The Commercial Break - Everybody Wants This

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

Episode #618:In another moment of marital bliss, Astrid joins Bryan in the studio while Krissy is recovering from Mempho. Astrid joins Bryan! Mempho Tina got married Nobody Wants This (fact check) The OC was on for 4 seasons Bryan is a Boomer ;) Love Is Blind White converse shoes Surprising Facts with Astrid! Peach or Peaches? Filler and botox Multicultural relationships Dad Jokes Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What does possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. Here's a comforting thought for you. Somewhere in the world right now, someone's curling up, getting all cozy, getting ready to go to bed. And the thought of you crossed their mind.

And they were hit with such a wave of rage that they've become too dysregulated to fall asleep. On this episode of the commercial break. I love tickling the kids. It's like one of my favorite, it's like one of the joys of life. It's actually considered kind of torture. Torture? Yeah.

They don't, they don't seem to mind it. Well, I'm just saying. Who considers tickling torture? What in the good fuck are we talking about? The parenting gurus on Instagram are saying. I'm faced with a sound that sounds more like a face. They're going to come at you. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy!

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is a wife eating my husband. starts now Welcome back to the studio I have convinced My incredible wife to come back in the studio and talk with the audience such a favorite fan favorite out there I swear to God the women in this the women well first of all I surround myself with only women so there might be one of the reasons why the audience is mostly women and then everybody loves the women on this show and everybody just gives me shit well I think you're being a little dramatic I don't think I'm being dramatic also it only took took you like a whole year to invite me back.

Well, that's true. Well, I mean, you know, we do have somebody that we pay to be in that seat. Her name is Kristin Jolie only. So it is true. This is Chrissy's. This is Chrissy's seat. This is Chrissy's seat. And as long as she'll as long as I'll have her and she'll be here, then I guess that's

going to be her seat. And, you know, she did take a considerable amount of time off last year. Right. So we had to make up for it. We're now contractually obligated to be here more often than ever. And I'm sure the audience loves it. Astrid joining me because October is kind of a wacky month for all of us as I go deal with some health issues and there's some travel involved in there. And Chrissy is now probably spending the next seven days recovering from Menfo, which I hear went well. I saw all the pictures, did you? She posted, yeah.

Well, she posted and then Menfo posted. Very fun pictures. Yeah. And did you see that Chrissy was actually in one of the reels? So on Saturday- Oh, sure. I didn't see like Menfo's pictures. I saw from like her personal- Oh, from her personal profile? Yeah. She was having fun with some friends there and, you know, looked good. So, Mempho's a big deal and therefore they have like a videography crew and I'm sure lots of photographers that run around.

It's an actual real festival. Not like TCB Minus in Florida. Well, if it had ever happened. So, I saw on the real Saturday night, I was thinking to myself, well, I wonder how Chrissy's doing. I wonder how Jeff and Chrissy are doing. I hope the festival's going well. And then lo and behold, an hour later, pops a reel. And the reel is like a mix cut, right, of all these people dancing and music and all this. And right smack dab in the middle of the reel is Chrissy dancing in the crowd, double fisting. And I'm like, oh, there we go.

Go Chrissy. Go Chrissy. I wouldn't expect anything less. She did text me to let me know she's alive and that at her age, she doesn't know how much longer she's going to be doing this. I call bullshit. I call she's going to be doing this for a long time to come because it's in her DNA. It's in her DNA to hang out like that. She can do like a four day party. She doesn't have 27 kids. I mean, Chrissy, if it makes you feel better, I'm younger than you are, and I can probably handle a lot less than you do. Asher and I went to a wedding, Tina's wedding, actually. We went to Tina's wedding, and they were serving up some kind of punch.

What was that? Like a sangria? Oh, no, it was like a sangria, yeah, a sangria. But I don't know if it was technically sangria. Yeah, it was Greek sangria, I remember. With ouzo. Didn't it have ouzo in it? No. It didn't have ouzo in it? I thought it had ouzo.

I thought I remember. No, it had something with mango, was it? Mango, ouzo, I don't know. But anyway, it was a strong punch. No, because sangria is wine and juice. That's sangria. Wine and juice. But I think they were pouring some ouzo in it. The Greek version, they put some kind of mango juice. I don't know. Anyway, whatever. The point is, it was strong, of mango juice. I don't know. Anyway, whatever. The point is, it was strong, it was good. I tasted just a little bit of it.

I was driving and I don't really drink anyway. But, so- I don't drink. I drank one and I was drunk. I know. Esther gets in the car and she goes, I'm drunk. And I go, good, I'm getting lucky. I'm getting lucky and lucky means everyone's going to go to bed early in my house. Congratulations to Tina,

by the way, who's got married. I don't think we mentioned that on air, our good friend, Tina, lovely human being, married to another lovely- I mean, people here know her. She's been a guest host. Of course, she's been a guest host. She's helped out with it. She's really been on board with the commercial break since like day one, I feel like. I think she's an OG commercial break lover. So there you go. I wanted to ask you a question. What exactly is it that you, yes, you, what is it exactly that you're watching at night while I'm here in the studio pretending like I'm working? Nicole Soule-Northman Oh, God. Well, this weekend, I got hooked with Nobody Wants This.

Is that the show about the podcast? Yes. So it's like an actual true story. Again, this is not like an actual fact because I'm in this show. But it's something like the creator or the director of the show, that's her true life story. She had a podcast. She has a podcast to this day. What is the name of the podcast?

Oh, I have no idea. Okay. I didn't dig that deep about it. But whatever the show, it's about a rabbi played by Adam Brody. Adam Bode. Bode. And Kristen Bell. Okay, I like Kristen Bell.

Who plays this girl that has a sex... Therapy podcast. Yeah, it's not therapy. It's just like, she talks about... Text advice. It's basically like lifestyle podcast, but they do have a lot of like sex and dating conversations. And yeah, it's about how they, both of them fall in love, you know, and him being a rabbi and, you know, a Jewish family and all of that. It was fun. I mean, honestly,

I don't know much about Jewish, like indeed, you know, in depth, like about the religion. So it was just, it was interesting, but it was a very cute love story. They have a big chemistry on screen, so that was, you know, that's like my jam. Jared Sussman So, the girl falls in love with the rabbi. Elie Wiesman Right. Jared Sussman And the one difference that I do know... Elie Wiesman With the hot rabbi. And I'm not saying this,

this is how they call him in the show. Jared Sussman Oh, hot rabbi. Elie Wiesman Which is true, being the actor who plays it. Adrian Brody? Adam. Adam Brody. Yeah. So not Adrian Brody.

You know, back from The O.C.? I have no fucking clue about The O.C. Don't ask me about The O.C. The only thing I remember about The O.C. Is it Misha Barton that was in that show? I think so, yes. Okay. And there was a lot of trouble around that whole...

That was only on for like one season, wasn't it? Two seasons? I don't remember. I didn't actually watch it. Oh, okay. I thought that was like your age group, The O. Okay. And there was a lot of trouble around that whole... That was only on for like one season, wasn't it? Two seasons? I don't remember. I didn't actually watch it. Oh, okay. I thought that was like your age group, the OC. Yeah. Well, a little bit. Yes. I was actually younger. So... I was more 90210. Like, you know, I'm 12, 13 years old and 90210 comes out. Yeah, you're like a boomer. I'm a millennial. I don't know if I would call myself a boomer. I think I'm a Gen Exer is what I am. Actually, technically, I think I'm a Gen Xer is what I am. Actually, technically, I think I'm a Gen Xer. Yeah, it has actually come through the last couple of days.

Astrid and I are watching the- It's been showing. Oh, thank you, baby. It's my parathyroid. It's on fire. It's making me feel old. You know, that's what they say about the hyper parathyroidism is a lot of people will say, I felt like I got old overnight because of the way that it makes you feel, like brain fog and tired and achy bones. Anyway, I don't wanna talk about that all episode long. We've already spent enough time on it.

But what I was gonna say is Astrid and I are watching Love is Blind the other day. And we're watching the first episode and in the episode, first, second episode, and in the episode, it's all pod episodes, right? So you've seen Love is Blind, everyone's seen Love is Blind. They're in their pods. Yeah, they're in their pods phase.

And they're trying to get to know each other. So there's a couple and both of the people- Well, weird enough, sorry to interrupt you. It's like people dress up to go on the- I was just sitting. And it's like no one- I was telling Aster that. I was like, no one's quiet. I guess they actually do it for the cameras, you know, like because they know it's a TV

show, but it's like some of these girls take it like to the whole next, I'm like, honey, no one, like he's not actually seeing you, so why are you so worried about it? What does it matter what the other girls think? Because they're not going to, like no one has physical interaction with each other, the males and the females, don't have any physical interaction with each other unless they actually get to that moment where they meet each other. And in that case, of course you get fucking dressed up or if you're out at the resort. Yeah, but I think it's kind of like, they also take this show, I feel like, and I'm not saying they're a bad person at all, it has nothing to do with this, but it's kind of

like an audition, like a life audition. Of course it is. Because afterwards, they're going to be famous. We already know, most of them become, you know, big influencers, models, you know, actors, whatever. I think that's the problem with a lot of these reality shows that become big hits in society is that while you, you know, Nick Lachey is always calling it the experiment. Well, it's not an experiment anymore. Maybe the first season it was an experiment, maybe, because you still know you're going to be on a television show and you're still auditioning for a television show. These people take this way seriously. And my opinion is, is that no matter how earnestly you want to find love, you are definitely also wanting to be famous. You don't put all your bullshit out there and open yourself up for that kind of criticism

and ridicule and investigation and, you know, trolling. You don't do that unless you have a real desire to be in the limelight. And I'm not saying that's wrong. Look at me. I have a fucking show and I can't, you know, I can't put myself out there. So I'm not, I'm not throwing stones in a glass house. But I don't believe that there are many of those people that are earnestly just looking for love. Yeah, of course not. No. Right. Because also there's no guarantee you're actually going to find love. And even though some

of them have been, you know, actually successful marriages, you know, like it actually seems like they did find love. There's no guarantee, and I think there are more couples that have broken up than the ones that have stayed together. Jared Suellentrop I think that there is like a 10% success rate on that show about, like couples that have stayed together long term. I don't know what the actual number is. Like, is this scientific information? Yeah, it's scientific information in my hypercalcified brain. I'm going to assume 10%. Because there's one couple every season that seems to make it and that's it, except for the first season.

And it's normally the first one that gets engaged. It's like the one that kind of like shows. Serendipitously gets together. There's always that one couple. Like they like each other very much from the very beginning. From the right. Yeah. Or that's the way they kind of edit, you know.

And I think it's that couple. There's always one couple each season that it feels like they were meant to be there in that moment to find each other. And I love seeing that moment. I think that's great. So regardless of what their intentions are as far as fame is concerned, there is real something going on. So now you understand why their intentions are as far as fame is concerned, there is real something going on. So, now you understand why I like romance.

I love romance too. I said I love that first story. I'm not going to give it away because I don't know if people watch it yet, but I love that first story. I love seeing real love blossom. But unlike that real love on that television show that's all, you know, honeymoon-ish and all that stuff, Astrid and I are laying in bed in a sweet moment, holding hands, watching Love is Blind, and all of a sudden they show these two people in a pod and they're both wearing white Converse shoes. And Astrid turns to me and she goes, why don't you wear white Converse shoes? You're such an old man, you don't wear white Converse shoes. And I'm like, what the fuck? I'm just sitting here watching Love is Blind. Why all of a sudden am I getting attacked

for not wearing white Converse shoes in this moment? And they said, listen, I was wearing Converse shoes before you even thought I was wearing Converse shoes. But they were out of style for a while. But then that was your argument. Well, first of all, I didn't specify they had to be white. Okay. I just said Converse's.

Okay, Converse shoes. And then you went back and said, well, they're out of style, but I used Converse when I was 18, two centuries ago. And I'm like, yeah, I know, but they came back. Did you wear jelly shoes as a child? No. You didn't wear jelly shoes? No. You never wore jelly shoes?

No. Okay. Name a fad or a trend that you had when you were young, preteen, teenager, 13, 14 No. You didn't wear jelly shoes. No. You never wore jelly shoes. No. Okay. Name a fad or a trend that you had when you were young, preteen, teenager, 13, 14 years old that you just couldn't get away from. Faded jeans. Faded jeans. Okay.

Faded jeans. And like, how you call it? Like the... The big bell bottoms? Yes. Yes. Okay. Bell bottoms were a thing when I was a kid too.

Oh, and also low, like... Yeah, hip riders. Hip riders. Yeah. Hip riders. It was a kid too. Oh, and also low, like... Yeah, hip riders. Yeah. Hip riders. It was a big thing. I don't know why. Why aren't you wearing hip riders right now? Why aren't you wearing your faded bell-bottom jeans with hip riders? Well, in reality, because I don't have the body I had when I was 12. Oh, stop. And then... None of us have the body we had when we were 12. Right. And also, I don't really know why they even exist. Like I don't think they even look good on models. Like, no.

No, they're... It's not, it's awful. It's super uncomfortable too. They're a late 90s thing. And you sit down and it's like your... Butt crack shows. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so there's the same thing, but...

But not with cumbersome. But listen to me. Those faded jeans and those bell bottoms are back. Have you seen these mom jeans? You have a pair of mom jeans. I wore one one time and even you were like, oh no, no, honey, no. Jared Sarkissian It did not look good. I was like, no, babe, uh-uh. That's like mom mom. That's like your mom's mom. That's like, that's like you're trying to hide, trying to steal sausage from the grocery store and kind of hiding. Listen, here's my point. My point is that everything no old becomes new again. And just because I didn't jump on the converse trend five years ago when it started coming back, doesn't mean I'm not hip. It just means I just don't have, I don't currently have a pair of converse.

No, but then you started going like, well, I don't, you know, I can't afford a pair of converse. It's like, I didn't say I couldn't afford a pair of converse. It was like, you made it sound like I'm telling you to go buy, you know, Gucci sneakers or something. It's like, okay, well, 50 bucks. That's pretty normal shoe price. Listen, my love, my love. See, this is what this guy from Love is Blind has to look forward to.

It's all shits and giggles in those pods. And then your wife starts telling you, you look ugly because you're not wearing a Converse shoes currently. In that line of thought, you know what I read today? What? I mean, I'm not sure this would be considered like a fun fact, but that on every first date, the first 10 minutes are lies. All lies. All lies. Of course. Because it's just two people trying to make each other comfortable. That's right.

And like, and so I feel like that's what the pods are in Love is Blind. It's just a lie. It's 10 days of all lies. Right, like, it's 10 days of all lies. If you think about it, it's almost like, you know, haters behind a key, a screen or just with a keyword. Yeah. Like you feel confident enough to just say

whatever. And I think that's what happened in the pods all of a sudden. Well, of course, you know, they're more vulnerable and they cry and they laugh and they sit. So according to the show, they make it look like they're showing their true selves. But I don't know that's a hundred percent true, especially when they know they're on a TV show where all of this is going to be displayed. Jared Sienaar Here's something interesting that I noticed about this particular season of Love is Blind. Some of these guys immediately addressed things that I don't think in seasons past they would have addressed. One guy said, I voted for Trump, then I voted for Biden when I found out.

Did you? Well, he was like, so my dad is very Republican and last election I voted for Trump. He qualified. And if almost if he could like, see her face. And all of a sudden he started like, but in the most recent one, you know, I kind of thought about it. To his credit, he said he made a very ill-informed or misinformed decision about voting for Trump. Now, this is not a knock on Trump voters. I'm just sharing what he actually said on

the show. And then he explained that he found out through one of these DNA services that he had always thought that he was white, but he was only 0.3% European and he was African, the rest of him was African. And so anyway, here's the point. There was another guy who said, hey, I admit I've cheated. There was another guy who said something about a past relationship that didn't work out, but it was toxic for both of us. Here's why I believe that they're saying that, not because they're trying to be truthful right up front, but because they know that the people out in the audience are going to dig in their past, some girl, some past relationship, if it's a girl, some past relationship. Yeah, they're going to come out. They're going to come out and they don't

want any surprises. They want to say it right out front. But I do believe, I don't think that the first 10 minutes are lies. I think the first 10 minutes we're trying to feel each other out and we're manipulating the conversation to be favorable for everybody. So I don't know if it's like, I don't think you say like, oh, I'm only 22 years old when I'm 36 years old. I don't think you say like, I'm six foot eight when I'm six foot one. I think you just try and like, you're really softening the edges to make sure that you, here's the reality. But that's honestly like why even in relationship, this is a very, of course, personal opinion,

but it almost like you really don't get to know the person like a hundred percent in reality until you actually live with them. Oh, for sure. Because it's like, that's when you start really seeing all this, like the quirks of what they really like or don't like or how they go by, you know, on a day to day basis, where just like dating, it's like, only if you really have deep conversations. I don't even think that works. But like, right. Yeah, you don't really know somebody until you sleep with them and they take up the entire

bed and they sweat all night long. And here's why I actually don't think you know somebody until you live with them. Because we are all by nature, you know the Japanese say, I was watching that show Shogun, and they were saying that men have three hearts. They have the heart in their mouth, that's the one they show the world. They have their heart in their chest, that's the one they only give to the friends and the ones they love. And then they have a heart deep down that is only for themselves. Right? So, everyone has, everyone has some part of them that they don't give up. But if you live with someone, it's hard not to see that part that they don't give up, but if you live with someone, it's hard not to see that part that they don't give up. It's almost kind of like the same, you know how people say like, when you travel, like even,

even not like in romantic relationship, but like travel with a friend. And then it's like, you really are testing if that's a true friendship. It's because, and it happened to me even when I was like, you know, like 15 years old, happened to me, even when I was like, you know, like 15 years old, you really travel for like a period of time with someone and spending every single day with them doing stuff, you know, picking where you're going to eat and all of that. And then you start like, Oh, I thought she was my friend. I thought she was my friend. I thought we had things in common. She only tips 5%. And the other thing is, is that Dr. Phil said this, and, you know, not the world's biggest Dr. Phil fan, even though he did a good job reading our commercials for us.

Not the most fan, but I do know everything he says. Yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of his, but I do have a few of his platitudes that he has shouted out over the years. And one of them is spend a week with someone while they have the flu, or while they're sick, then you will really get to know them because we show the ugliest side of us when we don't feel well. And I think that's true. I think that when you don't feel well, everything goes out the window and it's like your true self. So, I'm so surprised you're still with me because I've been sick for the last two years and you still haven't left me. Well, we do have 23 kids, so what about that? Well, I'm still waiting so that you reach that time where I can drop you off at the

senior living facility. Villages down in Florida, Christy and I down at the villages. Astrid's waiting for the commercial break to pay off. To pass it, yeah. She was hoping that Kamala Harris was going to choose to come to the commercial break instead of call her daddy. But... Right. I'm sure that was like a big debate within the team. Like, should we send her to call her daddy or to the commercial break?

To be honest and to be fair, I sent invitations to both candidates and neither of them responded. So that's why I got Austin, NASA to come in. That's why you got me instead. All right, let's take a break and we'll be back. Astor's got a good idea. We should talk about some fun facts that no one knows, like surprising facts. I think that's a good idea. Surprising facts, not about us because you already know everything about me, but all right, we'll be back. We'll take a break. My darlings, my angels, my sweet little cherubs. It's that time again where I try to convince you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. We really don't post that much so it's no skin off your nose.

If you'd like to get in touch with us directly, you can text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB. You know we are just sitting by the phone waiting with bated breath for you to call, so please leave us an Ask TCB and we'll give you some mildly concerning advice. Peace and blessings. All right, we're back. Astrid tells me that she has some surprising facts she thinks I need to know about life and the love and the pursuit of happiness.

And so go ahead Astrid, your segment, take it away. Giving up control of the only woman in my life that can just bowl me over. Astrid You know, we all have, I mean, almost every household has a hallucinogen, is that how you say it? Jared A hallucinogen, yeah. Astrid Yeah, In their pantries. Jared Sienaar Oh, well, I should have taken it out given

that we had children, but I'm sorry I left the, I'm sorry I left Academy. Beth Dombkowski No, it's nutmeg. Nutmeg is that how... Jared Sienaar Oh, nutmeg is a hallucinogen. Beth Dombkowski I had no idea. Jared Sienaar Baby, this is crazy. Did you know that there are kids, there was a TikTok challenge going around for a while, kids to eat like a whole thing of nutmeg to get high. Beth Dombkowski Oh, yeah.

Jared Sienaar And there were children who died, died, because they were eating a whole thing of nutmeg. It's like eating a whole cinnamon. Look, like it said, what I- Whole can of cinnamon. What I said, what I read is like, nutmeg has hallucinogenic effects that when consuming large amounts, you can have symptoms like mild to intense hallucinations, disorientation, giddiness, stupor? Jared Slauson Stupor, yeah.

Elie Wies Euphoria and feelings of levitation. Jared Slauson Levitation. Okay, next time Reggie Watts comes on, we're eating the nutmeg. I'm calling Reggie right away. All right, I have a surprising fact for you. You want me throw one at you? Okay. Due to the brain being able to monitor your every movement and anticipation of upcoming sensations, you are unable to tickle yourself. I don't think that that's true. That is true. No, it is true. You don't think you can tickle your own feet?

No. When you tickle your own feet, it doesn't tickle? No. Yeah, no. It is true. I don't know. I think this your own feet? No. When you tickle your own feet, it doesn't tickle? Yeah, no. It is true. I don't know. I think this is a little bit false. I think I can tickle my own feet. I'm not going to do it here on the commercial break.

No one wants to see my feet. Well, you can quickly, you know. Well, no, I can't tickle under my armpits, but I'm not very ticklish in the first place. Look, no, it is true. I feel like if I was to put my foot, like when I'm in the shower and I'm doing all my 3000 rituals. Or three hour long. Yeah, my three hour long, my three hour long stay away from the children.

And wife. And wife. When I do that, you know that, what do they call that thing? The pumice? That stone that you rub on your feet to make it smooth. I feel like when I rub that certain ways, it tickles my feet. Yeah, okay, but you're now, oh my gosh, you're breaking the statement. You're using a tool. That doesn't count. It's you yourself with your hands. Well, it doesn't say you can't use a tool, it just says you can't tickle yourself. It didn't say you couldn't use something to tickle yourself. It's with your, how do you tickle somebody? So, when you're going to tickle the kids,

you actually go to the bathroom, grab your pumice. Yes, I grab the pumice. And I'm like, kids, I'm going to tickle you. That's not how you tickle somebody. Okay, all right, fair enough. I do feel like if I scratch, my feet are so sensitive, I feel like if I tickled my feet in a certain way, that I would actually tickle myself. I don't think this is true. I think it is true.

It's a scientific fact. And I actually can state that you cannot tickle yourself, even though you're saying that you can. Okay, well, I'm gonna try it later and we'll see what happens. Okay. And I want to record it for an Instagram read. Oh, no, no, no, no. So that people start following on Instagram. I know. Lots of people follow us on Instagram. No one follows us on Instagram. That Instagram is miserable.

Beth Dombkowski Yeah, but I wonder like, why would be the, you know, like, why, like, what's the point on us not being able to tickle ourselves? Is it like for safety purposes? Jared Ranere Because our brain, no. I think what they're stating, I think, this is another hypercalcified statement coming out of my brain. I think what they're saying is you, your body already anticipates your own movements and your own sensations. Yeah, you kind of know the information.

If you, you know, at a certain age, probably 10, if you grab your arm, you know what that sensation is going to feel like and you anticipate it before it even happens. It's just like watching a needle go into your arm. You already know what that feels like. There's no surprise. Right. Like there's no point to... Yeah. I love tickling the kids. It's like one of my favorite, it's like one of the joys of life. It's actually considered kind of torture.

Torture? Yeah. They don't seem to mind it. Well, I'm just saying. Who considers tickling torture? What in the good fuck are we talking about? The parenting gurus on Instagram are saying... I'm faced with it. It sounds more like a face-foot thing. They're gonna come at you.

Okay. All right. All right. I'm done with it. You gotta stop once the kid says, no more. Well... At first. At the first no more point. Okay. We have one particular child who says, stop, stop, stop, and then the second you stop, says, do it again, do it again. And it's, it's so, I think that, you know, it's, it's hard to read a three-year-old or a four-year-old and what their intentions are based on that. All right, give me another surprising fact, and I'll make a decision about whether or not

I'm going to continue to torture our children. This was, okay, in some places, dying is illegal. Isn't that ridiculous? Dying? Give me a place where dying is illegal. I'll give you more information, yes. In Italy, since March of 2012, it has been illegal to die in Falciano del Massico. The current mayor issued a legal decree stating it is forbidden with immediate effect to all

citizens residents in the municipality of, you know, Falsiano, the Massico, and to whoever passes by its territory to cross the border of earthly life and to enter the afterlife. What? What? Right, what? Okay, hold on. Do they have a problem with people coming there and committing harikari or something, like offing themselves, unaliving themselves, as the kids would say?

It says then that this decree was issued because the commune's cemetery is currently full and the deceased must be buried in the nearby town of Mondragon. And apparently I read a little bit more on this because I thought that was actually funny. Like, how can you make dying, like, oh, and what happens also? Okay, I died there. What are they going to do? Sue the death? Jared Sussman Well, no, they sue your... Elie Wiesman The deceased? Jared Sussman Yeah. Elie Wiesman They're going to sue them? Jared Sussman Well, I actually think I know about this. What they do is they,

if you die there, then your family has to pay to have you, like, FedEx, like, shipped to another Elie Wiesman To where it's legal to die. Jared Suss. Yes, you have to pay for UPS next day. And also, in Norway, I mean, there's multiple places around the world, but these are two I read about. But you and I have been to Europe a lot, right? But not to this way. No, not to this place. Well, just follow me on this.

We've been to Europe a lot, and we've been to Italy. And Italy is a country, like a lot of other countries in Europe, that is really saturated with a lot of open space, punctuated by very tight villages, right? Villages that are, everybody's on top of each other, essentially. But those villages can be tiny. They could be like, I don't know, half a mile long. And then everything's kind of right around that main street, and that's it. How could they run out of space for a cemetery? There's not another place for a cemetery? Is that one more place for a cemetery? Isn't that downtown New Orleans? I don't know. I have no idea. You need to find the information because now I'm all concerned. Well, the other place, it's in Norwegian town,

but it's actually an archipelago. So, it's like a very small island. Okay, that's a different story. That it's halfway between Norway and the North Pole. Oh. And it's the- Has frozen ground? Right, it's actually very interesting the reason why. It is so called that dying has been illegal there since 1950, when locals discovered that bodies weren't decomposing in the cemetery because of the frigid weather.

Okay, that I can understand. Do you know why, we've been to New Orleans one time, right? Okay, remember we went by some of those cemeteries and everyone's up off the ground and they're in those caskets that are sitting up off the ground? Because it floods. Because it floods and when it floods, the bodies come floating up. And actually during Hurricane Katrina, which was terrible, they had bodies that were coming out of the ground, which is just awful to think about. But that I can understand. Like, if you can't bury someone because they don't decompose because the ground is frozen, and then every once in a while a body just…

Right, like that's the scientific reasoning behind it. But still, I just, to me, it's just… Silly. Silly. Like the statement of like, oh, okay, what if somebody dies in there? What happens then? Like, what are the consequences of doing something illegal? Like dying. There's no consequences of dying. Never thought dying was illegal. Dying is the one thing that is consequence-free. It might hurt for the people around you, but it's consequence-free to you, I assume, because nothing happens after that. I mean, or depending on what you believe.

Well, I mean, depending on what you believe, you could go to hell. Oh, I'm definitely going to hell. Well, actually, I think I'm going to heaven because I saved Peaches. I think Peaches is my one ticket. And why, good thing you brought this up. Why do you tell your listeners that the squirrel was named Peaches? That's not how we named her. You named it Peaches. Peach one, not Peaches.

Peach? Yeah, and I told you. Babe, Peach is not a name. The kitten I- Hey Peach, Peaches. No. Peaches is a name. That's how, a name is a name.

People name their kids Storm and North and South and whatever. Okay, well, that's not a name to me. Take a vote. I want to hear 2124333TCB. No, say it on Instagram. Or Peach. Well, I already said it on Instagram. It's Peaches.

I called it Peaches. No, meaning ask people to DM us on Instagram. All right, DM us on Instagram because Astrid wants to increase engagement on Instagram. You're always thinking about the show and I do appreciate that. But Peaches is a better name and I already named it on Instagram. All right, DM us on Instagram, because Astrid wants to increase engagement on Instagram. You're always thinking about the show and I do appreciate that. But Peaches is a better name and I already named it on Instagram. No, it's Peach. Okay, it's already out there for the world to see, Peaches. And by the way, Peaches is a-

But Peaches is multiple. It's plural. I know it's multiple Peaches, but we're not talking about the fruit. It's just in my Spanish speaking brain that doesn't even make sense. It's like if you were called Brian's. Well, it could be called Brian's. Well, it could be called Brian's. You can call me Brian's. All right, let me tell you a fun fact. Ready? Okay, here we go. Oh, I had it. One second.

Okay, here it is. Before becoming arguably the world's most famous rapper, Kanye West worked as a telemarketer. As a telemarketer. What is it like people who call you selling stuff? Yes, who call you trying to sell you stuff, trying to convince you to buy some shitty product, your car insurance, you know, your warranty is out. But why is this like a fun fact? It's a fun fact. I don't think you knew.

Did you know? No, I didn't know for sure, but I don't find it like really surprising. I find it surprising that Kanye West managed to do anything before he became a rapper. Have you seen him and his girlfriend running around Italy, him and his whatever they are, Bianca Sorensen? Yeah, I saw a picture today on Instagram and I actually don't know like, actually information, but I saw a picture and honestly, I think she really looks so much like Kim Kardashian, like her face.

I don't know, I saw the picture and I was like, wow, she really looks like Kim. I get the comparisons. There is an essence that is very Kim K-ish, but I actually think Bianca is prettier than Kim Kardashian. Oh, yeah, she is. For sure. By like a mile. Well, she doesn't have as many fillers.

Oh my God. In my opinion, that's what I thought. And listen, no shame if you use fillers and that's why you, that's fine. It's up to you, but I just personally, I find it that when he's not too, you know. You know, I have this like, you know, our Instagram algorithm is on spot. I mean, it is so hot. I love our Instagram. Like when I'm throwing through reels, I'll oftentimes get, you know, reels with one view. By on spot, you mean like crazy ridiculous? Yes, crazy ridiculous. Well, that's what I want.

I want crazy ridiculous. I don't want to see what everybody else is seeing. I want to see the people out there. There's a lot of unwell people out there, and I want to see what they're doing on Instagram. But there's this one, I don't know how this came into our algorithm, but now I'm fascinated by it. There's this one doctor who is hundreds of thousands of followers, was a former, like, Botox filler user herself, and she's a plastic surgeon. And now she is doing nothing but talking about the dangers and the downsides of fillers and Botox and other things like

that. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't or you should, Botox babies, she's talking a lot about filler babies, kids, children, 16, 17, 18 years old, that their parents are allowing them to go get Botox, to get these fillers, to make them look better. And with the negative side effects it's now having, like how the fillers move around your face. You are putting some kind of chemicals in your body.

And she keeps showing these nightmare stories and these nightmare pictures. And it's really fucking scary. And it makes me go, you know, maybe I just get old. Maybe I'm just going to get old. Maybe that's okay. No, I think I'm okay with that. Okay. Despite it being like, of course, an external thing that you put into your body, I think I'm okay with like people who do Botox and stuff just to kind of like as a skincare routine, routine kind of thing, you know, to prevent like deep wrinkles and that kind of stuff. I just personally don't find like actual fillers, like, you know, people who inject their lips and make them look like balloons. I don't find that attractive.

She's been saying how Botox first of all is a neurotoxin, so it's very dangerous to you. But second of all, can actually work against you when it comes to those wrinkles, because of the way that Botox works. It basically paralyzes the muscle. Yeah, but it wears off, my understanding. It wears off, but when it wears off, apparently over time, those wrinkles become worse and worse, and you need more neurotoxin in order to kill it, and it's just like, those wrinkles become worse and worse and you need more neurotoxin in order to kill it. And it's just like, it's a never ending cycle. And that some people, I mean, it makes sense. Yeah. And that some people have such bad reactions

to Botox that it's like, it's scary. It's like, it's like Russian roulette. It's not a game worth playing. Now that's her personal opinion. And I get it. Speaking of fillers, have you seen those two girls that were on 90 day Fiancé, DRC and Stacey? Have you seen them lately? Irrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. That is... Oh yeah, I said it in Spanish. You said it in Spanish. Yeah, but that was kind of cute actually.

In Spanish it's irreconocible. Yeah, irreconocible. What was that? What did you say? Irreconocible. What? Unrecognizable. Okay, say it again. Irrecognizable? What did you say? Irrecognizable. Irrec... What? Unrecognizable. Okay, say it again.

I'm gonna learn it. Irrecognizable. Irrecognizable? Irrecognizable? Yep. Oh, okay. Look at me. I'm learning Spanish here.

Look at you. You're improving your R pronunciation in Spanish. I used to be good at it, and then I lost it, and now I'm getting it back again. It's hard for you Americans to pronounce our R's. Yeah, it wasn't hard for me at first and then it got hard when I tried to do it. But, irreconcible. Okay, we're going to go see if it's illegal to die in dog world here and where we live

and we'll be back in a few minutes. That fucking dog. What are we going to do about that dog, babe? I don't know. Maybe we should give it away in a... As a prize? T.C.B. Yeah, we're going to do a T.C.B. raffle.

Blue. If you want thousands of dollars worth of medical bills. We'll sponsor, no, we'll sponsor the vet bills and the food. Oh, I happily pay the vet bills. The thing is, I cannot, for the life of me, think about harm or the dog not being here. Do you know what I'm saying? At the end of the day, when I-

Well, I do think you can- I can. I can imagine life without her, but I can't imagine the process of, like we've talked about this. Yeah, I know, me too. I feel the same. I can't think about the process of giving her away. That's this. Yeah, I know, me too. I feel the same. I can't think about the process of, you know, giving her away.

That's just, my mind won't let me go there. Well, listen, maybe we can do some therapy about that. Okay. Well, therapy is never a bad thing. All right, let's take a break and we'll be back. I know this sounds crazy because we are a podcast, but we have a phone number, because we are also a Sendian AI chatbot being designed to receive compliments and content ideas at 212-433-3TCB. So crazy how that works.

If you want to follow us on Instagram, our handle is at the commercial break and our TikTok handle is at TCB Podcast, so go find our profile and watch the videos we painstakingly put together for you and our 20 other followers. If you find yourself wanting more, check out our website at tcbpodguest.com because you can find all of our audio and full length video episodes. And if you just do all of those things, we will love you forever. Bye. Okay. Long running has been the debate in this house. Not a debate, but a conversation going on. And it becomes apparently clear when you have a mixed race family or a mixed

heritage family, let's put it that way. When you're in a mixed family, multicultural, when you are in a multicultural relationship, you start to understand that there clearly are differences based on where you happen to be born, where the universe put you when you first came here. One of those things is humor. Humor is different for everybody around the world. What's funny in Amsterdam may not be funny here in the United States. What's funny in England may not be funny here in the United States. Certainly what's funny in Venezuela is different than what's funny here in Georgia. Certainly, what's funny in Venezuela is different than what's funny here in Georgia. And so, I would like to now conduct an experiment live here on air, where I'm going to tell

Astrid the base of the base jokes, what we would consider just like the meat and potato jokes of the United States. Question. Yes. Answer. Oh, do you say that jokes? Jokes? I didn't say that jokes.

Oh, sorry. But go ahead. Well, I was going to say that I think the meat and potatoes of jokes, where we all start to learn, not all of us, but most of us start to learn some sense of humor, are the silly jokes that are patriarchal in the family. Your grandfather, your uncle, your dad, the guy next door, if that was how you grew up strangely, that the guy next door was telling you jokes. You know, some dude saying stupid jokes that were not supposed to be funny, but ended up being funny, dad jokes. It's a thing. They're funny because they're so bad. They're so bad. They're funny.

They're funny. But why? Yes. I think this, just the title, dad jokes, kind of like shows a cultural difference, per se. Because like, why you guys named it Dad Jokes? It's like you're being nice about it. You know how we call them in Spanish? Bad jokes. It's like, we're upfront about it. Like, they're bad. Right? Like, we're just like, they're bad jokes. They're bad jokes. Bad jokes are bad jokes.

And also, why dad, like, okay, so a mom cannot say a bad joke? No, you're not understanding, like, here's the premise, right? The premise is, it's like a cultural thing. It's passed down from, you know, dad wearing long shorts and white socks hiked up to his calves to dads to dad wearing. You've seen those commercials, like they're prudential commercials or something, you know, don't become your parents. And have you seen those commercials where the guy's like trying to convince people not to become their parents by like talking about the weather and, you know, okay. It's the same premise is that for some reason, all fathers in the United States start telling these silly,

corny jokes in an effort to connect with their children, to be impressive to the, you know, the friends of the children. I don't know, it's just something that happens to us. We all of a sudden start telling these kind of baseline jokes. And at least I had my grandfather used to do this, my other grandfather used to do this, my other grandfather used to do this, my dad on occasion would do this. He's not really a joke guy, but on occasion he would come up with a bad joke. Uncles used to do it. I mean, just older gentlemen, I remember saying these silly, lame, stupid jokes that were clearly silly and not all that funny in the moment, but it always seemed to come from the males in the family, the older males in the family, especially when I was young, young, like under the age of

13 years old. I don't know. I guess a lot of people had that experience and that's why they call it dad jokes. But you're right. It could just be called bad jokes and that would be it too. But what I'd like to do is conduct an experiment where I give you a number of dad jokes. And I'm going to see if I can make you laugh with these dad jokes. These dad jokes are well known, they're well worn. I think one or two of them is gonna make you pop. Are you ready? Okay, yes.

Okay. What do you call a fake noodle? A fake noodle. An impasta. That's right. He does. Hehehehehe. Okay, how do you make an artichoke?

You choke the... Ah, you strangle it, see? Okay, don't think about it too much. Don't get too cerebral on me, or we're going to ruin the whole segment. Why did the tomato blush? I don't know. Because it saw the salad dressing. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they have special powers. Because they're such fungies. Fun guys.

Yes, yes, yes. What did one plate whisper to the other plate. Dinner is on me. So silly. Did you hear about the famous pickle? No. He was a big dill. What do you call a nosy pepper? Oh, wait, hold on one second.

I lost that one. A nosy pepper? Oh, wait, hold on one second. I lost that one. Nicole Sussman A nosy pepper. Jared Sussman Yes. What do you call a nosy pepper? Nicole Sussman A lading? Jared Sussman Hold on one second. Nicole Sussman Because we're very nosy? Jared Sussman Oh, that's true. You are. A jalapeno business. Nicole Sussman Okay, hold on one second. I have another. Lauren Ruffin I think I don't even understand that one.

Jared Svelte I don't understand that one either. But I thought it was funny. Why do April showers bring May flowers? Oh, April showers bring May flowers. But what do May flowers bring? Lauren Ruffin I don't know. Jared Svelte Pilgrims. How do you make a tissue dance? A tissue dance? You put a boogie in it. What is a funny mountain called?

Hilarious. Oh my God. But you did also like, found like the actual worst. I found the worst of the worst. Like there's a bat. Yes. Okay. What do you call a song about a tortilla? A rap song? Jared

I actually think that's really funny. Why is it bad to iron a four leaf clover? You never want to press your luck. What keys unlock a banana? Monkeys. What's blue and doesn't weigh much? Our dog. Light blue.

Oh, the color. Yes. Where did you, what happened to the frog that parked illegally? It got towed. I feel like I'm boring the listeners because I don't laugh. Yeah, you don't find these funny, do you? No. Okay, tell me if you have Venezuelan.

I have just one for you. It's not Venezuelan. It's a dad joke. It's a dad joke. Okay. But I just found it very pop culture appropriate. Okay, go. Hold on.

I don't know about him. Okay. My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said, maybe. Okay, that's terrible. That is terrible, babe. That is really bad. I thought that was cute. Are there any Venezuelan jokes that like, you don't have any of those like one-liner like set up punchline

kind of jokes. I try that, but translating a joke kills a joke. It really does. And like you were saying, it is true, like humor, it's very cultural related because I feel like humor around the world, it's based mainly in like our, I'm not sure if this is a word in English, but I'm going to try, like idiosyncrasies. Yes, in our idiosyncrasies. So it's very like particular to, I mean, even within countries, within regions, depending

on how big, you know, inner cultural difference are in some countries. But so I think that's part of it. And honestly, it's a common, like I do have a lot of friends that are also immigrants, not here in the US, but all around the world. And that's what we always talk about this. And you find if you were to immigrate, you know, to Japan, I'm sure you, the humor you would consume would be mainly American humor. Like you would be on YouTube watching the comedians you like or, and it's weird, but

and listen, that's not to say that I cannot, like I've gone to plenty of comedy shows with you here with Americans and I do laugh. Like I do find it funny. But there are some jokes always, and you know this, in every single show there are parts of the shows that it's like, it's almost like I don't get it, but I just don't get it because I'm not, I wasn't born and raised here. So it's just, I don't know, it's just different. You know, there's an old saying that all real estate is local or all politics is local, right? I actually think that all humor is local.

And I think if you really want to get to know a culture, know the comedians in that culture, know their comedy, and then you can really understand because this is so true. And this is just like a, this is a very flat blunt example because it's in its timely example. A Trump joke, right, might not go over well in the middle of Arkansas, but maybe in New York it's funny, right? Just because of the differences in thinking and the cultural attitudes and moods. And also even like, at least in Venezuela, for example, we do have a lot of like jokes that are based on like, we make fun of certain states.

Of course. And I'm sure here it's the same, right? I'm not sure which, well, I don't know, people joke about Florida or stuff like that. But yeah, that. So, if you're not, I don't know, you really have to be in tune with the culture to find it funny. And again, there's actually, like there are some podcasts that I listen to that you know about and they're Venezuelan podcasts or hosted by Venezuelans. And they do, sometimes when they're talking about humor,

they have looked up to big American comics, right? So that's not to say like, it cannot be funny. Of course, I watched Saturday Night Live, for example, with you and I laugh with a lot of the sketches, right? But there's always some stuff that I'm like, okay, whatever. Yeah, you know, I never really thought about that.

Like Saturday Night Live has to have a very broad appeal because it's popular all over the United States, right? Where if you go to a comedy show here in Atlanta with a local comedian, it's likely he's going to say things about, I don't know, Peachtree Street or the kids who go to school at whatever private school that we all know is full of, you know, rich brats or whatever it is. So, it can be a lot different from place to place and it's so local. You and, like, especially when Gustavo comes, sometimes he's laughing at, like, a Venezuelan comedian. He's trying to translate it to me. I don't find it funny. Not always, but mostly.

And that's why I said when you told me, like, oh, that's fine, you know, you find, like, Venezuelan dad jokes and I'm like, I did some research, but I was like, this is not going to go well. Like, I can translate them, but it's going to be just like me telling you a story. Like, okay, well, you know, translating a joke, almost like translating, interesting enough, artists who release songs in multiple languages, the song, it's always the best version of the song, it's the original language. Absolutely. It's like, for example, I'm a big Shakira fan and I,

and when she releases a song in English that was first released in Spanish, it really, it's actually, it can be comedy almost almost like it's like oh wow this is really bad Yeah, because it's like you're not like the message gets lost in the translation yeah, and I Think the same applies for comedy and yes Gustavo's here my brother and him and I are like cracking up about something And when we tell you you kind of look at us like we have you know you're like okay whatever that's not funny yeah I also just I also just judge your comedy taste in general same

it's fair enough a lot of people judge my comedy face thank you for coming on I love you for having me I love you dearly. Thanks for having me. I love you dearly. Just because you needed me. The audience loves you. Thank you. One of these days we're going to do an all-female version of the commercial break.

All-female? We're going to kick you? Yeah, just kick me out. You, Tina, Christina, Hoadley, Mary, y'all just come on. And bitch about you? Yeah. When I lose my voice in my parathyroid surgery, you can just come and bitch about me. Sounds fun. I'm sure a lot of people think so. If you'd like that episode, let me know. Maybe I'll put it together.

All right, for the rest of, really for the rest of October, we'll work, you know, you're gonna get a mixed bag here at the commercial break. You'll get best ofs. You'll get some with Astrid. Maybe you'll get one with Tina. Maybe one with Christina. I don't know. Who knows? A few with Hoadley. It's gonna be all over the place.

As I say, take some time to take care of myself. Thank you for all. Thank you to all the people who have been texting and sharing their concern about me. I'll be fine. Everything's gonna be okay. Prognosis is good. I just need to get it done. Once I get it done, I'm gonna feel much better.

Maybe the show will even get better. I think it will, actually, yes, because I think that my brain will stop being so foggy. I'll talk even faster than I do right now. All right, 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, ask TCB, we're taking them all! Right there, add that phone number. You can also leave a voice message if you're so brave, and some people have been doing

that. We've been getting some phone calls lately, which is... We're also sending out the possum stickers. Oh yes, we're sending out the possum stickers because I hate possums and so can you by going to TCBpodcast.com. And so can you hate us because we hate possums. Yes, you can hate us because we hate possums. At least one person really hated us because we hated possums.

But I saved a squirrel. So forgive me my sins. TCBpodcast.com. Hit the contact us button, drop down menu says I want my free sticker Give us your address and Astrid will send it away. Sorry. I know I'm late Had the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on tik-tok and YouTube comm slash the commercial break selected episodes and Interviews, I love you Astrid. Love you too. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time,

Astrid and I always say, we do say, we must say, goodbye! Oh, hell yeah!