The Commercial Break - Farewell Furry Tina!

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

Tina says farewell to TCB by talking all things Smokey, smoking, and wiping. Tina is leaving TCB Bryan’s always wrong A legislator is attacking the furries! Twisty relationships Let the brain run that train Smokey’s ‘gasms Some more of Smokey’s slutty lyrics “I fit in there” Old people should get drugs on demand! Normalize partying at a certain age Allergic to cocaine? Tina’s doing keto at taco bell How to wipe? Why can’t you guys just use a bidet? I told you so –Christina Bryan needs a phone holder on a bidet Ashtrays in the bathrooms Bryan & Tina lament being a smoker in today’s world LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   626.ASK.TCB3 text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Like this little guy had a change of heart backing out when they got to the top. I'd rather check myself before I wreck myself. On this episode of The Commercial Break. Open up, let me in. Let's me and you, let's begin. I fit in, I fit in there, I fit in there. Oh baby now, oh baby now, oh baby now. Can we be in heavy like? I fit in there, I fit in there. Oh baby now, oh baby now, oh baby now.

Can we be in heavy like? This is the most disgusting, putrid shit I've ever heard and it doesn't make any sense. Smokey. Stop. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah boy! Ah, cats again, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.

This is the dear friend of the commercial break, Tina. Tina, best to you. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Tina, joining us. Maybe not for One Last Hurrah, but maybe for One Last Hurrah, as Tina sails off into the sunset, flies the nest. Finally.

To go to Guy of the Unirong. to go to go be on our own. It only took you 43 years. Hey, listen, we all do it at some point. All in good time. All in good time. But you have been a friend and a supporter of the show. Maybe since episode number one. I don't know.

When did you start listening? Episode number one. Good for you. Maybe the only other person besides me who's listened to all episodes. I know Chrissy doesn't do it. She only does. She only listens every once in a moment. How do I know this?

Is because she'll text me. It should be like, oh my god, this is this episode. We're actually pretty funny. And I'm like, don't you listen to all the episodes now? Yeah, that was like two weeks ago. She's like, no, I was in them. I was in them, I know. I only listen for editing purposes, but I even get annoyed in my voice.

So what do you think is the biggest change since the first episode through now we're on whatever fast way past 400 episodes. Gosh, I don't know if I could pinpoint the biggest one for sure. The music. Oh, yeah. I love the I love the tunes. Yeah, me too. I can't get rid of them. I think about changing them every season, but then I'm like, why would I be like

Samford and sons changing. That's right. It's too good. It makes me happy when I hear it. Yeah. Well, I appreciate the support from the very beginning. Of course. I really do.

And you've been a dear friend of mine for decades and decades. And your love and support for the show is part of what has kept us going. Because certainly, at least at the very beginning, we had no one listening. So we would take any compliment. I remember listening to it and texting you, correcting you. You're like, that was days ago, Tina. Two weeks ago, Tina. Thanks. As if I was on the radio.

You're like, oh no, no, that's not it. People do that to me all the time. I have a friend who does that, another friend of mine who does that also. She's like, oh, I'm listening to your episode and by the way, this is incorrect. And I'm like, yeah, I know, I'm always in, I just have a bad brain, an actual fact. Or like you couldn't think of something and I would just hit you with it and you're like, this has no context, what are you? You know, are you okay? Did you give me this, did you say this?

I took this as a grand compliment, but someone said they, I think it was you, or maybe it was Alice and I can't remember. They said, you know how I know your show is really good? I'd listen and I'm in the car and I scream back at you. Like when you say something that's incorrect, I scream at you the car and I scream back at you. Like when you say something that's incorrect, I scream at you. Yeah. I scream back at you. You must do a lot of screaming in that car because I'm not sure I'm correct about anything. But you're moving

on to take a new job and congratulations. I say best to you, my friend. And you know, we'll keep up with you on this new venture. You're always welcome to call the show and we'll get you on and for certain circumstances. Like the following, I don't understand this. I really don't. I don't understand why a certain political faction in this country, and I would say that that would be extreme conservatives or more far right-leaning folks, why they are so goddamn hell bent on these kind of social causes that they take up,

just kind of beating on people who may not otherwise, the weakest among us, right? They beat them up. And let me give you an example of this. There is a senator who is now proposing a bill into law, or he's writing a bill into law, he wants to proposing a bill into law, or he's writing a bill into law, he wants to write a bill into law, that is attacking the furry community.

It basically says that in any federally funded school, you are not allowed to have any furry related activity. Do you remember way back at the beginning of the pandemic, we did like multiple episodes on these shithead politicians out there that were claiming that Pete that there were litter boxes in the school such psychosis it's psychosis it's sickening it's maddening now listen it happens on the left too and I'm so not sure but I'm talking about this one thing right now I'm not talking about the sickness on the left I'm talking about this one thing right now. I'm not talking about the sickness on the left.

I'm talking about the sickness on the right, which is to take up social causes that affect absolutely nobody because it's not happening. There are no litter boxes in fucking schools. No will there ever be. I have yet to see a picture of a eighth grader pissing in a litter box. Can you imagine a school district actually okaying that?

I mean, just think about the health and sanitation. Get out of here. It would never happen. It would never happen. It's state funded, county funded, it's government funded. It's never, there's never gonna happen. Janitors are not walking in and putting cat litter boxes in there so that people can dress up.

And how damaged do you have to be to believe that could actually be happening? You really have to have some screws fucking loose. You know, I watch like this channel five or some of these, you know, kind of the guys that are calling out some of the hypocrisy on all sides of the defense, right? These- That's the stuff I like. Yeah, that's the stuff I like.

Yeah, everyone. Like South Park, right? That's right. Those tackle anybody. And I tend to agree with almost everything. Because if there's one thing that I hate, it's not the Republicans or the Democrats or the Independents, it's the fucking hypocrisy. That's what I hate. and it happens on all ends of the spectrum. And this drives me crazy, because they're not putting fucking liquor

at litter boxes in the school and I highly doubt. Will they ever? Yes, and I highly doubt that anybody who chooses to dress as a furry or likes that activity or it's their hobby would take a dump in a litter box at their school because they think that, who's thinking that way? Who's doing that? No one, no one.

There's never been one janitor, not one photograph, not one iota of evidence that anybody has ever put a litter box in a school bathroom because the furries need to use the litter box. First of all, second of all, if it was to happen that someone took a picture of a litter box in a school, that in and of itself would be the joke. You don't get it they don't get it these old fucking ass clowns making laws that don't affect anybody And so what do you mean no for it like Chuck E cheese can't come to the school like no

No, no, that's that's the thing the frog whatever the frogs Okay, the bear Fausty the fire frog Do you remember that bit by Mitch Hedberg? That's what I'm referencing. It was my favorite. It was like, smokey. I do not understand why they put smokey the bear as a fire prevention tool.

Because I am scared of bears. If I had a fire in the forest, I would run away from a bear, leaving the fire unattended. However, if I saw a frog, I would saw a frog, he would settle near me. Maybe he could sit next to me. We could talk about how to properly put out a fire. I don't know. Frosty the fire frog. Mitch Hedberg was so good. I loved him. He was so good. Let's see this. Okay, I'll read this. Do you want me to read this to you? Do it. A Republican in this state want, excuse me, it's the state, not the not a senator, not a federally funded school, state funded schools. Justin Humphrey, an Oklahoma legislator who once said trans people are

mentally ill is pushing debunked right wing talking point. A Republican legislator in Oklahoma who once said that transgender people have a mental illness introduced a bill this week that would allow animal services to remove students who identify themselves as furries. Did you hear what I just said? This doesn't make any sense. Animal services to allow, they would allow animal services to remove students who identify as furries.

What in the good fuck? He doesn't even know what a furry is then because the kid is not identified, you don't identify as a furry. You dress up like a furry. That's right, they like to dress up. That's like saying a clown is a different animal or something, this doesn't make any sense to me.

Clown related services is gonna come take you away. If you identify as a cat, that's different. That's not a furry, we talked about this. Oh my God, this drives me absolutely. Me too, it makes my brain just- Bonkers. current to spaghetti and then the rage starts building. Yes. Like bring me this person please. It makes my brain just current to spaghetti and then the rage starts building. Yes.

Like bring me this person, please. It drives me absolutely fucking bonkers. And then let me point out some hypocrisy on the other side too. We're all upset because everyone's in the world is upset because the Republicans, you know, attack Joe Biden for, you know, speaking slowly, looking this way, looking that way, looking old,

got one eye the droops or whatever. He is old. He is.. He is. I'm glad to say. Yeah, it's, I honestly think there's some new blood that needs to go in there. But then Donald Trump waves to somebody, did you see this? No. He waves outside of one of the trials.

He's got a rash on his hand and people are like, oh, he's full of syphilis. He's got, you know, he's like Al Capone. He's going crazy in his old age. He's got syphilis because there's probably a fucking rash on his hand. Leave the guy alone. He burnt himself cooking some fried chicken. It's a reaction to the COVID vaccine.

You heard that. Which he got by the way. Right. Yeah. But the vaccine doesn't work. I mean, come on guys. I know. We gotta stop all this.

We got so many big, we got so many problems in this fucking country. And just think about things before you attach yourself to it. Just give it one moment of thought. Yeah, and so our good friend, Justin Humphries, in Oklahoma, best to you, my friend, because you are really wasting your fucking time

in the taxpayers money. Having nothing better to do. Animal services is gonna come remove children from school because they dress up like an animal. I double dog dare you to have it. Double dog dare you to do that and see how well it goes for you, Justin. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So and I just don't understand why they take up these social causes that obviously go nowhere. It's like the abortion thing. He created one that doesn't even a social cause. Right. I mean, no one is asking for furries to be removed from school and no one's saying we don't want them here. Furries are the funnest, sweetest. I mean, dress up. My kids got a little bear hat. My kids got a little bear hat. My kids has a little bear hat. It looks so fucking cute. Where's it to school every day?

They're not telling you there are a panda bear or an Ewok. You know, they're just like, look at my hat. I think these people take up these causes because they believe that it's going to bring them press. Right? I think that's one of the reasons. Well, it worked. It worked. It brought him press.

You got on the commercial break buddy. Yeah, you got on the commercial break and you've been in now thousands of news articles and news magazines and probably local media everywhere. But the question is, how does that make you look? Like it makes you look, yes, you mentally ill. It makes you look mentally ill. Like you're sitting at home at night concerned that there-

Is this spiraling out of control? Yeah, there is. Of these kids who like to dress up in, that don't exist by the way, because you can't wear that to school. Which school is allowing you to dress fully masked in a fully masked raccoon? Yeah, you can't even, yeah.

They have to carry clear backpacks, or certainly not let them wear pursuits to biology. If you have to go through a metal detector and a pat down to get to school, then you're certainly not wearing a full raccoon suit. You're not. This is a suit to school. That's not a suit.

He's worried about people fornicating and having little furry babies. Out of control. Totally and completely out of control. And I just wish that, I wish that we would address the real problems in this country, like the actual problems in this country, like debt and homelessness and, you know,

comprehensive immigration reform. Yeah, and all that other stuff that really needs to be addressed. But no, he's sitting there wasting the time of everybody in that in that Oklahoma legislature He is wasting their time. Yeah, I get a little control to remove you know Family violence offenders from the home because those are the real animals. No, no, no, no We yeah, but that's let's not talk about that. Let's sweep that under the rug because that's not a real problem Tina

That's one that's just right right right. That just happens every third hour We're not That's happens every third hour. That just happens every third hour. We're worried about something I read on TikTok. This is what happens when you let old white men get on TikTok. That's all I'm gonna say. Speaking of old white men, me. On TikTok.

Oh, you know, I wanted to... Do you read... You may not or may have heard this episode. We had an Ask TCB where someone wrote in and they said that they're, they were thinking about getting with their husband's best friend after they had divorced. And what should we do? Or she had gotten with, she had slept with her husband's

best friend, her and her husband divorced. So I like kind of related but unrelated. I was reading about cheating related activities online when I was doing homework for this. And I found a story that I think is crazy and apparently is more common than we would otherwise think. And that is sleeping with your mother-in-law, father-in-law. So I read an article that was a TikToker who had 1.2 million views on this TikTok

live that she did. In that TikTok live, she shared that she got a divorce from her husband about a decade ago because he was having an affair with her mother for like a long time. So her mom moved in under some circumstances, then she got an apartment right down the street and then the husband and her were always doing something. They were, oh, they were commuting together to work because they worked in the same area of town. And the grandparents, her grandparents knew about this

the whole time because they had not only had the mother confessed to her mother that she was sleeping with her daughters. Yeah, with her son-in-law? Yeah, with her son-in-law. But then apparently they had walked in a few times, caught them holding hands or in otherwise compromising positions, and the grandparents never said anything to their granddaughter. And so I was like, holy shit, this is a crazy story if you really think about this. Like, you're sleeping with your mother-in-law. That's insane.

That's mommy issues to the nth degree. Oh, degree. Oh, I mean, what kind of family drama? And so, but that article then had links to Reddit posts that then had links to other Reddit posts. I must have read 30 different posts, various places in the Internet, where people were either confessing that they had done this or were saying that this had been done to them, like their significant other had slept with their in-laws. We talked where people were either confessing that they had done this or were saying that this had been done to them. Like they, their significant other had slept with their in-laws. We talked about it, you talked about it

on one early episode with the party. Remember in the mom like put the boy to bed? Oh yeah, that's right. But that was a- But they didn't actually have an in-laws. They weren't in-laws. No, they did, they slept together. But it was a teacher.

Oh. Remember the teacher was at the party. Wasn. Remember the teacher was at the party? Wasn't a teacher that was at the party? No, the mom didn't like the boy that her daughter was marrying. And at the engagement party, they were wealthy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she put him in bed and took a compromising position. Oh, that was crazy.

Nothing happened, but the daughter thought it did. The daughter thought it did. Because this happens frequently. There's a couple of TV shows. Did you watch Obsession? It has to be frequently running through our culture because this TV show obsession very hot by the way But that's what it is the girl is being introduced to her future husband's family and she starts having an affair with his dad No, really, but it's creepy. Yeah, it's hot. It's hot. But like to think about it

It's like people really do this. It's like a story line, like a subplot of 50 shades of gray. Or is that Christian Gray? Christian Gray slept with his mother's best friend. Is that what it was? OK. But that's also we it's also weird. It's so strange. Brothers and best friends and fathers and all limits, all limits, all limits. There's plenty of people out there. There's plenty of people out there.

There's lots of people out there. I see them every day. I scream at them and traffic frequently. I've pissed at them all the time. Pissed at everybody all the time. If you're another human being in my way for any reason whatsoever, I'll act nice to you. But in the back of my brain,

I'm really pissed off that you're in my way. That's what I'm saying. But there are plenty of human beings out there. You don't have to sleep with your in-laws I'm really pissed off that you're in my way. You know what I'm saying? But there are plenty of human beings out there. You don't have to sleep with your in-laws and or brothers, sisters, cousins. Just stay out of the family. How about one fuck per family?

That's my friend and I were just talking about this yesterday. She's like introduced a guy that she started seeing to her friend group and he decided he didn't want to see her anymore because he wants to date her friend. And she was like, no, go find your own friends. Yes like no and there's an understanding amongst the group of friends Like we bring a dude into the circle like that's it. Yes, you don't sleep with my friends No, you have plenty of this is a big city. Yeah go it's a big city

But it's a small city, but it's big enough that you don't have to sleep in the same friend circle You can move to a different friend, right? Don't make your own now. I get that I think I get the friend circle thing But family members you shouldn't even have to a different circle. That's right. Go make your own. Now I get that. I think I get the friend circle thing, but family members. You shouldn't even have to talk about it. No, no. Kevin and I slept with the same person once, I think. Not at the same time, but. It made an impact, right?

Oh, you betcha. See, it was like a whole row for a year. It's a whole no-no. It's a whole no-no. And I don't know what I was thinking. Like I think Kevin dated her first if I'm not mistaken. And then I dated her Months and months later, but it still caused a big row because of course it was sure yeah

Listen at that point weird young men like we're you know you're figuring out that's a no no yeah I was just happy you have to learn the hard way. It's just happy anybody was willing to take their shirt off in front of me I was like yes, but yes, but did you imagine if she slept with your dad? No! I mean brain damage, something's wrong. You go to therapy for a long time. Yeah. If someone is sleeping with your, especially someone you slept with is then sleeping with your parents. Oh my gosh. I can't even imagine. And I don't think there's any circumstance upon which I think that's

okay. None. It's not the hud, wunth with the hud, wunth. You put your upon which I think that's okay. None. It's not the, what the hell, what the hell, what? Put your dick back in your pants, dude. Yeah. You don't, you do not have to sleep with someone's mother. You don't have to do that. Let the brain run that train. That's a good one, I like that.

Thanks. But it's apparently so prevalent. And when I say so prevalent, I mean, I found 30s. It's crazy. 30 separate instances. Now this is online and people can be making up shit, right? But even the fact that we're talking about it, like it's in the ethos, makes me think it's happening a lot more than we think it is. That's how I felt when I watched Obsession. Yeah.

This must be happening. Because somebody's writing about it. Yeah. And it got made into a television series that now millions of people may watch. Correct. Insane. Ew. And it got made into a television series that now millions of people may watch correct insane You I don't ever actually I don't think I've ever Dated a girl where I was attracted to the mother. Yeah, cuz we're not built like that. No, well, we're not built like that Right, but most people I mean as just if you think about biology, right? Yeah looking to procreate It's just all propagation of your DNA correct Grandma's not gonna you you know, yeah.

It's not doing it for me. It's not, yeah. Yeah, with the young one, not the old one. This is how I feel about Smokey Robinson and his damn gassums. I don't want to think about him having a gass. I don't want to think about, no, I'm afraid his face is gonna fall off. That guy looks weird. I knew you as grandpa before. It's worse now. Like, I don't want to picture you in a sexual situation because at a certain age,

certain ages are off limits You're so right about this smokey Robinson was a mainstay on my grandmother's turntable Yes, he was grandpa when I was a kid. That's correct now. He's great great grandpa. I don't know he's talking about he's 87 years old I think it hurts my feelings 87 it does hurt my feelings too that he's gasm gasm gasm and then there's that other song on there Which I don't even want to get into where he's filling your hole I fit in there is the last track and I when I heard that I was like I know he got into Prince's vault I Know he did somebody slid it to him on the down low. This is Prince music Prince would sing it not creepy

He was sexy from the jump. Yes, he can stay sexy. He's in that lane smokey is out of his lane. Yes Prince had that imp child like Look about him that even in his when did he die? He was like in 53 or something like that? Yes? He was very young 53. He still looked like a young man. It doesn't matter I met him when I was a child correct still doing sex music. Yes, so him doing sex music It's 60 doesn't offend me. Yeah tears of a clown didn't make me horny in any way, shape or form. Cruisin'. Yeah. Cruisin'. Which one is that? Smokey Robinson. You know?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like his songs, like yes, they make me happy, I feel good. I'm nostalgic. I didn't make you horny. Never. And I don't want to think about him horny ever. No. He was never in a sex position situation. And I certainly don't want to think about it at 87 years old

It's so upsetting. I'm playing it at my party tomorrow. Are you until somebody notices? I'm just gonna put it on repeat Are you gonna play gazzams or you're gonna play fill my hole both of them back to back and just wait till I fit in there It's so creepy. Don't look at the lyrics. It'll ruin you I can't I can't I can't quite believe that This hasn't taken the internet by storm. I've seen the word penetrate in it. It is penetrate in it uses penetrate twice All right, I'm looking that up. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry everyone Okay, let's take a short break and then we'll be back with our good friend Tina as we give her a farewell here on, oh not farewell forever from the commercial break, but a farewell from the physical location.

Yeah, okay, we'll be back. Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting Brian, give us a call at 626-ASK-TCB3, leave us a voicemail, and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't ya? You can also text us at 855-TCB-8383 and check out our website, TCBpodcast.com, for all things TCB. You know what's coming next.

Follow us on Instagram, at the commercial break, and on TikTok, at TCBpodcast. And now, let's listen to some sponsors because they're the real ones around here. Well, the earth just turned one year older, and I've decided to do away with the empty calories and added sugars. The good news for my bad cereal habit? I have Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon recreates all the flavors that we loved as children without all the baggage that goes in our bellies. It has all the flavors you love, but it's high in protein and it has less sugar. Astrid and I just bought a variety pack that has four flavors, cocoa, fruity, frosted,

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So if you don't like it, for any reason, they'll refund your money, absolutely no questions asked. Remember to start the near off right with a delicious bowl of high protein cereal at magic spoon dot com slash tcb and be sure to use the promo code tcb to save five dollars off. That's magic spoon dot com slash tcb and use the code tcb to save five dollars off. Thank you magic spoon for being a sponsor of the commercial break and giving me something to look forward to late night after I get out of the studio. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No. No. Shh, shh, shh. I don't want to hear it. I am highly debating whether or not I should even read these lyrics. This might be too much for even the commercial. This is fucked up! His people let him down! Who let this happen?

Which producer? First of all, the music- Agent, producer, who? The music is good. Yeah. The lyrics and the way he sings is terrible. He's off like three steps- he's off three steps and two octaves. I don't know who let him do this. It's not good.

It's not good. This is AI generated, I'm sure of it. This must be a joke. His producers or his agents must have said, Smoky, we haven't had a hit since 1984. We need to get you back in the limelight. We got these Prince tracks. Yes. We stole them from the Prince Family Foundation.

I don't even know. This is terrible writing. It's terrible. Prince made some wonderful music. Absolutely. You know how much I love him. I love Prince. It's terrible. Prince made some wonderful music. Absolutely. You know how much I love him. I love Prince. I love Prince.

I'm falling all over again with his version of Nothing Compares to You, by the way. Oh, it's beautiful. And the live versions are just incredible. But anyway. We digress. Okay. I'm going to do this. I'm going to read you these lyrics.

I'm not going to play this all. Don't. I'm going to let you listen to me read them. Let me in your life make some room for me. If deep down inside your hoping to fill up an opening. First of all, doesn't even rhyme. Spectrum of all. There's he's making no bones about it. To fill up an opening.

Then he says, I fit in there, I fit in there, I fit in there, I fit in there. I fit in there, I fit in there. Four separate times, she's telling you. Unlike you and your pocket pussy. My pocket pussy. I don't fit in there, I don't fit in there, I don't fit in there, I don't fit in there. By the way, follow up to the pocket pussy.

Apparently you have to work it a little bit. Oh, she wants four play. Yeah, she wants four play. Imagine. You have to get her to open up. She's gotta be stretched it a little bit. Oh, she wants four play. She wants four play. Imagine. You have to get her to open up. She's gotta be stretched out a little bit. But I've already given up on the idea. So thanks for the advice, but no, thanks.

By the way, we have some really perverted listeners out there because a lot of people chimed in on the pocket pussy telling me that I had to work on it. And I'm like, work on it. I'm not gonna go to work on a pocket pussy. This isn't a date. No. Oh baby, now I'm watching, work on it. I'm not gonna go to work on a pocket bus. This isn't a date. No. Oh baby, now I'm watching and waiting and anticipating.

And first opening, I'm gonna strike if you don't wanna be in love. What in the fuck does that mean? I'm watching, I'm waiting, and the first opening, I'm gonna strike, you're 87 years old. Yeah, we don't talk about openings anymore, Smokey. No, you're lucky to get the prune juice in your mouth Your mouth to take the viagra. Yeah, that's right

And then he says can we be in heavy like can we be in heavy like instead of in love if he wants to be in like? Yeah, oh heavy like oh, okay. I get it. I thought he was like young. It's too weird It's too strange. It's too weird if you got got one whole hour, one whole day, if you got one whole life, I don't have a crystal ball, I can't do future reads, but I know when it comes to it all, your future needs. Oh my God, that's disgusting. Open up, let me in. Here we go.

Let's me and you, let's begin. I fit in, I fit in there, I fit in there. Oh baby now, oh baby now, oh baby now. Can we be in heavy like? This is the most disgusting, putrid shit I've ever heard and it doesn't make any sense. Smokey, stop. I am the least talented person within 300 miles of here,

but I would make you better lyrics for a romantic song, age appropriate for a man that was 80. So I don't even think Frank. Well, Frankie B probably would say something like this, but I don't even I don't know any other 80 plus year old man. They may think like this, but I don't hear them saying stuff like this out loud. We don't sexualize our elderly, nor should they be sexualizing themselves.

Well, I get it. If you want to, like I don't disagree with people fucking at 87. No, I don't either, but that's not, no, do it. No, but I don't want music about it, yeah. Don't sing about it. You're so right about this, and I think I'm right about this. We're both on the same page here. I think Smokey's just trying to get some attention.

I think he's trying to get some attention. I don't know why this is not more sensational than it. I just said it. I can't believe this isn't all over the all this is not all over the internet I saw one Instagram reel about gazzams and It wasn't like I don't even think it was making fun of gazzams I think it might have been more of a promotional thing like oh look what smokey's up to and then I saw one tick tocker who Clearly hit it on hit the nail on the head. She was like, I respect Smokey. Smokey can do whatever he wants.

He's always gonna be a hero to me. But what in the good fuck are you doing? Don't damage it now. No. He's gonna go to somebody, he's gonna, there's another one on there. I listened to the whole album last night because that's what I do with my life.

It's the whole thing's pretty disturbing. There's one like your body or something like that, really fricking bad. It's just, I don't know what he was thinking and I'm really disappointed in the people in his life. Me too. A daughter, a friend, anyone? The songwriter is William Robinson, junior. That's Smokey Robinson, right? I don't,

let me see here. I want to see if his son is writing this or if he's writing this. If his son wrote this for his dad. William Robinson, Jr. is, William Robinson, is Smoky Robinson. He wrote his own lyrics and they are absolutely terrible. Yes. He took a hot dump on the floor. On his like, whole reputation in my opinion, because now I'll never hear him the same again. I'll be hearing gazzams every time cruising comes on the radio. That's it. And you know what?

This is like that Rudy Giuliani. You know Rudy, he was like our hero in 9-11. He was. He just should have stopped there. Just stopped there. There's no reason to get involved in any other bullshit. Stop way ahead. Yeah. Now he's just some crazy old man who runs around, you know touching fondling his maids or his assistants or whatever He's got to be fondling somebody definitely and that gasm song if you really look at the lyrics super creepy stalker style Oh, yeah, yeah, I want to be your eargasm. You're everything gas is watching. I'm watching gasm. Yeah. Yeah, he's fucking something's not right I just hope I don't get like that when I'm watching Gazzam. Yeah. Yeah. He's fucking- Something's not right. I just hope I don't get like that when I'm all- put me out to pasture.

Honestly. That's all I gotta say. Or just check in, make sure I'm okay, and then put me out to- Yeah. If I'm gonna be that crazy and that creepy- She's creepy, but we're gonna send her to space camp. I want space camp. I sent you to actual space.

Send her off to Skylab and let her do a few experiments. She'll be safe up there. Yeah, send her with a, you know, send Brian with a pocket pussy up to Skylab and put him in his own corner. Let him float around trying to fuck something. If you're gonna make, if you, if I'm gonna be this crazy when I'm old,

please let me be on some really good drugs, some really good drugs. That's all I ask. I think it should be mandatory that old people get drugs on demand. Whatever they want. Whatever they want. You want morphine?

Cool dude. However much you want. However much you want. Cause I don't give a fuck. If I don't take the Vicodin away from the 20 year olds. Please. Give it to the over 70 crowd. And if you're over the age of,

I call it 73. I think 73 is fair. If you're over the age of 73,'ll call it 73. If you're over the age of 73, then you should have on-demand narcotics. You should go to your doctor just to make sure that you're not, you know, like... Yeah, give me the K, give me the... Yeah, give it all. I want the K, I want to do mushroom therapy. There was an Instagram reel that I saw last night, I passed it around, I'll send it to

you. I'm assuming this is an Eastern European country like Croatia or somewhere like that. There's some music playing in the background or maybe, I don't know, maybe it's like Northern Pakistan or something. I'm not really sure, but there's some music playing in the background that indicates it's Eastern European or possibly, you know, Pakistan or Afghanistan. There are people partying of all ages, young and old. But the reel opens up and it's focusing on a table with old grandmas. Imagine like old gypsy grandmas.

They look like gypsies, right? And at first you're like, oh, cute little party with some grandmas, a table of grandmas, drinking their wine, doing their thing. But then it pans to one particular grandma on the right and that grandma is holding a plate. And she's holding a plate and someone hands her a rolled up bill, like a monetary bill.

I'd say a dollar, but it's probably not a dollar. And she taps it on the table, she keeps tapping it on the table, and then she takes one gack, if you look closely at this white plate, it's got two huge rails on it, and she gacks one with one line And then she gags the other with the other one and she has the reaction of someone who just did cocaine

Yeah, she's like gagging a little bit and she's like oh mom and she's rubbing her teeth Yeah, and then they pass it over to another this I'm gonna assume this woman was in her late 60s early 70s They pass it over to another lady who is in her 80s or 90s. I'm assuming she is so fucking old and the another lady takes a credit card and Smashes her out two additional rails and she does one with her nose and then she sucks one up with her mouth Whoa, yes, and then she's like and she's like Yeah, it's a big goal line geeky instantly geeking out so fast cut to some time later They're all out on the floor dancing as if they had just gacked up a couple of lines

I need that at that age though if I'm gonna go cut a rug like I love to dance. Yes, but at 70 I don't know. I'm gonna need some energy. I'm a little kick in the ass So at first I'm like let me let me and let me play this for you right right quick so just so you know what we're talking about here. I'm not even gonna be yeah and no one should be even mad about it. Whoa. Oh yeah this does look potentially yeah it is a table full of elderly. She's banging it too. She's banging it. She's banging it. She banged it. The younger crowds like encouraging it there's children watching. Boom! That was impressive. Wow. She takes it down fast. They've got dinner on the table. Yes. I love it. And then the old woman. Yeah.

She's got one eyebrow. Bang. Yep. And then sucks it up with her mouth. And her friends are high-fiving her and they're everyone's clapping. And they're encouraging her. They're like, go ahead ahead go ahead. Oh Look she takes a swing of wine. That's impressive. She's feeling better and then there we go. This is like my family So at first I'm a little bit disturbed by that I watch this real like 30 times just to see if it's isn't real are You know that looked pretty real look real so the nine-year-olds were just like peering over They were sitting at the edge of the table like, oh, this is what we get into. Once we get old, we get to do this.

We get to do this. Or do we get to do it now? I'm not even sure. This is grandma's medicine. That's what I would tell my kids. Everybody's medicine. So at first I'm a little disturbed by this. I'm like, oh my God, this is really weird.

It's strange. So foreign, such a foreign concept to my mind that these older folks would be banging rails like this In public in such public because the any time I've banged a rail it's either been in a dark dingy smelly bathroom or at the comfort of my own home with close confidants and friends who I know are not going to take a picture of me and send it out to the world right but then I was like normalize But then I was like, normalize, yeah, partying at a certain age. Normalizing. You earned it.

Yes. Yes. Let them have it. Let me have it. We're not far from it, I'm just saying. I mean, I don't know how close I am to it, but yeah. I think I, yes, you're right. In 30 years, listen. 30, 40 years, I'm good.

Yeah. Yeah. We're halfway there. I'm thinking to myself, here's how it goes. As a teen and in your 20s, you experiment, right? You try it out. You try it out. You get the partying out of the way. You make sure you have a good time.

Don't take it too far. Have some fun. Get all your giggles out. In your 30s, you straighten up. Get a job. Get a job. Have a family. Yeah, if that's what you choose to do.

White, husband, whatever you want to do, wife, husband, whatever you wanna do, right? And you work until you're like you're 60 years old and then you spend some time with the grandkids as a normalized human being. So the grandkids don't think you're a total fuck up. You have some fun with the grandkids. You gotta help the parents out cause they gotta do, you know.

That's it, they gotta go. You gotta babysit all that. You can't be banging rails while you're babysitting. I guess you could, but that's Florida for ya. And then once you get to like super retirement age, 73 years old, I'm saying 73 is the line of demarcation. If you've turned 73, if you've made it 73 years on this earth and otherwise unscathed,

you should be able to do whatever the fuck it is you wanna do and you should be just be hands off. There should be no law that can touch you. I agree. You should be a bang rails bang Tattoos who gives a fuck I checked out like it in a bedtime Viking breakfast Give me some of those vikios. Yeah Bring you off those rails you banged out all day Yeah, and you should check in with a doctor every once in a while just to make sure you know you don't have any gut problems,

you're not bleeding internally or some shit like that. But if you're otherwise. Just as yearly physical as per usual. Yeah. And if you're otherwise checked out by the doctor, you should be allowed to continue to party just like this. Yeah, you can tattoo like DNR right on my chest. Do not resuscitate under any circumstances.

That's why I don't become a burden to society if I manage to go too far. That's what I was thinking and when I was looking at this, when I was looking at this, I was like, are one of these ladies going to literally fall over dead? Heart attack, stroke out. You know, there's that one enzyme that like certain people carry in their bodies, there's like some enzyme that you're allergic to cocaine. Oh. And the second that you do that first rail, bam, you're done. Heart attack. Whoa. It happened to that high school basketball player. I wish I could remember his name. He was very famous high school or college basketball player. He did one bump of cocaine.

Bam, massive heart attack. He said, That's awful. I did not know about that now. Yeah. And now that might be, you know, It's kind of terrifying. Might be a wives tale like Taco Bell is dog food kind of thing. But what I heard. Back off the bell. Do you still eat Taco Bell?

Brian. Oh no. I have the app. I'm a fire level. You're a fire sauce kind of girl. I'm a fire tier rewards member. No. Oh yeah.

Are you eating Taco Bell on the regular? Pretty regular, yeah. What is your thing over there? I don't have it. I'm pretty open. You're pretty open or whatever? I tend to stick with the chicken. Double bubble chalupa. They don't do that anymore. They don't do chalupas anymore. They got rid of all my favorite items are gone, but yeah. They don't do chalupas anymore? No, chalupas they do. They don't do the double decker's, those are gone. None of those? The chili cheese burrito is gone. Really? Yeah. This is one of those McDonald's executive chefs do a podcast. You know, he's like one of those. The chili cheese burrito is gone. Really? Yeah. I was listening to one of those McDonald's executive chefs do a podcast. You know, he's like one of those corporate chefs who makes up new things.

Yeah. And he was talking about how, you know, in McDonald's world, there's so many stakeholders because there are so many of their restaurants are franchised that making a new item for the menu has to be tested and retested and everybody has to have their say and you have to do This and you have to do that and at the end of the day What you end up with is just another cheeseburger with some lettuce, right? That's what you end up with just give us a double cheese. No, I mean But Taco Bell because it's mainly corporately owned by Pepsi Co. Yeah, still the people. Oh, no, it's a PepsiCo. They still owns it

I'm pretty sure okay Oh, no, it's young brands young that still owns it. I'm pretty sure. Okay. Oh, no, it's young brands young brands own owns it now same people own KFC um So which I think might be owned by PepsiCo. I don't know who knows look that up in your funk and wagnos because if you're looking Yeah, they all over here. Yeah, but they he was saying that Taco Bell has the I Don't know has the luxury I guess yeah has the latitude to just go ahead and put something on the menu because what they're doing is just taking stuff they already have in house,

adding an extra tortilla, putting some more refried beans on it, gluing it together with cheese, and then handing it to your gut, and hopefully makes it out your ass the next day. So you really like Taco Bell? I do. How many times a week are you going to Taco Bell? Probably once. Probably once a week? 52 times a year?

When I was in the office, it was more often than that. But I do a lot of keto dieting. Taco Bell's really great for that. It is? Yeah. Why? I get, well, I would get my nacho cheese locos crunchy taco. Okay. Busted in a bowl and then empty the contents of two more tacos in it. It's like 10 carbs and fills you up for like five hours. Taco okay busted in a bowl and then empty the contents of two more tacos in it It's like ten carbs and fills you up for like five hours It's just lettuce meat tomatoes sour cream a little hot sauce if you're not key doing it

What is your favorite item like if you're not going for this lettuce bowl? I'm kind of a Belgrade a girl You like the nachos I always like the supreme tacos, no tomatoes. So like taco and sour cream. Yeah, I get the soft taco supreme all the time. But then fire sauce it. I'm a Diablo, but I use both actually. Oh, do you? Yeah, I have a drawer full at home.

Wow, I still have some. And I haven't been to a Taco Bell in probably seven years. You have to throw those out every six months. You do? Six months, self-life, don't. Well, thank God I don't eat it on anything. Totally. It's just saved there for the one day that I go to Taco Bell. For Don't. Well, thank God I don't eat it on anything. Totally. It's just saved there for the one day that I go to Taco Bell.

For the apocalypse? Yeah, for the apocalypse. You have to throw those out every six months? Six months. Do you think Taco Bell does that? Yes. Oh, I hope so. They go through them.

Yeah. Because they always give you 200. You're like, I need two mild sauces and they're like, here's 50. I don't like the fast food restaurants to get stingy on it. Me either. You go to a McDonald's, you ask for for ketchup they give you one packet. No like you need any more Yeah, I'm like yeah like a handful and then you get two and I'm like no I need like a hundred of them Can you please do that? I had them try to charge me for some hot mustard not too long ago No, they stopped that now. They stopped that now now. They just give it to you for free

I'm not paying for that. Yeah, give it to give me that give Give me. Because you know who's killing them in that department? Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A. That's right. You ask for barbecue sauce at Chick-fil-A and you say, can I please get a lot of Chick-fil-A sauce or hot sauce or barbecue sauce or whatever it is. They will literally give you 100 of those things because that's the way you should do it.

That's the way you keep on coming back. I'm not paying 50 extra fucking cents for some shitty KFC barbecue sauce. No. That's right. No. Why would I do that? I don't know this goddamn fast food places It's a xp is the worst. Oh, they made they charge you a tax piece. Yeah, you not even every meal comes with one 75 cents 75 cents. I came here for the zaxby sauce. I paid $13 for your chicken tenders. Give me my sauce

What's zaxby sauce? Is that like a like a they call it zax sauce? It's like a mayonnaise based. Yep Yeah with some hot sauce or something in there. Yeah. Jesus Christ Zach's. He's loosening up the belt a little bit. I know. They have great ice though. So they get away with it. I think that's why hardies went down. Hardies went down because they don't give you any free sauce. Is there a hardies around anymore? Do they have sauce? I don't know. There's a hardies up the street actually, but I've never seen anyone there. I'm like, how does hardies make any money?

If you've ever eaten at a Hardee's, you may understand why. Although I hear they have good breakfast sandwiches. Okay, let's take a break. We're talking about fast food. Yeah, we'll be right back. Oh, finally, I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to TCB podcast.com to find all of our audio and video content, and follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and on TikTok at T.C.B. Podcast.

Want it to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626-ASK-T-C-B3, and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 855-T-C-B-8383, and boy do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show. Okay, back with our good friend Tina here in the very cold TCB studios. It is chilly. It's fucking freezing, man.

We don't usually get weather like this. No, not for this long. And maybe like once every five years we'll get like a week of negative temperatures and then i'd negative i mean under the uh... under the degrees of thirty two right celsius here is that like the wind chills been like minus four which is a major is an advisory till midnight tonight jesus and then tomorrow's like the coldest winter day we've had in two years

crazy i have this function on my car where i can start it twice in an hour uh... but you only started for fifteen minutes at the time right i guess the safety feature on the car right so you started from your app and then whatever temperature you had it set up before that's what it's that the other turn like any like any time you turn on the car it's just goes right back to whatever it was

earlier this week when it was minus four the windshield was minus four it tells you the temperature inside of the car and the temperature inside of the car said invalid. And what I realized is that anything under zero is invalid. I agree, Carl. Yeah, I agree with your car. So I started it twice to get it warm. So when I put the kids in the car to take them to school,

at least, at least when we were stepping into ice. Inval valid temperatures. I'm telling you what, I started that car for almost a half hour. It sat there idling and it only got up to 42 degrees. Like it's, that's pretty fucking cold and your engine takes almost an hour to get fucking heated up.

Speaking of Taco Bell, I wanted to say, I wanted to share with you something that I've read and I'm wondering what your thoughts are. And there's been a debate around the house here lately about the proper way to wipe. And we're not talking about the children, we're talking about the adults. Now, let me explain my position on this.

And then I wanna hear yours. Do you use wet wipes? Sometimes, but they're bad for the pipes. So that's like the units broke for me. Yeah, okay, okay. It's bad for the pipes if you have a, one of those, you have certain types of, you know, like you've got one of those tanks outside, the second tank outside.

But you can now buy wipes that are completely biodegradable. Are you just throwing them in the trash? Yeah, you just throw them in the trash like some cultures do, like Venezuelans do, right? Because they don't, I guess their sewer doesn't, isn't made to handle toilet paper, so you just throw it in the trash. And sometimes when you go to certain restaurants or you go to certain places or you visit certain countries that don't throw toilet paper inside of the trash can or alternately they'll say do not throw the toilet paper

in the toilet, put it in the trash can, which I always thought was very gross. But that's because I grew up with indoor plumbing maybe that's just the luxury I have as growing up in the United States of America. But I have been using wet wipes for about as long as wet wipes have been a thing. So let's call it a decade and a half, 15 years.

And I use the wet wipes that are biodegradable. And my opinion on this is you go wet wipe to toilet paper, wet to dry, right? But now there's been some argument around here from some family members that you go dry to wet. And I'm like, how does that even make sense? Sometimes I will agree with you dry, then wet, to clean, and then another pass with a dry.

Okay, I go wet to get nice and clean, then dry to get dry. And just make sure everything's been taken care of. But your plumbing is a little different than ours. True. Okay, I got that. And so we've got substances that maybe you don't have to deal with. Correct. So I see where there could be an argument.

Yeah, because eventually the wet, it's alcohol based anyway, so it's going to dry a little bit. Yeah, yeah. You don't necessarily have to follow it with the dry. Well now I'm reading from this scientific study. Because you don't dry your babies after you wet wipe them. No, but you're putting on a diaper that dries them off. Do you see what I'm saying? So the diaper is absorbent, so you're drying them off. No, but I don't, you're right.

But babies are sensitive and you gotta be careful about how hard you wipe and what you wipe with and rashes and all that stuff and now I've got female you know I've got 35 children around here so half of them are female I think or something like along those lines. There's a lot of women. There's a lot of girls. There's a lot of female energy around here. But then I do understand you have to be careful you have to wipe a certain direction. You can't do this. You can't do that. I got like I'm I'm I'm an old pro now with that. But now I'm reading that a scientific study that's been done over the course of a number of years is saying that you shouldn't wipe at all and that over-wiping, getting, trying to get rid of all bacteria and remnants is not good because your body was built to take

that bacteria and that bacteria in some way, shape, or form is helping. And I can't even think of anything more disgusting than leaving shit on your asshole so it can help protect you from something else. No way, never gonna happen. But there is something to be said about the overcleaning because there is pH, right? pH balance. And we require it, our bodies require it, especially women, very sensitive, not to get too toilet talky.

But yeah, you've got to make sure you maintain a proper healthy pH, but cloneliness should not be avoided No, thank you the pH. Yeah, well, I've learned a few things about having girl children Which is you don't want to over soap the area, right? Because that's not good That's just gonna lead to infection and and or rashes and or whatever that's just gonna lead to infection and and or rashes and or whatever And all kinds of fun stuff. Yeah, I've ever had to worry about it till I had daughters that were you know Children that were daughters and then you got it. You got to get your hands dirty There's no way no two ways about it, but I've always been like, okay

Let's clean that anus really fucking good because that anus is just a problem. It's cool matter Yeah, the fecal matter is no good. That's I've always been drilled into my heads as I was a little kid Yeah, fecal matter is no good. Yeah, the fecal matter is no good. But it's been drilled into my head since I was a little kid. The fecal matter is no good. Close the toilet top before you flush it. No, no poo poo. You don't touch that. Pee pee? Okay. Some people wash themselves in it for God's sakes. We did that episode, didn't we? Have a drink. We did.

This one's on the house. But doctors are saying that the best way to clean yourself is a bidet, a one-pass bidet. Get it. Just one-pass bidet, a one pass bidet. Just one pass bidet, and then maybe a little pat to dry off after the bidet, and then leave the rest. Just leave it there. One doctor was saying that he sees lots of injuries

every year, injuries, tears, rips, sicknesses, infections, diseases, stuff like that, come from people who are trying to over cleanse themselves in that back area back there and I am just Mortified at the thought that I would you wouldn't want to leave some remnant shit back there to protect you from what I'm not sure But today's got to be a front and a back Can't just be the back because the back's bad for women because it'll just blow it all forward You don't want that yeah, but I say get a bidet and I totally agree with this doctor. Do you have a bidet? Yes, you do

Yes but I say get a bidet and I totally agree with this doctor. Do you have a bidet? Yes. You do. Yes, for a very long time. You've had a bidet like one of those, like an actual bidet or one that you attached to the toilet. Not a separate, but I, you know, my family was in Greece when I was growing up and they had that was in their apartment, it was everywhere.

All the bathrooms had two bowls. I found one of my children playing in a bidet when we were in Spain this year. Yeah, I got it, yeah. And I was like, you gotta get the fuck out of the debate, bidet, please. Yeah. Every kid's taken a shot to the face with a bidet. You just want to see.

And then you're like, oh, yeah, there it is. Yeah, it comes right up to you. I have actually, I've used the bidet only once, maybe twice when I was traveling in France with Astrid. I used the bidet. Just to say I did it, just to give it a try. It's a little disconcerting at first, but I do understand that... Oh, it's... You feel very fresh. You do. And when I was in Greece, I was a kid, this was a long, many, many years ago, but they... And

everyone just had a towel on the wall. Yeah. So that was when you had a dry, they didn't have toilet paper that would ruin the systems and Athens or whatever. So yeah, you just had your butt towel. Did you have your own butthole? Yeah, everybody had their own. Thank God. And you're clean, hypothetically, when you use it. And so you're just patting dry. So at the end of the day, that all went in the wash.

Everybody's butthole came back out the next day. Very interesting. This is why some European countries really have it correct. Because not only do they have the bidet. They've had it for a long time. Yeah. They've had it for a long time. Yeah, they've had it for a long time. Well, they don't do toilet paper. No, not in most places.

They don't believe in it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, if you go to the hotels, of course they do because they have a lot of Americans that are traveling through there. Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western,

Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, Western, I always thought, oh, that's a cool idea for your towel, until somebody also told me

something very similar. No, those are for hand and butt towels. Is that that sort of bacteria on that moisture? Yeah, kills the bacteria that steam or the hot, hot, hot heat will kill the bacteria. So when you go get this, but day, did you install it yourself? Yeah, you did. Easy. How much, how much those things cost? 20 to, I I mean you can spend as little as 20 or upwards of 100 It just depends what you want. They can light up. They have ones now that you can turn on from your bed It'll heat this the seat up for you. No way. Yes. Is it a whole seat? You put like a whole seat in there

Yeah, okay, there's some that are that fancy Wow Yeah, and does it heat up the water so you're not putting cold water in your ass? Yes So you have a hot and cold in your water and you because you have they have some with knobs on both sides Yeah, and then it will heat the seat and I have to say something about that heated seat in the winter time man It's fucking fantastic. We have to sit no matter what we're doing in there And it'll turn on a little light for you. Oh, I'm on I just woke up. I'm on my way I need one of these does have a phone holder Could it have a phone holder that also scrolls

through Instagram for me? I'll take a look today when I make it back home and I'll send you a link. Cause I'm doing a conference every morning in there with my kids now. They will not leave me alone. I fully advocate. I mean, for $15, $20, everybody should have one.

Okay, I'm gonna look into this because now that I've read about it, I'm like, well, I don't want my ass to go south as I get into the, you know. It's true. if I want to be 73 partying and with my Taco Bell app I don't want to About the butt towel you don't get any lint. Oh Yeah, cuz it's just one of those. Yeah, it's one of those Listen, I'm open to new ideas

Basket if you don't want to reuse it. I'm sick of toilet paper. I've been sick of toilet for a long time. It's not good for us as women too. It's linty. Yeah. Yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't even think about that as linty it gets caught in Yeah, which is probably why your Venezuelan family says dry first then wet That's what they were so mortified that I went wet then dry. To get that dirty toilet paper lint out of your Precious precious parts. Well, and also what they were concerned about is that the wet that you would be, if you wiped yourself,

then you would be touching the poop because it's wet and then the poop goes through there. But I said, you double up, that's what you do, just like toilet paper. You don't use like one single piece of toilet paper. Once you grew up in one of those weird households where your dad was counting the toilet paper, you don't do that.

You get a couple pieces, you fold it up, you make sure you got a good, solid protection level. The hand cloth is another argument for the hand cloth too, because it's not coming through that terry, you know what I mean? Very interesting. Your hands stay cleaner. Yeah, I think it's just more cleanly all around. I am gonna consider this for the family in 2024.

I'm happy we got inside your head. Yes, someone ever decides to pay us, I'm thinking about going bidet hand cloth. You wanna send a bidet. If there's any'm thinking about going bidet hand called. If there's any sponsors out, like bidet sponsors out there, then want to send me, want to be happy to read a commercial for you. If I can try out your $40 bidet. I'd love to get one of those Toto toilets.

Also anyone want to send us a few bags of bar mops? Yeah. They make great butt tells. Oh my God. Worst job I ever had was that goddamn McDonald's over there. You know where I'm talking about that. Damn McDonald's. I had to clean up the fucking morning shits every time.

Oh no. Animals. People are like animals. Coffee McMuffins. Yeah, coffee and McMuffins and at times cigarettes. People were smoking in there too. Oh, the little metal trays. The little metal ashtrays, they take them into the bathroom, put them on the toilet

paper holder and smoke cigarettes, read the paper. One of our restaurants had ashtrays, they take them into the bathroom, put them on the toilet paper holder and smoke cigarettes, read the paper. One of our restaurants had ashtrays in the bathroom stalls. Yes. Yeah. There was, there's a restaurant that I've been going to for a long, long time, Sushi restaurant. Love it, been there forever.

They just got rid of the ashtrays inside of the bathrooms, the ones that were attached to the wall. So you could be like half the urinal, kissing and smoking. What kind of D-Gen do you have to be that you can't, you have to have a cigarette while you're going to the bathroom? Well, I can understand this

because if you are with, let's say you're on a date and you don't wanna necessarily smoke in front of that date right away, which wasn't a thing until maybe the early 90s. Last year. Yeah, until last year. That's right. No one gave a shit.

If you smoke cigarettes until all of a sudden they're being heard. It's like yesterday. Yeah, and being heard it in like cats. I didn't tell you about the time I went to the Paris airport. It's fucking Paris. Everybody smokes. Everybody smokes, yeah.

Everybody smokes. It's all over the place. Charles de Gaulle, yep. And the Charles de Gaulle airport, which was one of my favorite layover airports, because you could go and you could smoke in multiple different places in the airport. It wasn't everywhere, but it was certain places.

Now they put you in little like star-tri- It's been in a vestibule in the middle. In a circular thing, all glass, it's got this big fan on the bottom and a suction on top, so it just sucks all the smoke. And everyone's tapping on the glass like there's some sort of monkey in a cage. I know. People are just looking at you and you're like, it's so disturbing. It's so disturbing.

Listen, I don't want secondhand smoke around my children either. I really don't. That's why I quit smoking a long time ago. I didn't want to have children with cigarettes. You know, cigarette smoke. And just for my general health, it's probably a good thing that I don't smoke cigarettes.

But I fight for the rights of my fellow cigarette smokers because I don't think you should also be herded in anywhere like cats. Like give you in a room with a door in the Atlanta airport. You used to have multiple smoking. Yes, no more. Even though it was terrible and it was so smoky in there and it was gross and there were weird people in there.

It felt like home. If you were a smoker and you went in there, it felt like home. At least you had a spot and you went in there, you felt like home. At least you had a spot to sit. Yes, you had a spot to sit. You had ashrays and ventilation sometimes. But now, they've gotten rid of it completely. There is not one place in that damn airport

where you can smoke. Barely even outside. You can smoke outside. You have to go all the way. You gotta go into the plane exhaust and get a cigarette on your hands. I do feel for the smokers now. I really do. We covered it all. Fast food, smoking.

Fast food, smoking, fucking your mom. Coop for days. Fucking your mother-in-law. Yeah. Food brags. Food brags. This has been an interesting episode. This is a sexual grandpa.

Unlike when you come in. Sex grandpa. Damn it, smoky. Cocaine and hailing grandmother, gypsy grandmothers. That was a good day. Yeah, we did it. Smokey Robinson. Speaking of smokes, Smokey Robinson.

That's a way to tie it all together. I always like to tie it together at the end. Well, my friend, good luck on your adventures. Thank you so much. You must come in when you have a chance. As often as possible. When you visit. I'm sure you will.

And you're always welcome to call us up. We'll check in on you periodically. You've been a big part of the commercial break. You've been a big part of the commercial break success, and we really appreciate it. Thank you. From me to you, I love you. I love you. All right. So here's how it goes.

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Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get.

Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get.

Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Now get. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,