The Commercial Break - Don't Start Her On The Tartar

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

Hot sauces, dipping sauces and dressing are hotly debated! Do you, won't you? But wether slather your food in sauce or you go in dry, we can all agree tartar sauce is awful! TCB reviews a clip of a lady who eats 7 bottles of tartar sauce each week! Natalie writes in to ask TCB advice: To bed or not to bed...your best friend? Bryan reminds Krissy about his Eckart Tolle days Pete Davidson continues his epic run! What is Pete packing? Are dating apps getting the best this generation? Bryan makes a prediction about Tinder Do you like your wings wet or dry? Do you dip your food in sauces or go in dry? A lady eating 7 bottles of tartar sauces a week! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for MEN too! Watch Us on YouTube Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! 1.855.TCB.8383  or 661.BEST.2.YO (1-661-237-8296) Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Much Gratitude to Our Supportive Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff Check out Mempho Music Fest each October in Memphis TN: Memphofest.com Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Thanks For Reaching Out To TCB This Week! Roxanne Dave Sydney Natalie Stu C Therese Jake DAS Amanda Julie Charlene Dave T David L Sonny Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What are the features that you're bringing in? Well, I just look like I fuck. You know what I mean? I look like I fuck. And that's the vibe I like to put out there. Yeah. On this episode of The Commercial Break... Not since Warren Beatty has a string of hot ass

coming front of a man like this guy. This is amazing. I almost want to... If I didn't think it was so incredibly unbelievable, I'd want to root for the guy, I'd be like go dude, but once you reach Emily Radagowski, I think you pretty much topped them up. I don't know where else you go from there. Like, you can't get to know somebody over an app like you can over 12 to 15 Bud lights and a really long night of cocaine abuse at a bar.

That's eye-bubbing? Yeah, there's nothing that you can exchange that red. I'm just telling you. I mean, hell, when you got that Tottasauce running down your lips. You got that Tottasau, Tottasau. I like to put that Tottasau right on my Bing Bang and all the time.

Or it arouses me. Sometimes I just take Tottasauce and I wipe it all over my balls. She just put Tartar Salsana in fucking cocoa puff fruit. That's worse than the rain. That's way worse than the rain. I feel so much better about myself. Nothing makes me feel better about myself

than looking at other people worse off than me. I'm holding space for that. Yeah. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Hiya, Captain Tankins. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Frank Green. This is my dear friend, Anko. This is Kristen Joy. Holy best of you, Chrissy. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Wherever you are. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this! The commercial break!

Hey, it's not for everybody, but fact news are fiction, it's guaranteed in 15 seconds or less. Or your money back, go to the TCPpodcast.com website, to collect your earning! Which, I- I a little hiccup there, right? You did! That's a restart! That's okay, you do it so much, you know. I know.

You slip up everyone to wild, and we'll allow it. It's hard to remember a fucking paragraph opening page, That's okay, you do it so much. I know. You can flip up everyone to wild and we'll allow it. It's hard to remember a fucking paragraph opening page. I was going to, like in season four, I was ready to throw it all out. I just throw it all out and say welcome to the commercial break and just get into it. But then I got some feedback from some of our listeners and I'm like, are you fucking crazy? Don't do that, man. That's like the best part of the show. And I'm like, if that's the best part of the show.

Great. We are failing our objectives, making you laugh on a basis. Hey, I wanted to just share something that I got in the text message chain. I thought I would throw it out there. It's an ask TCB. And in the spirit of kind of knocking these things out as they come along, so we don't get all built up.

I got a text message from Natalie. And let me share it with you and then we can talk it through. It's an Ask T.C.B. They want our, she wants our advice, right? All right. Okay, so she says, Natalie says, I'm pansexual and I think pansexual means like,

you're into anything, it doesn't matter who you are. Yeah, it's neutral. Like I think you're just, the heart wants with the heart. The heart wants with the heart. The hot wants with the hot wants. I'm holding space for that. So, you know, let's put a pin in that and circle back around. Circle back and then leave it.

I acknowledge your perspective. All these stupid rhinos. I went through this period of like four years or I just, you couldn't talk to me. I acknowledge you with perspective! All these stupid Brianisms. I went through this period of like four years, where I just... You couldn't talk to me, I was just an asshole. But I thought I was at Cartole. I hate it. I was like...

A Wayne Dwyer. Let's hold space for that. Yeah, Wayne Dwyer. That's right. Dr. Brad's right. I had this friend. I had this friend. She was going through a really tough time with her husband. Husband was cheating on her.

And I was, of course, a fallback position. Of course. You know, when that's why every husband in the world hates me. But I swear I'm not sleeping with your wife. I'm just consoling her while she's sleeping with other people. She has this horrible relationship going on with her husband, and then her mother-in-law moved in, and the mother-in-law can't stop criticizing everything that she does with the child.

I'm so glad I don't have that. Me too, I don't have a horrible mother-in-law. I'm so glad that I get along with my parents. Very thankful, makes things loathe easy. Yeah, I don't know how I would do it. I don't know how I would do it. I don't know how I would do it. Yeah, both my marriages.

I've had rather relatively good experiences with the family members of my wife, it's both of them. So she's like, you know, this whole situation is getting really stressed out. And so during that period of time when I was sitting on a mountaintop, you know, meditating 20-fours a day in my mind.

I know, with my flowing, the rain for her. The furnace robe, yeah. With my flowing, the rain for it. The dirt is robe. Yeah. You get the bowl. My ex-boyfriend's called me the militant hippie. Um, I got a singing bowl. So I said to her, hey, listen, you want to put a stop

to all these arguments real quick? Sometimes she starts bitching at you. You say, I acknowledge your perspective and I'm holding space for that. Just walk out of the room. I'm just bringing up the 1950s PSA that says, what do you, stuff your feelings down? Don't share your feelings.

This is no time for feelings. Yeah. It's rude. It's no time for feelings, son. We're're here at the dinner table stuff those down in for 20 to 30 years. We'll talk about it in therapy The whole generation all fucked up because of those fucking films She says okay, so if she's pansexual and one of her besties we're back to that one of her besties is in love with her She says he's amazingly attractive and a great person but she's just scared so what she she do tcb so little a little color commentary here she's known for about six years

they do everything together uh... and he told me that he called feelings for me about two weeks ago and i haven't done anything with him since because i'm scared well i i forgot to, okay, so, she also says I look like Ryan Reynolds. Uh, can't forget that. I don't think I look at anything like Ryan Reynolds, but thank you for that, I'll take that.

I could say the resemblance. Can you? A little bit? Yeah. Only I don't have Blake Lively, I mean, I have a beautiful wife, but I'm married to Blake Lively. I have Blake Lively.

That's true, I do. The Venezuelan equivalent. That's right, I've got my Venezuelan lately. I don't have a soccer team, I don't own a phone company, I'm not in the liquor district. Oh, like a brand. Yeah, I mean these scoops. Why is Ryan Reynolds so fucking cool?

I don't know, he's a guy who was in all those cylinders. I know, he was a guy who always used to be. He was a horrible movies that everyone was like, ah, he's cute, but he's dumb. Yeah, he kinda went from one thing to the next and now he's the most stylish, best, like, fun guy who's in everything now and has this wonderful relationship. It's nice.

He's like the Harris and Ford of our generation. If there already wasn't a Harris and Ford of our generation, you know what I'm saying? It's real. So Natalie, let's get back to, I know we always, we can't keep our minds on one thing for more than 10 seconds, but I say this, if you think you can live without the friendship, then go for it because maybe it turns out to be this incredible love story and the two

of you really get along swimmingly, but in my experience, and this is why we give horrible advice on this show, it's because this comes from the minds of Brian and Chrissy. But in my experience, it's going to be really tough to not have a different perspective once you sleep with somebody. It does change things. It does for sure. It does. And on the one hand, I say, you want to be best friends with your partner. Nah.

I think it's over. You say enemies? Well, I do. Ashtard hates me. We seem to be doing just fine. Nah. I think it's over. You say enemies? Well, I assume. Asher hates me. We seem to be doing just fine. Okay. Well, each of their own, but I...

I think it's mainly the commercial rags she hates, actually. She started it. It's her fault. I keep reminding her of that. Every time she gets angry with me, I'm like, you started this. She's like, I wish I never did. I shall change her tune when Spotify calls.

Yeah, yeah. When Spotify calls. You know. Like when we calls. Yeah, yeah. When Spotify calls. You know, like when we're in the retirement home. Finally. I got the call from Spotify, they're buying your business for $14 million. Oh, that's great honey. How much do we get? How much do we get?

How much do I get? I started it. You have to make 600 episodes a week. 24 hour broadcasting channel on Spotify. I started it. Yeah, you have to make 600 episodes a week 24 hour broadcasting channel on Spotify and Pee Nuckle and no this Welcome to the Pee Nuckle podcast sponsored by the program commercial week Well, no wait, what was saying was I think it's great to be best friends I think that's essential at least it is for me But I know that my best should grew with the love simultaneously.

Yeah. With Jeff, I think it's really hard to go from being best friends for six years to then switching. And then if it doesn't work to go back to being friends. It's going to be hard. Yeah. I had one of these situations and it was, and here's the other thing too that I think needs to be considered.

If you've been friends for so long, it's likely. It's likely that your friend has had feelings for a long time and is just saying something now. And when there is an imbalance in the universe, when the force is out of equanimity, like when one person likes the other person a lot more, or for a much longer time, sometimes that can spell trouble. Because it's really hard to be in a relationship where one person loves the other one so much more.

It's really difficult to do that. I agree with Chrissy, you gotta be best friends. That's her and I are best, best buds. Yes. Uh, but. But again, you're a grew with the love. That's right. Because you guys didn't really know each other.

Like right off the bat, we grew in love with each other. Yeah, exactly. So, hey, now it does work in the movies. That's a great rom. Yeah, that's a great, rom. If you go for it, now it works out, please call us. We know people.

We know people for sure. We can get a movie. But she says she hasn't talked to him in two weeks. So this makes me, she must be really nervous about this whole situation. It's all right. I'm so curious as to how he's reacting to her distance. Right. So Natalie, right just back in,

I'm interested to see how this all plays out. We want to follow up with this. One of the things that I'd like to do, one of the things I'd like to do in season four of TCB, which is coming right around the corner in January, I would like to follow up on the STCBs on some of our more popular ones. Like, I want to know what happens with the Martins. So I texted the guy, yes, last night our more popular ones like I want to know what happens with the Martins

So I texted the guy yes last night. I'm like I want to know what happened with the Martins are they still throwing a party But we want to know what the the follow-up is so Chrissy and I's advice is do it or don't do it Just let us know and onto the next topic Just let us know how it works out But thanks for listening. We certainly appreciate it. This reminds me, when you say the Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, this reminds me of something I've really wanted to talk about and I just haven't gotten around to do it yet. What in the good fucking Holy Universe is happening with Pete fucking David?

I think you're going to say this. I just saw the article last night how he's dating Emily Reddett. Emily Reddett Jowski. Yeah, and I do it when I saw that I was like, oh shit, Brian's gonna. Oh my god, I'm gonna handle. I mean, he just keeps going from here and then up a step and then up a step. He is falling upwards. This guy is falling upwards. I was talking to somebody in the podcasting industry

about how if you get a job at a certain place with a lot of prestige, you don't have to do well. You just fall upwards for the rest of your life, right? That's what happened. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard.

It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. It's like when you go to Harvard. the falling upwards place. Like if you were the worst person in the building, they would just promote you. Yeah, you're gonna be market president by the end of the week. That's how it worked. I mean, I got hired.

So this guy is on an epic run. Who else has done, what's that guy's name? The guy like the notable Coxman, who played Dick Tracy? What was his name? Warren Beatty. Warren baby. Not sense Warren baby. Right. I think that's about the same comparison.

Yes. Yes. Not sense Warren baby has a string of hot ass coming in front of a man like this guy. This is amazing. I almost want to if I if I if I didn't think it was so incredibly unbelievable. I'd want to root for the guy. I'd be like go dude. But once you reach Emily Radagowski,, I'd want to root for the guy. I'd be like, go dude. But once you reach Emily Radagowski,

I think you've pretty much topped the mountain. I don't know where else you go from there. Where else do you go? That looks wise, but... Well, looks wise. It'll be like a fucking Angela Merkel. I mean, that's the last one. Well, you know what, I think there must be something to wear

these beautiful women, then see that he's dating other beautiful women, so then as soon as he's single, maybe they want to see what's out. You remember that guy, Mystery, who was telling us that when you put beautiful women then see that he's dating other beautiful women said then as soon as he's single Maybe they want to see what's out. Remember that guy mystery who was telling us that when you put beautiful women around you more Beautiful women surround you. Yeah, I think mystery might be fucking right. Yeah as much as we hate the guy I think he might be right. I don't think I think they look at his resume his bonafides his boner fights He's look at his boner fights they go, well, he's good enough for Kim Kardashian, he's good enough for me.

Right. Emily Radda fucking Jowsky is one of the most beautiful human beings to be walking this earth. I don't think anybody would objectively say anything different. It's unbelievable that Pete fucking Davidson, has anybody seen Pete Davidson? Has anyone looked at a picture of Pete Davidson? Unbelievable. I can't believe it Chrissy and I I I don't know. There's something in there. There's something with Pete. He must have something about Pete

He's got like an 8.25 inch penis with like a Combo I'll just say that and then he's also funny Intelligent he can hold succumbence. I'll just say that. And then he's also funny, intelligent. He can hold these women up. He's been on Saturday live. He's, you know, done movies. There's something there. He wasn't all that great on Saturday and alive. It wasn't.

It isn't last though, it's the thing. Yeah. He was actually engaged to Ariana Grande. Ariana fucking great. No. Okay. Emily Radagowski. He's the kind of guy who can hold women up against the wall

while he's having sex with them. That's all I got to say. I'm thoroughly convinced that if you can hold a woman up while you're having sex with her against the wall, she's gonna marry you. She's gonna marry you. You know how they say, don't marry the up to butt girl.

Don't marry the guy who can't hold you up against the wall. I can barely hold myself up against the wall. Oh, good for you, Pete. Yes, cheers to Pete and to my menals for that, Matt. And to Emily Rathes-Jaskey, if you're happy together, whatever, I don't want to sound totally so over this thing, but I'm just like, I am having a hard time believing my eyes.

And when I read that, I was like, I'm freaking out. I was freaking it out. I'm like, there's no way. Like, can the dude just like take a couple steps down? Like, can he be dating Roseanne Barr or somebody? And then we can all feel better about ourselves. Oh my God, Pete. Well, you know what, keep going.

I don't know how you top that, but I'm interested to see what comes next because it's not gonna last long with him and Emily because it never does with Pete. And, you know, I mean, you never know. But if I see Emily Radagowski as one of those people you fall madly in love with for like 30 days, right?

And then you're like, maybe not. Yeah, what about those happen? Yeah, I just see her as all of those. Totally graduated. Yeah, like infatuated. You get infatuated with Emily R and then you're like, yeah, maybe not for life. It R and then you're like yeah maybe not for life yeah it's good well it lasts but maybe not for life but I'm just totally

pre-supposing and that's what we do here on the commercial break we totally and vacuate yeah in on anything you know what this so I wanted to say something about the dating apps while while we're on this Pete is not meeting these women on the dating apps he He doesn't have to, right? But when you're one of the world's most famous human beings, I guess you don't have to. It's the high S1 network. That's right.

There must be a dating app for only famous people, right? There must be a dating app where only 40 people in the universe exist and they just keep switching each other out because some of those people, they really date for fame. They don't want to date down, They want to date equal or up. And that's a whole press strategy. I mean, that's a whole PR strategy.

It's how you, partially, how you get famous. But I wanted to say that we've been getting a lot of, like, as TCPs lately, and they're almost all of them are around relationships. Right. And a lot of our, a lot of the people who are texting in are actually younger. Like, I never, I always think about our TCB audience and I think of like a 56 year old man sitting

and saying to TCB eating a frozen dinner. What's not the wrong with that? But there's a lot of young people that listen to us and are all writing in about their relationships. Nice. And I started to think into myself. Well, what else would they be writing in about what paint color to get? I don't know. I mean, relationships are the main thing that you want, you know, advice or tarot card readings about. That's sure. Fortune tellers. I thought, like, you know,

stress around you, you know, parental situation or my siblings are fighting, but now everyone wants to focus on Dix. So just like we we do here, other than that. So what I started thinking about was how dating apps have really ruined an entire generation of kids from the pleasures of finding out how to tiptoe into a relationship, how to meet someone on the street in a bar at a social function, how to get together and take most of the technology out of the way, these apps I think actually people are turning on them a little bit because they're looking for something more meaningful than let me swipe right in whatever city I happen to be in right now and I'm just going to fuck somebody and then I'm going to leave them never have ghost them and never do it again.

It's causing a lot of pain and stress and drama from the interactions we're getting. And I sense that people are turning on this a little bit. And I'm all for it. That's true. I mean, because I can imagine too with all the dating apps, you feel like you're profile, you people already know going in. And they could all be lies, but whatever you still know,

they probably miss the mark. But I do remember dating before you found all of this out via actually talking to someone over dinner. That's right. You know, going to a museum, whatever you think. Listen, there's nothing quite like the experience of finding out someone's a convicted felon three months after you start dating them.

That's real life drama. You learn how to navigate those situations. I remember taking my horse and buggy down the street and mom and dad would introduce me to another, you know, a nice young lady around my age. They would exchange a couple chickens and then I would take her out to the little house in the prairie style. I think the world needs more of this and I'm gonna call it. I'm gonna call that the dating apps are gonna become less popular over the next couple of years.

And the reason being, I believe that people, from my interactions on this phone, people are getting stressed out around these dating apps and they're not finding much satisfaction or deep interactions like we used to. Like you can't get to know somebody over an app, like you can over 12 to 15 bud lights in a really long night of cocaine abuse at a bar.

That's I've got. Yeah, there's nothing that you could exchange that with. I'm just telling you. Or, you know, when your friend brings a hot girl that he's into to the social function and then you steal her away from him and sleep with her on the slice lie. You can't replicate that on the nap.

You just can't girls and guys. I'm telling you right now. So I'm gonna call it death of the dating apps over the next couple of years. I don't think they're ever gonna really die. They are a great way for, I know plenty of people that have gotten married from meeting people on dating apps,

but it does take some of the... Do you really know a lot of people get married on dating apps? Yeah, I have gotten married from meeting people on dating apps. I thought that. Yeah. It does take some of the, do you really know a lot of people get married on dating apps? Yeah, I have met quite a few people. Really? And I've gotten married from a dating app. They met on Tinder and then they got married? I don't know if it was Tinder per se, but it was, you know, e-harming or match or something like that.

I don't know, but yes, I've known people that have got married from a, very interesting. I don't think I know anybody who's gotten married from a dating app. I know a lot of people have been ghosted because of a dating I know well here we go now there's not all bad news because Marlon has his rent paid now because of a dating app You know and so I guess let us know TCB

Let me know I'm hearing that that those dating apps are stressing people out. Well, they are I can see how it would be stressful You know it stresses me out, Chrissy? What's that, Brian? Well, I don't have my favorite condiment to eat with, I'm a condiment guy. Are you, you're not a condiment girl. You don't like ketchup. I don't like ketchup, but I love suratcha.

I like ketchup. And I like mustard. I just, I just don't like ketchup person. That's it. Don't, don't catch up, shame me. I don't like ketchup. Who else doesn't like ketchup? I don't like ketchup. I doesn't like ketchup? Too sweet.

It's too sweet. Oh, it's the perfect tart and sweet. Okay, you don't like ketchup we already went through. Condiments are my thing. I will drown whatever I'm deciding to eat. I will drown in sauce because that's just the way I like my food. I think condiments are an essential part of the meal. And so there's a few favorites that I have.

I love hot sauce. I love. What's your favorite hot sauce? My favorite hot sauce right now, I have to say something called pick a pepper. And pick a pepper is like a combination. It's a very mild hot sauce combination. It's like a steak sauce, like a spicy steak sauce.

And I like it because I'm eating a lot of meat right now. I like it because I can put it on anything that I'm eating. Okay. I love the good old Tabasco. That's a, I'm a fan of that. I like it. Frank's girl. You're a Frank's girl. Mm-hmm. What's Frank's? Frank's. Red hot. Oh Frank's red hot. Yeah. Okay. No, that's not for me. You don't like Texas Pete better? I like Texas Pete too. It depends on the food, which goes better, but I like some Frank's on my eggs. But you know, there are people who take this a little bit too far, and I'm gonna name my mother as one of them.

Let me tell you a little story, a little Brian's story. We were moving my mom out of a house so that we could put her into a senior center so that she had more help and socialization and all this other stuff as she was rounding the corner, getting a little bit older. So we're taking her out of her own apartment. When my brother and I decided to start cleaning out the apartment, we started finding bottles

of ranch dressing around the house, an open bottle of ranch dressing. By the time we cleaned out the house, there were 36, that's not a joke, 36 bottles of ranch dressing, including ones in the freezer. She had ranch in the freezer. What are you doing, Mom? Why are you asking so much for? Of course we did. I didn't know I had that much. Rehatch, trust me. I was looking for ranch last night. Where were you going to eat it with? My hot dog. Your hot dog? You're going to put ranch on your hot dog. I like ranch on almost everything. Yeah, I'm like, okay. Some people are ranch people.

Some people are ranch people. Do you like a good ranch? I like a good homemade ranch. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I go ahead and valley or not. No, you gotta go like the buttermilk ranch dressing. I'm not arguing with ranch. I like ranch dressing, but I don't need 36 bottles of food in the valley.

Mom was literally hidden valley. She was hiding them all over her house for what reason. I don't know. Are you worried about someone coming in and taking your ranch dressing? Valley mom was literally hidden valley she was hiding them all over her house for what reason I told no I You worried about someone coming in and taking your They didn't have someone on hand at all times sometimes you just feel better about yourself when there's a bottle of ranch More secure. Yeah, you feel more secure when there's you have lots of hidden valley ranches around the house comes in the house you'd be like don't hurt me ranch dressing

Biggie throw the bottle at the end. You want to make a salad? Squirt them in the eye. Yeah. Oh my god. But even that type of extreme does not compare to what I found on the internet recently. So Chrissy, I was trolling on the internet.

As you do. As I do like to do. Hey, everyone, it's time for the commercial break inside the commercial break. Did you know you can dial one 855-TCB-8383? That's one 855-TCB-8383 from anywhere in the world. toll free. Text us, call us, leave us a voice mail. It's not spam.

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Let's hear from our wonderful sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. Hey everybody, I wanted to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by our good friends at Lulu Lemon. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, and whatever you identify yourself with, listen up because Lulu Lemon is not just for yoga pants. The holiday season is here, Halloween is officially over,

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break. Go on guys, get yourself a pair of Lululemon pants. You're going to love it. And it's been a while since we've done one of these, but I found that, you know, my string addiction show. I found somebody. I was wondering when we were gonna come back to Valorant. I know, I love these things, but we did a couple of them in a row, but way back in season one, and then I just think we just let it go for a while. I was waiting for a good one to come up, though. Like, you know, some of them are okay, and then some of them are really good.

This one is mind-boggling. This lady eats 70,000 calories worth of tartar sauce every week. Tartar sauce. Tartar sauce. Wow. Fucking disgusting. Yeah. But to each the wrong.

I mean, I guess I like it maybe with fish, but that's it. You like it with fish? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, hold on. You ready? Let's do this. Let's take a listen. Oh my god, that looks disgusting, Chr my god That looks disgusting. I just don't like tartar sauce something about tartar sauce turns me off

And I know it's just mayonnaise with some relish in it like it's really not it's really not anything you like I like mayonnaise and I like relish but somehow when you put them together it kind of gives me like a Like a weird feeling I already feel like I have diarrhea before I eat it. You know what I'm saying? That's I feel I Just don't even think to put it on anything except fish. No, why would you? It's gross. Like fish and chips. That's the only way I have to eat tartar sauce.

Yeah. Stea drowns everything. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. day. Oh, good. Nothing is off limits. I would eat it with anything and everything.

There was a cut. Oh my gosh, you're eating a cupcake with tartar sauce on it. Oh my gosh. Oh, hoes or whatever. Oh my god. Nothing like making your meal a little more healthy with tartar sauce on your hoes or your ding-dongs. Nothing screams picture of hell. Like ding-dongs with tartar sauce on your ho-hoes or your ding-dongs. That's nothing screams picture of hell.

Like ding-dongs with tartar sauce on it. Big rig driving misty goes through a bottle of tartar sauce daily. It arouses me. Did you just say it arouses you? Isn't there like a sexual fetish around food? It's like epidemia or something like that? Probably. I don't know what it is.

Sure there is. Sure there is. I've never heard Tarder sauce be a part of that. Like what are the sexiest fruits? There's like strawberries, chocolates, peaches, you know, stick your dick in an apple pie if you're into that whole movie. That whole scene, whatever. Tarder sauce never made the list, but you know, we'll teach their own.

It's your ex to see. In just Tarder sauce alone, Misty consumes a mind-boggling $14,000. She just puts that on wajali on her toast. Oh my god. Oh my god. The Tarder sauce with jelly. God, guys, you can't see is that this lady is taking Tarder sauce and she's putting it on strawberries, ding-dongs, ho-hoes, cakes, waffles, bread. She is literally eating everything and I was wrong, it wasn't 40,000 calories, 14,000 calories,

but still, that's an extra three and a half pounds of weight you're putting on your body every week in fucking tartar sauce. Wow. And you're driving a truck, so you know you ain't getting out and you know, running a mile around the block. The calories a week. It pops on your tongue and the excitement I love it. It just gives food a whole new life.

You know what else pops on your tongue? Pop rocks. It's just go for that kid. Newly, she consumes an astounding 40 gallons of tartar sauce. Eating tartar sauce is more like having a north. 40 gallons of tartar sauce. Eating tartar sauce is more like a heaven in the North. 40 gallons of tartar sauce. I, we gotta talk to Big Will, the champ about this. Like, is there an eating contest

for this lady could win by just eating tartar sauce? There's gotta be. Because if you start looking into competitive eating, they eat anything for competition, and then they fucking bet on it. They put it on like the sports line and stuff like that. You remember this last, I don't even remember this, but July 4th, we had Will was giving us a report about the hot dog eating contest and how there was like some fuck up and the guy

won, but then he lost and all this other stuff. They actually, a lot of these sports betting places had to give money back because of the fuck up on this. So people actually bet on competitive fucking eating. Well, people not only will competitive eating eat anything, but people will bet on anything. People actually bet on competitive fucking eating. Well, people not only will competitive eating eat anything, but people will bet on anything. People will bet on anything. I heard a rumor that Disney's gonna get into sports betting.

Disney. I think you're taking it a little too far there. Bob Bench. Well, they own ESPN. Yeah, that's why they want to do it. That's it. Five years ago, I was loving life and living life to the fullest. But that all came to a crashing halt with when she met Vidden Valley Tardersauce.

She spiraled down the Tardersauce all. When she got a packet of fish filet sauce through the drive-through for her Big Mac. The night out on the town. My friends and I went out to eat. We put our leftovers all in the same container. Part of stuff got all over my breakfast and I fell in love with it. Since that time. What a happy accident.

Oh my god. I won't even eat leftovers. And this is part of the reason why. Because you never quite know what condition your food's gonna be in the next day. I know that's like a first world problem. It's like don't eat your leftovers, but I can't stay in leftover.

Ask Astrid. There's a few things that I'll eat leftover, but it's definitely not any kind of sauce. Like if someone puts, if you put sauce on anything, I'm not eating it leftover. Well, it's gonna be soggy. It's gonna be soggy and nasty. Can you imagine?

This lady goes out to dinner or lunch or whatever she's going. She said she went out to dinner and it was all over her breakfast food. How did that happen? I don't know. She got breakfast for dinner. I don't think her story adds up. I think we're finding inconsistencies in your story. She hasn't eaten a single food without tartar sauce.

I thought she was gonna say like my mom died or my dad died and that too. I thought she was gonna say like that too. Funeral. I got tartar sauce. Eight tartar sauce for comfort and had that too. Funeral, I got... Yeah, tartar sauce and then. Eight tartar sauce for comfort, and I never stopped. Misty's a single mom. Her kids, 16-year-old Gianni, and third... Well, I will say this, if you're a single mom,

to probably drive you to do some really crazy shit, because I got two people in this house who'll try to take care of these kids, and this is possible. That's what I'm talking about. The 30-year-old sourdough is pretty sour. I know. It's true. I'm throwing stones in a glass house.

Teen-year-old Janisha, know that her tartar sauce addiction is destroying her life. Bam! Ah, please. Oh my god. Oh. She just put it on that cupcake like it was icing. Oh.

Oh. Before kids. She took two ding-dongs. She put a bunch of the ding-dong, the cupcakes, like the ones you get in a, and it's grocery store. Little, yeah, or hostess. Yeah.

The kind that can survive nuclear war. You know what I'm saying? Like the same box that's been there since 1976, is still safe to sell at Publix today. And she took two of them, put tartar sauce on both of them, smoosh them together, and now she's eating them. That's the stress. That's disgusting.

But can't get her to stop. We really want our mom to change up her whole diet, but it's like she doesn't really want to change. Can't stop herself. It tastes that good. No, I mean, hell, when you get that tartar sauce, run the Daniels if. You got that tartar, tartar.

I like to put that tartar right on my Bing Bang, and I'm just saying, it arouses me that Tartar Tartar. I like to put that Tartar right on my Bing Bang, you know what I'm saying? It arouses me. Sometimes I just take Tartar sauce and I wipe it all over my balls. Hey girl, it's me, Kar. I'm just here at the public, sticking up a couple of bottles of Tartar sauce.

It made me think of you. I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna take some pictures of me rubbing Tartar sauce all over my tank. I'm gonna send it to you. What I want you to do is I want you to take your boobs and stick them in some blue cheese dressing. You know that palm with new munchy it gives back to the community. Praise Jesus. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, Tata sauce! And then what we're gonna do is when I get there, I'm gonna come with a big fat stack of cash. I'm gonna drop it at your front door. I'm gonna stick my dick in between your blue cheese tits. It's gonna be hot girl. It's gonna smell like a wet foot.

It would stock. Oh, it's a wet footy wet. Woodstock It's gonna smell like the boogie Just a reminder you never have sex after the day one of the festival because you never know what's gonna go on Because you never know what's gonna go on I'm putting the card to sauce off my tank and I still wouldn't have sex with some of those people after day one You know the thing girl This is one of the downfalls of festivals When I go in the shower I feel like I'm washing the I don't know where that water came from you know I'm saying girl all right

Well, I got to go and be taking some pictures. I'll show up. Look out for my tartus sauce boner later. For my T.S.B. you know what I'm saying? My tartus sauce boner. Pfft. Pfft. It's always nice and coral stuff.

So I'm gonna give you some advice. Since I've been on the tartus sauce binge, I put on at least 60 to 70 pounds. Jesus. Yeah, I'll do it. It's a lot of weight. Five years, 60 to 70 pounds. Jesus! Yeah, I'll do it. It's a lot of weight. Five years, 60 to 70 pounds. You know they say the average American over the age of like 35, they put on, I think it

was like three and a half to five pounds every single year of the life of the Americans. It's unbelievable. Can you imagine? Not too proud of that. Now, really out of shape, I'm out of breath. My get up and gofin go, got-a-fin win. I mean, I guess tartar sauce for her lifestyle with the, I'll be in on the road like that, I guess it's quick and easy.

Yeah, I mean, but there's absolutely zero nutritional value to tartar sauce. I know. The relish is just cucumbers. There's no, there's nothing in there. Manne's, I guess there's a little bit of protein in the egg yolk, but I mean, what in the world? Yeah, this lady needs an invention,

and she needs one bath. Social life, sex life, everything, this, I haven't been on. Yeah, it's hard to have sex when you're shitting out tartar sauce. Unless your carl. Unless your carl. But carls got the pulpit, so he's got that victory V going on.

Yeah, that's right. The date for five. He's like the Pete Davidson of Ministers. He can have sex with anybody. Years. Except his wife. Yeah, Tarz sauce has taken over my life. Here we go.

I'm like really scared for it, because if my mom... Oh! She's just like a packet of tartar sauce and stuck her tongue in it. I know, but I'm more concerned about the strawberry bowl. That's a yellow. Doesn't tell her ways she can get really sick or even worse. Cocoa puffs.

Oh my god, she just put tartar sauce and fucking cocoa puff fruit. That's worse than cream. That's way worse than cream. I feel so much better about myself. Nothing makes me feel better about myself than looking at other people worse off than me. I'm holding space for that. Yeah. Do you miss this? Love it. I know the tart sauce isn't healthy, but I don't care. And it's my life. I'm an destructible

baby. Well, the category of famous last words. Yes, exactly. Well, we category of famous last words With nowhere else to turn Misty Sun Gianni has asked freaky eater experts dr. Mightdown and JJ Freaky, I don't know what are you out of party you estimate what they do? I'm a freaky here expert. This is like the girl who talks to stars the star talker. Whatever she is What is the light talker? It's like the star talker, whatever she is, what is the light talker? It's like the light talker. She gets that zero qualifications.

Virgin, to give Misty a week of intense therapy for her tartar sauce addiction. Misty, sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, coming out of your big rig there. We're freaky eating the experts. I've been studying freaking eating for two months now. They just like popped up on a whole camera. I don't think she was scared.

No, this is all set up by the producers. I mean, can they meet at a house or a hotel or a studio or something? They got a meter in the gas station where big rig is parked. Like a... It's like a white station. I know. Like they just... The FBI is reading your...

Man, pull over. Freaky-ede experts. Freaky-eater experts. It's hard to say fat you're under us freaky edie or the F E I F P I I said F E I man freaky eater investigators F E I did you say F B No, I said FBI. Just get out of your big rig now. Ignore those cameras all around for the last two hours.

I'm here to help you. I want to know where you got that tartar sauce from. If you talk to me now, it's going to be a lot better for you, ma'am. I got it for publics! It's gone off work. And I was ambushed by two people and I was floored. Dr. Mike Donis, to meet you on the psychotherapist specializing in disordered eating and addictive behaviors. Oh, I need to talk to this guy about my cream and cereal.

Dr. D. Virgin, I'm a certified nutrition specialist and a certified health and fitness specialist. What a tough life it must be to go through puberty, having the name JJ Virgin. Ha ha ha ha. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Oh, big time. I wonder if she became a therapist.

Yeah. To therapist herself. As she's in the profession. That's right. By her son, Gianni. No. Yes, we were. He says that you have tartar sauce everywhere you go.

Can we see your purse? It is your purse. Tartar sauce in your purse, missy, really? I don't know how they got there. Stop buying! That isn't doing it! That guy did it! I've never seen that before.

That's not a guy, man. That's a stray dog. I've never seen Tuna Sous in my life! Oh, here's the new one! Here it is. She's powerless over the substance and she's addicted. I need to see this in action. We need to see it for ourselves. I need you to guzzle a bunch of harder selves right here.

Yeah. Nothing cares addiction, like just getting more high. Welcome to this intervention, Brian. Your friends and family have brought you here. They're concerned about your crack addiction. I need to see this in action. So I bought Nateball. Can we all watch you go crazy for three hours?

I don't even have my pipe. Oh, I got plenty of clean pipes here for you, bud. Just need to see it action. You might as well get a little hit, guys take a taste of that. We went to our house. So we got our spaghetti, yeah, sir. Jellum and a big thing of tartar sauce. I was thinking. These two are watching her like the spectator sport. Look at them, they're leaning into it. That's fucking disgusting, Chrissy. Keen and myself, she's not really gonna put tartar sauce in that Jello.

Honestly, we have to see it with our own eyes. How's it going? Too late. Too late. Too late. Too late. We don't give a shit if you get clean. We could pay either way.

DLC Cash. DLC Cash. We'll forget all about you as soon as we stop filming. Down, JJ, I really felt embarrassed. You've sort of crossed that line between using tartar sauce to feel pleasure, like a treat, to needing it to feel normal. When you need something to feel normal, that's addiction. I really wasn't ready to admit I had an addiction. Wait, hold on, you weren't ready to admit you had an addiction to tartar sauce

when you've been eating a bottle at least of it every day for five years. Yeah. I mean, I'm not even that stupid. I'm pretty stupid, but even I'm not that stupid. And here's the thing about Missy. She's like a lovely lady. She's not like, my 600 pound life person.

She's like a lovely lady. Her kids go to school. Her kids seem really well-adjusted. Very nice. Yeah. And she's a single mother, and that's like the toughest job in the world. And she's like, this is her outlet. This is her outlet to eat tartar sauce.

Someone stopped this woman from buying tartar sauce. Please. Mmm. It's delicious. When you need tartar sauce for every meal of every day, you are dependent on that substance. Being a single mom, there's no husband to help you shoulder the stress of raising kids.

Right. You feel like there's party that's missing. Right. And you feel that whole with that tartar sauce. Right. I'm like the way that I'm living. You feel hopeless? Yeah. Because you know that there's something that you're doing. Yeah, because you, we can't help you either. It's all over. All right. I hate when they get into the therapy part of this because then I'm like, I'm bored now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, best of luck to you. Best of you. Best of you. I hope you're still alive.

We opened up our heart. Now came a creamy white substance. I put it on my fish fly. It was delicious. Oh. Oh. Yeah, I don't. Tarder sauce is just not like a popular condom

and I don't think. She picked one that's not very popular. Like, you don't see tartar sauce. Well, it's never going to be a shortage. Have you ever had tartar sauce on like a fish filet sandwich? Yes, of course. Did you like the taste of it? Yeah, I mean, I don't like the, again, I don't like the store bought stuff, but I've had

some really good homemade tartar sauce with like a fish and chill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's that stuff? This is a Canadian's, I put mayonnaise on their french fries. Yeah, the French. And the French.

And I'm French Canadian. The French Canadians, there you go. So, I guess it's the same thing. When I went to France, they would give you mayonnaise with your french fries. And the French and the French Canadian the French Canadians there you go When I went to France They would give you mayonnaise with your french fries and I was like well shit. Why not? Let me give it a try It's fucking delicious. It was actually fucking delicious. I'm all about it But I know as a human being I cannot go on a mayonnaise and french fry one because it's going to ruin me That's all I want for two years took me you know, it took me six weeks to get off the cream and cereal.

So, hey Natalie, thanks for writing in. I hope everything works out with you and your friend. Please, please, please follow up. If you, too, want to ask TCB for our horrible advice, you can, 855, TCB 8383. That's 855, TCB 8383, it's toll free from anywhere in the world. We'll pick up the charges. You can call and leave a voicemail or you can text us.

We really do respond. No spam about it. Your name and number never goes into a list. We'll never spam you. That is an actual phone line. Hit us up or you can go to the website, tcbpodcast.com. Hit the contact us button and feel free to write us questions comments concerns content ideas ask tcb you've got a story you want to tell

you just want to say hello do it all at the website or on the phone line you can also follow us at the com at the commercial break on Instagram I was gonna ask you I don't even remember and YouTube comms slash the commercial break These videos full length episodes Full the edited by our wonderful editor Morgan come out just a couple days after they error here So Chrissy, I think that's all I can do today. I think so I love you I love you and best to you best you out there in the podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say with tartar sauce in our mouth.

Bye.I'm just a fan of youI'm just a fan of you I'm just a fan of you I'm just a fan of you I'm just a fan of you I'm just a fan of you I'm just a fan of you you