chris doesn't do anything. He's like a good psychiatrist. They never say anything useful. How do you feel about it?
Starting point is 00:07:41 Well, how do you feel about it? You can't ask a psychologist like a direct question because then they just turn it back around. And you're like, so what do you think? Should I break up with her? And like, what do you feel about it? Well, how do you feel about it? You can't ask a psychologist like a direct question because then they just turn it back around and you're like, so what do you think? Should I break up with her and like, what do you think? What do you think? Well, if I knew, I would have come to you. I think I need someone to tell me.
Starting point is 00:07:53 That's right, to which then they point out that the answers are all inside. You just have to, we'd have just hear them out. Look inside your ace bandage. Okay, yeah, and look inside your ace bandage. Turn your head inside of your mouth and down inside of your stomach. So Chris has this big long conversation with the bachelor to which Chris says nothing except for nodding is that you're right, nods his head and says, this is a tough one.
Starting point is 00:08:16 I feel for you, man. You know, it's like that good friend that you hate to talk to because they say shit. They're always like, I hear what you're saying. I'm holding space for you. I don't want to say it all space for me. I just answer my fucking question. Tell me what to do. What do I do?
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah, what do I do? And then the bachelor goes around sulking and you know, is love enough. Is love enough for a relationship? And Asher and I looked at each other, is love enough? Yeah. That's the fucking question. Yeah, love is enough. enough? That's the fuck kind of question. Is it?
Starting point is 00:08:45 Yeah, love is enough. Yes. That's the foundation. That's the foundation. And then you work from there. I understand, you know, you've been bippin' and bopping around 20 different women and, you know, you, you, you, now you got to make a decision on one.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Yeah. But 20, so this, so unbeknownst to anybody while this is being filmed, somebody uncovers this picture of this girl at this, what they call plantation party, where there's, you know, rebel flags in the whole nine yards. It's, I can't feather it flag, excuse me, that rebel flag is not Star Wars. There's confederate flags and, you know.
Starting point is 00:09:14 And so, they were dressed in Antibels. Charging into a set. Yeah. So that looks like adipred plantation too. Yeah, it looked pretty bad. I gotta say, it looked pretty bad. And I, in, anyway, I don't wanna get into the, I don't wanna rehash the whole thing,
Starting point is 00:09:25 but here's the point. Chris Harrison then goes on another show, like Inside Edition or whatever. No, it was a former Bachelor Red show. Oh, yeah, but it was like, She was a host and she was a big fan. She says Hollywood or something, yeah. And they have this whole conversation
Starting point is 00:09:39 and then Chris kinda defends the girl, which he shouldn't have done. Because he has said nothing in 20 seasons of the Bachelor. And then he's bound with the time to speak up. Isn't that interesting? Isn't that interesting? The one time he decides to speak up, he opens his mouth in the exact wrong way.
Starting point is 00:09:54 He did not take the temperature in the room correctly, or he just doesn't see things the way that most people see them. And so then Chris goes on to Maya Copa Tours saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I want to be the Bachelor. And he hangs out with a bunch of black people and then, you know, he has these conversations and they're all like, yeah, I vouch for Chris,
Starting point is 00:10:10 he's a good guy, right? But no one's really buying it because this is just, he's just trying to save his job or in this $10 million a year for saying nothing. And so now he's not going to be the host of the bachelor. It's official, he's not, he's out. Well, he's at least not these next two seasons. He's not gonna be able to be.
Starting point is 00:10:24 I thought that he was taking a break, which is kind of the same as like, I'm going to work on myself. Yeah, but here's the thing. I don't think you're really going to rehab. Yeah, he's really going to rehab. Yeah. He's going to rehab. We're going to find out he's got a bad drug problem, a gambling addiction. He's been with strippers and hookers and stuff like that. He's going to be like the tiger woods of the bachelor. Yeah. But anyway, so, so then, okay, so just to mention, this is an African-American gentleman who is on the first bachelor who is African-American. And this white girl that caused all this stink, he happens to pick her on the show. Now mind you, this all got filmed before any of this happened. So, So now the whole thing is you're supposed to get engaged
Starting point is 00:11:06 to the girl or the guy at the end. Well, he mulls over this decision and winds and complains and then he gets up there and he says, I can't ask you to marry me. But I still want to be with you. And then two seconds later, after the Rose show, which is like a post show, he says, I don't want to be with you.
Starting point is 00:11:23 He's like, I don't want to be with you. And be with you. He's like, I don't wanna be with you. And I understand why. It's like, you know, maybe he just, like he genuinely feels like the person that he was with is not being 100% honest with him. But yeah, listen. That's that. It when you, when he didn't ask her to get engaged
Starting point is 00:11:43 when he was mulling it over and he said, is love enough like three times? I was like, man, love is enough. It's struggling. Yeah. You don't get it. The love is definitely love again. It's the foundation.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Love is a foundation of everything, dude. But I get it. He had his mom and dad had a rough go of it or whatever. And you know, when you come from broken home, it's sometimes it's hard to get your wrap your head around which you're gonna, how you're gonna act in a relationship because you have no like, there's no like template. That's what therapy is for.
Starting point is 00:12:11 But man, that guy is good looking. Betterhelp.com. Betterhelp.com, not our sponsor today, but free plug for you. And but man, that guy, kid is good looking, huh? Yeah. The bachelor? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:23 He's a good looking guy. They only pick the people. Oh, wee, shit. Mm-hmm. Love you, man. He grew a big beard out too. Yeah, what did you think about that? Do you like that?
Starting point is 00:12:32 I think it looks sexy. Yeah. Why? Chrissy's not to try. Hey, you didn't like that white girl. Do you like this white girl? Never been to a plantation party. Never once.
Starting point is 00:12:45 I was watching television as I often do. Oh, let me say this. Go to tcbpodcast.com if you want to hear if you want to hear any of our episodes, watch any of our episodes on YouTube. Learn more about Chrissy and I read the show notes. That's tcbpodcast.com, 470-584-8449 is where you can text us or leave us a message,
Starting point is 00:13:02 standard text messaging rates do apply at the commercial break on Instagram. We certainly appreciate everyone who's jumped on our Instagram account lately. Keep it going. Keep it going. And we're gonna be in Clubhouse recording live in the commercial break club.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Now, if you're not in the commercial, if you're not in the clubhouse ecosystem, you can DM us on our commercial break Instagram account. And we may have a few invites left over. So first come first serve, but if you want an invite and you're on an iPhone because it's iPhone only right now, then let us know and possibly we can send you an invite and then you can go follow me at Brian Green BRY-A-N-G-R-E-N or at TCB-Crissey-K-R-I-S-S-Y. And then we'll direct you to get into the commercial break club where we're gonna be doing all kind of different content
Starting point is 00:13:45 inside of that club for the commercial break related stuff. Including recording shows live inside of clubhouse. But you have to be a member of the club or following one of us in order to be participating that. So, you know, if you're not in the clubhouse game yet, you better get in the clubhouse game. It's a thing. It's a thing and everyone loves it.
Starting point is 00:14:06 And I'm not gonna explain it now because I've explained it a million times, but it's an audio platform. Just go figure it out yourself. Yeah, Google it. Let's talk psychics. Ooh. Because I was watching. I know you were gonna say that.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, Chrissy's on it Chrissy is on it. So let's talk I just died
Starting point is 00:14:30 Teresa Caputa. Oh Lord. I know I know but I but I got to talk about this because I feel like it were However many episodes in and I haven't done psychics yet. We haven't talked about psychics Yeah, I feel so strongly about this now if it sounds like I'm opinionated about this, I'm fucking opinionated about this. Let me explain something, right out of the gate, so I don't offend people too badly. It's not that I don't believe that there's a universal energy
Starting point is 00:14:56 and that it's within the realm of possibility that that energy is floating around in all different manner shapes and sizes, or no shapes and sizes. I don't know, right? I believe in it. I believe in a thing. I believe in a thing. Energy field.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Energy field. And when you die, I don't know what happens that energy. I really don't. And I'm not gonna sit around and guess cause it just makes me crazy. But I do know one thing. If that energy field could walk and talk as if you were still here, they would not be messaging you through some shit bag that charges you $400 to watch it happen.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Okay. This lady, Teresa Caputo, Teresa fucking Caputo does not have a satellite dish on the back of her head where your dead relatives can go through the back and out the front the entire time while she's talking. Teresa Caputo is a con artist is what she is. She is a con artist that is hurting people in their most vulnerable of moments. She is taking advantage of their vulnerability. If you lose someone that's close to you or something bad happens or you really want to
Starting point is 00:16:02 talk to somebody and tell them what you meant to say, I can only imagine, because I've been there in some cases, that this would be the most desperate of situations for you. And that you would want to believe it. Yeah, you would do anything to get back to that one more time. Am I right? Yes. Okay. Some people, for whatever reason, believe that Teresa Caputo, with the 10-foot tall hair
Starting point is 00:16:29 and the Lee Press on F***ing Nails and the three feet of makeup on her face, is the person that the universe has chosen to deliver this message. And it's a bunch of horse shit. Teresa Caputo is playing a game with people's emotions and it's a well-organized game. She's not stupid. She's just a con artist, but she cannot talk to dead people. I can guarantee you this. She says that when she was a child, she had an experience and she started seeing spirits
Starting point is 00:16:58 all around her. And they float around her 24 hours a day and they come in and out of her head and they talk to her. And amazingly, she they talk to her and amazingly she can talk to you while they're talking to her. I can barely chew gum and walk at the same time. But this lady can hear 17 different spirits talking to her, figure out which person in the crowd that has to do it and then literally say what they're saying to you. And they're always saying the same thing, which is fucking nothing. Yeah, it's generalized. That's it.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Let me explain to you how Teresa works because I know this because I've done some research. You take a room full of 100 willing participants that really want to believe that something's going on that Teresa is actually part of the game. Part of the game is you have to believe. She will find the people who believe based on their body language, right? People who are already crying, people who are, when she says, I see somebody with died of a throat something, right? And they put their hand up and then put it down and put it up and put it down
Starting point is 00:18:01 because they really wanted to be their dead one, right? Now she's seeing the people in the crowd who are believers already, right? But it's more insidious than that because when you go to a Teresa Caputo show and you pay to be in the say the first 20 rows or 10 rows, you have to give your name, your email address and your address. Oh. If you think for one second that Teresa Caputo is going in blind, you're wrong. You know why her hair is 10 feet tall because she has a audio device in the back of her hair. And she's curing her producers, talked to her the entire time.
Starting point is 00:18:37 Mm hmm. Row number three. That's Judy. I just saw on Judy's Facebook post that she's really broken up over her dead father. Father died of throat cancer. Fah, bah, bah. And all of this sudden, it comes to her. The spirits are floating on in, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:55 I see something with a throat, a father. I'm sensing a father with a throat. And then, oh, it's me, oh, it's me. I don't blame the person. Because the person really just wants to hear what this father had to say. I forgot to tell him I love him. He was mean to me.
Starting point is 00:19:09 We tried to repair a relationship. It didn't work out. I'm really sad over it. And Teresa zones in. And now she's got a willing sucker, right? And when that person and Teresa connect, Teresa then uses a game called Assumption. You could assume that if you say three things
Starting point is 00:19:31 that are so general and so broad, like did your father, the type of person who was cold, didn't really connect emotionally? How, if you're of a certain age, how many people would not answer that question? Yes. Probably 90% of the people over the age of 50 years old, who then father was, you know,
Starting point is 00:19:54 we're going back 100 years now, right? Would say that my father was cold because everybody's father was cold back then. Right. Right? It doesn't take a genius to figure that out, but it seems like a miracle to the person she's talking to and maybe to some people in the audience. Yeah, they're they're open. Right to it. They're receptive. That's right. And to the feeding.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Your father is telling me that he knows you have guilt over things that were unsaid. Is this do you recognize this? Do you hear what I'm saying? Yeah. My God. My God. It's happening right here. We're just, it's unbelievable. So they will make me feel how they feel, how they die. Oh, Teresa, you're amazing. You're just amazing. You now, spirits. Teresa will claim that there are multiple spirits in the room and that they are piggybacking off of each other, right?
Starting point is 00:20:39 So one person will say something and show moving one direction in the crowd. If it's cold on this side of the crowd, what she will call cold, this is an inside psychic terminology. If it's cold over here, she'll move over here to where it might be warm. And she'll start saying the same things. See, I don't understand always where they're coming from.
Starting point is 00:20:56 I they're not telling me names, but I just send something and this is called piggybacking. And now I'm piggybacking over here. I saw the throat thing, but now I'm seeing a chest thing. Is there someone with a chest thing? My son's best friend's uncle died of chest cancer. I didn't even know there was chest cancer, but yes, chest cancer. Yes, and she might have blue on, right? Or maybe she has a necklace or she sees an antique ring on.
Starting point is 00:21:20 Oh, is this ring, is this something special that your father gave you? How did you know it's been in the family for you? My father didn't give it to me, but it's been in the family for years and it really meant a lot and he liked this ring very much. See, ah, Teresa.
Starting point is 00:21:32 And by being a person who speaks, if she senses that something is going wrong, she will speak at you and speak over you so that she rolls over any kind of dismissing. She knows that she's got to be 100% in control of what's going on or it goes sideways real quick and by being loud and obnoxious and what people perceive as friendly, then Teresa gets to do all of these things. She's cultivated her personality and her technology and her bullshit to work a room like nobody else. But the truth is that Teresa fails a lot.
Starting point is 00:22:07 There are a lot of people online who have been to her live shows where they explain just how fake this whole thing is. Yes. Many people. Not to mention, people like Anderson Cooper have had her on and other people where she's just flat out failed. Does wrong. Yeah, she's just wrong, right?
Starting point is 00:22:25 She's just wrong and the crowd goes cold and there's nothing she can do to bring it back. Sometimes there's a room full of people who she doesn't connect with. And Teresa just, and the thing is, is that while Teresa continues to be wrong and wrong and wrong, and if you watch her television show and you see these celebrities and you see these people that are so amazed by all these readings, do you think for one second Teresa Caputo is coming to your house, not knowing a fucking thing about you? Do you think for one second that Teresa Caputo walks into an ice cream parlor and starts doing a reading with someone she knows nothing about?
Starting point is 00:22:56 No, her producers go in there two days earlier. Maybe her producer is a young attractive woman and there's a guy behind the counter and they get to know each other a little bit and they exchange Facebook information and Instagram information and then guess what? That was a production assistant for Teresa and and then they find out all the information about him They give it to Lisa and lo and behold she walks into the same ice cream shop. Yes, correct It's all fucking bullshit. It's a well-organized and oil oiled machine. Teresa Caputo does not speak to dead people. She takes money from living people and she takes advantage of them right there for her own gain and her own profit. And I fucking can't stand it. It drives me fucking crazy because I see how much these people are hurting. And she's tearing them apart
Starting point is 00:23:38 even further. She's giving them false hope that something's happening, that's not happening. She's saying things on behalf of dead people that they may have never said themselves. Some people might argue, well, at least, you know, she's making people feel better. Comforted. No, you're retraumatizing them. And then for years and years and years, they're always going to wonder whether or not that was their father that was speaking to them. And when is he coming back? And when is he going to speak again? When is this going to happen again? And then they're going to go spend more money with more psychics that make it happen again. And guess what? It's a vicious cycle that probably never ends for most people and they keep getting retraumatized.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Death sucks because it leaves people behind and you don't oftentimes have a chance to say the last thing that you want to say to them. Yeah, work every single thing out. That's right. I mean, come on, there's not a movie, right? But she dives it all up neatly in a bow and then you move on to private planes and fancy restaurants, right?
Starting point is 00:24:32 So I just plathered on and I hope you understand how I feel. Do you get where I'm coming from? I do. Okay, so I thought that I would put together just a few examples of psychic fails. What do you think? Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:47 You want to hear? Okay. First let's hear Teresa. I think this is on the Regis and Kelly show. If I'm not mistaken, let me see here. Yeah, I think it's the Regis and Kelly show. Does somebody mention it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:57 You know, it's interesting. Whenever I'm in a room, no matter where I am, I always sense and feel things. It's when Spirit pushes me enough to say something. Right. So, two souls actually stepped forward as. Amazing. Two souls stepped forward right there, right on cue. Right when she needed them too.
Starting point is 00:25:12 When we started to come back from break. Well, exactly when we started to come back from break, Teresa's amazing. This is amazing. These spirits, they just, they know when we're coming back from commercial, we're coming back from commercial time. We're up. We're up. We're up. We're up. Hey, this is our big moment Bob. It's Jerry Garcia and
Starting point is 00:25:31 Bob Marley hanging out. This is our big moment. We're on Reedus and Kelly. But I am going to start with well I have to start with because he's laboring my breathing so much because what happens is I feel the energy I feel the souls so they will make me feel how they feel, how they died. So, okay. So, oh my God, this is such a bowl, okay, okay, okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, listen to her. She's not, she's not giving a moment of breath here. She needs to control the situation,
Starting point is 00:25:57 so the harder that she thought, it's just like me on this, it's just like me on the commercial break. I'm gonna start my secrets out. I want to start with Father figure that departed from the chest because he's laboring my breath. How many fathers have died of heart attacks? Yeah, it's a thing.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Yeah, just. It's done. If you have a room full of 100 people, there's 50, if you have a room full of 100 people whose fathers have died 50 of them died of heart attack. Guarantee. It's the number one cause of death and males. Yes. And there's some type of restriction.
Starting point is 00:26:28 And then he just... Oh, that's what happens. Oh my God, my father had a heart attack. And he was like clenching his chest. That's what they said last minute. It's a restriction. It just tells me that he died suddenly. Most people die suddenly, by the way,
Starting point is 00:26:39 Teresa, just letting you know. Yes. There's a family right there. Is it, was there also the husband that also deported? Okay, see, because what happened? Oh, now listen to this. Did nobody said anything?
Starting point is 00:26:51 Nobody said anything, right? Okay, so nobody said anything, or she sensed that the person who was raising their hand was not a willing participant. They weren't a believer. They just kind of went, I guess, that kind of, you know, it was a cold. It was cold.
Starting point is 00:27:03 So now she says, is there a husband that's departed in a room full of 500 people in a studio audience, right? How many do you, don't you think there's at least one, maybe two, maybe six, husband that have departed? But as soon as I connected to the area, they all started stepping, stepping forward. So we have the father and we also have the husband. This is what I refer to as piggybacking. This is why this is what I refer to as bullshit This is what I refer to as scrambling
Starting point is 00:27:33 It is very very powerful when you attend one of my live shows or just watching long Island medium where spirit will have me say things that you can connect with Okay, I don't even know what you just I don't even know what you just said. I don't even know what you just said. But what you did do is you plugged your show. Exactly, tune in. And long island meeting. Yeah. When you see me, a bullshitting on those two shows, this is what's happening.
Starting point is 00:27:53 It's called piggybacking. What a fucking piggyback you. Fucking. So how do you understand the father figure? Okay, and then we're gonna go, we'll be here as well. And we're gonna go over here because I don't like you. Right? Because I don't sense that you're 100% you're not connecting with me. You're not gonna believe all the bullshit that I'm about to tell you.
Starting point is 00:28:12 So I'm moving over here. This is what she's doing. She's finding. She's moving through the crowd trying to find the right person, the right stool pigeon. So if you could, if you and your husband too. So we're gonna kind of all piggyback it together. Oh, there were two things. One of them told me that, did he like die in front of you? Or did you, did you want to, because he, I just, did he die in front of you? Or did you want him to die in front of you? She's, this is where she's going. Ready? Did he die in front of you? Or did you, he's, yes, she's asking a series of questions, and they're all very broad,
Starting point is 00:28:45 because eventually she's gonna hit on something, right? This is what she's good at, not listening to fucking spirits in the back of her head, but figuring out a series, yeah, reading people, getting a series of questions. This is what all these psychics do. And they're, and listen, she's getting it wrong constantly. What you, at home, who may believe in some of this stuff,
Starting point is 00:29:04 or Teresa Caputo, I'm not saying this doesn't happen. I'm saying Teresa Caputo is not the person who the universe has chosen to give these messages. You're probably gonna hear it in some fucking, you know, wild Elis Drea, Elis Drea, Ayahuasca trip somewhere, not with Teresa Caputo at Kelly and Regis live on command as we come back from the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Die. And then I was like, there was no time. And I feel like if I- I was like, there was no time. I wish I had more time with this person who just died. Of course you do, you fucking moron. I reacted sooner. I could have saved him.
Starting point is 00:29:37 I would have been able to do more if I only knew. Grieving should be good, a positive way of healing. Not to go back and be with this should have could have would have, and this only if should of could of would of, and this only if that I could of saved him. Do you understand that? Or even if we went to the doctor, is this your grandfather that departed?
Starting point is 00:29:53 Do you see him and you feel him a lot? So know that that's real sweet heart, don't be afraid. Oh my God, you're telling children this. Know that that's real, your grandfather's right there. He's hanging out right behind me. He's literally in my hair. I've got him stuck in my hair you see this hair it's just like a catch for the spirits that's what it does this is fucking awful this is awful when you really realize what this woman is doing she is taking advantage of people at their most vulnerable moment it's fucked up
Starting point is 00:30:20 because he tells me that he tried to tell you that he's okay, right? And you see that he's happy when you feel him and when you see him, know that he's just letting you know that he is okay and you were just on some type of stage performing. Okay, so just know that he was watching you. So if you feel when you sit there and you say, he's missing out, he doesn't see me. This is the thing about spirit.
Starting point is 00:30:39 They acknowledge that things going on in our lives now to validate that they're not missing out. So no, because he tells me you also felt him when you performed. So know that what you feel, know that that's true. She wants to believe this. She probably doesn't feel any of this stuff. Also now this girl, if she found her mark,
Starting point is 00:30:55 she's crying, she's upset. She's hearing what she's hearing, right? It's obvious that she's in dancer because what you don't see is that she's in a dancing outfit, right? She's got like the ballet pants on, she got her hair done up in a bun, right? She's obviously a dancer and the shirt, the t-shirt says, blah, blah, blah dance company. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:12 So what may sound like a convincing argument is not a convincing argument at all. And what she's telling this girl, this girl probably doesn't even have time to react to what she's saying. She's saying, you sent your grandfather's there with you during the performance, right? Oh, yes, I guess. Yeah. Is he? Yes, he is. Of course he is. Now I'm just going to talk faster so you don't forget what I said.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Do you understand what I'm saying? Yes, you do. Of course you do. And she'll bob her head up and down. It's all the power of suggestion. It's just saying out that they know of all of your milestones that you achieve here in the physical world. Your father keeps telling me no regrets, no regrets. He's holding the hand. Do you understand that? Are you holding his hand as he... He's holding a hand. Have you ever hold his hand? Have you ever held your father's hand? Do you remember your hand? Do your father have a hand? What's there a hand? Is there an arm?
Starting point is 00:31:56 I'm sensing an arm in a brain and a car? Do you remember the car? Is there a car in the mix? What about a flower? Have you ever seen grass? How about a grass? What about a mustache? Do you know about a mustache? How about a nose? Do you have my glasses? Yes, yes, yes, yes, see see see see I'm connecting I'm connecting I'm making it happen Don't you believe me look at all these people don't believe me but Waiting for that wig to pop directly off her fucking head. I make this I make this Promise to you to Risa Caputo. I have a friend who passed away a number of years ago long Theresa Caputo. I have a friend who passed away a number of years ago.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Long, not would say long, but long before Facebook was a thing that we did all together all the time at every time. She passed away, you know this friend. She passed away suddenly without notice. And her and I used to call each other a name, a fun name. And I will never, I don't think I've ever used that name for anybody before.
Starting point is 00:32:42 And I had never used that name for anybody since. And I know that it's not on Facebook or anything anywhere. If you can come in this place, connect with that person and tell me what name that we used to call each other, you can tell me that name. I will give you free advertising on the commercial break for the rest of your life.
Starting point is 00:32:59 And my myocopacopa to you will be every time I open up this microphone. I'm sorry to reach the Caputo is real. That's it. But you know what? You will never take me up on that offer because you cannot do it and it doesn't exist. You're just a bunch of fucking horse shit.
Starting point is 00:33:13 You drive me crazy. I'm sorry to get so serious. I know we always laugh about the show. Let's continue here just for a second. We're gonna do a possible say-ons later. We're gonna do a say-ons. There's gonna be a part two to this episode. I'm just getting started. I've got a bunch of clips of other
Starting point is 00:33:26 psychics. We've got a Weezy Borg. We've got a Weezy Borg on the way and we're gonna do a say-outs and we're gonna raise the the we're gonna raise my dead dog. Nico the smelly goes Nico the smelly Departed? No, I found him dead. I was talking to my teeth, I suddenly. And G.U. did you feel his soul? Because what happens is when spirit, when they made me, he made me feel the holding of the hand and I got the chill throughout my body.
Starting point is 00:33:56 That is my symbol for that. You feel his soul, you feel him. Know that that truly is him. And he goes, tell her I'm still the best dresser. So he came forward all dressed in all like dapper Dan. So if he was a very, I'm sorry. This name's Dan. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:34:11 To validate that his soul is a piece but more importantly, that you could not have done anything. This is the thing, this is why I do what I do. It took me a long time to embrace my gift because I didn't realize people are left with burdens and guilt, these should have could have wooded. And I can make money off of that. So that's why I embrace my guilt. Don't stop living because you're loved one departed.
Starting point is 00:34:30 I know it's hard, but we need to continue with life. I want to talk about the young man that departed from the tragedy. The young man that departed from the tragedy? When a young man departs from the tragedy, but listen to this, no one speaks up and now listen to how she pivots. Ready? Because she knows, she just missed it.
Starting point is 00:34:50 Now I sense that there is a production assistant in the audience and as they're all walking in, they say Teresa Cabuto is gonna be on the show today. If you'd like to sign up for our email list, we'll send you free stuff, maybe we'll give you free tickets to the live show if they come in, just sign this form right here. And that may have been how she knew
Starting point is 00:35:06 that this guy's name was Dan. She didn't know his name was Dan. She called him Dapper Dan, which is a reference to a man who dresses nicely. It's not a specific proper name. I think either it was just lucky that his name was Dan or somebody in the production assistant now listen. How she misses this one, but listen to how she says,
Starting point is 00:35:24 she says, I'm sensing the young man that died because of a tragedy when any young person dies. It's a fucking tragedy. But she's got people on the roll now. She's warming up some of the crowd. Do you understand? Do you understand? Do you have a nose? Do you have ears? Did he have teeth? Did he have teeth? I'm sensing someone who had teeth. Does this sound familiar to anybody? Someone whose name started with the letters A through X. No, no. Does anybody know what paper is?
Starting point is 00:35:58 Paper. Did your husband know what paper was? I'm sensing a husband who used paper. I'm sensing a wife who used to like food. Food. You went to restaurants. Is that some familiar? You guys used to do that. You guys used to do that together. I'm seeing a four-wheeled vehicle that you would ride in together. A car? Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Yes. Yes. We had a car. We had a car. Was that car a color? Yes, it was. Which color? Purple.
Starting point is 00:36:38 I'm sensing a purple car. It's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I am sensing a young man who had a chin. Is there anybody know about a young man with a chin?
Starting point is 00:36:54 Listen to how she pivots. Ready? She didn't, her production assistant probably told her, a young man died of tragedy, saw it on a Facebook, but no one's hitting on it, and then she says this. I want to talk about the restriction of the throat. So we either pass them something on the restriction of the throat,
Starting point is 00:37:07 or there was something that he digested. Do we? Do you understand that? They're telling me to come over here. Listen. Young male for me is anyone that left the physical world before we feel their time. Ah! Young man is a person for me is anyone that left the physical world before we feel their time
Starting point is 00:37:32 Young man is a person for me that left them this field before their time Which dead person that you know left at their time? I mean I realized yeah There's a couple people like in their 90s when you go. Oh, you lived a good life right? But if even if you're in your 50s or 60s, you go, man, that's young. They left before their time. Yeah. They didn't have time to live out there. That's right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:50 So you've got this satellite dish in this hair net that's catching all these souls in the back of your head. But you can't tell how old they are. You're just saying anybody that left before their time, what a bunch of fucking horse shit, Teresa. Yeah. OK. How do you understand that, man? Listen. bunch of fucking horse shit Teresa. Yeah. Okay. How do you understand that, man?
Starting point is 00:38:07 Listen, listen to this. So I just asked best friend. Can you stand up, please? My son's best friend. I mean, if we start working backwards, I can probably find out the same people too. Layers of Kevin Bacon, right? Did anybody know anybody with eyeballs?
Starting point is 00:38:25 I used to have a cousin with eyeballs. I had a cousin. He died of a tragic eyeball accident. He died. I really did. He had a throat. Yeah, he had a throat. What?
Starting point is 00:38:37 This is piggybacking. Now we're piggybacking. Now we've got four little four people are literally on top of each other, humping each other. Your son's best friend? Yes. I call this circle jerking. I'm seeing a bunch of souls sitting around whacking each
Starting point is 00:38:52 other off. Does anybody know about it? Does anybody into circle jerking? They tragically died young. Yeah. I'm for their time. Which is anybody before anybody younger than the age of 110. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:08 I consider, I consider young before 150 years old. Anybody, anybody. And then the whole room opens up because now I know a guy, I know a guy, I got a guy. There's a guy. He had a throat, a car. Donnie fixed my garage door. He died about six years ago. And a terrible throat related accident. And, hmm, Donnie's telling you, don't worry about, don't worry about the bill.
Starting point is 00:39:35 You forgot to pay him. Everything's fine. You didn't pay the tax on that bill. That $22 is to low him. Don't worry about it. He says, live your life Or or conversely he says you owe him $22 give it to me I'll throw it in the back of my hair net. I call this piggy banking Thank you. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not.
Starting point is 00:40:05 That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not.
Starting point is 00:40:11 That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not.
Starting point is 00:40:18 That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. Oh, listen. I've got like, I've got hours of this. Chrissy, I know we can't spend, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:26 we gotta keep it to a certain minimum here, maximum here, but I've got so much more that, you know what we're gonna do? We'll do part two of psychics. We'll do it next week if you come back and join us. Maybe we'll do it Tuesday, maybe we'll do it Friday, but we'll definitely do it. Cause I've got so much more good material. And that's what we'll do the sounds as well. Yeah, we'll do it Tuesday, maybe we'll do it Friday, but we'll definitely do it. Cause I've got so much more good material.
Starting point is 00:40:45 And that's when we'll do the sound as well. Yeah, we'll do the sound. So stay tuned for part two, and we'll get to that. Because I've just got like another 16 clips that I could play and we could run through and of different psychics too, because she's not the only one that's got to. This has been going on forever, right?
Starting point is 00:41:00 Yes. From Sylvia Brown to, you know. There's a guy that I've seen too on TV. Yeah, Ross, whatever his name is. Something. And then there's the new guy who's the Hollywood whiz kid of. Yeah, that's the guy I think I've seen. Yeah, and they've already called him out
Starting point is 00:41:15 a bunch of times for a bunch of different shit. Listen, this day and age, it's easier to be a psychic than ever because you have so much of an attitude about you on the line. Yeah. Like Lexus, Nexus knows what you bought with your credit card three seconds ago. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:29 And by the way, you can get a Lexus Nexus account if you pay them enough money. And Teresa probably has that kind of money. So if you pay them 100 grand, you can figure out what people are up to real quick. And so you run them through a database, you can go online and find out so much about everybody's these days.
Starting point is 00:41:44 And if you're willing to pay for that information, then you're in a whole other world. And don't tell me that I mean, Teresa is making a shit ton of money. And next week, you know what, I'll share with you how she's making additional income on her Instagram. Oh, okay. Hocking and peddling bullshit.
Starting point is 00:42:02 Nice. Right? It's completely unrelated to spirits and ghosts. Unless of course spirits or ghosts can wear press on nails like she does. Unbelievable. TCPpodcast.com, that's TCPpodcast.com is where you go. You can read all the show notes.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Find out more about Chrissy and I and watch our entire library or listen to it if that's what you choose to do. Please do us a favor. Like, rate us and review us on your favorite podcast application. It really does help. How it helps, I'm not really sure, it changes the algorithm or something, but we've gotten some really nice comments and reviews over the last couple of weeks, and if you keep those coming, that would be awesome. So whichever platform you choose to listen to us on, whether that be Apple or overcast, CastBox or Spotify, if you could leave us a
Starting point is 00:42:40 review, that certainly would be a great thing. Or you can go our YouTube account and just leave us hate comments. Yes. We'll take this too. We're gathering a string of those altogether too. Thank you. I figure if you're hating this. It's a Russian bot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:54 It's a Russian wife bot is what it is. That's what I like to think it is. At the commercial break on Instagram and remember, if you want to be a part of what's going on in Clubhouse with the commercial break at Brian Green, B-, ANG, or EEN, or at TCB Chrissy, that's TCBKRISS, why you can join the commercial break club and you'll be notified about all the live shows. We're gonna do in all the extra great content
Starting point is 00:43:17 that's coming your way on Clubhouse. It really is a great app. If you need an invitation, let us know. We will try and get you one. I personally have a couple of them. I do too. I've got like seven of them, I think, stacked up there. So if you need an invitation. Let us know. We will try and get you one. I personally have a couple of them. I've got like seven of them. I think stacked up there. So if you need an invitation, just DM us on Instagram. We'll give you an invitation. I mean, what? Yes. Just promise not to stalk me. It's gonna be hard. Okay. Until next time, this is the ghost of Brian and
Starting point is 00:43:40 Chrissy. I love you. I love you, Brian. Until next time. Do you know somebody loves you? Do you know somebody who ever did everything to you? Do you ever been in love? Do you ever say the word love? This word love. Do you have a nose?
Starting point is 00:43:54 Do you know somebody with hair? Did someone with hair die? Hair. You used to have hair? They used to have hair. Maybe they didn't have hair when they died, but they had hair at some point. Did you know anybody that was a baby?
Starting point is 00:44:04 Someone that was a baby. At one point in their life, anything was a baby? Someone that was a baby. At one point in their life, they were a baby, a child. A child is anyone under 75 years old. That's how we do it in spirit world. Oh, bye! The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays, and now Fridays, new YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram and join the commercial break club on Clubhouse to join in live recordings. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley, with additional content provided by Tina Cano. you

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.